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TOM SAWYER ABROAD
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A TRAMP ABROAD. With 314 Illustrations.
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A YANKEE AT THE COURT OF KING ARTHUR.
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Lonpon: CHATTO & WINDUS, a1q PiccapiLiy, W.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD
BY.
MARK TWAIN
(SAMUEL L, CLEMENS)
WITH 26 ILLUSTRATIONS BY DAN. BEARD
London
CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY
1894
PRINTED BY
SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE
LONDON
“LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
PAGE
‘Wr carcHED A Lor or THE Nicest FisH you EVER
SEE’ ; . . . ; ; . . Frontispiece
‘Wer went ovuT In tur Woops on THE Hiny, anp Tom trop
us WHat IT was. IT was A CrusapE’ : : - 3 12
‘Hr wound HAVE RAISED A CourLE or THousAND Kyiauts,
AND BRUSHED THE WHOLE PayNim OUTFIT INTO THE SEA’ = 18
‘Her SAID HE WOULD SAIL HIS BALLOON AROUND THE GuoseE,
JUST TO SHOW WHAT HE COULD DO’ . . : » 2. 27
‘AND HERE was NIGHT COMING ON’ . : . . . 29
‘Tur Proressorn SAID HE WOULD KEEP UP THIS HutunpREp-
MILE Garr TILL To-morrow AFTERNOON, AND THEN HE’D.
LAND IN Lonpon’ . . . . . . » . 61
‘“ You want TO LEAVE ME. Don’r TRY TO DENY IT’’’ . 62
“Tur THUNDER BOOMED, AND THE LIGHTNING GLARED, AND
THE WIND SUNG AND SCREAMED IN THE RicGInG’ . . 57
“«Run! nun ro’ yo’ Lirr!â€â€™ . . . . : . 69
‘Tury WERE JUMPING UP At THE LADDER, AND SNAPPING
AND SNARLING AT EACH OTHER’ . 7 . - . . 972
‘WE SWOOPED DOWN, NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, AND STOPPED
81
ABOUT A HUNDRED YARDS OVER THEIR Hxraps’ 7 .
viii LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
THE LAst MAN TO GO SNATCHED UP A CHILD AND CARRIED
IT OFF IN FRONT OF HIM ON HIs Horse’ . : .
‘WE COME A-WHIZZING DOWN AND MADE A SwooP, AND KNOCKED
HIM OUT OF THE SADDLE, CHILD AND ALL? .
‘«Wuenn’s your Man now?� . : . . : :
‘“ AND WHERE’S YOUR RaILRoaD, ’LONGSIDE oF A Fura?�.
‘« Tar FLEA WOULD BE PrrsipENT or THE UNITED STATES,
AND YOU COULDN’T PREVENT IT� . 7 ; . :
‘Wr OPENED THE Box, anpD It HAD GEMS AND JEWELS IN IT’
‘AND ALL THIS TIME THE Lions AND TIGERS WAS SORTING
OUT THE CLOTHES’. . : . : . : :
Tue Camet Driver 1x tHe TrREAsvRE CAVE . : a
In tHE SAND-stoRM . . : . . . 7 ;
‘WHEN THEY DANCED WE J’INED IN AND SHOOK A Foor vp .
THERE’ . . > : . . : . oe
Tur Weppine Procession . . . . : . :
‘JIM HAD BEEN STANDING A SIEGE A Lona TIME’ . toe
‘“ THEY'LL HAVE TO APOLOGISE AND PAY AN INDEMNITY, 'T00,â€
saip Tom’ A . . an . . . .
Tom Sawver’s Map or tHE Trip. : . . oo
Tur Departure ror Home. ‘AND AWAY SHE DID GO’ .
PAGE
83
04
107
124
143
157
160
163
183
TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER I
Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all
them adventures? I mean the adventures we had
down the river the time we set the nigger Jim
free and Tom got shot in the leg. No, he wasn’t.
It only just p’isoned him for more. That was all the
effects it had. You see, when we three come back
up the river in glory, as you may say, from: that
long travel, and the village received us with a
torchlight procession and speeches, and everybody
hurrah’d and shouted, and some got drunk, it made
us heroes, and that was what Tom Sawyer had
always been hankerin’ to be. ;
For a while he was satisfied. Hverybody made
much of him, and he tilted up his nose and stepped
B
2 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
around the town like he owned it. Some called
him Tom Sawyer the Traveller, and that just
swelled him up fit to bust. You see, he laid over
me and Jim considerable, because we only went
down the river on a raft and come back by the
steamboat, but Tom went by the steamboat both
ways. The boys envied me and Jim a good deal,
but land! they just knuckled to the dirt before
Tom.
Well, I don’t know; maybe he might have been
satisfied if it hadn’t been for old Nat Parsons,
which was postmaster, and powerful long and slim,
and kind of good-hearted, and silly, and bald-
headed, on accounts of his age, and ’most about the
talkiest old animal I ever see. For as much as
thirty years he’d been the only man in the village
that had a ruputation—I mean a ruputation for
being a traveller—and of course he was mortal
proud of it, and it was reckoned that in the course
of that thirty years he had told about that journey
over a woillion times, and enjoyed it every time ; and
now comes along a boy not quite fifteen and sets -
everybody gawking and admiring over his travels,
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 3
and it just give the poor old thing the jim-jams.
It made him sick to listen to Tom and hear the
people say, ‘ My land!’ ‘ Did you ever ?’ ‘ My good-
ness sakes alive!’ and all them sorts of things ; but
he couldn’t pull away from it, any more than a fly
that’s got its hind leg fast in the molasses. And
always when Tom come to a rest, the poor old
eretur would chip in on his same old travels and
work them for all they was worth; but they was
pretty faded and didn’t go for much, .and it was
pitiful to see. And then Tom would take another
innings, and then the old man again—and so on,
and so on, for an hour and more, each trying to
sweat out the other.
You see, Parsons’ travels happened like this.
When he first got to be postmaster and was green
in the business, there was a letter come for some-
body he didn’t know, and there wasn’t any such
person in the village. Well, he didn’t know what
to do nor how to act, and there the letter stayed
and stayed, week in and week out, till the bare
sight of it give him the dry gripes. The postage
wasn’t paid on it, and that was another thing to
BQ
4 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
worry about. There wasn’t any way to collect that
ten cents, and he reckoned the Gov’ment would
hold him responsible for it, and maybe turn him
out besides, when they found he hadn’t collected
it. Well, at last he couldn’t stand it any longer.
He couldn’t sleep nights, he couldn’t eat, he was
thinned down to a shadder, yet he dasn’t ask any-
body’s advice, for the very person he asked for the
advice might go back on him and let the Gov’ment
know about that letter. He had the letter buried
under the floor, but that didn’t do no good: if he
happened to see a person standing over the place it
give him the cold shivers, and loaded him up with
suspicions, and he would set up that night till the
town was still and dark, and then ke would sneak
there and get it out and bury it in another place.
Of course people got to avoiding him, and shaking
their heads and whispering, because the way he
was looking and acting they judged he had killed
somebody or done something they didn’t know
what—and if he had been a stranger they would
’a’ lynched him.
Well, as I was saying, it got so he couldn’t
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 5
stand it any longer; so he made up his mind to
pull out for Washington and just go to the Presi-
dent of the United States and make a clean breast
of the whole thing, not keeping back an atom, and
then fetch the letter out and lay her down before
the whole Gov’ment and say, ‘ Now, there she is—
do with me what you’re a mind to; though, as
heaven is my judge, I am an innocent man and not’
deserving of the full penalties of the law, and
leaving behind me a family which must starve and
yet ain’t had a thing to do with it, which is the
truth, and I can swear to it.’
Sohe done it. He hada little wee bit of steam-
boating, and some stage-coaching, but all the rest
of the way was horseback, and took him three
weeks to get to Washington. He saw lots of land,
and lots of villages, and four cities. He was gone
"most eight weeks, and there never was such a proud
man in the village as when he got back. His
travels made him the greatest man in all that
region, and the most talked about; and people
come from as much as thirty miles back in the
country, and from over in the Ililnois bottoms, too,
6 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
- just to look at him—and there they’d stand and
gawk, and he’d gabble. You never see anything
like it.
Well, there wasn’t any way, now, to settle which
was the greatest traveller; some said it was Nat,
some said it was Tom. Everybody allowed that
Nat had seen the most longitude, but they had to
give in that whatever Tom was short in longitude
he had made up in latitude and climate. It was
about a stand-off; so both of them had to whoop
up their dangersome adventures, and try to get
ahead that way. That bullet-wound in Tom’s leg
was a tough thing for Nat Parsons to buck against,
but he done the best he could; done it at a dis-
advantage, too, for Tom didn’t set still, as he’d
orter done, to be fair, but always got up and
santered around and worked his limp whilst Nat
was painting up the adventure that he had one day
in Washington; for Tom never let go that limp
after his leg got well, but practised it nights at
home, and kept it as good as new right along.
Nat’s adventure was like this—and I will say this
for him, that he did know how to tell it. He could
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 7
make anybody’s flesh crawl, and turn pale and hold
his breath when he told it, and sometimes women
and girls got so faint they couldn’t stick it out.
Well, it was this way, as near as I can remember :
He come a-loping into Washington and put up
his horse and shoved out to the President’s house
with his letter, and they told him the President was
up to the Capitol and just going to start for Phila-
delphia—not a minute to lose if he wanted to catch
him. Nat ’most dropped, it made him so sick,
His horse was-put up, and he didn’t know what to
do. But justthen along comes a nigger driving an
old ramshackly hack, and he see his chance. He
rushes out and shouts:
‘A half a dollar if you git me to the Capitol in
a half an hour, and a quarter extra if you do it in’
twenty minutes !’
‘Done!’ says the nigger.
Nat he jumped in and slammed the door, and
away they went, a-ripping and a-tearing over the
roughest road a body ever see, and the racket of it
was something awful. Nat passed his arms through
the loops and hung on for life and death, but pretty
8 - TOM SAWYER ABROAD
soon the hack hit a rock and flew up in the air, and
the bottom fell out, and when it come down Nat’s
feet was on the ground, and he see he was in the
most desperate danger if he couldn’t keep up with
the hack. He was horrible scared, but he laid into
his work for all he was worth, and hung tight
to the arm-loops and made his legs fairly fly. He
yelled and shouted to the driver to stop, and so did
the crowds along the street, for they could see his
legs spinning along under the coach and his head
and shoulders bobbing inside, through the windows,
and knowed he was in awful danger ; but the more
they all shouted the more the nigger whooped and
yelled, and lashed the horses, and said, ‘ Don’t you
fret—l’s gwyne to git you dah in time, boss; I’s
gwyne to do it sho’!’ for you see he thought they
was all hurrying him up, and of course he couldn’t
hear anything for the racket he was making. And
so they went ripping along, and everybody just
petrified and cold to see it; and when they got to
the Capitol at last it was the quickest trip that ever
was made, and everybody said so. The horses laid
down, and Nat dropped, all tuckered out, and then
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 9
they hauled him out, and he was all dust and rags,
and barefooted; but he was in time, and just in
time, and caught the President and give him the
letter, and everything was all right, and the
President give him a free pardon on the spot, and
Nat give the nigger two extra quarters instead of
one, because he could see that if he hadn’t had the
hack he wouldn’t ’a’ got there in time, nor anywhere
near it.
It was a powerful good adventure, and Tom -
Sawyer had to work his bullet-wound mighty lively
to hold his own and keep his end up against it.
Well, by-and-by Tom’s glory got to paling
down gradu’ly, on accounts of other things turning
up for the people to talk about— first a horse-race,
and on top of that a house afire, and on top of that
the circus, and on top of that a big auction of
niggers, and on top of that the eclipse; and that
started a revival, same as it always does, and by
that time there warn’t no more talk about Tom to
speak of, and you never see a person so sick and
disgusted. Pretty soon he got to worrying and
fretting right along, day in and day out, and when
10 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
I asked him what was he in such a state about, he
said it ’most broke his heart to think how time was
slipping away, and him getting older and older, and
no wars breaking out and no way of making a name
for himself that he could see. Now, that is the way
boys is always thinking, but he was the first one I
ever heard come out and say it.
So then he set to work to get up a plan to make
him celebrated, and pretty soon he struck it, and
offered to take me and Jim in. Tom Sawyer was
always free and generous that way. There’s plenty
of boys that’s mighty good and friendly when you’ve
got a good thing, but when a good thing happens to
come their way they don’t say a word to you, and try
to hog it ail. That warn’t ever Tom Sawyer’s style—
Ican say that for him. There’s plenty of boys that
will come hankering and gruvvelling around when
you’ve got an apple, and beg the core off you; but
when they’ve got one, and you beg for the core and
remind them how you give them a core one time,
. they make a mouth at you and say thank you ’most
to death, but there ain’t a-going to be no core. But
I notice they always git come up with ; all you got
TOM SAWYER ABROAD II
to dois to wait. Jake Hooker always done that
way, and it warn’t two years till he got drownded.
Well, we went out in the woods on the hill, and
Tom told us what it was. It was a crusade.
‘ What’s a crusade ?’ I says.
He looked scornful, the way he’s always done
when he was ashamed of a person, and says:
‘Huck Finn, do you mean to tell me you don’t
know what a crusade is ?’
‘No,’ says I, ‘I don’t. And I don’t care,
nuther. I’ve lived till now and done without it, and
had my health, too. But as soon as you tell me, Pll
know, and that’s soon enough. I don’t see no use
in finding out things and clogging my head up with
them when I mayn’t ever have any occasion for
them. There was Lance Williams, he learnt how
to talk Choctaw, and there warn’t ever a Choctaw
here till one come and dug his grave for him. Now,
then, what’s a crusade? But I can tell you one thing
before you begin: if it’s a patent-right, there ain’t
no money in it. Bill Thompson he——’
‘ Patent-right!’ he says. ‘I never see such an
idiot. Why, a crusade is a kind of a war.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD
IT WAS A CRUSADE’
‘WE WENT OUT IN THE WOODS ON THE HILL, AND TOM TOLD US WHAT IT WAS.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 13
IT thought he must be losing his mind. But no ;
he was in real earnest, and went right on, perfectly
cam :
‘A crusade is a war to recover the Holy Land
from the paynim.’
‘Which Holy Land ?’
‘Why, the Holy Land—there ain’t but one.’
‘What do we want of it ?’
‘Why, can’t you understand ? It’s in the hands
of the paynim, and it’s our duty to take it away
from them.’
‘How did we come to let them git hold of it?’
‘We didn’t come to let them git hold of it.
They always had it.’
‘Why, Tom, then it must belong to them, don’t
it?’
“Why, of course it does. Who said it didn’t?’
I studied over it, but couldn’t seem to git at the
rights of it no way. I says:
‘It’s too many for me, Tom Sawyer. If I had
a farm, and it was mine, and another person
wanted it, would it be right for him to—
‘Oh, shucks! you don’t know enough to come
14 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
in when it rains, Huck Finn. It ain’t a farm—it’s
entirely different. You see, it’s like this. They
own the land, just the mere land, and that’s all
they do own; but it was our folks, our Jews and
Christians, that made it holy, and so they haven’t
any business to be there defiling it. It’s a shame,
and we oughtn’t to stand it a minute. We ought
to march against them and take it away from
them.’
‘Why, it does seem to me it’s the most mixed-
up thing I ever see. Now, if I had a farm, and
another person——’
‘Don’t I tell you it hasn’t got anything to do
with farming? Farming is business ; just common
low-down worldly business, that’s allit is—it’s all
you can say for it; but this is higher—this is
religious, and totally different.’
‘Religious to go and take the land away from
the people that owns it?’
‘Certainly! it’s always been considered go.’
Jim he shook his head and says:
‘Mars Tom, I reckon dey’s a mistake about it
somers—dey mos’ sholy is. I’s religious myself, en
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 15
I knows plenty religious people, but I hain’t run
acrost none dat acts like dat.’
It made Tom hot, and he says:
‘Well, it’s enough to make a body sick, such
mullet-headed ignorance. If either of you knowed
anything about history, you’d know that Richard
Cur de Lyon, and the Pope, and Godfrey de Bulloyn,
and lots more of the most noble-hearted and pious
people in the world hacked and hammered at the
paynims for more than two hundred years trying
to take their land away from them, and swum neck-
deep in blood the whole time—and yet here’s a
couple of sap-headed country yahoos out in the
backwoods of Missouri setting themselves up to _
know more about the rights and the wrongs of it
than they did! Talk about cheek!’
Well, of course that put a more different light
on it, and me and Jim felt pretty cheap and
ignorant, and wished we hadn’t been quite so
chipper. I couldn’t say nothing, and Jim he
couldn’t for a while; then he says:
‘Well, den, I reckon it’s all right, beca’ze ef dey
didn’t know, dey ain’t no use for po’ ignorant folks
_ 16 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
like us to be tryin’ to know; en 50, ef it’s our duty,
we got to go en tackle it en do de bes’ we kin.
Same time, I feel as sorry for dem paynims as
Mars Tom. Dehard part gwyne to be to kill folks
dat a body hain’t ’quainted wid and hain’t done
him no harm. Dat’s it, you see. Ef we uz to go
"mongst ’em, jist us three, and say we’s hungry, en
ast ’em for a bite to eat, why maybe dey’s jist like
yuther people en niggers—don’t you reckon dey is ?
Why, dey’d give it, I know dey would ; en den——’
‘Then what?’
‘Well, Mars Tom, my idea is like dis. It ain’t
“no. use, we can’t kill dem po’ strangers dat ain’t
doin’ us no harm, till we’ve had practice—I knows it
perfectly well, Mars Tom—’deed, I knows it per-
fectly well. But ef we takes a’ axe or two, jist you
en me en Huck, en slips acrost de river to-night
arter de moon’s gone down, en kills dat sick fambly
dat’s over on de Sny, en burns dey house down,
en——’ ;
‘Oh, shut your head! “you make me tired. I
don’t want to argue no more with people like.you
and Huck Finn, that’s always wandering from the
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 17
subject and ain’t got any more sense. than to try to
reason out a thing that’s pure theology by the laws
that. protects real estate.’
Now, that’s just where Tom Sawyer warn’t fair.
Jim didn’t mean no harm, and I didn't mean no
harm. We knowed well enough that he was right
and we was wrong, and all we was after was to get
at the how of it—that was all; and the only
reason he couldn’t explain it so we could understand
it was because we was ignorant—yes, and pretty
dull, too, Iain’t denying that ; but land! that ain’t
no crime, I should think.
But he wouldn’t hear no more about it; just
said if we had tackled the thing in a proper spirit
he would ‘a’ raised a couple of thousand knights
and put them up in steel armour from head to heel,
and made me a lieutenant and Jim a sutler, and
took the command himself, and brushed the whole
paynim outfit into the sea like flies, and come back
_ across the world in a glory like sunset. But he
said we didn’t know enough to take the chance
when we had it, and he wouldn’t ever offer it again.
C
18 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
And he didn’t. When he once got set, you couldn’t
budge him.
But I didn’t care much. I am peaceable, and
don’t get up no rows with people that ain’t doing
‘HE WOULD HAVE RAISED A COUPLE OF
THOUSAND KNIGHTS, AND BRUSHED THE
WHOLE PAYNIM OUTFIT INTO THE SRA’
nothing to me. I allowed if
the paynims was satisfied I
was, and we would let it stand
at that.
Now, Tom he got all that wild notion out of
Walter Scott’s books, which he was always reading. -
And it was a wild notion, because in my opinion
he never could ’a’ raised the men, and if he did, as
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 19
like as not he would ’a’ got licked. I took the
books and read all about it, and as near as I
could make it out, most of the folks that shook
farming to go crusading had a mighty rocky time
of it.
c2
20 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER II
Wet, Tom got up one thing after another, but
they all had sore places in them somewheres, and
he had to shove them aside. So at last he was
‘most about in despair. Then the St. Louis papers
begun to talk a good deal about the balloon that
was going to sail to Europe, and Tom sort of
thought he wanted to go down and see what it
looked like, but couldn’t make up his mind. But
the papers went on talking, and so he allowed that
maybe if he didn’t go he mightn’t ever have
another chance to see a balloon; and next, he
found out that Nat Parsons was going down to see
it, and that decided him, of course. He wasn’t
going to have Nat Parsons coming back bragging
about seeing the balloon and him having to listen
to it and keep his head shut. So he wanted me
and Jim to go too, and we went.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 21
It was a noble big balloon, and had wings, and
fans, and all sorts of things, and wasn’t like any
balloon that is in the pictures. It was away out
towards the edge of town, in a vacant lot corner of
Twelfth Street, and there was a big crowd around it
making fun of it, and making fun of the man—
which was a lean, pale feller with that soft kind of
moonlight in his eyes, you know—and they kept say-
ing it wouldn’t go. It made him hot to hear them,
and he would turn on them and shake his fist and
say they was animals and blind, but some day they
would find they'd stood face to face with one of the
men that lifts up nations and makes civilisations,
and was too dull to know it, and right here on this
spot their own children and grandchildren would
build a monument to him that would last a thou-
sand years, but his name would outlast the monu-
ment; and then the crowd would burst out in a
laugh again, and yell at him, and ask him what was
his name before he was married, and what he would
take to don’t, and what was his sister’s cat’s grand-
mother’s name, and all them kind of things that a
crowd says when they’ve got hold of a feller they
_ 22 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
see they can plague. Well, the things they said
was funny—yes, and mighty witty too, I ain’t
denying that; but all the same it warn’t fair nor
brave, all them people pitching on one, and they
so glib and sharp, and him without any gift of talk
to answer back with. But good land! what did he
want to sass back for? You see, it couldn’t do him
no good, and it was just nuts for them. They had
him, you know. But that was his way; I reckon
he couldn’t help it: he was made so, I judge. He
was a good enough sort of a cretur, and hadn’t no
harm in him, and was just a genius, as the papers
said, which wasn’t his fault. We can’t all be sound :
we've got to be the way we are made. As near as
I can make out, geniuses think they know it all,
and so they won’t take people’s advice, but always
go their own way, which makes everybody forsake
them and despise them, and that is perfectly
natural. If they was humbler, and listened and
tried to learn, it would be better for them.
The part the professor was in was like a boat,
and was big and roomy, and had water-tight
lockers around the inside to keep all sorts of things
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 23
in, and a body could set on them and make beds on
them too. We went aboard, and there was twenty
people there, snooping around and examining, and
old Nat Parsons was there too. The professor kept
fussing around getting ready, and the people went
ashore, drifting out one at a time, and old Nat he
was thelast. Of courseit wouldn’t do to let him go
out behindus. We mustn’t budge till he was gone,
so we could be last ourselves.
But he was gone now, so it was time for us to
follow. I heard a big shout, and turned around—
the city was dropping from under us like a shot!
It made me sick all through, I was so scared. Jim
turned grey, and couldn’t say a word, and Tom
didn’t say nothing but looked excited. The city
went on dropping down, and down, and down, but
we didn’t seem to do nothing but hang in the
air and stand still. The houses got smaller and
smaller, and the city pulled itself together closer and
closer, and the men and waggons got to looking like
ants and bugs crawling about, and the streets was
like cracks and threads; and then it all kind of
melted together, and there wasn’t any city any more :
24 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
it was only a big scab on the earth, and it seemed
to me a body could see up the river and down the
river about a thousand miles, though of course it
wasn’t so much. By-and-by the earth was a ball
—just a round ball, of a dull colour, with shiny
stripes wriggling and winding around over it, which
was rivers. And the weather was getting pretty
chilly. The widder Douglas always told me the
world was round like a ball, but I never took no
stock in a lot of them superstitions o’ hern, and of
course I paid no attention to that one because
I could see myself that the world was the shape of
a plate, and flat. I used to go up on the hill and
take a look all around and prove it for myself,
because I reckon the best way to get a sure thing
on a fact is to go and examine for yourself and not
take it on anybody’s say-so. But I had to give in,
now, that the widder was right. That is, she was
right as to the rest of the world, but she warn’t
right about the part our village is in: that part is
the shape of a plate, and flat, I take my oath.
The professor was standing still all this time
like he was asleep, but. he broke loose, now, and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 25
he was mighty bitter. He says something like
this : :
‘Idiots! they said it wouldn’t go. And they
wanted to examine it and spy around and get the
secret of it out of me. But I beat them. Nobody
knows the secret but me! Nobody knows what
makes it move but me; andit’s a new power! A
new power, and a thousand times the strongest in
the earth. Steam’s foolishness to it. They said
I couldn’t go to Hurope. To Hurope! why there’s
power aboard to last five years, and food for three
months. They are fools—what do they know about
it? Yes, and they said my air-ship was flimsy ;
why, she’s good for fifty years. I can sail the skies |
all my life if I want to, and steer where I please,
though they laughed at that, and said I couldn’t.
Couldn’t steer! Come here, boy; we'll see. You
press these buttons as I tell you.’
He made Tom steer the ship all about and every
which way, and learnt him the whole thing in
nearly no time, and Tom said it was perfectly easy.
He made him fetch the ship down ’most to the
earth, and had him spin her along so close to the
26 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
Illinois prairies that a. body could talk to the
farmers and hear everything they said, perfectly
plain; and he flung out printed bills to them that
told about the balloon and said it was going to
Europe. Tom got so he could steer straight for a
tree till he got nearly to it and then dart up and
skin right along over the top of it. Yes, and he
learnt Tom how to land her; and he done it first
rate, too, and set her down in the prairie as soft as
wool; but the minute we started to skip out the
professor says, ‘No you don’t!’ and shot her up
into the air again. It was awful. I begun to beg,
and so did Jim; but it only give his temper a rise,
and be begun to rage around and look wild out of
his eyes, and I was scared of him.
Well, then he got on to his troubles again, and
mourned and grumbled about the way he was
treated, and couldn’t seem to git over it, and espe-
cially people’s saying his ship was flimsy. He scoffed
at that, and at their saying she warn’t simple and
would be always getting out of order. Get out of
order—that gravelled him ; he said she couldn’t any
more get out of order than the solar sister. He got
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 27
worse and worse, and I never see a person take on
so. It give me the cold shivers to see him, and
‘HE SAID HE WOULD SAIL HIS BALLOON AROUND THE GLOBE, JUST TO SHOW WHAT HE COULD DO ?
28 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
so it did Jim. By-and-by he got to yelling and
screaming, and then he swore the world shouldn’t
ever have his secret at all now, it had treated him
so mean. He said he would sail his balloon around
the globe just to show what he could do, and then he
would sink it in the sea, and sink us all along with
it, too. Well, it was the awfullest fix to be in; and
here was night coming on.
He give us something to eat, and made us go
to the other end of the boat, and laid down on a
locker where he could boss all the works, and put
his old pepper-box revolver under his head, and said
anybody that come fooling around there trying to
land her he would kill him.
We set scrunched up together, and thought
considerable, but didn’t say nothing, only just a
word once in a while when a body had to say some-
thing or bust, we was so scared and worried. The
night dragged along slow and lonesome. We was
pretty low down, and the moonshine made every-
thing soft and pretty, and the farm-houses looked
snug and homeful, and we could hear the farm
sounds, and wished we could be down there; but
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 29
laws ! we just slipped along over them like a ghost,
and never left a track.
‘AND HERE WAS NIGHT COMING ON’
Away in the night, when all the sounds was late
30 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
sounds, and the air had a late feel, and a late smell,
too—about a two o’clock feel, as near. as I could
make out—Tom said the professor was so quiet
this long time he must be asleep, and we better
‘Better what?’ I says in a whisper, and feel-
ing sick all over, because I knowed what he was
thinking about.
‘Better slip back there and tie him and land the
ship,’ he says. ‘
I says:
‘No, sir! Don’t you budge, Tom Sawyer.’
And Jim—well, Jim was kind of gasping, he was
so scared. He says:
‘Oh, Mars Tom, don’t! Ef you tetches him we’s
gone—we’s gone, sho’! J ain’t gwyne anear him,
not for nothin’ in dis worl’. Mars Tom, he’s plum
erazy.’
Tom whispers and says:
‘That’s why we've got to do something. If he
wasn’t crazy I wouldn’t give shucks to be anywhere
but here; you couldn’t hire me to get out, now
that I’ve got used to this balloon and over the scare
of being cut loose from the solid ground, if he was
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 31
in his right mind; but it’s no good politics sailing
around like this with a person that’s out of his
head and says he’s going around the world and
then drown us all. We've got to do something, I
tell you, and do it before he wakes up, too, or we
mayn’t ever get another chance. Come!’
But it made us turn cold and creepy just to think
of it, and we said we wouldn’t budge. So Tom was
for slipping back there by himself to see if he couldn't
get at the steering gear and land the ship. We
begged and begged him not to, but it warn’t no use ;
so he got down on his hands and knees and begun
to crawl an inch at a time, we a-holding our breath
and watching. After he got to the middle of the
boat he crept slower than ever, and it did seem
like years to me. But at last we see him get to the
professor’s head and sort of raise up soft and look
a good spell in his face and listen. Then we see him
begin to inch along again towards the professor’s
feet where the steering buttons was. . Well, he got
there all safe, and was reaching slow and steady
towards the buttons, but he knocked down some-
thing that made a noise, and we see him slump flat
32 ‘TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘and soft in the bottom and lay still. The professor
stirred, and says, ‘What's that ?’ But everybody
kept dead still and quiet, and he begun to mutter
and mumble and nestle, like a person that’s going
to wake up, and I shouert I was going to a I was
_80 worried and scared.
' Then a cloud come over the moon, and I ’most
cried, Iwas so glad. She buried herself deeper and
deeper in the cloud, and it got so dark we couldn’t
see Tom no more. Then it begun to sprinkle rain,
‘and we could hear the professor fussing at his ropes
and things and abusing the weather. We was
afraid every minute he would touch Tom, and then
we would be goners and no help; but Tom was
already on his way home, and when we felt his hands
on our knees my breath stopped sudden, and my
heart fell down amongst my other works; because I
couldn’t tell in the dark but it ee? be the pro-
fessor, which I thought it was.
Dear! I was so glad to have him back that I
was just as near happy as a person could be that was
up in the air that way with a deranged man. You
can’t land a balloon in the dark, and so I hoped it
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 33
would keep on raining, for I didn’t want Tom to go
meddling any more and make us so awful uncomfor-
table. Well, I got my wish. It drizzled: and
drizzled along the rest of the night, which wasn’t
long, though it did seem so; and at daybreak it
cleared, and the world looked mighty soft and grey
and pretty, and the forests and fields so good to see
again, and the horses and cattle standing sober and
thinking. Next, the sun come a-blazing up gay
and splendid, and then we begun to feel rusty and
stretchy, and first we knowed we was all asleep.
34 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER III
We went to sleep about four o’clock, and woke up
about eight. The professor was setting back there
at his end looking glum. He pitched us some
breakfast, but he-told us not to come abaft the
midship compass. That was about the middle of
the boat. Well, when you are sharp set, and you
eat and satisfy yourself, everything looks pretty
different from what it done before. It makes a
body feel pretty near comfortable, even when he is
up in a balloon with a genius. We got to talking
together.
There was one thing that kept bothering me,
and by-and-by I says:
‘Tom, didn’t we start Hast?’
‘ Yes.’
‘ How fast have we been going?’
‘Well, you heard what the professor said when
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 35
he was raging around ; sometimes, he said, we was
making fifty miles an hour, sometimes ninety,
sometimes a hundred ; said that with a gale to help
he could make three hundred any time, and said if
he wanted the gale, and wanted it blowing the
right direction, he only had to go up higher or
down lower and find it.’
‘Well, then it’s just as I reckoned. The pro-
fessor lied.’
. ‘Why ?’
‘Because if we was going so fast we ought to be
past Ilinois, oughtn’t we ?’
‘ Certainly.’
‘Well, we ain’t.’
‘What’s the reason we ain’t ?’
‘T know by the colour. We’re right over Illinois
yet. And you can see for yourself that Indiana
ain’t in sight.’
‘I wonder what's the matter with you, Huck.
You know by the colour?’
‘Yes—of course I do.’
‘ What’s the colour got to do with it ?’
‘It’s got everything to do with it. Lllinois is
D2
36 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
green, Indiana is pink. You show me any pink
down here if you can. Nro, sir; it’s green.’
‘Indiana pink? Why, what a lie!’
‘It ain’t no lie; I’ve seen it on the map, and
it’s pink.’
You never see a person so aggravated and dis-
ousted. He says:
‘Well, if I was such a numskull as you, Huck
Finn, I would jump over. Seen it on the map!
Huck Finn, did you reckon the States was the
same colour out of doors that they are on the map ?’
‘Tom Sawyer, what’s a map for? Ain’t it to
learn you facts ?’
‘Of course.’
‘Well, then, how is it going to do that if it tells
lies ?— that’s what I want to know.’
‘Shucks, you muggins, it don’t tell lies.’
‘Tt don’t, don’t it ?’
©No, it don’t.’
‘All right, then; if it don’t, there ain’t no two
States the same colour. You git around that, if you
can, Tom Sawyer.’
He see I had him, and Jim see it too, and I tell
TOM SAWYVER ABROAD 37
you I felt pretty good, for Tom Sawyer was always
a hard person to git ahead of. “Jim slapped his leg
and says:
‘T tell you! dat’s smart, dat’s right down smart !
Ain’t no use, Mars Tom, he got you dis time—he
>|?
done got you dis time, sho He slapped his leg
again, and says, ‘ My lan’, butit was a smart one !’
I never felt sco good in my life; and yet I didn’t
know I was saying anything much till it was out.
I was just mooning along, perfectly careless, and
not expecting anything was going to happen, and
never thinking of such a thing at all, when all of a
sudden out it come. Why, it was just as much a
surprise to me as it was to any of them. It was
just the same way it is when a person is munching
along on a hunk of corn-pone and not thinking
about anything, and all of a sudden bites into a
dimond. Now, all that he knows, first-off, is that
it’s some kind of gravel he’s bit into, but he don’t
find out it’s a di’mond till he gits it out and brushes
off the sand and crumbs and one thing or another,
and has a look at it, and then he’s surprised and
glad. Yes, and proud, too; though, when you come
38 TOM SAWYVER ABROAD
to look the thing straight in the eye, he ain’t entitled
to as much credit as he would ’a’ been if he’d been
hunting di’monds. You can see the difference easy,
if you think it over. You see, an accident, that
way, ain’t fairly as big a thing as a thing that’s
done a-purpose. Anybody could find that di’mond
in that corn-pone ; but, mind you, it’s got to be
somebody that’s got that kind of corn-pone. That’s
where that feller’s credit comes in, you see; and
that’s where mine comes in. I don’t claim no great
things ; I don’t reckon I could ’a’ done it again, but
I done it that time—that’s all Iclaim. And I hadn’t
no more idea I could do such a thing, and warn’t
any more thinking about it or trying to, than you
be this minute. Why, I was just as cam, a body
couldn’t be any cammer, and yet all of a sudden
out itcome. I’ve often thought of that time, and
I can remember just the way everything looked,
same as if it was only last week. I can see it all:
beautiful rolling country with woods and fields
and lakes for hundreds and hundreds of miles all |
around, and towns and villages scattered everywheres
under us here and there and yonder, and the pro-
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 39
fessor mooning over a chart on his little table, and
Tom’s cap flopping in the rigging where it was hung
up to dry ; and one thing in particular was a bird
right alongside, not ten foot off, going our way and
trying to keep up, but losing ground all the time,
and a railroad train doing the same, down there,
sliding along amongst the trees and farms, and
pouring out along cloud of black smoke and now
and then a little puff of white ; and when the white
was gone so long you had ’most forgot it, you
would hear a little faint toot, and that was the
whistle ; and we left the bird and the train both
behind, ’way behind, and done it easy, too.
But Tom he was huffy, and said me and Jim
was a couple of ignorant blatherskites, and then
he says :
‘ Suppose there’s a brown calf and a big brown
dog, and an artist is making a picture of them.
What is the main thing that that artist has got to
do? He has got to paint them so you can tell ’em
apart the minute you look at them, hain’t he? Of
course. Well, then, do you want him to go and
paint both of them brown? Certainly you don’t.
40 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
He paints one of them blue, and then you can’t
make no mistake. It’s just the same with the
maps. That’s why they make every State a
different colour ; it ain’t to deceive you—it’s to keep
you from deceiving yourself.’
But I couldn’t see no argument about that, and
neither could Jim. Jim shook his head and
Says:
‘Why, Mars Tom, ef you knowed what chuckle-
heads dem painters is, you'd wait a long time befo’
you'd fetch one er dem in to back up a fac’. I’s
ewyne to tell you, den you kin see for you'seff. I
gee one er ’em a-paintin’ away, one day, down in
old Hank Wilson’s back lot, en I went down to see,
en he was paintin’ dat old brindle cow wid de near
horn gone—you knows de one I means. En I ast
him what’s he paintin’ her for, en he say when he
_git her painted de picture’s wuth a hundred dollars.
Mars Tom, he could ’a’ got de cow fer fifteen, en
I tole him so. Well, sah, ef you'll b’lieve me, he
jes’ shuck his head en went on a-dobbin’. Bless
you, Mars Tom, dey don’t know nothin’.’
Tom he lost his temper; I notice a person ’most
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 4I
always does that’s got laid out in an argument.
He told us to shut up and don’t stir the slush in
our skulls any more—hold still and let it cake, and
maybe we'd feel better. Then he see-a town clock
away off down yonder, and he took up the glass
and lvoked’ at it, and then looked at his silver
turnip, and then at the clock, and then at the
turnip again, and says:
‘That’s funny—that. clock’s near about an
hour fast.’ a
So he put up his turnip. Then he see another |
clock, and took a look, and it was an hour fast too.
That puzzled him.
‘That’s a mighty curious thing,’ he says; ‘1
don’t understand it.’
Then he took the glass and hunted up another
clock, and sure enough it was an hour fast too.
Then his eyes begun to spread and his breath to
come out kind of gaspy like, and he says:
‘Ger-reat Scott, it’s the longitude !?
I says, considerable scared :
‘Well, what's been and gone and happened
now ??
42 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘Why, the thing that’s happened is that this
old bladder has slid over Illinois and Indiana and
Ohio like nothing, and this is the east end of
Pennsylvania or New York, or somewheres around
there.
‘Tom Sawyer, you don’t mean it !’
‘Yes, I do, and it’s so, dead sure. We’ve
covered about fifteen degrees of longitude since we
left St. Louis yesterday afternoon, and them clocks
are right. We've come close on to eight hundred
miles.’ ;
I didn’t believe it, but it made the cold streaks
trickle down my back just the same. In my
experience I knowed it wouldn’t take much short
of two weeks to do it down the Mississippi on a
raft.
Jim was working his mind, and studying.
Pretty soon he says:
‘Mars Tom, did you say dem clocks uz right ?’
‘Yes, they’re right.’
‘Ain’t yo’ watch right, too?’
‘She’s right for St. Louis, but she’s an hour
wrong for here.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD ' 43
‘Mars Tom, is you tryin’ to let on dat de time
ain’t de same everywheres ?’
‘No, it ain’t the same everywheres, by a long
shot.’
Jim he looked distressed, and says: ~~
‘It grieve me to hear you talk like dat, Mars
Tom; I’s right down ’shamed to hear you talk like
dat, arter de way you’s been raised. Yassir, it’d
break yo’ aunt Polly’s heart to hear you.’
Tom was astonished. He looked Jim over,
wondering, and didn’t say nothing, and Jim he
went on:
‘Mars Tom, who put de people out yonder in
St. Louis ? De Lord done it. Who put de people
here whah we is? De Lord done it. Ain’ dey
bofe His children? ’Cose deyis. Well, den! is He
ewyne to ’scriminate ’twixt ’em ?’
‘’Scriminate! I never heard such ignorant
rot. There ain’t no discriminating about it.
When He makes you and some more of His
children black, and makes the rest of us white,
what do you call that?’
44 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
Jim see the p’int. He was stuck. He couldn’t
answer. ‘Tom says:
‘He does discriminate, you see, when He wants
to; but this case here ain’t no discrimination of
His—it’s man’s. The Lord made the day, and He
made the night ; but He didn’t invent the hours,
and He didn’t distribute them around; man done it.’
‘Mars Tom, is dat so? Man done it?’
‘ Certainly.’
‘Who tole him he could ?*
‘Nobody. He never asked.’
Jim studied a minute, and says:
‘Well, dat do beat me. I wouldn’t ’a’ tuck no
sich resk. But some people ain’t scared o’ nothin’.
Dey bangs right ahead—dey don’t care what
happens. So den dey’s allays an hour’s diffunce
everywhah, Mars Tom ?’
‘An hour? No! - It’s four minutes’ difference
for every degree of longitude, you know. Fifteen
of ’em’s an hour, thirty of ’em’s two hours, and so
on. When it’s one o’clock Tuesday morning in
England, it’s eight o’clock the night before in
New York.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 45
Jim moved a little away along the locker, and
you could see he was insulted. He kept shaking
his head and muttering, and so I slid along to him
and patted him on the leg and petted him up,
and got him over the worst of his feelings, and then
he says:
‘Mars Tom talkin’ sich talk as dat—Choosday
in one place en Monday in t’other, bofe in de
same day! Huck, dis ain’ no place to joke—up
here whah we is. Two days in one day! How
you gwyne to git two days inter one day—can’t git
two hours inter one hour, kin you? can’t git two
niggers inter one nigger skin, kin you? can’t git
two gallons o’ whisky inter a one-gallon jug, kin you ?
No, sir;’ ’twould strain de jug. Yes, en even den
you couldn’t, I doan’ b’lieve. Why, looky here,
Huck, sposen de Choosday was New Year’s—now
den! Is you gwyne to tell me it’s dis year in one
place en las’ year in t’other, bofe in de identical
game minute? It’s de beatenest rubbage—I can’t
stan’ it, I can’t stan’ to hear tell *bout it. Then
he begun to shiver and turn grey, and Tom says:
‘ Now what’s the matter ? What's the trouble ?’
46 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
Jim could hardly speak, but he says :
‘Mars Tom, you ain’t jokin’, en it’s so?’
‘No, I’m not, and it is so.’
Jim shivered again, and says:
‘Den dat Monday could be de Las’ Day, en
dey wouldn’t be no Las’ Day in England, en dé
dead wouldn’t be called. We mustn’t go over dah,
Mars Tom. Please git him to turn back; I wants
to be whah——’
All of a sudden we see something, and all
jumped up, and forgot everything and begun to
gaze. ‘Tom says :
‘Ain’t that the ——’ He catched his breath, then
says: ‘It is—sure as you live—it’s the Ocean!’
That made me and Jim catch our breath, too.
Then we all stood putrified but happy, for none of
us had even seen an ocean, or ever expected to.
Tom kept muttering :
‘Atlantic Ocean—Atlantic. Land! don’t it
sound great! . . . And that’s it—and we are look-
ing at it—we! Why, it’s just too splendid to
believe ! ’
Then we see a big bank of black smoke; and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD ay
when we got nearer it was a city, and a monster
she was, too, with a thick fringe of ships around one
edge ; and wondered if it was New York, and begun .
to jaw and dispute about it, and first we knowed
it slid from under us and went flying behind, and
here we was, out over the very ocean itself, and
going like a cyclone. Then we woke up, I tell
you!
We made a break aft, and raised a wail, and
begun to beg the professor to take pity on us and
turn back and land us, and let us go back to our
folks, which would be so grieved and anxious about
us, and maybe die if anything happened to us; but
he jerked out his pistol and motioned us back, and
we went, but nobody will ever know how bad we
felt.
The land was gone, all but a little streak, like a
snake, away off on the edge of the water, and down
under us was just ocean, ocean, ocean—umillions of
miles of it, heaving and pitching and squirming,
and white sprays blowing from the wave-tops, and
only a few ships in sight, wallowing around and
laying over, first on one side and then on t’other,
48 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
and sticking their bows under and then their sterns ;
and before long there warn’t no ships at all, and
we had the sky and the whole ocean all to our-
selves, and the roomiest place I ever see and the
lonesomest.
TOM SAWVER ABROAD 49
CHAPTER IV
Anp it got lonesomer and lonesomer. There was
the big sky up there, empty and awful deep, and
the ocean down there without a thing on it but just
the waves. All around us was a ring—a perfectly
round ring—where the sky and the water come
together; yes, a monstrous big ring it was, and we
right in the dead centre of it. Plum in the centre.
We was racing along like a prairie fire, but it never
made any difference—we couldn’t seem to-git past
that centre no way; I couldn’t see that we ever
gained an inch on that ring. It made a body feel
creepy, it was so curious and unaccountable.
Well, everything was so awful still that we got
to talking in a very low voice, and kept on getting
creepier and lonesomer and less and less talky, till
at last the talk run dry altogether, and we just set
E
50 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
there and ‘ thunk’ as Jim calls it, and never said
a word, the longest time.
The professor never stirred till the sun was
overhead ; then he stood up and put a kind of a tri-
angle to his eye, and Tom said it was a sextant
and he was taking the sun, to see whereabouts
the balloon was. Then he ciphered a little, and
looked in a book, and then he begun to carry on
again. He said lots of wild things, and amongst
others he said he would keep up this hundred-
mile gait till the middle of to-morrow afternoon,
and then he’d land in London.
We said we would be humbly thankful.
He was turning away, but he whirled around
when we said that, and give us a long look of his
- blackest kind, one of the maliciousest and sus-
piciousest looks I ever see. Then he says:
‘You want to leave me. Don’t try to deny
it.’
We didn’t know what to say, so we held in and
didn’t say nothing at all.
, .He went aft and set down, but he couldn’t seem
- to git that thing out of his mind. Every now and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 51
‘THE PROFESSOR SAID HE WOULD KEEP UP THIS HUNDRED-MILE GAIT TILL TO-MORROW
AFTERNOON, AND THEN HE’D LAND IN LONDON’
B2
52 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
then he would rip out something about it, and try
to make us answer him, but we dasn’t.
NO MC HOM,
Oe Rll oat
Sg Rea PONY
FOC AP fl LUO eR
Fc ee
aK uK
4,
9
*“yoU WANT TO LEAVE ME. DON’T TRY TO DENY IT
It got lonesomer and lonesomer right along, and
it did seem to me I couldn’t stand it. It was still
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 53
worse when night begun to come on. By-and-by
Tom pinched me and whispers :
‘Look!’
I took a glance aft, and see the professor taking
a whet out ofa bottle. I didn’t like the looks of that.
By-and-by he took another drink, and pretty soon
he begun to sing. It was dark now, and getting
black and stormy. He went on singing, wilder
and wilder, and the thunder begun to mutter and
the wind to wheeze and moan amongst the ropes,
and altogether it was awful. It got so black we
couldn’t see him any more, and wished we couldn’t
hear him, but we could. Then he got still; but he
warn’t still ten minutes till we got suspicious, and
wished he would start up his noise again, so we
could tell where he was. By-and-by there was a
flash of lightning, and we see him start to get
up, but he was drunk, and staggered and fell down.
We heard him scream out in the dark :
‘They don’t want to go to England-—all right ;
Pll change the course. They want to leave me.
Well, they shall—and now !?
I ’most died when he said that. Then he was
84 TOM SAWYER ABROAD.
still again ; still so long I couldn’t bear it, and it
did seem to me the lightning wouldn’t ever come
again. But at last there was a blessed flash, and
there he was, on his hands and knees, crawling,
and not four foot from us. ‘My! but his eyes was
terrible. He made a lunge for Tom and says,
‘Overboard you go!’ but it was already pitch dark
again, and I couldn’t see whether he got him or
not, and Tom didn’t make a sound.
There was another long, horrible wait; then
there was a-flash and I see Tom’s head sink down
outside the boat and disappear. He was on the
rope ladder that dangled down in the air from the
gunnel. The professor let off a shout and jumped
for him, and straight off it was pitch dark again,
and Jim groaned out, ‘Po’ Mars Tom, he’s a
goner !’ and made a jump for the professor ; but the
professor warn’t there.
Then we heard a couple of terrible screams—
and then another, not go loud, and then another
that was ’way below, and you could only just hear
it; and I hear Jim say, ‘Po’ Mars Tom!’
Then it was awful still, and I reckon a person
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 55
could ’a’ counted four hundred thousand before the
next flash come. Whenit come, I see Jim on his
knees, with his arms on the locker and his face
buried in them, and he was crying. Before I could
look over the edge, it was all dark again, and I was
kind of glad, because I didn’t want to see. But
when the next flash come I was watching, and down
there I see somebody a-swinging in the wind on
that ladder, and it was Tom !
‘Come up !’ T shouts—‘ come up, Tom!’
His voice was so weak, and the wind roared so,
I couldn’t make out what he said, but I thought he
asked was the professor up there. I shouts:
‘No; he’s down in the ocean! Come up! Can
we help you 2?
Of course, all this in the dark.
‘Huck, who is you hollerin’ at ?’
‘T’m hollering at Tom.’
‘Oh, Huck, how kin you act so, when you knows
po’ Mars Tom’s——’ Then he let off an awful scream,
and flung his head and his arms back and let off
another one ; because there was a white glare just
then, and he had raised up his face just in time to
56 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
see Tom’s, as white as snow, rise above the eunnel
and look him right in the eye. He thought it was
Tom’s ghost, you see.
Tom clumb. aboard, and when Jim found it
was him, and not his ghost, he hugged him and
slobbered all over him, and called him all sorts of
loving names, and carried on like he was gone
crazy, he was so glad. Says I:
‘What did you wait for, Tom ? Why didn’t
you come up at first ?’
‘Tdasn’t, Huck. I knowed somebody plunged
down past me, but I didn’t know who.it was, in the
dark. It could ’a’ been you, it could ’a’ been Jim.’
That was the way with Tom Sawyer—always
sound. Hewarn’t coming up till he knowed where
‘the professor was.
The storm let go, about this time, with all its
might, and it was dreadful the way the thunder
boomed and tore, and the lightning glared out, and
the wind sung and screamed in the rigging, and the
rain come down. One second you couldn’t see
- your hand before you, and the next you could count
the threads in your coat sleeve, and see a whole
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 57
‘THE THUNDER BOOMED, AND THE LIGHTNING GLARED, AND THE WIND SUNG AND
SCREAMED IN THE RIGGING’
" 58 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
wide desert of waves pitching and tossing, through
a kind of veil of rain. A storm like that is the
loveliest thing there is, but it ain’t at its best when
you are up in the sky and lost, and it’s wet and
lonesome, and there’s just been a death in the
family.
We set there huddled up in the bow, and
talked low about the poor professor, and everybody
was sorry for him, and sorry the world had made
fun of him, and treated him so harsh, when he was
doing the best he could and hadn’t a friend nor
nobody to encourage him and keep him from
brooding his mind away and going: deranged.
There was plenty of clothes and blankets and every-
thing at the other end, but we thought we’d ruther
take the rain than go meddling back there. You
see, it would seem so crawly to be where it was
warm yet, as you might say, from a dead man.
Jim said he would soak till he was mush before he
would go there and maybe run up against that
ghost betwixt the flashes. He said it always made
him sick to see a ghost, and he’d ruther die than
feel of one.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 59
CHAPTER V
We tried to make some plans, but we couldn’t come
to no agreement. Me and Jim was for turning
around and going back home, but Tom allowed
that by the time daylight come, so we could see our
way, we would be so far towards England that we
might as well go there and come back in a ship and
have the glory of saying we done it.
About midnight the storm quit and the moon
come out and lit up the ocean, and then we begun
to feel comfortable and drowsy ; so we stretched
out on the lockers and went to sleep, and never
woke up again till sun-up. The sea was sparkling
like di’monds, and it was nice weather, and pretty
soon our things was all dry again.
We went aft to find some breakfast, and the
first thing we noticed was that there was a dim
60 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
light burning in a compass back there under a
hood. Then Tom was disturbed. He says:
‘You know what that means easy enough.
It means that somebody has got to stay on watch
and steer this thing the same as he would a ship,
or she’ll wander around and go wherever the wind.
wants her to.’
‘Well,’ I says, « what’s she been doing since—er
—since we had the accident ?’
‘Wandering,’ he says, kind of troubled—* wan-
dering, without any doubt. She’s in a wind, now,
that’s blowing her south of east. We don’t know
how long that’s been going on, either.’ ,
So then he p’inted her east, and said he would
hold her there, whilst we rousted out the breakfast.
The professor had laid in everything a body could
want: he couldn’ t ’a’ been better fixed. There.
wasn’t no milk ‘for the coffee, but there was water
and everything else you could want, and a charcoal
stove and the fixings for it, and pipes and cigars
and matches ; and wine and liquor, which warn’t in
our line; and books and maps and charts, and an
accordion ; and furs and blankets, and no end of
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 61
rubbish, like glass beads and brass jewellery, which
Tom said was a sure sign that he had an idea of
visiting around amongst savages. There was
money, too. Yes, the professor was well enough
fixed.
After breakfast Tom learned me and Jim how to
steer, and divided all of us up into four-hour
watches, turn and turn about; and when his
watch was out I took his place, and he got out the
professor’s papers and pens, and wrote a letter
home to his atint Polly telling her everything that
had happened to us, and dated it ‘Jn the Welkin,
approaching England,’ and folded it together and
stuck it fast with a red wafer, and directed it, and
wrote above the direction in big writing, ‘From
Tom Sawyer the Erronort, andsaid it would sweat
old Nat Parsons the postmaster when it come along
in the mail. I says:
‘Tom Sawyer, this ain’t no welkin: it’s a
balloon.’
‘ Well, now, who said it was a welkin, smarty ?’
‘You've wrote it on the letter, anyway.’
62 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
‘What of it? That don’t mean that the bal-
loon’s the welkin.’ Oo
‘Oh, I thought it did. Well, then, what is a
welkin ?’
I see in a minute he was stuck. He raked and
scraped around in his mind, but he couldn’t find _
nothing, so he had to say:
‘I don’t know, and nobody don’t know. It’s
just a word. And it’s a mighty good word too.
There ain’t many that lays over it. I don’t believe
there’s any that does.’ ~
‘Shucks,’ I says; ‘but what does it mean ?—
that’s the p’int.’
‘I don’t know what it means, I tell you. It’s a
word that people uses for—for—well, it’s ornamen-
tal. They don’t put ruffles on a shirt to help keep
a person warm, do they ?’
‘Course they don’t.’
‘But they put them on, don’t they ?’
‘ Yes.’
‘ All right, then; that letter I wrote is a shirt,
and the welkin’s the ruffle on it.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 63
I judged that that would gravel Jim, and it
did. He says:
‘Now, Mars Tom, it ain’t no use to talk like
dat, en moreover it’s sinful. You know’s a letter
ain’t no shirt, en dey ain’t no ruffles on it nuther.
Dey ain’t no place to put ’em on, you can’t put ’em
on, en dey wouldn’t stay on ef you did.’
‘Oh, do shut up, and wait till somethine’s
started that you know something about.’
‘ Why, Mars Tom, sholy you don’t mean to say
I don’t know about shirts, when goodness knows
I’s toted home de washin’ ever sence-——’
‘T tell you this hasn’t got anything to do with
shirts. I only~—’
‘Why, Mars Tom! You said yo’ own self dat
a letter ——’
‘Do you want to drive me crazy? Keep still!
I only used it as a metaphor.’
That word kind of bricked us up for a minute.
Then Jim says, ruther timid, because he see Tom
was getting pretty tetchy:
‘Mars Tom, what is a metaphor ? ’
‘A metaphor’s a—vwell, it’s a—a metaphor’s
64 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
an illustration.’ He see that that didn’t git home ; so
he tried again. ‘ When I say birds of a feather flocks
together, it’s a metaphorical way of saying——’
‘But dey don’t, Mars Tom. No, sir ; ‘deed dey
don’t. Dey ain’t no feathers dat’s more alike den
a bluebird’s en a jaybird’s, but ef you waits till you
catches dem birds a flockin’ together, you’ll — ’
“Oh, give us a rest. You can’t get the simplest
little thing through your thick skull. Now, don’t
bother me any more.’
Jim was satisfied to stop. He was dreadful
pleased with himself for catching Torh out. The
minute Tom begun to talk about birds I judged
he was a goner, because Jim knowed more about
birds than-both of us put together. You see, he
had killed hundreds and hundreds of them, and
that’s the way to find out about birds. That’s the
way the people does that writes books about birds,
and loves them so that they’ll go hungry and tired
and take any amount of trouble to find a new bird
and kill it. Their name is ornithologers, and I
could ’a’ been an ornithologer myself, because I
always loved birds and creatures ; and I started
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 65
out to learn how to be one, and I see a bird setting
on a dead limb of a high tree, singing, with his
head tilted back and his mouth open, and before I
thought I fired, and his song stopped and he fell
straight down from the limb, all limp like a rag,
and Irun and picked him up, and he was dead, and
his body was warm in my hand, and his head rolled
about, this way and that, like his neck was broke,
and there was a white skin over his eyes, and one
little drop of blood on the side of his head, and
laws ! 1 couldn’t see nothing more for the tears; and
I hain’t ever murdered no creature since that
warn’t doing me no harm, and I ain’t going to.
But I was aggravated about that welkin. I
wanted to know. I got the subject up again, and
then Tom explained the best he could. He said
when a person made a big speech the newspapers
said the shouts of the people made the welkin ring.
He said they always said that, but none of them
ever told what it was, so he allowed it just meant
outdoors and up high. Well, that seemed sensible
enough, so I was satisfied, and said so. That
F
66 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
pleased Tom and put him in a good humour again,
and he says:
‘Well, it’s all right, then, and we’ll let bygones
be bygones. I don’t know for certain what a welkin
is, but when we land in London we'll make it ring,
anyway, and don’t you forget it.’
He said an erronort was a person who sailed
around in balloons; and said it was a mighty sight
finer to be Tom Sawyer the Erronort than to be Tom
Sawyer the Traveller, and would be heard of allaround
the world, if we pulled through all right, and so he
wouldn’t give shucks to be a traveller now.
Towards the middle of the afternoon we got
everything ready to land, and we felt pretty good,
too, and proud; and we kept watching with the
glasses, like C’lumbus discovering America. But
we couldn’t see nothing but ocean: The afternoon
wasted out and the sun shut down, and still there
warn’t no land anywheres. We wondered what was
the matter, but reckoned it would come out all right,
so we went on steering east, but went up on a higher
level so we wouldn’t hit any steeples or mountains
in the dark.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD . 67
It was my watch till midnight, and then it was
Jim’s; but Tom stayed up, because he said ship
captains done that when they was making the land,
and didn’t stand no regular watch.
Well, when daylight come, Jim give a shout,
and we jumped up and looked over, and there was the
land, sure enough; land all around, as far as you
could see, and perfectly level and yaller. We didn’t
know how long we had been over it. There warn’t
no trees, nor hills, nor rocks, nor towns, and Tom
and Jim had took it for the sea. They took it for
the sea in a dead cam ; but we was so high up, any-
way, that if it had been the sea and rough, it would
a’ looked smooth, all the same, in the night that
way.
We was all in a powerful excitement, now, and
grabbed the glasses and hunted everywheres for
London, but couldn’t find hide nor hair of it, nor-
any other settlement. Nor any sign of a lake or a
river either. Tom was clean beat. He said it
warn’t his notion of England—he thought England
looked like America, and always had that idea. So
he said we better have breakfast, and then drop
F.2
68 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
down and inquire the quickest way to London. We
cut the breakfast pretty short, we was so impatient.
As we slanted along down, the weather begun to
moderate, and pretty soon we shed our furs. But
it kept on moderating, and in a precious little while
it was ’most too moderate. Why, the sweat begun
to fairly bile out of us. We was close down, now,
and just blistering !
We settled down to within thirty foot of the land.
That is, it was land if sand is land; for this wasn’t
anything but pure sand. Tomand meclumb down
the ladder and took a run to stretch our legs, and
it felt amazing good ; that is, the stretching did, but
the sand scorched our feet like hot embers. Next, |
we see somebody coming, and started to meet him ;
but we heard Jim shout, and looked around, and he
was fairly dancing, and making signs, and yelling.
We couldn’t make out what he said, but we was
scared, anyway, and begun to heel it back ‘to the
balloon. When we got close enough, we understood
the words, and they made me sick :
‘Run! run fo’ yo’ life! Hit’s a liom—I kin see
him thoo de glass!' Run, boys! do please heel it
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 69
de bes’ youkin! He’s busted outen de menagerie,
en dey ain’t nobody to stop him!’
It made Tom fly, but it took the stiffening all
out of my legs. I could only just gasp along the
‘“nun! RUN Fo’ yo’ LirE!â€â€™â€™
way you do in a dream when there’s a ghost a-gain-
ing on you.
Tom got to the ladder and shinned up it a piece
and waited for me; and as soon as I got a footholt
on it he shouted to Jim to soaraway. But Jim had
70 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
clean lost his head, and: said he had forgot how. -
So Tom shinned along up and told me to follow ; but
the lion was arriving, fetching a most gashly roar
with every lope, and my legs shook so I dasn’t try
to take one of them out of the rounds for fear the
other one would give way under me.
But Tom was aboard by this time, and he
started the balloon up a little, and stopped it again
as soon as the end of the ladder was ten or twelve
foot above ground. And there was the lion, a-rip-
ping around under me, and roaring, and springing
up in the air at the ladder, and only missing it about
a quarter of an inch, it seemed to me. It was deli-
cious to be out of his reach—perfectly delicious—
and made me feel good and thankful all up one side;
but I was hanging there helpless, and couldn’t climb,
and that made me feel perfectly wretched and
miserable all down the other. It is *most seldom
that a person feels so mixed, like that; and it is not
to be recommended, either.
Tom asked me what he better do, but I didn’t
know. He asked me if I could hold on whilst he
sailed away to a safe place and left the lion behind.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 71
I said I could if he didn’t go no higher than he was
now, but if he went higher I would lose my head and
fall, sure. So he said, ‘Take a good grip!’ and
he started.
‘Don’t go so fast,’ I shouted ; ‘it makes my head
swim.’
He had started like a lightning express. He
slowed down, and we glided over the sand slower,
but still in a kind of sickening way, for it is uncom-
fortable to see things gliding and sliding under you
like that and not a sound.
But pretty soon there was plenty of sound; for
the lion was catching up. His noise fetched others.
You could see them coming on the lope from every
direction, and pretty soon there was a couple of
dozen of them under me skipping up at the ladder
and snarling and snapping at each other; and so
we went skimming along over the sand, and these
fellers doing what they could to help us to not for-
git the occasion; and then some tigers come, with-
out an invite, and they started a regular riot down
there. |
We see this plan was a mistake. We couldn’t
72 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘THEY WERE JUMPING UP AT THE LADDER, AND SNAPPING AND SNARLING AT
EACH OTHER’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 93
ever git away from them at this gait, and I couldn’t
hold on for ever. So Tom took a think and struck
another idea. That was to kill a lion with the
pepper-box revolver, and then sail away while the
others stopped to fight over the carcase. So he
stopped the balloon still, and done it, and then
- we sailed off while the fuss was going on, and come
down a quarter of a mile off, and they helped me
aboard ; but by the time we was out of reach again
that gang was on hand once more. And when they
see we was really gone and they couldn’t get us,
they sat down on their hams and looked up at us
so kind of disappointed that it was as much as a
person could do not to see their side of the matter.
74 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER VI
I was so weak that the only thing I wanted was a
chance to lay down, so I made straight for my
locker-bunk and stretched myself out there. But
a body couldn’t git back his strength in no such
oven as that, so Tom give the command to soar, and
Jim started her aloft. And, mind you, it was a
considerable strain on that balloon to lift the fleas,
and reminded Tom of Mary had a little lamb, its
fleas was white as snow. But these wasn’t; these
was the dark-complected kind—the kind that’s
always hungry and ain’t particular, and will eat pie
when they can’t git Christian. Wherever there’s
sand, you.are going to find that bird ; and the more
sand, the bigger the flock. Here it was all sand,
and the result was according. I never see such a
turn-out.
We had to go up a mile before we struck com-
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 75
fortable weather; and we had to go up another
mile before we got rid of them creturs; but when
they begun to freeze they skipped overboard.
Then we come down a mile again, where it was
breezy and pleasant and just right, and pretty soon
I was all straight again. Tom had been setting
quiet and thinking; but now he jumps up and
Says :
‘T bet you a thousand to one I know where we
are. We're in the Great Sahara, as sure as
guns !’
He was so excited he couldn’ hold still. But
I wasn’t; I says:
‘Well, then, where’s the Great Sahara? In
England, or in Scotland ?’
‘Tain’t in either : it’s in Africa.’
Jim’s eyes bugged out, and he begun to stare
down with no end of interest, because that was
where his originals come from; but I didn’t more
than half believe it. I couldn’t, you know; it
seemed too awful far away for us to have
travelled.
But Tom was full of his discovery, as he called
76 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
it, and said the lions and the sand meant the Great
Desert, sure. He said he could’a’ found out, before
we sighted land, that we was crowding the land
somewheres, if he had thought of one thing
and when we asked him what, he said :
‘These clocks. They’re chronometers. You
always read about them in sea-voyages. One of
them is keeping Grinnage time, and the other one
is keeping St. Louis time, like my watch. When
we left St. Louis, it was four in the afternoon by
my watch and this clock, and it was ten at night
by this Grinnage clock. Well, at this time of the
year the sun sets about seven o’clock.. Now, I
noticed the time yesterday evening when the sun
went down, and it was half past five o’clock by the
Grinnage clock, and half past eleven a.m. by my
watch and the other clock. You see, the sun rose
and set by my watch in St. Louis, and the
Grinnage clock was six hours fast ; but we’ve come
so far east that it comes within less than an hour
and a half of setting by the Grinnage clock now,
and I’m away out—more than four hours and a
half out. You see, that meant that we was closing
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 77
up on the longitude of Ireland, and would strike it
before long if we was p’inted right—which we
wasn’t. No, sir ; we’ve been a-wandering—wander-
ing ’way down south of east—and it’s my opinion
we are in Africa. Look at this map, You see how
the shoulder of Africa sticks out to the west.
Think how fast we’ve travelled; if we had gone
straight east we would be long past England by
this time. You watch for noon, all of you, and
we'll stand up, and when we can’t cast a shadow
we'll find that this Grinnage clock is coming mighty
close to marking twelve. Yes, sir; J think we’re in
Africa ; and it’s just bully.’
Jim was gazing down with the glass. Heshook
his head and says:
‘ Mars Tom, I reckon dey’s a mistake somers. I
hain’t seen no niggers yit.’
‘That's nothing—they don’t live in the desert.
What is that, "way off yonder? Gimme a glass.’
He took a long look, and said it was like a
black string stretched ‘across the sand, but he
couldn’t guess what it was.
‘Well,’ I says, ‘I reckon maybe you've got a
78 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
chance now to find out whereabouts this balloon is,
because as like as not that is one of these lines here,
that’s on the map, that you call meridians of longi-
tude, and we can drop down and look at its number,
and.
‘Oh, shucks, Huck Finn! I never see such a
lunkhead as you. Did you s’pose there’s meridians
of longitude on the earth?’
‘Tom Sawyer, they’re set down on the map, and
you know it perfectly well, and here they are, and
you can gee for yourself.’
‘Of course they’re on the. map, but that’s
nothing ; there ain’t any on the ground.’
‘Tom, do you know that to be so ?’
‘Certainly I do.’
‘Well then, that map’s a liar again. I never
see such a liar as that map.’ |
He fired up at that, and I was ready for him,
and Jim was warming up his opinion too, and the
next minute we'd ’a’ broke loose on another argu-
ment, if Tom hadn’t dropped the glass and begun
to clap his hands like a maniac and sing out:
‘Camels !—camels !’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 79
So I grabbed a glass, and Jim too, and took a
look, but I was disappointed, and says:
‘Camels, you granny—they’re spiders ! ’
‘Spiders in a desert, you shad? Spiders walk-
ing in a procession? You don’t ever reflect, Huck
Finn, and I reckon you really haven’t got anything
to reflect with. Don’t you know we’re as much as
a mile up in the air, and that that string of crawlers
is two or three miles away? Spiders—good land!
Spiders as big as a cow? P’raps you’d like to go
down and milk one of ‘em. But they’re camels,
just the same. It’s a caravan, that’s what it is,
and it’s a mile long.’
‘Well, then, le’s go down and look at it. I
don’t believe in it, and ain’t going to till I see it
and know it.’
‘All right,’ he says, and give the command:
‘Lower away!’
As we come slanting down into the hot weather,
we could see that it was camels, sure enough, plod-
ding along, an everlasting string of them, with
- bales strapped to them, and several hundred men in
long white robes, and a thing like a shawl bound
80 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
over their heads and hanging down with tassels
and fringes; and some of the men. had long guns
and some hadn’t, and some was riding and some
was walking. And the weather—well, it was just
roasting. And how slow they did creep along! We
swooped down, now, all of a sudden, and stopped
about a hundred yards over their heads.
The men all set up a yell, and some of them fell |
flat on their stomachs, some begun to fire their
guns at us, and the rest broke and scampered every
which way, and so did the camels.
We see that we was making trouble, so we went
up again about a mile, to the cool weather, and
watched them from there. It took them an hour
to get together and form the procession again ;
then they started along, but we could see by the
glasses that they wasn’t paying much attention to.
anything but us. We poked along, looking down
at them with the glasses, and by-and-by we see a
big sand mound, and something like people the
other side of it, and there was something like aman
laying on top of the mound, that raised his head
up every now and then, and seemed to be watching
Gp
WE SWOOPED DOWN, NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, AND STOPPED ABOUT A_ HUNDRED
YARDS OVER THEIR HEADS’
G
82 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
the caravan or us, we didn’t know which. As the
caravan got nearer, he sneaked down on the other
side and rushed to the other men and horses—for
that is what they was—and we see them mount in
a hurry; and next, here they come, like a house
afire, some with lances and some with long guns,
and all of them yelling the best they could.
They come a-tearing down on to the caravan,
and the next. minute both sides crashed together
and was all mixed up, and there was such another
popping of guns as you never heard, and the air
got so full of smoke you could only catch glimpses
of them struggling together. There must ’a’ been
six hundred men in that battle, and it wag terrible
to see. Then they broke up into gangs and groups,
fighting tooth and nail, and scurrying and scamper-
ing around, and laying into each other like every-
thing ; and whenever the smoke cleared a little you
could see dead and wounded people and camels
scattered far and wide and all about, and camels
racing off in every direction.
At last the robbers see they couldn’t win, so
their chief sounded a signal, and all that was left
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 83
of them broke away, and went scampering across
the plain. The last man to go snatched up a.
‘THE LAST MAN TO GO SNATCHED UP A CHILD AND CARRIED IT OFF
IN FRONT OF HIM ON HIS HORSE’
child, and carried it off in front of him on his
horse; and a woman run screaming and begging
G2
a
84 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
after him, and followed him away off across the plain
till she was separated a long ways from her people ;
but it warn’t no use, and she had to give it up, and
we see her sink down on the sand and cover her
face with her-hands. Then Tom took the hellum,
and started for that yahoo, and we come a-whizzing
down and made a swoop, and knocked him out of
the saddle, child and all; and he was jarred con-
siderable, but the child wasn’t hurt, but laid there
working its hands and legs in the air like a tumble-
bug that’s on its back and can’t turn over. The
man went staggering off to overtake his horse, and
didn’t know what had hit him, for we was three or
four hundred yards up in the air by this time.
We judged the woman would go and get the
child now, but she didn’t. We could see her,
through the glass, still setting there, with her head
bowed down on her knees; so of course she hadn't
seen the performance, and thought her child was
clean gone with the man. She was nearly a half a
mile from her people, so we thought we might go
down to the child, which was about a quarter of a
mile beyond her, and snake it to her before the
TOM SAWVER ABROAD 85
caravan-people could git to us to do us any harm ;
and, besides, we reckoned they had enough business
Dew (DEA
Shs
‘WE COME A-WHIZZING DOWN AND MADE A SWOOP, AND KNOCKED
HIM OUT OF THE SADDLE, CHILD AND ALL’
on their hands for one while, anyway, with the
wounded. We thought we’d chance it, and we did.
86 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
We swooped down and stopped, and Jim shinned
down the ladder and fetched up the cub, which was
a nice fat little thing, and in a noble good humour,
too, considering it was just out of a battle and been
tumbled off of a horse ; and then we started for the
mother, and stopped back of her and tolerable near
by, and Jim slipped down and crept up easy, and
when he was close back of her the child goo-goo’d,
the way a child does, and she heard it, and whirled
and fetched a shriek of joy, and made a jump for
the kid and snatched it and hugged it, and dropped
it and hugged Jim, and then snatched off a gold
chain and hung it around Jim’s neck, and hugged
him again, and jerked up the child again and
mashed it to her breast, a-sobbing and glorifying
all the time; and Jim he shoved for the ladder and
up it, and in a minute we was back up in the sky,
and the woman was staring up, with the back of
her head between her shoulders and the child with
its arms locked around her neck. And there she
stood, as long as we was in sight a-sailing away in
the sky.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 87
CHAPTER VII
‘Noon!’ says Tom, and so it was. His shadder
was just a blot around his feet. We looked, and
the Grinnage clock was so close to twelve the
difference didn’t amount to nothing. So Tom said
London was right north of us or right south of us,
one or t’other, and he reckoned by the weather and
the sand and the camels it was north; and a good
many miles north, too—as many as from New
York to the city of Mexico, he guessed.
Jim said he reckoned a balloon was a good deal
. the fastest thing in the world, unless it might be
some kinds of birds—a wild pigeon, maybe, or a
railroad.
But Tom said he had read about railroads in
England going nearly a hundred miles an hour for a
little ways, and there never wasa bird in the world
that could do that, except one—and that was a flea.
88 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘A flea? Why, Mars Tom, in de fust place he
ain’t a bird, strickly speakin’
‘He ain’t a bird, ain’t he? Well, then, what
is he?’
‘I don’t rightly know, Mars Tom, but I speck
he’s only jist a animal. No, I reckon dat won’t
do, nuther—he ain’t big enough for a animal. He
mus’ bea bug. Yassir,dat’s what he is—he’s a bug.’
‘I bet he ain't, but let it go. What’s your
second place ?’
‘Well, in de second place, birds is creturs dat
goes a long ways, but a flea don’t.’
. ‘He don’t, don’t he? Come, now, what is a
long distance, if you know ?’
‘Why, it’s miles, en lots of ’em—anybody knows
dat.’
‘Can’t a man walk miles ?’
‘ Yassir, he kin.’
‘As many as a railroad ?’
‘Yassir, if you give him time.’
‘Can’t a flea?’
‘Well, I s’pose so—ef you gives him heaps of
‘time.’ .
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 89
‘Now you begin to see, don’t you, that distance
ain’t the thing to judge by at all; it’s the time it
takes to go the distance in, that counts, ain’t it ?’
‘Well, hit do look sorter so, but I wouldn’t’a’
b’lieved it, Mars Tom.’
‘It’s a matter of proportion, that’s what it is;
and when you come to gauge a thing’s speed by its
size, where’s your bird, and your man, and your
railroad, alongside of a flea? The fastest man
can’t run more than about ten miles in an hour—
not much over ten thousand times his own length.
But all the books says any common ordinary third-
class flea can jump a hundred and fifty times his
own length; yes, and he can make five jumps a
second, too—seven hundred and fifty times his own
length in one little second; for he don’t fool away
any time stopping and starting—he does them
both at the same time; you'll see if you try to
put your finger on him. Now, that’s a common
ordinary third-class flea’s gait; but you take an
Eyetalian first-class, that’s been the pet of the
nobility all his life, and hasn’t ever knowed what
want or sickness or exposure was, and he can jump
‘“ WHERE’S YOUR MAN NOW?
TOM SAWYER ABROAD gt
more than three hundred times his own length, and
keep it up all day, five such jumps every second—
which is fifteen hundred times his own length.
Well, suppose a man could go fifteen hundred times
his own length in a second—say, a mile and a half.
It’s ninety miles a minute; it’s considerable more
than five thousand miles an hour. Where’s your
man now ?—yes, and your bird, and your railroad,
and your balloon? Laws! they don’t amount to
shucks ’longside of a flea. A flea is just a comet
biled down small.’
Jim was a good deal astonished, and so was I.
Jim said:
‘Is dem figgers jist edjackly true, en no jokin’
en no lies, Mars Tom ?’
‘Yes, they are ; they're perfectly true.’
‘Well, den, honey, a body’s got to respec’ a flea.
I ain’t had no respec’ for um befo’, scasely, but dey
ain’ no gittin’ roun’ it—dey do deserve it, dat’s
certain.’ —
‘Well, Il bet they do. They’ve got ever so much
more sense, and brains, and brightness, in propor-
tion to their size, than any other cretur in the
92 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘“AND WHERE’S YOUR RAILROAD, ’LONGSIDE OF A FLEA????
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 93
world. A person can learn them ’most anything ;
and they learn it quicker than any other cretur,
too. They’ve been learnt to haul little carriages in
harness, and go this way and that way and t’other
way according to orders; yes, and to march and
drill like soldiers, doing it as exact, according to
orders, as soldiers does it. They’ve been learnt to
do all sorts of hard and troublesome things. S’pose
you could cultivate a flea up to the size of a man,
and keep his natural smartness a-growing and
a-growing right along up, bigger and bigger, and
keener and keener, in the same proportion—where’d
the human race be, do you reckon? ‘That flea
would be President of the United States, and you
couldn't any more prevent it than you can prevent
lightning.’
‘My lan’, Mars Tom! I never knowed dey was
so much to de beas’. No, sir; I never had no idea
of it, and dat’s de fac’.’
‘There’s more to him, by a long sight, than
there is to any other cretur, man or beast, in pro-
portion to size. He's the interestingest of them
all. People have so much to say about an ant’s
‘ mHAT FLEA WOULD BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, AND YOU COULDN’T PREVENT IT’’’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 95
strength, and an elephant’s, and a locomotive’s.
Shucks! they don’t begin with a flea. He can
lift two or three hundred times his own weight,
and none of them can come anywhere near it. And
moreover, he has got notions of his own, and is very
particular, and you can’t fool him: his instinct, or
his judgment, or whatever it is, is perfectly sound
and clear, and don’t ever make a mistake. People
think all humans are alike to a flea. It ain’t so. .
There’s folks that he won’t go near, hungry or not
_ hungry, and I’m one of them. I’ve never had one
of them on me in my life.’
‘Mars Tom!’
‘It’s so; I ain’t joking.’
‘Well, sah, I hain’t ever heard de likes er dat
befo’.’
Jim couldn’t believe it, and I couldn’t; so we
had to drop down to the sand and git a supply, and
see. Tom was right. They went for me and Jim
by the thousand, but not a one of them lit on Tom.
There warn’t no explaining it, but there it was, and
there warn’t no getting around it. He said it had
always been just so, and he’d just as soon be
96 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
where there was a million of them as not, they’d
never touch him nor bother him.
We went up to the cold weather for a freeze-out,
and stayed a little spell, and then come back to the
comfortable weather and went lazying along twenty
or twenty-five miles an hour, the way we’d been
doing for the last few hours. Thereason was that
the longer we was in that solemn, peaceful Desert
the more the hurry and fuss got kind of soothed
down in us, and the more happier and contented and
satisfied we got to feeling, and the more we got to
liking the Desert, and then loving it. So we had
cramped the speed down, as I was saying, and was
having a most noble good lazy time, sometimes
watching through the glasses, sometimes stretched
out on the lockers reading, sometimes taking a nap.
It didn’t seem like we was the same lot that was
in such a sweat to find land and git ashore, but it
was. But we had got over that—clean over it.
We was used to the balloon now, and not afraid
any more,.and didn’t want to be anywheres else.
Why, it seemed just like home; it’most seemed as
if I had been born and raised in it, and Jim and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 97
Tom said the same. And always I had had hate-
ful people around me, a-nagging at me, and pester-
ing of me, and scolding and finding fault, and
fussing and bothering, and sticking to me, and
keeping after me, and making me do this, and
making me do that and t’other, and always
selecting out the things I didn’t want to do, and
then giving me Sam Hill because I shirked and
done something else, and just aggravating the life
out of a body all the time; but up here in the sky
it was so still, and sunshiny and lovely, and plenty
to eat, and plenty of sleep, and strange things to
see, and no nagging and pestering, and no good
people, and just holiday all the time. Land! I
warn’t in no hurry to git out and buck at civilisa-
tion again. Now, one of the worst things about
civilisation is that anybody that gits a letter with
trouble in it comes and tells you all about it, and
makes you feel bad, and the newspapers fetches you
the troubles of everybody all over the world, and
keeps you down-hearted and dismal ’most all the
time, and it’s such a heavy load for a person. I
hate them newspapers, and I hate letters; and if
H
98 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
I had my way I wouldn’t allow nobody to load his
troubles on to other folks he ain’t acquainted with,
on t’other side of the world, that way. Well, up in
a balloon there ain’t any of that, and it’s the
darlingest place there is.
We had supper, and that night was one of the
prettiest nights I ever see. The moon made it
just like daylight, only a heap softer ; and once we
see a lion standing all alone by himself, just all
alone in the earth, it seemed like, and his shadder
laid on the sand by him like a puddle of ink.
That’s the kind of moonlight to have.
Mainly we laid on our backs and talked; we
didn’t want to go to sleep. Tom said we was right
in the midst of the ‘Arabian Nights’ now. He said
it was right along here that one of the ’cutest things
in that book happened; so we looked down and
watched while he told about it, because there ain’t
anything that is so interesting to look at as a place
that a book has talked about. It was a tale about
a camel-driver that had lost his camel, and he
come along in the Desert and met a man, and
Says:
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 99
‘Have you run across a stray camel to-day ?’
And the man says:
_* Was he blind in his left eye ?’
‘Yes.’ .
‘Had he lost an upper front tooth ?’
‘Yes.’
‘Was his off hind leg lame ?’
‘Yes.’
_ *Was he loaded with millet seed on one side
and honey on the other ?’
‘Yes, but you needn’t go into no more details
—that’s the one, and I’m in a hurry. Where did
you see him ?’
‘T hain’t seen him at all,’ the man says.
‘ Hain’t seen him at all? How can you describe
him so close, then ?’
‘Because when a person knows how to use his
eyes, everything has got a meaning to it; but most
people’s eyes ain’t any good to them. I knowed a
camel had been along, because I seen his track. I
knowed he was lame in his off hind leg because he
~ had favoured that foot and trod light on it and his
track showed it. I knowed he was blind on his
H2
109 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
left side because he only nibbled the grass on the
right side of the trail. I knowed he had lost an
upper front tooth because where he bit into the sod
his teeth-print showed it. The millet seed sifted
out on one side—the ants told me that; the honey
leaked out on the other—the flies told me that. I
know all about your camel, but I hain’t seen him.’ —
Jim says:
‘Go on, Mars Tom; hit’s a mighty good tale,
and powerful interestin’.’
‘That’s all, Tom says.
‘ All?’ says Jim, astonished. ‘What ’come o’
de camel ?’
‘T don’t know.’
‘Mars Tom, don’t de tale say?’
‘No.’
Jim puzzled a minute, then he says :
‘Well! ef dat ain’t de beatenes’ tale ever I
struck. Jist gits to de place whah de intrust is
gittin’ red hot, en down she breaks. Why, Mars
Tom, dey ain’t no sense in a tale dat acts like dat.
Hain’t you got no idea whether de man got de
camel back er not?’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 101
‘No, I haven’t.’
I see myself there warn’t no sense in the tale,
to chop square off that way, before it come to any-
thing, but I warn’t going to say so, because I could
see Tom was souring up pretty fast over the way it
flatted out and the way Jim had popped on to the
weak place in it, and I don’t think it’s fair for
everybody to pile on to a feller when he’s down.
But Tom he whirls on me and says :
‘What do you think of the tale ?’
Of course, then I had to come out and make a
clean breast, and say it did seem to me too, same
as it did to Jim, that as long as the tale stopped
square in the middle, and never got to no place, ib
really warn’t worth the trouble of telling.
Tom’s chin dropped on his breast, and ’stead of
being mad, as I reckoned he’d be, to hear me scoff
at his tale that way, he seemed to be only sad;_
and he says:
‘Some people can see, and some can’t—just as
that man said. Let alone a camel, if a cyclone
had gone by, you duffers wouldn’t ’a’ noticed the
track.’
102 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
I don’t know what he meant by that, and he
didn’t say; it was just one of his irrulevances, I
reckon—he was full of them sometimes, when he
was in a close place and couldn’t see no other way
out—but I didn’t mind. We'd spotted the soft
place in that tale sharp enough—he couldn't git
away from that little fact. It gravelled him like
the nation, too, I reckon, much as he tried not to
let on,
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 103
CHAPTER VIII
We had an early breakfast in the morning, and set
looking down on the Desert, and the weather was
ever so bammy and lovely, although we warn’t high
up. You have to come down lower and lower after
sundown in the Desert, because it cools off so fast ;
and so by the time it is getting towards dawn you
are skimming along only a little ways above the
sand. .
We was watching the shadder of the balloon
slide along the ground, and now and then gazing
off across the Desert to see if anything was stirring,
and then down at the shadder again, when all of a
sudden almost right under us we see a lot of men
and camels laying scattered about, perfectly quiet,
like they was asleep.
We shut off the power, and backed up and
104 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
stood over them, and then we see that they was all
dead. It give us the cold shivers. And it made
us hush down, too, and talk low, like people at a
funeral. We dropped down slow, and_ stopped,
and me and Tom clumb down and went amongst
them. There was men, and women, and children.
They was dried by the sun, and dark and shrivelled .
and leathery, like the pictures of mummies you see
in books. And yet they looked just as human,
you wouldn’t ’a’ believed it; just like they was
asleep—some laying on their backs, with their
arms spread on the sand, some on their sides,
some on their faces, just as natural, though the
teeth showed more than usual. Two or three was
setting up. One was a woman, with her head
bent over, and a child was laying across her lap.
A man was setting with his hands locked around
his knees, staring out of his dead eyes at a young
girl that was stretched out before him. He looked
so mournful, it was pitiful to see. And you never
see a place so still as that was. He had straight
black hair hanging down by his cheeks, and when
a little faint breeze fanned it and made it wag, it
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 105
made me shudder, because it seemed as if he was
wagging his head.
Some of the people and animals was partly
covered with sand, but most of them not, for the
sand was thin there, and the bed was gravel, and
hard. Most of the clothes had rotted away and
left the bodies partly naked; and when you took
hold of a rag, it tore with a touch, like spider-web.
Tom reckoned they had been laying there for years.
Some of the men had rusty guns by them,
some had swords on and had shawl-belts with long
silver-mounted pistols stuck in them. All the
camels had their loads on yet, but the packs had
busted or rotted and spilt the freight out on the
ground. We didn’t reckon the swords was any
good to the dead people any more, so we took one
apiece, and some pistols. We took a small box,
too, because it was so handsome and inlaid so fine;
and then we wanted to bury the people; but there
warn’t no way to do it that we could think of, and
nothing to do it with but sand, and that would
blow away again, of course. We did start to cover
up that poor girl, first laying some shawls from a
106 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
busted bale on her ; but when we was going to put
sand on her, the man’s hair wagged again and give
us a shock, and we stopped, because it looked like
he was trying to tell us he didn’t want her covered
up so he couldn’t see her no more. I reckon she
was dear to him, and he would ’a’ been so lonesome.
Then we mounted high and sailed away, and
pretty soon that black spot on the sand was out of
sight, and we wouldn’t ever see them poor people
again in this world. We wondered, and reasoned,
and tried to guess how they come to be there, and
how it all happened to them, but we couldn’t make
it out. First we thought maybe they got lost, and
wandered around and about till their food and
water give out and they starved to death; but Tom
said no wild animals nor vultures hadn’t meddled
with them, and so that guess wouldn’t do. So at
last we give it up, and judged we wouldn’t think
about it no more, because it made us low-spirited.
Then we opened the box, and it had gems and
jewels in it, quite a pile, and some little veils of the
kind the dead women had on, with fringes made
out of curious gold money that we warn’t acquainted
TOM SAWYER ABROAD ‘107
with. We wondered if we better go and try to find
them again and give it back ; but Tom thought it
over and said no; it was a country that was full of
robhers, and they would come and steal it, and then
wee,
‘WE OPENED THE BOX, AND IT HAD GEMS AND JEWELS IN IT 7
108 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
the sin would be on us for putting the temptation
in their way. So we went on; but I wished we
had took all they had, so there wouldn’t ’a’ been no
temptation at all left. .
We had had two hours of that blazing weather
down there, and was dreadful thirsty when we got
aboard again. Wewent straight for the water, but .
it was spoiled and bitter, besides being pretty near
hot enough to scald your mouth. We couldn't
dvink it. It was Mississippi river water, the best
in the world, and we stirred up the mud in it to see
if that would help ; but no, the mud wasn’t any
better than the water.
Well, we hadn’t been so very, very thirsty before,
whilst we was interested in the lost people, but we
was now, and as soon as we found we couldn’t have
a drink we was more than thirsty—five’ times as
thirsty as we was a quarter of a minute before.
Why, in a little while we wanted to hold our mouths
open and pant like a dog.
Tom said keep a sharp look-out all around,
everywheres, because we’d got to find an oasis, or
there warn’t no telling what would happen. So
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 109
we done it. We kept the glasses gliding around all
the time, till our arms got so tired we couldn’t hold
them any more. Two hours—three hours—just
gazing and gazing, and nothing but sand, sand,
sand, and you could see the quivering heat-shimmer
playing over it. Dear, dear! a body don’t know
what real misery is till he is thirsty all the way
through and is certain he ain’t ever going to come
to any water any more. At last I couldn’t stand it
to look around on them baking plains; I laid down
on the locker and give it up.
But by-and-by Tom raised a whoop, and there
she was. A lake, wide and shiny, with pam trees
leaning over it asleep, and their shadders in the
water just as soft and delicate as ever you see. I
never see anything .look so good. It was a long
ways off, but that warn’t anything to us; we just
slapped’ on a hundred-mile gait, and calculated to
be there in seven minutes; but she stayed the same
old distance away all the time—we couldn’t seem to
gain on her; yes, sir, just as far, and shiny, and
like a dream, but we couldn’t get no nearer; and
at last, all of a sudden, she was gone.
IIo TOM SAWYER ABROAD
Tom’s eyes took a spread, and he says :
‘ Boys, it was a myridge !’
Said it like he was glad. I didn’t see nothing
to be glad about. I says:
“Maybe. I don’t care nothing about its name:
the thing I want to know is, what’s become of it ?’
Jim was trembling all over, and so scared he
couldn’t speak, but he wanted to ask that question
himself if he could ’a’ done it. Tom says:
‘What's become of it? Why, you see yourself
it’s gone.’
‘Yes, I know; but where’s it gone to ?’
He looked me over and says :
‘ Well, now, Huck Finn, where would it go to ?
Don’t you know what a myridge is?’
‘No, I don’t. What is it ?’
‘It ain’t anything but imagination. There
ain’t anything to it.’
It warmed me up a little to hear him talk like
that, and I says:
‘What's the use you talking that kind of stuff,
Tom Sawyer? Didn't I see the lake?’
“Yes; you think you did.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD III
‘I don’t think nothing about it; I did see it.’
‘I tell you you didn’t see it, either—because it
warn’t there to see.’
It astonished Jim to hear him talk so, and he ©
broke in and says, kind of pleading and dis-
tressed :
‘Mars Tom, please don’t say sich things in sich
an awful time as dis. You ain’t only reskin’ yo’
own self, but you’s reskin’ us—same way like Anna
Nias en Suffira. De lake wuz dah—I seen it jis’ as
plain as I sees you en Huck dis minute.’
I says:
‘Why, he seen it himself! He was the very
one that seen it first. Now, then.’
‘Yes, Mars Tom, hit’s so—you can’t deny it.
We all seen it, en dat prove it was dah.’
‘Proves it! How does it prove it ?’
‘Same way it does in de courts en every wheres,
Mars Tom. One pusson might be drunk or dreamy
or suthin’,en he could be mistaken; en two might,
maybe; but I tell you, sah, when three sees a thing,
drunk er sober, it’s so. Dey ain't no gittin’ aroun’
dat, en you knows it, Mars Tom.’
112 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘I don’t know nothing of the kind. There used
to be forty thousand million people that seen the
sun move from one side of the sky to the other
every day. Did that prove that the sun done it?’
‘’*Course it did. En, besides, dey warn’t no
‘casion to prove it. A body ’at’s got any sense
ain’t gwyne to doubt it. Dah she is now—a sailin’
thoo de sky des like she allays done.’ |
Tom turned on me then, and says:
‘What do you say—is the sun standing still ?’
‘Tom Sawyer, what’s the use to ask such a
jackass question? Anybody that ain’t blind can
see it don’t stand still.’
‘Well,’ he says, ‘I’m lost in the sky with no
company but a passel of low-down animals that
don’t know no more than the head boss of a uni-
versity did three or four hundred years ago. Why,
blame it, Huck Finn, there was Popes, in them
days, that knowed as much as you do.’
It warn’t fair play, and I let him know it. I
Says:
‘Throwin’ mud ain’t arguin’, Tom Sawyer.’
‘Who’s throwin’ mud ?’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 113
‘You done it.’
‘I never. It ain’t no disgrace, I reckon, to
compare a backwoods Missouri muggins like you to
a Pope, even the orneriest one that ever set on the
throne. -Why it’s an honour to you, you tadpole ;
the Pope’s the one that’s hit hard, not you, and you
couldn’t blame him for cussing about it, only they
don’t cuss. Not now they don’t, I mean.’
‘Sho, Tom, did they ever ?’
‘In the Middle Ages? Why, it was their com-
mon diet.’
‘No! You don’t really mean they cussed ?’
That started his mill a-going, and he ground out
a regular speech, the way he done sometimes when
he was feeling his oats; and I got him to write
down some of the last half of it for me, because it
was like book-talk and tough to remember, and had
words in it that I warn’t used to, and is pretty
tiresome to spell :
‘Yes, they did. I don’t mean that they went
charging around the way Ben Miller does, and put
the cuss-words just the same way he puts them.
No; they used the same words, but they put them
I
114 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
together different, because they’d been learnt by
the very best masters, and they knowed how,
which Ben Miller don’t, because he just picked it
up here and there and around, and hadn’t had no
competent person to learn him. But they knowed.
It warn’t no frivolous random cussing, like Ben
Miller’s, that starts in anywheres and comes out
nowheres—it was scientific cussing, and systematic ;
and it was stern, and solemn, and awful—not a
thing for you to stand off and laugh at, the way
people does when that poor ignorant Ben Miller
gits a-going. Why, Ben Miller’s kind can stand up
and cuss a person a week, steady, and it wouldn’t
phaze him no more than a goose cackling ; but it
was a mighty different thing in them Middle Ages
when a Pope, educated to cuss, got his cussing-
things together and begun to lay into a king, or a
kingdom, or a heretic, or a Jew, or anybody that
was unsatisfactory and needed straightening out.
He didn’t go at it harum-scarum ; no, he took that
king or that other person, and begun at the top,
and cussed him all the way down in detail. He
cussed him in the hairs of his head, and in the
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 115
bones of his skull, and in the hearing of his ears,
and in the sight of his eyes, and in the breath of
his nostrils, and in his vitals, and in his veins, and
in his limbs and his feet and his hands, and the
blood and flesh and bones of his whole body; and
cussed him in the loves of his heart and in his
friendships, and turned him out in the world, and
cussed anybody that give him food to eat, or shelter
and bed, or water to drink, or rags to cover him
when he was freezing. Land! that was cussing
worth talking about; that was the only cussing
worth shucks that’s ever been done in this world—
the man it fell on, or the country it fell on, would
better ’a’ been dead forty times over. Ben Miller!
The idea of him thinking he can cuss! Why, the
poorest little one-horse back-country bishop in the
Middle Ages could cuss all around him. JWe don’t
know nothing about cussing nowadays.’
‘Well,’ I says, ‘ you needn’t cry about it; I
reckon we can get along. Can a bishop cuss now
the way they useter ?’
‘Yes, they learn it because it’s part of the polite
learning that belongs to his lay-out—kind of bells
12
116 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
letters, as you may say—and although he ain’t got
no more use for it than Missouri girls has for
French, he’s got to learn it, same as they do,
because a Missouri girl that can’t polly-voo and a
bishop that can’t cuss ain’t got no business in
society.’
‘ Don’t they ever cuss at all now, Tom ?’
‘Not but very seldom. P’r’aps they do in Peru, —
but amongst people that knows anything it’s
played out, and they don’t mind it no more than
they do Ben Miller’s kind. It’s because they’ve
got so far along that they know as much now as
the grasshoppers did in the Middle Ages.’
‘The grasshoppers ?’
‘Yes. In the Middle Ages, in France, when the
grasshoppers started in to eat up the crops, the
bishop would go out in the fields and pull a solemn
face and give them a most solid good cussing. Just
the way they done with a Jew or a heretic or a
‘king, as I was telling you.’
‘And what did the grasshoppers do, Tom ?’
' ¢ Just laughed, and went on and et up the crop,
same as they started in to do. The difference
TOM SAWVER ABROAD 117
betwixt a man and a grasshopper, in the Middle
Ages, was that the grasshopper warn’t a fool.’
‘Oh, my goodness, oh, my goodness gracious,
dah’s de lake a’gin!’ yelled Jim just then. ‘ Now,
Mars Tom, what you gwyne to say?’
Yes sir, there was the lake again, away yonder
across the Desert, perfectly plain, trees and all,
just the same as it was before. I says:
‘I reckon you're satisfied now, Tom Sawyer.’
But he says, perfectly cam :
‘Yes, satisfied there ain’t no lake there.’
Jim says:
‘ Don’t talk so, Mars Tom—it sk’yers me to hear
you. It’s so hot, en you’s so thirsty, dat you ain’t
in yo’ right mine, Mars Tom. Oh, but don’t she
look good! ’Clah I doan’ know how I’s gwyne
' to wait tell we gits dah, I’s so thirsty.’
‘Well, you'll have to wait; and it won’t do you
no good, either, because there ain’t no lake there, I
tell you.’
T says : ,
‘Jim, don’t you take your eye off of it, and I
won’t either.’
118 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘’Deed I won’t; en bless you, honey, I couldn’t
ef I wanted to.’
We went a-tearing along towards it, piling the
miles behind us like nothing, but never gaining an
inch on it—and all of a sudden it was gone again !
Jim staggered and ’most fell down. When he got
his breath he says, gasping like a fish:
‘Mars Tom, hit’s a ghos’, dats what it is, en 1
hopes to goodness we ain’t gwyne to see it no mo’.
Dey’s ben a lake, en suthin’s happened, en de lake’s
dead, en we’s seen its ghos’; we’s seen it twyste,
and dat’s proof. De Desert’s ha’nted—it’s ha’nted,
sho. Oh, Mars Tom, le’s git outen it—I’d ruther die
than have de night ketch us in it ag’in, en de ghos’
er dat lake come a-mournin’ aroun’ us, en we asleep
en doan’ know de danger we’s in.’
‘Ghost, you gander! it ain’t anything but air
and heat and thirstiness pasted together by a
person’s imagination. If 1—— Gimme the glass! .
He grabbed it, and begun to gaze off to the
right.
‘It’s a flock of birds,’ he says. ‘It’s getting
towards sundown, and they’re making a bee-line
TOM SAWYER ABROAD | 119
across our track for somewheres. They mean
business--maybe they’re going for food or water, or
both. Let her go to starboard !—port your hellum !
Hard down! There—ease up—steady, as you
?
go.
We shut down some of the power, so as not to
out-speed them, and took out after them. We
went skimming along a quarter of a mile behind
them, and when we had followed them an hour and
a half and was getting pretty discouraged, and
thirsty clean to unendurableness, Tom says :
‘Take the glass, one of you, and see what that
is, away ahead of the birds.’
Jim got the first glimpse, and slumped down
on a locker, sick. He was ’most crying, and
SAYS :
‘She’s dah agi’n, Mars Tom—she’s dah ag’in, en
I knows I’s gwyne to die, ’case when a body sees
a ghos’ de third time, dat’s what it means. I
wisht I’d never come in dis balloon, dat I does.’
He wouldn’t look no more, and what he said
made me afraid too, because I knowed it was true,
for that has always been the way with ghosts; so
120 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
then I wouldn’t look any more either. Both of us
begged Tom to turn off and go some other way, but
he wouldn’t, and said we was ignorant superstitious
blatherskites. Yes, and he’ll git come up with one
of these days, I says to myself, insulting ghosts
that way. They’ll stand it for awhile, maybe, but
they won’t stand it always, for anybody that knows
about ghosts knows how easy they are hurt, and
how revengeful they are.
So we was all quiet and still, Jim and me being
scared, and Tom busy. By-and-by Tom fetched
the balloon to a standstill, and says:
‘Now get up and look, you sapheads!’
We done it, and there was the sure-enough
water right under us!—clear, and blue, and cool,
and deep, and wavy with the breeze, the loveliest
sight that ever was. And all about it was grassy
banks, and flowers, and shady groves of big trees,
looped together with vines, and all looking s0
peaceful and comfortable, enough to make a body
cry, it was so beautiful.
Jim did ery, and rip and dance and carry on,
he was so thankful and out of his mind for joy. It
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 121
was my watch, so I had to stay by the works, but
Tom and Jim clumb down and drunk a barrel
apiece, and fetched me up a lot, and I’ve tasted a
many a good thing in my life, but nothing that
ever begun with that water. Then they went down
and had a swim, and then Tom come up and spelled
me, and me and Jim had a swim, and then Jim
spelled Tom, and me and Tom had a foot-race and
‘a boxing-mill, and I don’t reckon I ever had sucha
good time in my life. It warn’t so very hot,
because it was close on to evening, and we hadn’t
any clothes on, anyway. Clothes is well enough
in school, and in towns, and at balls, too, but there
ain’t no sense in them when there ain’t no civilisa-
tion nor other kinds of bothers and fussiness
around. © .
‘Lions a-comin’!—lions! Quick, Mars Tom !
Jump for yo’ life, Huck!’
Oh, and didn’t we? We never stopped for
clothes, but walzed up the ladder just so. Jim
lost his head straight off—he always done it when-
ever he got excited and scared: and so now,
stead of just easing the ladder up from the ground
122 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
a little, so the animals couldn’t reach it, he turned
on a raft of power, and we went whizzing up and
was dangling in the sky before he got his wits to-
gether and seen what a foolish thing he was doing.
Then he stopped her, but had clean forgot what
to do next; so there we was, so high that the
lions looked like pups, and we was drifting off on |
the wind.
But Tom he shinned up and went for the works
and begun to slant her down, and back towards the
lake, where the animals was gathering like a camp
meeting, and I judged he had lost his head, too ;
for he knowed I was too scared to climb, and did
he want to dump me amongst the tigers and
things ?
But no ; his head was level—he knowed what he
was about. He swooped down to within thirty or
forty foot of the lake, and stopped right over the
centre, and sung out:
‘ Leggo, and drop !’
I done it, and shot down, feet first, and seemed
to go about a mile towards the bottom; and when
I come up, he says:
TOM SAWYER ABROAD - 123
‘Now lay on your back and float till you're
rested and got your pluck back; then I'll dip the
ladder in the water and you can climb aboard.’
I done it. Now, that was ever so smartin Tom,
because if he had started off somewheres else to
drop down on the sand, the menagerie would ’a’
come along too, and might ’a’ kept us hunting a
safe place till I got tuckered out and fell.
And all this time the lions and tigers was sorting
out the clothes, and trying to divide them up so
there would be some for all, but there was a mis-
understanding about it somewheres, on accounts of
some of them trying to hog more than their share ;
so there was another insurrection, and you never see
anything like it in the world. There must ’a’ been
fifty of them, all mixed up together, snorting and
roaring and snapping and biting and tearing, legs and
tails in the air, and you couldn’t tell which belonged
to which, and the sand and fur a-flying. And when
they got done, some was dead, and some was limping
off crippled, and the rest was setting around on the
battlefield, some of them licking their sore places
and the others looking up at us and seemed to be
124 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘AND ALL THIS TIME THE LIONS AND TIGERS WAS SORTING OUT THE CLOTHES 2
TOM SAWYER\ ABROAD 125
kind of inviting us to come down and have some
fun, but which we didn’t want any.
As for the clothes, there warn’t any any more.
Every last rag of them was inside of the animals ;
and not agreeing with them very well, I don’t reckon,
for there was considerable many brass buttons on
them, and there was knives in the pockets, too, and
smoking-tobacco, and nails and chalk and marbles
and fishhooks and things. But I wasn’t caring.
All that was bothering me was that all we had now
was the professor’s clothes—a big enough assort-
ment, but not suitable to go into company with, if
we come across any, because the britches was as
long as tunnels, and the coats and things according.
Still, there was everything a tailor needed, and Jim
was a kind of a jack-legged tailor, and he allowed he
could soon trim a suit or two down for us that
would answer.
126 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER IX
Stitt, we thought we would drop down there a _
minute, but on another errand. Most of the pro-
fessor’s cargo of food was put up in cans, in the
new way that somebody had just invented, the rest
was fresh. When you fetch Missouri beefsteak to
the Great Sahara, you want to be particular and
stay up in the coolish weather. Ours was all right
till we stayed down so long amongst the dead people.
That spoilt the water, and it ripened up the beef-
steak to a degree that was just right for an English-
man, Tom said, but was ’most too gay for
Americans ; so we reckoned we would drop down
into the lion market and see how we could make
out there.
We hauled in the ladder and dropped down till
we was just above the reach of the animals, then
we let down a rope with a slip knot in it and hauled
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 127
up a dead lion, a small tender one, then yanked up
a cub tiger. We had to keep the congregation off
with the revolver, or they would ’a’ took a hand in
the proceedings and helped.
We carved off a supply from both, and saved
the skins, and hove the rest overboard. Then we
baited some of the professor’s hooks with the fresh
meat and went a-fishing. We stood over the lake
just a convenient distance above the water, and
catched a lot of the nicest fish you ever see. It
was a most amazing good supper we had: lion
‘steak, tiger steak, fried fish, and hot corn-pone. I
don’t want nothing better than that.
We had some fruit to finish off with. We got
it out of the top of a monstrous tall tree. It was
a very slim tree, that hadn’t a branch on it from the
bottom plumb to the top, and there it busted out
like a feather duster. It was apam tree, of course;
anybody knows a pam tree the minute he sees it,
by the pictures. We went for coco-nuts in this
one, but there warn’t none. There was only big
loose bunches of things like over-sized grapes,
and Tom allowed they was dates, because he
128 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
said they answered the description in the ‘ Arabian
Nights’ and the other books. Of course they
‘mightn’t be, and they might be p’ison; so we had
to wait.a spell, and watch and see if the birds et
them. They done it; so we done it too, and they
was most amazing good.
By this time monstrous big birds begun to come
and settle on the dead animals. They was plucky |
creturs; they would tackle one end of a lion that
was being gnawed at the other end by another
lion. If the lion drove the bird away, it didn’t do
no good: he was back again the minute the lion was
busy.
The big birds come out of every part of the sky
—you could make them out with the glass whilst
they was still so far away you couldn’t see them
with your naked eye. The dead meat was too fresh
to have any smell—at least, any that could reach
to a bird that was five mile away; so Tom said
the birds didn’t find out the meat was there by the
smell—they had to find it out by seeing it. Oh,
but ain’t that an eye for you! Tom said at the
distance of five mile a patch of dead lions couldn’t
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 129
look any bigger than a person’s finger-nail, and he
couldn’t imagine how the birds could notice such a
little thing so far off. .
It was strange and unnatural to see lion eat
lion, and we thought maybe they warn’t kin. But
Jim said that didn’t make no difference. He said
a hog was fond of her own children, and so was a
spider, and he reckoned maybe a lion was pretty
near as unprincipled, though maybe not quite. He
thought likely a lion wouldn’t eat his own father, if
he knowed which was him, but reckoned he would
eat his brother-in-law if he was uncommon hungry,
and eat his mother-in-law any time. But reckon-
ing don’t settle nothing. You can reckon till the
cows comes home, but that don’t fetch you to no
decision. So we give it up and let it drop.
Gener’ly it was very still in the Desert, nights,
but this time there was music. A lot of other
animals come to dinner; sneaking yelpers that
Tom allowed was jackals, and roached-backed ones
that he said was hyenas; and all the whole b’iling
of them kept up a racket all the time. They made
a picture in the moonlight that was more different
K
130 TOM “SAWYVER ABROAD
than any picture I ever see. We had a line out
and made fast to the top of a tree, and didn’t stand
no watch, but all turned in and slept; but I was up
two or three times to look down at the animals and
hear the music. It was like having a front seat at
a menagerie for nothing, which I hadn’t ever had
before, and so it seemed foolish to sleep and not
make the most of it: I mightn’t ever have such a
chance again.
. We went a-fishing again in the early dawn, and
then lazied around all day in the deep shade on an
island, taking turn about to watch and see that
none of the animals come a-snooping around
there after erronorts for dinner. We was going
to leave next day, but couldn’t—it was too lovely.
The day after, when we rose up towards the sky
and sailed off eastward, we looked back and watched
that place till it warn’t nothing but just a speck in
the Desert, and I tell you it was like saying good-
bye to a friend that you ain’t ever going to see
any more.
Jim was thinking to himself, and at last he
Bays :
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 131
‘Mars Tom, we’s mos’ to de end er a Desert
now, I speck.’ .
‘Why ?’
© Well, hit stan’ to reason we is. You knows
how long we’s been a-skimming over it. Mus’ be
mos’ out o’ san’. Hit’s a wonder to me dat it’s
hilt out as long as it has.’
: Shucks | ! there’ 8 Py sand, you. needn’t
worry.’ :
‘Oh, I ain’t a-worryin’, Mars Tom, only won-
derin’, dat’s all. De Lord’s got plenty san’, I ain’t
doubtin’ dat, but nemmine, He ain’t gwyne to was’e
it jist on dat account ; en I allows dat dis Desert’s
plenty big enough now, jist de way she is, en’ you
can’t. spread her out no mo’’dout was’in’ san’.’
‘Oh, go ‘long; we ain’t much more than fairly
started across this Desert yet. . The United States
' is a.pretty big country, ain’t it? Ain’t it, Huck ?’
© Yes,’ I says; there ain’ t no bigger one, I don’t
reckon.’
‘Well,’ he says, ‘this Desert is about the shape
of the United States, and if you was to lay it down
on top of the United States, it would cover the land
K 2
132 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
of the free out of sight like a blanket. There’d be
a little corner sticking out, up at Maine, and away
up north-west, and Florida sticking out like a
turtle’s tail, and that’s all. We've took California
away from the Mexicans two or three years ago, so
that part of the Pacific coast is ours now; and if
you laid the Great Sahara down with her edge on
the Pacific, she would cover the United States and
stick out past New York six hundred miles into the
Atlantic Ocean.’
I says :-
‘Good land! have you got the documents for ©
that, Tom Sawyer ?’
‘Yes, and they’re right here, and I’ve been
studying them. You can look for yourself. From
New York to the Pacific is 2,600 miles; from one
end of the Great Desert to the other is 8,200. The
United States contains 3,600,000 square miles ; the
Desert contains 4,162,000. With the Desert’s bulk
you could cover up every last inch of the United
States, and in under where the edges projected out
you could tuck England, Scotland, Ireland, France,
Denmark, and all Germany. Yes, sir, you could
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 133
hide the home of the brave and all of them coun-
tries clean out of sight under the Great Sahara,
and you would still have 2,000 square miles of sand
left.’
‘Well,’ I says, ‘it clean beats me. Why, Tom,
it shows that the Lord took as much pains making
this Desert as He did to make the United States
and all them other countries. I reckon He must ’a
been a-working at this Desert two or three aay
before He got it done.’
Jim says:
‘Huck, dat doan’ stan’ to reason. I reckon dis
Desert wan’t made atall. Now, you take en look at
it like dis—you look at it, and see if I’s right.
What’s a desert good for? ’Tain’t good for nuthin’.
Dey ain’t no way to make it pay. Hain’t dat so,
Huck ?’
‘Yes, I reckon.’
‘ Hain’t it so, Mars Tom ?’
‘T guess so. Go on.’
‘Ef a thing ain’t. no good, it’s made. in. vain,
ain’t it ?’
Yes.’
134 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘Now, den! Do de Lord make anything in vain ?
You answer me dat.’
_...* Well, no, He don’t.’
‘Den how come He make a desert ?’ :
‘Well, goon. How did He come to make it?’
~ €Mars Tom, it’s my opinion He never made it at
all; dat is, He didn’t plan out no Desert, never sot
out to make one. Nowl’s gwyne to show you, den
you kin see. I b’lieve it uz jes’ like when you’s
buildin’ a house; dey’s allays a lot o’ truck en
rubbish lef’ over. What does you-do wid it?
Doan’ you take en k’yart it off en dump it into a
ole vacant back lot? ’Course. Now, den, it’s my
opinion hit was jes’ like dat. When the Lord uz
gwyne to buil’ de worl’, He tuck en made a lot 0’
rocks en put ’em in a pile, en made a lot 0’ yearth
en put it in a pile handy to de rocks, den‘a lot o’
san’, en put dat in a pile, handy, too. Den He
begin. He measure out some rocks en yearth en
san’, en stick ‘em together en say, “Dat’s Ger-
many,†‘en paste a label on it, en set it out to dry ;
en measure out some mo’ rocks en yearth en san’,
en stick ’em together, en say, “Dat’s de United
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 135
States,’ en paste a label on it, and setit out to dry ;
en 80 on, en so on, tell it come supper time Sataday,
en He look roun’ en see dey’s all done, en a mighty
good worl’ for de time she took. Den He notice
dat whilst He’s cal’lated de yearth en de rocks jes’
right, dey’s a mos’ turrible lot o’ san’ lef’ over;
which He can’t ’member how it happened. So He
look roun’ to seeif dey’s any ole back lot anywheres
dat’s vacant, en sée dis place, en is powerful glad, en
tell de angels to take en dump de san’ here. Now,
den, dat’s my idea ’bout it—dat de Great Sahara
warn’t made at all—she jes’ happen’.’
I said it was a real good argument, and I
: believed it was the best one Jim ever made. Tom
he said the same, but said the trouble about argu-
ments is, they ain’t nothing but theories, after all,
and theories don’t prove nothing: they only give
you a place to rest on, a spell, when you are
tuckered out butting around and around trying
to find out something there ain’t no way to find out.
And he says:
_ *There’s another trouble about theories: there’s
always a hole in them somewheres, sure, if you
136 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
look close enough. It’s just so with this one of
Jim’s. Look what billions and billions of stars:
there is. How does it come that there was just
exactly enough star-stuff, and none left over ?
How does it come there ain’t no sand-pile up
there ?’
But Jim was fixed for him and says :
‘What's de Milky Way ?—dat’s what I wants
to know. What’s de Milky Way? Answer me
dat!’
In my opinion it was just a sockdologer. It’s
only an opinion—it’s only my opinion—-and others
may think different ; but I said it then and I stand
to it now -—it was a.sockdologer. And moreover,
besides, it landed Tom Sawyer. He couldn’ say a
word. He had that stunned look of a person that’s
been shot in the back with a kag of nails. All he
said was, as for people like me and Jim, he’d just
as soon have intellectual intercourse with a catfish.
But anybody can say that—and I notice they
always do when somebody has fetched them a lifter.
Tom Sawyer was tired of that end of the subject.
So we got back to talking about the size of the
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 137
Desert again, and the more we compared it with
this and that and t’other thing, the more nobler
and bigger and grander it got to look, right along.
And so, hunting amongst the figgers, Tom found,
by and by, that it was just the same size as the
Himpire of China. Then he showed us the spread
the Empire of China made on the map and the
room she took up in the world. Well, it was
wonderful to think of, and I says :
‘Why, I’ve heard talk about this Desert plenty
of times, but Z never knowed, before, how im-
portant she was.’ .
Then Tom says:
‘Important ! Sahara important! That’s just
the way with some people. If a thing’s big, it’s
important. That’s all the sense they’ve got. All
they can see is size. Why, look at England.- It’s
the most important country in the world; and yet
you could put it in China’s vest pocket; and not
only that, but you'd have the dickens’ own time to
find it again the next time you wanted it. And
look at Russia. It spreads all around and every-
wheres, and yet ain’t no more important in this
£38 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
world than Rhode Island is, and hasn’t: got half as
much in it that’s worth saving. My uncle Abner,
which was a Presbyterian preacher and the bluest
they make, he always said that if size was a right
thing to judge importance by, where would heaven
be alongside of the other place? He always said
heaven was the Rhode Island of the Hereafter.’
Away off, now, we see a low hill, a-standing up
just on the edge.of the world. Tom broke off his
talk, and reached for a glass, very. much excited,
and took a look, and says:
‘That’s it—it’s the one I’ve been looking for,
sure. If I’m right it’s the one the dervish took
the man into and showed him all the treasures of
the world.’
So we begun to gaze, and he begun to tell
about it out of the ‘Arabian Nights.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 139
CHAPTER X
Tom said it happened like this.
A dervish was stumping it along through the
Desert on foot one blazing hot day, and he had
come a thousand miles and was pretty poor and
hungry, and ornery and tired, and along about
where we are now he run across a camel driver
with a hundred camels, and asked him for some
ams. But the camel driver he asked to be excused.
The dervish says : .
‘Don’t you own these camels ?
© Yes, they’re mine.’
‘Are you in debt?’
‘Who—me? No.
‘Well, a man that owns a hundred camels, and
ain’t in debt, is rich, and not only rich, but very
rich.
140 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
The camel driver owned up that it was so. Then
the dervish says:
‘God has made you rich, and He has made me
poor. He has His reasons, and they are wise—
blessed be His name! But He has willed that His
rich shall help His poor, and you have turned
away from me, your brother, in my need, and He
will remember this, and you will lose by it.’
That made the camel driver feel shaky, but all
the same he was born hoggish after money, and
didn’t like to let go a cent; so he begun to whine
and explain, and said times was hard, and although
he had took a full freight down to Balsora and got
a fat rate for it, he couldn’t git no return freight,
and so he warn’t making no great things out of
his trip. So the dervish starts along again, and
SAYS :
‘All right, if you want to take the risk; but I
reckon you've made a mistake this time, and
missed a chance.’
Of course the camel driver wanted to know
what kind of a chance he had missed, because
maybe there was money in it; so he run after the
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 14]
- dervish and begged him so hard and earnest to
take pity on him, and tell him,' that at last the
dervish give in and says: |
‘Do you see that hill yonder? Well, in that
hill is all the treasures of the earth, and I was
looking around for a man with a particular good
kind heart and a noble generous disposition,
because if I could find just that man, I’ve got a
kind of a salve I could put on his eyes and he
could see the treasures and get them out.’
So then the camel driver was in a sweat; and
he cried and begged, and took on, and went down
on his knees, and said he was just that kind of a
man, and said he could fetch a thousand people
that would say he wasn’t ever described so exact
before. .
‘Well, then,’ says the dervish, ‘all right. If
we load the hundred camels, can I have half of
them ?’
The driver was so glad he couldn’t hardly hold
in, and says :
‘ Now you're shouting.’
So he shook hands on the bargain, and the der-
142 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
vish got out his box and rubbed the salve on the
driver's right eye, and the hill opened and he went
in, and there, sure enough, was piles and piles of
gold and jewels sparkling like all the stars in heaven
had fell down. :
So him and the dervish laid into it, and they
loaded every camel till he couldn’t carry no more ;.
then they said good-bye, and each of them started
off with his fifty. But pretty soon the camel driver
came a-running and overtook the dervish and
Says:
‘You ain’t in society, you know, and you don’t
really need all you’ve got. Won’t you be good,
‘and let me have ten of your camels ?’
‘ Well,’ the dervish says, ‘I don’t know but what
you say is reasonable enough.’
“ §o he done it, and’they separated and the der-
-yish started off again with his forty. But pretty |
soon here comes the camel driver bawling after
him again, and whines and slobbers around and
begs another ten off of him, saying thirty camel
loads of treasures was enough to see a dervish
through, because they live very simple, you know,
THE CAMEL DRIVER IN TREASURE CAVE
144 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
and don’t keep house, but board around and give
their note.
But that warn’t the end, yet. That ornery
hound kept coming and coming till he had begged
back all the camels and had the whole hundred.
Then he was satisfied, and ever so grateful, and said
he wouldn’t ever forgit the dervish as long as he
lived, and nobody hadn’t ever been so kind to him
before, and liberal. So they shook hands good-bye,
and separated and started off again.
But do you know, it warn’t ten minutes till the
camel driver was unsatisfied again—he was the
low-downest reptyle in seven counties—and he
come a-runningagain. And this time the thing he
wanted was to get the dervish to rub some of the
salve on his other eye.
‘Why ?’ said the dervish.
‘Oh, you know,’ says the driver.
‘Know what ?’ says the dervish.
‘Well, you can’t fool me,’ says the driver.
‘You're trying to keep back something from me—
you know it mighty well. You know, I reckon,
that if I had the salve on the other eye I could see
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 145
a lot more things that’s valuable. Come—please
put it on.’
The dervish says : .
‘I wasn’t keeping anything back from you. I
don’t mind telling you what would happen if I put
it on. You'd never see again. You'd be stone
blind the rest of your days.’
But do you know that beat wouldn’t believe
him. No; he begged and begged, and whined.and
cried, till at last the dervish opened his box and
told him to put it on if he wanted to. Sothe man
done it, and sure enough he was as blind as a bat
in a minute.
Then the dervish laughed at him and mocked
at him and made fun of him, and says:
‘Good-bye—a man that’s blind hain’t got no
use for jewellery.’
And he cleared out with the hundred camels,
and left that man to wander around poor and
miserable and friendless the rest of his days in the
Desert.
Jim said he’d bet it was a lesson to him.
‘Yes,’ Tom says, ‘and like a considerable many
L
146 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
lessons a body gets. They ain’t no account, because
the thing don’t ever happen the same way again
—and can’t. The time Hen Scovil fell down the
chimbly and crippled his back for life, everybody
said it would be a lesson to him. What kind of a
lesson? How was he going touseit? He couldn’t
climb chimblies no more, and he hadn’t no more
backs to break.’ .
“All de same, Mars Tom, dey is sich a thing as
learnin’ by expe’ence. De Good Book say de burnt
chile shun de fire.’ a
‘ Well, I ain’t denying that a thing’s a lesson if
it’s a thing that can happen twice just the same
way. There’s lots of such things, and they educate
a person—that’s what uncle Abner always said ; but
there’s forty million lots of the other kind—the
kind that don’t happen the same way twice—and
they ain’t no real use: they ain’t no more instructive
than the small-pox. When you've got it it ain’t no
good to find out you ought to been vaccinated, and it
ain't no good to get vaccinated afterwards, because
the small-pox don’t come but once. But on the other
hand uncle Abner said that the person that had took
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 147
a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy
times as much as a person that hadn’t, and said a
person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail
was gitting knowledge that was always going to be
useful to him, and warn’t ever going to grow dim or
doubtful. But I can tell you, Jim, uncle Abner
was down on them people that’s all the time trying
to dig a lesson out of everything that happens, no
matter whether——’ -
But Jim’ was asleep. Tom looked kind of
ashamed, because, you know, a person always feels
bad when he is talking uncommon fine and thinks
the other person is admiring, and that other person
goes to sleep that way. Of course he oughtn’t to go
to sleep, because it’s shabby; but the finer a person
talks the certainer it is to make you sleep, and so,
when you come to look at it, it ain’t nobody’s fault
in particular—both of them’s to blame.
Jim begun to snore—soft and blubbery, at first
then a long rasp, then a stronger one, then a half-
a-dozen horrible ones like the last water sucking
down the plug-hole of a bath-tub, then the same
with more power to it, and some big coughs and
L2
148 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
snorts flung in, the way a cow does that is choking
to death; and when the person has got to that point
he is at his level best, and can wake up aman that
is in the next block with a dipper full of loddanum ~
in him, but can’t wake himself up although all that
awful noise of his’n ain’t but three inches from his
own ears. And that is the curiosest thing in the
world, seems to me. But yourake a match to light
the candle, and that little bit of a noise will fetch
him. I wish I knowed what was the reason of that,
but there don’t seem to be no way to find out.
Now, there was Jim alarming the whole Desert, and
yanking the animals out, for miles and miles around,
to see what in the nation was going on up there; there
warn’t nobody nor nothing that was as close'to the
noise as he was, and yet he was the only cretur that
wasn’t disturbed by it. We yelled at him and
whooped at him—it never done no good; but the
first time there came a little wee noise that wasn’t
of a usual kind it woke him up. No, sir; I’ve
thought it all over, and so has Tom, and there ain’t
no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself
snore.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 149
Jim said he hadn’t been asleep : he just shut his
eyes so he could listen better.
Tom said nobody warn’t accusing him.
That made him look like he wished he hadn’t
said anything. And he wanted to git away from
the subject, I reckon, because he begun to abuse the
camel driver, just the way a person does when he
has got catched in something and wants to take it
out of somebody else. He let into the camel driver
the hardest he knowed how, and I had to agree with
him; and he praised up the dervish the highest
he could, and I had to agree with him there, too.
But Tom says: |
‘I ain’t so sure. You call that dervish so
dreadful liberal and good and unselfish, but I don’t
quite see it. He didn’t hunt up another poor der-
vish, did he? No, he didn’t. If he was so un-
selfish, why didn’t he go in there himself and take
a pocketful of jewels and go along and be satisfied ?
No, sir; the person he was hunting for was a man
with a hundred camels. He wanted to get away
with all the treasure he could’
150 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
‘Why, Mars Tom, he was willin’ to divide, fair
and square ; he only struck for fifty camels.’
‘Because he knowed how he was going to get all
of them by and by.’
‘Mars Tom, he tole de man de truck would -
make him bline.’
“Yes, because he knowed the man’s character.
Tt was just the kind ofa man he was hunting for—
a man that never believes in anybody’s word or
anybody’s honourableness, because he ain’t got none
of his own. I reckon there’s lots of people like that
dervish. They swindle right and left, but they
always make the other person seem to swindle him-
self. They keep inside of the letter of the law all
the time, and there ain’t no way to git hold of them.
They don’t put the salve on—oh, no; that would be
sin—but they know how to fool yow into putting it
on, then it’s you that blinds yourself. I reckon the
dervish and the camel driver was just a pair—a
fine, smart, brainy rascal, and a dull, coarse,
ignorant one, but both of them rascals, just the
same.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD I51r
‘Mars Tom, does you reckon dey’s any o’ dat
kind 0’ salve in de worl’ now ?’
‘Yes, uncle Abner saysthereis. He says they’ve
got it in New York, and they put it on country
people’s eyes and show them all the railroads in the
world, and they go in and get them, and then when
they rub the salve on the other eye the other man
bids them good-bye and goes off with their railroads.
Here’s the treasure hill now. Lower away!’
We landed, but it warn’t as interesting as I
thought it was going to be, because we couldn’t find
the place where they went in to git the treasure.
Still, it was plenty interesting enough just to see
the mere hill itself where such a wonderful thing
happened. Jim said he wouldn’t ’a’ missed it for
three dollars, and I felt the same way.
And to me and Jim as wonderful a thing as any
was the way Tom could come into a strange big
country like this and go straight and find a little
hump like that and tell it in a minute from a mil-
lion other humps that was almost just like it, and
nothing to help him but only his own learning and
his own natural smartness. We talked and talked
Â¥52 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
it over together, but couldn’t make out how he done
it. He had the best head on him I ever see ; and
all he lacked was age to make a name for himself
equal to Captain Kidd or George Washington. I
bet you it would ’a’ crowded either of them to find
that hill, with all their gifts, but it warn’t nothing
to Tom Sawyer: he went across Sahara and put
his finger on it as easy as you could pick a nigger
out of a bunch of angels.
We found a pond of salt water close by, and
scraped up a raft of salt around the edges and
loaded up the lion’s skin and the tiger’s so as they
would keep till Jim could tan them.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 153
CHAPTER XI
We went a-fooling along for a day or two, and
then just as the full moon was touching the ground
on the other side of the Desert we see a string of
little black figgers moving across its big silver face.
You could see them as plain as if they was painted
on the moon with ink. It was another caravan.
We cooled down our speed and tagged along after
it, just to have company, though it warn’t going our
way. It was a rattler, that caravan, and a most
. bully sight to look at, next morning, when the sun
come a-streaming across the Desert and flung the
long shadders of the camels on the gold sand like a
thousand granddaddy-longlegses marching in pro-
cession. We never went very near it, because we
knowed better, now, than to act like that and scare
people’s camels and break up their caravans. It
was the gayest outfit you ever see for rich clothes
154 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
and nobby style. Some of the chiefs rode on
dromedaries—the first we ever see, and very tall, and
they go plunging along like they was on stilts, and
they rock the man that is on them pretty violent,
and churn up his dinner considerable, I bet you;
but they make noble good time, and a camel ain’t
nowheres with them for speed.
The caravan camped during the middle part of
the day, and then started again about the middle of
the afternoon. Before long the sun begun to look
very curious. First it kind of turned to brass, and
then to copper, and after that it begun to look like a
blood-red ball, and the air got hot and close, and
pretty soon all the sky in the west darkened up and
looked thick and foggy, but fiery and dreadful, like
it looks through a piece of red glass, you know.
We looked down and see a big confusion going on
in the caravan and a rushing every which way like
they was scared, and then they all flopped down
flat in the sand and laid there perfectly still.
Pretty soon we see something coming that stood
up like an amazing wide wall, and reached from
the desert up into the sky and hid the sun, and it
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 15s
was coming like the nation, too. Then a little faint
breeze struck us, and then it come harder, and
grains of sand begun to sift against our faces and
sting like fire, and Tom sung out:
‘Tt’s a sand-storm—turn your backs to it!’
We done it, and in another minute it was blow-
ing a gale. and the sand beat against us by the
shovelful and the air was so thick with it we couldn’t
see a thing. In five minutes the boat was level
full and we was setting on the lockers buried up to
the chin in sand, and only our heads out, and could
hardly breathe.
Then the storm thinned, and we see that mon-
strous wall go a-sailing off across the Desert, awful
to look at, I tell you. We dug ourselves out and
looked down, and where the caravan was before
there wasn’t anything but just the sand ocean now,
and all still and quiet. All them people and camels
was smothered and dead and buried—buried under
ten foot of sand, we reckoned—and Tom allowed it
might be years before the wind uncovered them, and
all that time their friends wouldn’t ever know what
become of that caravan. Tom said:
156 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘Now we know what it was that happened to
the people we got the swords and pistols from.’
Yes, sir, that was just it. It was as plain as
day now. They got buried in a sand-storm, and
the wild animals couldn’t get at them, and the wind
never uncovered them again till they was dried to
leather and warn’t fit to eat. It seemed to me we
had felt as sorry for them poor people as a person
could for anybody, and as mournful too, but we
was mistaken; this last caravan’s death went
harder with us—a good deal harder. You see, the
others was total strangers, and we never got to
feeling acquainted with them at all, except, maybe,
a little with the man that was watching the girl,
but it was different with this last caravan. We
was huvvering around them a whole night and
‘most a whole day, and had got to feeling real
friendly with them, and acquainted. I have found
out that there ain’t no surer way to find out
whether you like people or hate them than to travel
with them. Just so with these. We kind of liked
them from the start, and travelling with them put
on the finisher. The longer we travelled with
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 157
IN THE SAND-STORM.
158 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
them, and the more we got used to their ways, the
better and better we liked them and the gladder
and gladder we was that we run across them. We
had come to know some of them so well that we
called them by name when we was talking about
them, and soon got so familiar and sociable that
we even dropped the Miss and the Mister and just
used their plain names without any handle, and it
did not seem unpolite, but just the right thing.
Of course it wasn’t their own names, but names we
give them. There was Mr. Elexander Robinson
and Miss Adaline Robinson, and Colonel Jacob
McDougal, and Miss Harryet McDougal, and Judge .
Jeremiah Butler and Young Bushred Butler—and
these was big chiefs, mostly, that wore splendid
great turbans and simmeters and dressed like
the Grand Mogul—and their families. But as
soon as we come to know them good, and like
them very much, it warn’t Mister, nor Judge,
nor nothing, any. more, but only Elleck, and
Addy, and Jake, and Hattie, and Jerry, and Buck,
and so on.
And, youknow, the more you join in with people
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 1)
in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer
and dearer they come to be to you. Now, we warn’t
cold and indifferent, the way most travellers is—we
was right down friendly and sociable, and took a
chance in everything that was going ; and the cara-
van could depend on us to be on hand every time,
it didn’t make no difference what it was.
When they camped, we camped right over them,
ten or twelve hundred foot‘up in the air. When they
et a meal, we et ourn, and it made it ever so much
homeliker to have their company. When they had
a wedding, that night, and Buck and Addy got
| married, we got ourselves up in the very starchiest
of the professor’s duds for the blow-out; and when
they danced we j’ined in and shook a foot up
there.
But it is sorrow and trouble that brings you the
nearest, and it was a funeral that done it with us.
It was next morning, just in the still dawn. We
didn’t know the diseased, and he warn’t in our set,
but that never made no difference—he belonged to
the caravan, and that was enough ; and there warn’t
no more sincerer tears shed over him than the
160 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘WHEN THEY DANCED WE J’INED IN AND SHOOK A FOOT UP THERE’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 161
ones we dripped on him from up there eleven hun-
dred feet on high.
Yes, parting with this caravan was much more
bitterer than it was to part with them others, which
was comparative strangers, and been dead so long,
anyway. We had knowed these in their lives, and
was fond of them, too, and now to have death
snatch them from right before our faces whilst we
was looking, and leave us so lonesome and friend-
less in the middle of that big Desert, it did hurt so,
and we wished we mightn’t ever make any more
friends on that voyage if we was going to lose them
again like that.
We couldn’t keep from talking about them, and
they was all the time coming up in our memory,
and looking just the way they looked when we was
all alive and happy together. We could see the
line marching, and the shiny spearheads a-winking
in the sun, we could see the dromedaries lumbering
along, we could see the wedding and the funeral,
and more oftener than anything else we could see
them praying, because they don’t allow nothing to
prevent that: whenever the call came, several times
M
162 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
a day, they would stop right there, and stand up
and face the east and lift back their heads, and
spread out their arms and begin, and four or five
times they would go down on their knees, and then
fall forwards and touch their forehead to the
ground.
. Well, it warn’t good to go on talking about
them, lovely as they was in their life, and dear to
us in their life and death both, because it didn’t do
no good, and made us too down-hearted. Jim
allowed he was going to live as good a life as he
could, so he could see them again in a better world ;
and Tom kept still and didn’t tell him they was
only Mohammedans—it warn’t no use to disappoint
him, he was feeling bad enough just as it was.
When we woke up next morning we was feeling
a little cheerfuller, and had had a most powerful
good sleep, because sand is the comfortablest bed .
there is, and I don't see why people that can afford
it don’t have it more. And it’s terrible good
ballast, too; I.never see the balloon so steady
before.
Tom allowed we had twenty tons of it, and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 163
|
THE WEDDING PROCESSION
164 TOM SAWYER ABRCAD
wondered what we better do with it; it was good
sand, and it didn’t seem good sense to throw it
away. Jim says :
‘Mars Tom, can’t we tote it back home en sell
it? How long’ll it take ?’
‘Depends on the way we go.’
‘Well, sah, she’s wuth a quarter of a dollar a
load at hédme, en I reckon we’s got as much as
twenty loads, hain’t we? How much would dat
be ?’
‘ Five dollars.’
‘ By jings, Mars Tom, le’s shove for home right
on de spot! Hit’s more’n a dollar en a half apiece, —
hain’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, ef dat ain’t makin’ money de easiest
ever J struck! She jes’ rained in—never cos’ us a
lick o? work. lLe’s mosey right along, Mars Tom.’
But Tom was thinking and ciphering away so
busy and excited he never heard him. Pretty soon
he says :
‘Five dollars—sho! Look here, this sand’s
worth— worth—why, it’s worth no end of money.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 165
‘How is dat, Mars Tom? Go on, honey, go
on!’
‘Well, the minute people knows it’s genuwyne
sand from the genuwyne Desert of Sahara, they'll
just be in a perfect state of mind to git hold of
some of it to keep on the whatnot in a vial with a
label on it for a curiosity. All we got to do is to
put it up in vials and float around all over the
United States and peddle them out at ten cents
apiece. We've got all of ten thousand dollars’
worth of sand in this boat.’
Me and Jim went all to pieces with joy, and
begun to shout whoopjamboreehoo ; and Tom says :
‘ And we can keep on coming back and fetching
sand, and coming back and fetching more sand,
and just keep it a-going till we’ve carted this whole
Desert over there and sold it out; and there ain’t
ever going to be any opposition, either, because
we'll take out a patent.’
‘My goodness!’ I says. ‘ We’ll be as rich as
Creosote, won’t we, Tom ?’
‘Yes—Creesus, you mean. Why, that dervish
was hunting in that little hill for the treasures of
166 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
the earth, and didn’t know he was walking over
the real ones for a thousand miles. He was
blinder than he made the driver.’
‘Mars Tom, how much is we gwyne to be
worth ?’
‘ Well, I don’t know yet. It’s got to be ciphered,
and it ain’t the easiest job to do, either, because
it’s over four million square miles of sand at ten
cents a vial.’
Jim was awful excited, but this faded it out
considerable, and he shook his head and says:
‘Mars Tom, we can’t “ford all dem vials—a
king couldn’t. We better not try to take de whole
Desert, Mars Tom—de vials gwyne to bust us, sho.’
Tom’s excitement died out too, now, and I
_ reckoned it was on account of the vials, but it
wasn’t. He set there thinking, and got bluer and —
bluer, and at last he says:
‘Boys, it won’t work ; we’got to give it up.’
‘Why, Tom ?’ .
‘On account of the duties.’
I couldn’t make nothing out of that, neither
could Jim. I says:
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 167
‘What is our duty, Tom? Because if we can’t
git around it, why can’t we just do it? People
often has to.†.
But he says :
‘Oh, it ain’t that kind of duty. The kind I
mean is a tax. Whenever you strike a frontier—
that’s the border of a country, you know—you find
a Custom house there, and the Gov'ment officers
comes and rummages amongst your things and
charges a big tax, which they call a duty, because
it’s their duty to bust you if they can; and if you
don’t pay the duty they’ll hog your sand. They
call it confiscating, but that don’t deceive nobody-—
it’s just hogging, and that’s all it is. Now, if we
try to carry this sand home the way we’re pointed
now, we got to climb fences till we git tired—just
frontier after frontier—Egypt, Arabia, Hindostan,
and so on—and they’ll all whack on a duty, and so
you see, easy enough, we can’t go that road.’
‘Why, Tom,’ I says, ‘we can sail right over
their old frontiers ; how are they going to stop us?’
He looked sorrowful at me, and says, very
grave :
168 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
‘Huck Finn, do you think that would be
honest ?’
I-hate them kind of interruptions. I never
said nothing, and he went on:
‘Well, we’re shut off the other way, too. If we
go back the way we’ve come, there’s the New York
Custom house, and that is worse than all of them
others put together, on account of the kind of
cargo we've got.’
Why ?’
‘ Well, they can’t raise Sahara sand in America,
of course, and when they can’t raise a thing there,
the duty is fourteen hundred thousand per cent. on
it if you try to fetch it in from where they do raise
a
‘There ain’t no sense in that, Tom Sawyer.’
‘Who said there was? What do you talk to
me like that for, Huck Finn? You wait till I say
a thing’s got sense in it before you go to accusing
me of saying it.’
‘All right; consider me crying about it, and
sorry. Go on.’
Jim says:
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 169
‘Mars Tom, do dey jam dat duty on to every-
thing we can’t raise in America, en don’t make no
’stinction twix’ anything ?’
‘Yes, that’s what they do.’
‘Mars Tom, ain’t de blessin’ o’ de Lord de mos’
valuable thing dey is ?’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘Don’t de preacher stan’ up in de pulpit en call
it down on de people ?’
‘ Yes.†/
‘Whah do it come from ?’
‘From heaven.’
‘ Yassir! you’s jes’ right, ’deed you is, honey—
it come from heaven, en dat’s a foreign country.
Now den! do dey put a tax on dat blessin’ ?’
‘No, they don’t.’ © oe
*’Course dey don’t; en so it stan’ to reason
dat you’s mistaken, Mars Tom. Dey wouldn’t put
de tax on po’ truck like san’, dat everybody ain’t
’bleeged to have, en leave it off’n de bes’ thing
‘dey is, which nobody can’t git along widout.’
Tom Sawyer was stumped; he see Jim had got
him where he couldn’t budge. He tried to wiggle
170 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
out by saying they had forgot to put on that tax, but
they’d be sure to remember about it next Session
of Congress, and they’d put it on; but that was
a poor lame come-off, and he knowed it. He said
there warn’t nothing foreign that warn’t taxed but
just that one, and so they couldn’t be consistent
without taxing it; and to be consistent was the first
law of politics. So he stuck to it that they’d left it
out unintentional and would be certain to do their
best to fix it before they got caught and laughed at.
But I didn’t feel. no more interest in such
things, as long as we couldn’t git our sand through,
and it made me low-spirited, and Jim the same.
Tom he tried to cheer us up by saying he would
think up another speculation for us that would be
just as good as this one and better, but it didn’t do
no good—we didn’t believe there was any as big as
this. It was mighty hard; such a little while ago
we was so rich, and could ’a’ bought a country and
started a kingdom and been celebrated and happy,
and now we was so poor and ornery again, and had
our sand lefton our hands. The sand was looking
80 lovely before, just like gold and dimonds, and the
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 171
feel of it was so soft, and so silky and nice ; but
now I couldn’t bear the sight of it—it made me
sick to look at it, and I knowed I wouldn’t ever
feel comfortable again till we got shut of it, and I
didn’t have it there no more to remind us of what
we had been and what we had got degraded down
to. The others was feeling the same way about it
that I was. I knowed it, because they cheered up
so the minute I says, ‘ Le’s throw this truck over-
board.’
Well, it was going to be work you know, and
pretty solid work, too; so Tom he divided it up
according to fairness and strength. He said me
and him would clear out a fifth apiece of the sand,
and Jim three-fifths. Jim he didn’t quite like that
arrangement. He says:
_‘’Course I’s de stronges’, en I’s willin’ to do a
share accordin’ ; but by jings you’s kinder pilin’ it
on to ole Jim, Mars Tom, hain’t you?’
‘Well, I didn’t think so, Jim, but you try your
hand at fixing it, and let’s see.’
So Jim he reckoned it wouldn’t be no more
than fair if me and Tom done a tenth apiece.
172 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
Tom he turned his back to git room and be private,
and then he smole a smile that spread around and
. covered the whole Sahara to the westward, back to
the Atlantic edge of it where we come from. Then
he turned around again and said it was a good
enough arrangement, and we was satisfied if Jim
was. Jim said he was. ,
So then Tom measured off our two tenths in
the bow and left the rest for Jim, and it surprised
Jim a good deal to see how much difference there
was and what a raging lot of sand his share come
to, and said he was powerful glad, now, that he had
spoke up in time and got the first arrangement
altered ; for he said that even the way it was now
there was more sand than enjoyment in his end of
the contract, he believed.
Then we laid into it. It was mighty hot work,
and tough; so hot we had to move up into cooler
weather or we couldn’t ’a’ stcod it. Me and Tom
took turn about, and one worked while t’other
rested; but there warn’t nobody to spell poor old
Jim, and he made all that part of Africa damp,
he sweated so. We couldn’t work good, we was so
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 173
full of laugh, and Jim he kept fretting and wanting
to know what tickled us so, and we had to keep
making up things to account for it, and they was
pretty poor inventions, but they done well enough— .
Jim didn’t see through them. At last when we
got done we was ’most dead; but not with work, but
with laughing. By and by Jim was ’most dead
too, but it was with work; then we took turns and
spelled bim, and he was as thankful as he could
be, and would set on the gunnel and swab the sweat,
and heave and pant, and say how good we was to
a poor old nigger, and he wouldn’t ever forgit us.
He was always the gratefulest nigger I ever see
for any little thing you done for him. He was
only nigger outside ; inside he was as white as you
be.
174 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
CHAPTER XII
Tue next few meals was pretty sandy, but that
don’t make no difference when you are hungry 3
and when you ain’t it ain’t no satisfaction to eat,
anyway, and so a little grit in the meat ain’t no
particular drawback, as far as I can see.
Then we struck the east end of the Desert at
last, sailing on a north-east course. Away off on
the edge of the sand, in a soft pinky light, we see
three little sharp roofs like tents, and Tom says:
‘It’s the Pyramids of Egypt.’
It made my heart fairly jump. You see, I had
seen a many and a many a picture of them, and
heard tell about them a hundred times, and yet to
come on them all of a sudden, that way, and find
they was real, ’stead of imaginations, ’most knocked
the breath out of me with surprise. It’s a curious
thing that the more you hear about a grand and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 175
big and bully thing or person, the more it kind of
dreamies out, as you may say, and gets to be a big
dim wavery figger made out of moonshine and
nothing solid to it. It’s just so with George Wash-
ington, and the same with them Pyramids.
And moreover, besides, the things they always
said about them seemed to me to be stretchers.
There was a feller come to the Sunday school once,
and had a picture of them, and made a speech, and
said the biggest Pyramid covered thirteen acres,
and was most five hundred foot high, just a steep
mountain, all built out of hunks of stone as big as
a bureau, and laid up in perfectly regular layers,
like stair-steps. Thirteen acres, you see, for just
one building; it’s a farm. If it hadn’t been in
Sunday school, I would ’a’ judged it was a lie; and
outside I was certain of it. And he said there was
a hole in the Pyramid, and you could go in there
with candles, and go ever so far upa long, slanting
tunnel, and come to a large room in the stomach of
that stone mountain, and there you would find a
big stone chest with a king in it four thousand
years old. I said to myself then, if that ain’t a lie
176 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
I will eat that king if they will fetch him, for even
Methusalem warn’t that old, and nobody claims it.
As we come a little nearer we see the yaller sand
come to an end in a long straight edge like a
blanket, and on to it was joined, edge to edge, a
wide country of bright green, with a snaky stripe
crooking through it, and Tom said it was the. Nile.
Tt made my heart jump again, for the Nile was
another thing that wasn’t real to me. Now, I can
tell you one thing which is dead certain: if you will
fool along over three thousand miles of yaller sand,
all glimmering with heat so that it makes your eyes
‘water to-look at it, and you’ve been a considerable
part of-a week doing it, the green country will look
so like home and heaven to you that it will make
your eyes water again. It was just so with me, and
the same with Jim.
And when Jim got so he could believe it was the
land of Egypt he was looking at, he wouldn’t enter
it standing up, but got down on his knees and took
off his hat, because he said it wasn’t fitten for a
humble poor nigger to come any other way where
such men had been as Moses and. Joseph and
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 177
Pharaoh and the other prophets. He was a Presby-
terian, and had a most deep respect for Moses,
which was a Presbyterian too, he said. He was all
stirred up and says : :
‘ Hit’s de lan’ of Egypt, de lan’ of Egypt, en I’s
lowed to look at it wid my own eyes. En dah’s de
river dat was turn’ to blood, en I’s lookin’ at de
very same groun’ whah de plagues was, en de lice,
en de frogs, en de locus’, en de hail, en whah dey
marked de door-pos’, en de angel 0’ de Lord come
by in de darkness o’ de night en slew de fust-born
in all de lan’ of Egypt. Ole Jim ain’t worthy to
see dis day.’ .
And then. he just broke down and cried, he was
so thankful. So between him and Tom there was
talk enough, Jim being excited because the land was
so full of history—Joseph and his brethren, Moses
in the bulrushers, Jacob coming down into Egypt
to buy corn, the silver cup in the sack, and all them
interesting things; and Tom just as excited too,
because the land was so full of history that was in
his line, about Noureddin, and Bedreddin, and such
like monstrous giants, that made Jim’s wool rise,
N
178 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
and a raft of other ‘Arabian Nights’ folks, which the
half of them never done the things they let on they
done, I don’t believe.
Then we struck a disappointment, for one of
them early-morning fogs started up, and it warn’t
no use to sail over the top of it, because we would
go by Egypt, sure, so we judged it was best to set
her by compass straight for the place where the
Pyramids was gitting blurred and blotted out, and
then drop low and skin along pretty close to the
ground and keep a sharp look-out. Tom took the
hellum, I stood by to let go the anchor, and Jim he
straddled the bow to dig through the fog with his
. eyes and watch out for danger ahead. We went
along a steady gait, but not very fast, and the fog
got solider and solider, so solid that Jim looked dim
and ragged and smoky through it. Tt was awful
still, and we talked low and was anxious. Now and
then Jim would say :
‘Highst her a p’int, Mars Tom, highst her!’
and up she would skip a foot or two, and we would
slide right over a flat-roofed mud cabin, with people
that had been asleep on it just beginning to turn
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 179
out and gap stretch; and once when a feller was
- clear up on his hind legs so he could gap and stretch
better, we took him a blip in the back and knocked
him off. By and by, after about an hour, and
everything dead still, and we a-straining our ‘ears
for sounds and holding our breath, the fog thinned
a little very sudden, and Jim sung out in an awful
scare : : :
‘Oh, for de lau’s sake, set her back, Mars Tom,
here’s de biggest giant outen de ‘’Rabian Nights’ a
comin’ for us!’ and he went over backwards in the
boat.
Tom slammed on the back-action, and as we
slowed to a standstill, a man’s face as big as our
house at home looked in over the gunnel, same as a
house looks out of its windows, and I laid down and
died. I must ’a’ been clear dead and gone for as
much as a minute or more: then I come to, and
Tom had hitched a boat-hook on to the lower lip of
the giant and was holding the balloon steady with it
whilst he canted his head back and got a good long
look up at that awful face.
Jim was on his knees with his hands clasped,
n2
180 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
gazing up at the thing in a begging way, and working
his lips but not getting anything out. I took
only just a glimpse, and was fading out again, but
Tom says:
‘He ain’t alive, you fools; it’s the Sphynx!’
I never see Tom look so little and like a fly ; but
that was because the giant’s head was so big and
awful. Awful! yes, so it was, but not dreadful any
more, because you could see it was a noble face,
and kind of sad, and not thinking about you, but
about other things and larger. It was stone—red-
dish stone—and its nose and ears battered, and that
give it an abused look, and you felt sorrier for it
for that:
We stood off a piece, and sailed around it and
over it, and it was just grand. It was a man’s
head, or maybe a woman’s, on a tiger’s body a
hundred and twenty-five foot long, and there was
a dear little temple between its front paws. All
but the head used to be under the sand for hun-
dreds of years, maybe thousands ; but they had just
lately dug the sand away and found that little
temple. It took a power of sand to bury that cretur ;
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 181
*most as much as it would to bury a steamboat,
I reckon.
We landed Jim on. top of the head, with an
American flag to protect him, it being a foreign
land ; then we sailed off to this and that and t’other
distance, to get what Tom called effects and per-
spectives and proportions, and Jim he done the
best he could, striking all the different kinds of atti-
tudes and positions he could study up, but standing
on his head and working his legs the way a frog
does was the best. The further we got away, the
littler Jim got, and the grander the Sphynx got, till
at last it was only a clothes-pin on a dome, as you
| might say. That’s the way perspective brings out
the correct proportions, Tom said; he said Jul’us
Cesar’s niggers didn’t know how big he was, they
was too close to him.
Then we sailed off further and further, till we
couldn’t see Jim at all any more, and then that
great figger was at its noblest, a-gazing out. over
the Nile valley so still and solemn and lonesome,
and all the little shabby huts and things that was
scattered about it clean disappeared and gone, and
182, TOM SAWVER ABROAD
nothing around it now but a soft wide spread of -
yaller velvet, which was the sand.
That was the right place to stop, and we done
it. We set there a-looking and a-thinking for a half
an hour, nobody a-saying anything, for it made us
feel quiet and kind of solemn to remember it had
been looking over that valley just that same way,
and thinking its awful thoughts all to itself for
thousands of years, and nobody can’t find out what
they are to this day. ;
At last I took up the glass and see some little
black things a-capering around on that velvet
carpet, and some more a-climbing up the cretur’s
back, and then I sce two or three wee puffs of white
smoke, and told Tcm tolook. He doneit,and says :
‘They’re bugs. No—hold on; they—why, I
believe they’re men. Yes, it?s men—men and:
horses, both. They’re hauling a long ladder up
on to the Sphynx’s back—now, ain’t that odd?
And now they're trying to lean it up ee There’s
some more puffs of smoke—it’s guns! Huck,
they’re after Jim!’
We clapped on the power, and went for them
‘JIM HAD BEEN STANDING A SIEGE A LONG TIME’
(84 TOM SAWYER ABROAD |
a-b’iling. We was there in no time, and come a-
whizzing down amongst them, and they broke and
scattered every which way, and some that was
climbing the ladder after Jim let go all holts and
fell. We soared up and found him laying on top
of the head panting and most tuckered out, partly
from howling for help and partly from scare. He
had been standing a siege a long time—a week, he
said, but it warn’t so, it only just seemed so to him
because they was crowding him so. They had shot
at him, and rained the bullets all around him, but he
warn’t hit; and when they found he wouldn’t stand
up and the bullets couldn’t git at him when he was
laying down, they went for the ladder, and then he
knowed it was all up with him if we didn’t come pretty
quick. Tom was very indignant, and asked him why
he didn’t show the flag and command them to git, in
the name of the United States. Jim said he done
it, but they never paid no attention. Tom said he
would have this thing looked into at Washington,
and says :
‘You'll see that they’ll have to apologise for
insulting the flag, and pay an indemnity, too, on
top of it, even if they git off that easy.’
6“ THEY’ LL
HAVE TO APOLOGISE AND PAY AN INDEMNITY, TOO,â€
SAID TOM’
GVOWVdIY VTAMVS WOL
Sg
186 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
Jim says:
‘ What’s an indemnity, Mars Tom ?’
‘It’s cash—that’s what it is.’
‘Who gits it, Mars Tom ?’
‘Why we do.’
‘Ein who gits de apology ?’
- ‘The United States. Or we can take which-
ever we please. We can take the apology, if we
want to, and let the Gov’ment take the mone y.’
‘How much money will it be, Mars Tom ?’
‘Well, in an aggravated case like this one it
will be at least three dollars apiece, and I don’t know
but more.’
‘ Well, den, we’ll take de money, Mars Tom—
blame de’pology! Hain’t dat yo’ notion too? En
hain’t it yourn, Huck ?’
We talked it over a little and allowed that that
was as good a way as any, so we agreed to take the
money. It was a new business to me, and I asked
Tom if countries always apologised when they had
done wrong, and he says:
‘Yes ; the little ones does.’
We was sailing around examining the Pyramids,
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 187
you know, and now we soared up and roosted on
the flat top of the biggest one, and found it was
just like what the man said in the Sunday school.
It was like four pairs of stairs that starts broad at _
the bottom and slants up and comes together in a
point at the top, only these stair-steps couldn’t be
clumb the way youclimb other stairs ; no, for each
step was as high as your chin, and you have to be
boosted up from behind. The two other Pyramids
warn’t far away, and the people moving about on
the sand between looked like bugs crawling, we was
so high above them.
Tom he couldn’t hold himself, he was so worked
up with gladness and astonishment to be in such a
celebrated place, and he just dripped history from
every pore, seemed to me. He said he couldn't
scarcely believe he was standing on the very iden-
tical spot the prince flew from on the bronze horse.
It was in the ‘ Arabian Night’ times, he said. Some-
body give the prince a bronze horse with a peg in
its shoulder, and he could git on him and fly
through the air like a bird, and go all over the world,
and steer it by turning the peg, and fly high or low
and land wherever he wanted to.
188 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
When he got done telling it there was one of
them uncomfortable silences that comes, you know,
when a person has been telling a whopper and you
feel sorry for him and wish you could think of some
way to change the subject and let him down easy,
but git stuck and don’t see no way, and before you
can pull your mind together and do something, that
silence has got in and spread itself and done the
business. I was embarrassed, Jim he was embar-
rassed, and neither of us couldn’t say a word. Well,
Tom he glowered at me a minute, and says :
‘Come, out with it. Whatdo you think?’
I says:
‘Tom Sawyer, you don’t believe that yourself.’
‘What’s the reason I don’t? What’s to hender
me?’
‘There’s one thing to hender you: it couldn’t
happen, that’s all.’
‘What’s the reason it couldn’t happen ?’
‘You tell me the reason it could happen.’
‘This balloon is a good enough reason it could
happen, I should reckon.’
‘Why is it?’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 189
‘Why is it? I never saw such an idiot. Ain’t
this balloon and the bronze horse the same thing
under different names ?’
‘No, they’re not. One is a balloon and the
other’s a horse. It’s very different. Next you’ll
be saying a house and a cow is the same thing.’
‘By Jackson, Huck’s got him ag’in! Dey ain’t
no wigglin’ outer dat!’
‘Shut your head, Jim; you don’t know. what
you’re talking about.. And Huck don’t. Look here,
Huck, Pll make it plain to you, so you can under-
stand. You see, it ain’t the mere form that’s got
anything to do with their being similar or unsimilar,
it’s the principle involved ; and the principle is the
same in both. Don’t you see now ?’
I turned it over in my. mind, and says :
«Tom, it ain’t no use. Principles is all very
well, but they don’t git around that one big fact,
that the thing that a balloon can do ain’t no sort of
proof of what a horse can do.’ ~
‘Shucks, Huck! you don’t get the idea at all.
Now, look here a minute—it’s perfectly plain. Don’t
we fly through the air ?’
199 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘ Yes:’
‘Very well. Don’t we fly high or fly low, just
as we please ?’
‘ Yes.’
‘Don’t we steer whichever way we want to?’
‘Yes.’
‘And don’t we land when and where we please ?’
‘Yes.’
‘How do we move the balloon and steer it?’
‘ By touching the buttons.’
‘ Now I reckon the thing is clear to you at last.
In the other case the moving and steering was
done by turning a peg. We touch a button, the
prince turned a peg. There ain’t an atom of dif-
ference, you see. I knowed I could git it through
your head if I stuck to it long enough.’
He felt so happy he begun to whistle. But me
and Jim was silent, so he broke off surprised, and
Says:
‘Looky here, Huck Finn, don’t you see it yet?’
I says :
‘Tom Sawyer, I want to ask you some
questions.’
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 191
‘Go ahead,’ he says, and I see Jim chirk up to
listen. .
‘As I understand it, the whole thing is in the
buttons and the peg—the rest ain’t of no conse-
-quence. A button is one shape, a peg is another
shape, but that ain’t any matter.’
‘No, that ain’t any matter as long as they’ve
both got the same power.’
‘ All right, then. Whatis the power that’s in
a candle and in a match ? ’
‘It’s the fire.’
‘It’s the same in both, then ?’
‘Yes, just the same in both.’
‘Allright. Suppose I set fire to a carpenter
shop with a match, what will happen to that car-
penter shop ?’
‘She'll burn up.’
‘And suppose I set fire to this Pyramid with a
candle—will she burn up ?’
‘Of course she won’t.’
‘Allright. Now, the fire’s the same, both times.
Why does the shop burn, and the Pyramid don’t ?’
‘Because the Pyramid can’t burn.’
192 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
‘Aha! anda horse can’t fly!’
‘My lan’, ef Huck ain’t got him ag’in! Huck’s
landed him high en dry dis time, Itell you! Hit’s
de smartes’ trap I ever see a body walk inter—en
ef [——’
But Jim was so full of laugh he got to strangling
and couldn’t go on, and Tom was that mad to see
how neat I had floored him, and turned his own
argument ag’in him and knocked him all to rags
and flinders with it, that allhe could manage to say
was that whenever he heard me and Jim try to
argue it made him ashamed of the human race. I
never said nothing—I was feeling pretty well satis-
fied. When I have got the best of a person that
way, it ain’t my way to go around crowing about it
the way some pecple does, for I consider that if I
was in his place I wouldn’t wish him to crow over
me. It’s better to be generous, that’s what I
think.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 193
CHAPTER XII
By and by we left Jim to float around up there
in the neighbourhood of the Pyramids, and we clumb
‘down to the hole where you go into the tunnel, and
went in with some Arabs and candles, and away in
there in the middle of the Pyramids we found a
room and a big stone box in it where they used to
keep that king, just as the man in the Sunday
school said; but he was gone now-—somebody had
got him. But I didn’t take no interest in the place,
because there could be ghosts there, of course 3
not fresh ones, but I don’t like no kind.
So then we come out and got some little donkeys
and rode a piece, and then went in a boat another
piece, and then more donkeys, and got to Cairo;
and all the way the road was as smooth and beau-
tiful a road as ever I see, and had tall date pams
on both sides, and naked children everywhere, and
Oo
194 . TOM SAWYER ABROAD
the men was as red as copper, and fine and strong
and handsome. And the city was a curiosity.
Sach narrow streets—why, they were just lanes,
and crowded with people with turbans, and women
with veils, and everybody rigged out in blazing
bright clothes and all sorts of colours, and you won-
dered how the camels and the people got by each
other in such narrow little cracks, but they done
it—a perfect jam, you see, and everybody noisy.
The stores warn’t big enough to turn around in,
but you didn’t have to go in; the store-keeper sat
tailor fashion on his counter, smoking his snaky
long pipe, and had his things where he could reach
them to sell, and he was just as good as in the
street, for the camel-loads brushed him as they went
by.
_ Now and then a grand person flew by in a
carriage with fancy dressed men running and yelling
in front of it and whacking anybody with a long rod
that didn’t get out of the way. And by and by
along comes the Sultan riding horseback at the
head of a procession, and fairly took your breath
away his clothes was so splendid; and everybody
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 195
fell flat and laid on his stomach while he went by.
I forgot, but a feller helped me remember. He
was one that had a rod and run in front.
There was churches, but they don’t know enough
to keep Sunday—they keep Friday and break the
Sabbath. You have to take off your shoes when you
goin. There was crowds of men and boys in the
church, setting in groups on the stone floor and
making no end of noise—getting their lessons by
heart, Tom said, out of the Koran, which they think
is a Bible, and people that knows better knows
enough to not let on. I never see such a big
church in my life before, and most awful high it
was; it made you dizzy to look up. Our village
church at home ain't a circumstance to it : if you
was to put it in there, people would think it was a
dry-goods box.
What I wanted to see was a dervish, because I
was interested in dervishes on account of the one
that played the trick on the camel driver. So we
found a lot in a kind of a church, and they called
themselves Whirling Dervishes ; and they did whirl,
too—I never see anything like it. They had tall
02
196 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
sugar-loaf hats on, and linen petticoats; and they
spun and spun and spun, round and round like tops,
-and the petticoats stood out on a slant, and it was
the prettiest thing I ever see, and made me drunk
to look at it. They was all Moslems, Tom said, and
when I asked him what a Moslem was, he said it
was a person that wasn't a Presbyterian. So there
is plenty of them in Missouri, though I didn’t know
it before.
We didn’t see half there was to see in Cairo,
because Tom was in such a sweat to hunt out places
that was celebrated in history. We had a most
tiresome time to find the granary where Joseph
stored up the grain before the famine, and when we
found it it warn’t worth much to look at, being such
an old tumble-down wreck ; but Tom was satisfied,
and made more fuss over it than I would make if I
stuck a nail in my foot. How he ever found that
place was too many for me. We passed as much as
forty just like it before we came to it, and any of
them would ’a’ done for me, but none but just the
right one would suit him. I never see anybody so
particular as Tom Sawyer. The minute he struck
TOM SAWVER ABROAD 197
the right one he reconnised it as easy as I would
reconnise my other shirt if I had one, but how he
done it he couldn’t any more tell than he could fly ;
he said so himself, :
Then we hunted a long time for the house where
the boy lived that learned the Cadi how to try the
case of the old olives and the new ones, and said it
was out of the‘ Arabian Nights,’ and he would tell
me and Jim about it when he got time. Well, we
hunted and hunted till I was ready to drop, and I
wanted Tom to give it up and come next day and
git somebody that knowed the town and could talk
Missourian and could go straight to the place; but
no—he wanted to find it himself, and nothing else
would answer. So on we went. Then at last the
remarkablest thing happened I ever see. The house
was gone—gone hundreds of years ago—every last
rag of it gone but just one mud brick. Now, a person
wouldn’t ever believe that a backwoods Missouri
boy that hadn’t ever been in that town before could
go and hunt that place over and find that brick, but
Tom Sawyer done it. I know he done it, because
I see him do it. Iwas right by his very side at the
198 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
time, and see him see the brick and see him recon-
nise it. Well, I says to myself, how does he do it ?
Is it knowledge, or is it instink ?
Now, there's the facts, just as they happened ;
let everybody ‘explain it their own way. I’ve
ciphered over it a good deal, and it’s my opinion
that some of it is knowledge but the main bulk-of it
is instink. The reason is this. Tom put the brick
in his pocket to give to amuseum with his name on
it and the facts when he went home, and I slipped
it out and put another brick considerable like it in
its place, and he didn’t know the difference—but
there was a'difference, yousee. I think that settles
it—it’s mostly instink, not knowledge. Instink
tells him where the exact place is for the brick to
be in, and so he reconnises it by the place it’s in,
not by the look of the brick. If it was knowledge,
not instink, he would know the brick again by the
look of it the next time he seen it—which he didn’t.
So it shows that for all the brag you hear about
knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instink is
worth forty of it for real unerringness. Jim says
the same.
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 199
When we got back Jim dropped down and took
us in, and there was a young man there with a red
skull cap and tassel on, and a beautiful blue silk
jacket and baggy trousers with a shawl around his
waist and pistols in it, that could talk English and
wanted to hire to us as guide and take us to Mecca
and Medina and Central Africa and everywheres
for a half a dollar a day and his keep, and we
hired him and left, and piled on the power, and by
the time we was through dinner we was over the
place where the Israelites crossed the Red Sea
when Pharaoh tried to overtake them and was
caught by the waters. We stopped then, and had
a good look at the place, and it done Jim good to
see it. He said he could see it all now, just the
way it happened ; he could see the Israelites walk-
ing along between the walls of water, and the
Ligyptians coming from away off yonder, hurrying
all they could, and see them start in as the Israelites
went out, and then, when they was all in, see the
walls tumble together and drown the last man of
them. Then we piled on the power again, and
rushed away and huvvered over Mount Sinai, and
200 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
saw the place where Moses broke the tables of stone,
and where the children of Israel camped in the
plain and worshipped the golden calf; and it was
all just as interesting as could be, and the guide
knowed. every place as well as I know the village
at home.
But we had an accident, now, and it fetched all
the plans to astandstill. Tom’s old onery corn-cob
had got’so old and swelled and warped that she
couldn’t hold together any longer, notwithstanding
the strings and bandages, but caved in and went
to pieces. Tom he didn’t know what to do. The
professor’s pipe wouldn’t answer—it warn’t any-
thing but a mershum, and a person that’s got used
to a cob pipe knows it lays a long ways over all
the other pipes in this world, and you can’t git
him to smoke any other. He wouldn’t take mine,
I couldn’t persuade him. So there he was.
He thought it over, and said we must scour
around and see if we could roust out one in Higypt
or Arabia or around in some of these countries ; but
the guide said no, it warn’t no use—they didn’t have
them. So Tom was pretty glum for a little while,
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 201
then he chirked up and said he’d got the idea and
knowed what to do. He says:
‘I’ve got another corn-cob pipe, and it’s a prime
one too, and nearly new. It’s laying on the rafter
that’s right over the kitchen stove at home in the
village. Jim, you and the guide will go and git it,
and me and Huck will camp here on Mount Sinai
till you come back.’
‘But, Mars Tom, we couldn’t ever find de village.
I could find de pipe, ’caze I knows de kitchen, but
my lan’! we can’t ever find de village, nur Sent
Louis, nur none o’ dem places. We don’t know de
way, Mars Tom.’ ,
That was a fact, and it stumped Tom for a
minute. Then he said:
‘Looky here, it can be done, sure; and I'll tell
you how. You set your compass and sail west as
straight as a dart, till you find the United States.
It ain’t any trouble, because it’s the first land you'll
strike the other side of the Atlantic. If it’s day-
time when you strike it, bulge right on, straight
west from the upper part of the Florida coast, and
in an hour and three-quarters you'll hit the mouth
202 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
of the Mississippi—at the speed that I’m going to
send you. You’'Jl be so high up in the air that the
earth will be curved considerable—sorter like a
washbowl turned upside down—and you'll see a
raft of rivers crawling around every which way,
long before you get there, and you can pick out the
Mississippi without any trouble. Then you . can
follow the river north nearly an hour and three-
quarters, till you see the Ohio come in; then you
want to look sharp, because you're getting near.
Away up to your left you'll see another thread
coming in—that’s the Missouri, and is a little above
St. Louis. You’ll come down low then, so as you
can examine the villages as you spin along. You'll |
pass about twenty-five in the next fifteen minutes,
and you'll recognise ours when you see it—and if
you don’t you can yell down and ask.’
‘Ef it’s dat easy, Mars Tom, I reckon we kin
do it; yassir, I knows we kin.’
The guide was sure of it too, and thought
that he could learn to stand his watch in a little
while.
‘Jim can learn you the whole thing in a half
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 203
an hour,’ Tom said. ‘This balloon’s: as easy to
manage as a canoe.’
Tom got out the chart and marked out the
course and measured it, and says :
‘To go back west is the shortest way, you
see. It’s only about 7,000 miles. If you went
east, and so on around, it’s over twice as far.’
Then he says to the guide: ‘I want you both to
watch the tell-tale all through the watches, and
whenever it don’t mark 300 miles an hour, you
go higher or drop lower till you find a storm-
current that’s going your way. There’s 100 miles
an hour in this old thing without any wind to
help. There’s 200-mile gales to be found, any
time you want to hunt for them.’
‘We'll hunt for them, sir.’
‘See that youdo. Sometimes you may have to
go up a couple of miles, and it’ll be p’ison cold, but
most of the time you'll find your storm a good deal
lower. If you can only strike a cyclone—that’s
the ticket for you! You'll see by the professor’s
books that they travel west in these latitudes; and
they travel low, too.’
Of
VAAMVS WOL
CVOVdGY
TOM SAWYER ABROAD 205
Then he ciphered on the time, and says:
‘Seven thousand miles, 300 miles an hour—you
can make the trip in a day—twenty-four hours. This
is Thursday ; you'll be back here Saturday after-
noon. Come, now, hustle out some blankets and
food and books and things for me and Huck, and
you can start right along. There ain’t no occasion
to fool around—I want a smoke, and the quicker you
fetch that pipe the better.’
All hands jumped for the things, and in eight
minutes our things was out and the balloon was
ready for America. So we shook hands good-bye,
and Tom give his last orders :
‘It’s ten minutes to two P.m., now, Mount Sinai
time. In twenty-four hours you'll be home, and
it’ll be six to-morrow morning, village time. When
~ you strike the village, land a little back of the top of
the hill, in the woods, out of sight; then you rush
down, Jim, and shove these letters in the post:
office, and if you see anybody stirring, pull your
slouch down over your face so they won’t know
you. Then you go and slip in the back way, to the
kitchen and git the pipe, and lay this piece of
206 TOM SAWYER ABROAD
paper on the kitchen table and put something on
it to hold it, and then slide out and git away and
don’t let aunt Polly catch a sight of you, nor
nobody else. Then you jump for the balloon and
shove for Mount Sinai 300 miles an hour. You
won’t have logt more than an hour. You'll start
back seven or eight a.m., village time, and be here
in twenty-four hours, arriving at two or three P.m.,
Mount Sinai time.’
Tom he read the piece of paper to us. He
wrote on it:
‘Thursday Afternoon.--Tom Sawyer the Erronort
“sends lus love to aunt Polly from Mount Sinai,
where the Ark was, and so does Huck Finn, and
she will get it to-morrow morning half-past six.)
‘Tom Sawyer the Erronort.’
‘That'll rake her eyes bulge out and the tears
come,’ he says. Theu be says:
«Stand by! One-—two—three—away you go!’
And away she did go! why, she seemed to whiz
out of sight in a second.
' This misplacing of the Ark is probably Huck’s error, nof
Tom’s.—M. T.
wi ny
Uli
suit 5
LW ity
Hil Hi a
He J ey Wy ih
S a
Ds y y ,
| af ys
oii ul ,
e
THE DEPARTURE FOR HOME, ‘AND AWAY SHE DID GO.’
AOL
dVOVEIR VAAMVS
Loz
208 TOM SAWVER ABROAD
The first thing Tom done was to go and hunt
up the place where the tables of stone was broke,
and as soon as he found it he marked the place,
so as we could build a monument there. Then we
found a most comfortable cave that looked out
over that whole big plain, and there we camped
to wait for the pipe.
The balloon come back all right and brung the
pipe; but aunt Polly had catched Jim when he
was getting it, and anybody can guess what
happened: she sent for Tom. So Jim he says:
‘Mars Tom, she’s out on ‘de porch wid her eye
sot on de sky a-layin’ for you, en she say she ain’t
gwyne to budge from dah tell she gits hold of you.
Dey’s gwyne to be trouble, Mars Tom—’deed dey is.’
So then we shoved for home, and not feeling
very gay, neither.
PRINTED BY
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LONDON
{Feb , 1894.
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26
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LISTS OF BOOKS CLASSIFIED IN SERIES.
ow
*,* For fuller cataloguing, see alphabetical arrangement, pp. 1-25.
THE MAYFAIR LIBRARY,
A Journey Round My Room. By Xavier
ps MAISTRE.
Quips and Quiddities. By W.D.Apams,
The Agony Column of “The Times.â€
Melancholy Anatomised: Abridgment of
“ Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy.â€
The Speeches of Charles Dickens.
Poetical Ingenuities. By W. T. Dozsson.
The Cupboard Papers. By Fin-Bec.
W. S. Gilbert’s Plays. First Series.
W. 8. Gilbert’s Plays. Seconp Series,
Songs of Irish Wit and Humour.
Animals and Masters. By Sir A. HELPs,
Social Pressure. By Sir A. HELps,
Curiosities of Criticism. H. J. Jennines.
Holmes’s Autocrat of Breakfast-Table.
Pencil and Palette. By R. Kemer.
Little Essays: trom Lams’s Letters.
THE GOLDEN LIBRARY.
Bayard Taylor’s Diversions of the Echa
Club.
Bennett’s Ballad History of Englond.
Bennett’s Songs for Sailors.
Godwin’s Lives of the Necromancers.
Pope’s Poetical Works.
Holmes’s Autocrat of Breakfast Table.
Post 8vo, cloth limp, 2s. Gd. per Volume,
Forensic Anecdotes. By Jacop Larwoon.
Theatrical Anecdotes. Jacos Larwecop.
Jeux d’Esprit. Edited by Henry S, Lricu.
Witch Stories. By E. Lynn Linton,
Ourselves. By E, Lynn Linton.
Pastimes & Players. By R. Macerecor.
New Paul and Virginia. W.H.Matrocx.
New Republic. By W. H. Mattock.
Puck on Pegasus. By H.C, PENNELL.
Pegasus Re-Saddled. By H.C. PENNELL.
Muses of Mayfair. Ed. H.C. Pennetu.
Thoreau: His Life & Aims. By H. A. Pace.
Puniana. By Hon, HucH Row ey.
More Puniana. By Hon. HucuH Row ey.
The Philosophy of Handwriting.
By Stream and Sea. By Wm. Senior.
Leaves from a Naturalist’s Note-Book.
By Dr. ANDREW WILsonN. -— -
Post 8vo, cloth limp, 2s. per Volume,
| Jesse’s Scenes of Country Life.
Leigh Huni’s Tale for a Chimney
Corner.
Mallory’s Mort d’Arthur: Selections.
Pascal’s Provincial Letters.
Rochefoucauld’s Maxims & Reflections,
THE WANDERER’S LIBRARY.
Wanderings in Patagonia. By JuLius
BrEERBOHM. Illustrated.
Camp Notes. By Frepericx Boyre,
Savage Life. By FrRepertck Boye.
Merrie England in the Olden Time. By
G. Danie, Illustrated by CrurKsHANK.
Circus Life. By THomAs Frost.
Lives of the Conjurers. Tuomas Frost.
The Old Showmen and the Old London
Fairs. By THomAs Frost,
Low-Life Deeps. By James GREENWOOD.
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Wilds of London. James GREENWOOD,
Tunis. Chev. HEssE-WarTEGG, 22 Illusts.
Life and Adventures of a Gheap Jack.
World Behind the Scenes. P.FitzGERALD,
Tavern Anecdotes and Sayings.
The Genial Showman. By E.P, Hineston.
Story of London Parks. Jacos Larwoop,
London Characters, By Henry MayHeEw.
Seven Generations of Executioners.
Summer Cruising in the South Seas.
By C. WarRREN STopparD, Illustrated.
POPULAR SHILLING BOOKS.
Harry Fludyer at Cambridge.
Jeff Briggs’s Love Story. Bret Harte.
Twins of Table Mountain. Bret Harve.
Snow-bound at Eagle’s. By Bret Harre,
A Day’s Tour. By Percy FitzGERALp,
Esther’s Glove. By R.E. FRaNcILLon,
Sentenced! By SomMERVILLE GIBNEY,
The Professcr’s Wife. By L.Granam.
Mrs. Gainsborough’s Diamonds. By
ULIAN HAWTHORNE.
Niagara Spray. By J. Horiincsneap,
A Romance of the Queen’s Hounds. By
CHARLES JAMES.
Garden that Paid Rent. Tom Jerrotp.
Cut by the Mess. By ArrHurR Keyser.
Teresa Itasca. By A, MACALPINE.
Our Sensation Novel. J. H. McCarrny,
Doom! By Justin H. McCarruy.
Dolly. By Justin H, McCartny.
HANDY NOVELS.
The Old Maid’s Sweetheart, A.St.AUuBYN
Modest Little Sara. Aran St. AuBYN,
Lily Lass. Justin H. McCarrny.
Was She Good or Bad? By W. Mrin‘To.
Notes from the “News.†By Jas. Payn.
Beyond the Gates. By E. S, Puetps.
Old Maid’s Paradise. By E. S. PHeies.
Burglars in Paradise. By E. S, PHELPs.
Jack the Fisherman. By E. S. PHetps.
Trooping with Crows. By C. L. Pirkis,
Bible Characters. By CHARLES Reape.
Rogues. By R. H. Suzrarp,
The Dagonet Reciter. .By G. R. Sims.
How the Poor Live. By G. R. Sims.
Case of George Candlemas. G. R. Sims
Sandycroft Mystery. T.W. Spercur.
Hoodwinked. By T. W. Speicur.
Father Damien. By R.L, Stevenson,
A Double Bond. By Lrnpa Vitvart.
My Life with Stanley’s Rear Guard. By
HerBert Warp,
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Taken from the Enemy.
H. NEwBOLT,
A Lost Soul.
By W. L. ALDEN.
Seven Sleepers of Ephesus. M. E, CoLerincr. | Dy. Palliser’s Patient. Grant ALLEN,
CHATTO & WINDUS, 214, PICCADILLY. 27
MY LIBRARY. Printed on laid paper, post 8vo, half-Roxburghe, 2s. 6d. each.
Four Frenchwomen. By Austin Dosson, Christie Johnstone. By CHARLES READE,
Citation and Examination of William With a Photogravure Frontispiece,
Shakspeare. By W.S. Lanpor. Peg Woffington. By CuarLes READE.
The Journal of Maurice de Guerin. The Dramatic Essays of Charles Lamb.
THE POCKET LIBRARY. Post 8vo, printed on laid paper and hf.-bd., 2s. each,
The Essays of Elia. By CHarues Lams, White’s Natural History of Selborne.
Robinson Crusoe. Edited by Joun Major. | Gulliver’s Travels, and The Tale ofa
With 37 Illusts. by GEorGE CRUIKSHANK, Tub. By Dean Swirt:
Whims and Oddities. By Tuomas Hoop, The Rivals, School for Scandal, and other
With 85 Illustrations, Plays by RicHarD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN,
The Barber’s Chair, and The Hedgehog | Anecdotes of the Clergy. J. Larwoop.
Letters. By Doucias JERROLD. Thomson’s Seasons. Illustrated.
Gastronomy. By BRILLAT-SAVARIN. The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table
The Epicurean, &c. By THomas Moore. and The Professor at the Breakfast-
Leigh Hunt’s Essays. Ed. E. OLiier. Table. By OttvER WENDELL HotmeEs,
THE PICCADILLY NOVELS.
Liprary Epitrons oF NoveEts, many Illustrated, crown 8vo, cloth extra, 3s. Gd. each,
By EF. MW. ALLEN. By MACLAREN COBBAN.
Green as Grass. The Red Sultan.
By GRANT ALLEN. MORT. & FRANCES COLLINS,
Philistia. TheTents of Shem. | Transmigration. | Blacksmith&Scholar,
Babylon. _ For Maimie’s Sake. | From Midnight to Midnight.
Strange Stories. The Devil’s Die. Village Comedy. | Yau Play Me False,
Beckoning Hand. | This Mortal Coil. By WILKIE CUOLULINS,
In all Shades. The Great Taboo. Armadale. The Frozen Deep.’
Dumaresq’s Daughter. | Blood Royal. After Dark. The Two Destinies.
The Duchess of Powysland. No Name. Law and the Lady,
Ivan Greet’s Masterpiece. Antonina. | Basil. | Haunted Hotel.
By EDWIN L. ARNCLD. Hide and Seek. The Fallen Leaves.
Phra the Phoenician. The Dead Secret. | Jezebel’s Daughter.
The Constable of St. Nicholas. Queen of Hearts, | The Black Robe,
By ALAN ST. AUBYN. My Miscellanies. Heart and Science,
A Fellow of Trinity. | The Junior Dean, | Woman in White. |.“I Say No.â€
The Master of St. Benedict's. The Moonstone, Little Novels.
By Rev. S. BARING GOULD. Man and Wife. The Evil Genius.
Red Spider. | Eve. Poor Miss Finch, | The Legacy of Cain
By ROBERT BARR. Miss or Mrs? A Rogue’s Life.
In Steamer Chair | From Whose Bourne | New Magdalen. Blind: Love.
By W. BESANT & J. RACE. By DUTTON COOK.
My Little Girl. By Celia’s Arbour. | Paul Foster’s Daughter.
Case of Mr.Lucraft. | Monks of Thelema, By EDWARD H. COOPER.
This Son of Vulcan. | The Seamy Side. Geoffory Hamilton.
Golden Butterfly. | Ten Years’ Tenant. By V. CECIL COTES.
Ready-Money Mortiboy. Two Girls on a Barge.
With Harp and Crown. By MATT CRIM,
Twas in Trafalgar’s Bay. Adventures of a Fair Rebel.
The Chaplain of the Fleet. By B. M. CROMER.
By WALTER BESANT. Diana Barrington. | PrettyMiss Neville.
All Sorts and Conditions of Men. Proper Pride. A Bird of Passage.
The Captains’ Room. | Herr Paulus. A FamilyLikeness. | To Let.â€
Allin a Garden Fair | The Ivory Gate. By WILUIAM CYPLES.
The World Went Very Well Then. Hearts of Gold.
For Faith and Freedom. By ALPHONSE DAUDET.,
Dorothy Forster. j The Holy Rose. The Evangelist; or, Port Salvation.
Uncle Jack. | Armorel of Lyon- By ERASMUS DAWSON,
ChildrenofGibeon. | esse. The Fountain of Youth.
Bell of St. Paul’s. | St. Katherine’s by By JAMES DE MILLE.
To Call Her Mine.| the Tower. A Castle in Spain.
Verbena Camellia Stephanotis. By J. LELVTHE DERWENT.
By ROBERT BUCHANAN. Our Lady of Tears.| Circe’s Lovers,
The Shadow of the Sword. | Matt. By DICK DONOVAN.
A Child of Nature.| Heir of Linne. Tracked to Doom.
The Martyrdom of Madeline, Man from Manchester.
God and the Man. | The New Abelard. By A. CONAN DOYLE.
Love Me for Ever. | Foxglove Manor. The Firm of Girdlestone.
Annan Water. — | Masterof the Mine. By Mrs. ANNIE EDWARDES.
By HALL CASNE. Archie Lovell.
The Shadow of a Crime. By G. MANVILLE FENN.
A Son of Hagar. | The Deemster. The New Mistress. | Witness to the Deed.
28
BOOKS PUBLISHED BY
Tue PiccaDitty (3/6) NovELs—continued,
By PERCY FITZGERALD.
Fatal Zero.
By R. E. FRANCILLON.
Queen Copheiua. | A Real Queen.
One by One. King or Knaye.,
Dog & his Shadow. | Ropes of Sand.
Pref.by Sir BARTLE FRERE.,
Pandurang Hari.
ED. GARRETT.—The Capel Girls.
By PAUL GAULO’T.
The Red "shirts.
By CHARLES GIBBON.
Robin Gray. The Golden Shaft,
Loving a Dream. | Of High Degree.
The Blower of the Forest.
By E. GLANYILELE.
The Lost Heiress. | Yhe Fossicker.
A Fair ops
By BE. J. GOe OO HAN.
The Fate of Herbert Wayne.
By CECIL GRIF #A'WEL,
Corinthia Marazion.
By SYDNEY GRUNDY.
The Days of his Yanit;.
By THOMAS VARDY
Under the Greenwood Tree.
By BRET ARTE.
A Waif of the Plains. | Sally Dows.
A Ward of the Golden Gate.
A Sap ppho of Green Springs.
Colonel Starbottle’s Client. |
A Protégée of Jack Hamlin’s.
By JULIAN HAWTHORNE.
Garth, Dust.
Ellice Quentin. Fortune’s Fool.
Sebastian Strome. | Beatrix Randolph.
David Poindexter’s Disappearance.
The Spectre of the Camera.
By Sir A. WELPS.—Ivan de Biron.
By iSaac. HLENDERSON.
Agatha Page.
By Mrs. HUNGEREFORD.
Lady Verner’s Flight.
By Virs. ALLRED HUNT,
The Leaden Casket. | Self-Condemned.
That Other Person. | Mrs. Juliet,
By R. ASHE KENG.
& Drawn Game.
“The Wearing of the Green.â€
y E. LYNN LINTON.
Patricia Kemball. | Jone.
Under which Lord? | Paston Carew.
“My Loye!†Sowing the Wind:
The Atonement of Leam Dundas,
The World Well Lost.
By HENRY W. LUcY.
Gideon Fleyce.
By JUSLAN McCARTITY.
Susy.
A Fair Saxon. Donna Quixote.
Linley Rochford. | Maid of Athens.
Miss Misanthrope. | Camiola.
The Waterdale Neighbours,
My Enemy’s Daughter.
Dear Lady Disdain. it The Dictator.
The Comet of a Sea
By GEORGE A CDONALD.
Heather and Snow.
Ky AGNES MACDONELL.
Quaker Cousins.
By BERTRAM MITFORD.
The Gun-Runner. | The King’s Assegai.
The Luck of Gerard Ridgeley. 1
Tue PiccaDILty (3/6) Novets—continued,
By D. CHRISTIE WURRAY.
Life’s Atonement. | Val Strange.
Joseph’s Coat. Hearts.
Coals of Fire. A Model Father.
Old Blazer’s Hero. | Time’s Revenges.
By the Gateof the Sea.
A Bit of Human Nature,
First Person Singular. | Cynic Fortune.
The Way of the World.
Bob Martin’s Little Girl.
By PURRBAY & HMERWAN.
The Bishops’ Bible. | Paul Jones’s Alias,
One Traveller Returns.
By HEU NISBET.
“Bail Up!â€
By GEORGES OHNET,
A Weird oe
By OUIDA.
Held in Bondage. | Two Little Wooden
Strathmore. Shoes,
Chandos, In a Winter City.
Under Two Flags, | Ariadne.
Idalia. Friendship.
CecilCastlemaine’s | Moths. .| Ruffino.
Gage. Pipistrello.
Tricotrin. | Puck.| AVillageCommune
Folie Farine. Bimbi. | Wanda.
A Dog of Flanders.
Pascarel. | Signa.
Princess Naprax-
Frescoes.| Othmar.
In Maremma,
Syrlin.| Guilderoy.
ne. Santa Fara
By MARGARET A. PAU.
Gentle and Simple.
By JAVIES PAWN.
Lost Sir Massingberd.
Less Black than We’re Painted.
A Confidential Agent.
A Grape from a Thorn.
In Peril and Privation.
The Mystery of Mirbridge
The Canon’s Ward.
Walter’s Word. Holiday Tasks.
For Cash Only.
By Proxy.
High Spirits, The Burnt Million.
Under One Roof. | The Word and the
From Exile. Will.
Glow-worm Tales. | Sunny Stories.
Talk of the Town. | A Trying Patient.
By E. C. PRICE.
Valentina. The Foreigners,
Mrs, Lancaster’s Rival.
By RICHARD PRYCE.
Biss Maxwell’s Affections.
y CHARLES READE.
It is TRover Too Late to Mend,
The Double Marriage.
Love Me Little, Love Me Long,
The Cloister and the Hearth.
The Course of True Love.
The Autobiography of a Thief
Put Yourself in his Place.
A Terrible Temptation. | The Jilt,
Singleheart and. Doubletace.
Good Stories of Men and other Animals.
Hard Cash. Wandering Heir.
Peg Woffington. A Woman-Hater.
ChristieJohnstone. | A Simpleton.
Griffith Gaunt. Readiana.
Foul Play. A Perilous Secret.
By Wires. J, HW. RIDDELE.
The Prince of Wales’s Garden Party.
Weird Stories.
CHATTO & WINDUS, 214, PICCADILLY. 29
THE PICCADILLY (3/6) NO we cnet
y AMELIE Riv.
Raybara Dering.
By F. W. ROBINSON.
The Hands of Justice.
By W. CLARK BUSSELE.
Ocean Tragedy. | My Shipmate Louise.
Alone on a Wide Wide Sea.
By JOHN SAUNDERS.
Guy Waterman. | Two Dreamers.
Bound to Wheel. Lion in the Path.
By KA'THRARINE SAUNDERS,
Margaret and Elizabeth.
Gideon’s Rock. | Heart Salvage.
The High Mills. Sebastian.
By WAWLEY SWART.
Without Love or Licence.
By R. A. STERNDALE.
The Afghan Knife.
By BERTHA THOMAS.
Proud ‘Maisie. | The Violin- a ole y ore
By FRANCES KE. TROLLOPE,
Like Ships upon the Sea.
Anne Furness, | Mabel’s Progress.
Tue PriccabDi.ty (3/6) Novets—continued,
By IVAN TURGENIEERSR, &c.
Stories from Foraign Novelists.
By ANTHONY TROLLOPE.
Frau Frohmann. | Land-Leaguers.
Marion Fay. | The Way We Live Now.
Mr. Scarborough’s Family.
By €. c. FEASER-EYTLER,
Mistress Judith,
By SARAH TYWTLER.
The Bride’s Pass. | Lady Beli.
Buried Diamonds. | Blackhall Ghosts.
y MARK TWAEN.
The American Claimant.
The £1,000,000 ees
By ALLEN UPWARD.
The Queen Against Owen.
By J. S. WINTER.
A Soldier’s Children.
Sy FIARGARE'T WWNNWAN,
My Elirtations.
By E. ZOLA.
The Downfall, Dr. Pascal.
The Dream. Money.
CHEAP EDITIONS OF POPULAR NOVELS.
Post 8vo, illustrated boards, 2s. each,
By ARTEMUS WARD.
Artemus Ward Complete.
By EDIION. ABOUT.
The Fellan.
y MAMEL EON AIDE.
Carr at Peery on. | Confidences.
By MARY ALBERT.
Brooke Finchley’s cee
By Virs. ALEXANDER.
Maid, ok Wide s is Valerie’ Fate.
By GRANT ALLEN.
Strange Stories. The Deyil’s Die.
Philistia, This Mortal Coil.
Babylon. in all Shades.
The Beckoning Hand. | Blood Royal.
For Maimie’s Sake. | Tents of Shem.
Great Taboo. | Dumaresq’s Daughter.
The Duchess of Powysland.
By E. LESTER ARNOLD.
Phra the Phonician.
By ALAN ST. AUBYWN.
A Fellow of Trinity. | The Junior Dean.
The Master of St. Bonedict’s.
By Rev. 8S. BARING GOULD.
Red Spider. Eve,
By FRANK BARRETT.
Fottered for Life. | Little Lady Lintcn.
Between Life and Death.
The Sin of Olga Zassoulich.
Folly Morrison. |Honest Davie.
Lieut. Barnabas.|A Prodigal’s Progress.
Found Guilty. | A Recoiling Vengeance.
For Love and Honour.
John Ford; ang ie Helpmate.
By W. BESANT & J. RICE.
This Son ofvuloan. By Celia’s Arbour.
My Little Girl. Monks of Thelema,
Case of Mr.Lucraft. | The Seamy Side.
Golden Butterfly. | Ten Years’ Tenant.
Ready-Money Mortiboy.
With Harp and Crown.
‘Twas in Trafalgar’s Bay.
The Chaplain of the Fleet,
By WALTER BESANT.
Dorothy Forster. | Uncle Jack.
Children of Gibeon. | Herr Paulus.
All Sorts and Conditions of Men.
The Captains’ Room.
All in a Garden Fair.
The World Went Very Well Then.
For Faith and Freedom, ?
To Call Her Mine,
The Bell of St. Paul’s. | The Holy Rose.
Armorel of Lyonesse. | The Ivory Gate.
St. Katherine’s-by the Tower.
see Camellia Stephanotis.
BySHELSLEY BEAUCHIAMP.
Grantley Grange.
By AMBROSE BIERCE,
In the Midst of Life,
By FREDERICK BOWLE.
Camp Notes. | Savage Life.
Chronicles of No-man’s Land.
By BRET HARTER,
Californian Stories. | Gabriel Conroy.
An Heiress of Red Dog. Flip
The Luck of Roaring Camp. Maruja.
A Phyllis of the Sierras.
By HAROLD BRYDGES.
Oncle Sam at Home.
By ROBERT BUCHANAN.
The Shadow of the} The eeuiredom of
Sword. Madeline.
A Child of Nature.| Annan Water.
God and the Man.| The New Abelard.
Love Me for Eyer. | Matt,
Foxglove Manor. | The Heir of Linne.
The Master of the Mine,
By HALL CAINE,
The Shadow of a Crime,
A Son of Hagar. _| The Deemster.
By Coe CANIE RON,
The Cruise of the “Black Prince.â€
By Mrs. LOVE'N'T CAMERON.
Deceivers Ever. | Julist’s Guardian.
30
BOOKS PUBLISHED BY
Two-Suittinc NoveLts—continued,
By AUSTIN CLARE.
For the Love of a Lass.
By Ws. ARCHER CLIVE.
Paul Ferroll.
Why Paul Ferroll Killed his Wife.
By MWACLAREN COBBAN.
The Cure of Souls.
By C.
The Bar Sinister.
ALLSTON COLLINS.
MORT. & FRANCES COLLINS.
Sweet Anne Page. | TEE Ta IORe
From Midnight to Midnight.
Fight with Fortune. | Village Comedy.
Sweet and Twenty.
Blacksmith and Scholar. |
You Play me False.
Frances.
By WILKIE COLLINS.
Armadale.
After Dark.
No Name.
Antonina. | Basil.
Hide and Seek.
The Dead Secret.
Queen of Hearts.
Miss or Mrs?
New Magdalen.
The Frozen Deep.
Law and the Lady.
The Two Destinies,
Haunted Hotel.
A Rogue’s Life.
My Miscellanies.
Woman in White.
The Moonstone.
Man and Wife.
Poor Miss Finch.
The Fallen Leaves,
Jezehel’s Daughter
The Slack Robe.
Heart and Science.
“TI Say No.’
The Evil Genius,
Little Novels.
Legacy of Cain.
Blind Love.
By WW. J. COLQUHOUN.
Every Inch a Soldier
By DUTTON Cook.
Leo. | Paul Foster’s Daughter.
By C. EGBERT CRADDOCK.
Prophet ot a Great Smoky Mountains.
MATE Crea.
waventures of a Fair Rebel.
y BE. MW. CROKER.
Pretty Miss Neville. | Bird of Passage,
Diana aaa Proper Pride.
“To Let.†A Family Likeness.
By W. CYPRUS. Hears of Gold.
By ALPHONSE DAUDET.
The eee or, Port Salvation.
By E MUS DAWSON,
The Fountain St Youth.
By JAMES DE MILLE.
A Castle in Spain.
By J. LELTHR DERWENT.
Our Lady of Tears. | Circe’s oa ee
By CHARLES DICKENS.
Sketches by Boz. | Oliver Taiet
Pickwick Papers. ianeles Nickleby.
By DICK ONOVAN.
The Man-Hunter. | Caught at Last!
Tracked and Taken. | Wanted
Who Poisoned Hetty Duncan?
The Man from Manchester.
A Detective’s Triumphs.
In the Grip of the Law.
From Information Received.
Tracked to Doom. | Link by Link.
Suspicion Aroused.
By VMirs. ANNXE EDWARDES.
A Point of Honour. | Archie Lovell.
By M. BETHAM-EDWARDS. |
Felicia. | Kitty.
By EDW. EGELESTON.—Rory.
By G. MANVILLE FEN
The New Mistress,
Two-SuHittinc Novets—continued,
By PERCY FITZGERALD.
Bella Donna.
Never Forgotten.
Polly.
Fatal Zero,
The Second Mrs. Tillotson.
Seventy-five Brooke Street.
The Lady of Brantome.
By P. FETZGERALD and others,
Strange Secrets.
ALBANY
ae Lucre.
DE FONBLANQUE.
BR. E. FRANCILLON.
Olympia.
One by One.
A Real Queen.
Queen Cophetua,
King or Knaye?
Romances of Law.
By HAROLD FREDERICK.
Seth’s Brother’s Wife. | Lawton Girl.
Pret. by Sir BARTLE FRERE.
Pandurang Hari.
HAIN FRISWELL.— One of Two,
By EDWARD GARKE!rT.
The Capel Girls.
By GILBERT GAUL.
A Strange Manuscript.
By CHARLES GIBBON.
Robin Gray.
Fancy Free.
For Lack of Gold.
What will the
World Say?
In Love and War.
For the King.
In Pastures Green.
ueen of Meadow.
Heart’s Problem.
The Dead Heart.
In Honour Bound.
Flower of Forest.
Braes of Yarrow.
The Golden Shaft.
Of High Degree.
Mead and Stream.
Loving a Dream.
A Hard Knot.
Heart’s Delight.
Blood-Money.
By WILLIAM GILBERT.
Dr. Austin’s Guests. | James Duke.
The Wizard of the Mountain.
By ERNEST GLANVILLE.
The Lost Heiress. | The Fossicker.
By HENRY GREVILLE.
A Noble Woman.
B
| Nikanor.
y CECIL GRIFFITH.
Corinthia Marazion.
By JOHN HABBERTON.
Brueton’ 8 Bayou. | Country Luck.
By ANDREW HALLIDAY.
Hyery Day Papers.
By
Lady DUFFUS HARDY.
Paul Wynter’s Sacrifice.
By THOWAS HARDY.
Under the Greenwood Tree
By J. BERWICK HARWOOD.
The Tenth Earl.
By JULIAN HAWTHORNE.
Garth.
Ellice Quentin.
Fortune’s Fool.
Miss Cadogna.
Sebastian Strome.
Dust.
Beatrix Randolph.
Love—or a Name.
David Poindexter’s Disa Bpearances
The arene of the Camera.
y Sir’ ARTHUR HELPS.
Ivan “ae Biron.
y BENRY HERMAN.
BB
A Leading Lady.
By HMEADON HILL.
Zambra the Detective.
ByJ
HEL. Treason Felony,
By Mrs. CASHEL HOE
The Lover’s Creed.
Ewo-S Smeiinc Novens—continued,
By Mrs. GEORGE HOOPER.
The poe of Raby.
7 GH E. HOPKINS.
Twine Love and Duty.
‘ By Mrs. LONGEREFORD.
A Maiden all Forlorn,
In Durance Vile, | A Mental Struggle.
Marvel. A Modern Circe.
By Mys. ALFRED HIUNT.
Thornicrott’ 's Model. | Self-Condemned,
That Other Person. | Leaden Casket. -
By JEAN INGELOW.
Fated to be Free.
Wir. JANAESON.—My Dead Self.
By HARRIETT JAY.
Dark Colleen. |. Queen of Connaught,
By MARK KERSHAW.
Colonial Facts and Fictions.
By KR. ASHE KING.
A Drawn Game. Passion’s Slave.
“The Wearing of the Green.â€
Bell Barry.
By JONHIN LEYWS.—The Lindsays,
By E. LYNN LINTON.
Patricia Kemball. | Paston Carew.
World Well Lost. | “My Love!â€
Under which Lord? | Ione.
The Atonement of Leam Dundas,
With a Silken Thread.
The Rebel of the Family.
Sowing the Wind
'y HENRY W. LUCY.
Gideon Bleyos.
By JUSTIN McCARTIY.
A Fair Saxon. Donna Quixote.
Linley Rochford. | Maid of Athens.
Miss Misanthrope. | Camiola.
Dear Lady Disdain.
The Waterdale Neighbours,
My Enemy’s Daughter.
The Comet of a Season.
By HUGH MACCOLL
Mr. Stranger’s Sealed Packet.
By AGNES MACDONELL.
Quaker Cousins.
MATHARINE 8S. MACQUOID.
The Evil Eye. | Lost Rose.
By W. I. MALLOCK,
The New Republic.
A Romance of the Nineteenth Century.
By FLORENCE MARRYA'T.
Open! Sesame! | Fighting the Air.
A Harvest of Wild Oats.
Written in Fire.
By J. MA Ae
Half-a-dozen Daughte’
By BRANDER MATTE ws.
A Secret of the Sea,
By LEONARD MERRICK,
The Man who was Good.
By JEAN MIDDLEMASS.
Touch and Go. Mr. Dorillion.
By Mrs. MOLESWORTH.
Hathercourt Rectory.
y J. Ee MUDDOCK.
Stories Weird and Wonderful.
The Dead Man’s Secret,
From the Bosom of the Deep.
By WURRAY and HERMAN.
One Traveller Returns.
Paul Jones’s Alias. | The Bishops’ Bible.
a ‘
‘
CHATTO & WINDUS, 214, PICCADILLY.
31
‘Two SHILLING NoveLs—continucd,
By D. CHRISTIE WURRAY.
A Model Father.
Joseph’s Coat.
Coals of Fire.
Val Strange.
Old Blazer’s Hero,
Hearts.
Way of the World,
Cynic Fortune,
A Life’s Atonement.
By the Gate of the Sea.
A Bit of Human Nature,
First Person Singular,
Bob Martin’s Little Girl.
By HENRY MURRAY.’
A Game of Bluff, | A Song of Sixpence.
By HUME NISBET,
“Bail Up!†| Dr. Bernard St. Vincent,
By ALICE O'HANLON.
The Unforeseen. |
Chance? or Fate?
By GEORGES OHNET.
Dr. Rameau, | Last
Love. | Weird Gift,
By Mrs. OLIPHANT.
Whiteladies.
| The Primrose Path.
The Greatest Heiress in England.
By Mrs. ROBERT O'REILLY.
Pheebe’s Fortunes.
By 0
Held in Bondage.
Strathmore.
Chandos, | Idalia.
Under Two Flags.
CecilCastlemaine’s
Gage.
Tricotrin. | Puck,
Folle Farine.
A Dog of Flanders.
Pascarel.
Signa. [ine,
Princess Naprax-
In a Winter City.
Ariadne.
UIDA.
Two Little Wooden
Shoes.
Friendship.
Moths. | Bimbi.
Fipiseretics (mune.
Village Gom-
Wanday Othmar,
Frescoes.
In Maremma,
Guilderoy.
Ruffino, | Syrlin.
Santa Barbara.
QOuida’s Wisdom,
Wit, and Pathos,
AUL.
MARGARET AGNES PA
Gentle and Simple.
By JAMES PAYN.
Bentinck’s Tutor.
Murphy’s Master.
A County Family.
At Her Mercy.
Cecil’s Tryst.
Clyffards of Clyffe.
Foster Brothers.
Found Dead.
Best of Husbands.
Walter’s Word.
Halves.
Fallen Fortunes.
Humorous Stories.
£200 Reward.
Marine Residence.
Mirk Abbey.
By Proxy.|
Under One Roof.
High Spirits.
Carlyon’s Year.
From Exile.
ie Cash Only.
The Canon’s Ward
Talk of the Town.
Holiday Tasks.
A Perfect Treasure,
What He Cost Her,
Confidential Agent.
Glow-worm Tales.
The Burnt Million.
Sunny Stories.
Lost Sir Massingberd.
A Woman’s Vengeance.
The Family Scapegrace.
Gwendoline’s Harvest.
Like Father, Like Son.
Married Beneath Him,
Not Wooed, but Won
Less Black than We ra Painted,
Some Private Views.
A Grape from a Thorn.
The Mystery of Mirbridge.
The Word and the
A Prince of the Blood.
Will.
32
BOOKS PUBLISHED BY CHATTO & WiNDUS.
Two-SHILLING NovELs—continued,
By C. L. PIRAGES,
Lady Lavetace,
y EDGAR A. POE.
The iaysicry of Marie Roget.
By irs. CAMPRELE PRAED.,
The Romance of a Station.
The Soul of Countess Adrian.
By EE. C. PRAvH.
Valentina. The Foreigners,
Mrs. Lancaster’s Rival. | Gerald.
y BECHARD PRYCE.
Miss Maxwell's Affections.
y CHARLES READE.
It is Never Too Late to Mend. _
Christie Johnstone. | Double Marriage,
Put Yourself in His Place.
Love Ma Little, Love Me. Long,
The Cloister and the Hearth.
The Course of True Love. | The Jilt.
Autobiography of a Thief.
A Terrible Temptation. | Foul Play.
The Wandering Heir. | Hard Cash.
Singleheart and Doubleéface.
Good Stories of Men and other Animals,
Peg Woffington. A Simplcton.
Griffith Gaunt. Readiana.
A Perilous Secret. | A Woman-Hater,
By Ms. J. HT. REIDDELE.
Weird Stories. | Fairy Water.
Her Mother’s Darling.
Prince of Wales’s Garden Party.
The Uninhabited House.
The Mystery in Palace Gardens.
The Nun’s Curse. Idle Taics.
ELE RAVES.
Barbara ering
By F. W. ROBINSON.
Women are Strange.
The Hands of Justice.
By JAMES ROUNCESIAN.
Skippers and Shellbacks.
Grace Balmaign’s Sweetheart.
Schools and Scholars.
By W. CLARK “RUSSELL.
Round the Galley Fire.
On the Fo’k’sle Head.
In the Middle Watch.
A Voyage to the Cape.
A Book for the Hammock.
The Mystery of the “Ocean Star.â€
The Romance of Jenny Harlowe.
An Ocean Tragedy.
My Shipmate Louise.
Alone on a Wide Wide Sea.
_, GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA.
“Gaslight and Daylight.
Hey SOEIN SAUNDERS.
Guy Waterman. | Iwo Dreamers,
The Lion in the Path.
By KATHARINE SAUNDERS,
Joan Merryweather. | Heart Salvage,
The High Mills. Sebastian,
Margaret and Elizabeth.
By GEORGE R. SIMS,
Rogues and Vagabonds,
The Ring o’ Bells.
Mary Jane’s Memoirs.
Mary Jane Married.
Tales of To-day. | Dramas of Life.
a eee 's Crime,
Zeph. | My Two Wives.
OGDEN, SMALE AND CO, LIMITED,
Two-SHILLInGc NoveLts—continued.
By ARTHUR SHETOCEHLEY.
A Match in the Dark.
By HAWLEY SHARE.
Without Love or Licence.
y BW. SPHEGMT,
The Mysteries of Heron Dyke.
The Golden Hoop. | By Devious Ways.
Hoodwinked, &c. | Back to Life,
The Loudwater Tragedy.
Burgo’s Romance.
y RK. A. STERNDALE,
The Afghan Knife,
By KR. LOWES STEVENSON.
New a aeablen Nights. | Prince Otte.
BY BERBTHA THOMAS.
Cressida,|Proud Maisie. | Violin-player.
By WAL'RER ‘THORNE UH.
Tales for Marines.|Oid Stories Re-told.
a. ADOLPHUS PROLLOPE,
Diamond Cut Diamond.
By fF. ELHZANOR TROLLOPE,
Like Ships upon the Sea.
Anne Furness. Mabel’s Progress.
By ANEHIONY PROLLGPE.
Frau Frohmann. | Kept in the Dark.
Marion Fay. John Caldigate.
Way We Live Now. | Land-Leaguers.
The American Senator.
Mz. Scarborough’s Family.
The oder Lion of Granpere.
By J. &. TROWERIDGE.
teeny s vole
BBy H N TURGENIEFS, &c.
Stories Sen Foreign Novelists.
y MARK TWWAXIN.
A Pleasure Trip on the Continent. |
The Gilded Age. | Huckleberry. Finn,
Mark Twain’s Sketches.
Tom Sawyer. | A Tramp Abroad,
The Stolen White Elephant.
Life on the Mississippi.
Ths Prince and the Pauper.
A Yankee at the Court of King Arthur.
By C. C. FRASER-TYTLER.
Mistress Judith.
By SARAH TYTLER.
The Bride’ 8 Pass. | Noblesse Oblige,
Buried Diamonds. | Disappeared.
Saint Monee sCity. Huguenat Family.
Lady B Blackhall Ghosts.
What Bue Came Through,
Beauty and the Beast,
Citoyenne Jaqueline.
By AARON WATSON and
LILLIAS WASSERMANN.
The Marquis of Carabas.
By WELLIAM WESTALL,
Trust- Money.
By irs. E'. HE. WELLEAMSON.
A Child tgs:
y J. 8. WINTER,
Cavalry L Life. | Regimental Legends.
By Hi. F. WOoD. ‘
The Passenger from Scotland Yard.
The Englishman of the Rue Cain.
By Lady WOOD.—Sabina.
CELIA PARKER WOOLLEY.
Rachol Armstrong; or, Love & Theology
By EDMUND YATES,
The Forlorn Hope, | Land at Last.
Castaway.
PRINTERS, GREAT. SAFFRON HILL, E,Co
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