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Copyright 1897
By Joun Lane
AR rights veserved
To Her Royal Highness
VICTORIA MARY, DUCHESS OF YORK,
to whom this book, by her. gracious permission,
is gratefully dedicated.
THIS IS A DAY OF GREAT EVENT
ov IN -THE. GOLDEN LAND OF DREAMS;
FOR THE KING HAS LAID DOWN HIS SCEPTRE AND CROWN
BY THE BRIDGE OF THE RAINBOW BEAMS; :
24864
AND DOWN HE IS COME TO THE WORLD BELOW
TO WALK AMONG MORTAL WIGHTS,
LIKE THE CALIPH OF OLD OF WHOM WE ARE TOLD
IN THE “BOOK OF ARABIAN NIGHTS:
AND DOWN IN THE WORLD HE HAS SOUGHT, AND FOUND
‘IN THE SOVEREIGN ISLES OF THE SEA,
A PRINCESS RARE, WITH A CHILD SO FAIR, :
‘THAT OF DREAMLAND THEY BOTH MIGHT BE,
THE CHILD HE SITS BY A BALANCE THAT WEIGHS
AS THOSE OF THE DREAMLAND WEIGH,
FOR THE SCALE COMES DOWN TO OUTBALANCE THE CROWN
WITH THE TOYS OF THE BRIGHT TO-DAY.
HE SEES THEM ALL IN THE WONDROUS LIGHT
THAT SHINES FROM THE DREAMLAND FAR,
AND IT MAKES THEM SEEM WHAT HIS HEART WOULD DEEM,
INSTEAD. OF JUST WHAT THEY ARE.
AND THE KING OF THE DREAMLAND WATCHES HIM PLAY,
AS WHEN HE WAS A DREAMLAND ELF,
AND HE LAUGHS FOR JOY IN THE GLEE OF THE BOY
AS HE STILL WERE A CHILD HIMSELF.
THEN HE LOOKs FROM THE CHILD TO THE MOTHER’S FACE
THAT IS LIT WITH A TENDER LOVE. ;
““NOW HERE,†QUOTH THE KING, “IS THE PLACE TO BRING
““THE TALES OF MY COURT ABOVE. .
‘“FOR HERE, IN THE HEART OF THE UNDERWORLD,
“Is THE HOPE OF THE NOBLEST RACE
‘““THAT EVER MIGHT STAND ON ITS CHOICEST LAND,
‘OR SAIL ON ITS OCEAN’S FACE!†:
SO BACK HAS HE NOW TO THE DREAMLAND FLOWN;
AND SITS IN THE DREAMLAND HALLS,
AND THERE FOR. THE, SCRIBES OF THE. ELFIN TRIBES,
THAT WRITE FOR THE COURT, HE CALLS.
HE BIDS THEM SIT DOWN AND WRITE WITH SPEED
THE TALES OF THE DREAMLAND BRIGHT;
THEN DOWN THROUGH THE AIR TO THE PRINCESS RARE
DESCEND WITH THE PAGES WHITE.
AND HE BIDS THEM SAY TO THE PRINCESS RARE:
WHAT HE SAYS TO ONE AND ALL—
THAT HE WHO WOULD RISE TO OUTWIT THE WISE
AT THE CHILDREN’S FEET MUST FALL;
FOR THEIRS IS THE LIGHT OF THE DREAMLAND TRUE,
AND THE WISDOM UNDEFILED;
AND THE WORLD AT ITS BEST SHALL BE LED TO ITS PRESET,
BY THE HAND OF A LITTLE CHILD.
BORRINGLON, MACGREGOR.
DRUMI0CHTY,
December 1897.
[Nora Preface)
Ny ie es
Ue :
A Book of Fairy Tales needs no Preface: so this is
not one.
I merely wish to acknowledge the help I have been
given by some of the Dreamland Princesses, who not
only took some of the stories down from dictation (and
that not like “‘ignorent rabetsâ€), but also made me
fair, if not fairy, copies of the same. And especially
to the “* Princess Elsie,†who supplied me herself with a
great part of “The Abduction of the Professor.â€
BARRINGION MACGREGOR
Drumtochty, 1897
CHAP.
. How King Longbeard came by his Name
Il.
III.
Iv.
VI.
VI.
VIIL.
IX.
xI.
x
i
~
The Spotted Mimulus
The Birthday Crown
The Conceited Monkey
. The Abduction of the Professor
The Dandelion Clock
The Fairies’ Surprise
All about a Snowflake
The Horoscope
. The Raid of the Airland Princes
At the Gate of Dreamland
. Through the Battledore
ee
29
45
61
83
109
131
15Â¥
165
1g
217
233
by his Name
AREAMLAND is where the baby
flowers are born. No one, except
1 those who live there, knows exactly
where it is; but every one knows
it is a land of golden beauty. In
its centre is a valley, surrounded
i by lofty mountains, through which
runs a river of liquid silver, as transparent as
crystal. This river comes into the valley out
16 HOW KING LONGBEARD
of a cavern in the side of one of the mountains,
and nothing wicked can swim in it: and that
is well, for though almost all the inhabitants
of Dreamland themselves are lovely and good,
still a few of them turn out badly at times;
and they have some unpleasant neighbours—
wild beasts that live in the forests on the moun-
tain-tops, and occasionally strange birds and
other creatures, that find their way thither from
the wilds of Nightmaria, which is not very far
off. King Longbeard’s Castle stands close by
the cavern, at the foot of a precipice, and the
silvery water washes its walls. And King Long-
beard is King of all that country.
In the winter, when the snowflakes come
softly floating down through the air, you need
not believe any of the tales that people tell to
account for them. Nurses talk about “ pluck-
ing geese in fairyland,’ and wise men about
“refrigeration †and “crystallisation,†and such
ugly words ; but, all the while, it is just King
Longbeard driving the cold away from the
baby flowers. And in summer, when you find
the sun shining too fiercely, it is because
King Longbeard will not allow it to shine
so in the golden land of dreams, for fear
the ‘baby flowers should be scorched. They
are so tender, and have'to be taken’ such ‘con-
CAME BY HIS NAME “LP
tinual care of! All day long, and all through
the night, they lie in the most exquisite little
cradles, or hammocks, made of a substance
called dream-silk, which is spun by magnificent.
diamond spiders, specially kept for the purpose.
Each baby flower has a nurse to look after it,
in the form of a large bee, whose body is ofa
B
18 HOW KING LONGBEARD
rich turquoise blue, banded with blue of a
darker shade; and these lovely bees sing to
their charges, and feed them with honey, till
the time comes for each to be carried off by
the fairies to some garden down here. And
‘that is why the flowers have honey, and why
they laugh so when our bees, who know
nothing about Dreamland, come and ask them
to give it back again: which, however, they
always do.
Longbeard is a strange name for the King,
whose face is nearly as smooth as your own:
but still it is a very appropriate one, seem-
ingly, when one knows why it was given to
him. :
It happened in this way. There were three
baby flowers hanging in their cradles near each
other in the Castle garden. Two of them were
good and lovely; one of a deep blue, the other
of a pale yellow—but I need not describe them,
for you know them well, one being a blue-bell
and the other a primrose. And the third flower, —
which was a dandelion, was jealous of the
other two, because they were not only beautiful,
but were also favourites of King Longbeard’s
children. And one day he heard them talking
together, and Primrose said to Blue-bell, “How
did you come here?â€
CAME BY HIS NAME 19
And Blue-bell answered, ‘“‘My mother dropped
me in a little seed on the ground below, and a
fairy picked me up and carried me hither.â€
‘““That’s exactly how I came here myself,â€
said Primrose. .
But when Dandelion heard them say this he
laughed rudely, and said, ‘Then I must be of
far greater importance than either of you, for I
came flying through the air in a bright fairy
chariot, with a great star of dream-silk shining
over me.
But Blue-bell and Primrose took no notice
of his conceited talk. So Dandelion grew very
angry, and lay back in his cradle, shaking with
rage, and thinking of all kinds of plans for
being revenged on them for what he considered
an insult. And the next night, when all the
other baby flowers were fast asleep, and their
blue bees humming drowsy songs over them,
there came along a fierce tiger-wasp, from a
nest on the border of the mountain forest,
where he had fed on poppy, and aconite, and
20 HOW KING LONGBEARD
black hellebore, and all kinds of poisonous
plants. And, as he flew by, the Dandelion
called him, and said, ‘“ Hullo! Tiger-wasp, I
want you to help me.â€
~ “Oh! is that you? What’s-o’clock?†said
the Wasp.
“Ves,†said the Dandelion. “I’m glad you've
happened to pass just now, as I want you to do
something for me.â€
“Anything you like in the way of mischief,
old Rabbit-meat,†replied the Wasp. “ What
is it?â€
~“T wish you wouldn't call names,†said the
Dandelion; ‘‘but, all the same, I want you
to get rid of that conceited pair, Blue-bell
and Primrose. You might do it by stinging
their blue bees—not enough to kill them,
you know, but just so as to poison their
MONEY:
“T couldn’t undertake a pleasanter job,†said
the Wasp.
'. Now ‘the Tiger-wasp was on his way home =
‘from doing terrible mischief, for he had, out of
mere wanton cruelty, gone that night to the
snowdrop’s cradle and stung its blue bee to
death. And that is the reason why the snow-
- drops come out so early now: they are looking
for the bees; but they never find them, and so
CAME BY HIS NAME 21
they always stand hanging down their heads
sadly. And now the cruel insect was glad to
find some more harm ready to his hand, or
rather to his sting; and so he prepared to
attack the bees who nursed the flowers Dan-
delion hated so, and grew so excited at the
prospect that his sharp buzzing sounded like
some threatening song.
If he had been able to keep quiet, he might
have effected his purpose; but both Primrose
and Blue-bell heard him, and, even in their
sleep, cried out so loudly that King Longbeard
heard them in his Castle, and, rising hastily,
came out to see what was the matter with his
baby flowers. And, just as he reached the
bed where they were, he too heard the shrill
buzzing, and saw the Tiger-wasp flying off in
the moonlight. When he saw him, he knew
there was some mischief abroad; and so, after
seeing that the flowers were safe, and their
bees unhurt and at their posts, he called his
22 HOW KING LONGBEARD
nightingale, that sings all night when the
flowers are happy, and said, “ Night-singer
mine, fly before me, and show me _ the
way to where the queen of the tiger-wasps
‘ dwells.â€
_ _ So the bird flew before him, and led the way
through the garden, and up the hill-side, to
the edge of the great forest. As they drew
near, several wild animals rushed out of the
jungle, as if to attack the King: but when they
saw him, and recognised who he ‘was,. they
turned tail and fled back again. After a long
and difficult climb the King came at length to
the wasp’s nest, and then he fearlessly plunged
his hand right into the centre and drew the
wasp-queen out; and when he did so, all the
other wasps in the land came flying to protect
her. The King then turned to descend the
mountain, and as he had at times to use both
his hands in climbing down he placed the
insect on his chin; and all her subjects swarmed _
about her, until they hung like a long, golden-
brown beard, reaching nearly to the ground.
So he came down, until he arrived at the bank
of the river of silver, where he knelt, and bent
. over till the water touched his face. And then
all the wicked wasps were washed away to be
drowned.
CAME BY HIS NAME ois
- But the Tiger-wasp who had helped Dande-
lion in his conspiracy called out as the stream
was carrying him away, “Oh, King! King! if
you'll spare me just this once, I will bring you
to the real mischief-maker.â€
If the King had known what he had done to
the snowdrop’s blue bee I don’t think he would
have listened to him, but, as it was, he desired
his nightingale to fly down and pick the miser-
able insect out of the water. The bird did
so at once, and then the wasp brought the
King straight to where his fellow-conspirator
lay.
When the Dandelion saw the King he fell
into great terror, and cried out for mercy.
Then the King, in the great kindness of his
heart, pitied and forgave him. “ But,†he said,
“you must both of you—Dandelion and Tiger-
wasp—go away into the great world below,
where people will hate you as much as they
will love your intended victims, Primrose and
Blue-bell.â€
Then the Dandelion and the Wasp went;
but they both despised the King’s clemency,
and became even more jealous than ever—so
much so that each of them turned bright yellow
for ever andaday. And the King, though he
had been very badly stung, yet did not mind
26 KING LONGBEARD’S NAME
the pain, because he had saved the baby flowers
that he loved so well. And this is how he, in
spite of his smooth face, came to be called
“ King Longbeard.â€
ne beard
lo re
ae :
The Spotted Mimulus
ZAHEN the mimulus, long ago, slept
4] in his cradle in the golden Dream-
land, he was not spotted with
yellow and red, as he is now, but
was all of one rich madder-brown
AN colour, that had a depth in it such
eer as you may see in the eyes of a
faithful dog. His cradle was near King Long-
beard’s river of silver; so near that he could
look over into the water, and see the splendid
30 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
red and gold fishes darting through it at their
play. Sometimes one of them would rise to the
surface and suck in one of the gauze-winged
flies, that were tempted to float there by the re-
flection of the sky they loved ; and the mimulus,
at such times, felt sorry for the fly. But he
was very curious to know how the fishes lived ‘
down there in the silver stream, where they
could have no blue bees to hover over them, and
sing them to sleep, and feed them with honey;
and, what was worse, no air to breathe.
You would not think the mimulus knew
much about breathing, but he did. And he
knew as little about fishes as you know about
him, for fishes all have plenty of air to breathe ;
air that they find in the water that runs through
their gills. And the flowers breathe, too, through
hundreds and thousands of tiny mouths, each
just big enough for a fairy to kiss; which shows
how small some fairies are.
And one summer evening —though why I
should say summer I don’t know, for it is
always summer in Dreamland—one evening
one of the fish missed the fly it rose after, and
the mimulus heard it say, “ Just my luck!†in |
such a disappointed tone, that he felt more sorry
for it than he would have done for the fly if
it had ‘been caught. In Dreamland they can
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 31
all talk to each other, and every flower speaks
through its thousand tiny mouths at once, and
that is why their voices are so utterly sweet—
like the Hallelujah Chorus in a whisper.
So, as the mimulus could speak, he leant over
the edge of his cradle, and said to the fish,
“Do you always miss the flies like that ?â€
The fish was rather surprised to hear himself
addressed by the baby flower; but he answered,
speaking in the language of flowers, “ No, I
hardly ever miss them. But I am not at all
myself this evening.â€
_ “Who are you, then?†asked the Mimulus,
a little puzzled.
“It’s not quite as easy to understand as it
might be,†replied the Fish ; “‘ but it means that
I’m quite different, without being anybody else,
you know—at least, not ye?.â€
“I’m sure that’s not any simpler,†said the
Mimulus.
“It's as simple as ever Ican make it,†said
the Fish. ‘You see, this is a very sad evening
for me. It is my last in this beautiful river of
silver, and the thought of that upsets me so,
that I can’t even catch flies as I usually do.â€
“Why,†said the Mimulus, “what are they
going to do with you?â€
“‘T don’t know what they will do wthout
~-
32 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
me,†said the Fish; ‘but I have had notice that
to-morrow I’'must go down below, and become a
trout. That will be more different than ever.â€
“A trout!†exclaimed the Mimulus ; “ pray,
what is that?â€
“I’m sure I don’t exactly know,†replied the
Fish; “ but it appears to be something spotted.â€
But the mimulus lay back in his cradle
and thought, “ How stupid of that fish to be
sorry that he is going to see the great world
down below! I wish I were going down to-
morrow. I wish I were going to be something
spotted.†And presently his blue bee came to
feed him, and he refused to take his honey ;
and when the bee asked what was the matter he
only answered, “I want to be spotted.†And
this puzzled the good bee so that it had to sit
down on the edge of the cradle and comb its
fur with the comb all bees carry, for five
minutes and forty-five seconds.
And meanwhile a great moth, in a buff over-
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 33
coat, came crawling up one of the golden rods
that the cradle hung on and said, “Hullo!
what’s the matter?â€
And the Mimulus said, “I want to be
spotted |â€
“Like me?†said the Moth, and it threw
open its overcoat, showing itself all speckled
with brown and gold; and then it gave a great
laugh and flew away into the night. !
And when the sun rose next morning the
mimulus found that the moth had shaken off
hundreds of its feathers over and about the
cradle, every one of them shaped like a little
spade or trowel, and the fairies had been
amusing themselves by gathering them up and
sticking them in patterns over his own red-
brown coat. And when he saw that he cried
out for joy, ‘I’m spotted! I’m spotted!†so
loudly that King Longbeard, who had been
sitting up all night nursing a sick violet, was
quite annoyed by the disturbance. O2GOM
It was against all the rules and regulations
of the nursery-garden for a flower to show any
sort of unbecoming excitement. And so the
King called for his robin-redbreast, who always
takes the first solo at his Morning Concerts,
and. said, “‘ Robin. mine, what flower: is that,
making such a noise ?†idea? uoy iled lew
Cc
34 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
And the Robin answered, “ Please, your
Majesty, I think it is the Mimulus i in the cradle
nearest the river.†.
So the King said, _ Hy. away, heag and tell
him to be quiet.â€
Away the robin flew, and gave the King’s
order, but the silly mimulus only grew more
and more excited and noisy; and so the King,
finding that nothing else could be done with
him, had him taken out of his cradle and given
to one of the fairy-guards, who took him off,
without his breakfast, to the lower world, and
handed him over to the gardeners.
Of course, people who think themselves wise,
will tell you that it is all nonsense about the
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 35
1 N
oo Mase DP
flowers coming from a Dreamland above the Sky,
and that all flowers worth having are grown by
gardeners here from seeds or cuttings. But if
36 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
you want to be really happy, you must not
listen to such overwise people. Gardeners are
the baby-flowers’ ogres. When King Long-
beard turned the wicked dandelion out of
Dreamland, a gardener got hold of him; and
this gardener and another ogre, called a botanist,
decided that he was quite too vulgar even for a
ribbon-garden. So they took him and pressed
him flat between the leaves of a book, and wrote
over him these two awful words—
“TEONTODON TARAXACUM,â€
and after that the doctors got him, and that was
the end. I am sure that if the mimulus had
known that, he would have been more careful.
‘When the mimulus first found himself shut
up ina garden, he felt more glad than sorry,
because he had had no breakfast ; any flower
that has to be sent down before breakfast being
too weak to go anywhere alone. The gardeners
fed him, at least; though what they gave him
was very different from what he had been used
to, and though he might remain in the garden
for years, and years, and years, he never could
forget his dear blue bee, and the honey it used
to feed him on. In the winter they put him
into a gaudy red earthen pot, which he hated,
‘because it did not suit his, complexion; but in
ee
+
Mi
4
ca
H
|
y 6
XY fo
‘THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 39
the summer they set him out in a bed, which he
liked better, though it was not at all like his
own old cradle of dream-silk. And; on the
whole, he began to grow reconciled to the life,
and became quite hardy and strong. But one
day an awful thing happened. One of the gar-
dener-ogres came and looked at him, and shook
his head, and said in a gruff voice, “ There’ s too
muckle o’ this mimulus here, whatever.†And
then he tore the poor plant out of his bed, and
sent him flying right over the wall of the garden,
where he fell down all limp and helpless, and
grew weaker and fainter, and weaker and ,
until at last he knew nothing.
- Now close by where he fell there pasued a
beautiful little river, that ran down, night and
day, to keep the sea from forgetting the moun-
tains: and this river belonged to a water-fairy
named Bervie.. They have called a town after
her now—but that’s neither here nor there, but
in Kincardineshire, and so we'll leave it there.
Well, this fairy was going along her river bank,
as she did every day, and she came past the
wall of the garden just as the mimulus fell
fainting outside it; and being a good fairy—
though I need not tell you that, for have I not
said she was a water-fairy >—she flew to aid
him. And so the first thing the mimulus be-
40 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
came conscious of was, that he was planted in a
rich, soft, red-brown earth, nearly of his own
birth-given colour: and through it there came
tiny threads of bright, clear water, almost like
the silver water of Dreamland, full of life for
his thirsty roots. And over his head there was
a lovely bower of golden broom, that was full
of the humming of bees, deep and true as the
singing of a Gospel; and it reminded him. of
his dream-silk cradle: and as he wondered and
gazed, he heard sounds of the music that only
those that are loved of the fairies hear. -
And then, dancing, dancing down from the
sky where King Longbeard lives, came a troop
of the gauze-winged flies who wear. brown
jackets in March, and shine in rainbow and
scarlet through summer. An awful Philistine
caught one once, and called it a Detached
Badger ; and so his name is written down in the
blackest of all Black Books: but other folk call
them Red Spinners. So these flies came—(you
can only imitate them with a body of alternate
music and singing, two strands of a phoenix
feather for tail, hackles from the Simorg of Kaf,
and wings of woven dream-silk—and of that
only the shot-sz/k will do)—they came dancing
down to welcome the mimulus. But one of
them came just the least little bit too far, and
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 41
touched the water with the tip of one of its
wings; and then up from the depths of the
stream there came a flash of silver and brown,
and on the surface appeared a magic ring that
“By wide spreading did increase to nought.â€
And out of the centre of the ring, as the fly
darted upwards again, there came a small and
dejected voice, that said, ‘Just my luck!â€
When the mimulus heard that, he nearly
jumped out of his. new bed. Because, whether
you are a Scotsman or a Maori, when you are
at the other side of nowhere, the sound of a
voice that you know comes like an arrow
feathered with the plumes that grow nearest the
heart of a stork. Fora stork is the very para-
gon of home birds, and the nearest thing toa
Dutchman. And when the mimulus heard the
voice, he knew it came from his old neighbour,
the fish that had gone below to be a trout ; and
the sound of it did him as much good as all -
the fairy’s kindness ; and so he called out, just |
as he had done in Dreamland, that memorable
evening before his banishment, “ Do you always
miss the flies like that?†»
When the trout, in his turn, heard him speak,
he recognised his voice at once; and so he
flashed up again from the bottom of the river,
42 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
so fast that he flew out into the air, where he
had just time to catch sight of the mimulus.
And as he fell back into the water again he
shouted out, ‘‘ Why, he’s as spotty as I am!
What a guy!†And then away he dashed
down the stream like a shooting-star. But this
made the mimulus very angry; for, as every
angler can tell you, it’s not a pleasant thing to
be laughed at by a trout. And so he called the
wind-elves that made ripples on the water’s face,
and asked them to help to find him; and the
wind-elves came and asked which way the trout
had gone. :
“ Down towards the sea,†said the Mimulus.
“Then,†said the Wind-elves, “we and the »
river will take you downwards to look for him.
But remember, if once you come down, you can
never go back again; and you will never see
Kerloch, or feel the mountain-joy.â€.
All this happened long, long ago. But, if
you go down by Bervie Water on a fine summer
day you may still see the trouts dashing up and
down through the pools, and the foolish mimulus
standing with its feet in the edge of the stream,
anywhere between the sea and the place where
the garden was, looking for its old acquaintance
_ from King Longbeard’s Dreamland. —
The Birthday Crown
JHE walls of King Longbeard’s
Castle rose up out of the very
waters of that beautiful river of
silver of which we have heard so
much. The Castle had an inner
and an outer court, and if you
= passed out by the great gate of
the latter, you would come at once upon perhaps
the most wonderful bridge that ever was built,
and certainly the most beautiful; for though
the -great Forth and Brooklyn Bridges are
very wonderful indeed, they are built of iron,
and are very ugly besides; and though there
are great and beautiful bridges of stone in
46 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
Germany and Austria, they are none of them to
be compared with this bridge, built of mag-
nificent rainbows. It led from the Castle
gate into the King’s gardens, where the baby
. flowers were nursed.
The King had a tiny daughter, whom he
loved beyond almost everything else in Dream-
land. He loved the wild flowers and the blue
bees that took care of them, and the birds that
sang in the woods. He loved his people, and
all his sons and daughters, of whom he had a
great many; but, next to the Queen, he loved
the Princess Monica best. And when her
birthday came round he called for all the fairies
of Dreamland, and told them to build her a
summer-house in the garden. Down here we
build our houses of timber, and wood, and
stone; but this house was built of fairy stories,
with windows of poems instead of glass. And
as the fairies built, all the birds:came and sang
to them ; and the blue bees took turns to leave
their charges and see how the work went on;
and even the fishes in the river of silver popped
up their heads out of the water, and cried, ‘‘ We.
wish we could build like that!â€
Seventy times that day the Princess Monica
danced in and out, over the rainbow bridge, to-
see the fairies at work, with her birthday crown
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 47
on her head. Every year she had a new
crown, more lovely than you can imagine, for
it was made up of all the kind deeds she had
done, and all the sweet words she had spoken
during the past three hundred and sixty-five
days. But the séventieth time she crossed the
bridge was just as the fishes cried out; and it
made her laugh so much that she shook the
crown from her head and it fell into the water,
where it sank out of sight. Back she ran
into the Castle, and told her father what had
happened.
Oh, papa!†she said; “do you know ?—
the little fisses have shouted my ce, crown
off!â€
_ ‘What do ie mean, darling?†asked her
father.
oie mean; they wanted to build houses for
their own selves, and so they shouted, and it
was so funny! I didn't know fisses could
shout.â€
Didn't: you, » my pet?†said: her father.
48 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
“But what about the crown? You haven't
lost it, surely?â€
“T fink it losted itself. Cos, you know,
when the fisses shouted, I Zad just to jump
and dance to let all my laughs out: and then it
just tumbled off, and rolled into the water. I
fink the little fisses ought to. be very hapPYs
playing with it.â€
“But, my ’Possum,†said the King, “ that
will never do. It is much too valuable for
fishes to have for a plaything. Come along
with me, and we will see what can be done to
get it back for you.â€
So he took her hand, and they both went out
and stood on the bridge, and the King called
for his trumpeter-gnat, and said to him, “Herald
mine, fly down to the silver water and make
proclamation to the fishes that whoever finds
the Princess’s crown shall be given the three
things he wishes for most.â€
When the fishes heard the gnat’s message
i
Pee
; :
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 51
they were all greatly excited. But though they
swam up and down, and searched in every
place they knew, they could not find the crown,
for the river ran so fast and strong that it had
Swept it away for miles. Down it had gone,
past the nursery-garden, past the fields where
the grass grows that makes hay for the horses
of the sun, and so it was borne into the whirling
rapids, and at last into the depths of the slumber-
pool, where it lay at the bottom.
Up and down the river swam the fishes of
crimson and gold; but none of them dared ven-
ture into the whirling rapids, and so they all
came sadly back. But among them theré was
one little fish, whose coat was all of a dull
brown, without so much as a crimson spot or a
silver scale; and when he saw the rest come
back, he said, “ Perhaps I could find the crown.
I am so small, and my coat is so dull, that
nobody cares for me; and if I am dashed to
pieces in the rapids, it will not matter to any one.â€
The crimson and gold fishes laughed when they
heard him say this; but he only laughed back
again, and set off down the river. As he went
along he heard a noise above him, and looking
up, he saw something struggling on top of the
water. He thought it might be a fly that was
good to eat, and so he shot up to see; but when
he got there, he found it was one of the blue
bees that had fallen in and was drowning. So
he lifted the bee gently on his back and swam
with it to the bank, where he landed it safely.
“Little brown fish,†said the Bee, “I thank
you for saving my life: and tell me now what I
can do for you in return?â€
“Oh,†said the Fish, “help me to find the
Princess Monica’s crown.â€
“That will not be hard to do,†said the Bee.
“ All that it needs is a brave heart. The crown
lies at the bottom of the slumber-pool ; and if
you make your way down there, I will come and
_ help you.â€
“ But how shall I pass the whirling rapids
and the falls in safety?†said the Fish.
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 53
“ Hold your breath, keep your tail quiet, and
let yourself go,†said the Bee, “and leave -the
rest to me.†‘And then away he flew.
So then the little brown fish swam on down
the river; and when he came to the whirling
waters he shut his gills tight, and stiffened his
tail, and wondered what would come next. The
rapids took him and dashed him about, and
bruised him sorely on the rocks, so that when
at last he was swept over the falls into the
slumber-pool he was quite senseless, and floated
up on his back to the top of the water as if he
were dead.
But the blue bee was there before him, hover-
ing over the pool; and when it saw him come
to the top it dropped a drop of its honey into
his open mouth, and then all his life and
strength came back, so that he danced through
the water with joy. And then, at the bottom,
perfect and unbroken, he saw the object of his
search—the Princess Monica’s beautiful birth-
day crown. So he dived down; and now the
honey had made him so strong that, small as
he was, he carried the crown to the top with
ease. But how to get it up the falls, and back
to the castle—that was the question. .
- But the blue bee was there, and it was not
alone. With it were twenty splendid dragon-
54 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
flies, radiant in armour of green and gold, and
each bore in its mouth one of the diamond Spi-
ders that King Longbeard keeps to spin the
dream-silk for the tiny cradles. And they came
down round the crown in a fairy ring, and every
spider laid hold of a point of the crown with a
thread of dream-silk, and when the blue bee
counted “ One, two, three!†away the dragon-
flies flew with the crown into the air, and hung
with it quivering over the crest of the falls.
“Alas, poor me!†said the little brown fish ;
“the crown is gone, and I shall never get home
again! Blue bee, blue bee, come and help
me!†The bee had not gone far off, but only
to one of the lower pools; and at once it came
back, and beneath it, rushing through the water,
came Salmo Salar, king of all the fishes that
swim.
The little fish was terribly frightened when it
saw him coming; but the bee flew down to him
and said, “Be brave, little fish. The salmon
is a friend of mine, and has come to your aid;
and so, when he opens his mouth, swim fear-
lessly in.†The little fish did so; and then the
salmon put forth all his magnificent strength,
and, with one mighty spring, leaped to the top
of the falls, and darted up through the whirling
rapids to the smooth-flowing water above.
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 55
Then he opened his mouth, and the little brown
fish swam out, and was astonished at the sight
that he saw. For all the red and gold fish had
come down to meet him and escort him back;
and up in the air above the blue bee had
arranged a triumphal procession. First went
King Longbeard’s own trumpeter-gnat to herald
their coming ; next came a band of the sweetest
singing-birds that could be found in all Dream-
land; then, in the midst of a perfect cloud of
fairies, came the twenty dragon-flies with their
diamond spiders, bearing the rescued crown ;
and after them came, two and two, all the blue
bees that could be spared from duty, with the
little fish’s friend and helper bringing up the
rear.
_ When they arrived at the Castle, the King
and Queen, with all their children and all their
Court, were standing out on the rainbow bridge
to receive them; and King Longbeard took the
crown from its bearers and replaced it tenderly
on the Princess Monica’s head. Then he and
56 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
she went down to the side of the water, and the
king called out, “ Little brown fish, come and
receive your reward.†So the little brown fish
swam up to the bank.
“Now,†said the King, “name your three
wishes.â€
“ First,†said the Fish, “I would like to be as
brave as you are.â€
“You are brave already,†said the King, “ but
you shall be the bravest of all the fishes.â€
‘“Then,†said the Fish, ‘“‘ I would like to be as
kind-hearted as the Princess Monica.â€
“You are kind-hearted already,†said the
King, “but you shall be more loving than all
the other fishes.â€
“And then,†said the Fish, ‘‘ I would like to
be able to build a house.â€
When he said that, a sparrow in the band
laughed so rudely that King Longbeard looked
at him with anger, and then all his golden
feathers fell off, and he lost his voice, and was
sent down below, where he felt so mean that he
never said anything but—‘ Cheap! cheap!†to
the end of his days.
But the King said to the little brown fish,
“You shall build houses—beautiful houses,
such as none of the other fishes will be able to
build; and, more than that, you shall be the
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 57
most beautiful fish that swims in the northern
rivers. You shall be clothed with an armour
of gold, such as the sparrow has lost, and from
each of your scales shall shine all the seven
colours of my rainbow bridge; and your heart
shall be filled with love for your wifeand young
ones, and the fins of your back shall rise into
swords to drive away all who would hurt them.â€
And all this latter part of my story has come
veally tyvue. For when the turn of the little fish
came to leave the river of silver, and come down
into the lower world, it did not become a trout,
like most of its more pretentious companions,
but a stickleback. And to this day it is unap-
proachable in its rainbow beauty, and we can do
nothing but wonder at its nest-building powers,
and the courage and devotion it shows in de-
fending its family against all intruders.
The Conccicd Monkey
SSyen GH up on the hills that shut in
SOX ‘PM the valley of Dreamland, is a wild
and extensive forest, which (as I
have already told you) is infested
by wild beasts of all kinds, some
of which, now and then, come
= down into the lower-lying country,
and try to make trouble for the peaceful
folk who live there. The monkeys are the
62 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
most forward and annoying of all. Each of
them thinks all monkeys wiser than the rest
of the world, and himself the wisest monkey of
the lot—as, indeed, he certainly is. They are
not generous enough to give all the trouble
away-to their neighbours : no, they keep plenty
of it to use among themselves. And they can-
not be complimented on living happily together,
since the wisest monkey is always on the look-
out to cheat and get the better of the others.
This is a most unhealthy state of affairs, and
brings on an illness known as “ swelled head,â€
which its victim always thinks something to
be proud of, as it feels just like having a feather
in one’s cap.
There had been a jolly row in monkey society.
The aforesaid wisest monkey had just come
home from a long visit to India, where he had
been made a great deal of, and gave himself
more airs than ever in consequence. The
others had borne a great deal from him, in the
way of bragging of his accomplishments. He
had learnt reading, writing, arithmetic, short-
hand, freehand drawing, cookery, and slojd ;
had been round the world; and had passed the
seventh standard. Never was such a learned
monkey !
The trouble began with his wanting to set
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 63
up a school in the forest. He gave out the idea
cautiously at first ; but we all know what becomes
of even the most solemn secret, when once a
monkey gets hold of it; and so the very next
day the rest of the tribe held a caucus (2¢., a
‘meeting where every one takes the chair, and
all speak at the same time), and decided that
they were quite educated enough already. The
other wisest of all monkeys got up and told
him so.
“Very well,†said the would-be schoolmaster,
whose name, by the way, was Hanuman—
“Then I won’t tell you about what I saw in
India.â€
This appeal to their curiosity was too much,
and so the caucus returned to its deliberations,
and they withdrew their opposition so far as to
agree to take a trial lesson from him. There
was some discussion as to the subject, which
was ended by the other wisest monkey remark-
ing that since Professor Garner had been speak-
ing disparagingly of monkey-talk, they had
64. THE CONCEITED MONKEY
better go in for elocution. This was received
with cheers, and Hanuman was invited to begin
at once.
“T thought you’d come round!†he compla-
cently observed. ‘ Now, sit down, all of you,
in front of me, and I’ll begin with a recitation.
It’s a little thing of my own, called
“AN ODE TO A-RUM SHRUB.
“The poppies in the hedgerows twine ;
The figs are ripening on the vine;
And the carnations columns tall
O’ertop the violets on the wall ;
While, down the path, its petals red
Doth the majestic snowdrop shed ;
And, where the emerald dahlia creeps,
And laurestinus shyly peeps,
The lily of the valley throws
Its burly shade across the rose,
Whose airy tendrils clasp the while
The fairy Lily of the Nile.â€
Here Hanuman stopped for applause. An
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 65
old baboon got up and walked away, followed
by a few marmozets; and an elderly spider-
monkey in the second row remarked, “ How
sweetly pretty!†Hanuman went on—
“O, Rose and Lily—one, yet two!
Alike in perfume, form, and hue:
Bright twins of nature and of art ;
So hard to name when seen apart,
And yet betraying to each sense,
When joined, a subtile difference
That makes each, each—How is it ye,
» Like proverbed Love and Poverty,
66 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
In mutual elusive flight
Escape from one another’s sight
So oft, that e’en to join your names,
A poet’s utmost licence shames ?â€
“Tm sorry to interrupt,’ said the other
wisest monkey, “but I must ask one question.â€
“ Ask away,†said Hanuman.
“Have you got a licence?†said the other
wisest.
“Of course I have,†said Hanuman. ‘‘ How
do you suppose I could write poetry without
one?â€
No reply to this was forthcoming, and so the
orator went on again—
“ The lily of the valley flings
Its massive boughs in eddying rings ;
The turncap lily’s fruitage rare
Pervades the circumambient air ;
The treasured lily of Japan
Spreads like a raven’s diamond fan ;
And the rathe water-lily’s flowers
Raise their long spears amid the bowers ;
But memory bids me still recall
The tiniest flow’ret of them all,
And brings, to crown the sylvan pile,
The fairy Lily of the Nile.â€
Here the younger portion of his audience
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 67
rushed off in pursuit of a passing squirrel. But
Hanuman went perseveringly on—
“© fairy Lily! Thou whose spots
Show ruddier than the apricot’s,
I love to pluck thee, and to think
How, oft on Boreal Nilus’ brink,
The ibis, lost in rapture, sips
Rich draughts of nectar from thy lips ;
Or how, in Cleopatra’s vest
Thy starry calyx used. to rest,
And reproduce, with pigments rare,
The ebon glories of her hair,
That now repeat themselves again
In thy pale leaflets’ golden rain.â€
68 “THE CONCEITED MONKEY
_ By this time none of the monkeys remained
but three grey-headed ourang-outangs, who
were fast asleep, and the spider-monkey men-
tioned above. Still Hanuman plunged boldly
into his last verse—
“Give me no poppy’s clambering trail ;
The whorls of figs will not avail,
Nor the carnation’s dainty bell,
Nor scarlet pansy-leaves, to tell
The myriadth part of what my soul
Would say. But long as snowdrops roll
Their moss-grown stamens, and below
The rhododendron-bulbs o’erflow,
And dahlias hide their glimmering eyes,
So long my careworn heart will prize
Beyond the Rose’s turquoise smile
The fairy Lily of the Nile.â€
“T should so like you to write those verses
in my album,†remarked the Spider-monkey,
with a coquettish air.
“No, thank you, ma’am,†replied Hanuman ;
“T leave that sort of thing to those who have
nothing better to do. It seems to me I’m being
thrown away here. They don’t get anything
out of me about India, however.†And then
he walked away in a state of profound disgust.
He did not notice where he went, until he
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 69
found himself on the edge of a great cliff, that
rose some hundreds of feet in an almost sheer
precipice, close behind King Longbeard’s Castle,
and was looking down into the Royal gardens.
He could see the Castle standing below him,
and the river of silver pouring from the cave
and flowing by its walls, and the rainbow bridge
that spanned it and led into the nursery-garden :
and up through the air came a sound of the
singing of thousands of birds, and, clearly to
be heard through all, though not so loud, the
‘humming of the wonderful blue bees. Sweeter,
‘too, than the music of either birds or bees,
came up the merry songs of a troop of children,
who were playing in one of the fields by the
river-side. It was the Princess Elsie’s birth-
day, and she was keeping it in company with
her sisters and a number of child-fairies. A
party of the King’s workmen were busily em-
ployed in the meadows farther down the river,
making hay for the horses of the sun; and, as
the children sang, they joined in, and sang the
70 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
same songs, with voices stronger than theirs,
but just as sweet.
Hanuman sat and listened, not at all becaus
he in the least enjoyed the beauty and sweetness
of it, but because he wanted to understand what
it all could mean. This, however, he could not
do, even though he was (as I have said) the
wisest of all the monkeys—wiser, in his own
estimation, than even King Longbeard himself.
A cousin of his, who had gone to live in York-
shire, had sent him a most beautiful book for a
present, with quantities of pictures of mill-
chimneys, and coal-pits, and back-to-back
houses, and excursions to Blackpool, besides -
advertisements of soap, and pills, and cocoa—
enough to make a Christmas Annual. And so,
as he sat on the top of the cliff, and looked
down into Dreamland, he thought nothing of
its peaceful loveliness, or of the happiness of
those who lived there; but only of what a
stupid, useless, behindhand sort of place it must
be—so utterly unlike the wonderful world re-
vealed to. him by his picture-book. ‘ Why,â€
he said to himself, “ they know nothing—abso-
lutely nothing. I do believe those fellows down
there never heard of such a thing as a strike in
their lives, or of a school-board, or a caucus >?
Could one of them calculate the odds on a
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 71
dog-race, or tell how to suppress a football
referee?â€
And then a great idea came into his mind:
and it was this—that he himself would go down
and set up a school in Dreamland.
Now in the midst of the forest was a shop,
kept by a fussy old magpie, and furnished with
one of the most extraordinary collections of
pickings and stealings you can imagine. She
had rags, bones, and old bottles for sale;
second-hand books, and fourth- and fifth-hand
clothes; peppermint rock, and sham jewellery,
besides an indescribable assortment of articles
that no inland bird or beast would ever, in its
right senses, think of using: and this was pro-
bably the reason why she had had a board put
up over her door with ‘‘ PICA CAUDATA,
DEALER IN MarRINE SToRES,†inscribed upon
it in the reddest of red letters. And it was to
her that our monkey, having decided on the
profession of schoolmaster, went for his outfit.
First of all, he bought a college cap and
gown ; and the latter was not of a dingy black,
such as they wear in the English Universities,
but of a lovely Aberdeen red: and the magpie
assured him that it, and the cap with its red
silk tassel, made him look as pretty as one of
those sweet girl-students we meet in the streets
GD THE CONCEITED MONKEY
of the Granite City. Then he bought a pen,
which he stuck behind one ear, and a quire of
copy-paper, and a slate and pencil, and a small
piece of sponge, and a large piece of chalk, and
a copy of “ Butter’s Spelling,†and one of
“Hamilton on Quaternionsâ€; and with these
he started off into Dreamland.
When he got there he made his way to an
open piece of ground that lay between the gar-
dens and the hay-fields, in the middle of which
stood a tall beech-tree, and to the trunk of this
tree he fastened a sheet of paper, on which he
had written : ;
“Knowledge is power.â€â€”Lytton.
“Man, know thyself."—Out of my own head.
TO THE INHABITANTS OF DREAMLAND,
PROFESSOR ENTELLUS HANUMAN SEMNO-
PITHECUS, A.P.E,,
Has opened an Academy
For instruction in all the usual branches of a Polite Education,
including—
SHORTHAND, COOKERY, SLOJD, AND FREEHAND DRAWING,
MATHEMATICS, AROMATICS, AND RHEUMATICS,
HYDROSTATICS, TACTICS, TICTAX, INCOME-TAX, OUTGO-TAX, -
STATISTICS, RETURNS, SHAG, AND CUT CAVENDISH.
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 73
TERMS :—
Stalls : . > : » 5s. 0d
Reserved Seats 3 : . 2s, 6d.
Gallery and Pit ae _ Is. Od. -
Children Half-price.
Washing and Refreshments Extra.
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS :-—
“They come as a boon and a blessing to men.â€
MacNibble & Scrabbleum.
“Worth a guinea a box.†—D. T. Screechem.
“Grateful and comforting.â€â€”Cocoaberry & Co.
“Matchless for the complexion.†—Apples & Patti.
Every Coupon is equtvalent to a Policy for
£2000.
“ And if that is not a fine, attractive adver-
tisement,†said the monkey to himself, ‘I
should like to know what is:†and as he said
so he struck his arms akimbo, put his head on
one side, and walked backwards to admire his
handiwork. But he forgot that the river ran
not far behind him, and so in he tumbled with
a splash and a yell that was heard by the Prin-
cesses and their fairy companions. ‘They ran
_and flew to the spot as fast as they could, but
the current was so strong that it swept the poor
‘monkey off down the stream, and he would have
14 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
been speedily drowned—for nothing that is not
perfectly true can swim in that silver water—if
one of the haymakers in the field below had not
jumped in and rescued him.
The man bore the poor Professor, miserably
draggled, and more dead than alive, to where
the Princesses were standing. The Princess
Geraldine, who was the eldest, desired him to
be carried into the Castle, because every living
thing in distress has a claim on King Long-
beard’s kindness ; while she bade a messenger-
fairy fly on before to make all ready to receive
him, and to prepare a warm draught of nectar
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 7G
for the haymaker. So the first thing the
monkey knew was that he found himself snugly
tucked into a comfortable bed, while a good-
natured looking old fairy fed him with ambrosia
out of a golden basin. (I should tell you that
both nectar and ambrosia are made by the blue
bees, and are what the fairies themselves live
on.) His college cap had been lost in the river,
and his pen had shared the same fate ; the rest
of his school apparatus he had left on the grass
under the beech-tree, but he could see his red
gown hanging before the fire to dry.
“Well,†he thought to himself, “these are
fine doings! Here I am on a genuine feather-
bed, between cambric sheets, under a silk
counterpane, fed out of a golden basin with the
76 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
jolliest stuff I ever tasted. What an important
person I must be!†aa
Just at that moment the door opened, and
the King’s physician came in—a handsome,
pompous-looking old gentleman, dressed in a
richly laced coat, with a three-cornered hat, and
carrying an enormous gold-headed cane. He
came over to the bed, pulled out his jewelled
watch, and felt the monkey’s pulse: then he
opened his thermometer-case, and took his
patient's temperature by putting the little glass
tube under his armpit. This last operation
rather frightened the Professor, who had never
seen it done before, and thought the arm was
-going to be cut off; but as the physician only
went on to look at his tongue, and give the
nurse directions about his diet, and then bustled
off out of the room, he recovered his spirits, and
thought to himself, “What a very important
person I must be! I hope he won’t expect a
fee from me!â€
And not long after there came a gentle knock
-at the door, and the nurse said, “Come in.â€
So in came the Princess Elsie, leading by the
hand her little sister Princess Monica.
“Monica wanted to see the sick monkey,
nurse; and papa said I might bring her,†said
the elder girl.
THE CONCEITED MONKEY oF
‘Want see sick mukkey, Nurnie,†echoed the
little one.
“Yes, my darlings,†said the Fairy; “come
and look at him, but don’t stay long.â€
When the monkey heard that, and guessed
who his visitors were, he half-closed his eyes
and tried to smile and look interesting, but
failed so dismally in the attempt that Princess
Elsie drew back, thinking, ‘‘ What a dangerous,
ugly beast!†But she said aloud, ‘“ Poor fellow,
Iam glad he was not drowned. I must send
him some of my birthday cake as soon as he is
well enough to eat it.â€
“N’yum-n’yum!†thought the Monkey, but
he said nothing.
But the little Princess Monica had such a
tender heart that she loved all animals, even
the ugliest and fiercest: so she put out her wee
handie and stroked the Professor’s fur, and
said, ‘ Nice mukkey, p’etty mukkey! Mukkey
sick, me sorry!†And then they went away,
and as the door closed behind them the monkey
thought, “What a vERY important person I
must be! I hope they won’t expect free educa-
tion from me!â€
They had not long been gone when another
knock was heard at the door, and there entered
no less a person than King Longbeard himself.
78 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
He had not on his golden crown or robes of
state, but he looked so majestic, and the fairy
nurse curtseyed so low before him, that the
monkey knew who he must be; so he said to
himself, “This is going to be a big thing,†and
straightened himself out very stiffly, closed his
eyes, and called up his most intellectual ex-
pression.
Now there was nothing more common than
for the King to pay such a visit, for the whole
business of his life was to strengthen the weak,
and help the feeble, and set right what he found
going wrong; and it was no unusual thing for
him to sit up whole nights if any of his dearly
loved flowers, whom he trained for their life on
earth, were out of sorts. So, of course, he came
to look after his accidental guest; and as soon
as he saw him he knew that the dip in the river
had done him more good than harm, and that
all that ailed him was an attack of “swelled
head,†which never kills anybody—and more’s
the pity! So when he saw this, knowing that
the Professor’s illness was incurable, he gave
a great sigh, and the monkey hearing him,
thought, ‘““Dear me! His Majesty is deeply
concerned. What a VERY important person
I must be! I wonder what he can think he’s
going to get from me—gratitude, perhaps.
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 79
Well, I might pay fees, and I could give educa-
tion, but gratitude—that would be too much ;
besides, I never had any. It’s clear I must make
the best of present opportunities.â€
And then, as the nurse went over to the door
to open it for the King, the monkey grabbed
the golden basin, made one spring out of bed,
through the open window, and away he scrambled
up the carved stonework of the castle wall, till
he reached the roof. But when he got there he
found he had reckoned without his host; for,
instead of being able to climb from the roof to
the rocks behind, as he had hoped, he saw that
the only way into or out of the castle for man,
beast, creeping thing, or climbing thing, was
over the rainbow bridge, and so he was a
prisoner.
Then the King came out into the courtyard
below and sent a page to summon his gardeners ;
and they came, bringing pots, and in the pots
were ivy, and vines, and jasmine, and clematis,
and all sorts of climbing plants. The wild
convolvulus came to help, too. ‘And now,â€
it said, “they sha’n’t call me ‘ Bindweed’ for
nothing.†And then up the castle wall crept
all the plants; and the monkey, as he saw them
coming, shivered and chattered, and when they
came up to him bit and tore at them. But
80 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
they soon overpowered him, and bound him
fast hand and foot with the wild convolvulus,
and lowered him down to the courtyard, where
he was seized by the fairy guards.
King Longbeard’s sentence on him was, that
he should be chained to a pole for the rest of
his life, and placed between the beech-tree
where he had tried to keep school, and the
river where he had tumbled in.
pee
@® ABDUCTION|
OF THE
PROFESSOR.
@
®
yy,
The Abduction of the Professor
CHAPTER I
WHERE was great excitement in
Dreamland—the Professor had
Cr: J
Yaar broken loose!
Ui Yj ae 6
A)
Mick, the Irish haymaker, who
had rescued him from a watery
grave, and had been entrusted by
King Longbeard with the care of
the monkey, his kennel and his food, had come
one morning to look after his charge, and
(
i
M7
84 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
WAI
found only a fragment of broken chain left as a
“P.P.C.†This (not the bit of chain, but the
desertion) he took very much to heart, for, as
he said, “he couldn’t blame the baste for
amnestyin’ himself, av he had the chance; but
he might ha’ guv his owld friend some notice
that he wor goin’ away unexpected.â€
However, the Professor was gone, and had
left no address ; nor was any trace to be found
of the direction that he had taken. The most -
experienced trackers of Prince Robert’s hunting-
party, with their finest-nosed hounds, were set
to work in vain; not a crushed blade of grass,
nor a trace of scent, could be detected beyond
the circle that marked the sweep of the chain
that, with its occupant, had so singularly dis-
appeared ; and at last even the fairies gave the
problem up as insoluble.
But if you had been there the night pre-
ceding Mick’s discovery, you might have seen
a wonderful sight. In the bright moonlight
something that looked like a small black cloud
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 8 5
TON ESS
oy EG
oT)
rose from behind one of the distant mountains,
and came floating towards the centre of Dream-
land; and, as it came nearer, you might have
seen it take the form of an enormous bird—
none other, indeed, than the great Roc himself.
On he came, flying swiftly and steadily; and
crooning a strange, low, monotonous song, in
the key of double-X-flat minimus ; and every
fairy, and wind-elf, and water-sprite that heard
it, just rolled over, and went fast asleep where
he (or she) lay; and even the blue bees in the
garden stopped humming, and settled down on
the cradles of the baby flowers ; and the night-
ingales and owls tucked their heads under their
wings, a feat of gymnastics, by the way, which
the latter performed on this occasion only; and
all the horses and cattle, and all other animals,
became hypnotised too. But Professor Entellus
Hanuman Semnopithecus kept wide awake.
And the Roc came on, and flew down, and
86 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
perched on the beech-tree by the Professor's
pole, and cocked his head on one side, and
looked almost as wise as the monkey himself.
Being such a very large bird, and having
exerted himself so much between flying and
singing, he was rather out of breath when he
arrived; and so Hanuman, who knew him
well, having often met him in the East, spoke
first.
‘Rather puffed, old cock, eh?†was his first
remark.
“Eh! what? I don’t quite understand you,â€
panted the Roc.
‘You don’t seem in first-rate training—now
do you, honour bright ?†said the Monkey.
“Never was in a train in my life,†said the
bird ; “don’t believe in such things.â€
‘‘T meant that you seem short in the wind,â€
explained Hanuman.
“If you’d been as long in the wind as I
have,†said the Roc, “you'd have a different tale
tortellee
“Thank you,’ said the Monkey; “but I
prefer my tail as it is.â€
“JT mean,†said the Roc, “you'd have
another song to sing.â€
“Tm sure I can sing as well as you, any
day,†said the Monkey.
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 87
“Ah! but not at zight,†said the Roc.
“ That does make some difference, certainly,â€
said Hanuman; “but at night I give recita-
tions. That’s much more fashionable nowa-
days.â€
“ Nights, you mean, don’t you?†said the
Bird. “But you can’t recite really, can you?â€
“Can’t I? rather!†exclaimed the Professor.
“Just you listen, and I'll show you what I can
do. There’s no charge for admission: but a
collection will be made to defray expenses.â€
“T sha’n’t put anything in,†said the Roc.
“You won't put me out, though,†said the
Professor. And then he began:
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse, and sang ;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
‘Oh, I’m the Commander of all the Force,
And all the Force is commanded by me—
Of the Zwang-ti-Zwang, Prince Ziggledizee i
And the sound of his singing became so loud
That we all of us feared he was growing too proud:
‘For we hold that humility, hunger, and grief
Are the things that suit a Commander-in-chief.
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse, and sang ;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
‘I’m full of potatoes and lobster sauce.
88 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
Of sauce and potatoes I’m full, you may see—
Of the Zwang-ti-Zwang, Prince Ziggledizee !’
And the sound of his singing, it fell so flat
That every one feared he would soon grow fat :
And we know that humility, hunger, and grief
Are just what befit a Commander-in-chief.
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse, and sang ;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
‘I never was sorry, I’ve no remorse,
Regret and repentance are strangers to me—
Of the Zwang-ti-Zwang, Prince Ziggledizee.’
And the sound of his singing, it echoed so jolly,
We deemed it the most reprehensible folly :
Since surely humility, hunger, and grief
Are the signs of a true Commander-in-chief.
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse and sang;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
Till his throat was sore, and his cold grew worse,
And the Force mutineered, and the lobsters rose,
And he couldn’t get any more po-ta-toes ;
And the sound of his singing grew faint and low,
Till it seemed the expression of uttermost woe.
Then we gave him a medal, and tenpenny nails,
And a rhubarb pie, and the Game of Squails,
And rejoiced that humility, hunger, and grief
Had o'ertaken at last the Commander-in-chief.â€
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 89
- “J don’t think much of that,†said the Roc.
“There’s zof much of it,’ said Hanuman.
“It’s your turn now. What can you recite?â€
“What will you have?†asked the Bird.
“«The boy stood on the burning deck’? I
know that best. Then there’s ‘Mark Antony,’
you know, and ‘Curfew,’ and ‘ Betsy and I.’
Shall I give you them all? Id much rather
sing, though. Shall I give you ‘Sweet
Marie’ ?â€
‘Not if it’s like what you were singing just
now,†said the Monkey. ‘What did you say
its name was—‘ Roc me to sleep,’ eh?â€
‘Nothing of the kind,†answered the Bird
indignantly. ‘It’s a composition of my own,
and it’s called ‘Comatose Hypnostatics.’ â€
“You don’t mean to say so, veally now!†ex-
claimed the Monkey. ‘“ Are there words to it?â€
“ Of course there are,†said the Bird. ‘‘ Just
you listen.†And then he began to sing in the
same strange key:
“Oom maint padh mi oom!
Sleep in the surges’ boom:
Sleep in the dungeon’s gloom :
Sleep in the darkened room:
Sleep in the inmost tomb :
Sleep in the ages’ loom !
Oom mani padh mi oom 1â€
go THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
and by the time he had got that far, Pro-
fessor Entellus Hanuman Semnopithecus had
curled himself up into a complicated tangle
with his chain, and gone fast asleep too. Then
the bird hovered quietly down, bit the chain off
close by the pole, picked up the monkey in his
beak, and flew off with him in the direction
whence he had come.
Hence the excitement and puzzlement in
Dreamland: for not one of the sleepers, from
the King down to the humblest bee, had
suspected that their sleep had been anything
but natural repose, or could recall any remem-
brance of the strange song of the Roc. The
only odd thing, besides the monkey’s disappear-
ance, was the unusual stiffness every owl in the
place felt about the neck, which, however, was
ascribed to rheumatics. As for Mick, he not only
took to heart the slight he thought Hanuman
had put upon him, but felt also as if he himself
were somewhat to blame for his friend’s dis-
appearance, though, indeed, King Longbeard
had in no way made him responsible for his safe
custody ; and so, though every one else soon for-
got about the occurrence, he went about for some
weeks looking the very picture of unhappiness.
One evening, as he was coming home from
his work, he was surprised to see a handsome
‘
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 93
stork walking towards him with a dignified air,
carrying a paper in his beak. The bird came
straight to meet him, and held out the paper,
as though he wished him to take it. Mick did
so, saying as he unfolded it, ‘‘Arrah! what's
this now? I hope ’tis not his bill this quadhru-
ped’s sarvin’ me wud.â€
“Certainly not,†replied the Stork. “I prefer
to keep my bill for my own use. But I think
ou will find that rather an important letter.â€
“‘ That’s accordin’ to what does be in it,†said
Mick ; and then he read as follows:
“Dear MICHAEL,
This comes hopping to find you well as it
leaves me in good helth and spirrits, being miserably tied up
in the dark end of a rabit hole which is worse than a pole and
kenel in dreemland and I wish I was back agen, and woudl be
thankfull if you come and reskew me which I have kindly toled
94 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
i
the barer to show you the way as nose it well all here joins in
affekshnt rembrances to all enquring frends for I ham very
retchid hopeing you are the same I am your afecshonet frend
‘*ProressoR ENTELLUS HANUMAN
SEMNOPITHECUS, A.P.E.
(he rote this hisself.)
“PS, I did for that old rock.
“P.S. secondly. He wants me to say this is Dick tated to
a ignorent rabet which he tawt me his own self and pleas
escuse bad riting yours truly, Frisky.â€
“ Hurroo!†exclaimed Mick; “here’s luck!
How did ye come acrass his Riverence, honey?â€
he said to the Stork.
“Well,†said the Bird, “it was this way.
The other day, I went for a walk, when, turning
down an alley among the trees, I passed in
front of a little house, in one of whose windows
a placard with ‘To Ler’ had been up for a
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 95
long time. To my surprise, this had been
taken down, and I thought I heard sounds of
life‘within. I’m not what you'd call inquisitive,
you know, but for all that, I put my ear to the
keyhole of the front door, and heard a sort of ©
low, hasty muttering. Some creature was
saying to itself, hurriedly, ‘Lay the table!
Yes, I must lay the table. Tea!—that’s a
noun, common—singular? Very singular!
Masculine gender? Yes—that’s a conjunc-
tional sentence—“ lay the table azd the tea will
appear.†Verb, transitive? No, you can’t make
the tea appear anything. Yes, you can! It
appears too long drawn.’
“My curiosity was so excited, that I knocked
at the door.
“© A knock!’ said the voice inside. ‘Knock
—adjective, demonstrative—noun, common,
plural, feminine—I can’t wait. A sound
of busy, pattering feet followed ; and a rabbit,
dressed in a short coat, opened the door.
“*T beg your pardon,’ I said; ‘but may I
ask who you are?’
“«Nonsense!’ he replied; ‘you can’t ave
anybody, can you, stupid head? It can’t be
transitive.’
“<¢T never said it was,’ said I, rather taken
aback.
96 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
“«Then come in,’ said he. ‘/z’s a preposi-
tion, you know. But if you come into my
house, you must come into the sentence, too, I
suppose.
‘““*«What have you been sentenced for?†I
asked, feeling rather puzzled.
“*Tve not been sentenced for anything,’
replied the rabbit, ‘but only put into ana-
lysis.’
eel I think I understand,’ said I. ‘ You live
in a sort of sentence, to be pa and ana-
lysed.’
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 97
uVes, he said; “lm 4 word in pars-
eae Rabbit ’’—noun, common, neuter gen-
er. :
“YT beg your pardon,’ said I; ‘but isn’t it
masculine ?’
«So much for your good grammar!’ said
my host. ‘I have different parts——
‘“* Of speech ?’ said I.
“*No, of course not. Of vabdz¢—nose—
verb, transitive, active, very active, quite lively
in fact!’
“« Are you gutte sure it’s transitive >’ said I,
feeling just a little dazed.
““*Ves, Tam,’ he replied, indignantly. ‘Can't
you nose something? I’m sure the Professor
knows a lot.’
““* What Professor?’ said I.
“*Vou shouldn't say “what,â€â€™ said the Rabbit;
‘you should say “who.†He’s not feminine, you
know.’
“¢ Well, who on earth is he?’ said I...
“«Wrong again!’ exclaimed my host tri-
umphantly. ‘He’s not on earth, but down at
the bottom of my deepest burrow.’
“¢ And pray, what may he be doing there?’
I asked.
“*Doing? Adjective, imperative mood; as
“sitting, standing, teaching, reading, writing
G
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} DONGHOE
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W. G. DONALD DeNGKOE
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(Bees) THEKGOL DEN 3.
jounes | S23 DREAMIAND |
: | OOK Of FOI Y lates, WHIT Bi
Mh nopcre (ico by BARRINGTON-
| @ASHEAD § MACGREGOR a/ g
LONDON | CHARLES
: eS ie SSS
AND Ss Oa Gy:
Copyright 1897
By Joun Lane
AR rights veserved
To Her Royal Highness
VICTORIA MARY, DUCHESS OF YORK,
to whom this book, by her. gracious permission,
is gratefully dedicated.
THIS IS A DAY OF GREAT EVENT
ov IN -THE. GOLDEN LAND OF DREAMS;
FOR THE KING HAS LAID DOWN HIS SCEPTRE AND CROWN
BY THE BRIDGE OF THE RAINBOW BEAMS; :
24864
AND DOWN HE IS COME TO THE WORLD BELOW
TO WALK AMONG MORTAL WIGHTS,
LIKE THE CALIPH OF OLD OF WHOM WE ARE TOLD
IN THE “BOOK OF ARABIAN NIGHTS:
AND DOWN IN THE WORLD HE HAS SOUGHT, AND FOUND
‘IN THE SOVEREIGN ISLES OF THE SEA,
A PRINCESS RARE, WITH A CHILD SO FAIR, :
‘THAT OF DREAMLAND THEY BOTH MIGHT BE,
THE CHILD HE SITS BY A BALANCE THAT WEIGHS
AS THOSE OF THE DREAMLAND WEIGH,
FOR THE SCALE COMES DOWN TO OUTBALANCE THE CROWN
WITH THE TOYS OF THE BRIGHT TO-DAY.
HE SEES THEM ALL IN THE WONDROUS LIGHT
THAT SHINES FROM THE DREAMLAND FAR,
AND IT MAKES THEM SEEM WHAT HIS HEART WOULD DEEM,
INSTEAD. OF JUST WHAT THEY ARE.
AND THE KING OF THE DREAMLAND WATCHES HIM PLAY,
AS WHEN HE WAS A DREAMLAND ELF,
AND HE LAUGHS FOR JOY IN THE GLEE OF THE BOY
AS HE STILL WERE A CHILD HIMSELF.
THEN HE LOOKs FROM THE CHILD TO THE MOTHER’S FACE
THAT IS LIT WITH A TENDER LOVE. ;
““NOW HERE,†QUOTH THE KING, “IS THE PLACE TO BRING
““THE TALES OF MY COURT ABOVE. .
‘“FOR HERE, IN THE HEART OF THE UNDERWORLD,
“Is THE HOPE OF THE NOBLEST RACE
‘““THAT EVER MIGHT STAND ON ITS CHOICEST LAND,
‘OR SAIL ON ITS OCEAN’S FACE!†:
SO BACK HAS HE NOW TO THE DREAMLAND FLOWN;
AND SITS IN THE DREAMLAND HALLS,
AND THERE FOR. THE, SCRIBES OF THE. ELFIN TRIBES,
THAT WRITE FOR THE COURT, HE CALLS.
HE BIDS THEM SIT DOWN AND WRITE WITH SPEED
THE TALES OF THE DREAMLAND BRIGHT;
THEN DOWN THROUGH THE AIR TO THE PRINCESS RARE
DESCEND WITH THE PAGES WHITE.
AND HE BIDS THEM SAY TO THE PRINCESS RARE:
WHAT HE SAYS TO ONE AND ALL—
THAT HE WHO WOULD RISE TO OUTWIT THE WISE
AT THE CHILDREN’S FEET MUST FALL;
FOR THEIRS IS THE LIGHT OF THE DREAMLAND TRUE,
AND THE WISDOM UNDEFILED;
AND THE WORLD AT ITS BEST SHALL BE LED TO ITS PRESET,
BY THE HAND OF A LITTLE CHILD.
BORRINGLON, MACGREGOR.
DRUMI0CHTY,
December 1897.
[Nora Preface)
Ny ie es
Ue :
A Book of Fairy Tales needs no Preface: so this is
not one.
I merely wish to acknowledge the help I have been
given by some of the Dreamland Princesses, who not
only took some of the stories down from dictation (and
that not like “‘ignorent rabetsâ€), but also made me
fair, if not fairy, copies of the same. And especially
to the “* Princess Elsie,†who supplied me herself with a
great part of “The Abduction of the Professor.â€
BARRINGION MACGREGOR
Drumtochty, 1897
CHAP.
. How King Longbeard came by his Name
Il.
III.
Iv.
VI.
VI.
VIIL.
IX.
xI.
x
i
~
The Spotted Mimulus
The Birthday Crown
The Conceited Monkey
. The Abduction of the Professor
The Dandelion Clock
The Fairies’ Surprise
All about a Snowflake
The Horoscope
. The Raid of the Airland Princes
At the Gate of Dreamland
. Through the Battledore
ee
29
45
61
83
109
131
15Â¥
165
1g
217
233
by his Name
AREAMLAND is where the baby
flowers are born. No one, except
1 those who live there, knows exactly
where it is; but every one knows
it is a land of golden beauty. In
its centre is a valley, surrounded
i by lofty mountains, through which
runs a river of liquid silver, as transparent as
crystal. This river comes into the valley out
16 HOW KING LONGBEARD
of a cavern in the side of one of the mountains,
and nothing wicked can swim in it: and that
is well, for though almost all the inhabitants
of Dreamland themselves are lovely and good,
still a few of them turn out badly at times;
and they have some unpleasant neighbours—
wild beasts that live in the forests on the moun-
tain-tops, and occasionally strange birds and
other creatures, that find their way thither from
the wilds of Nightmaria, which is not very far
off. King Longbeard’s Castle stands close by
the cavern, at the foot of a precipice, and the
silvery water washes its walls. And King Long-
beard is King of all that country.
In the winter, when the snowflakes come
softly floating down through the air, you need
not believe any of the tales that people tell to
account for them. Nurses talk about “ pluck-
ing geese in fairyland,’ and wise men about
“refrigeration †and “crystallisation,†and such
ugly words ; but, all the while, it is just King
Longbeard driving the cold away from the
baby flowers. And in summer, when you find
the sun shining too fiercely, it is because
King Longbeard will not allow it to shine
so in the golden land of dreams, for fear
the ‘baby flowers should be scorched. They
are so tender, and have'to be taken’ such ‘con-
CAME BY HIS NAME “LP
tinual care of! All day long, and all through
the night, they lie in the most exquisite little
cradles, or hammocks, made of a substance
called dream-silk, which is spun by magnificent.
diamond spiders, specially kept for the purpose.
Each baby flower has a nurse to look after it,
in the form of a large bee, whose body is ofa
B
18 HOW KING LONGBEARD
rich turquoise blue, banded with blue of a
darker shade; and these lovely bees sing to
their charges, and feed them with honey, till
the time comes for each to be carried off by
the fairies to some garden down here. And
‘that is why the flowers have honey, and why
they laugh so when our bees, who know
nothing about Dreamland, come and ask them
to give it back again: which, however, they
always do.
Longbeard is a strange name for the King,
whose face is nearly as smooth as your own:
but still it is a very appropriate one, seem-
ingly, when one knows why it was given to
him. :
It happened in this way. There were three
baby flowers hanging in their cradles near each
other in the Castle garden. Two of them were
good and lovely; one of a deep blue, the other
of a pale yellow—but I need not describe them,
for you know them well, one being a blue-bell
and the other a primrose. And the third flower, —
which was a dandelion, was jealous of the
other two, because they were not only beautiful,
but were also favourites of King Longbeard’s
children. And one day he heard them talking
together, and Primrose said to Blue-bell, “How
did you come here?â€
CAME BY HIS NAME 19
And Blue-bell answered, ‘“‘My mother dropped
me in a little seed on the ground below, and a
fairy picked me up and carried me hither.â€
‘““That’s exactly how I came here myself,â€
said Primrose. .
But when Dandelion heard them say this he
laughed rudely, and said, ‘Then I must be of
far greater importance than either of you, for I
came flying through the air in a bright fairy
chariot, with a great star of dream-silk shining
over me.
But Blue-bell and Primrose took no notice
of his conceited talk. So Dandelion grew very
angry, and lay back in his cradle, shaking with
rage, and thinking of all kinds of plans for
being revenged on them for what he considered
an insult. And the next night, when all the
other baby flowers were fast asleep, and their
blue bees humming drowsy songs over them,
there came along a fierce tiger-wasp, from a
nest on the border of the mountain forest,
where he had fed on poppy, and aconite, and
20 HOW KING LONGBEARD
black hellebore, and all kinds of poisonous
plants. And, as he flew by, the Dandelion
called him, and said, ‘“ Hullo! Tiger-wasp, I
want you to help me.â€
~ “Oh! is that you? What’s-o’clock?†said
the Wasp.
“Ves,†said the Dandelion. “I’m glad you've
happened to pass just now, as I want you to do
something for me.â€
“Anything you like in the way of mischief,
old Rabbit-meat,†replied the Wasp. “ What
is it?â€
~“T wish you wouldn't call names,†said the
Dandelion; ‘‘but, all the same, I want you
to get rid of that conceited pair, Blue-bell
and Primrose. You might do it by stinging
their blue bees—not enough to kill them,
you know, but just so as to poison their
MONEY:
“T couldn’t undertake a pleasanter job,†said
the Wasp.
'. Now ‘the Tiger-wasp was on his way home =
‘from doing terrible mischief, for he had, out of
mere wanton cruelty, gone that night to the
snowdrop’s cradle and stung its blue bee to
death. And that is the reason why the snow-
- drops come out so early now: they are looking
for the bees; but they never find them, and so
CAME BY HIS NAME 21
they always stand hanging down their heads
sadly. And now the cruel insect was glad to
find some more harm ready to his hand, or
rather to his sting; and so he prepared to
attack the bees who nursed the flowers Dan-
delion hated so, and grew so excited at the
prospect that his sharp buzzing sounded like
some threatening song.
If he had been able to keep quiet, he might
have effected his purpose; but both Primrose
and Blue-bell heard him, and, even in their
sleep, cried out so loudly that King Longbeard
heard them in his Castle, and, rising hastily,
came out to see what was the matter with his
baby flowers. And, just as he reached the
bed where they were, he too heard the shrill
buzzing, and saw the Tiger-wasp flying off in
the moonlight. When he saw him, he knew
there was some mischief abroad; and so, after
seeing that the flowers were safe, and their
bees unhurt and at their posts, he called his
22 HOW KING LONGBEARD
nightingale, that sings all night when the
flowers are happy, and said, “ Night-singer
mine, fly before me, and show me _ the
way to where the queen of the tiger-wasps
‘ dwells.â€
_ _ So the bird flew before him, and led the way
through the garden, and up the hill-side, to
the edge of the great forest. As they drew
near, several wild animals rushed out of the
jungle, as if to attack the King: but when they
saw him, and recognised who he ‘was,. they
turned tail and fled back again. After a long
and difficult climb the King came at length to
the wasp’s nest, and then he fearlessly plunged
his hand right into the centre and drew the
wasp-queen out; and when he did so, all the
other wasps in the land came flying to protect
her. The King then turned to descend the
mountain, and as he had at times to use both
his hands in climbing down he placed the
insect on his chin; and all her subjects swarmed _
about her, until they hung like a long, golden-
brown beard, reaching nearly to the ground.
So he came down, until he arrived at the bank
of the river of silver, where he knelt, and bent
. over till the water touched his face. And then
all the wicked wasps were washed away to be
drowned.
CAME BY HIS NAME ois
- But the Tiger-wasp who had helped Dande-
lion in his conspiracy called out as the stream
was carrying him away, “Oh, King! King! if
you'll spare me just this once, I will bring you
to the real mischief-maker.â€
If the King had known what he had done to
the snowdrop’s blue bee I don’t think he would
have listened to him, but, as it was, he desired
his nightingale to fly down and pick the miser-
able insect out of the water. The bird did
so at once, and then the wasp brought the
King straight to where his fellow-conspirator
lay.
When the Dandelion saw the King he fell
into great terror, and cried out for mercy.
Then the King, in the great kindness of his
heart, pitied and forgave him. “ But,†he said,
“you must both of you—Dandelion and Tiger-
wasp—go away into the great world below,
where people will hate you as much as they
will love your intended victims, Primrose and
Blue-bell.â€
Then the Dandelion and the Wasp went;
but they both despised the King’s clemency,
and became even more jealous than ever—so
much so that each of them turned bright yellow
for ever andaday. And the King, though he
had been very badly stung, yet did not mind
26 KING LONGBEARD’S NAME
the pain, because he had saved the baby flowers
that he loved so well. And this is how he, in
spite of his smooth face, came to be called
“ King Longbeard.â€
ne beard
lo re
ae :
The Spotted Mimulus
ZAHEN the mimulus, long ago, slept
4] in his cradle in the golden Dream-
land, he was not spotted with
yellow and red, as he is now, but
was all of one rich madder-brown
AN colour, that had a depth in it such
eer as you may see in the eyes of a
faithful dog. His cradle was near King Long-
beard’s river of silver; so near that he could
look over into the water, and see the splendid
30 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
red and gold fishes darting through it at their
play. Sometimes one of them would rise to the
surface and suck in one of the gauze-winged
flies, that were tempted to float there by the re-
flection of the sky they loved ; and the mimulus,
at such times, felt sorry for the fly. But he
was very curious to know how the fishes lived ‘
down there in the silver stream, where they
could have no blue bees to hover over them, and
sing them to sleep, and feed them with honey;
and, what was worse, no air to breathe.
You would not think the mimulus knew
much about breathing, but he did. And he
knew as little about fishes as you know about
him, for fishes all have plenty of air to breathe ;
air that they find in the water that runs through
their gills. And the flowers breathe, too, through
hundreds and thousands of tiny mouths, each
just big enough for a fairy to kiss; which shows
how small some fairies are.
And one summer evening —though why I
should say summer I don’t know, for it is
always summer in Dreamland—one evening
one of the fish missed the fly it rose after, and
the mimulus heard it say, “ Just my luck!†in |
such a disappointed tone, that he felt more sorry
for it than he would have done for the fly if
it had ‘been caught. In Dreamland they can
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 31
all talk to each other, and every flower speaks
through its thousand tiny mouths at once, and
that is why their voices are so utterly sweet—
like the Hallelujah Chorus in a whisper.
So, as the mimulus could speak, he leant over
the edge of his cradle, and said to the fish,
“Do you always miss the flies like that ?â€
The fish was rather surprised to hear himself
addressed by the baby flower; but he answered,
speaking in the language of flowers, “ No, I
hardly ever miss them. But I am not at all
myself this evening.â€
_ “Who are you, then?†asked the Mimulus,
a little puzzled.
“It’s not quite as easy to understand as it
might be,†replied the Fish ; “‘ but it means that
I’m quite different, without being anybody else,
you know—at least, not ye?.â€
“I’m sure that’s not any simpler,†said the
Mimulus.
“It's as simple as ever Ican make it,†said
the Fish. ‘You see, this is a very sad evening
for me. It is my last in this beautiful river of
silver, and the thought of that upsets me so,
that I can’t even catch flies as I usually do.â€
“Why,†said the Mimulus, “what are they
going to do with you?â€
“‘T don’t know what they will do wthout
~-
32 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
me,†said the Fish; ‘but I have had notice that
to-morrow I’'must go down below, and become a
trout. That will be more different than ever.â€
“A trout!†exclaimed the Mimulus ; “ pray,
what is that?â€
“I’m sure I don’t exactly know,†replied the
Fish; “ but it appears to be something spotted.â€
But the mimulus lay back in his cradle
and thought, “ How stupid of that fish to be
sorry that he is going to see the great world
down below! I wish I were going down to-
morrow. I wish I were going to be something
spotted.†And presently his blue bee came to
feed him, and he refused to take his honey ;
and when the bee asked what was the matter he
only answered, “I want to be spotted.†And
this puzzled the good bee so that it had to sit
down on the edge of the cradle and comb its
fur with the comb all bees carry, for five
minutes and forty-five seconds.
And meanwhile a great moth, in a buff over-
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 33
coat, came crawling up one of the golden rods
that the cradle hung on and said, “Hullo!
what’s the matter?â€
And the Mimulus said, “I want to be
spotted |â€
“Like me?†said the Moth, and it threw
open its overcoat, showing itself all speckled
with brown and gold; and then it gave a great
laugh and flew away into the night. !
And when the sun rose next morning the
mimulus found that the moth had shaken off
hundreds of its feathers over and about the
cradle, every one of them shaped like a little
spade or trowel, and the fairies had been
amusing themselves by gathering them up and
sticking them in patterns over his own red-
brown coat. And when he saw that he cried
out for joy, ‘I’m spotted! I’m spotted!†so
loudly that King Longbeard, who had been
sitting up all night nursing a sick violet, was
quite annoyed by the disturbance. O2GOM
It was against all the rules and regulations
of the nursery-garden for a flower to show any
sort of unbecoming excitement. And so the
King called for his robin-redbreast, who always
takes the first solo at his Morning Concerts,
and. said, “‘ Robin. mine, what flower: is that,
making such a noise ?†idea? uoy iled lew
Cc
34 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
And the Robin answered, “ Please, your
Majesty, I think it is the Mimulus i in the cradle
nearest the river.†.
So the King said, _ Hy. away, heag and tell
him to be quiet.â€
Away the robin flew, and gave the King’s
order, but the silly mimulus only grew more
and more excited and noisy; and so the King,
finding that nothing else could be done with
him, had him taken out of his cradle and given
to one of the fairy-guards, who took him off,
without his breakfast, to the lower world, and
handed him over to the gardeners.
Of course, people who think themselves wise,
will tell you that it is all nonsense about the
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 35
1 N
oo Mase DP
flowers coming from a Dreamland above the Sky,
and that all flowers worth having are grown by
gardeners here from seeds or cuttings. But if
36 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
you want to be really happy, you must not
listen to such overwise people. Gardeners are
the baby-flowers’ ogres. When King Long-
beard turned the wicked dandelion out of
Dreamland, a gardener got hold of him; and
this gardener and another ogre, called a botanist,
decided that he was quite too vulgar even for a
ribbon-garden. So they took him and pressed
him flat between the leaves of a book, and wrote
over him these two awful words—
“TEONTODON TARAXACUM,â€
and after that the doctors got him, and that was
the end. I am sure that if the mimulus had
known that, he would have been more careful.
‘When the mimulus first found himself shut
up ina garden, he felt more glad than sorry,
because he had had no breakfast ; any flower
that has to be sent down before breakfast being
too weak to go anywhere alone. The gardeners
fed him, at least; though what they gave him
was very different from what he had been used
to, and though he might remain in the garden
for years, and years, and years, he never could
forget his dear blue bee, and the honey it used
to feed him on. In the winter they put him
into a gaudy red earthen pot, which he hated,
‘because it did not suit his, complexion; but in
ee
+
Mi
4
ca
H
|
y 6
XY fo
‘THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 39
the summer they set him out in a bed, which he
liked better, though it was not at all like his
own old cradle of dream-silk. And; on the
whole, he began to grow reconciled to the life,
and became quite hardy and strong. But one
day an awful thing happened. One of the gar-
dener-ogres came and looked at him, and shook
his head, and said in a gruff voice, “ There’ s too
muckle o’ this mimulus here, whatever.†And
then he tore the poor plant out of his bed, and
sent him flying right over the wall of the garden,
where he fell down all limp and helpless, and
grew weaker and fainter, and weaker and ,
until at last he knew nothing.
- Now close by where he fell there pasued a
beautiful little river, that ran down, night and
day, to keep the sea from forgetting the moun-
tains: and this river belonged to a water-fairy
named Bervie.. They have called a town after
her now—but that’s neither here nor there, but
in Kincardineshire, and so we'll leave it there.
Well, this fairy was going along her river bank,
as she did every day, and she came past the
wall of the garden just as the mimulus fell
fainting outside it; and being a good fairy—
though I need not tell you that, for have I not
said she was a water-fairy >—she flew to aid
him. And so the first thing the mimulus be-
40 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
came conscious of was, that he was planted in a
rich, soft, red-brown earth, nearly of his own
birth-given colour: and through it there came
tiny threads of bright, clear water, almost like
the silver water of Dreamland, full of life for
his thirsty roots. And over his head there was
a lovely bower of golden broom, that was full
of the humming of bees, deep and true as the
singing of a Gospel; and it reminded him. of
his dream-silk cradle: and as he wondered and
gazed, he heard sounds of the music that only
those that are loved of the fairies hear. -
And then, dancing, dancing down from the
sky where King Longbeard lives, came a troop
of the gauze-winged flies who wear. brown
jackets in March, and shine in rainbow and
scarlet through summer. An awful Philistine
caught one once, and called it a Detached
Badger ; and so his name is written down in the
blackest of all Black Books: but other folk call
them Red Spinners. So these flies came—(you
can only imitate them with a body of alternate
music and singing, two strands of a phoenix
feather for tail, hackles from the Simorg of Kaf,
and wings of woven dream-silk—and of that
only the shot-sz/k will do)—they came dancing
down to welcome the mimulus. But one of
them came just the least little bit too far, and
THE SPOTTED MIMULUS 41
touched the water with the tip of one of its
wings; and then up from the depths of the
stream there came a flash of silver and brown,
and on the surface appeared a magic ring that
“By wide spreading did increase to nought.â€
And out of the centre of the ring, as the fly
darted upwards again, there came a small and
dejected voice, that said, ‘Just my luck!â€
When the mimulus heard that, he nearly
jumped out of his. new bed. Because, whether
you are a Scotsman or a Maori, when you are
at the other side of nowhere, the sound of a
voice that you know comes like an arrow
feathered with the plumes that grow nearest the
heart of a stork. Fora stork is the very para-
gon of home birds, and the nearest thing toa
Dutchman. And when the mimulus heard the
voice, he knew it came from his old neighbour,
the fish that had gone below to be a trout ; and
the sound of it did him as much good as all -
the fairy’s kindness ; and so he called out, just |
as he had done in Dreamland, that memorable
evening before his banishment, “ Do you always
miss the flies like that?†»
When the trout, in his turn, heard him speak,
he recognised his voice at once; and so he
flashed up again from the bottom of the river,
42 THE SPOTTED MIMULUS
so fast that he flew out into the air, where he
had just time to catch sight of the mimulus.
And as he fell back into the water again he
shouted out, ‘‘ Why, he’s as spotty as I am!
What a guy!†And then away he dashed
down the stream like a shooting-star. But this
made the mimulus very angry; for, as every
angler can tell you, it’s not a pleasant thing to
be laughed at by a trout. And so he called the
wind-elves that made ripples on the water’s face,
and asked them to help to find him; and the
wind-elves came and asked which way the trout
had gone. :
“ Down towards the sea,†said the Mimulus.
“Then,†said the Wind-elves, “we and the »
river will take you downwards to look for him.
But remember, if once you come down, you can
never go back again; and you will never see
Kerloch, or feel the mountain-joy.â€.
All this happened long, long ago. But, if
you go down by Bervie Water on a fine summer
day you may still see the trouts dashing up and
down through the pools, and the foolish mimulus
standing with its feet in the edge of the stream,
anywhere between the sea and the place where
the garden was, looking for its old acquaintance
_ from King Longbeard’s Dreamland. —
The Birthday Crown
JHE walls of King Longbeard’s
Castle rose up out of the very
waters of that beautiful river of
silver of which we have heard so
much. The Castle had an inner
and an outer court, and if you
= passed out by the great gate of
the latter, you would come at once upon perhaps
the most wonderful bridge that ever was built,
and certainly the most beautiful; for though
the -great Forth and Brooklyn Bridges are
very wonderful indeed, they are built of iron,
and are very ugly besides; and though there
are great and beautiful bridges of stone in
46 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
Germany and Austria, they are none of them to
be compared with this bridge, built of mag-
nificent rainbows. It led from the Castle
gate into the King’s gardens, where the baby
. flowers were nursed.
The King had a tiny daughter, whom he
loved beyond almost everything else in Dream-
land. He loved the wild flowers and the blue
bees that took care of them, and the birds that
sang in the woods. He loved his people, and
all his sons and daughters, of whom he had a
great many; but, next to the Queen, he loved
the Princess Monica best. And when her
birthday came round he called for all the fairies
of Dreamland, and told them to build her a
summer-house in the garden. Down here we
build our houses of timber, and wood, and
stone; but this house was built of fairy stories,
with windows of poems instead of glass. And
as the fairies built, all the birds:came and sang
to them ; and the blue bees took turns to leave
their charges and see how the work went on;
and even the fishes in the river of silver popped
up their heads out of the water, and cried, ‘‘ We.
wish we could build like that!â€
Seventy times that day the Princess Monica
danced in and out, over the rainbow bridge, to-
see the fairies at work, with her birthday crown
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 47
on her head. Every year she had a new
crown, more lovely than you can imagine, for
it was made up of all the kind deeds she had
done, and all the sweet words she had spoken
during the past three hundred and sixty-five
days. But the séventieth time she crossed the
bridge was just as the fishes cried out; and it
made her laugh so much that she shook the
crown from her head and it fell into the water,
where it sank out of sight. Back she ran
into the Castle, and told her father what had
happened.
Oh, papa!†she said; “do you know ?—
the little fisses have shouted my ce, crown
off!â€
_ ‘What do ie mean, darling?†asked her
father.
oie mean; they wanted to build houses for
their own selves, and so they shouted, and it
was so funny! I didn't know fisses could
shout.â€
Didn't: you, » my pet?†said: her father.
48 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
“But what about the crown? You haven't
lost it, surely?â€
“T fink it losted itself. Cos, you know,
when the fisses shouted, I Zad just to jump
and dance to let all my laughs out: and then it
just tumbled off, and rolled into the water. I
fink the little fisses ought to. be very hapPYs
playing with it.â€
“But, my ’Possum,†said the King, “ that
will never do. It is much too valuable for
fishes to have for a plaything. Come along
with me, and we will see what can be done to
get it back for you.â€
So he took her hand, and they both went out
and stood on the bridge, and the King called
for his trumpeter-gnat, and said to him, “Herald
mine, fly down to the silver water and make
proclamation to the fishes that whoever finds
the Princess’s crown shall be given the three
things he wishes for most.â€
When the fishes heard the gnat’s message
i
Pee
; :
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 51
they were all greatly excited. But though they
swam up and down, and searched in every
place they knew, they could not find the crown,
for the river ran so fast and strong that it had
Swept it away for miles. Down it had gone,
past the nursery-garden, past the fields where
the grass grows that makes hay for the horses
of the sun, and so it was borne into the whirling
rapids, and at last into the depths of the slumber-
pool, where it lay at the bottom.
Up and down the river swam the fishes of
crimson and gold; but none of them dared ven-
ture into the whirling rapids, and so they all
came sadly back. But among them theré was
one little fish, whose coat was all of a dull
brown, without so much as a crimson spot or a
silver scale; and when he saw the rest come
back, he said, “ Perhaps I could find the crown.
I am so small, and my coat is so dull, that
nobody cares for me; and if I am dashed to
pieces in the rapids, it will not matter to any one.â€
The crimson and gold fishes laughed when they
heard him say this; but he only laughed back
again, and set off down the river. As he went
along he heard a noise above him, and looking
up, he saw something struggling on top of the
water. He thought it might be a fly that was
good to eat, and so he shot up to see; but when
he got there, he found it was one of the blue
bees that had fallen in and was drowning. So
he lifted the bee gently on his back and swam
with it to the bank, where he landed it safely.
“Little brown fish,†said the Bee, “I thank
you for saving my life: and tell me now what I
can do for you in return?â€
“Oh,†said the Fish, “help me to find the
Princess Monica’s crown.â€
“That will not be hard to do,†said the Bee.
“ All that it needs is a brave heart. The crown
lies at the bottom of the slumber-pool ; and if
you make your way down there, I will come and
_ help you.â€
“ But how shall I pass the whirling rapids
and the falls in safety?†said the Fish.
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 53
“ Hold your breath, keep your tail quiet, and
let yourself go,†said the Bee, “and leave -the
rest to me.†‘And then away he flew.
So then the little brown fish swam on down
the river; and when he came to the whirling
waters he shut his gills tight, and stiffened his
tail, and wondered what would come next. The
rapids took him and dashed him about, and
bruised him sorely on the rocks, so that when
at last he was swept over the falls into the
slumber-pool he was quite senseless, and floated
up on his back to the top of the water as if he
were dead.
But the blue bee was there before him, hover-
ing over the pool; and when it saw him come
to the top it dropped a drop of its honey into
his open mouth, and then all his life and
strength came back, so that he danced through
the water with joy. And then, at the bottom,
perfect and unbroken, he saw the object of his
search—the Princess Monica’s beautiful birth-
day crown. So he dived down; and now the
honey had made him so strong that, small as
he was, he carried the crown to the top with
ease. But how to get it up the falls, and back
to the castle—that was the question. .
- But the blue bee was there, and it was not
alone. With it were twenty splendid dragon-
54 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
flies, radiant in armour of green and gold, and
each bore in its mouth one of the diamond Spi-
ders that King Longbeard keeps to spin the
dream-silk for the tiny cradles. And they came
down round the crown in a fairy ring, and every
spider laid hold of a point of the crown with a
thread of dream-silk, and when the blue bee
counted “ One, two, three!†away the dragon-
flies flew with the crown into the air, and hung
with it quivering over the crest of the falls.
“Alas, poor me!†said the little brown fish ;
“the crown is gone, and I shall never get home
again! Blue bee, blue bee, come and help
me!†The bee had not gone far off, but only
to one of the lower pools; and at once it came
back, and beneath it, rushing through the water,
came Salmo Salar, king of all the fishes that
swim.
The little fish was terribly frightened when it
saw him coming; but the bee flew down to him
and said, “Be brave, little fish. The salmon
is a friend of mine, and has come to your aid;
and so, when he opens his mouth, swim fear-
lessly in.†The little fish did so; and then the
salmon put forth all his magnificent strength,
and, with one mighty spring, leaped to the top
of the falls, and darted up through the whirling
rapids to the smooth-flowing water above.
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 55
Then he opened his mouth, and the little brown
fish swam out, and was astonished at the sight
that he saw. For all the red and gold fish had
come down to meet him and escort him back;
and up in the air above the blue bee had
arranged a triumphal procession. First went
King Longbeard’s own trumpeter-gnat to herald
their coming ; next came a band of the sweetest
singing-birds that could be found in all Dream-
land; then, in the midst of a perfect cloud of
fairies, came the twenty dragon-flies with their
diamond spiders, bearing the rescued crown ;
and after them came, two and two, all the blue
bees that could be spared from duty, with the
little fish’s friend and helper bringing up the
rear.
_ When they arrived at the Castle, the King
and Queen, with all their children and all their
Court, were standing out on the rainbow bridge
to receive them; and King Longbeard took the
crown from its bearers and replaced it tenderly
on the Princess Monica’s head. Then he and
56 THE BIRTHDAY CROWN
she went down to the side of the water, and the
king called out, “ Little brown fish, come and
receive your reward.†So the little brown fish
swam up to the bank.
“Now,†said the King, “name your three
wishes.â€
“ First,†said the Fish, “I would like to be as
brave as you are.â€
“You are brave already,†said the King, “ but
you shall be the bravest of all the fishes.â€
‘“Then,†said the Fish, ‘“‘ I would like to be as
kind-hearted as the Princess Monica.â€
“You are kind-hearted already,†said the
King, “but you shall be more loving than all
the other fishes.â€
“And then,†said the Fish, ‘‘ I would like to
be able to build a house.â€
When he said that, a sparrow in the band
laughed so rudely that King Longbeard looked
at him with anger, and then all his golden
feathers fell off, and he lost his voice, and was
sent down below, where he felt so mean that he
never said anything but—‘ Cheap! cheap!†to
the end of his days.
But the King said to the little brown fish,
“You shall build houses—beautiful houses,
such as none of the other fishes will be able to
build; and, more than that, you shall be the
THE BIRTHDAY CROWN 57
most beautiful fish that swims in the northern
rivers. You shall be clothed with an armour
of gold, such as the sparrow has lost, and from
each of your scales shall shine all the seven
colours of my rainbow bridge; and your heart
shall be filled with love for your wifeand young
ones, and the fins of your back shall rise into
swords to drive away all who would hurt them.â€
And all this latter part of my story has come
veally tyvue. For when the turn of the little fish
came to leave the river of silver, and come down
into the lower world, it did not become a trout,
like most of its more pretentious companions,
but a stickleback. And to this day it is unap-
proachable in its rainbow beauty, and we can do
nothing but wonder at its nest-building powers,
and the courage and devotion it shows in de-
fending its family against all intruders.
The Conccicd Monkey
SSyen GH up on the hills that shut in
SOX ‘PM the valley of Dreamland, is a wild
and extensive forest, which (as I
have already told you) is infested
by wild beasts of all kinds, some
of which, now and then, come
= down into the lower-lying country,
and try to make trouble for the peaceful
folk who live there. The monkeys are the
62 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
most forward and annoying of all. Each of
them thinks all monkeys wiser than the rest
of the world, and himself the wisest monkey of
the lot—as, indeed, he certainly is. They are
not generous enough to give all the trouble
away-to their neighbours : no, they keep plenty
of it to use among themselves. And they can-
not be complimented on living happily together,
since the wisest monkey is always on the look-
out to cheat and get the better of the others.
This is a most unhealthy state of affairs, and
brings on an illness known as “ swelled head,â€
which its victim always thinks something to
be proud of, as it feels just like having a feather
in one’s cap.
There had been a jolly row in monkey society.
The aforesaid wisest monkey had just come
home from a long visit to India, where he had
been made a great deal of, and gave himself
more airs than ever in consequence. The
others had borne a great deal from him, in the
way of bragging of his accomplishments. He
had learnt reading, writing, arithmetic, short-
hand, freehand drawing, cookery, and slojd ;
had been round the world; and had passed the
seventh standard. Never was such a learned
monkey !
The trouble began with his wanting to set
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 63
up a school in the forest. He gave out the idea
cautiously at first ; but we all know what becomes
of even the most solemn secret, when once a
monkey gets hold of it; and so the very next
day the rest of the tribe held a caucus (2¢., a
‘meeting where every one takes the chair, and
all speak at the same time), and decided that
they were quite educated enough already. The
other wisest of all monkeys got up and told
him so.
“Very well,†said the would-be schoolmaster,
whose name, by the way, was Hanuman—
“Then I won’t tell you about what I saw in
India.â€
This appeal to their curiosity was too much,
and so the caucus returned to its deliberations,
and they withdrew their opposition so far as to
agree to take a trial lesson from him. There
was some discussion as to the subject, which
was ended by the other wisest monkey remark-
ing that since Professor Garner had been speak-
ing disparagingly of monkey-talk, they had
64. THE CONCEITED MONKEY
better go in for elocution. This was received
with cheers, and Hanuman was invited to begin
at once.
“T thought you’d come round!†he compla-
cently observed. ‘ Now, sit down, all of you,
in front of me, and I’ll begin with a recitation.
It’s a little thing of my own, called
“AN ODE TO A-RUM SHRUB.
“The poppies in the hedgerows twine ;
The figs are ripening on the vine;
And the carnations columns tall
O’ertop the violets on the wall ;
While, down the path, its petals red
Doth the majestic snowdrop shed ;
And, where the emerald dahlia creeps,
And laurestinus shyly peeps,
The lily of the valley throws
Its burly shade across the rose,
Whose airy tendrils clasp the while
The fairy Lily of the Nile.â€
Here Hanuman stopped for applause. An
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 65
old baboon got up and walked away, followed
by a few marmozets; and an elderly spider-
monkey in the second row remarked, “ How
sweetly pretty!†Hanuman went on—
“O, Rose and Lily—one, yet two!
Alike in perfume, form, and hue:
Bright twins of nature and of art ;
So hard to name when seen apart,
And yet betraying to each sense,
When joined, a subtile difference
That makes each, each—How is it ye,
» Like proverbed Love and Poverty,
66 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
In mutual elusive flight
Escape from one another’s sight
So oft, that e’en to join your names,
A poet’s utmost licence shames ?â€
“Tm sorry to interrupt,’ said the other
wisest monkey, “but I must ask one question.â€
“ Ask away,†said Hanuman.
“Have you got a licence?†said the other
wisest.
“Of course I have,†said Hanuman. ‘‘ How
do you suppose I could write poetry without
one?â€
No reply to this was forthcoming, and so the
orator went on again—
“ The lily of the valley flings
Its massive boughs in eddying rings ;
The turncap lily’s fruitage rare
Pervades the circumambient air ;
The treasured lily of Japan
Spreads like a raven’s diamond fan ;
And the rathe water-lily’s flowers
Raise their long spears amid the bowers ;
But memory bids me still recall
The tiniest flow’ret of them all,
And brings, to crown the sylvan pile,
The fairy Lily of the Nile.â€
Here the younger portion of his audience
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 67
rushed off in pursuit of a passing squirrel. But
Hanuman went perseveringly on—
“© fairy Lily! Thou whose spots
Show ruddier than the apricot’s,
I love to pluck thee, and to think
How, oft on Boreal Nilus’ brink,
The ibis, lost in rapture, sips
Rich draughts of nectar from thy lips ;
Or how, in Cleopatra’s vest
Thy starry calyx used. to rest,
And reproduce, with pigments rare,
The ebon glories of her hair,
That now repeat themselves again
In thy pale leaflets’ golden rain.â€
68 “THE CONCEITED MONKEY
_ By this time none of the monkeys remained
but three grey-headed ourang-outangs, who
were fast asleep, and the spider-monkey men-
tioned above. Still Hanuman plunged boldly
into his last verse—
“Give me no poppy’s clambering trail ;
The whorls of figs will not avail,
Nor the carnation’s dainty bell,
Nor scarlet pansy-leaves, to tell
The myriadth part of what my soul
Would say. But long as snowdrops roll
Their moss-grown stamens, and below
The rhododendron-bulbs o’erflow,
And dahlias hide their glimmering eyes,
So long my careworn heart will prize
Beyond the Rose’s turquoise smile
The fairy Lily of the Nile.â€
“T should so like you to write those verses
in my album,†remarked the Spider-monkey,
with a coquettish air.
“No, thank you, ma’am,†replied Hanuman ;
“T leave that sort of thing to those who have
nothing better to do. It seems to me I’m being
thrown away here. They don’t get anything
out of me about India, however.†And then
he walked away in a state of profound disgust.
He did not notice where he went, until he
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 69
found himself on the edge of a great cliff, that
rose some hundreds of feet in an almost sheer
precipice, close behind King Longbeard’s Castle,
and was looking down into the Royal gardens.
He could see the Castle standing below him,
and the river of silver pouring from the cave
and flowing by its walls, and the rainbow bridge
that spanned it and led into the nursery-garden :
and up through the air came a sound of the
singing of thousands of birds, and, clearly to
be heard through all, though not so loud, the
‘humming of the wonderful blue bees. Sweeter,
‘too, than the music of either birds or bees,
came up the merry songs of a troop of children,
who were playing in one of the fields by the
river-side. It was the Princess Elsie’s birth-
day, and she was keeping it in company with
her sisters and a number of child-fairies. A
party of the King’s workmen were busily em-
ployed in the meadows farther down the river,
making hay for the horses of the sun; and, as
the children sang, they joined in, and sang the
70 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
same songs, with voices stronger than theirs,
but just as sweet.
Hanuman sat and listened, not at all becaus
he in the least enjoyed the beauty and sweetness
of it, but because he wanted to understand what
it all could mean. This, however, he could not
do, even though he was (as I have said) the
wisest of all the monkeys—wiser, in his own
estimation, than even King Longbeard himself.
A cousin of his, who had gone to live in York-
shire, had sent him a most beautiful book for a
present, with quantities of pictures of mill-
chimneys, and coal-pits, and back-to-back
houses, and excursions to Blackpool, besides -
advertisements of soap, and pills, and cocoa—
enough to make a Christmas Annual. And so,
as he sat on the top of the cliff, and looked
down into Dreamland, he thought nothing of
its peaceful loveliness, or of the happiness of
those who lived there; but only of what a
stupid, useless, behindhand sort of place it must
be—so utterly unlike the wonderful world re-
vealed to. him by his picture-book. ‘ Why,â€
he said to himself, “ they know nothing—abso-
lutely nothing. I do believe those fellows down
there never heard of such a thing as a strike in
their lives, or of a school-board, or a caucus >?
Could one of them calculate the odds on a
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 71
dog-race, or tell how to suppress a football
referee?â€
And then a great idea came into his mind:
and it was this—that he himself would go down
and set up a school in Dreamland.
Now in the midst of the forest was a shop,
kept by a fussy old magpie, and furnished with
one of the most extraordinary collections of
pickings and stealings you can imagine. She
had rags, bones, and old bottles for sale;
second-hand books, and fourth- and fifth-hand
clothes; peppermint rock, and sham jewellery,
besides an indescribable assortment of articles
that no inland bird or beast would ever, in its
right senses, think of using: and this was pro-
bably the reason why she had had a board put
up over her door with ‘‘ PICA CAUDATA,
DEALER IN MarRINE SToRES,†inscribed upon
it in the reddest of red letters. And it was to
her that our monkey, having decided on the
profession of schoolmaster, went for his outfit.
First of all, he bought a college cap and
gown ; and the latter was not of a dingy black,
such as they wear in the English Universities,
but of a lovely Aberdeen red: and the magpie
assured him that it, and the cap with its red
silk tassel, made him look as pretty as one of
those sweet girl-students we meet in the streets
GD THE CONCEITED MONKEY
of the Granite City. Then he bought a pen,
which he stuck behind one ear, and a quire of
copy-paper, and a slate and pencil, and a small
piece of sponge, and a large piece of chalk, and
a copy of “ Butter’s Spelling,†and one of
“Hamilton on Quaternionsâ€; and with these
he started off into Dreamland.
When he got there he made his way to an
open piece of ground that lay between the gar-
dens and the hay-fields, in the middle of which
stood a tall beech-tree, and to the trunk of this
tree he fastened a sheet of paper, on which he
had written : ;
“Knowledge is power.â€â€”Lytton.
“Man, know thyself."—Out of my own head.
TO THE INHABITANTS OF DREAMLAND,
PROFESSOR ENTELLUS HANUMAN SEMNO-
PITHECUS, A.P.E,,
Has opened an Academy
For instruction in all the usual branches of a Polite Education,
including—
SHORTHAND, COOKERY, SLOJD, AND FREEHAND DRAWING,
MATHEMATICS, AROMATICS, AND RHEUMATICS,
HYDROSTATICS, TACTICS, TICTAX, INCOME-TAX, OUTGO-TAX, -
STATISTICS, RETURNS, SHAG, AND CUT CAVENDISH.
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 73
TERMS :—
Stalls : . > : » 5s. 0d
Reserved Seats 3 : . 2s, 6d.
Gallery and Pit ae _ Is. Od. -
Children Half-price.
Washing and Refreshments Extra.
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS :-—
“They come as a boon and a blessing to men.â€
MacNibble & Scrabbleum.
“Worth a guinea a box.†—D. T. Screechem.
“Grateful and comforting.â€â€”Cocoaberry & Co.
“Matchless for the complexion.†—Apples & Patti.
Every Coupon is equtvalent to a Policy for
£2000.
“ And if that is not a fine, attractive adver-
tisement,†said the monkey to himself, ‘I
should like to know what is:†and as he said
so he struck his arms akimbo, put his head on
one side, and walked backwards to admire his
handiwork. But he forgot that the river ran
not far behind him, and so in he tumbled with
a splash and a yell that was heard by the Prin-
cesses and their fairy companions. ‘They ran
_and flew to the spot as fast as they could, but
the current was so strong that it swept the poor
‘monkey off down the stream, and he would have
14 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
been speedily drowned—for nothing that is not
perfectly true can swim in that silver water—if
one of the haymakers in the field below had not
jumped in and rescued him.
The man bore the poor Professor, miserably
draggled, and more dead than alive, to where
the Princesses were standing. The Princess
Geraldine, who was the eldest, desired him to
be carried into the Castle, because every living
thing in distress has a claim on King Long-
beard’s kindness ; while she bade a messenger-
fairy fly on before to make all ready to receive
him, and to prepare a warm draught of nectar
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 7G
for the haymaker. So the first thing the
monkey knew was that he found himself snugly
tucked into a comfortable bed, while a good-
natured looking old fairy fed him with ambrosia
out of a golden basin. (I should tell you that
both nectar and ambrosia are made by the blue
bees, and are what the fairies themselves live
on.) His college cap had been lost in the river,
and his pen had shared the same fate ; the rest
of his school apparatus he had left on the grass
under the beech-tree, but he could see his red
gown hanging before the fire to dry.
“Well,†he thought to himself, “these are
fine doings! Here I am on a genuine feather-
bed, between cambric sheets, under a silk
counterpane, fed out of a golden basin with the
76 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
jolliest stuff I ever tasted. What an important
person I must be!†aa
Just at that moment the door opened, and
the King’s physician came in—a handsome,
pompous-looking old gentleman, dressed in a
richly laced coat, with a three-cornered hat, and
carrying an enormous gold-headed cane. He
came over to the bed, pulled out his jewelled
watch, and felt the monkey’s pulse: then he
opened his thermometer-case, and took his
patient's temperature by putting the little glass
tube under his armpit. This last operation
rather frightened the Professor, who had never
seen it done before, and thought the arm was
-going to be cut off; but as the physician only
went on to look at his tongue, and give the
nurse directions about his diet, and then bustled
off out of the room, he recovered his spirits, and
thought to himself, “What a very important
person I must be! I hope he won’t expect a
fee from me!â€
And not long after there came a gentle knock
-at the door, and the nurse said, “Come in.â€
So in came the Princess Elsie, leading by the
hand her little sister Princess Monica.
“Monica wanted to see the sick monkey,
nurse; and papa said I might bring her,†said
the elder girl.
THE CONCEITED MONKEY oF
‘Want see sick mukkey, Nurnie,†echoed the
little one.
“Yes, my darlings,†said the Fairy; “come
and look at him, but don’t stay long.â€
When the monkey heard that, and guessed
who his visitors were, he half-closed his eyes
and tried to smile and look interesting, but
failed so dismally in the attempt that Princess
Elsie drew back, thinking, ‘‘ What a dangerous,
ugly beast!†But she said aloud, ‘“ Poor fellow,
Iam glad he was not drowned. I must send
him some of my birthday cake as soon as he is
well enough to eat it.â€
“N’yum-n’yum!†thought the Monkey, but
he said nothing.
But the little Princess Monica had such a
tender heart that she loved all animals, even
the ugliest and fiercest: so she put out her wee
handie and stroked the Professor’s fur, and
said, ‘ Nice mukkey, p’etty mukkey! Mukkey
sick, me sorry!†And then they went away,
and as the door closed behind them the monkey
thought, “What a vERY important person I
must be! I hope they won’t expect free educa-
tion from me!â€
They had not long been gone when another
knock was heard at the door, and there entered
no less a person than King Longbeard himself.
78 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
He had not on his golden crown or robes of
state, but he looked so majestic, and the fairy
nurse curtseyed so low before him, that the
monkey knew who he must be; so he said to
himself, “This is going to be a big thing,†and
straightened himself out very stiffly, closed his
eyes, and called up his most intellectual ex-
pression.
Now there was nothing more common than
for the King to pay such a visit, for the whole
business of his life was to strengthen the weak,
and help the feeble, and set right what he found
going wrong; and it was no unusual thing for
him to sit up whole nights if any of his dearly
loved flowers, whom he trained for their life on
earth, were out of sorts. So, of course, he came
to look after his accidental guest; and as soon
as he saw him he knew that the dip in the river
had done him more good than harm, and that
all that ailed him was an attack of “swelled
head,†which never kills anybody—and more’s
the pity! So when he saw this, knowing that
the Professor’s illness was incurable, he gave
a great sigh, and the monkey hearing him,
thought, ‘““Dear me! His Majesty is deeply
concerned. What a VERY important person
I must be! I wonder what he can think he’s
going to get from me—gratitude, perhaps.
THE CONCEITED MONKEY 79
Well, I might pay fees, and I could give educa-
tion, but gratitude—that would be too much ;
besides, I never had any. It’s clear I must make
the best of present opportunities.â€
And then, as the nurse went over to the door
to open it for the King, the monkey grabbed
the golden basin, made one spring out of bed,
through the open window, and away he scrambled
up the carved stonework of the castle wall, till
he reached the roof. But when he got there he
found he had reckoned without his host; for,
instead of being able to climb from the roof to
the rocks behind, as he had hoped, he saw that
the only way into or out of the castle for man,
beast, creeping thing, or climbing thing, was
over the rainbow bridge, and so he was a
prisoner.
Then the King came out into the courtyard
below and sent a page to summon his gardeners ;
and they came, bringing pots, and in the pots
were ivy, and vines, and jasmine, and clematis,
and all sorts of climbing plants. The wild
convolvulus came to help, too. ‘And now,â€
it said, “they sha’n’t call me ‘ Bindweed’ for
nothing.†And then up the castle wall crept
all the plants; and the monkey, as he saw them
coming, shivered and chattered, and when they
came up to him bit and tore at them. But
80 THE CONCEITED MONKEY
they soon overpowered him, and bound him
fast hand and foot with the wild convolvulus,
and lowered him down to the courtyard, where
he was seized by the fairy guards.
King Longbeard’s sentence on him was, that
he should be chained to a pole for the rest of
his life, and placed between the beech-tree
where he had tried to keep school, and the
river where he had tumbled in.
pee
@® ABDUCTION|
OF THE
PROFESSOR.
@
®
yy,
The Abduction of the Professor
CHAPTER I
WHERE was great excitement in
Dreamland—the Professor had
Cr: J
Yaar broken loose!
Ui Yj ae 6
A)
Mick, the Irish haymaker, who
had rescued him from a watery
grave, and had been entrusted by
King Longbeard with the care of
the monkey, his kennel and his food, had come
one morning to look after his charge, and
(
i
M7
84 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
WAI
found only a fragment of broken chain left as a
“P.P.C.†This (not the bit of chain, but the
desertion) he took very much to heart, for, as
he said, “he couldn’t blame the baste for
amnestyin’ himself, av he had the chance; but
he might ha’ guv his owld friend some notice
that he wor goin’ away unexpected.â€
However, the Professor was gone, and had
left no address ; nor was any trace to be found
of the direction that he had taken. The most -
experienced trackers of Prince Robert’s hunting-
party, with their finest-nosed hounds, were set
to work in vain; not a crushed blade of grass,
nor a trace of scent, could be detected beyond
the circle that marked the sweep of the chain
that, with its occupant, had so singularly dis-
appeared ; and at last even the fairies gave the
problem up as insoluble.
But if you had been there the night pre-
ceding Mick’s discovery, you might have seen
a wonderful sight. In the bright moonlight
something that looked like a small black cloud
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 8 5
TON ESS
oy EG
oT)
rose from behind one of the distant mountains,
and came floating towards the centre of Dream-
land; and, as it came nearer, you might have
seen it take the form of an enormous bird—
none other, indeed, than the great Roc himself.
On he came, flying swiftly and steadily; and
crooning a strange, low, monotonous song, in
the key of double-X-flat minimus ; and every
fairy, and wind-elf, and water-sprite that heard
it, just rolled over, and went fast asleep where
he (or she) lay; and even the blue bees in the
garden stopped humming, and settled down on
the cradles of the baby flowers ; and the night-
ingales and owls tucked their heads under their
wings, a feat of gymnastics, by the way, which
the latter performed on this occasion only; and
all the horses and cattle, and all other animals,
became hypnotised too. But Professor Entellus
Hanuman Semnopithecus kept wide awake.
And the Roc came on, and flew down, and
86 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
perched on the beech-tree by the Professor's
pole, and cocked his head on one side, and
looked almost as wise as the monkey himself.
Being such a very large bird, and having
exerted himself so much between flying and
singing, he was rather out of breath when he
arrived; and so Hanuman, who knew him
well, having often met him in the East, spoke
first.
‘Rather puffed, old cock, eh?†was his first
remark.
“Eh! what? I don’t quite understand you,â€
panted the Roc.
‘You don’t seem in first-rate training—now
do you, honour bright ?†said the Monkey.
“Never was in a train in my life,†said the
bird ; “don’t believe in such things.â€
‘‘T meant that you seem short in the wind,â€
explained Hanuman.
“If you’d been as long in the wind as I
have,†said the Roc, “you'd have a different tale
tortellee
“Thank you,’ said the Monkey; “but I
prefer my tail as it is.â€
“JT mean,†said the Roc, “you'd have
another song to sing.â€
“Tm sure I can sing as well as you, any
day,†said the Monkey.
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 87
“Ah! but not at zight,†said the Roc.
“ That does make some difference, certainly,â€
said Hanuman; “but at night I give recita-
tions. That’s much more fashionable nowa-
days.â€
“ Nights, you mean, don’t you?†said the
Bird. “But you can’t recite really, can you?â€
“Can’t I? rather!†exclaimed the Professor.
“Just you listen, and I'll show you what I can
do. There’s no charge for admission: but a
collection will be made to defray expenses.â€
“T sha’n’t put anything in,†said the Roc.
“You won't put me out, though,†said the
Professor. And then he began:
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse, and sang ;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
‘Oh, I’m the Commander of all the Force,
And all the Force is commanded by me—
Of the Zwang-ti-Zwang, Prince Ziggledizee i
And the sound of his singing became so loud
That we all of us feared he was growing too proud:
‘For we hold that humility, hunger, and grief
Are the things that suit a Commander-in-chief.
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse, and sang ;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
‘I’m full of potatoes and lobster sauce.
88 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
Of sauce and potatoes I’m full, you may see—
Of the Zwang-ti-Zwang, Prince Ziggledizee !’
And the sound of his singing, it fell so flat
That every one feared he would soon grow fat :
And we know that humility, hunger, and grief
Are just what befit a Commander-in-chief.
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse, and sang ;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
‘I never was sorry, I’ve no remorse,
Regret and repentance are strangers to me—
Of the Zwang-ti-Zwang, Prince Ziggledizee.’
And the sound of his singing, it echoed so jolly,
We deemed it the most reprehensible folly :
Since surely humility, hunger, and grief
Are the signs of a true Commander-in-chief.
“Prince Ziggledizee, of the Zwang-ti-Zwang,
He rode on his polyglot horse and sang;
He sang, as he rode on his polyglot horse,
Till his throat was sore, and his cold grew worse,
And the Force mutineered, and the lobsters rose,
And he couldn’t get any more po-ta-toes ;
And the sound of his singing grew faint and low,
Till it seemed the expression of uttermost woe.
Then we gave him a medal, and tenpenny nails,
And a rhubarb pie, and the Game of Squails,
And rejoiced that humility, hunger, and grief
Had o'ertaken at last the Commander-in-chief.â€
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 89
- “J don’t think much of that,†said the Roc.
“There’s zof much of it,’ said Hanuman.
“It’s your turn now. What can you recite?â€
“What will you have?†asked the Bird.
“«The boy stood on the burning deck’? I
know that best. Then there’s ‘Mark Antony,’
you know, and ‘Curfew,’ and ‘ Betsy and I.’
Shall I give you them all? Id much rather
sing, though. Shall I give you ‘Sweet
Marie’ ?â€
‘Not if it’s like what you were singing just
now,†said the Monkey. ‘What did you say
its name was—‘ Roc me to sleep,’ eh?â€
‘Nothing of the kind,†answered the Bird
indignantly. ‘It’s a composition of my own,
and it’s called ‘Comatose Hypnostatics.’ â€
“You don’t mean to say so, veally now!†ex-
claimed the Monkey. ‘“ Are there words to it?â€
“ Of course there are,†said the Bird. ‘‘ Just
you listen.†And then he began to sing in the
same strange key:
“Oom maint padh mi oom!
Sleep in the surges’ boom:
Sleep in the dungeon’s gloom :
Sleep in the darkened room:
Sleep in the inmost tomb :
Sleep in the ages’ loom !
Oom mani padh mi oom 1â€
go THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
and by the time he had got that far, Pro-
fessor Entellus Hanuman Semnopithecus had
curled himself up into a complicated tangle
with his chain, and gone fast asleep too. Then
the bird hovered quietly down, bit the chain off
close by the pole, picked up the monkey in his
beak, and flew off with him in the direction
whence he had come.
Hence the excitement and puzzlement in
Dreamland: for not one of the sleepers, from
the King down to the humblest bee, had
suspected that their sleep had been anything
but natural repose, or could recall any remem-
brance of the strange song of the Roc. The
only odd thing, besides the monkey’s disappear-
ance, was the unusual stiffness every owl in the
place felt about the neck, which, however, was
ascribed to rheumatics. As for Mick, he not only
took to heart the slight he thought Hanuman
had put upon him, but felt also as if he himself
were somewhat to blame for his friend’s dis-
appearance, though, indeed, King Longbeard
had in no way made him responsible for his safe
custody ; and so, though every one else soon for-
got about the occurrence, he went about for some
weeks looking the very picture of unhappiness.
One evening, as he was coming home from
his work, he was surprised to see a handsome
‘
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 93
stork walking towards him with a dignified air,
carrying a paper in his beak. The bird came
straight to meet him, and held out the paper,
as though he wished him to take it. Mick did
so, saying as he unfolded it, ‘‘Arrah! what's
this now? I hope ’tis not his bill this quadhru-
ped’s sarvin’ me wud.â€
“Certainly not,†replied the Stork. “I prefer
to keep my bill for my own use. But I think
ou will find that rather an important letter.â€
“‘ That’s accordin’ to what does be in it,†said
Mick ; and then he read as follows:
“Dear MICHAEL,
This comes hopping to find you well as it
leaves me in good helth and spirrits, being miserably tied up
in the dark end of a rabit hole which is worse than a pole and
kenel in dreemland and I wish I was back agen, and woudl be
thankfull if you come and reskew me which I have kindly toled
94 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
i
the barer to show you the way as nose it well all here joins in
affekshnt rembrances to all enquring frends for I ham very
retchid hopeing you are the same I am your afecshonet frend
‘*ProressoR ENTELLUS HANUMAN
SEMNOPITHECUS, A.P.E.
(he rote this hisself.)
“PS, I did for that old rock.
“P.S. secondly. He wants me to say this is Dick tated to
a ignorent rabet which he tawt me his own self and pleas
escuse bad riting yours truly, Frisky.â€
“ Hurroo!†exclaimed Mick; “here’s luck!
How did ye come acrass his Riverence, honey?â€
he said to the Stork.
“Well,†said the Bird, “it was this way.
The other day, I went for a walk, when, turning
down an alley among the trees, I passed in
front of a little house, in one of whose windows
a placard with ‘To Ler’ had been up for a
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 95
long time. To my surprise, this had been
taken down, and I thought I heard sounds of
life‘within. I’m not what you'd call inquisitive,
you know, but for all that, I put my ear to the
keyhole of the front door, and heard a sort of ©
low, hasty muttering. Some creature was
saying to itself, hurriedly, ‘Lay the table!
Yes, I must lay the table. Tea!—that’s a
noun, common—singular? Very singular!
Masculine gender? Yes—that’s a conjunc-
tional sentence—“ lay the table azd the tea will
appear.†Verb, transitive? No, you can’t make
the tea appear anything. Yes, you can! It
appears too long drawn.’
“My curiosity was so excited, that I knocked
at the door.
“© A knock!’ said the voice inside. ‘Knock
—adjective, demonstrative—noun, common,
plural, feminine—I can’t wait. A sound
of busy, pattering feet followed ; and a rabbit,
dressed in a short coat, opened the door.
“*T beg your pardon,’ I said; ‘but may I
ask who you are?’
“«Nonsense!’ he replied; ‘you can’t ave
anybody, can you, stupid head? It can’t be
transitive.’
“<¢T never said it was,’ said I, rather taken
aback.
96 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
“«Then come in,’ said he. ‘/z’s a preposi-
tion, you know. But if you come into my
house, you must come into the sentence, too, I
suppose.
‘““*«What have you been sentenced for?†I
asked, feeling rather puzzled.
“*Tve not been sentenced for anything,’
replied the rabbit, ‘but only put into ana-
lysis.’
eel I think I understand,’ said I. ‘ You live
in a sort of sentence, to be pa and ana-
lysed.’
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 97
uVes, he said; “lm 4 word in pars-
eae Rabbit ’’—noun, common, neuter gen-
er. :
“YT beg your pardon,’ said I; ‘but isn’t it
masculine ?’
«So much for your good grammar!’ said
my host. ‘I have different parts——
‘“* Of speech ?’ said I.
“*No, of course not. Of vabdz¢—nose—
verb, transitive, active, very active, quite lively
in fact!’
“« Are you gutte sure it’s transitive >’ said I,
feeling just a little dazed.
““*Ves, Tam,’ he replied, indignantly. ‘Can't
you nose something? I’m sure the Professor
knows a lot.’
““* What Professor?’ said I.
“*Vou shouldn't say “what,â€â€™ said the Rabbit;
‘you should say “who.†He’s not feminine, you
know.’
“¢ Well, who on earth is he?’ said I...
“«Wrong again!’ exclaimed my host tri-
umphantly. ‘He’s not on earth, but down at
the bottom of my deepest burrow.’
“¢ And pray, what may he be doing there?’
I asked.
“*Doing? Adjective, imperative mood; as
“sitting, standing, teaching, reading, writing
G
98 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
—howling†sometimes. He’s a monkey, you
know.’
““¢T would like to see him,’ said I.
“Tl fetch him,’ said the Rabbit: and he left
the room. Presently I heard a clanking sound,
and my host returned, towing behind him, at
the end of a chain, the most dilapidated speci-
men of a monkey I ever set eyes on. It came
shambling in, blinking as if unaccustomed to
daylight,
“«Tve got him here,’ said the Rabbit ; ‘but
he says he wants to be rescued. I wish he
could be—could, should, or would—conditional.
He’s rather out of condition, isn’t he? That’s
why / can’t do it, you see. Could you rescue
him, do you think ?’
“‘T think, 1 said; ‘but I don’t think I
could.’
“Or would 2—or should ?’ said the Rabbit
anxiously. ‘You see, he has been cast away,
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 99
and so he weust be rescued. That’s why I keep
him in the dark.’
“«The dark what?’ said I.
‘“*T declare, I never thought of that before!’
said my host. ‘How should I parse that,
Professor ?’
“The poor monkey put on quite an air of
dignity, drew himself up, and said to the Rabbit,
‘This is not the time for parsing. It’s dictation
now. Take your pen, ink, and paper, and sit
down.’
“To my surprise, the Rabbit meekly obeyed
him ; and the Monkey dictated the letter I’ve
just given you. Then he turned to me, and
asked me if I knew Dreamland well. I said I
did: so he gave me your description, and told
me where to find you; and here I am.â€
“That’s a wondherful story!†exclaimed
Mick: ‘an’ sure ’tis meself ’ll go an’ riscue his
Riverence wudout fail. But what he manes be
a vock, I can’t tell at-all-at-all. Is it far off to
where he is, yer honour?â€
“Just at the other side of the next hill,â€
replied the Stork. “It’s only a few miles. I'll
show you the way, if you like.â€
‘Then we'll lose no time about it,†said Mick.
So off they started, the Stork leading the way,
in the direction in which the Roc had flown.
1oo THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
CHAPTER II.
Tue Bird led Mick up the mountain side, and
into the forest, where he felt at first rather
timid at hearing the cries of all kinds of wild
animals echoing round him. But the Stork
told him he need have no fear, as they were all
friends of his own, and none of them would
harm him. He was somewhat reassured by
this; still he could not help shuddering now
and then, as some retreating snake rubbed
against his leg, or the eyes of one of the great
cats glared at him from the darkness of a
thicket. He pushed on bravely, however ;
following his guide along intricate paths, which,
after a few miles, became wider and straighter,
until they opened out into green, grassy glades,
with pretty miniature houses set here and there
by their sides. Before one of these houses the
Stork halted, and said to Mick, ‘“‘ Here we are
at last! This is the Rabbit’s residence. If you
wait here, I will go and reconnoitre.â€
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR ior
So saying, he left Mick standing at the gate,
while he himself went and knocked at the door.
A light appeared at one of the upper windows,
which was cautiously opened, and a furry head,
with a pair of long ears, peeped out.
“Who's there?†asked the Rabbit.
“Tt’s me,†said the Stork.
“Who's me ?†asked the Rabbit.
“Vou should say, ‘Who am I?’†said
the Stork: ‘‘Haven’t you learnt grammar
veor
“Oh, I’m out of grammar long ago,†said the
Rabbit. — 7
“ And what are you in now, Frisky?†said
the Stork.
“Tm in a state of anxiety at present,†replied
the Rabbit. ‘I wasin bed, before that, having
such a lovely dream, when you knocked, about
a camel and a polypus.â€
“T never knocked a camel about, or a polypus
either,†said his visitor, indignantly.
“T never said you did,†said Frisky ; “but
that’s what I dreamt.â€
“That I knocked about a——!â€
“No, no! you weren't in the dream at all.
Only the others. I'll tell you all about It.)
And then Frisky leant his arms on the window-
sill, and began :
102 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
THE CAMEL AND THE POLYPUS. ©
A Camel, one fine summer day,
Lay sleeping on a pentacle,
When up there swam a Polypus
And touched him with a tentacle.
The Camel stirred, and wagged his tail,
And said, ‘‘ Pray, do not tickle me!
If I should tumble in the sea,
I fear the salt would pickle me.â€
Oh, no!†the Polypus replied ;
“You're very much mistaken. You
Would be asphyxiated just
Enough to rouse and waken you.
I often wonder how you sleep
So much in my society!â€
“T find your talk,†the Camel said,
“ Conducive to slumbriety ;
Without your company, I might
As well get up and walk about ;
While you would, if I went away,
Have nothing left to talk about.â€
And then he curled his neck and legs,
And calmly went asleep again.
. The Polypus swam gaily back,
To frolic in the deep again.
‘“That’s very nice, Frisky,†said the Stork.
“But you'll let me in now, won’t you ?â€
“There's some one else, too,†said Frisky.
“One and one is two, you know; and twice
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 103
two is four. But he can’t be four—lI’ve never
seen him before.â€
“That’s why he stays behind,†said the
Stork. “He’s the man come to rescue the Pro-
fessor.â€
~&T don’t see how he’s to do it,†replied
Frisky. ‘He's much too big. Do you think
I could reduce him?â€
“TJ think not,†said the Stork.
“Not if I put him down on my slate? I'm
in arithmetic just now ; but I can draw beauti-
fully. Freehand, you know. The Professor
taught me.â€
“Tt can’t be done,†said the Stork, decisively.
fa had better just bring the monkey out to
im.â€
“T can't,†replied Frisky. ‘‘ That would be
rescuing him myself.†And he shut the window
with a bang.
The Stork knocked again ; and this time the
Rabbit opened the door.
“What is it now?†he inquired.
“The same as before,†replied the Stork.
“Now, that’s too bad,†said Frisky. © It’s
just like a circulating decimal; but it must go
down too.†And he began scribbling diligently
on a large slate which he carried. “I can't
make it come right.â€
104 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
Suppose you try the rule of three?†said
the Stork.
‘Which three?†asked Frisky.
‘This Irishman, yourself, and me,†said the
Stork.
“The Irishman can’t come in,†said Frisky.
‘‘ He's altogether out of proportion, you. know.
But T'll go and ask the Professor what rule to
work it by,†he added, disappearing into the
back part of his premises. In less than a
minute he returned, dragging the monkey’s
chain after him.
“How stupid of me!†he cried. “It can
be done by chain rule, of course. Tell your
friend to come and pull.â€
Mick needed no further invitation, but took
the chain in his hand, and gently drew his
former Jrotégé out of the house. The Professor
was as glad to see Mick as Mick was to see
him, and leaped into his arms, chattering with
delight ; and his rescuers at once started on
their return journey. The last they saw of
Frisky was that intellectual rabbit standing on
his head in the doorway, kicking his heels in
the air, violently, and shouting, “I’ve broken
up at last! No more fractions! Hurrah for
the holidays !â€
When they arrived at the pole, the stork
THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR 10 5
bade them farewell, and sailed away into the
air; and Mick, having made the Professor quite
comfortable in his kennel, went home.
But while they returned through the forest,
the Professor had told the Irishman of his
adventures; and this was what had happened :
The shock of being caught up and borne swiftly
away into the sky had thoroughly awakened
the Monkey, who, on realising his terrible posi-
tion, had struggled so violently that the Roc
let him drop to the full length of his chain,
retaining the other end in his beak. Hanuman
had at once swarmed back up the chain, and
clutching at the bird’s feathers, climbed on top
of his neck, and then, drawing up the chain
after him, let himself drop on the other side.
This manceuvre he had repeated three or four
times, and at last so throttled his captor that
the great bird pitched in his flight, and fell
headlong on the ground, about a mile beyond
the Rabbit’s house, fracturing his skull, and
dying at once. Hanuman, whose fall had been
106 THE ABDUCTION OF THE PROFESSOR
broken by the Roc’s feathers, had lain insen-
sible for a time, and, on reviving, found himself
still so weak, that Frisky, who happened to
pass that way, made him an easy prisoner.
“ And, not content with shutting me up in the
dark,†he added, ‘‘that idiot insisted on my
giving him free education, adding insult to
injury. But no matter now—he thinks that
seven sevens are thirty-two, that Bahia is on
the East Coast of Africa, and that there are
two ‘r’s’ in parallel; and he can’t remember
the date of Magna Charta for five minutes.
Besides, I spilt the inkbottle all over the carpet
when you were pulling me out. I’m comfort-
ably avenged.â€
\
The Dandelion Clock
CHAPTER I.
== HIS is going to be a short chapter.
Al That wicked Dandelion, whom
King Longbeard drove out of
Dreamland, in punishmentfor his
if Wa} cruel attempt to hurt the two
, Wai] lovely babies, Bluebell and Prim-
WEE) rose, was not utterly and alto-
gether bad. He had some redeeming points in
his character, as the doctors found, when they
poate }
ah G |
i
<=
|
FN
Se
a
a \
110 THE DANDELION CLOCK
got hold of him; and the chief of these was
that, after they had had their own way with
him, and under the very ugly name they called
him, he was very useful in helping them to cure
people of biliousness.
Now this is somewhat remarkable; because
I have always heard that biliousness is sup-
posed to make people both ill-tempered and
jealous: and jealousy and ill-temper, as we
have seen in our first story, were Dandelion’s
own two worst faults; and so this is perhaps
an illustration of what they call Lomaopathy.
But the first time that Dandelion showed
that he could be at all useful, was when eclipses
of the sun were first invented, and while he was
still a tiny baby flower, nursed in his dream-
silk cradle. And here is the history of the
whole affair.
CHAPTER II.
I HAvE spoken already of those beautiful
meadows, belonging to King Longbeard, that
lay along beside the river of silver. The hay
that was made in those meadows was con-
sidered much too precious to be given for the
food of any ordinary animals, and was reserved
THE DANDELION CLOCK Ill
for the horses of the sun. And here I must
tell you that—no matter what the astronomers
and other wise-heads may say to the contrary—
the sun is a great chariot of fire, that is driven
every day across the rainbow bridge that leads
into the Royal Castle of Dreamland. The
chariot is drawn by six horses, whose names
are “ Hydrogen,†“Sodium,†‘“ Ferrum,†“ Ti-
tanium,†“ Helium,†and “ Argon â€â€™â€”the last-
named being a dark horse, and very lazy. Its
driver has been known by a great many different
names at different times: sometimes they
called him ‘ Phoebus,†sometimes “ Balder†;
but at this time they called him “Ike-Te-Mauiâ€
(which you must pronounce Hekeh-Teh-Mow-
wee); and he spends every night at his grand-
mother’s house, as any New Zealand aboriginal
native can tell you. It was this very Ike-Te-
Maui who made the celebrated Cloak of Dark-
ness, Shoes of Swiftness, and Sword of
Sharpness, by means of which the great Giant-
Killer won his victories; for he is a cunning
artificer in wood, and in metals, and in the
hides of beasts and the fibres of plants, as well
as the most skilful and fearless of all charioteers.
And for this reason, as well as for many others,
all the wicked giants hated him with a bitter
hatred: and among them was our old nursery
112 THE DANDELION CLOCK
acquaintance, Blunderbore; who, it turns out,
was a great friend of that intelligent animal,
Professor Entellus Hanuman Semnopithecus.
‘“ But,†I think I hear you say, “ wasn’t Blun-
derbore killed by Jack, long before this?â€
No—not quite. When Jack cut off his head
it fell into the very forest in which the Pro-
fessor had been brought up, and lived on there,
as did gnomes, and trolls, and troglodytes, and
poulpicans, and many other strange and dis-
agreeable things; and the monkeys admired it
greatly, and gave it the name of “ Raha,†which
(I suppose) is the Garnerese for Blunderbore.
One of the favourite amusements of the
monkeys in the forest used to be making
bridges, by hanging on to each other’s tails in
a chain, and swinging across from tree to tree,
to the tune of
“Here we go in a flung festoon!â€
And when they had made a good bridge of this
kind, Rahf would come and roll himself over it
from end to end: and all the other animals in
the forest would gather round, and sit looking
on; and if he did it well, the peacocks would
shout out those two mystical Sanskrit words,
“Ang! Koor!†and then he would do it again.
Indeed, these birds got so accustomed to utter-
DA baca tect sesteetMastereee nN teTteA CL ELCI ASEM ORLALALLELL bag WDM AECLITL EEL TLE ATED SEO Us ELT LEAULLTUN MEO Ee CL TES OO EEE EE
If [HE NOAKEYS ADMIRED IT. GREATLY? |
THE DANDELION CLOCK 115
ing this cry, that after a while they could say
nothing else: and they use it now when they
want rain. Just you listen, and see if they
don’t.
And here I may remark that the Professor
felt aggrieved against the King, not only on
account of the imprisonment that had been so
justly awarded him, but also because his
Majesty’s bridge of rainbows was so very much
more beautiful than anything he and _ his
brother monkeys could make. And as Hanu-
man hated the good King, so Rahti hated Ike-
te-Maui for being the maker of the sword that
had so thoroughly amputated his own precious
majority; and indeed he had a shrewd sus-
picion that this same Maui was none other
than his old enemy, Jack the Giant-Killer, in
disguise. So one bright moonlit night, about
a week after the Professor had been chained up,
Raht came rolling quietly down the mountain
side, to condole with him.
By this time, Hanuman, with the usual
adaptability of monkeys, had become somewhat
reconciled to his new mode of life. It is true
that he missed the freedom of his native woods,
but his captivity had its compensations. He
was given plenty to eat and drink, and the
wooden box, or kennel, which had been pro-
116 THE DANDELION CLOCK
vided for his sleeping-place, was kept clean,
and comfortably furnished with the best moss-
litter: and as the weather in Dreamland is
always fine, and there are no cold nights, he
was as well off as any imprisoned monkey could
hope to find himself. He was a continual
source of amusement to the Royal children, the
fairies, and all King Longbeard’s servants, one
of whom—a haymaker (you. remember)—had
rescued him from a watery grave; and what-
ever spark of gratitude Hanuman possessed he
showed to this man, who was an Irishman.
Mick, on his part, entertained a deep respect
for the Professor, whom King Longbeard had
put under his especial care. “ Musha!†he
would say to his fellow-workmen, ‘‘’tis a won-
dherful power o’larnin’that monkey has, entirely.
Sure, I believe he’s as knowledgeable as the
whole o’ Trinity College. When I do be clanin’
out his box in the mornin’, he keeps insinsin’
me into the histhory of all the ancient Greeks
THE DANDELION CLOCK W17;
an’ Romans, from Abraham down to Jugger-
naut. I only wish yees could hear him, some
day.†And thus Hanuman’s fame spread and
increased, and his self-conceit was pleasantly
ministered to.
The day before Raht’s visit, the Princess
Monica had been to see him, and had left him
her disused copy of “ Reading without Tears†;
and Rah found him sitting in front of his
kennel, in the bright moonlight, turning over
the pages with what Mick would have described
as “the dignity of a full-officer.†He pretended
not to hear any one coming, but went on reading
aloud—
“P is like a man with a pack on his back.
“Ten men met in a den.
“Mat is so fat he can-not run.â€
Rahti was greatly amused at this, and so he
did not interrupt; him at once, and the monkey
went on: “Here is the gro-cer’s cart at the
door.
113. THE DANDELION CLOCK
‘What has it got?
‘A pack-et of rice for Ann.
‘A pack-et of cur-rants for Jane——â€
‘Bravo, Hanuman!†exclaimed Raht; ‘dug
Koor/ as our friends, the peacocks, used to say.
What is that wonderful production you have
got hold of ?†|
“Rahti! by all that’s unexpected,†said the
Professor. “ My dear fellow, I’m delighted to
see you. How are you? The book—eh? .Oh,
its ‘Max Miiller on the Rig-Veda.’ Awfully
clever, you know! Sorry you can’t read, or Pd
lend it you with pleasure.†So saying, he shut
the book, and sat down upon it.
“ Thanks, all the same,†replied Raha ; ‘“ but
it's more in your way than in mine. How are
you, though, old chap? You seem to have got
yourself into a pretty fix.â€
Then Hanuman told him of all his troubles ;
and, the more he talked, the more excited Raha
became, until at last he declared his determin-
ation at all hazards to “go for†Maui, who (he
was sure) had instigated all King Longbeard’s
tyrannical cruelty.
- Now, among other things, the Professor told
him how, as he lay sick in the Castle, he had
noticed a drawer in a bureau, in a corner of the
bedroom they put him in, labelled ‘Cloak of
THE DANDELION CLOCK 11Q
Darknessâ€; and how he had no doubt that
King Longbeard had stowed away that marvel-
lous garment there, when the Giant-Killer was
put into a story-book, and sent down to amuse
the children of the lower world.
“Oh!†exclaimed Rahi; “if I could only
get hold of that——†2
“You would have nothing to put it on,†said
the Monkey.
“Don’t be impertinent,†said Raht.
“Tf you really think you could make any use
of it,†said the Professor, ‘‘I suppose we might
be able to get it. I noticed that they seemed to
keep the window of that room always open—
at all events, they never shut it after I climbed
out; and so, if you want it, all you have to do
is to send Peter to fetch it for you.â€
“Peter who?†asked Raht.
“Oh, Peter Pussy, or whatever you call him.
Our friend Leather-flapper, you know.â€
“ Pteropus Leatherwings?†said Raha.
“Ves. He's the chap I mean. It’s in the
top drawer, at the left-hand side, of the bureau
next the fireplace; and I’m sure the drawer
can’t be locked, for I specially noticed it
had no keyhole. Peter will have no diffi-
culty.â€
“That's a grand idea!†said Raha. “ Verily,
120 THE DANDELION CLOCK
‘brother, thy tail hangs down behind.’ I'll be
off, and see after the job at once.â€
So away he went up the hill again, walking
upon the tips of his whiskers, and looking like
some hideous, two-legged, hairy spider. And
when he got back into the forest, he called for
this “ Leatherwings†they had been talking
about, who was a great, fruit-eating bat; and
who accepted the commission willingly. Off he
flew to the Castle, where he found both the
windows open, and the drawer unfastened, as
Hanuman had said; so that he had no difficulty
in stealing what he had been sent for, and was
back again in half-an-hour. And thus the
Cloak of Darkness, that had been Jack’s, came
into the possession of the wicked head, that had
been Blunderbore’s.
CHAPTER III.
SHORTLY before noon the next day, when the
chariot of the sun was due at the top of the
rainbow bridge, Rahd, with the Cloak of
Darkness about him, came invisibly down from
the forest, and set himself in the middle of the
roadway, holding his mouth wide open.
It was a lovely day, and all the creatures in
THE DANDELION CLOCK 121
the Royal gardens were as happy as they could
be: and the blue bees were humming, not
drowsily, as at night, but gaily and sweetly ;
and the birds were singing with all their might;
when, without any warning, a strange and
peculiarly unpleasant darkness began to creep
over everything. The baby flowers began to
close their eyes, thinking that it was the twilight
come too soon; and they cuddled down in their
cradles to go asleep. Then the birds stopped
singing, and the bees stopped humming; and
at last the birds came fluttering down out of
the trees, with their wings drooping, and all
their feathers ruffled, uttering cries of terror.
And well indeed might they all be disturbed,
for a dreadful thing was happening—the sun
was being put out!
And presently, up on the rainbow bridge,
nothing could be seen of Ike-te-Maui, his
chariot, or his horses, except parts of the waving
manes and tails of the latter, which had turned
122 THE. DANDELION CLOCK
as red as if they had been dipped in blood. It
was now utterly dark, but for the stars, all of
whom came out to see what could be the
matter; and the feeling of terror was not con-
fined to the birds, but was shared in by the
fairies too; and even the Royal children were
greatly frightened. They, with their mother
and father, had been taking a long walk, and
were now returning through the gardens.
The King, doing his best to reassure them,
hurried on to the bridge, to find out the cause
of it all; but before he could get there the
sun had shone out as brightly as ever, and all
the fright was over. He heard a great deal of
angry talking going on; but he could not see
who the speaker was, for the only other person
visible was Ike-te-Maui, who was at the top of
the bridge, trying to soothe his startled horses.
Now, the angry talk came from Rahd, who,
forgetting that, if he could not be seen, he
might nevertheless be heard, was rating himself
THE DANDELION CLOCK 123
for having been a fool. He had intended to
swallow Maui, and indeed had to a certain
extent succeeded; but he might have known
~ that all would be of no avail, as chariot, horses,
and driver must of course come out of his
throat, where the operation had been performed.
And besides, he had burned his tongue badly,
and scalded the roof of his mouth: the sun
being much warmer than a hot potato—the
hottest thing he had ever tasted before:
and so he was using language that neither I
would like to write, nor you to read, but chiefly
expressive of an earnest wish that he had his
legs back again, wherewith to give himself the
kicking he felt he richly deserved. So when
King Longbeard heard that, he began to under-
stand the state of affairs; and, running to the
spot he heard the sound proceeding from, he
supplied the speaker’s deficiencies with such a
well-aimed kick that Raht, dropping the Cloak
of Darkness, bounded over the parapet of the
bridge like a football, and came down with a
splash into the river of silver, which washed
him away for good and all.
Then the King went back into the gardens to
meet his children, and reassure his frightened
subjects. First he went to where the Queen
and the Princesses were, and explained to them
124 THE DANDELION CLOCK
what had caused the darkness, and told the
little ones they might go on with a game they
had been going to play.
“But, papa,’ said the Princess Marian,
“how can we go on, when everything has
stopped ?â€
“What do you mean, darling?†asked the
King.
“Took up at the bridge, papa,†said the
Princess.
So King Longbeard looked up, and, sure
enough there, on the very top of the rainbow
arch, was the chariot of the sun standing per-
fectly still, and both Ike-te-Maui and his horses
looking as if they had been carved out of enor-
mous blocks of diamond.
“What is the matter with you, Maui?â€
shouted the King. “ "Surely that foolish Rah
has not petrified you.’
“I'm not frightened, your Majesty,†replied
Maui, “but I’ve lost my time.â€
“Then don’t lose any more of it,†said the
King, “but go on at once.â€
“T can’t, please your Majesty,†answered the
perplexed charioteer.
‘“Why not?†asked the King.
“ Because I don’t know when it is,’ was the
reply.
THE DANDELION CLOCK 125
“When what is?†asked King Longbeard,
who was beginning to grow just a little
angry.
“ Now, your Majesty,†was all the unfortunate
Maui could say.
“JT know what he means, papa,†put in the
Princess Marian. “It is that that horrid Raht
has perplexed him so much that he cannot tell
what time of day it is for himself, much less
mark it for other people.â€
“Then we must try to find it out for him,â€
said the King. But, at the same time, he knew
that would probably be anything but an easy
undertaking, since all the clocks and watches in
Dreamland had stopped with the sun. He was
puzzling his brain over the matter, when he
heard a sharp-sounding little voice, from near
the ground beside him, saying, “If it please
your Majesty, may I say something?†__
The King stooped down, and saw that the
voice came from a snow-white baby dandelion,
who was standing bolt upright in his cradle.
“Well, little one, what is it you want to
say?†he asked.
“ Oh, if you please, King,†said the Dandelion,
“if you will only send for my old mother, she
will be able to tell you the right time at once.
She lives up on the mountain, close by the
96 THE DANDELION CLOCK
wood yonder; and one of the gardeners can
easily fetch her.â€
So King Longbeard called for one of his
fairy gardeners, who (as a fairy) was not obliged
to stand still when the sun stopped, and sent
him to fetch the old plant. And, when she
came, the King asked her if it were really true
that she could tell what the true hour was.
“Yes, your Majesty,†said the old Dandelion,
who was very thin and tall, and had a wonder-
ful head of grey hair, that looked just like
dream-silk. ‘If the charming Princess, here,
will just hold me in her hand, and blow very
hard upon my head, some of my hair will come
off with each puff. She must go on blowing
till I am left quite bald: and the number of
puffs she has to give will be exactly that of the
hour.â€
So then the Princess Marian took the old
plant up in her hand, and blew hard upon her
once, twice, thrice—up to twelve times ; and
with every breath some of the grey hair came
off; and every separate hair opened out into a
beautiful star of dream-silk, from which hung a
tiny dandelion-seed, that floated away into the
gardens to give occupation to another cradle
and a fresh blue bee; and at the twelfth puff, lo
and behold! the old lady’s head was quite bald!
THE DANDELION CLOCK 127),
“It’s twelve o'clock, papa,†said the Princess.
“Twelve o'clock!†shouted King Longbeard
to Ike-te-Maui. “ Drive on!â€
So Maui drove on: and then the King turned
to the dandelions ; but, to his great sorrow, he
found that the old mother, immediately on
losing her hair, had shrivelled up and died, and
thus he could not reward her as he intended.
But he said to the baby-flower, “In remem-
brance of the help you have given me, your face
shall always bear the image of the wheels of the
chariot of the sun.†And the dandelion blushed
up with a lovely rose colour, that he only lost
through his subsequent bad conduct.
Then the Princesses went back to their play.
\ THE |
The Fairies’ Surprise
HEN the Princess Monica was
born, she was provided with a
Fairy Godmother, like all other
fairy-tale princesses ; and hers
used to appear at opportune
times, and get her out of difficul-
at ties, just as theirs did for them ;
d to bring her glass slippers, and
pumpkin coaches, and things of that sort, when-
132 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
ever necessary. It was she who gave her the
beautiful birthday crown, of whose adventures
we have heard, and who designed and superin-
tended the building of the summer-house in the
garden. Sometimes she used even to help her
with her lessons: and indeed, she was so
powerful that she could have altered the Multi-
plication Table itself, and made four sevens
thirty-five, instead of twenty-erght, to bring a
troublesome sum right—not that she ever
actually did so; but she could have done it.
Her name was Blandina, and her home was in
the Fourth Dimension of Space, where King
Matthew Mattics reigns, and where they amuse
themselves by turning india-rubber balls inside
out without opening them, tying knots on cords
held at both ends, without letting them go, and
similar foolishness.
Now, in Dreamland, as in other places, there
were unfortunately imps of mischief, as well as
the good fairies; and if it had not been for the
watchfulness of the latter, the former would
often have done a great deal of mischief indeed.
One of these sprites, and almost the most
troublesome of all, was named Puck; and he lived
in a big book, that stood on one of the shelves
of King Longbeard’s library. It was called
Shakespeare, after the name of the man that
THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 133
San
EY
G
CY Gg
Vig E fs
was supposed to have written it. At night,
this mischievous Puck used to come creeping
out from between its leaves, and run up the
chimney to make his way to the Castle roof,
where he would call the first bat from the bat-
stand, jump on his back, and fly off to meet the
other elves in some garden or field. There
they would hold regular conspiracies, and
arrange tricks to play on the Dreamland folks,
the flower-babies, and the blue bees; but as the
good fairies were always on the watch to prevent
any real harm being done, it did not matter
very much. Towards morning, as the twilight
came, Puck would find his bat, and ride him
home again to the roof, where, I am sorry to
say, they sometimes had a dispute about the
fare; and once, indeed, Puck went nearly so far
as to take the bat’s number, which would have
been very painful indeed for both parties, and
would have greatly annoyed the King, who
disliked to see numberless bats flying about
the place.
134 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
The night following the day of the birthday
crown adventure, Puck and his friends. were
hard at work in one of the fields, conspiring. —
They sat, as usual, on a set of little toadstools,
that grew in a ring; and they were not a bit
sorry or ashamed of themselves for having
kicked the rightful owners off to catch cold in
the damp grass—which, by-the-way, is the
reason why toads are too hoarse to sing. It
was the’ Princess Monica’s beautiful summer-
house that the wicked elves were plotting
against. They thought that they should have
been invited to take a share in the fun of
building it; but that, of course, would never
have answered, as they would have made some
of the stories begin at the wrong end, put blank
verse in the windows, or played some other
trick with the architecture. Nevertheless, they
considered themselves very badly used, and sat
and grumbled, until they worked themselves up
into a fine state of virtuous indignation. Puck,
who presided, occupied a big mushroom in the
THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 135
middle of the ring, and pretended to be the
most indignant of all; which was perfectly
absurd, as the summer-house had to be built in
the day-time, when he, and several of his
companions, had to be on duty as characters in
the big Shakespeare.
“Friends, and fellow-leprechauns,†he said ;
“we can all see now that, unless we assert
ourselves, things will certainly come to a critical
ass ic
i “Like Leonidas, at the battle of Thermo-
pyle,†put in an elderly sprite, in spectacles.
“You shut up!†said the orator. ‘ No one
believes that now. But things, I say, will
come to a critical pass——’â€
“You've said that already,†remarked a
juvenile elf, who wore a very high collar.
“And,†continued Puck, not deigning to
notice his interruption, “the question now be-
fore the house is, Are the rights of the Dream-
landish working-elf to be respected, or are they
not?â€
136 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
“T don't think that’s the question at all,â€
said the sprite in spectacles.
‘Will the honourable member kindly explain
what he means by contradicting the chair?â€
said Puck.
““T wasn’t contradicting any chair,†said the
elderly one, ‘or mushroom either. But what
I say is this: the other night, when I went to
see you, and the bat flew away with my glasses,
so that I crept in at the wrong page, I read,
‘To be, or not to be? that is the question.’
And so I maintain that those blue bees are to
blame for all the trouble.â€
“Here! Here!†exclaimed all the other con-
spirators, tumbling off their seats, and engaging
in a game of ‘General Post Delivery,†until
Puck found himself supplanted in the seat of
honour by the juvenile elf with the collar, and
left with only a very feeble and battered toad-
stool to climb upon. However, he soon set
that right by pulling the usurper down, and
giving him to a large toad to play with.
“Now,†he said, ‘‘ we will proceed to business.
The bees must certainly be got rid of first; and
then all those windows must be smashed. I
object to them on principle, because I am prin-
cipally in blank verse myself. And then they
know nothing about rhyme—those poets! Why,
THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 137
I had an instance of it myself lately, the account
of which I will read you——â€
“Sing it!†shouted the elf with the collar,
whereupon the large toad swallowed him.
Puck then took a little memorandum-book
out of his left ear, and read as follows:
One day, as all the woods with song
Were jubilantly ringing,
I saw a thrush, who left the throng,
And seemed averse to singing.
I followed him, and asked him what
On earth could be the matter,
And why he sought that lonely spot,
And hushed his merry chatter.
“Pray, where are all the notes that rush
To fill your throat melodious ?â€
“T cannot sing,†replied the thrush ;
“ And life is simply odious.
“This morning I was full of glee,
And sang my best to show it;
When someone passed below my tree—
The sort they call a ‘ poet.’
“He had a little pocket-book,
He held a little pencil,
And with a very solemn look
He handled that utensil.
138 THE FAIRIES’. SURPRISE |
“ He scribbled, and I saw his eye
Cast oft in my direction,
And then his notes he held for my
Intelligent inspection.
“‘T fluttered down, and there beheld
What made me feel conceited.
was his theme! My bosom swelled—-
My triumph seemed completed.
“ But, as I read, I felt my pride
Evaporate in gushes,
For 4ushes was the word he tried
To bring to rhyme with ¢hrushes !
“T argued, but he talked a lot
Of ‘visual reciprocity,’
Of Tennyson and Walter Scott,
Rebuking my precocity.
“ And so, at last, I left him there,
And came away disgusted.
Those poets’ rhymes, I do declare
Are never to be trusted!â€
This was received with great applause by all
the elves. And then they agreed that they
would begin at once, and play a very unprin-
cipled trick indeed upon the first blué bee they
could find.
So off they set towards the King’s garden,
THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 139
where the summer-house had been built. When
they got there the moon was shining brightly,
and out of the storied walls of the house were
peeping the faces of hundreds of old friends of
ours. There were Sinbad and Bluebeard, Riquet
and Rumpelstiltskin, Tom Thumb and Jack the
Giant-killer, Silverhair and Cinderella. At one
window twinkled a ‘little star,†at another were
a Walrus, a Carpenter, and a Jabberwock, and
at a third a Young Lady of Ryde flirted with an
Old Man in a Tree. Outside this window a
large blue bee was hovering and humming over.
a tiny green plant that lay in a cradle of dream-
silk.
“ Tt’s a horrible brute, isn’t it?†the Old Man
was saying as they came up.
“Does it buzz?†the Young Lady asked,
with an air of concern.
“Ves, it duzz,†he replied, sadly; “and has
bored me terribly. There’sa hole right through
me, from one side to the other! I would give
a good deal to get rid of it.â€
“Just what we mean to do,†remarked Puck
to his fellow-conspirators. ‘‘ Have you the tar
ready, Cobweb?†he asked. et
“Ready, and made of the best spiders’ glue,â€
replied the imp addressed.
“ And the feathers, Moth?†said Puck.
140 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
“Ready,†said another elf in a brown over-
coat, who was none else but our old friend that
had helped the mimulus to his spots.
_ And then the whole band crept round by the
shaded side of the summer-house.
Meanwhile, a wonderful thing was going on
in the cradle under the window. The plant that
lay in it was growing at an unusual rate, so
that, if you had been there, you might have
seen its stem lengthen, and its leaves open into
blades of grass, and its lovely flower-stalks
stretch out, each as fine as a butterfly’s horn,
and bearing a little ball of blossom at its end.
It was the fairy Blandina who was accomplish-
ing this, with the help of a company of ants,
who kept supplying her with formic acid for the
purpose. What formic acid has to do with the
matter I can’t explain ; so you had better ask a
philosopher, and then—come and tell me. And
so the plant grew, and grew; and at last it
stood upright; and then Puck and the rest
came on, hidden in the shadow, while their
whispers were drowned in the joyful hum of
the guardian bee, that grew louder and more
triumphant, as he saw the rapidly developing
beauty of his charge.
“You to the right, Cobweb, with the tar,â€
whispered Puck ; “and you to the left, Moth,
THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 141
with your feathers ; while I jump on his back.
Mind you don’t begin till I get him down. I
don’t want to be splashed. Now then—one,
two, three ! te
But just as he was going to leap, Blandina
touched the plant with her magic wand, and
from every tiny flower-ball sprang a glow of
intensest light, brightly illuminating the garden
around, and startling Whittington’s Cat and
Puss-in-Boots, who were on the point of com-
mencing a rival serenade to the White Cat from
the roof, so that each rushed back, pell-mell,
into his proper story—as he thought—but
somehow they got exchanged, and will never
come right again until after the Pantomime.
All the light that lit the garden did not come
from the same plant; for there had been many
others like it growing as rapidly in front of the
summer-house, and now they all flashed out in
a double row of splendour, that reached to the
foot of the rainbow bridge. It was an illumin-
ation-surprise that Blandina had arranged for
her little Goddaughter.
King Longbeard had gone to bed at his usual
time that evening, but found that, for some
reason, he could not sleep. The Princess
Monica told him next day that he must have
eaten too much of her birthday cake ;.but we
142 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
know that was absurd, because Kings or Queens
never make such mistakes asthat. However it
was, he lay awake a long time, listening to his
nightingale singing in a great Persian rose-tree,
close by his window, and thinking of all the
interests of his beloved Dreamland ; and I sup-
pose it was this that brought Shakespeare and
the “ Midsummer Night’s Dream†into his
mind—at all events, he lay, trying to remember
all about Oberon and Titania, until at last he
thought he must get the book, and see for him-
self. As he did not wish to disturb the Queen
or the Household, he just struck a light, and
went quietly to the great library, where he took
down from a shelf the volume he wanted. He
turned over the pages until he came to where
Puck speaks of “ putting a girdle round the
earth in forty minutesâ€; but, to his astonish-
ment, the place was blank! Puck had disap-
peared from the play, and so had Cobweb,
Moth, Peasblossom, Mustardseed, and their
fellows. Oberon and Titania were both there,
‘THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 143
however, and so the King asked them what had
become of the others.
_ “Oh,†said Oberon, ‘‘ that is what Puck does
every night. When you are asleep, he is off all
cover the place with the other imps.†_
“But why don’t you keep him in better
order?†said the King.
“He can’t be kept in order,†replied Oberon,
‘‘and indeed I am only too glad to get rid of
the troublesome crew sometimes. The only
peaceful time Tita and I ever have together, is
when those mischief-makers are out. I wish
you hadn’t come to disturb us. Do shut the
book, and go back to your bed, like a good
fellow.â€
You see, Oberon could speak thus to King
Longbeard, because he had been a King too.
‘He was King of the Fairies in Shakespeare’s
time, and Titania was Queen; before Shelley
established Queen Mab on the Fairyland
throne.
King Longbeard was greatly amused, and
144 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
good-naturedly shut the book. “ But,†he:said,
“it doesn’t seem to be always a good fellow’s
way to stay in his bed all night—not Robin
Goodfellow’s, at least.†(Now Robin Goodfellow
was one of Puck’s best known nicknames). And
then he slyly put the book back in its place, but
upside down, to puzzle the truants on their
return. He was doing this, when the double
tow of fairy lights flashed out through the
garden, and shone so brightly in through the
stained glass of the library windows, that he
hurried back to his own room, where he could
look out to see what it might be.
It was a lovely sight he saw: for though the
tiny lanterns of that wonderful grass all danced
and twinkled in the soft night air, like so many
living stars, still their combined light was steady
and clear, and so white that the colours of the
flowers, and the hues of the fairies’ robes, and
the jewelled blue of the bees, and the seven
melting tints of the rainbow bridge, all shone
as brightly as in the sunlight. And as the
King and Queen looked out, they saw a troop
of fairies fly up to the Princess Monica’s win-
dow, and heard them begin to sing to her. And
this is what they sang:
Xa ee
er CUE td nee SIS
IVVNDSSUDABATTOOOUANDRNONUEOGSTINIUY OP ANLATSA9 200 TALS AIIVADEEAT
THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE 147
“© tiny Queen of Babyland,
Sweet are thy dreams to-night !
Yet wake at the sound of our voices, and
Look out from thy curtains white ;
For a sweeter dream there never can be,
Than the bright surprise we have made for thee.â€
And as they sang, the Princess’s window
opened, and in answer to the fairies’ invitation
came her ringing cry of utter delight at the
scene before her. Then all the Castle woke up;
and it was not long before the King and Queen,
with all their children and courtiers, were
gathered on the golden terrace above the bridge,
watching the continually changing effects of the
illumination. But in the library, Puck and his
companions were having a very unhappy time
of it, trying to get back into the Shakespeare
volume; which they found anything but easy
to do, owing to the trick the King had played
on them.
Now all this happened ‘‘once upon a time†;
but still, if you are as good as a Dreamland
Prince or Princess, and will go out, on the
night of the Princess Monica’s birthday to
where the quaking fairy-grass grows, you may
see all the little flower-balls lit up at the end of
their slender stalks, like so many wee electric
148 THE FAIRIES’ SURPRISE
lights. But you must go on that night, and no
other; and you may know the right night by
its being Tib’s Eve, with a blue moon shining,
as marked in the Greek Kalendar. At other
times the little flowers hang like brown Chinese .
lanterns, waiting for the fairy Blandina to come
along and light them up.
Jo ALL ABOUT A _,f
o, SNOWFLAKE, 5
All about a Snowflake
a@IRLAND is the next kingdom to
i) Dreamland, and is as full of |
wonderful beings as Dreamland
itself; and these beings have a
great ‘deal to do with the happi-
ness and unhappiness of the trees.
nee and flowers, after they have been
ee down from their dream-silk cradles, to
grow in the woods and gardens below. What
152 ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE
I am going to tell you about happened down
here, in the same part of the world that the
spotted mimulus was sent to.
Not far from the river that takes its name
from the fairy, Bervie, there is a beautiful little
village, called Auchinblae: and close by it run
two streams, that join just at the bottom of the
street ; and one is called the Luther (which you
must not pronounce like the German name,
but with a # like that in dz¢¢¢er), and the other
the Back-Burn. Both come down between the
Hershaw and Strath Finella—two hills; the
latter quite a mountain, or group of mountains;
and the Luther comes from the Annahar
mountain, through Drumtochty. This is the
veal Drumtochty, whose name has been bor-
rowed for another place, though its beauty
cannot be. There is the Annahar Glen, too,
above which stood, a couple of years ago, the
lovely Annahar woods; and here the doings
of the Airland beings come in; for if the wind-
elves of the Luther had not quarrelled with
ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE 15 3-
those of the Back-Burn, the latter need not
have called for the great blast of Kerloch to
help them. Then the Storm-Maker, who works
in the north-west, would not have looked over
the Grampian wall, and the trees of Annahar
would still be standing.
It was all about a snowflake that the dispute
began. Snow is no rarity in that part of the
world ; but such a lovely flake as this one had
seldom danced down the brae of Auchinblae.
She wore, sparkling on her breast, the star of
the Order of the Six-pointed Deodara, which
King Longbeard gives for distinguished beauty
and the Cognoscenti worship with a microscope
anda black hat; yet for all that, she was not
happy, because she could not make up her
mind whither she would go. She had seen all
that she could of Drumtochty, and of Glen
Farquhar (through which she had been blown
afterwards); and now that she had to leave
Auchinblae, the difficulty of a choice between
Arbuthnott and Monboddo had to be faced.
154. ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE
The wind-elves had all fallen wildly in love
with her; and those of the Luther tried to
sweep her away towards Arbuthnott, while the
Back-Burn elves tried to carry her in the
direction of Monboddo; and this was very
foolish of them to try at all—much more so to
make a disturbance about ; for every one knows
that if either party had won her she must.
eventually have been drowned in the Luther,
and buried at Marykirk.
As it was, they fought so fiercely that they
forgot all about the beautiful snowflake herself;
and so, when she reached the foot of the brae
she fell into the roadway, and vanished, not
into thin air, but into pure water. Some day,
King Longbeard will send a sunbeam to find
her, and take her away along the swallows’
path to the southern vine-land, where she will
undergo a wonderful change, and become the
bride of a prince.
The fight went fiercely on, and all the wind-
spirits and other Airland beings within hearing
came to join in, or to watch it. Fordoun Hill
rises over Auchinblae, and on it stood the
lookers-out of the King of Airland; and when
they heard the tumult, they went and told the
lonely Watcher that sits in the hollow of Strath
Finella; and he leaped up, and shook himself,
ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE 155
and rushed down so suddenly into the Mearns,
that all the breezes sleeping there gathered
themselves together into a gale, and fled
shrieking off to sea. And the sea-birds met
them, and said, “‘ Make way for us! we must
pass.†So the winds made way, and they
passed swiftly through, going on up to Kerloch,
and bringing the message of the Back-Burn
elves. And then the great blast of Kerloch
came roaring down Glenbervie, and swept up
round the Hershaw. And at last, as I have
told you, the Storm-Maker of the north-west
raised his head and looked over the Grampians;
and when he did so, all the trees of Annahar,
and thousands more in all the country round,
fell as if mown by a scythe.
Many of them came down and dipped their
heads and arms into the burn of the Annahar
Glen. The Storm-Maker did not love to see
them fall, for each as it fell broke a string of
the great harp on which he praises God: and
though he knew it was the work given him to
do, he wept bitterly, and his tears mixed with
the water of the burn, that joined in his
mourning, turning their bright leaping into one
long turbid cataract that poured down into
Drumtochty. And the flood swept away all the
stems it could carry, and tore off the branches
156 ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE
that tried to hold it back, and dashed them
from side to side of its rocky channel. Wilder
and wilder it grew, till it gathered strength to
tear great boulder stones out of the foot of the
Mid-Shank, and hurl them down the kelpies’
stairs. .
In Drumtochty, the wee burnie from the
Friars’ Glen was swollen, too, with the Storm-
Maker’s tears, and when it met the Luther, both
were so disturbed that they lost their way, and
wandered over the fields, until after the Broomie
Brae and Galloquhine; but below this the
Luther recovered herself, and went into the flax
trade, as was her custom in those times.
But up in Annahar all was terror and wild
distress. The trees on the mountain-side
called to their brothers and sisters in the glen;
but the hazels and the rowans flung their long
arms about, and cried, ‘“ We cannot help you!â€
And the birches tossed their lichened hair, and
wailed, ““We cannot help you!†And the
blaeberry and cranberry brush shuddered all
ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE 157
over, and moaned, “We cannot help you!â€
And so the darkness came on, and all that night
rank after rank of pine, and larch, and spruce
yielded and fell down in death; and still the
Storm-Maker wept on.
King Longbeard sat at his castle window and
looked out into the earth below. He saw all
the distraction, and yet he was not sad; for he
knew the time was come for thousands. of
gallant young fir trees to leave their cradles in
Dreamland and go down into the world. There
they would have a grand work to do—“ builders
with the swordâ€; and it was decreed that all
who should meet and love them in their youth
should share of their courage, and steadfastness,
and strength of hope. And though the Storm-
Maker might weep over the fall of their elders,
yet even his tears should be the fewer until the
sword-builders should have brought back the
clothing of the hills again.
But at last the King spoke; and his voice
sounded through Airland, so that the King of
158 ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE
Airland heard. King Longbeard said, “Is it
not enough, O King?â€
And the other answered, “O King, it is
enough!†And he laid his hand on his! silver
bell; and, as it sounded, the Storm-Maker
knew that his task was over, and hid his head
beneath a mantle of crimson; and the cran-
berries and the blaeberries ceased their shud-
dering, and the birches, and rowans, and hazels
stood still and listened; while the lonely
Watcher of Strath Finella came back up from
the Mearns, and cried across to Kerloch that
he had seen the message of the sun in the east,
and once more there would be day.
And as that day went on there came a very
great calm.
But, when it was evening, there flew down a
great brown owl out of Dreamland, and he
came and sat on Saint Palladius’ Seat, where
once a great Apostle sat looking down into
Drumtochty. And the owl hooted out, ‘‘ Whoo-
hoo! What a time we have been having!â€
And when he had called this out three times,
then another owl from Buck Neuk shouted
back, ‘‘ Whirr-ha-ha! Do you know what it
was all about ?â€
So the first owl hooted, ““Whoo-hoo! No;
how should I? What was it?â€
Ba IS 1'T NOT
J ENOUGH,
ALL ABOUT A SNOWFLAKE 161
And the Buck Neuk owl answered back again,
“ Whirr-ha-ha! All about a snowflake!â€
Then the old owl on Saint Palladius’ Seat
laughed heartily, as the wise laugh, and cried,
‘“‘ Beauty! beauty! beauty !—’tis always the way
of the world!â€
The Horoscope
CHAPTER I
aaa RINCE ROBERT, the eldest son
| of King Longbeard, was in every
| respect what a Dreamland Prince
| ought to be; and if you don't
know what that is, why, I must
try totellyou. Inthe first place,
Weert} he was sometimes tall, and some-
times short; one day his hair would be golden,
another day brown; his eyes, too, were brown,
166 THE HOROSCOPE
blue, or black, but never twice of exactly the
same shade, though they always changed to-
gether. Still, he was always handsome, brave,
and strong. In the next place, he needed no
cloak of darkness, shoes of swiftness, or sword
of sharpness ; for he had three powers given
him at his birth: he could become visible or
invisible at will; and could wish himself into
any part of Dreamland in an instant; and if
any evil being should try to hurt him, he had
only to speak a word, and its head would drop
off. Lastly, he knew every language spoken in
his father’s kingdom, including those of the
fairies, as well as of all animals and plants.
But it was written in the great Horoscope that
had been made when he was born, that if he
should ever go outside the borders of Dream-
land, he must lose all his remarkable gifts and
qualities, and become like an ordinary mortal,
until his return thither.
_ This Horoscope itself was a very strange pro-
duction. It had been written by a venerable-
looking old astrologer, who had made his
appearance at the Castle, mysteriously, the day
before Prince Robert’s birth, and disappeared
as mysteriously, the day after. He had come
as a poor old man, leaning on a staff, and ask-
ing alms, and had charmed King Longbeard so
THE HOROSCOPE 167
much with his conversation, and shown so
much wisdom and goodness, that he had been
allowed to spend the night (at his own request)
in the royal gardens. At the hour the Prince
was born, he had been seen to strike his staff
into the earth, where it turned into a magnifi-
cent astronomical telescope; and, although it
was already broad daylight, every star in the
sky had shone out for a time with a splendour
that the sunlight could not hide. When the
old astrologer had made his observations, the
telescope had become a staff in his hand again,
and, after writing his calculation on a sheet of
vellum in the King’s study, he had suddenly
vanished. Now, on this sheet, everything con-
cerning Prince Robert, up to the end of his
twenty-first year, had been clearly inscribed ;
but with regard to the rest, though by looking
168° THE HOROSCOPE
indirectly you could see that the vellum was
covered with clear writing, when you turned
your eyes full upon it, it seemed to become
hidden and confused in a mist, and you could
see nothing intelligible. But as time passed,
and the Prince finished his twenty-first year,
then, day by day, line after line became legible,
showing that all that had just happened had
been foretold. It really was most tantalising ;
and many and manya time King Longbeard
had tried in vain to penetrate the mystery.
The many and frequent changes the Prince
went through made it very difficult for people
to recognise him at times, and, indeed, it would
have often been impossible to do so, were it not
for his voice. That never changed. Though
its compass and expressiveness were great, it
had a tone that could never be mistaken; it
was rich and full as a Cathedral bell, and sweet
as the A string of a Stradivarius violin. And
it had a very wonderful power ; for if its owner
stood by one of the large garden ponds, and
sang one of his low notes, ripples would come
all over the surface of the water, and group
themselves into the most beautiful patterns, and
quiver and dance; and each ripple would
suddenly shiver all over with thousands of tiny
riplets, and shine in rainbow colours, making
THE HOROSCOPE 169
the whole pond seem like a mass of brilliant
jewel-work.
He was a great favourite with all the Dream-
land folk; but some of the wicked elves hated
him, and were determined, if possible, to injure
him. The worst of these was one called
Bogolfie, who lived in a whin-bush on the side
of one of the mountains. The Prince had made
him very angry by his skill in striking a small
ball with a crooky-topped stick, so that it
should fly through the air and fall into one or
another of eighteen small holes dug in very un-
even ground. This thing Bogolfie hated, and
made it the aim of his life to prevent; but he
never dared to show himself openly to Prince
Robert, for fear the Prince should say that
awful word, “ fove/†and his own precious
head should drop off. So he thought and
thought ; and at last made up his mind to go
and consult the great wizard Gorillobedgrdgra,
170 THE HOROSCOPE
who dwelt in the depths of the forest, beyond
the mountains. And that very night he set off
to the wizard’s cave, where they two hatched a
terrible conspiracy.
Prince Robert was very fond of all kinds of
games and sports, especially of hunting, and
often used to spend days and nights pursuing
game and killing wild beasts in the Dreamland
forests, secured from any harm by his won-
derful powers. And though he knew that, if
he ventured over the frontier, his gifts would
desert him; nevertheless he was often tempted
to do so, that he might know the risk of real
danger, without which even the most exciting
wolf-hunt seemed tame. Now at the very time
that Bogolfie went off to plot with Gorillo-
bedgragrd, the Prince had been arranging for
an expedition against some grizzly bears that
had been seen in one of the forests, on the
mountain that divided Dreamland from the
neighbouring kingdom of Nightmaria. And
THE HOROSCOPE 171
the next evening it happened that he strolled
into his father’s study, where he found the
King with the Horoscope spread on a table
before him, once more vainly endeavouring to
penetrate the mysterious veil of confusion.
“Tt’s of no use, Dad,†he said affectionately.
“Why should you worry yourself about any-
thing so hopeless ?â€
“So it has always seemed, my boy,†said the
King; “but to-night I am more eager than
ever to discover something from it if possible ;
for when I came into the room, I found that
some one had taken the vellum from its case,
and left it here unrolled, and as I came over to
the table, it seemed as though some drawing or
painting, that had never been there before, faded
away into the mist. And I must confess that,
for the first time in my life, I feel an uneasiness
about your hunting in a new district.â€
“Oh, nonsense, Dad! You know how well
protected I am; and you know that nothing
could tempt me to go near the boundaries—not
even the grizzliest grizzly that ever grizzled.
Put away that useless thing, and don't mind it;
it can do nothing but make you ‘wise after the
event.’â€
King Longbeard rose, folded up the sheet,
returned it to its case, and left the room.
172 THE HOROSCOPE
“T wonder what the dear old man means by
this vanishing picture†said the Prince to him-
self. ‘Come along, old Horror-scope, and let
me see if you are going to yield up any of your
secrets at last.†|
So saying, he opened the sheet of vellum;
and just as he spread it on the table, out of the
mist that concealed the prophecy of his future,
there flashed, for an instant, the vision of a most
beautiful face—so beautiful, that it excelled in
loveliness all the lovely faces of his sisters, or
even of the still lovelier fairies that thronged the
Dreamland Court. She must surely be a Prin-
cess herself, he thought; and he felt as if he
would give all that he possessed, all his wonder-
ful powers, all his hopes of other happiness,
even, to see her in reality. And long into the
night he sat before the outspread scroll, trying
to penetrate the mist into which his vision had
faded. It was morning before he retired to his
room, to rest awhile before starting for the
chase, and when at last he fell into a light sleep,
it was only to dream again and again of the
beautiful Princess. But dreaming in Dream-
land is different from our dreaming here, and
always comes true; so when he awoke, it was
with a delightful anticipation, for in those
dreams. he had always ended by finding himself
THE HOROSCOPE 173
flying through mid-air, with her by his side.
It was with eagerness that he sprang from his
couch, and soon after, rode off with his attend-
ants up the mountain-side.
When he was hunting, Prince Robert never
would use any of his strange powers, unless he
found it absolutely necessary in self-defence.
He preferred to run down his quarry, bring it
to bay, and attack and vanquish it as others
did ; but this day he had several times to hide
himself in invisibility, wish himself into a place
of safety, and utter the magic words that de-
prived bear after bear of head and life. At last
he was beginning to feel a little tired, when,
out of a thicket beside him, rushed a larger bear
than any he had hitherto encountered. He at
once prepared himself for an attack, when, to
his surprise, instead of charging at him, the
beast suddenly turned tail, and fled, with the
speed of an express train, up the mountain.
The Prince’s horse toiled after him in vain, and
174 THE HOROSCOPE
Prince Robert himself became so excited, that
he wished at any cost to overtake the bear, so
long as he should not go beyond the boundary
of Dreamland. In an instant he found himself _
beyond the forest, at the edge of a vast expanse
of snow, which sloped off in an unbroken sheet
into the far distance; while immediately before
him rose a rocky precipice, in the face of which
opened a dark cave, into which he saw the
brute’s hind quarters just disappearing, He
had left his horse, as well as his attendants, far
behind, and knew that his wisest course would
be to return, or at least wait for their arrival ;
but the ardour of the chase was full upon him,
and so he determined to enter the cave at once.
To do so, he had to reduce his height, that he
might pass in easily, and then, to make known
his whereabouts, he uttered a view-halloo with
the full power of his lungs. As he waited,
listening for the answering sound of his
huntsmen’s horns, he was astonished to hear
a voice as sweet as his own, but belonging
to a girl, say, “Did you call me, Prince?â€
and out of the cave stepped a maiden, robed
in silken gauze, with the very same lovely
face he had seen for an instant in the Horo-
scope.
Prince Robert was lost in astonishment ; but
THE HOROSCOPE 175
he at once doffed his cap and made the damsel
a profound bow.
“IT did not call you, Princess,†he replied ;
“nor did I expect to see you here. But will
you tell me who you are, whence you come, and
—and—what has become of the bear?â€
_ “Tam nota Princess,†she said gently.. “I
come from Iceland, and they call me Tobog-
gannina.†.
“What a horrid name to give you!†ex-
claimed the Prince.
“As for the bear,†she continued, with a
silvery laugh, “you shall see him again in good
time. Do you like tobogganing, Prince?â€
“Next to hunting,†he replied ; “ but why do
you ask >?â€
“Look at that snow-slope,†she said. And
then, running back into the cave, she appeared
again, drawing a toboggan after her, the frame
of which was of ivory, and its runners shod
with burnished gold. It was cushioned with
the richest furs. —
‘“ Jump in beside me, Prince,†she cried, “ and
off we go—never mind where! I'll do the
steering.†So saying, she advanced to the edge
of the slope, and seated herself. ;
The Prince was beside himself. Such a
vision as she presented, half buried in the furs,
176 THE HOROSCOPE
he could not have imagined. He threw him-
self on the sledge, and immediately they shot
forward, downward, over the snow. His first
thought was that his dream of the morning was
realised, and he turned to gaze on his com-
panion; but what was his horror to behold,
instead of the beautiful maiden, a hideous
monster, with the body of a bear, the head of
an ape, and eyes like a pair of lurid crimson
furnaces |
Prince Robert sank back in a swoon, for he
found himself in the power of the evil Gorillo-
bedgrfigrd, and being hurried at lightning speed
into the heart of Nightmaria.
CHAPTER II
Now I have already told you that, though the
Horoscope no longer revealed the future of
Prince Robert’s life, yet everything of import-
ance that happened to him could be read in it
as soon as it actually took place. So, when he
was away from home, the King would often
open it, that he might read the assurance of his
son’s safety; and he usually did this the. last
thing at night and the first thing in the morn-
ing. The King’s loving nature was always
THE HOROSCOPE ‘197
deeply moved at any sorrow or misfortune that
might occur to any person or thing that came
in contact with him, and, therefore, you may
imagine his grief when, that night, he unrolled
the vellum, and read of the Prince’s terrible
danger. He could do nothing. If it had been
in Airland, or down on Earth, that the Prince
was confined, all might have been (at least)
hopeful; but in Nightmaria he had neither
power nor influence. No one in the Castle
slept that night, except the younger children ;
all were gathered round King Longbeard,
watching the Horoscope, and eagerly longing
to see some change come in the mist, showing
a corresponding change in the Prince’s fortunes.
But no; all night it lay there, telling nothing
but how the Prince had been carried off by
Gorillobedgrigrd, and imprisoned in the Castle
of King Fuseliwiertz of Nightmaria.
Then the hours of the morning passed slowly
on, and presently the sweet little Princess
Monica danced into the room, and ran up to
her father, putting her arm round his neck with
a “good morning†kiss. And, as she did so,
she whispered into his ear, ‘‘Oh, Papa, I have
had such a delightful dream ! â€
“Have you, my Possum?†said the King,
stroking her hair tenderly. ‘‘’Possum†was a
is M
178 THE HOROSCOPE
pet name her brothers had given her, because
of her bright, soft eyes.
“Yes, Papa,†said the Princess; ‘‘allabout Bob.
“Tell it then, darling,†said the King,
anxiously ; for he knew the dream must mean
something.
“T thought an old man—oh, such an old
man!—came here; and he had a funny, long
white beard, and cloak : and you brought him in;
and he took a great box from under his cloak,
and opened it; and out jumped Bob, looking
just as he does when he makes himself very
small ; and he had such a lovely lady with him!â€
“Who had? Bob or the old man?†asked
the King.
‘Oh, Bob, of course /†replied the Princess.
“Well, we shall hope for some good news
soon,†said her father, turning to the Horoscope
again.
Princess Monica danced away to a window
that commanded a view of the approach to the
Castle, where she stood and looked out. Sud-
denly she clapped her hands, and cried out :
“Oh, Papa, here he is!’ He’s coming!â€
“Not Robert, surely?†exclaimed the King,
leaping to his feet.
“No, but the old man—my old man,†said
the Princess. ‘‘Isn’t he funny?â€
THE HOROSCOPE 179
All the courtiers made way for King Long-
beard, who went to the window: and there,
sure enough, he beheld, coming slowly over
the rainbow bridge, the very same astrologer
who had visited the Castle nearly twenty-two
years before, and drawn up the mysterious
Horoscope.
I need hardly tell you that his coming was
the cause of great excitement. The King him-
self received him at the great entrance-door,
and conducted him to a room where a plentiful
breakfast was set before him: for the old man
steadfastly refused to give any information, even
to his host, until his hunger should be satisfied.
But when he had eaten and drunk heartily, he
turned to the King, and demanded that the
Horoscope should be brought to him. This
was done immediately, and, having spread it
before him, he said, ‘Though this is my work,
what I wrote on the obscured part I cannot tell.
It has been blotted from memory, as well as
from sight, by some power stronger than mine;
and I am warned that, should I construct a
fresh one, the same thing would happen again.
All that I now can do is to call another science
to my aid.â€
So saying, he took from beneath his cloak a
small black box, which he placed on a table.
180 THE HOROSCOPE
“ Now,†said he to the King, “we two must
be left alone, and the room must be darkened.â€
This was done; and then the King, who stood:
by the table, saw a strange light, of a deep violet
colour, begin to play over the surface of the |
vellum. It seemed to proceed from a glass.
tube, which the astrologer held in his hand, and:
which was connected with the box by a fine
thread of wire from each end. The King looked
on, expecting to see some change in the obscur-
ing mist, but none came.
“Hlave patience,†said the astrologer, who
seemed able to read his thoughts. “And now,â€
he continued, “I must ask you to leave me
alone here for half-an-hour, and promise me
two things. The first is, that you will on no
account reveal to any one what I shall show
you on your return; the second, that you will,
if you ever see Prince Robert again, grant him
the first request he may make of you.†i
‘“T promise,†said the King, who felt that he
would give anything to see his son again.
THE HOROSCOPE 181
Then he left the room; and the half-hour he
had to wait seemed an age to him. But when
it was over, and he came back again, the astro-
loger showed him a perfectly clear photograph
of all the clouded part of the Horoscope, taken
by means of that wonderful violet light, whose
rays had penetrated even the magic mist. His
joy at what he read was so great that, though
he was bound to keep the old man’s secret, he
(with his permission) ordered the Castle and its
grounds to be splendidly decorated, and a
magnificent banquet and illuminations to be
prepared for that evening. Every one shared in
King Longbeard’s joy, for they all knew then
that it must be well with Prince Robert. But the
old astrologer vanished as he had done before.
Now we must return to the Prince himself,
whom we left being carried down the slope of
snow in the wizard’s toboggan. |
On they rushed, Gorillobeagrigri and his
victim, faster and faster, until they came to
where the slope ended in a fearful precipice.
The Prince was still unconscious. Had he re-
covered sooner, he might have slain the wizard
with a word, and saved himself with a wish;
but the precipice was the boundary of Dream-
land, and when he came to his senses, he found
himself flying through the air with his hideous
182 THE HOROSCOPE
captor. The toboggan he saw now to be made
of bones, and instead of the rich furs were
clammy skins, wrinkled and spotted like “‘ goose-
fleshâ€; and, on shooting from the snow into
the air, it had put forth a pair of great wings,
like those of a bat, with which it flapped heavily
onward toward a Castle that stood on an island,
in a lake of pitchy blackness. This was the
abode of King Fuseliwiertz.
As soon as their strange vehicle touched the
island the enchanter leaped out, and, seizing
Prince Robert in his shaggy arms, partly car-
ried, partly dragged him to the door of the
castle, where he uttered a horrible noise, com-
pounded of a bellowand ahowl. At this sound
the great door creaked itself slowly open, and
the wizard bore his prisoner within. The hall
they entered was a long, narrow tunnel, faintly
illuminated by a greenish, phosphorescent light.
This light, the Prince saw to his horror, pro-
ceeded from the heads of a number of creatures
that stood at intervals on each side of the
passage. They were like gigantic earth-worms,
each as large as a man, and reared upright on
its tail, on which it turned and writhed about
without leaving its place. Those in front of
them kept continually bending over and biting
savagely at each other ; but as Gorillobedgrigra
ea
nee
THE HOROSCOPE 185
passed onward they raised themselves to make
way for him, returning immediately to their
former occupation when he had gone by.
At the end of the passage the wizard turned
sharply to the left, and carried the Prince into
a small dungeon that seemed in utter darkness.
“ There,†he growled, throwing him roughly
on the floor, ‘“‘no need to chain you and lock
you in. Stir but one step out of this and our
slimy friends outside will save you the trouble
of going any further. Nothing could save you
from them but the constant repetition of a
charm, the knowledge of which I prefer to keep
to myself at present. Presently, when J feel
hungry, Vl come back and see how you are
getting on.†And with that he shut the door
and went away. | we
Now, indeed, the Prince gave himself up for
lost, and once more fainted. How long he was
insensible he never knew, but when he came to
himself it was only to encounter a fresh horror,
for he saw that a faint light, such as lit the
tunnel, was beginning to come from a hole in
the dungeon wall, immediately over the door.
It grew slowly brighter, and soon he was able
to see by it that one of the gigantic worms had
succeeded in crawling through an opening left
for air, and was beginning to descend the face of
186 THE HOROSCOPE
the wall. It had nearly reached the door, when
that was thrown open, and the wizard entered.
‘‘Now, supper,†he said tothe Prince; “I hope
you are ready for me, since I am ready for you.â€
The Prince seemed petrified with terror; not,
however, at the glaring eyes and gnashing teeth
of the monster that was advancing on him, but
at the action of the worm. Gorillobedgrigrd,
not suspecting its presence, had ceased to repeat
his charm, and, therefore, as soon as he stepped
forward: it dropped upon him without warning,
and fixed its teeth in the back of his neck. He
turned to fly, but that could not have availed
him had not Prince Robert, whose hunting
instincts returned full upon him at the sight,
sprung forward, and with a single sweep of his
couteau-de-chasse cut the fearful thing open
from end to end.
In an instant a brilliant light shone round the
Prince, the walls of the dungeon vanished, and
he found himself standing in full daylight at
THE HOROSCOPE 187
the very spot whence he had started on his
headlong ride; while before him, lovelier than
ever, stood once more the maiden of his
Horoscope and dream !
‘“‘Prince,†she said, ‘I have to thank you for
my deliverance from the most horrible enchant-
ment. By an evil accident that vile wizard
obtained power over my parents to make them
lend me to him for a month in every year, during
which time he used me, as you have seen, but
sorely against my will, for luring travellers into
his clutches. But this power was to cease as
soon as he should find one who, in return for the
worst possible harm, should do him an unex-
pected service. Then he himself should vanish
into nothingness, and all his evil be undone.
You have done him that service, Prince, and,
in doing so, have saved both yourself and me.â€
“T couldn't help it,’ said the Prince. ‘The
beggar’s eyes looked so horribly Auman, you
know, when that thing fastened on him. I just
had to cut it up.â€
“That shows your kind heart, Prince,†said
the girl. ‘‘ You are just like your father.â€
‘Now, really, Miss Tobogganina,†began the
Prince. But she interrupted him with a merry
laugh.
“That’s not my name at all,†she said; “ my
188 THE HOROSCOPE
real name is Ernestine, and my father is the
King of Airland.â€
“Then, lovely Princess,†replied . Prince
Robert, ‘‘ I wish you and I were at my father’s
castle.†And scarcely had he uttered the words
when he found himself, with his fair acquaint-
ance, at the foot of the rainbow bridge, across
which his father, mother, brothers, and sisters
were coming to meet them. ©
“Oh, father dear,†said the Prince, throwing
himself into King Longbeard’s arms, “ may
I——?†But 1 have never heard what it was
that he had to ask. All I do knowis that there
was a great wedding in Airland a few days later,
and that the Princess Monica was one of the
bridesmaids, while the Princess Ernestine was
not.
King Longbeard knows all the hidden part
of the Horoscope now, and is very happy over it.
PRINCES.
| AIRLAND
The Raid of the Airland Princes
CHAPTER I.
===25)NE morning—and you may be
4 perfectly sure this is true, be-
cause it was a Saturday morn-
ing—as King Longbeard was
looking out of his library
window, he saw seven purple
9, swans flying slowly over the
rees from the south-east, and when they came
near they sailed down in great spiral sweeps
192 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
through the air and dropped on the silver river.
Then they arched their necks, set up their wings,
and swam with strong strokes of their feet up
to the rainbow bridge; and when they had
passed under it they sat upon the water as
though they were quite still, yet all the time they
had to keep on paddling with their feet, because
the current ran so swiftly.
When the King saw them he knew that they
were come with news from the city of Soporia.
Soporia is the chief town of the Land of Nod,
where the Williwinkies live, and it belongs to
Dreamland, and is governed by an uncle of
King Longbeard, named Morpheus, who acts
as Viceroy, under the title of Grand Sandman,
And now King Longbeard knew that some-
thing very important must have happened at
Soporia, or else his uncle would not have sent
seven swans to bring the news. Six would have
been plenty in all ordinary circumstances. So
he called his Lord Chamberlain and the Chief
Cook, and went out on the bridge to receive his
uncle’s message. .
Perhaps you will want to know why the King
called the Chief Cook to go with him.
Well—so do I.
You see, I am not obliged to account for
everything in these stories, which is a great
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 193
relief to my mind. If I were to try to account
for the Cook it might result in a cooked account,
and that we must all try to avoid.
When King Longbeard came out upon the
bridge, each of the swans raised its head as high
as it could, and out of its mouth shot a thread
of quivering gold, that flew up through the air
until its end fell into the Lord Chamberlain’s
hand. Then the Lord Chamberlain took from
under his cloak what seemed like a square box,
N
194 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
with a hole in its lid, and a handle at one side
like the handle of a barrel-organ; and he put
the ends of the seven golden threads in at the
hole, and turned the handle round and round.
Soon all the threads were wound in, and the
swans rose into the air, disappearing in the
direction they had come from. Then the King,
with his attendants, came back into the Castle.
The Cook went back to the kitchen, and King
Longbeard took the Lord Chamberlain into his
study. There, the latter placed his box on a
table, and began to turn the handle as fast as
ever he could.
Then, from the box, there came the sound of
a voice—or, rather, of seven voices singing in
perfect unison; and every word was distinct.
And this is what the King heard:
Up through the red of the sunrise, |
Up through the glow of its gold,
Riding on dragon-winged horses,
Three Princes of Airland, bold—
Soporia! Soporia!
Flashed they into Soporia.
Gay were the plumes that their helmets bore ;
Gay were the trappings their horses wore ;
Gay was their laughter. Each word they spoke
Rang like a trumpet, and rudely awoke
Soporia ! Soporia !
THE RAID OF THE- AIRLAND PRINCES 1095
Up to the doors of the Castle,
Up to the Sandman’s hall,
Spurred they their dragon-winged horses.
Loudly they gave their call—
“ Soporia ! Soporia !
No more sleep in Soporia!â€
Pale grew the cheek of the Viceroy then ;
Pale grew the lips of the Viceroy’s men ;
Pale were their faces ; for, no mistake,
The city of slumber was wide awake.
Soporia ! Soporia !
“ Bring us some food for our horses ;
Bring us some wine for ourselves ;
Then will we tell you our errand.
Rouse ye, you pitiful elves !
Soporia ! Soporia!
We'll be kings in Soporia!â€
Blundered the servants like daylight owls.
Blundered the Sandman. Like hunted fowls
Blundered the citizens, one and all.
What in the world had occurred to appal
Soporia ? Soporia ?
Then, when the horses were foddered ;
Then, when the Princes had quaffed,
Called they the Viceroy before them ;
' Loudly and long they laughed.
““Soporia ! Soporia !
Why have we come to Soporia ?
196 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
We want some excitement to vary our lives.
We want some Princesses to win for wives.
We want King Longbeard to know that he
Must hurry down here, with Princesses three.â€
Soporia! Soporia!
“ Send him our message directly ;
Send him our strict command.
Tell him we brook no refusal—
Peril of life and land!
Soporia! Soporia !
Here we are in Soporia !â€
Come, then, O King, in thy kingly grace.
Come, then, and answer them face to face.
Come, and get rid of this threefold pest,
That has startled thy city of peaceful rest,
Soporia! Soporia !
When the King heard the insolent message
of the Airland Princes he drew himself up, and
his face flushed with anger, and his eyes flashed
fire, so that the Lord Chamberlain was almost
afraid to look at him, and dared not speak a
word.
At last the King said, “‘ Typhonio, Simoomio,
and Cyclonio—those are they, without doubt.
Three of the very worst fellows going. They
must be mad to do such a thing; though, in-
deed, they are wild enough for anything. But
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 197
we must bring them to their senses. Go, my
Lord Chamberlain, and order the Commander-
in-Chief to draw up three regiments of infantry,
and one of cavalry, on the Parade Ground, and
have them in readiness to march for Soporia in
an hour’s time. Let them parade in full dress,
with their bands; and each man must carry
twenty-one rounds of blank cartridge.â€
So the Lord Chamberlain went off; and the
King went to breakfast.
And all this time the Chief Cook was sitting
on the edge of the dresser, saying to himself,
“T wonder what he wanted me out on the bridge
for !â€
CHAPTER I
Now, these three wild Princes, though they
were very terrible in their own country, had lost
all their power of doing harm by coming into
Dreamland. All they could do was to make a
noise, which, certainly, was very disagreeable to
the sleepy folk. But they were so used to having
their own way, both in Airland and down on the
earth, that they never thought any power in
Dreamland could thwart them; and so they
sent their insolent message to King Longbeard.
198 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
The Grand Sandman was always so sleepy
that he hardly ever knew the difference between
what was real and what was not, and so he had
been terribly upset. When the three Princes
galloped their horses into the great hall of his
castle, and threatened to blow him, his city, and
all the Williwinkies over the edge of the horizon
unless their message was sent on, he was so
frightened that he forgot to ask them if they
really knew the use of the globes. And then he
trembled so violently, and scattered so much
unnecessary sand, that all the children down
below began to rub their eyes, and thought it
was P.M. and not A.M.
Do you remember that morning ?
It was the morning that you did not want to
get up when Isabella Jane called you.
Well, when the Sandman had done trembling,
he called the seven purple swans, and sent them
off to tell the King; and you know how they
told him.
When King Longbeard had finished his
breakfast, he sent round to the stables for his
black charger Achilles, and rode off, with his
body-guard of fairy knights, who always
attended him on state occasions. When he
arrived at the Parade Ground he found his
soldiers drawn up, as he had ordered; and so
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 199
he placed himself at their head, with the Com-
mander-in-Chief at his left hand, and all the
bands struck up a march together, and away
they went along the road to Soporia.
They had not many miles to go; and, as soon
as they came within sight of the city, the Willi-
winkies came out by thousands to meet them,
and very miserable they all looked. Their eyes
were red, and their hair was full of fluff from
200 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
their blankets and feathers from their pillows.
They wore their night-gowns, and all the men
had on tall silk hats and the women coal-scuttle
bonnets. And when they saw the King the
men took off their hats and sat upon them as a
mark of respect, while the women gave three
feeble cheers, that sounded more like snores than
anything else. The good King found himself
rather perplexed between pity for, and amuse-
ment at them ; but the latter feeling gained the
day when one of the women, pushed forward by
her sisters, stepped in front of his horse, and
began to read an address of welcome.
“ May it please your most gracious Maj ——,â€
she began; but, on getting so far, she went
_ fast asleep, with her mouth wide open. King
Longbeard laughed until he nearly rolled
off his horse; and then, turning to the Com-
mander-in-Chief, he desired him to halt the
soldiers where they were, while he himself
rode on to the Castle of Soporia to con-
front the intruders. So on he rode into the
city, which was gaily illuminated to receive him.
Every window-sill had at least one boxful of
night-lights burning in saucers, though it was
broad daylight; the shutters being up in the
shop windows had not prevented the loyal
tradesmen from leaving the gas burning inside;
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 201
and a triumphal arch of stable lanterns and hot-
water bottles had been erected in front of the
Castle.
When the King and his body-guard of
knights rode through this arch, they would have
laughed still more at the absurd scene before
them if their powers of laughing had not been
already well-nigh exhausted. In the middle of
the lowest step of the flight that led up to the
Castle door sat the Viceroy, fast asleep. He
was leaning a little forward, nursing a large blue
cotton umbrella, and holding on with both
hands to the handle of the bell-pull, whose
chain, passing over his shoulder, still reached
back to its hole in the door-post. The tram-
pling of the horses roused him a little, and, with-
out awakening enough to become conscious of
their presence, he threw himself forward, giving
the chain a violent tug, which, however, had no
effect on the bell within. On the other hand,
the chain itself broke, and the would-be ringer
was pitched head-foremost at the very feet of
King Longbeard’s horse; and it was well for
him that that noble beast’s temper was so
perfect that it only moved gently to one side,
and allowed the now thoroughly awakened
Viceroy to scramble to his feet. When he saw
who had arrived, his face assumed a most
202 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
comical expression of mingled bewilderment and
satisfaction : he opened his mouth once or twice
as if he were going to welcome his nephew, but
all he succeeded in giving vent to was an enor-
mous yawn.
“Well, Uncle Morpheus,†said the King ;
“here I am, as you have sent for me. You
seem to be in a good deal of difficulty, judging
from the look of “things.â€
“Difficulty is not the word for it, your
Majesty,†said the Grand Sandman, again yawn-
ing violently. ‘It’s sheer distraction. My
goodness! look at this bell-pull—new last week,
and cost seven-and-sixpence! Do you think
we can afford a new one?â€
‘“‘No matter about the bell-pull, uncle, but let
us hear about these troublesome intruders. How
do you come to be out here all by yourself >â€
“Well, you see, your Majesty, I was just
having a nap after dinner a
“But it’s not dinner-time yet,†said King
Longbeard.
“ After yesterday's dinner,†said the Sand-
man, trying to look offended at the interruption,
but spoiling his dignity by another fearful
yawn. ‘And so the populace—isn’t that what
you call them ?â€
“The Williwinkies >†said the King.
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 203
‘Yes, with pleasure,†said the Sandman;
“the Williwinkies. They all wanted to go to
meet you in their go-to-meeting hats and
bonnets. I hope you admired them. It was J
who chose them, you know. The traveller came
round with samples, and——â€
“Yes, my dear uncle,†put in the King;
“very nice indeed. But about these fellows
from Airland ?â€
“Oh, certainly!†said the Sandman. ‘“ You
see, I came to the door to see them off—the
populace, that is—and all the servants had a
week’s holiday to go with them; and then they
banged the door behind me and wakened me
up—these Airland fellows, that is—and I
couldn’t finish my nap. So I rang, and rang,
and rang, and it was all no use.â€
“Then there’s no one in the Castle now but
the Airland Princes ?†asked the King.
“No one but the Airland Princes,†said the
Sandman solemnly; ‘and, as you see, they
have pulled down all the blinds, so that you
can’t see my illuminations. Why, I had a wax
candle in every window—real wax, you know ;
and a Japanese lantern hung up in the hall!
What do you think of that? And, now, I’m
sure, they have blown every one of them out.
How unfortunate !†ee
204 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
“Most unfortunate indeed,†said the King,
kindly hiding his amusement. ‘But now we
must bring these mad fellows to their senses.â€
“T can’t understand how they were ever
allowed to come here,†said the Viceroy. ‘You
and their father have always been on such
good terms; especially since my _ grand-
nephew’s marriage.â€
“Their father has very little control over
these lads, at the best of times, uncle; and
when they break out, as they have done now,
he can do nothing with them. But they shall
soon find I am not to be trifled with. Herald
mine!†cried the King to his Trumpeter-Gnat,
_ who was flying overhead, ‘go back to the
Commander-in-Chief, and bid him bring the
troops up here at once. Let the cavalry line
three sides of the square before the Castle, and
let the infantry be drawn up in front of them
in three columns.â€
Away flew the gnat ; and in a short time the
King’s troops marched into the square to the
sound of their bands, and drew up as they had
been directed. The Williwinkies, unable to
follow them into the square itself, swarmed up
to the roofs and windows of the neighbouring
houses, where most of them fell asleep even
before the music stopped. Then, by the King’s
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 205
order, the great Trumpeter-Gnat flew up into
the air before the principal windows of the
Castle, and made the following proclamation: |
“OQ yes! O yes! O yes! Typhonio, Si-
moomio, and Cyclonio! Whereas you three
have intruded into this Castle of Soporia, in the ~
Land of Nod, in the realms of his most gra-
cious Majesty Longbeard, King of Dreamland ;
and whereas you have compelled the Viceroy of
Soporia to send to the said King a most inso-
lent message on your behalf; I now call upon
you, in the name of his Majesty, to come forth
and surrender yourselves, that justice may be
done upon you.â€
But there was no answer of any sort from
the Castle.
“Do you think, your Majesty,†said the
Sandman, “ that if I were to throw a handful of
gravel at the windows——"
“Nonsense! my dear Uncle Morpheus,†said
the King ; ‘it would be quite useless.â€
“It always wakens me,†said the Viceroy to
himself, rather sulkily.
Then the King commanded that the procla-
mation should be repeated three times, and that
after each repetition seven volleys of blank
cartridge should be fired by the troops, which
was done accordingly.
206 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
CHAPTER III
AT the first volley fired by the troops, the
Williwinkies all sat straight up, and began
rubbing their eyes. At the second those on the
house-tops began scrambling down as fast as
they could, and at the third a regular panic set
in, and they rolled higgledy-piggledy into the
gutters, where they lay with their heads down-
wards. Then, when the seventh volley had
been fired, and the Gnat began his second re-
petition of the proclamation, they all disappeared
from both house-tops and windows, and the city
looked as if it were undergoing a siege.
Twenty rounds of blank cartridge had been
_ discharged without further effect, and the sol-
diers were loading for the twenty-first, when the
blind of one of the principal windows of the
Castle was pulled to one side, and a yellowish
face peeped out for an instant. The twenty-
first round was fired; and then the window
itself was flung violently open, and three young
men, mounted on winged horses, rode out on
a large balcony that overhung the front door.
On seeing them, the King rode forward to
address them; but the one who had looked
from behind the curtain, who had the appear-
ance of a Chinaman, shouted out, “Hi! you
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THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 209
man! you piecy King Longbea’d, why you
makee so muchee bobbely ? Why you no makee
bling one piecy plincess topside? You makee
go catchee plincess, chop-chop, else me blow
you out allee same one piecy candle!â€
‘‘Mashallah!†exclaimed the second Prince,
who wore the burnoose and had the swarthy
face and reckless bearing of an Arab of the
desert—‘‘ Mashallah, thou beardless infidel, hast
thou dared to come hither without a princess
to lighten my harem? Bring her hither at
once, or by Muhummad, I will scorch thee to
acinder. Look sharp now! Mashallah! Bis-
millah! also Allah Akbar!â€
‘“‘ Pale-face,†cried the third, who sat like a
statue on his horse, so that not even a feather
of his eagle plume could be seen to move;
“where is the squaw for my wigwam? Bring
her, or there will be big medicine, and I guess
your scalp will be fixed. Gee-hoshaphat! Pig-
that-stands-on-the-tip-of-his-tail has spoken.
Wah!
‘“Typhonio, Simoomio, and Cyclonio,†re-
plied King Longbeard, “I will just give you
while the big drum beats ten; and if by that
time I see anything of you on this side of the
wall of Airland, you will dearly rue having ever
crossed it.â€
oO
210 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
The three Princes gave a yell of defiance.
They struck their spurs deep into their horses’
flanks, and leaped over the parapet of the
balcony into the air. At the same time a
change came over them. Typhonio was en-
veloped in a lurid mist, like a thunder-cloud,
out of which broke flashes of vivid lightning,
and whose edges frothed like the foam of the
sea. About Simoomio the air took a darkening,
ruddy glare, and fiery blasts, laden with sand,
darted from him on every quarter. Cyclonio’s
horse began spinning round so fast that it was
impossible to discern head or tail, while a frozen
cataract of hail and snow rose fountain-like on
all sides of him, and poured down into the
square beneath.
At the same time, King Longbeard’s fairy
knights rose swiftly into the air on their horses,
and formed a ring about the three, while the
Viceroy, unfurling his umbrella, went and sat
down in his former seat on the door-step. And
then, at a word from the King, the circle of
fairy knights closed in upon their challengers.
All became dark as midnight, and the square
was only faintly illumined by the night-lights
that still flickered on the window-sills, and the
lanterns in the triumphal arch, with the fast-fol-
lowing flashes from Typhonio’s thunder-cloud.
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 211
Stroke after stroke resounded from the big
drum of the centre column of infantry. One!—
two!—three!—The air grew darker, and the
lightning flashed more vividly. Four !—five !—
The scorching sand hissed as it mingled with
the snow and hail. The Viceroy, half choking,
staggered from his place, drew a box of cough-
lozenges from his pocket, and offered one to the
King, who graciously accepted it. Six !—seven!
—It seemed to grow a little lighter. Eight !—
With a rush like that of a rocket, one of the
winged horses burst forth from the mé/ée, and
disappeared into the east, leaving a trail of fire
behind him. Nine!—Another rushing swoop
to the southward, and the sand ceased to fall.
Ten !—One last headlong flight to the west ; and
then the glorious light of day shone out, as the
squadron of fairy knights descended, unharmed
and victorious, into the square.
During the latter part of the fight the Grand
212 THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES
Sandman had been standing in a corner of the
porch, with his face to the wall, like a naughty
boy, because, as he said, he was a man of peace ;
but as soon as he found that it was all over, he
came out of his retreat, and his first remark, as
soon as he saw the effect of Prince Cyclonio’s
means of attack, was, ‘Oh dear, what a mess!â€
And certainly the ground was a good deal cut up
by the torrents of hail that had fallen,and puddles
of half-melted snow were plentiful just about
the Castle steps. But King Longbeard put his
hand to his mouth and gave a peculiar whistle ;
and in less time than it takes to tell it, there
came a band of fairy workmen and put the
whole place in perfect order again. The same
useful helpers soon repaired the Castle bell, got
the door open, and helped the Williwinkies,
who were almost paralysed with terror, to un-
dress and go to bed.
The last thing the King saw, as he rode away
with his soldiers and knights, was the Viceroy
diligently sweeping together all that he could
find of Prince Simoomio’s sand, and putting it
into the folds of his umbrella, because, as he
said, it was sure to come in handy, some time
or another. And when the expedition returned
to the royal Castle of Dreamland, they found
what, after all, was the most serious result of.
THE RAID OF THE AIRLAND PRINCES 213,
the whole affair ; for meal-times had been utterly
upset, as the chief Cook had sat all day, and
was still sitting, on the edge of the kitchen
dresser, saying to himself, “I wonder what in
the world His Majesty wanted me out on the
bridge for!â€
So the King sent him to Soporia, to cook for
the Williwinkies, where he lived happily ever
after.
a Se
AT THE GATE & &
OF DREAMLAND. 2
At the Gate of Dreamland
j| KLE Dreamland flowers—the baby
y; flowers of Dreamland — how
lovely they are! Even as our
babies are so much lovelier than
ourselves, so are those of the
flowers in comparison with them.
I think babies are the loveliest
of all God’s creatures: their sweetness is such
that, when one tries to tell it, there seem to come
218 AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND
tiny fingers out of the unseen, and touch one’s
lips with silence. And this is how I cannot tell
you one half the beauty of those little ones that
King Longbeard loves so well.
All Dreamland loves them, too; and when
the birds first flew out into Airland, and began
to sing to the wind-elves, their songs were all
about them ; and they told how, as soon as the
King saw that the babies were strong enough,
he would send them down, through Airland,
in charge of the fairies. So the wind-elves
were full of curiosity about them, and kept
asking, “ When are they coming? Oh! when
are they coming, that we may help to carry
them down to their places in the gardens of
earth ?â€
It was just at the close of Autumn, and the
Frost-Queen had come earlier than usual to
pay her annual visit to the Court of Airland.
She was a very melancholy being; for a spell
had been laid upon her, that every living crea-
ture she kissed should die ; and so she always
wore deep mourning; but, as she came from
Japan, where they wear white for mourning, she
wore white too. She came, flying before the
sun, on the back of a wild East-wind, and found
the birds still singing their flower-songs ; and
she joined with the wind-elves, and asked,
AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND 219
“When are they coming? Oh! when are they
coming, that I may kiss them?â€
Now, the swallows heard what she said, and
so they went and told the nightingales, for they
knew how a kiss from the Frost-Queen meant
death ; and then both swallows and nightingales
flew away, back into Dreamland, and told King
Longbeard how she had been speaking of his
loved ones. So the King said, “I know the
Frost-Queen well, and must guard my flowers
against her. She is very bold and reckless, and
may even try to force her way in here.†And
then he ordered extra sentinels to be posted at
the gate that led into Airland, to whom he gave
a special command and message for her, in case
she should present herself.
When the Queen saw the nightingales an
swallows fly away, she turned to the blackbirds,
and the thrushes, who had remained to meet
her, and asked them to sing to her again; .but
they could not, because she looked so sad that
it frightened them. However, they found a
220 AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND
robin-redbreast, who was such a happy-go-lucky
little fellow that he was not afraid of any one or
anything, and sent him to sing for her. There
was one subject he was never tired singing of,
namely, children’s love; because he knew moré
about it than any other bird; and so he sang
about that to the Frost-Queen, with the result
of raising a great strife in her heart—a strife
between love and death. For the more his song
told her of the flower-babies and their loving
ways, the more she longed to embrace them ;
but, at the same time, the more she realised how
terrible to them her kiss would be. And so it
went on for many days; but in the end love
_ conquered, and she said to the robin, ‘“‘ Now, if
I can only see them afar off, I shall be content.â€
Then she drew her white robe of mourning
more closely round her, and rose up through
the clouds, till she came near the place where
the river of silver water pours forth into the air,
beneath the wall of Dreamland. It rushes out
in a rich cataract of beauty, that they call the
Cloud-fall,; for the whole volume of the water
is dashed at once into the finest spray; and it
is this spray that gives every cloud its silver
lining. ‘hen she passed along, outside the
wall, till she came to the Dreamland gate, where
King Longbeard had posted his sentinels, who
AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND 221
now stood on the towers of the gateway, and
looked down on her; and when she saw them,
she knew them at once, for they were none other
than the great golden chrysanthemums, whom
all Japan delights in. So she-was glad when
she saw them, for she knew their nobleness of
mind, and how well they deserve the name men
give them, of “the honourable Chrysanthe-
mumâ€; and so she felt full of hope; but the
gate was. shut, and so she drew her robe of
mourning still more closely around her, as an
outward answer to it. Then she called to the
sentinels, and said, ‘‘O honourable ones! I
have heard of the beauty and sweetness of the
baby flowers, and my heart has been full of
longing for them; but then I thought how my
kiss must only bring them death, and so there
was a great strife in my heart. Now, love has
conquered, and I no longer wish to kiss them.
All I ask is, that I may come in and see them,
and hear the wonderful songs that the blue bees
sing, as they watch over them.â€
222 AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND
When the chrysanthemums heard her, they
consulted together as to what answer they
should make; for their orders from King Long-
beard were strict, that she must not be admitted,
still they wished to treat her with all possible
kindness and courtesy. At last they replied—
and their voices came sweetly through their
myriad mouths—‘O Queen, we must not allow
you to come inside the gate; but, since it is as
you say, and love has conquered in your heart,
we will open the doors; and you may come up,
and stand in the gateway, and see what can be
seen from here.â€
Now, though she was a queen, and not
accustomed to meet with refusals, when she
heard their answer, instead of showing any
annoyance at it, she folded her arms on her
breast, and bowed her head; and when the
sentinels saw it, they said, “Now, indeed, we
know that you are speaking the truth to us;
and we honour you for it, O Queen. And when
the time comes for us to leave our service here,
and go down into the gardens of earth, some of
us will be near you always.â€
And here it may interest you to know, that
it was because of this promise that so many of
‘the chrysanthemums were allowed to become
winter flowers.
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AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND 225
Then the sentinels came down from the
towers, and threw the gate wide open; and the
Frost-Queen came up, and stood in the entrance
~ and looked into Dreamland; but because of the
strength of the new love in her heart, she made
no attempt to go any farther in. Away from
the gateway, the road lay through a thick bower
of trees, that met in an arcade overhead; and
the Castle and its gardens were hidden in the
distance, far up the valley; and so at first she
thought she should see nothing. But one of
the sentinels said to her, ‘‘ Pluck one of my
leaves, O Queen, and rub it on your eyes.â€
She did so; and, in a moment, the trees and
the distance became as nothing, and she saw
clearly all she had desired to see. Before her
lay open the whole story of baby-life; and she
spread out her hands, with a cry of wonder, so
that the robe of white mourning fell from her
shoulders and floated out into Airland; and
the dwellers on earth saw the sun himself
dazzled with the crimson flush of her beauty,
and said, ‘‘ What a wonderful sunset! It looks
like a hard frost coming on.†But they did not
know what they were talking about.
And when she had gazed her fill, and drunk
in with her ears the distant music of the
bees, she turned to the sentinels, and said, ‘‘O
P
226 AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND
honourable ones, it is indeed as the robin sang
to me; and though I can never escape the spell
by which I am bound, yet my life will hence-
forth be the happier for what I have heard and
seen to-day. And now I must go back; but
if there is anything in all my treasures where-
with I can reward you, speak, and it shall be
yours.â€
Then the Chrysanthemums replied, ‘Our
reward, O Queen, is only in your happiness and
our own duty. But we havea charge for you
from our King, which he desires that you will
show your gratitude in carrying out. It is that
when you return to Airland, you will go to the
houses that men build for themselves on earth ;
and, as the inhabitants sleep, paint on their
window-panes pictures of the flowers of Dream-
land, such as you have seen, that all may know
of their loveliness.â€
‘“T would gladly do so,†replied the Frost-
Queen ; ‘‘ but, alas, the flowers are not for me to
paint! I must only visit the houses of men,
clad in my mourning-robe of white ; and when-
ever I pass through Airland towards earth, the
wind-elves, and the cloud-spirits, and the other
servants of the King of that country, take all
my colours to deck themselves with, and leave
me none to use below.â€
‘AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND | 227
‘That is a serious difficulty,†said the Chrys-
anthemums; ‘(and we must report it to our
Royal Master. We suppose the flowers cannot
be done; but could you not, at least, try the
leaves?â€
‘Do you not understand?†said the Frost-
Queen. ‘Green would be as impossible for
me as any other colour. Whatever I do must
be done in white, my colour of mourning. In
the white sadness of my tears,’ she added, with
a sorrowful smile; ‘for, now that I have seen
the baby-flowers, I shall weep all the more,
because I may never kiss them; even though
my life be the happier for having seen them.â€
‘“‘Now that we think of it,’ replied the Sen-
tinels, “King Longbeard did not say any-
thing definite about its being done in colours.
If you can draw the leaves and flowers in white,
that will satisfy him.â€
Then the Queen bid the sentinels farewell,
and turned to come down through Airland ; but
228 AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND
first she called to the wind-elves, and begged
them to find her robe that had floated away.
So the elves went to look for it, and searched
for a long time without being able to find it.
Some of them flew down to where the Storm-
maker was at work, and asked him if he had
seen it; but he laughed at them, and said, ‘I
have white robes here, enough for all the
mountains, and to spare. What should I want
with the Frost-Queen’s?†And others went to
the Watcher on Strath Finella, and asked him;
and he, too, laughed at them, and said, “I am
robed in white myself, and I see a white robe
on Kerloch, besides the many that hang on the
Grampians. I am making, even now, a robe to
spread over the Mearns. What should I know
of the Frost-Queen’s?†But at last there
came a heron, flying from the West, and said,
‘““T saw the Frost-Queen’s robe fly out into the
air; and there came a flock of doves, and carried
it away, over the wall of Dreamland.â€
And that, indeed, was what had become of it.
King Longbeard had sent his messenger-doves
to fetch it, and, when they brought it, had
placed on it the star of his Order for Beauty
—the six-pointed Deodara, and directed the
pattern of it to be embroidered all over the
robe; and that then the robe and star should
AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND = 229
be taken back to the gate. And so, just as the
wind-elves returned from the search, the doves
came flying to the Queen with their burden.
When the Frost-Queen saw the decoration
she cried out, ‘“ Now I begin to understand all
that is meant by the victory of love: for I lost
my robe when the love of the flower-babies
cured me of selfishness, and now it is come
back to me—no longer a robe of mourning, but
of joy! Henceforward I will use it for the life
of the flowers of earth, to shield them from the
deadly enchantment of my kisses. If ever Tam
tempted to kiss them again, I will draw this
lovely robe between my lips and theirs, and so
they shall have no harm.â€
Then the doves flew back to the Castle, and
told King Longbeard ; and he came down to
the gate himself; but when he arrived there,
the Frost-Queen was gone, and the golden-
starred sentinels stood watching after her as
she took her flight down to the lower regions.
And the King stood with them, watching too ;
and saw how she lighted on the earth, in a place
where there were fairy gardens, and young
plants not long sent down from Dreamland.
And she lay down among these to rest; but
before she did so she drew her robe over her
face, that not even her breath might reach them.
230 AT THE GATE OF DREAMLAND
Two children were passing by, and they saw
her, but did not understand, and said, ‘ What
a beautiful fall of snow!â€
The King laughed when he heard them ; but
his face grew grave again, for he was sorry for
the Frost-Queen, and that not even his power
could take away the spell that had been laid on
her. And the children went into a house, near
where she lay, and came out again, full of glee,
with tools in their hands. They went to where
a corner of her robe was spread over a newly-
descended rose ; and they rolled the soft, starry
whiteness together, and beat and crushed it into
a hideous shape of human deformity, with two
pieces of coal for eyes.
_ Then the Frost-Queen’s breath came to the
rose’s resting-place, and it died. And King
Longbeard said, “ Ah me!†and closed the gate
of Dreamland.
Through the Battledore
CHAPTER I
at HERE was a great day of rejoic-
iE ing in Dreamland: the Princess
Monica’s birthday had come
I} round again. It was exactly a
a} year since she had lost her crown,
| and had it brought back by the
<=“ brave little fish that turned into
a stickleback ; and now she had been given her
new crown, made, as before, of everything that
2.34. THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
had won fresh love for her through the past
twelve months. It was even more beautiful
than the other, and thickly set with rare jewels ;
and out of it rose a plume of the loveliest white
feathers, that bent over and shaded her sweet
little face.
Every one and everything in Dreamland
loved her so, that they rejoiced more on her
birthday than on those of the other Royal chil-
dren; and her brothers and sisters joined so
sincerely in that love, that they never felt in the
least degree jealous of her, but their hearts
were rather the fuller of gladness to see her so
well appreciated. But, as we have seen, there
were mischievous elves about, and at times even
worse beings, who did not care so much for
beauty and goodness; and King Longbeard,
with all his power, and the good fairies, with all
their watchfulness, were not able to{keep the
kingdom free from these intruders.
The worst of them all was an ugly little troll,
whose name was Microbacterion, who lived in
Nightmaria, when he was at home, but who
spent most of his time prowling about in search
of mischief. He used to travel underground,
and burrowed along a hundred times as fast as
any mole. Fortunately, he could do no real
harm, except to those who were careless and
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE Aoi
slovenly, and delighted in ugly things; but he
was something of an enchanter, and could play
strange tricks on even the good fairies, if he
caught them napping. And this is how he
contrived to bring a greater anxiety upon the
Court of Dreamland than even Prince Robert's
disappearance had caused.
_ The younger children, with a party of their
fairy playfellows, were having some games under
a group of trees in the Castle park, and the
Princesses Marian and Elsie had driven a shuttle-
cock backwards and forwards nearly two hun-
dred times between their battledores, when a
sudden puff of wind caught the feathers and
carried it away over some rhododendron-bushes.
The girls ran to look for it, but could not find
it, and none of the others had seen where it fell.
The Princess Elsie, however, found, lying be-
neath an oak-tree, another shuttlecock, larger
and handsomer than the one they had lost, and
this they took to continue the game with. But |
misfortunes were not over. The wind came
236 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
again; and this time, just as the Princess
Marian was making a harder stroke than usual,
blew the shuttlecock so violently against the
parchment of her battledore, that it burst it
open, slipped through, and then, to her amaze-
ment, disappeared as utterly as the first one
had done.
Both the Princesses cried out, and all the
fairies came running or flying to them. And
when they told what had happened, the fairy
Blandina said, ‘‘There must be some mis-
chievous sprite about here, without our knowing
it. I think we had better go into the gardens
for the present, at least. Come along, dears.
Come, Monica! Why—where is she?â€
“T saw her lying on the grass just now,†said
another fairy ; ‘‘ she seemed as if she were going
asleep.â€
‘“Whereabouts was she?†asked Blandina.
“Under that oak-tree,’ said the fairy;
pointing to where the second shuttlecock had
been found.
“Oh!†cried the Princess Elsie; “she was
not there just now.â€
“Then she must be lost,†exclaimed the
others.
And then began a most anxious search. The
Princesses called, ‘‘ Monica! Monica! ’Possum,
THROUGH THE BATTLEDOR:E 237)
darling, come to us! Oh, come to ust? “But
there was no answer. .
And the fairies flew high and low, in, out,
and about, among the trees; but not a trace
could be found of the little one.
And at last the King was sent for; and he
and the Queen, and all who were with them,
joined in the search; but it was useless. The
Princess Monica was lost indeed.
When they were all weary, and the evening
was coming on, they were standing round the
oak-tree ; and the King, almost worn out with
grief and anxiety, leant his head sadly against
its trunk. He had hardly done so, however,
when he heard a voice, that seemed to come
from the heart of the tree, shrilly singing in his
Cary
“ Don’t despair, most gracious King ;
But form the mystic fairy-ring !â€
At once King Longbeard started forward.
“ Bairies! my fairies!†he cried; “at last you
can help me. Form one of your beautiful rings
here at once, with all your proper ceremonial.â€
- Then all the fairies came out on the grass, led
by Blandina, and stood in a ring ; but they felt
too sad to dance and sing as usual. Then the
King went back to the tree, and put his ear to
238 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
the bark again, and listened. And again he
heard the voice singing :
“ Bring the broken battledore,
And place it on the grassy floor !â€
So he called the Princess Marian, who brought
her battledore, and laid it down in the midst of
the fairies. Then he listened once more; and,
this time, the voice sang:
“ Bid them dance the magic round.
’'Tis thus the lost one shall be found!â€
Then the King called to the fairies to begin
their dance, for he had had a message of joy.
And so that wonderful dance began, that men
have often dreamt of, and tried to paint in their
pictures, but never have seen. And as the
dancers went round and round, the hoop of the
battledore began to enlarge itself, and it grew
bigger and bigger, until, out of the hole in the
parchment, leaped the Princess Monica, into the
middle of the fairy ring.
I need hardly tell you what a tumult of joy
welcomed her; but you will like to hear what
had happened to her, and where she had been.
But this must begin another chapter.
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 239
CHAPTER II
WHEN the little Princess ran away from her
companions, and lay down to rest beneath the
oak-tree, she could not have known that at that
very moment, burrowing about beneath that
very spot, was the mischievous troll, Micro-
bacterion. If she had, she would not have
closed her eyes and given way to the sleepiness
that had come over her. But she went off as
soundly as Bo-peep herself; and then, out of an
earthworm’s hole, popped her tiny enemy. He
crawled up a stem of grass that brought him
close to her ear, and then he whispered to her
words that, if I were to write them down here,
"would make my book too small to be seen with-
out a microscope. Through her sleep she heard
them; and then she began to grow smaller and
smaller, and to change so in appearance, that at
last she looked just like a shuttlecock, with the
plumes of her crown for its feathers. And then,
as we know, her sisters took her to play with,
and it ended in her popping through the bat-
tledore, into the land of Jennesay Quaw—no
wonder, then, that the others could not find her!
And when she woke up, she was lying among
a quantity of feathers, at the bottom of a big
nest. She was still very small, but in other
240 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
ways was quite like herself again. Strange to
say, she did not feel in the least frightened, or
even surprised at what had happened to her;
but sat up, rubbed her eyes, and wondered
where she was. On the edge of the nest were
two curious-looking birds, who were attentively
examining her. They had on red velvet caps
and jackets, ornamented with gold braid ; their
wings were of stiff, white feathers, and their
tails of the same, the latter being set on exactly
as a shuttlecock’s feathers are ; and the Princess
saw at once that they must be a real live
shuttlecock and shuttlehen.
‘What on earth is this?†exclaimed the Bird
with the handsomest plumage. ‘“ What save
you been hatching out, my dear?â€
“T’m sure I don’t know what it is,†replied
the duller of the two. ‘I never saw anything
like it.â€
“IT -did, once,†said the Shuttlecock; ‘in a
toy-shop I lodged in. They called itado//. It
was full of saw-dust. This one is, too. Just
you peck her, and see.â€
But the Princess had no idea of submitting
to such rudeness ; so she stood up in the nest
and said, “I’m not.a dolly. Nuffing of the
sort! I’m a Princess; and I’m .Papa’s own
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THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 243
“ Then how did you come here?†asked the
Shuttlecock.
“IT comed right through the door,†said the
Princess.
“Which door?†asked the Shuttlehen
anxiously.
“ The battledore, of course,†said the Princess.
“ There’s no other door, is there ?â€
“ Certainly not,†said the Shuttlecock ; f but
what did you think of the battle?â€
_ “JT didn’t see any battle,†said the ‘Prin-
cess.
“Phen we must set that right at once,’ ’ said
the Bird. ‘Come along with me.’ gs
“Along what?†asked the Princess.
_ “Qh, along the air, I suppose,†said the Bird.
“Tt's not a long distance, at all events.†And
then he got into the bottom of the nest, beside
her. “Now j jump upon my back, and hold on,’
he said. _
The ane did as he desired, taking a firm
hold of the collar of his jacket ; and then away
he flew with her. They passed through what
would have seemed like a wood, only that,
instead of such trees as she had seen in Dream-
land, there were countless straight poles, most
of which were crowned with a variety of oad:
looking articles.
244 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
~ “T never did see such funny trees,†said the
Princess. ‘‘ What are they?†eon ak at
“That one, with the crock on top,†said the
Shuttlecock, “(is a pan-tree. The one beside it,
with nothing on top, is a simple pole-tree. The
one with the wheel is an axle-tree ; and that with
the saddle, a saddle-tree, of course. There's a
curious one—one of our rarest, I’m sorry to say.
It comes from the East, and we call it the Indus-
tree. Perhaps you'd like to see the poet-tree,â€
he added. ‘It’s a little out of our way, but it
‘is one of our greatest curiosities.â€
“If you please,†said the Princess. diets
The bird made a swerve in his flight, and
carried her to where it grew. It differed from
the rest in being topped by what looked like a
shock of long, lanky, black hair; immediately
below which hung what the Princess found
to be a quantity of leaves, indeed—but they
were leaves of paper, such as we find in
books. AOD
“Take one,†said the Shuttlecock. And the
‘THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 245
Princess put her hand out, as they flew past,
and pulled one off.
‘“* Now read it,†said the Bird.
So the Princess began, and read as follows:
THE TURNIP AND THE ELEPHANTS
A Turnip on a golden plate .
' Was elegantly lying,
While round it, consciously elate,
Three Elephants were flying.
They sang, “It seems to us that fops
Delight in eating turnip-tops !â€
And then they fell a-crying.
The Turnip wondered, as he heard
Their notes of lamentation ;
And thought them painfully absurd,
Nor suited to their station ;
For well he knew that merry chants
Are more befitting elephants
Than accents of vexation.
So up he stood, and thus he said
By way of admonition,
“JT think you surely are misled
To pity my condition.
‘You need not make, supposing fops
Do take to eating turnip-tops,
So sad an exhibition.
246 ‘THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
~ “You flutter in your airy rounds—
‘Though that itself is curious ;
Since elephants weigh many pounds, .
And lighter ones are spurious—
- Yet, if I really thought you felt
A pity, thus to make you melt,
I should be simply furious.
“T don’t know how you lost your size,
And managed to become bugs.
You don’t seem pretty to my eyes,
Or graceful, as are some bugs.
You're small ; but still you’re much too stout.
Get out, you hypocrites! Get out,
You three atrocious humbugs !â€
The Elephants, in mild alarm,
Said, “ This is unexpected !
We did not mean you any harm,
Or know that you objected.â€
And so they dried their eyes, and smiled,
And, since they had the Turnip riled,
Got out, as he directed,
“T fink I don’t gate understand that poem,â€
said the little Princess.
“ Neither do I,†said the Shuttlecock.
“ What did those ephalents get out of ?†asked
the Princess. ‘Was it out of a nest, like us?â€
“ Out of breath, like: me, perhaps,†replied the
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 247
Bird ; “or, perhaps, out of pocket. I often am,
with my large family.â€
“Out of whose pocket?†asked the Princess.
“ That's just what I can’t tell,†said the Bird.
“It’s the way we explain everything here, you
know.†bee Gee
“But you didn’t explain it at all,†said the
Princess. . ‘I don’t understand it, not one little
bit.â€
‘‘No matter,†said the Shuttlecock. “We
haven’t much farther to go.â€
CHAPTER III
By this time they were well out of the wood;
and the shuttlecock perched, panting for breath,
on a stump, by the side of a large green field. .
“T must leave you here,†he said to the
Princess. ‘‘ This is the field of battle ; but you
needn’t be afraid. They’re quite harmless, you
know.†i
. “Whoare they ?†asked the Princess, getting
off the shuttlecock’s: back. But she received
no answer, for the bird, without another word,
‘flew away into the wood again: so she sat
down on the stump, and waited for what might
happen next. Coa RSle
248 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
VL Re A
She had not long to wait ; for almost imme-
diately, a trumpet sounded, and in through a
gate of the field rode a procession of richly
dressed men, with a like number of women, on
horseback. The herald went before them, still
blowing his trumpet, and led the way to the
middle of the field, where they all drew up ina
circle, and bowed very low to each other. Then
the herald, who was in the centre of the ring,
began bowing to each in turn; and as there
_-were more than a hundred of them, and he
seemed very much pressed for time, he bobbed
up and down—just like a jack-in-a-box, the
Princess thought. When he had finished this,
he blew his trumpet again, and then all the
equestrians drew up in two rows, and sat facing
each other.
Again the herald trumpeted, and shouted out,
“O yes! O yes! O yes! Know all men by
‘these presents ee .
“‘T don’t See any presents,†shouted one of
the men on horseback. ‘“ What have you done
with them ?â€
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 249
“T really am very sorry, your Majesty,â€
replied the Herald; “but I hadn’t time to buy
any this morning.†!
“Then you ought to be ashamed of yourself,â€
said the man who was enormously stout, wore
a suit of armour, and had a strong French
accent. ‘You can’t go on with your proclama-
tion without the presents, you know. I suppose
I must send some one to fetch them. Who will
go?†he asked, turning to the others.
‘Send my Teddy,†said another very stout
gentleman, in a large hat with a plume of
hanging feathers, which he wore very much
on the side of his head. ‘He's a steady
boy, William, and used to being ordered
about.â€
“My Teddy’s the youngest,†said another
man, in a robe trimmed with rich fur, with a
plumed cap on his head ; “and, besides, he’s
best out of his uncle’s way.â€
‘“‘T quite agree with you there, Ned,†said a
‘little hunchbacked man, also very richly dressed.
“Get rid of the kids—that’s my principle.
Better send them both, Bill.â€
The fat man, who had first spoken, beckoned
to two boys—one of them a mere child, who
had taken part in the procession; and, giving
them a whispered message, sent them riding off
aso THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
‘on their ponies in great glee. ‘‘ Now,†he-said,
turning to the herald, ‘what are we to do next?
We can’t possibly fight until after the procla-
‘mation, you know.†PM atie tia eae
“Please, your Majesty,†said the Herald, “1
really don’t know. I must go home and look
up the precedents; unless, indeed—Oh! dear
me! she’s off again!†die eae
This exclamation was called forth by the
sight of an old lady on a white horse, who had
broken out of the ranks suddenly, and was
cantering round the field in the most absurd
manner. She had on an extremely stiff dress
‘of gold brocade, and wore an enormous ruff
round her neck, that came high above her head.
But the most curious thing about her was that
her feet were bare, and to each of her toes was
attached a little bell ; and as she cantered along
the bells jingled quite musically; and, when
they heard them, all the rest of the equestrians
began cantering after her.
The herald, who was left alone, seemed greatly
annoyed at this. He took his trumpet, and blew
it till the Princess Monica thought he would
‘burst his cheeks, but the others took no notice
of him. Then a happy thought seemed to strike
him, and, climbing up on another stump, near
where she sat, he shouted out, ‘Once round is
‘THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE = 251
one revolution! No more kings or queens for
the present!†2 gcn) a ema oiea sy
In an instant, all the horses, with their riders,
disappeared ; and the last thing the Princess
saw of the herald was, that he was kicking out,
at the gate, a vulgar-looking man, with a coarse,
disagreeable face, and saying to him, “ Out you
go, Noll. Don’t let me catch you sneaking in
among your betters again.â€
They had hardly gone, when the Princess
heard a fluttering of wings, and down from
among the trees flew the shuttlecock with an-
other paper leaf in his mouth, which he gave her.
‘Dear, dear!†he exclaimed, “I fear I’m
late. I had to go back, you know. Did you
see the battle? Who conquered this time ?â€
“ ‘They never fighted at all,†said the Princess ;
“they only played at ‘circus,’ and the clowns
weren't a bit funny. They’ve just gone out of
the gate—the clowns have.â€
“That’s just my luck!†said the Bird; “I
always come late for history. Perhaps there’s
something about it in the paper, though. It’s
the latest leaf from the poet-tree. Read it.â€
“Why, it’s all about my own self!†exclaimed
the Princess; “and it’s all true, too.â€
‘Too true, too true!†said the Shuttlecock
sadly, shaking his head.
252 ‘THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
‘‘T fink you’re a very silly bird,†said the
Princess. “ But it ata happen. Really, you
know.†| :
‘“‘ Read on, then,†said the Shuttlecock. And
the Princess read :
THE TWO ’POSSUMS
ee was an Opossum lived up in a tree:
Opossum ! Opossum! Opossum !
A round little, fat little fellow was he.
Opossum ! Opossum ! Opossum !
He climbed about fast with his four little legs ;
He caught little birdies ; he sucked little eggs,
And emptied the egg-shells quite down to the dregs :
This’Possum! this’Possum! this’Possum !
One night this fat "Possum was prowling around ;
Opossum ! Opossum! Opossum !
He saw a small girlie come over the ground.
Opossum ! Opossum ! Opossum f
_ , And as the wee girlie quite close to him came,
He never was frightened, but sat there quite tame,
And said, “ Little girlie, pray, what is your name?â€
Miss’Possum! Miss’Possum! Miss’Possum f°
She replied, “ Mr. "Possum, I think you can tell,
‘Opossum ! Opossum ! Opossum !
Without asking, my name ; for you know it quite well.
Opossum ! Opossum ! Opossum f
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 253
It is one that you've often heard mentioned before ;
Written down on your cards, written up on your door.
If you'll keep it a secret, I'll tell you once more, .
Tis Possum, 'tis’Possum, 'tis’Possum !â€
-When the. ’Possum heard that, he was going to en
Opossum! Opossum! Opossum !-
‘But he stopped, and said wisely, “Come, none of your chaff!â€
_ Opossum! Opossum! Opossum !
‘But the girl said, “1 don’t mean to chaff in the least.
‘We have one name between us, you dear little beast :
.So come—since ‘ enough is as good as a feast,’
Kiss Possum ! kiss'Possum! kiss’Possum !â€
‘“ And did he?†asked the Shuttlecock. —
“No,†said the little Princess; ‘he said he
didn’t know how. But I kissed him on his fur.
I like kissing furry things. I don’t like kissing
fevvérs, though,†she added hastily, fearing lest
the bird might want to take liberties.
But the shuttlecock was not attending to her.
He was looking up at the sun, and seemed to
be engaged in some calculation. Presently he
said, “It’s half-past three o'clock. Time for
geography | Jump up!â€
The Princess Monica saw that he meant hee
to take her place upon his back again, so she
did as he desired, and away ehey flew across the
battle-field.
254 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
CHAPTER IV
As soon as they crossed the hedge, on the side
farthest from the wood, they came into one of
the very oddest-looking places the Princess had
ever seen. It was something like a great
ploughed field, every furrow of which went
down, to an extraordinary depth, into the earth,
making the ridges between look like the leaves
of a book set upright on its back, and partly
opened. The shuttlecock paused, hovering in
his flight, over these, and said, “‘ Now, here we
are. Which country shall we learn?â€
“I didn’t come here for lessons,†said the
Princess. |
- “Neither did I,†said the Bird; “we must
keep them out of our story, mustn’t we? But
this geography has got to be done; and if we
don’t do it, somebody else will, and all the part
about it will have to be left out. You can skip
it, if you don’t like it, you know.â€
“T think, if you please, I’d rather skip it,â€
said the Princess.
“But you've no skipping-rope!†exclaimed
the Bird. “Wait here a minute, and I'll go for
one.â€
So saying, he alighted on top of one of the
ridges, and made the Princess climb off his
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 255
back and sit on the ridge, with her feet dang-
ling into the furrow in front of her. Then he
flew rapidly away; but no. sooner had he gone
than.the Princess found a change coming over
the place. The furrow before her began to
widen, just like a book opening! and she felt
the ridge she sat on fall away backwards,
beneath her, giving her the sensation of going
down in a lift. She was. not frightened; but
for a moment she felt sick and dizzy, and’ closed
her eyes.
When she opened them again, she found
herself standing on the side of a mountain,
looking down into a very: beautiful valley, into.
which. the furrow had evidently opened’ out.
There was another mountain on the other side
rising very high into the air, with all its upper
parts covered with snow and ice. Dark pine-
woods: bordered the valley on both sides, and
at the bottom were rich green meadows, with
a rapid stream of water running through them.
But all was on a miniature scale, like a beauti-
fully constructed model, and. the little Princess
felt herself very large indeed, in comparison
with everything round her. )
“Oh, dear me!†she thought; “I was so
nice and wee just now; and here I am turned
into. a giantess. JI do hope I’m only a
256 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
giantess, and not an ogre! That would be
horrid.†Li i a
As she thought this, there came, running out
of one of the pine-woods, a number of little
men, who seemed extremely busy. The Princess
hid herself, as well as she could, among the
trees, so that the sight of her should not alarm
them, and listened to their conversation, or
rather, their shouting to one another : ah
“Now! That way, Jack,†cried one. “ Not
so fast! You're getting out of the line.â€
_ “No, it’s you that’s out of the line, Tom.
Steady! Catch holdin the middle, Joe! Don’t
let her tangle. Now just go on with that
meridian. Hurry, too, or theyll be coming
before the map’s ready.†;
“We've got it straight now, but we can’t set
it rightly north and south,†said the first
speaker. ‘‘ Will any of you chaps fetch a com-
pass?†f |
“You go, Joe,†said a gruff voice. ‘You
have a pair of compasses, haven’t you ?â€
. “Yes,†replied Joe; “and a precious pair
they are, too! Been boxing one another all the
morning, till they haven’t a leg left between
them to stand on.â€
“No matter, pull it straight, and lay it down
anyhow,†said the gruff one. “Anything is
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 257
good enough for them to joggrify this place
with. Hullo! What’s that ?â€
The diversion was caused by the sudden
appearance of the shuttlecock, who suddenly
swooped down among them. The Princess
Monica looked out from her hiding-place, and
saw the little men scattering in all directions ;
while the bird picked up a rope from the ground,
which had evidently been the central object of
all the excitement, and flew to her, carrying it
-in its beak.
“Your skipping-rope, my dear,†he said. ‘If
you had only told me where it was, you might
have been spared all this geography.â€
“But you didn’t give me time,†said the
Princess.
‘Tt wasn’t mine to give,†said the Bird ; “but,
as I said before, no matter. Do you know
where we are now?â€
CINOM said). tne. ieringess: “where. ate
we?â€
“Borrioboola Gha, my dear, and no less.
Beautiful spot, isn’t it? Stop a moment—I’ve
some rhymes about it here. Got them from
the poet-tree when I was passing. Read
them.â€
The little Princess was amused at the shuttle-
cock’s peremptory way of ordering her to read
R
258 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
to him ; and she thought he might at least have
said, “ if you please.†Still, she took the leaf
he held out to her, and read as follows: -
BORRIOBOOLA GHA
There sat three knaves on the top of a hill,
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
And (for all that I know) they are sitting see still.
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
And they looked at each other with furtive eyes,
Till one of them muttered, in glad surprise,
‘“‘There’s a run on the market, and pigs will rise!â€
Borrioboola Gha.
Then the first of them looked at the back of his head—
Borrtoboola, Borrioboola.
It’s not easy to do, but he did it ; and said,
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
“A rise in pigs means a plenty of swine ;
And I think I had better go see about mine,
As my poor cerebellum is eager to dine.â€
Borrioboola Gha.
And the second, he hid in his own inside—
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
It’s not easy to do, but he did it; and cried,
Borrioboola, Borrtoboola.
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 259
“A rise in pigs is a pigs’ insurrection ;
And I’m going in here as the surest protection,
For I wish, as you see, to avoid the infection.â€
Borrioboola Gha.
But the third, he grew honest, and wise, and good—
Borrioboola, Borrioboola,
It’s not easy to do, but he did it ; and cooed,
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
“ A rise in pigs is a porcine ascent ;
And if I were a pig I should feel content.â€
But I don’t think the other two knew what he meant.
Borrioboola Gha.
Now each of them sits on the bridge of his nose—
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
It’s not easy to do, but he does it. Which shows
Borrioboola, Borrioboola.
That if you are eager, and wary, and wise,
And look out fora market with pigs on the rise,
You may see many things without shutting your eyes. -
Borrioboola Gha.
“T fink that’s the foolishest nonsense I ever
read,†said. the Princess Monica.
‘Not if you try to live up to it,†said the
Shuttlecock. ‘I keep my eyes wide open, and
so I see lots of things—bird’s-eye views, you
know, and panoramas, and things of that sort.â€
260 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
“T should so like to see a panorama,†said
the Princess. ‘I’ve seen three circuses, and a
pantomime, and Punch-and-Judy—I liked that
best: but I’ve never seen a panorama.â€
“That must be set right, too, then,†said the
Shuttlecock. ‘ Look over there.â€
The Princess looked across the valley, and
saw that the mountain on the opposite side had
begun to move along sideways. At first it went
very slowly, but afterwards began to go faster ;
and as it went along, it was followed by more
scenery, looking like an enormous painting as
it passed. The Princess did not at first recog-
nise any of the views, but at length they seemed
to become more familiar, and when the
panorama at last stood still, there was a splendid
picture of the valley of Dreamland, with its
river of silver, and its rainbow bridge leading
into her own dear home, which from the time
that Microbacterion had spoken to her, she had
utterly forgotten. ;
“Oh!†she almost screamed, ‘there's our
Castle! And Tm not there. I’m sure I ought
to go back again. They don’t know where I
am, and they'll fink I’m losted.†ue
_ “Why?†said the Bird; “didn’t they know
you were coming?â€
“Nobody knowed, but me; and I didn't
THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE 261
know myself,†said the Princess. “I went
asleep under a tree, ‘cause it was so warm; and
then somefing buzzed in my ear; and then I
just tumbled through the battledore, into your
nest.â€
“That looks like some of Microbacterion’s
mischief,†said the Bird. “But he can’t hurt
your sort, you know—only sends them to
Jennesay Quaw now and then for a while. But
ll set that right, too. Just you wait here a
minute.†So saying, he flew away down to the
bottom of the pine-wood, and quickly returned,
carrying the ugly troll in his claws.
“Now,†he said to the: Princess, ‘ watch
me!†And then he flew straight across the
valley, and dashed the troll against the picture
of Dreamland. The hideous thing disappeared
at once, seeming to sink into the trunk of a tree,
which the Princess recognised as the very one
she had fallen asleep beneath.
Then the Shuttlecock flew back. ‘‘ He’s gone
to tell them you're coming,†he said; “so don’t
be afraid, but jump on my back again, and shut
your eyes tight.â€
The Princess did so, and, in a moment, found
herself being carried through the air much faster
than before. Then came a crash, and, lo and
behold !—she was standing in the middle of the
262 THROUGH THE BATTLEDORE
ee with the torn parchment about her
ect.
And we know the rest of the story.. It is the
last of our Dreamland tales—for the present, at
least. Perhaps, some other day, we may hear
more about King Longbeard, his family, and
his subjects.
A New Game for Winter Evenings
CHESSETTE
BY
BARRINGTON MACGREGOR
This is quite an original game, calling for per-
haps more skill, but exciting far more interest
than most of the games of little more than chance
now popular.
It is played on a board with pieces of various
powers, resembling those used in Chess, and is
arranged for two or four players.
PRICE ONE SHILLING
Postage Threepence
TO BE HAD OF ALL STATIONERS AND (WHOLESALE ONLY) OF
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Holborn, W.C.
London
|