Gulliver's travels into several remote nations of the world

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GULLIVER’S TRAVELS.

















GULLIVER'S TRAVELS

INTO SEVERAL

REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD.

BY JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.

DEAN OF ST, PATRICK’S.
dBith a Bile of He Anthor.

EMBELLISHED WITH NUMEROUS ENGRAVINGS,

BY FIRST-RATE ARTISTS,

LONDON :
WILLOUGHBY & ©O., SMITHFIELD & WARWICK LANE.



PREFACE.



TuERE is nothing so joyous as a fresh and vigorous
boyhood, and none are so happy as boys, in their
pleasures, sports, and pastimes: their gallant ex-
ploits, their noble magnanimity, and ripe-hearted
-disinterestedness, win all hearts. It has long been
my delight to record their “doings” in the play-
ground, the school-room, or in the holiday rambic ;
and it will be my delight to do so still, in this and
succeeding volumes. Sincerely do I hope that I
Gee be able to add sterling gold.to the “golden
age,” and afford to Young England, amid many
comicalities and much laughter, some serious lessons,
and even wisdom; so that each volume may be a
cheerful play-mate, a steady school-mate, and a
ready help-mate to recreation and instruction, not
only during the “Holiday Season,” but “ ALL THE
Year Ronn.”

Your affectionate friend,
Wiiiiam Marry,

Holly Lodge,
July, 14, 1860.











t . 3
2 a, & Ge







CONTENTS.

MEMOIR of Dean Swift SuSE. tuccuveitan £2 Ae
PART I.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

CHAP. I.—The author gives some account of himself and family: his first inducements
to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life; gets safe on shore in the ee
of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and carried up the country .

CHAP. 11.—The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to see
the author in his confinement. ‘The emperor’s person and habit described. Learned
men appointed to teach the author their language. He gains favour by his mild
disposition. His pockets are searched and his sword and pistols taken from him

CHAP. 11I.—The author diverts the emperor and his nobility of both sexes, in a very
uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput described. ‘The author
has his liberty granted him upon certain conditions .

CHAP. IV.—Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the emperor’ s
palace. A conversation between the author and the principal secretary, concerning
the affairs of that empire. The author offers to serve the emperor in his wars . >

CHAP. V.—The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion, A
high title of honour is conferred on him. Ambassadors arrive from the emperor of
Blefuscu and sue for peace. The empress’s apartments on fire by accident: the
author instrumental in saving the rest of the palace.

CHAP. V1.-—Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs, the
manner of educating their children. ‘The author’s way of living in that country.
His vindication ofa great lady.

CHAP. VII.—The author being informed of a design to accuse him of high treason,
makes his escape to Blefuscu, His reception there .

CHAP. VIIT.—-The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave ‘Blefuscu ; * and,
after some difficuities, returns safe to his native country ‘ . .

PART II.

A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

CHAP. I.—A great storn: described, the long-boat sent to fetch water, the author goes
with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by one of the natives,
and carried to a farmer’s house. is reception, with several accidents that happened
there. A description of the inhabitants ‘ . . . : . ° :

CHAP. II.—A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a market
town and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his journey.

CHAP. I1I.—The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his ‘master the far.
mer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with ‘his majesty’s great scholars,
An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in high favour with the
queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. His ——_ with the
queen’s dwarf .

CHAP. 1V.—The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The
king’s palace, and some account of the metropolis. The author's cg of trav oo
The chief temple described .

CITAP. V.—Several adventures that happened to the author. The execution of a
criminal, The author shows his skillin navigation .

CHAP. VI.—Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen ; he
shows his skill in music. ‘The king inquires into the state of England, which the
author relates to him. The king’s observations thereon.

CHAP. VII.—The author’s love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advan-
tage to the king, which is rejected. The king’s great ignorance in politics. ‘Ihe
learning, of that country very ETERS and confined. ‘Ihe laws and military affairs,
and parties in the state ‘

CHAP. VIII.—The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. ‘The author
attend them. The manner in which he leaves the country age particularly related.
He returns to England °

" PART Il.

A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, &c.

CHAP. I.—The author sets out on his third voyage, is taken by pirates. The malice
ofa Dutchman. His arrival at an island He is received into Laputa 4 i

CHAP. II.—The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account of

their learning. Of the king and his court. The author’s reception there. ‘The in-

habitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An account of the women 3

12

22

3¢

42
52

61

69
82

88

99
104

148



CONTENTS.
PAGE,
CHAP. IIf.—A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The La-
putians’ great improvements in the latter. The king’s method of suppressing
insurrections . » ° . ° ‘ ‘ ; ‘ ; ° ‘ . ; 156
CHAP. IV.—The author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at the me-
tropolis. A description of the metropolis and the country adjoining. The author
hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation with that lord. ; . 161
CHAP. V.—The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy
largely described. ‘The arts wherein the professors employ themselves _, :
CHAP. VI.—A further account of the academy. The author proposes some improve-
ments, which are honourably received . ‘ i ; . ‘ ; M . 174
CHAP. VII.—The author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready.
He takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the governor . ' . 180
CHAP. VIIL—A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history
corrected , ’ ’ ; ‘ ; ‘ ‘ 5 3 r é ; *
CHAP. 1X.—The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnageg.
The author confined. He is sent for to court. The manner of his admittance. The
king’s great lenity to his subjects. . 2th : : . ° >. te ae
CHAP. X.—The Luggnaggians commended.—A particular description of the Struld-
brugs, with many conversations between the author and some eminent persons upon
that subject . . . < ° 3 . ‘ ‘ : ; 4 .
CHAP. XI. —The author leaves Luggnagg and sails to Japan. From thence he returns
in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England 4 : i . 203

PART IV.

A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS,

CHAP. I.—The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against him,
confine him a long time to his cabin. Set him on shore in an unknown land. He
travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange sort of animal, described. The
author meets two Houyhnhnms ‘ ; : ° ‘ : ‘ , :

CHAP. II.—The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house
described. The author’s reception. ‘The food of the Houyhnhnms. The author in
distress for want of meat, is at last relieved. His manner of feeding in this country . 225

CHAP. IlI.—The author studies to learn the language; the Houyhnhnm, his master,
assists in teaching him the language described. Several Houyhnhnms of quality come
out of curiosity to see the author. He gives his master a short account of his voyage. 231

CHAP. 1V.—The Houyhnhnm’s notion of truth and falsehood. The author’s discourse
disapproved by his master. ‘I'he author gives a more particular account of himself,
and the accidents of his voyage ; ‘ : : ; : ; ‘ ; ;

CHAP. V.—The author, at his master’s command, informs him of the state of England.
The causes of war among the princes of Europe. ‘The author begins to explain the

167

185

218

237

English constitution . ; : ce 3%% : ° ‘ s . ‘ : . 245
CHAB. VI.—A continuation of the state of England under queen Anne. The character
of a first minister of state in European courts. ° 253

CHAP. VII—The author’s great love to his native country. His master’s observations
upon the constitution and administration of England. as described by the author,
with parallel cases and comparisons. His master’s observations upon human nature . 261

CHAP, VIII—The author relates several particulars of the Yahoos. The great
virtues of the Houyhnhnms. The education and exercise of their youth. Their

eneral assembly. ¢ » : ; . 7 oe ie : ; ; . 269

CHAP. IX.—A grand debate at the general assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it
was determined. The learning of the Houyhnhnms. Their buildings. The number
of burials. ‘The defectiveness of their language . ‘ : - . ; : ‘

CHAP. X.—The author’s economy, and happy life among the Houyhnhnms, His great
improvement in virtue by conversing with them. ‘Their conversations. The author
has notice given him by his master that he must depart from the country. He falls
into a swoon for grief; but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the help of
a fellow servant, and puts to sea at a venture alee oe ° > , : , . 282

CHAP. XI.—The author’s dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping to
settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives. Is seized and carried
by force into a Portuguese ship. The great civilities of the captain. The author
arrives at England . . . ‘ : ‘ : ’ ‘ ° ° ° . 290

CHAP. XI1.—The author’s veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censure
of those travellers who swerve from the truth. he author clears himself from any
sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The method of planting colonies.
His native country commended. The right of the crown to those countries described
by the author, is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The author takes
his last leave of the reader: proposes his manner of living for the future: gives good
advice and concludes . . . . a a eee ee Se 298

277



BIOGRAPHICAL NOTICE

OF THE

LIFE OF JONATHAN SWIFT,

DEAN OF ST. PATRICK’S.





i OW Jonathan Swift merited the praises, or deserved
Wes the censure of posterity, let the record of his life
» and doings, carefully set forth by his biographers,
decide.

Every age and country has produced its wits and
satirists ; every phase of social and political existence
has been observed by historians and philosophers,—
yet never was there, in any time or land, a man pos-
sessed of such rich intellectual gifts, whose attain-
ments produced more brilliant results or less real
good, than he whose life we are about to pourtray.

) Nevertheless, the history of this celebrated man is replete with
instruction and encouragement to literary aspirants; and, while
we admire the industry, perseverance, and talent of Swift, the
records of his doings teach us to avoid the perils that attend the abandon-
ment of principle, and hold out a warning example of the misery result-
ing from a too loose rein upon the passions.

Born in obscurity, and almost in want—educated by the charity of rela-
tions—sent: from his university with no honour, nay, almost disgrace—
patronised by a statesman with no influence, and yet of an exacting and
supercilious disposition, the early years of Swift exhibit little else than the
humiliation of genius and the sickness of heart which arises from hope de-
ferred. Nevertheless, by a steady perseverance in the path he had chosen,
and by an honourable exertion of talent, he won fer himself a name and
position, and at a remarkable crisis was patronised, caressed, and
honoured by the leading men of all parties. At the moment when Swift
was at the zenith of his influence, when fortune and power seemed to
be lying at his feet, the whigs, his patrons, lost the favour of the queen
and the confidence of the people; and he at once went over to the tories.
His wit and talents were now employed to assail his former friends,

30



ll LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

whose warm supporter he had been, with all the rancour of a renegade.
Though politically powerful he was morally weak; and his patrons, while
they feared, detested him; and in his new position it was his fate to be
dreaded by both parties in the state, while he was respected by few and
loved by none. if the reign of Anne nobility and wit shared the public
influence and applause ; and the pens of Addison and Swift were no less valu-
able to their party than the sword of Marlborough ; and Bolingbroke him-
self contributed no little by his writings to the efficient support of his failing
cabinet. The tories beguiled Swift with promises of preferment; and at last,
when his support was no longer necessary, though he expected at least a
bishopric, shelved him with the deanery of St. Patrick’s; and, eventually,
when they were themselves removed from power, their ct-devant apologist
appeared to be consigned to hopeless oblivion and neglect. The private lita
ot Swift was no less extraordinary ; and it will be our task in the follow-
ing pages to show that, while he was the cause of unhappiness and misery to
at least two beautiful and accomplished women, he was incapable of feeling
the passion of love in anything but its grossness, or the sentiment of friend-
ship in aught but its exacting and selfish spirit. Miserable himself from
the indulgence of a false philosophy and a disappointed ambition, he caused
those he esteemed to share his unhappiness; and while indulging in misan-
thropy and spleen, private life gave the dean no consolation for the failure
of his hopes m public life: if at one time his genius rose superior to mis-
fortune, at another he proved too certainly that fame can only be achieved
by a steady and consistent course of exertion. His whole life teaches the
efact that political influence is valueless when not beneficially exerted, and
that the applause of crowds brings no solid comfort or enduring happiness
unless shared with the approval of the silent monitor within.

Jonathan Swift was born in Dublin on the 30th day of November, m
the year 1667. He was sometimes heard to say that he was an English-
man, and that he was brought over to Ireland in a bandbox; and he once
seriously asserted to Pope that he was born in England. At a later period
he used to point out the house in Dublin in which he was born. This incon-
sistency can hardly be called an eccentricity of genius. It merely amounts
to this, that Swift told a very foolish untruth, the motive for which is not
now discoverable. He was descended from a younger branch of the Switt
family in the county of York. His father was the sixth son of the Rev.
Thomas Swift, vicar of Goderich, and was bred to the profession of the law.
The extensive confiscations in Ireland consequent to the civil wars in 1641,
and afterwards ratified by the acts of settlement and explanation, had
transferred an immense amount of Irish property to English companies
and landowners, who were compelled to employ agents in the management
of their estates. These agencies were very lucrative; they laid the founda-
tion of many families, such as the Beresfords, which have since been added

to the ranks of the nobility. The father of Jonathan, through the interest ~

of seme one of his family connexions, obtained one of these profitable em-
ployments, and removed to Dublin; but ere he could derive much advan-
tage from the occupation he died, leaving his widow with a very slender pro-
vision,~ ‘he posthumous child, Jonathan Swift, thus deprived of a father’s

er Ley Les



LIFE CF DEAN SWIFT. iil

tenderness and watchful care before his birth, first saw the light in a small
house in Holey’s Court, Dublin, which is still shown by the residents in the
neighbourhood. Towards the end of his life, it is said that Swift observed
the anniversary of his birth as a day of fasting and prayer, never failing to
read the third chapter of the book of Job on each return of that eventful
day. Richard Brennan, his servant, in whose arms he expired, says that
one of the few lucid intervals which he experienced during his long and
fatal malady was a faint consciousness of his birthday, which he showed by
frequently repeating, when it came round,— Let the day perish wherein [
was born, and the night in which it was said, there is a man-child conceived.”
His mother was supported by her brother-in-law, Goodwin Swift, who
undertook the education of his nephew; but while yet an infant a singular
accident for a time removed him from the care of his uncle and mother. His
nurse was a native of Whitehaven; and on the death of a relative, it being
necessary she should visit England to receive a small legacy, she being
fondly attached to the child, stole him away from his mother and took him
with her across the channel. His delicate health and other concurrent cir-
cumstances prevented his being sent back for more than three years. Upon
his return to his mother, it appeared that his nurse had taken extraordinary
care of his education, for though not yet five years old he could read and
spell with tolerable correctness.

He was so docilea child, that at six years of age he could read any chapter
in the Bible. About that age he was sent to Kilkenny School, a collegiate
establishment founded by the Ormond family, and reckoned the best in that
city. A desk is still shown whereon he had carved his name. Here he
remained eight years, and was entered in Trinity College, Dublin, as a pen-
sioner under Sir George Ashe, on the 20th of April, 1682. His cousin,
Thomas Swift, was entered at the same time; and the two Swifts appearing
on the register at the same period, without their Christian names, has caused
some confusion, which, however, has been in a great measure dispelled by
the researches of the late Dr. Barratt, who, with admirable skill and exem-
plary patience, has traced Swift’s academic career, with a view to show that
much of the disgrace said to have been attached to his name was in reality
the result of extraneous circumstances, rather than to any inherent vice in
the lad himself. It seem® that his sense of dependence on the bounty of
his uncle was so constant and acute, as to affect him in his studies and retard
his progress; for, after the usual course of study, he was refused his degree
of Batchelor, of Arts, and only eventually obtained it by “special favour,”
aterm used in Dublin to designate a want of merit. This had the effect
of making him study for eight hours a diy for seven years after, in order to
redeem himself. This, if 1t be true, showed very extraordinary resolution,
but it is hardly probable that any man could rigidly adhere, for so long a
period, and spite of accidents and the temptations of pleasure, to so severe
a discipline. Swift remained three years longer a student in the university,
and formed one of a clique remarkable for their irregularities and breaches
of college discipline. Their thorough contempt of all order brought
them under the censure of the heads of the university, which they resented
py lampoons of more bitterness than wit. For a repeated series of these
offences, Swift and a college chum, of thename of George Finglas, were
abliged to ask pardon on their knees of Dr. Allen, the dean; this degra-
dation was never forgiven or forgotten by Swift, for, more than twenty years



eS

lv LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

afterwards, we find the name of Dr. Allen introduced into a philippie which
Swift addressed to Lord Berkeley during his Ivish administration. It was
while a student at Dublin, that Swift commenced his celebrated ‘“ Tale of a
Tub.” He showed his first sketch to Mr. Waring, a fellow-stndent, a gentle-
man with whose family he at one time intended to form a tender connexion.
He became acquainted. with Miss Waring, and either formed or fancied an |
attachment which circumstances prevented his disclosing at that period.

At the age of twenty-one, he was thrown on his own resources by the
death of his uncle; but another uncle, Dryden William Swift, though he
had not much to bestow, assisted him, the benevolence of his manners en-
hancing the vaiue of his gifts. The son of this kind uncle, Willoughby
Swift, was a Lisbon merchant, and generously contributed to the support of
his cousin. Many years afterwards, the Dean used to relate a curious inci
dent in his college life, of which Willoughby was the hero, with much
warmth of feeling and grateful remembrance. He was one day musing
despondingly in his rooms, his eyes fixe’ on the future, and gloomily con-
trasting it with his present condition—w .n empty purse, scanty library, and
naked board—when his attention was aroused by a noise in the court-yard
below ; on looking out, he saw a foreign-looking sailor making inquiries for
some one, and apparently perplexed at the waggeries of the students, for
which they were famous. It suddenly occurred to Swift that it might be
a messenger from his cousin Willoughby; he hastened down, and soon
found his anticipations correct. The stranger came up with him to his
room, produced a long purse, and presented it as a present from his cousin,
refusing to accept any part of its contents as a reward for his trouble.

From the most reckless extravagance, Swift became almost parsimonious,
when in the possession of’ a little more than he had been accustomed to—a
character he maintained to the end of his life. Upon leaving college, he
was advised by his mother to make known his condition to Sir William
Temple, to whom she was distantly related. He did so, and that gentleman
received him into his house with the greatest kindness.

Temple was a man of literary genius and of great experience in the
world. He had often been sent as ambassador to Holland, and had in
many signal instances proved himself an able diplomatist. It is not likely
that the youth, and consequently crude notions, of Swiftcould be very accept-
able to the private hours of such a man. : He was, therefore, master of a
good deal of his time, which he employed in studying and writing poetry.
He read Cyprian Irenzeus and the works of John Sleidanus, a great lawyer
of the age of the Emperor Charles V. He produced a few Pindaric odes,
but Swift’s mind was wholly destitute of poetic feeling, and it is not wonder-
ful that his attempts in a high and difficult department of the poetic art were
miserable failures. Dryden, on seeing his pieces, told him as much,
“ Cousin Swift,” said he, with more candour than politeness, “ you will never
be a poet.” This honest and well-founded opinion was repaid by a hatred
which never ceased, even when Dryden was in his grave.

As might be supposed, Temple at last began to appreciate the talents ot
his humble guest, as time and good society gave them ease and polish. He
gradually admitted him into familiarity and confidence. King William had
a just sense of Temple’s upright statesmanship, and was accustomed to visit
him at his house, in order to confer with him on the affairs of the country.
Swift was allowed to be present at these conferences; and on one or two



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. Vv

occasions, when the king was disappointed at not seeing Temple, who was
frequently confined to his bed with the gout, he acted as the substitute of
bis patron. The king taught Swift how to cut asparagus in the Dutch way,
and offered him a captaincy of horse, which, however, he refused, as he had
views in the church; and the king afterwards promised him a prebend.
Scon after, Sir William removed to an estate in Surrey, called Moor Park,
where Swift received his initiation into public business. The Earl of Port-
land had been despatched by the king to Moor Park, in order to receive
‘Lemple’s advice as to a bill for triennial parliaments, then pending in the
House of Commons. Neither the earl nor his master, who were both fo-
reigners, were very well acquainted with the English constitution, and they
had been persuaded that the measure was very dangerous. All Temple’s
explanations were of no force; the earl still continued frightened. Swift
was then despatched to the king with a written explanation of the whole
matter. He presented the paper, and supported it with all his knowledge
of English history ; but so little to the king’s satisfaction were the arguments
adduced, that he used all his influence to suppress the bill, and it was accord-
ingly negatived. Swift often said that his ill-success in this piece of business
was the first thing that cured him of vanity. This may be reasonably
doubted by any one who has read his letters to Pope and Gay, or observed
the various allusions to his own importance which occur in his works.

Swift, ashamed of his disappointment of academical honours at Dublin
university, applied at Oxford for a master’s degree. This he obtained
in 1692, and immediately began to press his patron fora settlement. They
disagreed ; and Swift pettishly left Moor Park for Ireland, where he intended
to take orders. After a lapse of some time, having been meanwhile strongly
recommended by Sir William, he obtained the small prebend of Kilroot in
the diocese of Connor, then worth more than ahundred a year. About this
time he appears to have renewed his acquaintance with Miss Waring, whom
he designated by the affected name of Varina. The courtship, as far as it
can be traced, appears to have been supremely ridiculous. While the lady
was cold and reserved, the lover was to the last degree impetuous and full of
passion; and when at iast the poor girl surrendered at discretion, his ardour
as suddenly cooled, and his warm epistles to Varina were changed into
formal letters to Miss Jane Waring, in which all her former objections to the
match were studiously recapitulated, besides hinting in most unmistakeable
terms, that the adoring lover would make but a reluctant bridegroom.
Miss Waring, with a proper degree of spirit, immediately broke off all inter-
course with the faithless Jonathan, and left him free to try his arts on a more
unfortunate victim. ‘The duties of a country clergyman soon became dull,
when he remembered in what splendour he had passed his hours with the
distinguished scholar and statesman, whose house was the resort of such
men as Dryden and Congreve. Besides this, Swift had other reasons for
wishing to leave Kilroot. He is said to have been charged with a liavson
with a farmer’s daughter, who had more beauty than virtue, from the effects
of which he only escaped by handsomely remunerating her friends. A re-
conciliation between Swift and his patron soon took place, and Swift returned
to England. Temple, on this occasion, treated him with great consideration,
and made him his confidential secretary. Swiit must have learned much
valuable political knowledge from the conversations of' a statesman who had
figured in public life sce 1661. In the midst of his business of secre-



vi LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

tary, revising Temple’s works, and finishing his own ‘¢ Tale of a Tub,” he found
leisure to pay attention toa beautiful young lady, Esther Johnston, daughter
of Sir William's steward, better known by the poetic name of Stella. From
this period may be dated all the misery of his future career. The best
account of this unfortunate lady is to be found ina letter to Mr. G. M.
Berkeley, by her niece, Mrs. Hearn, which is published by that gentleman
in his very interesting volume of “ Literary Relics :’’—

“Mrs. Esther Johnston, better known by the name of Stella, was horn at,
Richmond, in Surrey, on the 13th of March, 1681. Her father was a mer-
chant, and the younger brother of a good family in Nottinghamshire. He
died young, and left his widow with three children—a son and two daughters.
Whilst Mrs. Johnston lived at Richmond, she had the happiness of becoming
first acquainted with Lady Gifford, the sister of Sir William Temple. ‘The
uncommon endowments, both of body and mind, which Mrs. Johnston cer-
tainly possessed in a high degree, soon gained her not only the esteem, but
the warm friendship of that excellent lady, a friendship which lasted till
death. As they seldom were apart, and Lady Gifford lived much with her
brother, Sir William, it was through her that Mrs. Johnston and her two
daughters (her son dying young) were brought to the knowledge and friend-
ship of Sir William ‘temple and his lady; who discovering so many excel.
lences and such fine parts in the little Hetty, as she was always called in the
Temple family, so far took upon themselves the care of her education as to
bring her up with their own niece, the late Mrs. Temple, of Moor Park,
by Farnham; a most acceptable piece of kindness and friendship this to the
mother, whose little portion had been greatly injured by the South Sea
Bubbles; and here it was that Dean Swift first became acquainted with
Stella, and commenced that attachment which terminated in their marriage.
The cause why that marriage was not owned to the world has never been
thoroughly explained. It is the opinion, however, of her own family, that
their finances not being equal to the style in which the dean wished to move
as a married man, could be the only one; Stella’s own fortune being only
£1500, £1000 of which, as a further mark of friendship, was left her by
Sir William Temple himself. It was Dean Swift's wish at last to have
owned his marriage; but finding herself declining very fast, Stella did not
choose to alter her mode of life; and besides, she fully intended coming over
to England to her mother.”

It has been asserted by the apologists of Swift that he intended this affair
merely as an innocent flirtation; but unfortunately, the poor girl soon enter-
tained an affection for him, which was extinguished only with her life. It
is plain that Swift never loved her; and it may be questioned whether he
ever felt real love or friendship for any one. He had no idea of love (in its
most exalted sense) or indeed of any other elevating feeling, and his insensi-
bility in this respect has been mentioned as an excuse for his treatment
of Stella. But it is a poor apology, even although it could be readily re«
pelled by the consideration that if his heart was unsympathetic, his judg-
ment, which was clear enough, might have pointed out to him the criminality
of his conduct.

An excellent opportunity for the display of his satirical talent was
opened to him in 1697 by the famous controversy on the respece
tive merits of ancient and modern learning. In 1694, William Wotton, a
precocious young man, published, ‘“ Reflections on Ancient and Modern



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. vil

Yearning.” This book was nothing but a learned reflex of the injudicieus
criticisms of an obscure French writer of the name of Charles Permault,
who decried the ancient authors with but smal] discernment. It was an-
swered by Sir William Temple, who unluckily advanced the merits of the
Epistles of Phalaris. A reply to Temple was published soon after, to which
was appended a “ Dissertation on Phalaris.” The reply was by Wotton,
and the dissertation by the famous Bentley, a man who was undervalued in
his own day, but who now possesses an Huropean eee as one of the
founders of the philosophical philology. He proved the epistles to be spuri-
ous, and Wotton handled Temple’s production with great severity. Swift,
eager to try his own powers, and to defend his patron, wrote ‘The Battle
of the Books.” It was, however, only handed about in MS. and not pub-
lished until after Temple’s death. ‘Temple died in 1699, leaving, besides
a considerable sum of money, his MSS. to the care of Swift, who shortly
afterwards published them with a dedication to king William. But neither
the dedication, nor a petition which he forwarded reminding the king of his
promise of a prebend, received any notice. After dangling some time in
the ante-chamber of St. James’s he retired, highly disgusted with his disap-
pointment. The treatment he experienced was certainly far from that which
he had a right to expect, for he had the promise of the king himself, and was
wellknown tohim. Swift himself said afterwards that he believed the king
never saw the petition; and this is very probable, for he had too much re.
gard for Temple not to have taken notice of Swift. The dean had to thank
the courtiers for the first of those disappointments which soon filled a mind
-aturally harsh with the bitterest misanthropy. ‘Ihe sense of this misfor-
sune had not worn off, when he had to endure another, The earl of Berkeley
was appointed one of the Lords Justices of Ireland, and Swift was invited to
be his chaplain and private secretary. He accordingly attended the earl on
nis journey to Ireland in those capacities. A person named Bushe, however,
contrived to supplant him in the post of secretary, having succeeded, it
seems, in convincing the earl that it was not an office fit for a clergy-
man. In order to soothe Swift’s just resentment, Berkeley promised him
the first good vacancy in the church that was in his gift. The deanery of
Derry shortly falling vacant Swift confidently applied, ‘and he was very
coolly told by Bushe that he must pay down £1000 for it. “ God confound
thee both for a couple of scoundrels !” cried the enraged suitor, and im-
mediately left the castle. The earl, who was afterwards ashamed of his
conduct, or was probably afraid to offend a man of Swift’s satirical talents,
in a short time a a him with two poor livings, Laracor and Bathbeggin,
amounting in all to about £230 per annum. At Laracor he increased his
parochial duties by reading prayers on Wednesdays and Fridays ; as this was
unovelty, few of the parishioners attended ; and on one occasion Roger, the
clerk, formed the entire congregation. Swift, no way dismayed, immediately
commenced the service—* Dearly beloved Roger, the Scripture moveth you
and me in sundry places,” &c., and so went through the complete service.
Notwithstanding this, and other equally irreverent matters noticed by his
biographers, which need not be mentioned here, he generally performed his
duties with much exactness and decorum.
When Swift settled in his livings at Laracor Stella was in England; and
it is probable that time, absence, and new faces would have produced their
usual effects; and that, by an union with a man who was capable of returning



Vill LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

her affection, she might have been reserved for a happier lot than that which
was preparing for her. ‘The invitation which she now received from Swiit
tu come to Ireland, and take up her abode near him, was the crisis of their
unhappy connexion. Had she resolutely refused—but, alas! a woman’s judy-
went is rarely a natch for her love, and she could not forsee her miserable tate.
In the strength of her faith, poor Stella accepted the invitation, and joytully
departed for Ireland. But Swift longed for the bustle of political lite. He
visited England at least once a year, to enter for a short time personally into
the politics of the day, to give to the public a. political pamphlet, and to
gratify himself with the company of the wits of Will’s and Button’s. Of the
many eminent men who frequented these coffee-houses, his acquaintance
with Addison seems to have been the most intimate.

In this manner, alternately enjoying the society of Stella at Laracor and
the scenes of political warfare in London, did Swift pass his life till the year
1718, when he received the deanery of St. Patrick’s as a reward for his
political tergiversation.

It would be very difficult, and not very entertaining, to explain the politi-
cal opinions of Swift, to any one not acquainted with a requisite knowledge
of the great questions which agitated society in his day. They were founded
on the mere ephemeral questions of the time, irrespective of their bearings on
the general principles of human nature. Swift was altogether a party man,
a party writer, and what is more, a party thinker; hence it is, that his
»olitical pamphlets disappoint those who read them with the expectation of
tracing anything of the fame which attended their first publication. Even
to the well-informed in history, it is difficult to appreciate the true bearing
of political opinions long exploded, or which have vanished with the questions
which gave them rise. The age of Anne is not very far distant from our time,
but its spirit is entirely lost in the present day. ‘The lapse of years gradually
evolves new elements of power and opinion, and thus works. both in the
moral and physical worlds, a slow but constant revolution. From his ac-
quaintance with Sir William Temple, Swift had contracted, in common with
almost all the politicians of his time, a great admiration for the reyolution
of 1688. Both the tories and the whigs united in expelling James from the
throne; but the motives of the last were entirely different from those of
the first: the tories were alarmed for the cliurch; the whigs for the civil
institutions of the country. A tory, in the time of William and Mary, was
one who allowed the sovereign an extensive prerogative in all but church
affairs, and hated dissenters: a whig was one who advocated a limited and
strictly defined royal prerogative, and was inclined to favour the dissenters,
Swift was always a tory; but as the church was the touchstone of' his party,
he did not scruple to identify himself with the whigs, while they were in
power, and did not flagrantly invade its privileges. His first political
pamphlet was in favour of the whigs; it was entitled, “ A Discourse on the
Dissensions in Athens and Rome.’ If anything like this were to be pub-
lished now, it would not be noticed ; the very first sentence was nonsense.
The standard of literary merit was not nearly so high then as the vast accn-
mulation of eminent writers has since made it, and so Swift received en-
couragement from the whigs. 3

In 1704 was publisked his ‘‘ Tale of a Tub,” one of the few brilliant |
efforts of his wit. It was printed anonymously, but Swift was immediately
pointed out as the author. Ht raised a great outcry against him, and indeed



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. 1X

very justly, for the language of the satire is often such as could not be used
with propriety by a clergyman; even the oaths of lord Peter, which give
such piquancy to the character, come strangely from such a quarter.

In the former reign Swift had made for himself man y enemies and few
fricnds by his violent opposition to the court party. William III. though

























































ETAT

much admired for his great bravery, never secured the love of his people,
and the secret of Swilt’s dislike to him has been attributed to his endeavours
to coerce the parliament in which the satirist held no place.

_ In 1708, were published “ The Sentiments of a Church of England Man,”
the “ Letter on the Sacramental Test,” and a few smaller pamphlets.
Soon after, he wrote a ‘ Project for the Advancement of Religion,’ and
‘ Argument against Abolishing Christianity.” The last is a legitimate off-
spring of Swift’s wit. It is a piece of cruel irony on the infidels and free-
thinkers of that day. ‘The rest are tiresome productions to a reader of these
times, and now and then a little silly. Asa specimen of the style of his
smaller productions we give a sample from a MS. work which was carried
on by the students of Trinity College, called ‘‘ The Whimsical Medley,”
for which we are indebted to the indefatigable industry of Dr. Barratt,
it being undoubtedly from the pen of Swift.

36



a LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

ON JANUARY 30th.
Janus, you usher in a thing,
Strange and new,—a martyr’d king.
Your altar who would worship more?
Who takes delight in royal gore?
And with a monarch’s sacred head,
Will paint your calendar in red?
Sure you dispatch’d your work in haste,
Before another day was past,
For fear the mischief should be o’er,
Had you but stayed to shut your door.
How well does Janus represent
Fanatics in a government,
Jealous of every prying eye,
Close and conceal’d in peace tley lie,
But when the din of war they hear,
Both quickly open and appear ;
Both seem for peace, both thirst for blood,
Both wear two faces under one hood.

About this time Swift was employed in some important. ecclesiastical
business by archbishop King, primate of Ireland, which gave him an intro-
duction to Harley, one of the leaders of the tory party. He began to be
doubtful of the intentions of the whigs to serve him, and he readily listened
to the overtures of Harley. Accordingly, on his next visit to England, in
the year 1710, he broke eff all connexion with the whigs, who were then
falling ; and when Harley and St, John ultimately triumphed, he completely
identified himself with the tory party. They soon appreciated Swift's
talents for that sort of political writing which is adapted to the greatest
possible number of readers, and secured him by their attentions and_pro-
mises. Swift was delighted. Writing to Stella, he says:—“ Mr. Harley
is so excessively obliging that I know not what to make of it, unless to show
the rascals of the other party that they used a man unworthily who deserved
better. He speaks all the kind things in the world tome.” And again:
‘‘T stand with the new people ten times better than I did with the old, and
forty times more caressing.”

With great hopes he immediately wrote for his new patrons, and re-
ceived the management of a periodical paper, called the “* Examiner,” which
had been originated by St. John, Atterbury, and Prior. Swift's first paper
is in No. 13, and the very first page shows the hireling spirit of its writer.
All Swift’s numbers are written with great spirit, and must have been
well adapted, by their style and affectation of temper, to gain proselytes to
the new administration. Many of the articles may be perused with in-
terest even in the present day. One, on political lying, is a piquant paper
on that fertile subject. His attacks on public men were very serviceable to
his patrons, and those especially on Marlborough and Wharton, are in the
highest degree forcible and relentless.

It may be easily supposed that Swift’s ambition rose with the value which
the ministers set upon his services. Shrewd as he was, his vanity must
have assisted his judgment to estimate this value, for it is plain he thought
that nothing but a bishopric would be equivalent to the servives he hal
rendered. Filled with this sense of his present importance and future
elovation, he affected a foolish equality with Harley and St. John. These



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT, xi

statesman saw his eccentric character, and humoured it for the sake of his
ee But the impudent familiarity with which he often treated them must
iave given them no small dislike to their strange supporter. Probably this
is the reason why Swift never obtained a bishopric. Both Harley and St.
John were men of taste in literature; and no doubt, as such, found
some enjoyment in the society of Swift. But it is not to be supposed that
they were so indiscreet as to admit a mere party writer, like Swilt, to any
confidence in public matters of the slightest delicacy or importance; it is
enough to suppose that they explained to him such ends as he was to forward
with his pen. ‘That it was difficult to impose on Swift’s sagacity may be
readily conceived; but abler men than he have been used by statesmen,
and such were Harley and St. Jolin as far as mere abilities were concerned.
It is one of the most ordinary accomplishments of a courtier to be able to
deceive with a child-like simplicity.

“The conduct of the allies,’ appearcd in 1711, and created a sensation
not to be paralleled in the history of pamphleteering. Four editions were
printed in a week. In this performance Swift: very clearly explained to the
nation the true state of its affairs on the continent ; and advocated peace, on
the attainment of which, indeed, the safety of the ministers depended. This
pamphlet greatly influenced the subsequent divisions in the House of Com-
mons; indeed, the ministerial speechés and resolutions consisted almost
wholly of quotations. from it. On the whole, it is written with clearness in
the details, though the parts are badly put together; and it cannot be ques-
tioned but that Swift’s arguments favoured the true interests of the country.

Next, year he published a “ Proposal for correcting, improving, and as-
certaining the English tongue.’ Dr. Johnson, an excellent authority in
such matters, says, “that it is written without much knowledge of the
general nature of languages, and without any.-accurate inquiry into the
history of other tongues. ‘The certainty and stability, which, contrary to all
experience, he thinks attainable, he proposes’ to secure by instituting an
academy; the decrees of which every man would have been willing, and
many would have been proud, to disobey; and which, being renewed by
successive elections, would, in a short time, have differed from itself.””

After his successful efforts in their favour, Swift began to press the
ministers for preferment. They put him off from time to time with pro-
mises, and magnified the difficulty of obtaining for him any considerable ad-
vancement, on the ground of queen Anne’s prejudice against the author of
the “Tale of a Tub’? They amused him so long with hopes and_protesta-
tions, that he became justly alarmed for his prospects. Speaking of tlie
civilities of Harley, now earl of Oxford, he says, in his “ Journal to Stella,”
—“26th December, 1712. I dined with the lord treasurer, who chid me
for being absent three days. Mighty kind, less of civility and more of in-
terest. * * * My grandfather used to say

‘More of your lining,
And less of your dining.”

It ultimately became obvious to the ministers that they must either preter
Swift or make him their enemy. They were too well acquainted with the
force of his satire as exemplified in his onsets against Marlborough and
Wharton to choose the latter: they therefore conferred upon him the cele-



x1 LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

brated deanery of St. Patrick’s. His appointment was, however, by no means
popular in Ireland, and on the day appointed for his installation the follow-
inv verses, by Dr. Smedley, dean of Ferns, were found posted on the gates
of the cathedral :—

“To day this temple gets a Dean,
Of parts and fame uncommon ;
Used both to pray and to prophane,
‘Yo serve both God and mammon.

“When Wharton reign’d a whig he was;
When Pembroke, that’s dispute sir,
In Oxford’s time what Oxford pleased,
Nen-con., or Jack, or Neuter.

“« This place he got by wit and rhyme,
And many ways most odd;
And might a bishop be in time,
Did he believe in Gad.

“For high-churchmen and policy,
He swears he prays most hearty;
But would pray back again, would be
A Dean of any party.

** Four lessons, Dean! all in one day,
Faith! it is hard, that’s certain ;
*Iwere better hear thy own Peter say
God damn you Jack and Martin.

“Hard to be plagued with Bible still
And Prayer-book before thee ;
Hadst thou not time to think at will,
Of some diverting story.

“ Look down, St. Patrick! look, we pray
On thine own church and steeple;
Convert thy Dean on this great day,
Or else, God help the people !

““ And now whene’er his Deanship dies,
Upon his tomb be graven—
A man of God here buried lies,
Who never thought of heaven.”

In the midst of his political labours in England, and while he was regu-
larly transmitting to Stella the diary of his daily actions, he had cultivated
the acquaintance till he had won the heart of Miss Vanhomrigh, another
beautiful young lady, who was entirely ignorant of his connexion with Stella,
and whose fate was at last rendered as unhappy as hers, becanse the cruel
object of their common passion seemed to be destitute of common honesty
and feeling.

It was, to say the least of it, highly dishononrable in Swift to invite
Stella to Ireland, knowing the state of her feelings towards him, if he did
not intend to marry her. It was still more dishonourable in him to throw
obstacles, wliich he knew would be insurmountable, in the way of her union



TIPE OF DEAN SWIFT. xiii.

with a worthy gentleman to whom her only objection was that it might pre-
vent her from ever being united to the man to whom she had been so long
constant. His attentions to Vanessa, by which poetical name he designated.
the unfortunate Miss Vanhomrigh, show not only how destitute he was of
sympathy with the sensibilities of women, but how careless he was of pre-
serving honourable conduct, for his eyes must have been open to the nature
of his intimacy with the absent Stella. Considered in the light of his con-
duct to these two women, the poem of ‘‘ Cadenus and Vanessa”? is a heart-
less piece of raillery. It was written shortly after Vanessa had, after a
severe struggle, disclosed to him the state of her affections. His intention
in this poem it would be hard to divine, unless it be allowable to conjecture
that he merely wished to flatter her—to leave her unsatisfied yet pleased—
and thus to be an example of a hateful male coquetry,—hateful because of
its destructive effects.

As a further specimen of Swift’s satirical powers we transcribe a poem,
very little known, which made a great sensation on its appearance in
1710 :—

“The famous speech-maker of England, or Baron, (alias Barren,) Lovel’s
Charge at the Assizes at Exon, April 5th 1710.*

RIsuM TENEATIS?

From London to Exon,

By special direction,

Came down the world’s wonder,

Sir Salathiel Blunder,

With a quoif on his head

As heavy as lead;

And thus opened and said :

Gentlemen of the grand inquest.

Her Majesty, mark it,

Appointed this c*rcuit,

For me and my brother,

Before any other ;

To execute laws,

As you may suppose,

Upon such as offenders have been ;

So then, not to scatter,
More words on the matter.
We’re beginning just now to begin.

But hold—first and foremost, I must enter aclause,
As touching and concerning our excellent laws ;

Which, here I aver,

Are better by far
Than them all put together abroad and beyond sea:
For I ne’er read the like nor e’er shall I fancy.

The laws of our land

Don’t abet, but withstand,

Inquisition and thrall,

And whatever may gall,

And fire withal ;

* See the original charge in the Examiner, No. 1. p. 55.—Sir Salathiel Lovel
died May 3, 1717.



Kiv LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

- And sword that devours
Wherever it scowers:
They preserve tiberty and property, for which men pull and haul so,
And they are made for the support of good government also.

Her Majesty, knowing
The best way of going
To work for the weal of the nation,
Builds on that roek, ©
Which all storms will mock,
Since religion is made the foundation.
And, I tell you to boot, she
Resolves resolutely,
No promotion to give
‘T’o the best man alive,
In church or in state,
(I’m an instance of that,)
But only to such of a good reputation
For temper, morality and moderation,
Fire! Fire! a wild-fire,*
® * * * * *
Which greatly disturbs the Queen’s peace,
Lies running about;
And if you don’t put it out,
(That’s positive) will increase
And any may spy,
With half of an eye,
That it comes from our priests and papistical fry
Ye have one of these fellows,
With fiery bellows,
Come hither to blow and to puff here:
Who having been toss’d
From pillow to post,
At last vents his rascally stuff here ;
Which to such as are honest must sound very oddly,
When they ought to preach nothing but what’s very godly ;
As here from this place we charge you to do,
As ye’ll answer to man beside ye know who.
Ye have a diocesan,t
But I don’t know the man;
They tell me, however,
The man’s a good liver,
And fiery never!
Now ye under-pullers,
That wear such black colours,
How well would it look,
If his measures ye took,
‘hus for head and for rump
Together to jump ;
For there’s none deserve places,
I speak’t to their faces,
But men of such graces,
And I hope he will never prefer any asses :
* A line seems to be wanting here.
+ Doctor Offspring Blackall,—he was made Bishop of Exeter in 1707, and
died in 1716. He published a volume of sermons in 8yo., 1707; reprinted
with his other works in 2 vols., folio, 1723.



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT xY

ispecially when I’m so confident on’t,
For reasons of state, that her majesty won’t,
Know I myself I
Was present and by,
At the great trial, where there was a great company,
Of a turbulent preacher, who cursedly hot,
Turn’d the fifth of November, even the gunpowder-plot,
Into impudent railing and the devil knows what,
Exclaiming like fury—it was at Paul’s, London,
How church was in danger and like to be undone,
And so gave the lie to gracious Queen Anne;
And, which is far worse to our parliament-men :
And then printed a book,
Into which men did look :
‘True, he made a good text;
But what followed next
Was nought but a dung-hill of sordid abuses,
Instead of sound doctrine, with proofs to’t, and uses.
It was high time of day
That such inflama-
tion should be extinguished without more delay :
But there was no engine could possibly do’t,
Till the commons played theirs, and so quite put it out.
So the man was tried for’t
Before highest court :
Now its plain to be seen,
It’s his principles I mean,
Where they suffer’d this noisy and his lawyers to bellow.
Which over, the blade
A poor punishment bad
For that racket he made.
By which ye may know
They thought as I do,
That he is but at best an inconsiderable fellow.
Upon this I find here,
And every where,
That the country rides rusty, and is x" out of geer.
And for what?
May I not
In opinion vary,
And think the contrary,
But it must create
Unfriendly debate,
And disunion straight ;
When no reason in nature
Can be given of the matter,
Any more than for shapes or for different stature ?
If you love your dear selves, your religion, or queen,
Ye ought in good manners be peaceable men:
For nothing disgusts her
Like making a bluster ;
And your making this riot,
Is what she could cry at,
Since all her concern’s for our welfare and quiet.
I would ask any man
Of them all that maintain



xv) LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

Their passive obedience
With such mighty vehemence,
That damn’d doctrine, I trow!
What he means by it, ho?
Jo trump it up now?
Or to tell me, in short,
What need there is for’t?
Ye may say, I am hot;
I say I am not;
Only warm as the subject on which I am got.
There are those alive yet,
If they do not forget,
May remember what mischief it did church and state;
Or at least must have heard
The deplorable calamities
It drew upon families,
About sixty years ago, and upward.!
And now do ye see,
Whoever they be,
That make such an oration
In our Protestant nation,
As though church was all on a fire,—
With whatever cloak ,
They may cover their talk,
And wheedle the folk,
That the oaths they have took,
As our governors strictly require ;—
I say they are men— (ani I’m a judge, ye all know,)
‘That would our most excellent laws overthrow :
For the greater part of them to church never go;
Or, what’s much the same, it by very great chance is,
If e’er they partake of her wise ordinances.
Their aim is, no doubt,
Where they made to speak out,
To pluck down the queen, that they make all this rout;
And to set up, moreover,
A bastardly brother ;
Or at least to prevent the house of Hanover.
Ye gentlemen of the jury,
What means all this fury,
Of which I’m informed by
Good hands, I assure ye;
This insulting of persons by blows and rude speeches,
And breaking of windows, which you know, maketh breaches.
Ye ought to resent it,
And in duty present if,
For the law is against it;
Not only the actors engaged in this job,
But those that encourage and set on the mob:
The mob, a paw word, and which I ne’er mention,
But must in this place, for the sake of distinction,
I hear that some bailiffs and some justices,
Have strove what they could, all this rage to suppress :
And [ hope many more
Will exert the like power,
Since none will, depend on’t,
Get a jot of preferment,



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT, Xvii

Rut men of this kidney, as I told you before.—
V’ll tell you a story: Once upon a time
Some hot headed fellows must needs take a whim,
And so were so weak,
(Twas a mighty mistake)
To pull down and abuse
Bawdy-houses and stews ;
Who, tried by the laws of the realm for high-treason,
Were hang’d, drawn, and quarter’d, for that very reason.
When the time came about
For us all to set out,
We went to take leave of the queen;
Where were great men of worth,
Great heads, and so forth,
The greatest that ever were seen:
And she gave us a large
And particular charge ;
Good part on’t indeed
Is quite out of my head ;—
But I remember she said,
We should recommend peace and good neighbourhood, where-
Soever we came; and so I do here:
For that every one, not only men and their wives,
Should do all that they can to lead peaceable lives ;
And told us withal, that she fully expected
A special account how ye all stood affected,
When we’ve been at St James’s, you'll hear of the matter.
Again then I charge ye,
Ye men of the clergy,
That ye follow the track all
Of your own Bishop Blackall,
And preach, as ye should,
What’s savoury and good;
And together all cling,
As it were in a string
Not falling out, quarrelling one with another,
Now we’re treating with monsieur,—that son of his mother.

Then proceeded on the common matters of the law ; and concluded :—

Onée more, and no more, since few words are best,
I charge you all present, by way of request,
If ye honour, as I do, ie
Our dear royal widow,
Or have any. compassion
For church or the nation;
And would live a long while
In continual smile,
And eat roast and boil,
And not be forgotten,
When ye are dead and rotten;
That ye would be quiet at peaven bly dell,
And never fall out,

Swift arrived at his deanery in 17138, a miserable man—not with remorse
at having sown the seeds of unhappiness in the hearts of two excellent and
beautiful women, but at not having obtained a bishopric. He writes w

37



S

XV1ll LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

Vanessa, “ At my nrst coming I thought I should have died of discontent,
and was horribly melancholy while they were installing ine, but it begins to
wear off and change to dulness.” In about a fortnight he returned to Eng-
land, for the purpose of endeavouring to keep the ministry together, which
was every day expected to fall in pieces in consequence of the quarrels of
Oxtord and his rival Lord Bolingbroke, formerly St. e These two
statesmen wére peculiarly opposite to each other, both in the nature of their
capacities and dispositions : Oxford was slow, sure and penetrating; Boling-
broke was rapid, sanguine, and adventurous—alternately enjoying signal
triumphs and suffering signal misfortunes. Oxford was cold and reserved ;
Bolingbroke was gay and easy of access. The abilities of Oxford were
adapted both to business and literature, but his versatility was inferior to
that of Bolingbroke, the brilliancy of whose talents was display, not only in
the dexterous management of men, and in fertility of literary thought, but
in a copious and seductive eloquence, and in a philosophy that was more than
superficial. Estimates of abilities are ever influenced by a tacit reference to the
elevation of the sphere in which they shine; but tried by the highest stan-
dard of the statesmanship of their own age, these men will be found pre-emi-
nent. Characters such as these, when contending for superiority, could not
but shatter any ministry; and the efforts of Swift. were, of course, altogether
unavailing. Soon afterwards Oxford was suddenly dismissed: but just as
Bolingbroke had secured the consequences of his triumph, the death of the
queen dissolved his administration, and scattered the leaders of the tory
party. The results of the return of the whigs to power are well known.
‘The whole tory party was laid under ban. Oxford was sent to the Tower,
and Bolingbroke became an exile in France. The ruin of his friends was
the death-blow to Swift’s political life in England. He had published
‘The Public Spirit of the Whigs,” which had the effect of exasperating that
party to such a degree, that they exerted their influence to bring the author
to punishment. ‘They were very nearly successful ; but Swift succeeded,
somehow, in saving himself, not feeling inclined, probably, to relish that spe-
cies of flattery to his talents. When the whigs succeeded to the administra-
tion of the government, Swift was exposed to so many insults from the

dominant party that he retired (if he did not actually flee, as is asserted

in Smollett’s History of England) to his deanery in Dublin.

Vanessa soon followed him, and Stella grew jealous. The health of the
latter had declined in consequence of her keen sense of his neglect, and she
frequently insisted on marriage the only atonement he could make to her
wasted youth and fallen reputation. Swift was at last prevailed on to con-
sent, but only to the outward forms. His intercourse with her continued to
be precisely the same as before. For some years he contrived to conceal his
marriage from the unhappy Vanessa, who refused offer after offer for his
sake; but at last she discovered the truth and died of a broken heart, re-
versing a will she had made in his favour, and leaving a second in which she
enjoined her executor, Bishop Berkeley, to publish the poem of ‘*Cadenus
and Vanessa, in which the dean had avowed his passion for her, together
with his letters to her, all of which breathed the most ardent affection.
The bishop, who was one of Swift’s most familiar friends, reluctantly pub-
lished the poem but, for obvious reasons, withheld the letters. The effect
produced on both Swift and Stella on the appearance of the poem was the
eeverest trial they had ever experienced, proving the pregnant source of



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xIX

many heart-burnings and much bitterness of feeling. Swift went on a tour
through the south of Ireland, and Stella to the house of a friend till the
scandal had in some some degree died away; but all confidence from that
time between them (and on her part justly, too,) was broken never to be
renewed ; and though she apparently regained her usual equanimity, the idol
of her heart had fallen down never to be set up again.

It was the year 1723, the year of Vanessa’s death, that gave to the world
the most splendid example of Swift’s talent in moving the passions of the
people. About that time a patent was granted to William Wood, a manu-
facturer of Wolverhampton, for coining halfpence and farthings to the extent
ot £100,000. The duchess of Kendal, said to have been married to George L.,
had received the patent from Sunderland the prime minister, and disposed
of it to Wood, who immediately issued the money. ‘The Irish people, how-
ever, complained that their country was treated as a dependent kingdom by
the patent being granted to an Englishman, and the coining being carried on
in Enzland. ‘The patent was kept a sort of secret by the ministers, whose
indiscretion in this respect caused the most injurious and groundless reports
to be circulated and believed, which might have been at once removed by the
simple publication of the facts. Swift appeared, in order to increase the
ferment, by a series of letters and ballads, all of which were signed M. B.
Drapier ; and in these he did not fail to avail himself’ of all the latitude of
sarcastic conjecture. In this, indeed, he had room enough, for the patent
had been passed without the knowledge of the lord-lieutenant or privy-
council of Ireland: it was no wonder the people of Irciand grew jealous.



Walpole began to be alarmed, and drew up a conciliatory paper, which was
extensively circulated, but it made no impression. This minister, who was
then at the head of the treasury, wisely determined to act with moderation.



xX LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

The duke of Grafton had not shown much talent or desire for conciliation,
and was therefore recalled. Lord Carteret was appointed to succeed him,
but even his superior address failed to allay the passions ot the populace,
Besides the influence of Swift, he had the opposition of Middleton, lord
chancellor of Ireland, and the patent was finally surrendered.

“ Gulliver’s Travels” appeared in 1727. This work created a great sen-
sation but the satire was allowed by every one to be merely general, “ The
politicians to a man agree,” writes Gay to Swift, “ That it is free from par -
ticular reflections, but that it is a satire on general society and is too severe.”
Pope also writes to him in the same manner. “ I find no considerable
man,” says he, ‘‘ very angry with the book ; some, indeed, say that. it is too
bold, but none that I hear of, accuse it of particular reflections.” With the
exception of two or there allusions to Sir Robert Walpole, who is particular-
ised as Flimnap, the treasurer, in the voyage to Lilliput, this is precisely
the character of Swift’s performance. The “Travels” were not published till
after Swift’s return to Ireland. There was a considerable deal of mystery
affected with regard to the authorship, which was at once pronounced
to be Swiit’s. Pope, Gay, Arbuthnot, and other of his friends, so far
favoured this affectation of secrecy, of which the dean was particularly fond,
as to write in apparent doubt as to the author, though the two first must
have known that the work was projected months before. As before ob-
served, so great was the sensation created by the Drapier’s letters, that the
‘‘ ‘Travels ” were exposed to an unusual degree of notoriety ; so much so in-
deed, that Swift purposely remained in his deanery till the rage of Walpole,
who was chiefly reflected on, was appeased.

There has been traced a strong likeness between the characters of Gul-
liver and Robinson Crusoe; and no doubt the popularity of Defoe’s here

Mee
FAN
y
had the effect of creating more than an accidental resemblance between the
two. Dunlop, in his “ History of Fiction,” boldly asserts that the dean

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LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT, xxi

derived his idea of the character and his plan of carrying out the story
from Defoe. But there is an essential difference between Gulliver and
Crusoe, inasmuch as the former is designed as a satire on the abuses of
human learning and civilization, and a caricature upon the exaggerations
of travellers, while the latter bears throughout the impress.of truth, and
is forcible from its very simplicity.

In the Voyage to Lilliput, it is designed to expose the policy of the court
during the reign of the first George ; and the differences between the court
and the popular party is ably described in the intrigues of the Big-endians
and the Little-endians. The prince of Wales, afterwards George II., is
supposed to have been unwilling to permit an union of parties, and is cha-
racterised as the prince apparent of Lilliput, wearing one high-heeled and
one low-heeled shoe.

In spite of the malevolence of the whigs the “ Travels” gave great sa-
tisfaction to the tories, and their extreme popularity gave evidence how
much the people relished the abuse of their former favourites. In the
voyage to Brobdingnag the author takes a more extended scope; the attack
being made, not upon the tactics of a party, but upon the general system
ot policy pursued by the ministers of Europe. Swift, like Bolingbroke,
attempts to sketch the character of a patriot king and a popular govern-
ment. The opinions formed by these beings, possessed of immense physical
and moral strength, of European policy and the scandals of a court, are
developed with great ability, and possess a power of satire quite unequalled
by any similar production. It is man viewing the mimic squabbles of an
ant-hill, or Gulliver himself contemplating the court of Lilliput.

The contrast between the position of the same man, at one time a giant
and at another less than the smallest dwarf, is very happily conceived and
admirably carried out, and lends singular force to the satire. he attack
upon the maids of honour in the voyage to Brobdingnag appears to us
savage and unmanly, and is the only special allusion in this part of the
“Travels.” Swift, however, bore no great love to the ladies of Queen
Anne’s court, to whom he believed he owed his failure in not obtaining
a bishopric,

‘he voyage to Laputa would, had it been the first published, have pro-
bably proved a failure, The satire was not, at the time of its publication,
the least understood by the mass of the people. It was intended to ridi-
cule the Royal Society, then but lately established, and which had been
previously satirised by Butler. In the pursuits of the inhabitants of the
Flying Island, an attack is made on Sir Isaac Newton, who had given
his opinion, as master of the Mint, on the genuineness of Wood’s copper
coinage ; and his habitual absence of mind probably suggested to Switt the
whimsical idea of the Flappers, who constantly attended the Laputian phi-
losophers, and administered a blow on the ear with their bladders whenever
they found their master’s attention wandering or absorbed. ‘he satire
contained in his description of the College of Projectors is particular!
happy, and was greatly relished ; as, during the rage for speculation which
rose with the South-Sea scheme, proposals fully as absurd as those mentioned
by Swift were every day being: published and found greedy and impatient
followers among the idle, the speculative, or the vicious. ‘The raising of ghosts
at Glubbdubdrib were then, and are now, considered decided failures. Not
80, however, the melancholy description of the Struldbrugs, in which Swift



XXil LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

appears to have foreseen his melancholy end, and to have felt, as he did
when ne exclaimed to Young, on seeing a withered tree—‘“ I am like that
oak, I shall decay at top.”

‘he voyage to the Houyhnhnms was the most unpopular, and deservedly
remains so. It is disgusting and repulsive from the misanthropy and filthy
language which pervades it; and is, in the present day, seldom read, and
never defended. Sir Walter Scott indeed, has attempted to excuse Switt
on account of the low condition of the poor Irish at that time, leading as they
were a mere animal existence, horrible to contemplate. A letter addressed
by Swift to the Reverend John Brandreth, dean of Emby, in the county
of ‘Tipperary, gives a tolerably good idea of the state of the pea-
santry and surrounding country at that time. We are indebted to a
book, very little known at the present day, entitled ‘‘ Letters of His
Excellency Hugh Boulton, DD., Lord Primate of Ireland,” for this
communication :

“ Sir,

If you are not an excellent philosopher, I allow you personate
one perfectly well; and if you believe yourself, I heartily envy you: for I
never yet saw in Ireland a spot of earth two feet wide, that had not in it
something to displease. I think I once was in your county, Tipperary,
which is like the rest of the kingdom,—a bare face of nature, without
houses or plantations :—filthy cabins, miserable, * tattered, half starved,
creatures, scarce in human shape; one insolent, ignorant, oppressive ’squire
to be found in twenty miles’ riding ;—a parish church to be found only in a
summer-day’s journey, in comparison of which an English farmer’s barn is
a cathedral; a bog of fifteen miles round ;—every meadow a slough, and
every hill a mixture of rock, heath, and marsh ;—and every male and
female, from the farmer inclusive to the day-labourer, infallibly a beggar, and
consequently a thief, which in this island are terms convertible. The
Shannon is rather a lake than a river, and has not the sixth part of the
stream that runs under London Bridge. There is not an acre of land in
Ireland turned to half its advantage, yet it is better improved than the
people: and all these evils are effects of English tyranny; so your sons and
erandchildren will find to their sorrow. Cork indeed, was a place of trade ;
but for some years past is gone to decay; and the wretched merchants,
instead of being dealers, are dwindled into pedlars and cheats. I desire
you will not write such accounts to your friends in England. Did you ever
see one cheerful countenance among our country vulgar unless once a year at
a fair or on a holiday, when some poor rogue happened to get drunk and
starved the whole weck after.—You will give a very different account of
your winter campaign, when you can’t walk five yards from your door
without being mired to your knees, nor ride half a mile without being in
slough to your saddle skirts; when your landlord must send twenty miles
tor yeast, before he can brew or bake; and the neighbours for six miles
round must club to kill a mutton.—Pray:take care of damps, and when
you leave your bedchamber, let a fire be made, to last till night ; and after
all, if a stocking happen to fall off a chair, you may wring it next morning,
I nunc et tecum versus meditare canoros. I have not said all this out of any
malicious intention, to put vou out of conceit with the scene where you are,
but merely for your credit; because it is better to know you are miserable,
than to betray an ill taste. I consult your honour, which is dearer than life,



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xxiii

therefore, I demand that you shall not relish one bit of victuals, one drop
of drink, or the company of any human creature, within thirty miles of
Knoctoher, during your residence in those parts; and then I shall begin to
have a tolerable opinion of your understanding. My lameness is oot
slowly recovering; and if it be well when that the year is out, I shall
gladly compound; yet I make a shift to ride about ten miles a day by
virtue of certain implements called gambadoes, where my feet stand firm
as on a floor; and I generally dine alone, like aking or an hermit, and con-
tinue alone, until I go to bed; for even my wine will not purchase com-
pany, and I begin to think the lame are forsaken as much as the poor and
the blind. Mr. Jebb never calls at the deanery of late: perhaps he hath
found out that I like him as a modest man, and of very good understanding.
This town is neither large nor full enough to furnish events for entertaining
a country correspondent. Murder now and then is all we have to trust to.
Our fruit is all destroyed with the long spring and eastern winds; and I
shall not have the tenth part of my last year’s fruit. Miss Hoadley hath
been nine days in the small pox, which I never heard of till this minute ;
but they say she is past danger. She would have been a terrible loss
to the archbishop. Dr. Felton, of Oxford, hath writ an octavo about
Revelation ; I know not his character. He sent over four copies, to me,
one of which was for Mr. Tickle, two for the bishops of Cork und
Waterford, and one to myself, by way of payment for sendixig the
rest, I suppose, for he sent me no letter. I know him new :— When.
ever you are in town I hope you will mend your usage of me, by
coming often to a philosophical dinner at the deanery ; , this I pretend
to expect for the sake of our common princess, Lady E. Germaine, to whom
I've (qy. I owe) the happiness of your acquaintance: and dn her account I
expect your justice to believe me to be with truest esteem, \
Your most obedient humble \servant,
(Dublin,) 30th June, 17382. Js SWIFT.

To return, however to the motives which actuated the dean to draw so
dark a picture of human nature. Extraneous causes had, no doubt, great
influence on his mind, and tended to make him look on the gloomy side of
life. Vanessa, disappointed and heart-broken, had sunk into an_ early
grave, and Stella did not long survive her wretched rival ; and, besides
tasting the bitter fruits of his own heartless and selfish passions, his ambi-
tion was blighted, and the seeds of the most afflicting malady were at this
time most surely sown. Misanthropical, discontented, gloomy and disap-
pointed, it is no wonder, surrounded as he was by poverty and the worst
specimens of humanity that his description of the Yahoos should be drawn
with so dark a pencil as to be revolting from its very truthfulness; and in
painting the picture of unregenerate and savage man, he should have revelled
in the contemplation of so disgusting a portraiture. But, horrible as it is, it is
not without its use: it teaches us what humanity would become if left en-
tirely to the brutalizing influence of ignorance and the passions, and deprived.
of the light of intelligence and religion.

The dean, like a large class not peculiar to his day, sought in the indul-
gence of misanthropical sentiments, a relief from the weary monotony of
an ill-spent life and a sweet revenge for disappointed ambition. The old
duchess of Marlborough, his bitter enemy, who had long outlived her power



XXIV LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

though not her love for it, declared that Swift was a most admirable portrait-
painter, and expressed her delight at the description of the miserable Yahoos,
who were, she said, truly the men of the world.

The Travels became immensely popular with all classes of politicians ; se
much so indeed, that Voltaire, who was then in England, warmly recom-
mended it to the perusal of his friends, and advised its translation into the
French. The task was undertaken by the Abbe Desfontaines, who, hows
ever, refrained from giving a literal version of Swift’s peculiar notions, which
were too bold for his countrymen. ‘The abbe published a continuation ot
Gulliver’s Travels, which never reached asecond edition, and was soon con-
signed to merited oblivion.

‘The year in which the Travels appeared was a wretched one to Swift,
for in it died Stella, and with her ail of happiness in the world. After this
melancholy event he appeared to lose all sense of even such pleasure as he
was capable of feeling, and adopted, in the bitterness of disappointment and
the solitude of misanthrophy, the motto of ‘“ Vive la bagatelle.”

During the following years he published a few pamphlets among which
are the ‘“* Directions to servants,” the ‘‘ Sacramental test,’’ ‘‘ Polite conversa-
vons,” and some others. The two first display the talent he possessed for
minute observation, which was particularly observable in Gulliver’s Travels.
Throughout his whole life he had been in the habit of throwing his trifling
thoughts into rhyme: of his various pieces the best are ‘ Cadenus and
Vanessa,”’ and the ‘‘ Rhapsody on Poetry.” He madea fierce attack on the
Trish Parliament in a production entitled the ‘“ Legion Club ;’’ it is forcible
and pointed, as .are all his attacks whether in verse or prose, and displays
the foxes of disappointed ambition. About this time he published some
verses on his owm death, which reflect the strange eccentricity and misan-
thropy of their author. 7

The last years of Swift were visited by alternate fits of moody idleness
and gloomy inisanity. In 1741, his mental condition was such, that it be-
came absolutely necessary that Jegal guardians should be appointed to look
after his persion and property. While finishing the “ Legion Club,” he was
sivzed with fiits of giddiness, and so severe and continuous were they, that
upon its comipletion he never again ventured upon any work of thought and
labour. The/ next year he had a few short intervals of reason, but the hopes
of his even‘sual recovery were soon alas! dispelled, never again to be enter-
tained. Soon after, he sunk into a state of stupid lethargy, remaining for
hours together in a motionless, listless, stupid, condition. His faithful servant,
Richard. Brennan, who attended him in his last illness, and supported him
in his arms when he expired, relates that to the last he was sutticiently sen-
sible to repeat parts of the Lord’s prayer, and that his lips moved with sup-
plicecion even after the power of utterance was gone for ever. His death,
which took place on the evening of the 19th of October, 1745 was character-
ized by peace and tranquillity. ‘‘ He went off,” says Brennan, ‘like the
snuff of a candle.” He bequeathed his whole property to a hospital for
lunatics ; in his own words

“ He gave the little wealth he had,
To build a house for fools and mad ;
To show, by one satiric touch,

No nation wanted it so much.



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. Xx?

There are, says Mr. G. M. Berkeley, only four authentic portraits of
Swift, of which the one preserved by his family as a heirloom in the
deanery of St. Patrick’s is the most authentic. A copy of it adorns the
dining hall of Trinity College, Dublin, and represents a countenance
“ strongly marked with grief, indignation, and beneficence.”

WM

y Wy Wis
Y

My,

he
Sf, ify



This great wit, but unfortunate man, was in person tall, robust, and well
made; his complexion was rather dark; his eyes were blue, and very ex-
pressive ; his eyebrows dark and heavy ; his nose inclining to aquiline; and
his lips slightly curled upwards. In his youth he was considered handsome,
and in the decline of life his figure is universally described as noble and
imposing. He was a very fluent speaker, ready at retort, and never
thrown off his guard by the unexpected attack of his assailant. This
talent would have rendered him formidable, had he been presented with a
seat in the house of lords, which was t that time sadly deficient of elo-
quent debaters, and, with the single exception of Atterbury, scarcely pos-
sessed an able speaker. His tongue was dreaded no less than his pen, and
all parties sought to disarm his hostility by the grossest flattery, to which,
despite his genius, the dean was atall times particularly open. His conver-
sational powers were of the highest order, the originality of his humour render-
ing him a welcome guest at the tables of the great, to wuich he was a frequent

8



RXV1 LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

visitor. Efe delighted in relating anecdotes, of which he possessed a great store,
and could invest the commonest chit-chat of the table with an indescribable
charm. He was very fond of puns, and was the author of some of the best
that exist. It is a pity that so few have been preserved; they would be read
with the greatest relish in the present day, presenting, as they did, not
merely verbal wit, but astore of learning and talent, the most extensive
and unique, if not the most delicate and refined. He indulged in the
greatest singularity of speech, which was manifested on all, and some
extraordinary occasions. In introducing Bishop Berkeley to Lord Berkeley
of Stratton, he said:—‘* My lord, I present to your lordship’s notice a
relation of your own; he is good for something, and that, as times go, is
saying a great deal.” One day, when travelling in the southern part of
Ireland, he stopped to water his horse at a brook; a gentleman of the
neighbourhood also halted for the same purpose, and saluted the dean:
Swift, with his usual politeness, returned the courtesy, and went his way.
The gentleman, anxious to know who he was, sent his servant after him to
inquire. On overtaking the dean, the servant, with more than Irish simplicity,
said :——“ Sir, my master wishes to know who you are.”—*“ Tell your
master,’ answered Swift, “that I am the man who returned his salute at the
brook.”

He had an extraordinary talent for extemporaneous rhyming. An
innkeeper who wished to add the king’s head to his sign, which was that of
the Bell, inquired of the dean, who was stopping at his house, what he
should say to reconcile the anomaly. ‘‘ Say,” said Swift—

“Ding dong, ding dong,
May the king live long :
Ding dong, ding dong.”

He became so popular about the time of the publication of the celebrated
“ Drapier’s Letters,’ that whenever he appeared in the streets he was fol-
lowed by a great crowd, who saluted him with cheers and congratulations.
He used to say they ought to provide him with hats, as he bowed his
acknowledgments oftener than the prince himself. There has been much
said of his interchange of jests with the shoe-blacks and beggars of Dublin,
but, as it happens with every celebrated wit, much is attributed to him of
which he had not the slightest knowledge. Some of his lampoons and
epigrams display the most caustic wit. Bettesworth, the serjeant-at-law,
had provoked Swift’s anger by his attack on the privileges of the clergy,
and thus he repays him:

* Thus at the bar the booby Bettesworth,
‘Though half-a-crown o’erpays his sweat’sworth,
Who knows in law, nor text, nor margent,
Calls Singleton his brother serjeant,”

For the anecdote which accompanies this epigram we are indebted to the
learned Dr. Barrett. When the poem, of which the epigram forms a part,
was first published, it was brought wet from the press into a company in
which Bettesworth was present. The serjeant was requested to read it
aloud to the assembly : he complied; but when he came to that part which
reflected on himself he stormed and raved, and declared he would take



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xXvia

deadly vengeance on the author. Immediately proceeding to the deanery,
he made his way into the presence of Swift, and looking daggers, exclaimed

“ Sir, I am serjeant Bettesworth.”

The dean with the most unconcerned face asked,

“ Of what regiment, pray?”

Bettesworth, still more enraged, demanded—“ Are you the author of this
paper ?”

The dean, with great coolness replied,

“ Mr. Bettesworth, when I was a youth I was acquainted with a great
lawyer, who advised me, knowing my satirical disposition, if any scoundrel
or blockhead whom I had lampooned asked me such a question as you have
put, to deny the authorship; and I therefore tell you, that I am not the
author of those lines.” ff

Bettesworth looked thundérs, blustered and swore, but got no further
satisfaction. At length he departed, saying,—‘‘ Mr. Dean, you are like one
of your own Yahoos; you have elambered to a place of security, whence you
can gratify your malice by discharging your filth on your betters.”

As Bettesworth continued to threaten, the inhabitants of St. Patrick’s
district formed themselves into a defensive ‘association to protect their
favourite dean from personal violence, and the unfortunate lawyer could
scarcely appear in the streets without being hooted and laughed at. Bettes-
worth subsequently declared in parliament that Swift’s satire had deprived
him of more than twelve hundred pounds a year. Swift’s last composition,
and almost his last symptom of rationality, was an epigram. During one of
his brief lucid intervals he was taken out by his physician for a drive: as
they passed through the park, Swift observed a building he had never seen
before, and asked what it was. Being told it was a magazine of powder for
the defence of the city—‘* O ho!” he exclaimed, ‘my tablets, my tablets!
let me put that down ;” and taking out his pocket-book, wrote these lines—
the last he ever penned.

“ Behold a proof of Irish sense!
Here Irish wit is seen ;
Where nothing’s left that’s worth defence
We build a magazine.”

Abstractedly speaking, the office of the critic is superior to that of the
author. ‘The critic is possessed of knowledge, not minute, but extensive,
for he studiously remarks only the essential points of a subject. The
author’s knowledge is minute and profound, but it lies in only one direction.
It is the office of the critic to popularize the investigations, to correct the
errors, and to illustrate the truths of those whose genius has called them to
a life of laborious study in one branch of knowledge. ‘The critic indicates
the chasms of science ; the author fills them up. In everything the critic
is the director of the author. This is the origin of the tone of superiority
assumea by critics over authors, and which some sensible men have pro-
tested against; but a little consideration will show that it cannot be avoided:
indeed, the very function of the critic presupposes it. But for one who
properly understands his vocation as a true critic, there are perhaps fifty in-
judicious pretenders, whose heedless strictures, or false praises, are apt to
give rise to opinions derogatory to the office of the critic, however just of
him who usurps it. These remarks will be readily understood in this place.



xEVIN LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

“ Gulliver’s Travels” and the “ Tale of a Tub” are the two brilliant per-
formances which will place Swift in the ranks of England’s literati. They
exhibit the quality of his wit, and from them will posterity estimate his
talents. The peculiar industry and correctness of Swift has not hitherto
been noticed in relation to the manner in which he has given an air of
reality to the most opposite ideas. For instance, when speaking of the
relative proportions of his giants or his dwarfs, can anything exceed the ex-



yetness with which he has drawn their several gigantic or minute charac-
teristics? In this particular he has shown talent the most original and
remarkable.

No one ever exceeded Swift in the bitterness of his satire. His wit
is his hatred distilled, and thus gives deadly force to his attacks. If
Congreve could have hated his political opponents as heartily, perhaps
his wit would have carried a similar venom. But what degrades
Swift’s style below most of the writers of his day, infinitely below even
Farquhar and Ben Jonson, is the filthy language of which he makes use,



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. XXIX

The character of his intellect may be inferred from a consideration of his
works. It was clear, steady, and apathetic; never glowing, tender, or
elevated. His conceptions were all cold-blooded, often curdled with a cynical
misanthropy, and two frequently vulgar and filthy. Cowper and Sheridan
draw their dazzling rapiers and fight their battles of wit like gentlemen ;
the antagonists of Swift find themselves knocked down with a dirty kitchen
besom, by which they are immediately besmeared with a compound of vitriol
and filth.

“ Gulliver’s Travels” are a condensation of all Swift’s misanthropy. This
performance is the bitterest satire on human nature that ever was conceived.
Swift had only seen the dark side of the world; his life had been a series
of disappointments; and thus, to use his own words—“ he heartily hated
and detested the animal called man, though he heartily loved John, Peter,
Thomas, and so forth.’ There were times, however, when he relented
a little; and once, to Pope, he said—‘ If there were but half a dozen
Arbuthnots in the world, 1 would burn my travels.” He appears to have felt
sensible sorrow in his latter days for much that he had written, as is
evidenced in a letter to the Rev. Dr. Henry Jenny, rector of Armagh, whom
he is supposed to have satirized in a poem entitled “ Hamilton’s Bawn.”

The satire in “ Gulliver’s Travels” is thoroughly just; “but it stands on
too narrow a basis to give more than a transient amusement to any one
possessed of enlarged ideas of the world. There is much that is good and
noble in human nature as well as much that is vicious. To be worthy the
contemplation of a philosopher, the colouring of a great picture of human
existence should be as various as that of the original. And sucha picture
could not fail of being a generous and beneficial satire. It is the common
source of regret that every one applies general satire to all but himself; but
this is much more the fault of the satirist than of the reader. If the picture
is all dark and loathsome, it never strikes a man that it can represent him-
sclf; a more faithful delineation would have brought home the likeness, and
he would have been ashanied of the spots on the general goodness of his
nature. No man, or class of men, was ever reformed by being represented
as a mass of bad qualities: on the contrary, the injudicious satirist rouses
against himself hatred, contempt, and all other bad passions ; but man is
eager to correct his faults when he is told of them as detracting from his
general excellence; and the motives which are thus awakened are generous
and healthy, and likely to give an elevated tone to the character. ‘The fol-
lowing extract from the “ Travels” is an excellent piece of satire on pro-
jectors and scientific discoverers, and is introduced in this place for the pur-
pose of giving the reader a few remarks of the celebrated metaphysician,
Dr. Brown, who appears to consider that Swift did not push his satire so far
as he might fairly have done; an imputation the dean is not generally open
to, his failures in that respect being by no means numerous.

“There was a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and
this was urged as a great advantage in point of health as well as brevity.
For it is plain that every word we speak is in some degree a diminution of
our lungs by corrosion; and consequently contributes to the shortening of
our lives. An expedient was therefore offered, that, since words are only
names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about
them such things as were necessary to express a particular business they are
to discourse on: and this invention would certainly have taken place, to the



2XL LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

great ease as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with
the vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they
might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues after the manner
of their forefathers; such constant irreconcileable enemies to science are the
common people. However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to
the new scheme of expressing themselves by things, which has only this
inconvenience attending it, that, if a man’s business be very great, and of
various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a greater bundle
of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two strong servants to
attend him. I have often beheld two of these sages almost sinking under
the weight of their packs like pedlars among us; who, when they met in
the streets, would lay down their loads, open their packs, and hold conver-
sation for an hour together, then put up their implements, help each other
to resume their burdens, and take their leave.” _

Dr. Brown says—‘“ I cannot but think that to a genius like that of Swift a
finer subject of philosophical ridicule than the mere difficulty which his sages
felt in carrying asufficient stock of things to supply the place of abstract lan-
guage might have been found. In his own great field of political irony, for ex-
ample, how many subjects of happy satire might he have found in the emblems
to which his patriots and courtiers, in their most zealous professions of public
devotion, might have been obliged to have recourse ; the painful awkwardness
of the political expectant of places and dignities, who was outwardly to have
no wish but for the welfare of his country, yet could find nothing but mitres
and maces, and seals, and pieces of stamped metal, with which to express
his purity and disinterested patriotism ; and the hurrying eagerness of the
statesman to change instantly the whole upholstery of language in his house
for new political furniture, in consequence of the mere accident of his re-
moval of office.”

The vindictiveness of Swift may be seen in the severely bitter attacks he
made on individuals. The steward of his college had offended him in some
way, and he thus paints his portrait. When once the dean took offence he
never forgave the culprit. He was a firm friend when it suited his interest
or ambition ; but where he supposed either the one or the other had been
slighted, he spared no means, however unfair or dishonourable, by tongue
or pen, to lower his adversary in the estimation of his confréres.

“ A COLLEGE STEWARD

is an animal mixture, a medley or hodge-podge of butcher and cook, of
scullion and scholar. He lives negatively by the privation of others, and
mortifies more the flesh than all the divines in the kingdom. Did he
live an.ong the ancients, he would be taken for a wrestling-master, with his
skin oiled for the circus. Hence, it comes to pass, that his greasy shirt
pays his laundress, and finds her in soap and candles. You may follow
him (like the old pie-woman,) by his smell. Strangers passing by his
door take it for the college chandler’s: an ignorant woman went there,
directed by her nose, to sell her kitchen stuff. The butcher’s dogs fawn
upon him, and follow him for his hogoes.”’

The “ Tale of a Tub” is an allegory, in which the churches of Rome
and England, and the Calvinistic church, are respectively represented as
three brothers, Peter, Jack, and Martin. The gradual rise of the eccle-



LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xxxi

siastical corruptions of the past centuries, together with the reformation,
are admirably and laughably typified by the increasing foppery of the
brothers, and by Peter kicking Martin and Jack out of doors, who after-
wards set up for themselves. The entire scope of the satire is against the
churches of Rome and Scotland. There are a great many prefaces and
digressions, which, although in some parts obscure and obscene, evince
much wit, and the most pungent irony. The circumstance of Swilt
writing allegory has led some of his biographers to suppose that he
was possessed of fancy, it being erroneously imagined that allegory was a
continuation of metaphor. Mr. Carson, of Ireland, very clearly points out
the line of demarcation between allegory and metaphor in his Essay on
«The Figures of Specch.” The ‘ Tale of a Tub” is an effort of wit
rather than of fancy. Wit and fancy have at least one field of display ;
for they are both founded on resemblance. Perhaps allegory is a part of
this common field; and it may be well taken for granted that the sustained
resemblance of his allegory was traced out by the wit of Swift, and that
the fancy, which never made any native sally in any other of his works,
was not likely to shine with much lustre in the “Tale of a Tub.” The
atmosphere of Swift’s mind was far too chilly for the growth of the deli-
cate flowers of rhetoric.

Perhaps, after the specimens already given, enough has been said indi-
cative of his style. It is fertile in poor and idiomatic expressions. Ilis
poetical effusions are especially chargeable with this literary vice: in this
he is a contrast to the other wits and writers of his day, whose works have
descended to us. Pope and Addison are not often indecent, and they are
never disgusting. Rich in all the arts that make literature attractive, it
seemed to be their innocent ambition to ‘‘gild” what already appeared to
be “refined gold,” and to “ paint the lily” with a more dazzling whiteness.
Swift, on the contrary, delights to degrade everything that is amiable by
associations of every kind of nastiness. His poems are no sooner opened,
than the nose is invaded and the stomach set in motion.

A biographer who does not enter into the moral character of his subject
leaves it to be understood that in this respect he was an ordinary specimen
of human nature. In this, however, there is, perhaps, some injustice ; as
it is possible that the same peculiarities of mind which elevated him above
his fellow-men, gave also a distinctive character to his morals. The
question of his moral temperament must, nevertheless, be left undecided, or
charitably explained, unless great events or critical situations have afforded
good grounds for a decided and distinct opinion. Although considerable
mystery hangs over many parts of Swift’s life, there are two critical situa-
tions which may be easily distinguished. he first is the invitation to
Stella to come to Ireland, already mentioned; the second is his treatment of
Vanessa after she had disclosed to him the state of her affections. In both
of these Swift acted a most dishonourable and unmanly part, and yet the
name of Swift has descended to posterity in the light of his abilities rather
than in the shade of his character. Strange it is, that wit should be con-
sidered valuable enough to redeem character, not to say dishonour and
disgrace. But the world is, for the most part, led captive by meretricious
displays ; and the greatest vices will ever find their admirers and apologists,
if they are gilded by the charm of genius or lighted up by the flashes of
wit. To saya good thing is far more famous than to doa good thing.



XXX LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

The names of Howard and Hampden have but a feeble immortality; and
it requires all the genius of Pope and ali the eloquence of Burke to embalin
them. But the critic who recognises any moral error in the language of
praise or censure must act on this maxim—that no abilities, however solid
or shining, can lay any other claim to admiration than that which is
founded on the good use made of them, and the noble ends to which they
are devoted. In this memoir we have carefully avoided the field of Irish
politics, which, however proper their consideration might have been in a life
of Swift, would, from the vastness of the subject, as well as from the convic-
tion of the ill-feeling which such retrospects frequently occasion in this day,
have occasioned too long a digression. It will be enough to observe that his
writings, and especially the “ Drapier’s Letters” were influential in spread-
ing more correct views of the true position and rights of Ireland. This
unhappy country, the nursing mother of eloquence and wit, seems, however,
to be true still to the fortunes of genius.

The biographer of Swift, or of any other of the literary men of his time,
cannot but feel that they were the polishers of that luxuriant power which
a century before, laid the foundations of England’s intellectual greatness.
The age of Elizabeth was an era of power; the age of Anne was one of
polish. Imagination, in its comprehensive sense, was the basis of both
periods; in the former, breaking out in the grandest phenomena, and
peopling the intellectual world with the happiest creations of humanity; in
the latter, delighting in the lighter imagery of a well regulated fancy.
With the exception of Bacon, who possessed the lofty imagination of the
age, we see no one thus gifted who endeavoured to penetrate the secrets of
philosophy, until we arrive at the precincts of our own day. A race of
daring and powerful (though perhaps a little erratic) writers are already
beginning to appear. They have dedicated theinselves with a religious
devotion to the service of truth: and it is reasonable to hope that the
spring-time and summer of literature should be succeeded by an autumnal
era, of which their flowers may be considered as the beautiful harbingers.

Having thus endeavoured to give the reader a fair and comprehensive
digest of the life and principal works of the great satirist, we can but say in
conclusion, that it is ever to be regretted that talents so splendid, and
genius so exalted as that possessed by Swift, should have been perverted
to the mere purposes of party; and that, while his literary fame will con-
tinue to be appreciated by generations unborn, his character, instead of
shining with the light of religion and morality, should be rather held out as
a beacon to warn the heedless against the consequences ever resulting from
the laxity in moral attributes, and the tergiversation in political honour
which distinguishes him from ali his contemporaries,





A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

CHAPTER IL

THE AUTHOR GIVES SOME ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF AND FadILY: HIS
FIRST INDUCEMENTS TO TRAVEN, HE IS SHIPWRECKED, AND
SWIMS FOR HIS LIFE3 GETS SAFE ON SHORE IN THE COUNTRY OF
LILLIPUT; IS MADE A PRISONER, AND CARRIED UP THE COUNTRY.

y Father had a small estate in Not-
tinghamshire ; I was the third of five
sons. He sent me to Emanuel col-
lege in Cambridge, at fourteen years
old, where I resided three years, and
applied myself close to my studies ;
but the charge of maintaining me,
although I had a very scanty allow-
ance, being too great for a narrow
fortune, I was bound apprentice to
Mr. James Bates, an eminent sur-
geon in London, with whom I con-



tinued four years; and my father now and then sending me small sums
of money, I laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the



a A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed it
would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates,
I went down to my father; where, by the assistance of him and my uncle
John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of
thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden; there I studied physic
two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long voyages.



Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good
master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pan-
nell, commander: with whom I continued three years and a half, making
a voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came
back I resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master, en-
couraged me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took
part of a small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my
condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund
Burton, hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred
pounds for a portion. |

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few
friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer
me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having
therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I deter-
mined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships, and
made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies, by which
I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in reading
the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided with a good
number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the manners and
dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language ; wherein |
had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, 1 grew weary of



CULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 3

the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. T re-
moved from the Old Jewry to Fetter-lane, and from thence to Wapping,
hoping to get busincg among the sailors, but it would not turn to ac-
count. After three years’ expectation that things would mend, I accepted
an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of the An-
telope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from
Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage at first was very prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with the
particulars of our adventures in those seas ; let it suffice to inform him,
that in our passage from thence to the Kast Indies, we were driven by a
violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen’s Land. By an observa-
tion, we found ourselves in the latitude of 80 degrees 2 minutes south,
Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food; the
rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, which was
the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the
seaman spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship; but the
wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and split. Six



of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down the boat into the sea,
made a shift to get clear of the ship and the rock. We rowed, by my
computation, about three leagues, till we were able to work no longer,
being already spent with labour while we were in the ship. We therefore
trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves, and in about half an hour the
boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north, What became of
my companions in the boat, as well of those who escaped on the rock, or
were left in the vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost.
For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed for-
ward by the wind and tide. I often Jet my legs drop, and could feel no
bottom; but when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I
found myself within my depth ; and by this time the storm was so much
abated. The declivity was so small, that I walked near a mile before I
got to the shore, which I conjectured was about cight o’clock in the even-
ing. I then advanced forward near half a mile, but could not discover
any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a condition,



4 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT,

that I did not observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, ané
the heat of the weather, and about halfa pint of brandy that I drank as I
left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the
grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever |
remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours;
for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not
able to stir: for as I happened to lie on iny back, I found my arms and legs
were strongly fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which
was long and thick, tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt seve.

I
the 77S
oe (te.



ral slender ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I
could only look upwards, the sun began to grow hot, and the hght
offended my cyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the pos.
ture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt some-
thing alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over
my breast came almost up to my chin; when bending my eyes downward
as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches
high, with a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his back, In
the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I conjec-
tured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and roared
so loud, that they all ran back in a fright; and some of them, as T was
afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my
sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them,
who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his hands
and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but distinct voice,
Hekinah degul: the others repeated the same words several times, but I
then knew not what they meant. I lay all this while, as the reader may
believe, in great uneasiness; at length, struggling to get loose, I had the
fortune to break the strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my
left arm to the ground; for, by lifting it to my face, I discovered the
methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a violent
pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 5

down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my head
about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before 1 could
seize them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill .accent,
and after it ceased I heard one of them cry aloud, folgo phonac ; when in
an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,
which pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another



flight into the air, as we do bombs in Lurope, whercof many, I suppose,
fell on my body, (though I felt them not) and some on my face, which
I immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows
vas over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain, and then striving again
to ge' loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and
some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by
good luck I had on me a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I
thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design was to
continue so till night, when, my left hand being already loose. I could
easily free myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe I
might be a match for the greatest army they could bring against me, if
they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune dis-
posed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet they
discharged no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their num-
bers increased ; and about four yards from me, over-against my right ear,
I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work; when
turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would permit
me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from the ground, capa-
ble of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three ladders to mount
it: from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person of quality,
made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one syllable. But I
should have mentioned, that before the principal person began his ora-
tion, he cried out three times, Langro dehul san; (these words and the



re)

6 A VOYAGE 16 DIELEr Vs.

former were afterwards repeated and explained to me.) Whereupon,
immediately about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the strings that
fastened the left side of my head, which gave me the hberty of turning
it to the right, and of observing the person and gesture of him that was



to speak. He appeared to be of a middle age, and taller than any of tle
other three who attended him, whereof one was a page that held up his
train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger; the
other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted every part of
an orator, and I could observe many periods of threatings, and others of
promises, pity and kindness. I answered in a few words, but in the most
submissive manner, lifting up my left hand and both my eyes to the sun,
as calling him for a witness; and being almost famished with hunger,
having rot eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found
the demands of nature so strong upon me that I could not forbear showing
my impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of decency) by putting my
finger frequently to my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The hurgo
(for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very
well. He descended from the stage, and commanded that several lad-
ders should be applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of the in-
habitants mounted, and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets
full of meat, which had been provided and sent thither by the king’s
orders, upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there
was the flesh of several animals, but I could not distinguish them by the
taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of mutton,
and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I eat them
by two or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about the



GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 9"

bigness uf musket bullets. They supplied me as fast as they could, show-
ing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and appe-
tite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by
my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most
ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their largest
hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top; I drank
it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not hold half a pint,

nd tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much more delicious.
They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the same manner,
and made signs for more: but they had none to give me. When I had
performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced upon my
breast, repeating several times as they did at first, Hekinah degul. They
made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first
warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud, Borach
mevolah ; and when they saw the vessels in the air, there was a universal
shout of Hekinah degul. I confess I was often tempted, while they were



passing backwards and forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the
first that came in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But the
remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst
they could do, and the promise of honour I made them, for so I inter-
preted my submissive behaviour, soon drove out these imaginations. Be-
sides, I now considered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality, to a
people who had treated me with so much expense and magnificence.



§ A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

kiowever, in my thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intre-
pidity of these diminutive mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk
upon my body, while one of my hands was at liberty, without trembling
at the very sight of so prodigious a creature as I must appear to them.
After some time, when they observed that I made no more demands for
meat, there appeared before me a person of high rank from his imperial
majesty. His excellency having mounted on the small of my right leg,
advanced forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his retinue; and
producing his credentials under the signet royal, which he applied close
to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with
a kind of determinate resolution ; often pointing forwards, which, as I
afterwards found, was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant;
whither it was agreed by his majesty, in council, that I must be conveyed.
I answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my
hand that was loose, putting it to the other, (but over his excellency’s
head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and
body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he under-
stood me well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation,
and held his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried asa prisoner.
However, he made other signs to let me understand, that I should have
meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I onca
more thought of attempting to break my bonds, but again, when 1 felt
the smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in
blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing like-
wise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let them
snow that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the
lurgo and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful counte-
nances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent repetitions of
the words, Peplum selan; and I felt great numbers of people on my left
side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was able to turn upon my
right, and to ease myself with making water; which I very plentifully
did, to the great astonishment of the people; who, on conjecturing by
iy motion what I was going to do, immediately opened to my right and
left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell with such noise and v10~
lence from me. But before this, they had daubed my face and both my
hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which, in a
few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows. These circum-
stances, added to the refreshment I had received by their victuals and
drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept about
eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no wonder, for the
physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a sleepy potion in the

hogsheads of wine.



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 9

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the
ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an express;
and determined, in council, that I should be tied in the manner I have
related (which was done in the night while I slept) ; that plenty of meat
and drink should be sent me, and a machine prepared to carry me to the
capital city.

This resolution, perhaps, may appear very bold and dangerous, and I
am confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the
like occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as
well as generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill
me with their spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly
have awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have
roused my rage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings
wherewith I was tied ; after which, as they were not able to make re-
sistance, so they could expect no mercy.

















































































































These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a
great perfection in mechanics by the countenance and encouragement
of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has
several machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other great
weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are
nine feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried
on these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred
carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the

2

a



10 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood, raised three inches
from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upon
twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this
engine, which it seems set out in four hours after my landing. It was
brought parallel to me as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to raise
and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were
erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the bigness of pack-
thread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which the workmen
had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hun-
dred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by
many pulleys fastened on the poles, and thus, in less than three hours,
I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I
was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a profound
sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor.
Fifteen hundred of the emperor’s largest horses, each about four inches
and a half high, were employed to draw me towards the metropolis,
which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very
ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped awhile, to adjust
something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had
the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep: they climbed up
into the engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an
officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up
into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
sneeze violently ; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three
weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made
a long march the remaining part of the day, and rested at night with five
hundred guards on each side me, half with torches, and half with bows
and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next morning
at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred yards
of the city gates about noon, The emperor and all his court came out to
meet us; but his great officers would by no means suffer his majesty to
endanger his person by mounting on my body.

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple,
esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having been
polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to
the zeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had been
applied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried away.
In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate front-
ing to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide,
through which I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was a
small window, not above six inches from the ground; into that on the



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 11

left side, the king’s smith conveyed four-score and eleven chains, like
those that hang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which
were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against
this temple, on the other side of. the great highway, at twenty feet distance,
there was a turret, at least five feet high. Here the emperor ascended,
with many principal lords of his court, to have an opportunity of viewing
me, as I was told, for [could not see them. It was reckoned that above a
hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand;
and, in spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten
thousand, at several times, who mounted my body, by the help of ladders.
But a proclamation was soon issued to forbid it, upon pain of death,
When the workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they
cut all the strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up, with as melan-
choly a disposition as ever I had in my life. But the noise and astonish-
ment of the people, at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed.
The chain that held my left leg was about two yards long, and gave fle
not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle ;
but, being fixed within four inches of the gate allowed me to creep in, and
lie at my full length in the temple.







CHAPTER ILI.

THE EMPEROR OF LILLIPUT, ATTENDED BY SEVERAL OF THE NOBILITY,
COMES TO SEE THE AUTHOR IN HIS CONFINEMENT. THE EMPEROR'S.
PERSON AND HABIT DESCRIBED. LEARNED MEN APPOINTED TO
TEACH THE AUTHOR THEIR LANGUAGE. HE GAINS FAVOUR BY
HIS MILD DISPOSITION. HIS POCKETS ARE SEARCHED, AND HIS
SWORD AND PISTOLS TAKEN FROM HIM.

HEN I found myself on my feet, I looked
about me, and must confess I never beheld
a more entertaining prospect. The country
around appeared like a continued garden,
«i, and the enclosed fields, which were gene-
i} rally forty feet square, resembled so many
beds of flowers. These fields were inter-
mingled with woods of half a stang,* and
the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared
iy «to be seven feet high. I viewed the town
on my left hand, which looked like the painted scenes of a city in a
theatre.

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of
nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last
disburdened mysclf. I was under great difficulties between urgency and
shame. The best expedient I could think on,} was to creep into my



* A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.

+ Yhe author is singular in the use of this phrase, as think of, not think on, is the
usual mode.



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS, 18

house, which I accordingly did ; and shutting the gate after me, I went
as far as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my belly
of that uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so
uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will
give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered
my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice
was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the full
extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning, before com-
pany came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-
barrows, by two servants, appointed for that purpose. I would not have
dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight, may appear
not very momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify my charac-
ter, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I am told, some of my
maligners have been pleased, upon this and other occasions, to call in
question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house,
having occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from
the tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have
eost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly
unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before
him, reared up on his hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent
horseman, kept his seat till his attendants ran in, and held the bridle,
while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed
me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain.
He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me
victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicle upon
wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles, and soon emptied
them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and ten with liquor;
each of the former afforded me two or three good mouthfuls; and I
emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained in earthern vials,
into one vehicle, drinking it off ata draught; and so I did with the
rest. The ‘empress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes,
attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but upon
the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse they alighted, and
came near his person, which I am now going to describe. He is taller, by
almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court; which alone is
enough to strike an awe into the beholders. His features are strong and
masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive,
his countenance erect, his body and limbs well proportioned, all his
motions graceful, and his deportment majestic. He was then past his
prime, being twenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had
reigned about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the



14 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

better convenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face
was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however, I have
had him since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived
in the description. His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion
of it between the Asiatic and the European: but he had on his head a light
helmet of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He
held his sword drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to
break loose ;* it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were
gold enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and
‘articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies
and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they
stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread on the ground, em-
broidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke
often to me, and I returned answers ; but neither of us could understand
a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present, (as I
conjectured by their habits,) who were commanded to address themselves
to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least
smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,
Italian, and Lingua Franca, ‘but all to no purpose. After about two
hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent the
impertinence, and propably the malice of the 3
rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about
me as near as they durst; and some of them
had the impudence to shoot their arrows at
me, as J sat on the ground by the door of my
house, whereof one very narrowly missed my
left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the
ringleaders to be seized, and thought no pun-
ishment so proper as to deliver them bound into
my hands; which some of his soldiers accord-
ingly did, pushing them forward with the
butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. 1]
took them all in my right hand, put five of
them into my coat-pocket, and as to the sixth,
I made a countenance as if I would eat him
alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and 7
the colonel and his officers were in much pain, especially when they



* The masculine features, which Gulliver could not see before he laid his face
upon the ground, and the awful superiority of stature in the being whom he held
in his hand; the helmet, the plume, and the sword, are fine proofs of human pride ;
the ooject of which are trifling distinctions, which derive not only their origin but
their service from the folly, weakness, and imperfections of ourselves and others.



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 15

saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for,
looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings he was -bound with,
I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I treated the rest in
the same manner, taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I ob-
served “both the soldiers and the people were highly delighted at this
mark of my clemency, which was represented very much to my advantage
at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay
on the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which
time the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hun-
dred beds* of the common measure were brought in carriages, and worked
up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn together, make
up the breadth and length ; and these were four double; which, how-
ever, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the floor, that
was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they provided me with
sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been
so long inured to hardships.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought
prodigious numbers, rich, idle, and curious people, to see me; so that the
villages were almost emptied ; and great neglect of tillage and household
affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not provided, by
several proclamations and orders of state, against this inconveniency.
He directed that those who had already beheld me should return home,
and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house, without licence
from the court; whereby the secretary of state got considerable fees.

In the mean time the emperor ‘held frequent councils, to debate what
course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured, by a
particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the secret
as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning me. They
apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very expensive,
and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me, or
at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisonous arrows, which
would soon despatch me; but again they considered that the stench of
so large a carcase might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably
spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these consultations,
several officers of the army went to the door of the great council-chamber,
and two of them being admitted, gave an account of my behaviour to the
six criminals above-mentioned ; which made so favourable an impression
in the breast of his majesty, and the whole board, in my behalf, that an
imperial commission was issued out, obliging all the villagers, nine hun-

* Gulliver has observed great exactness in the just proportion and appearanée
of the objects thus lessened.



16 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

dred yards round the city, fo deliver in every morning six beeves, forty
sheep, and other victuals, for my sustenance ; together with a proportion-
able quantity of bread, and wine, and other liquors; for the due pay-
ment of which his majesty gave assignments upon his treasury : for this
prince lives chiefly upon his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great-
occasions raising any subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend
him in his wars at their own expense. An establishment was also made
of six-hundred persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed
for their maintenance, and tents built for them, very conveniently, on
each side of my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred
tailors should make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country ;
that six of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct
me in their language ; and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of
the nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my
sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in
execution ; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning
their language ; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me
with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We
began already to converse together in some sort ; and the first words I
learnt, were to express my desire ‘that he would be pleased to give me
my liberty ;’ which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I
could apprehend it, was, ‘ that this must be a work of time, not to be
thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must /wmos
kelmin pesso desmar lon emposa ;’ that is, swear a peace with him and his
kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he
advised me to ‘ acquire by my patience and discreet behaviour. the good
opinion of himself and his subjects.’ He desired, ‘I would not take it
ill if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me ; for probably
I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs be dangerous
things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a person.’ I said,
‘His majesty should be satisfied! for I was ready to strip myself, and
turn out my pockets before him.’ This I delivered, part in words, and
part in signs. He replied, ‘that by the laws of the kingdom, I must be
- searched by two of his officers; that he knew this could not be done
without my consent and assistance ; and he had so good an opinion of
my generosity and justice as to trust their persons in my hands ; that
whatever they took from me should be returned when I left the country
or paid for, at the rate which I would set upon them.’ I took up the two
officers in my hands, put them first’ into my coat-pockets, and then into
every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and another secret
pocket, which I had no mind should be searched, wherein I had some
little necessaries that were of no consequence to any but myself. In



A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 17

one of my fobs there was a silver watch, and in the other a small quantity
of gold ina purse. These gentlemen, having pens, ink and paper about
them, made an exact inventory of every thing they saw; and when they
had done, desired I would set them down, that they might deliver it to
the emperor. This inventory I afterwards translated into English, and
is word for word as follows :

‘ Imprimis, In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain (for so
I interpret the words guinbus festrin), after the strictest search, we found



only one great piece of coarse clath, large enough to be a foot cloth for your
majesty’s chief room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver
chest, with a cover of the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not
able to lift. We desired it should be opencd, and one of us stepping into
it, found himself up to the mid-leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof
flying up to our faces, set us both a-sneczing for several times together.
In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of white thin
substance, folded one over another, about the bigness of three men, tied
with a strong cable, and marked with black figures; which we humbly
‘conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as large as the palm of
3



18 GULLIVER’S TRAVELS.

our nands. In the left there was a sort of engine, from the back of
which were extended twenty long poles, resembling the palisadoes before
your majesty’s court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs
his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions, because we
found it a great difficulty to make him understand us. In the large
pocket, on the right side of his middle cover, (so I translate the word
ranfu-lo, by which they meant my breeches), we saw a hollow pillar of
iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber
larger than the pillar; and upon one side of the pillar were huge pieces
of iron sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we knew not what to
make of. In the left pocket, ancther engine of the same kind. In the
smaller pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white
and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be
silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly lif,
them. In the left poeket were two black pillars irregularly shaped: we
could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the
bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed all of a
piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white round
substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these
was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which by our orders, we obliged
him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous
engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own
country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, and
cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could
not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the
tops of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his belly.
Cut of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a wonderful kind of
engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was at
the end of that chain; which appeared to be a globe, half silver, and half
of some transparent metal; for, on the transparent side, we saw certain
strange figures circularly drawn, and thought we could touch them, till
we found our fingers stopped by that lucid substance. He put this
engine to our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-
mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god
that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because
he assured us, (if we understand him right, for he expressed himself very
imperfectly,) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He

called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of

his life.* From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for

* The author seems to intend to show the probable fallacy of opinions derived
from the reports of travellers, by showing how little truth need be represented to
make falsehood specious.



A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 19

a fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him
for the same use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal,
which, if they be real gold, must be of immense value.

“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently
searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of
the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a
sword of the length of five mén; and on the right, a bag or pouch divided
into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your majesty’s sub-
jects. In one ofthese eélls were several globes, or balls, of a most
ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and required a strong
hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap of certain black grains,
butof no great bulk or.weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in
the palms of our hands.” *

“This is an exaet inventory of what we found about the body of the
man-mountain, who used us. with great civility, and due respect to your
majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the
eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign :

“ CLEFRIN FRELOcK,
“Marsrt Freiock.”

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,
although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. He
first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In the
mean time, he ordered three thousand of the choicest troops (who then
attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and arrows
just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes were
wholly fixed wpon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my scimitar,
which, although it had got some rust by the sea-water, was in most parts
exceedingly bright. I did so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout
between terror and surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection
dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and froin my hand. His
majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I
could expect; he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, and cast it
on the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the end of my
chain. The nextthing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars ; by
which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as
well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and charging it only with
powder, which by the closeness of my pouch, happened to escape wetting
in the sea (an ingonvenience against which all prudent mariners take
special care to provide), I first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and
then Ilet it off in the air. The astonishment here was much greater



&

a) ae GULLIVER’S TRAVELS,

than at the sight of the scimitar. Hundreds fell down asif they had been
atruck dead; and even the emperor, although he stood his ground, could
not recover bimvelf for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the

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same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder
and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept from fire, for
it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace
into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was
very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the
guards to bear in on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England
do a barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and
the motion of the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their
sight is much more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned
men about it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well -
imagine without my repeating ; although indeed I could not very perfectly
understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my
purse with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife:



A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 21

and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-
book. My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his
majesty’s stores ; but the rest of my goods were returned me.

I had, as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their
search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use
for the weakness of mine eyes), a pocket perspective, and some other
little conveniencies ; which, being of no consequence to the emperor,
I did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended
they might be lost or spoiled, if I ventured them out of my possession,



P.zmies have always existed as isolated dwarfs, but the writers of the old
wor.d were of opinion that the race existed as a ration, and as such are men-
tio.ed by the Latin historian Pliny, and the elder Greeks, Herodotus and
Aristotle. Ctesias, who lived in the time of Xenophon, thus speaks the opinion
and history of his own day: “In the middle of India, there are black men
called piginies, using the same language as the other Indians; they are very
little, the tallest of them being but two cubits, and most of them but a cubit
and a-half high. They have very long hair, reaching down to their knees and
lower; and a beard larger than any man’s. After their beards are grown long,
they wear no clothes, but the hair of their head falls behind, a great deal lower
than their hams, and that of their beard before comes down to their feet; then
laying their hair thick all about their body, they afterwards gird themselves,
making use of their hair for clothes. They are flat-nosed, and ill-favoured.
Their sheep are like lambs, and their oxen and asses scarcely as big as rams, and
their horses and mules, and all their other cattle, not bigger. Three thousand
of these pigmies are household troops in the service of the king of India. They
ne good archers. hey are very just, and use the same laws as the Indians
do.”

The word Gammachia is rendered by the ancient Biblical commentators,
“ pigmies,” and so the Vulgate has it: “This circumstance,” as Sir Thomas
Browne remarks in his ‘ Enquiries into Vulgar Errors,’ “‘tended greatly to con-
firm the popular belief in the existence of this fabulous race.” Viewed as a
mere fiction, the account of Lilliput did not appear so extravagant in Swift’s
days asit does in ours. Every one has heard the story of the Irish bishop, a
very learned man, who, having read the voyage to Lilliput, said that, ‘there
were some things in it, which he could not believe.”

Gulliver is really an existing name. Swift had evidently forgotten he had
ever heard it, and fancied it an invention of his own: no doubt he was amused
at the discovery of his mistake ; one of that family was a member of the colonial
legislature in Boston. Mr. Jonathan Gulliver, however, was at especial and
needless pains to prove the fact of ‘‘no connexion with the other house” across
the water; it seems he had no wish to be immortalized after so questionable a

fashion.





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CHAPTER III.

THE AUTHOR DIVERTS THE EMPEROR, AND HIS NOBILITY OF BOTH
SEXES, IN A VERY UNCOMMON MANNER. THE DIVERSIONS OF THE
COURT OF LILLIPUT DESCRIBED, THE AUTHOR HAS HIS LIBERTY
GRANTED HIM UPON CERTAIN CONDITIONS.

RD . (9) y gentleness and good behaviour had gained
a dy f ah so far on the emperor and his court, and
a a) indeed upon the army and people in
So RUF general, that I began to conceive hopes of
getting my liberty in a short time. I took
all possible methods to cultivate this favour-
able disposition. The natives came, by
degrees, to be less apprehensive of any
danger from me; I would sometimes lie
down, and let five or six of them dance on
my head; and atlast the boys and girls would venture to come and play
at hide and seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in under-
standing and speaking their language. The emperor had a mind one
day to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they
exceeded all naticns I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence.
I was diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed
upon a slender white thread extended about two feet, and twelve inches
from the ground: upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader’s
patience, to enlarge a little. |

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates
for great employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in
this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or liberal



Q








A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 93

education. ‘When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace
(which often happens), five or six of those candidates petition the
emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope;
and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office.
Very often the chief ministers themselves are commanded to show their
skill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.
Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight rope, at
least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire. I have
seen him do the summerset* several times together, upon a trencher
fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a common packthread in England.
My friend Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs, is in my
opinion, if I am not partial, the second after the treasurer: the rest of
the great officers are much upon a par

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great
numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates
break alimb. But the danger is much greater when the ministers them-
selves are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to
excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly
one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three.
I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would
infallibly have broken his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, that acci-
dentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. The
emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;
one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads are pro-
posed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to dis-
tinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performed
in his majesty’s great chamber of state, where the candidates are to
undergo a trial of dexterity, very different from the former, and such as I
have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of the
new or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends
parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,
sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and
forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed.
Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first minister
the other ; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever
performs his part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping
and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured silk ; the red is given
to the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice

* Sommerset or summersault, a gambol of a tumbler, in which he springs up, turns
heels over head in the air, and comes down upon his feet.



24 GULLIVER’S TRAVELS.

round about the middle; and you see few great persons about this court,
who are not adorned with one of these girdles.




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The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables having been
daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very
feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I
held it on the ground; and one 2f the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large
courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious leap.
I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extra-
ordinary manner, I desired he would order several sticks of two feet
high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; where-
upon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give directions
accordingly ; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many
carriages drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks,
and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet
and a-half square, I took four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each
corner about two feet from the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief
to the nine sticks that stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it
was tight as the top of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about
five inches higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side,
When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his
best horses, twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain.
His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one,
in my hands, ready mounted and armed with the proper officers to exercise



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS, 25

them. As soon as they got into order, they divided into two parties,
performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords,
fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in short, discovered the best
military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and
their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much
delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several days,
and once was pleased to be lifted up, and give the word of command ;
and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself to let me
hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, when she was
able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was my good
fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments ; only once,
a fiery horse that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof,
struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, he overthrew his
rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and covering
the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the other, in the same
manner as I took them up. The horse that fell was strained in the left
shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I repaired my handkerchief as
well as I could: however, I would not trust the strength of it any more,
in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was enter-
taining the court with this kind of feats, there arrived an express to
inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place where
I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on the
ground, very.oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as his
majesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man:
that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it lay on
the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it
several times; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had
got tothe top, which was flat and even, and stamping upon it, they
found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might
be something belonging to the man-mountain ; and if his majesty pleased,
they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently
knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this intelligence.
It seems, upon my reaching the shore after our shipwreck, I was in
such confusion, that before I came to the place whcre I went to sleep,
my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was
rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I
came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by some accident,
which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I
entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be brought to me
as soon as possible, describing to him the use and nature of it: and the
next day the wagoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition ;

4

a



26 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and a-half of the
edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks were tied by a
long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above
half an English mile; but, the ground in that country being extremely
smooth and level, it received less damage than J expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of
his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in readiness,
took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired
I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I convenientzy



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could. He then commanded his general (who was an old experienced
leader and a great patron of mine,) to draw up the troops in close order,
and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the
horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced.
This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His
majesty gave orders, upon pain ef death, that every soldier in his march



GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 27

should observe the strictest decency with regard to my person; which
however could not preven: some of the younger officers from turning up
their eyes as they passed under me; and, to confess the truth, my
breeches were at that time in so ill a condition, that they afforded some
opportunities for laughter and admiration.

I had sent so::many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then in
a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam,
who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal enemy.
But it was carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed by
the emperor. That minister was galbet, or admiral of the realm, very
much in his master’s confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but
of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded
to comply ; but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which I
should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by
himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in
person, attended by two under-secretaries, and several persons of distinc-
tion. After they were read, 1 was demanded to swear to the performance
of them: first in the manner of my own country, and afterwards in the
method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in
my left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the
crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear. But be-
cause the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style and
manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to know the
articles upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of
the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was able, which I
here offer to the public:



olbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most
“AP mighty emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe,
whose domcnions extend five thousand dlusirugs (about twelve miles in
circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs,
taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the centre, and
whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the
earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the
summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as the winter. His most sublime
majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial
dominions, the following articles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be
obliged to perform :

I, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without
our license under our great seal.



98 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

II. He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours
warning to keep within doors.

III. The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of
corn.

IV. As he walks the said roads he shall take the utmost care not to
trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses or
carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands, without their
own consent.

V. If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain
shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a six
days’ journey, once in every moon, and return the said messemger back (if
so required,) safe to our imperial presence.

VI. He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu.*
and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now preparing te
invade us.

VII. That the said man-mountain shall, at his time of leisure, be
aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great
stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our
royal buildings.

VIII. That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver
in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a com-
putation of his own paces round the coast.

Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles,
the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink
sufficient for the support of 1728 of our subjects, with free access to our
~oyal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at
Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign. |

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and
content, although some of them were not so honourable as I could

* In his description of Lilliput, he seems to have had England more immediately
to view. In his description of Blefuseu, he seems to intend the people and king-
dom of France.—Orrery.



, ;
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 29

have wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh
Bolgolam, the high-admiral; whereupon my chains were immediately
unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person,
did me the honour to be by at the whole ceremony. I made my
acknowledgments by prostrating myself at his majesty’s feet: but he
commanded me to rise; and after many gracious expressions, which,
to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall not repeat, he added, ‘that he
hoped I should prove a useful servant, and well deserve all the favours
he had already conferred upon me, or might do for the future.’

The reader may please to observe, that in the last article of the re-
covery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity of
meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1728 Lilliputians. Some
time after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that deter-
minate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians, having
taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and finding it to
exceed theirs in proportion of twelve to one, they concluded, from the
similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1728 of theirs,
and consequently would require as much food as was necessary to sup-
port that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive
an idea of the ingenuity of this people, as well as the prudent and exact
econcmy of so great a prince.



















&



CHAPTER “IV.

MILDENDO, THE METROPOLIS OF LILLIPUT, DESCRIBED, TOGETHER
WITH THE EMPEROR'S PALACE. A CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE
AUTHOR AND THE PRINCIPAL SECRETARY, CONCERNING THE. AFFAIRS
OF THAT EMPIRE. THE AUTHOR OFFERS TO SERVE THE EMPEROR
IN HIS WARS. | |

HE first request I made, after I had obtained
iq] my liberty, was, that I might have license

“aH to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which
aja





ae cB the emperor easily granted me, but with a
Le ; pecial charge to do no hurt either to the
iyi [4,, Inhabitants or their houses. The people

| [ had notice, by proclamation, of my design
j| to visit the town. The wall which en-
\ compassed it, is two feet and a-half high,
\) and at least eleven inches broad, so that a
| coach and horses may be driven very safely
round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I
stepped over the great western gate, and passed very gently and sideling
through the two. principal streets only in my she-t waistcoat, for
fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of
my coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on
any stragglers who might remain in the streets; although the orders
were very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their own

peril, The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with



GULLIVER § TRAVELS. 31

spectarors, that I thought in all my travels I had not scen a more popu-
lous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall bei:g five





























hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across and divide
it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and alleys, which I
could not enter, but only viewed them as I passed, are from twelve to
eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five hundred
thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the shops and
markets well provided.

The emperor’s palace is in the centre of the city where the two great
streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty feet
distant from the building. I had his majesty’s permission to step over
this wall; and the space being so wide between that and the palace, I
could easily view it on every side. The outward court is a square of forty
feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are the royal apart-
ments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult ;
for the great gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches
high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court were
at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride over them
without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls were strongly built
of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the same time, the emperor
nad a great desire that I should see the magnificence of his palace; but
this I was not able to do till three days after, which I spent in cutting down,
with my knife, some of the largest trees in the royal park, about a hun-



So

82 A VOYAGE TO LILLIFUT.

dred yards’ distance from the city. Of these trees I made two stools,
each about three feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The
people having received notice a second time, I went again through the
city to the palace, with my two stools in my hands. WhenI came to
the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the other in
my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down on the space
between the first and second court,.which was eight feet wide. I then







ae
es

stepped over the building very conveniently from one stool to the other,
and drew up the first after me with a hooked stick. By this contrivance
I got into the inner court; and lying down upon my side, I applied my
face to the windows of the middle stories, which were left open on pur-
pose, and discovered the most splendid apartments that could be ima-
gined. ‘There I saw the empress and the young princes, in their several
lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty
was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the
window her hand to kiss.

But I shal] not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this
kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost
ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire,
from its first erection, through a long series of princes; with a particular
account of their wars and politics, laws, learning and religion ; their plants
and animals; their peculiar manners and customs, with others matters
very curious and useful; my chief design at present being only to relate



GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 83

such events and transactions as happened to the public or to myself
during a residence of about nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
Xeldresal, principal secretary (as they style him,) for private affuirs, came
to my house, attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to wait
at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience; which
I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal merits, as
well as of the many good offices he had done me during my solicitationg
at court. I offered to lic down, that he might the more conveniently
reach my ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during
our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty , said “ he
might pretend to some merit in it;” but however added, “ that if it had
not been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not
lave obtained it so soon. For,’ said he, ‘‘ as flourishing a condition as we
may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mighty evils; a
violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion by a most potent
enemy from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for
above seventy moons past there has been two struggling parties in this
empire, under the name Zramecksan and Slamecksan,* from the high and
low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is
alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient
constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make
use only of low heels in the administration of the government, and all
offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe ; and particu-
larly that his majesty’s imperial heels are lower by at least a drurr than
any of his court (drurr is a measure about the fourteenth part of an
inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they
will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the
Lramecksan, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is
wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to
the crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we
can plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other, which
gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine dis-
quiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu,
which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and
powerful as this of his majesty, For as to what we have heard you
affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world inhabited by

* High end low church, or whig and tory. As every accidental difference between
man and man in person and circumstances is by this work rendered extremely
contemptible ; so speculative differences are shown to be equally ridiculous, when
the zeal with which they are opposed and defended too much exceeds their im-
portance—H.

5



$4 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt,
and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of
the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk
would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty’s
dominions: besides, our histories of six thousand’ moons make no men-
tion of any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and
Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell you,
been engaged in a most obstinate war for six and thirty moons past. It
began upon the following occasion: it is allowed on all hands, that the
primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger
end; but his majesty’s grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat
an egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice, happened to
cut one of his fingers; whereupon the emperor his father published an
edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the
smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, that
our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that account;
wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil
commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and
when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire.
It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times ‘suffered
death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many
hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but
the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party
rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the course of
these troubles, the emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate by their
ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion, by offending
against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-
fourth chapter of the Blundecral, which is their Aleoran. This however
is thought to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these:
that all true believers break their eggs at the convenient end; and which
is the convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion, to be left to every
man’s conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate to de-
termine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in the
emperor of Blefuscu’s court, and so much private assistance and encou-
ragement from their private party here at home, that a bloody war has
been carried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons, with
varied success; during which time we have lost forty capital ships,
and a much greater number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thou-
sand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the
enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they
have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make
a descent upon us; and bis imperial majesty, placing great confidence in



QULLIVER’S TRAVELS. vs
your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay this account of his
affairs before you.”

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and
to let him him know, “ that I thought it would not become me, who was
a foreigner, to interfere with parties ; but I was ready, with the hazard
of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.”

* Gulliver without examining the subject of dispute readily engaged to defend
the emperor against invasion; because he knew that no such monarch had a
right to invade the dominions of another for the propagation of truth —H.



ae
We





\.
\







CHAPTER V.





THE AUTHOR, BY AN EXTRAORDINARY STRATAGEM, PREVENTS AN IN-
VASION, A HIGH ‘ITLE OF HONOUR IS CONFERRED UPON HIM.
AMBASSADORS ARRIVE FROM THE EMPEROR OF BLEFUSCU, AND SUE
FOR PEACH. THE EMPRESS’S APARTMENTS ON FIRE BY ACCIDENT;
THE AUTHOR INSTRUMENTAL IN SAVING THE REST OF THE PALACE.

\, HE empire of Blefuscu is an island situated
j tothe north-east of Lilliput, from which it
+ is parted only by a channel of eight hundred
} yards wide, I had not yet seen it, and
} upon this notice of an intended invasion, I
J avoided appearing on that side of the coast,





| enemy’s ships, who had received no intelli_
gence of me; all intercourse between the
==" two empires kaving been strictly forbidden
during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor
upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his majesty a project I
had formed, of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet; which, as our scouts
assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first fair
wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the depth of the
channel, which they had often plumbed ; who told me, that in the middle
at high water it was seventy glumgluffs deep. which is about six feet of
European measure; and the rest of it fifty glumgluffs at most. I



GULLIVER S TRAVELS. : 87

walked towards the north-east coast, over against Blefuscu ; where, lying
down venind a hillock, I took out my small perspective glass, and viewed
the enemy’s fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and
a great number of transports: I then came back to my house, and
gave orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the
strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick
as packthread, and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle.
I trebled the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I
twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a
hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went back to
the north-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and stockings, walkcd
into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an hour before high water,
I waded with what haste I could, and swam in the middle about, thirty
yards, till I felt ground. I arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour.
The enemy were so frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out cf





their ships and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than
thirty thousand souls: I then took my tackling, and fastening a hook to
the hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end.
While 1 was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand
arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face; and, besides the
excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My greatest
apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I
had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little
necessaries, a pair of spectacles, in a private pocket, which, as I observed



88 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

before, had escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took out, and
fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on
boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy’s arrows, many of which
struck against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect
than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the hooks, and
taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would stir, for
they were all too fast held by their anchors; so that the boldest part of my
enterpriseremained. I therefore let go the cord, and leaving the hooks fixed
to the ships, I resolutely cut with my knife the cables that fastened the
anchors, receiving about two hundred shots in my face and hands ; then
I took up the knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks were tied,
and with the greatest ease drew fifty of the enemy’s largest men of war
after me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I intended.
were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me cut the
cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run adrift, or
fall foul of each other: but when they perceived the whole fleet moving
in order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such a scream of
grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or conceive.
When-I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows
that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the same
ointment that was given me on my first arrival, as I have formerly
mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour,
till the tide was a little fallen, ] waded through the middle with my
cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the
issue of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a
large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in
water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet in
pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor concluded
me to be drowned, and that the enemy’s fleet was approaching in
a hostile manner: but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel
growing shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within
hearing, and holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was
fastencd, I cried in a loud voice, ‘‘ Long live the most puissant king
of Lilliput!’? This great prince received me at my landing with all
possible encomiums, and created me a nardue upon the spot, which is the
highest title of honour among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing
all the rest of his enemy’s ships into his ports. And so immeasurable is
the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than
reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing if



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 89

by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling that
people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would remain
the sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him
from this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics of policy as
well as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would: never be an
instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery ;’” and, when
the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were
of my opinion.

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and
politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgiveme. Hemen-
tioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that some
of the wisest appeared at least, by their silence, to be of my opinion; but
others, who were my enemies, could not forbear some expressions which
by aside wind reflected on me; and from this time began an intrigue be-
tween his majesty, and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent against me,
which broke out in less than two months, and had like to have ended in
my utter destruction. Of so little weight are fhe greatest services to
princes, when put into the balance with arefusal to gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy’
from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace; which was soon concluded
upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall
not trouble the reader. ‘There were six ambassadors, with a train of
about five hundred persons: and their entry was very magnificent,
suitable to the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their
business. When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several
good offices by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at
court, their exceliencies, who were privately told how much I had been
their friend, made me a visit in form. They began with many compli-
ments upon my valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom, in
the emperor their master’s name, and desired me to show them some
proofs of my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many
wonders ; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader
with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their infi-
nite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the honour to
present my most humble respects to the emperor their master, the renown
of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with admiration,
and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before I returned to my
own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour to see’ the
emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the Blefuscudian
monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could perceive, ina
very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper



»

40 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

from a certain person, ‘“ that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my
intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection ;” from
which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first time
I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts and ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me by an inter-
preter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each other
as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the antiquity,
beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed contempt of
that of their neighbour: yet our emperor, standing upon the advantage
he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to deliver their cre-
dentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must
be confessed, that from the great intercourse of trade and commerce be-
tween both realms; from the continual reception of exiles which is
mutual among them; and from the custom, in each empire, to send their
young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish them-

elves by seeing the world, and understanding men and manners ;_ there
are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who dwell in the
maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both tongues; as I
found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to the emperor
of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes through the malice
of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me, as I shall relate in
its proper place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon
which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon
account of their being too servile: neither could any thing but an extreme
necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a nardae of the
highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my
dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice) never once mentioned them to
me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing his
majesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed
at midnight by the cries of many hundred people at the door; by which,
being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the word
burglum repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s court, making
their way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the
palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was on fire, by the careless-
ness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a ro-
mance. I got up in an instant; and orders were given to clear the way
before me, and it being likewise a moonlight night, I made a shift to get
to the palace without trampling on any of the people. I found they
had already applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well
provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These
buckets were about the size of a large thimble, and the poor people



*

WLIVER’S TRAVELS.
GULLIVER’S TRA 41

supplied me with them as fast as they could ; but the flame was so
violent that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with my
coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only
in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable
and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burned down to the
ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly
thought of an expedient, }

I had the evening before drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine,
called glimigrim (the Blefuscudians call it flunec, but ours is esteemed the
better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the world,
I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had contracted
by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench them, made
the wine begin to operate by urine; which I voided in such a quantity,
and applied so well to the proper places, that in three minutes the fire
was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cog
so many ages in erecting, preserved from destruction.

It was now daylight, and I returned to my house without waiting
to congratulate the emperor; because, although I had done a very
eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might resent
the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental laws
of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever, to make
water within the precincts of the palace. But I wasa little comforted by
a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders to the grand
justiciary for passing my pardon in form ;” which, however, I could not
obtain ; and I was privately assured, that the empress, conceiving the
greatest abhorence of what I had done, removed to the most distant side
of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings should never be repaired
for her use; and, in the presence of her chief confidants, could not
forbear vowing revenge.





CHAPTER VI.

OF THE INHABITANTS OF LILLIPUT ; THEIR LEARNING, LAWS, AND
CUSTOMS; THE MANNER OF EDUCATING THEIR CHILDREN. THE
AUTHOR’S WAY OF LIVING IN THAT COUNIRY. HIS VINDICATION
OF A GREAT LADY.














f La min] LTHOUGH I intend to leave the description

= fiji, of this empire to a particular treatise, yet,
in the mean time, I am content to gratify
the curious reader with some general ideas.
As the common size of the natives is some-
what under six inches high, so there is an

exact proportion in all other animals, as well

Tt
























as plants and trees: for instance, the tallest
SO la horses and oxen are between four and five
SS ches in height, the sheep an inch and
a-half, more or less; their geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so
the several gradations downwards, till you come to the smallest, which,
to my sight, were almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of
the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they.see with great
exactness, but at no great distance. And to show the sharpness ot
their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased with
observing a cook pulling a lark which was not as large as the common
fly; and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk.
Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in

















GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 43

the great royal pars, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my
fistclenched. The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this
I leave to the reader’s imagination,

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many ages,
has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner of
writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, like the
Europeans; nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians ; nor from
up to down, like the Chinese ; but, aslant, from one corner of the paper
to the other, like ladies in England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downwards, because
they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise





















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat,) will
turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, be
found ready standing on their feet, The learned among them confess the
absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in com-
pliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if
they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I
should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to be
wished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention, relates to
informers. All crimes against the state are punished here with the
utmost severity ; but, if the person accused makes his innocence plainly



44 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put to an ignominious
death ; and out of his goods or lands the innocent person is quadruply
recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for
the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at
in making his defence ; or, if that fund be insufficient, it is largely supplied
by the crown. The emperor also confers on him some public mark of
his favour, and proclamation of his innocence is made throughout the
whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s
goods from thieves, but honesty has no fence against superior cunning ;
and since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of
buying and selling, and dealing upon credit; where fraud is permitted
and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is always
undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was
once interceding with the king for a criminal who had wronged his
master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order, and
ran away with; and happened to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation,
that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in
me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly
Thad little to say in return, further than the common answer, that
different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was heartily
ashamed.* :

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon
which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be
put in practice by any nation, except that of Lilliput. Whoever can
there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of his
country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges, ac-
cording to his quality or condition in life, with a proportionate sum of
money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the
title of snilpall, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not
descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious
defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws were enforced
only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this account
that the image of Justice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with six
eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify cir-
cumspection ; with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a sword
sheathed in her left, to show she is more disposed to reward than to
punish.

* An act of parliament has been since passed, by which some breaches of trust
have been made capital.





GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 45

' In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to
good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to”
mankind, they believe that the common size of human understanding is
fitted to some station or other; and fhat Providence never intended to
make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended
only by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there are seldom three
born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance and the like,
to be in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by
experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service’ of
his country, except where a course of study is required. But they
thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied by _
superior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put
into such dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified ; and at least,
that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in. a virtuous disposition
would never’ be of:such fatal consequence to the public weal, as the
practices of a man, whose inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who
had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and defeiud his corruptions.

Jn like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
incapable of holding any public station: for since kings avow themselves
to be the’ deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be

‘ more absurd than for a: prince- to employ such men as disown the |
authority under which he.acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood
to mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions,
into which these people are. fallen by the degenerate. nature of man.
For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great employments by
dancing on the ropes,.or badges of favour and distinction by leaping
over sticks and creeping under them, the reader is to cbserve, that they
were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning,
and grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and
faction. :

Ingratitude.is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been
in,some other countries: for they reason-thus: that whoever makes ill
return to his benefactor, must needs be.a common enemy to the’ rest of
mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such
a man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating tothe duties of parents and children differ
extremely from ours. For since the conjunction of male and female is -
founded upon the great law of nature, in order-to propagate and continue

’ the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women are
joined together, like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence ;
and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds fromthe like



46 ; A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

natural principle: for which reason, they will never allow that a child is
under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother for
bringing him into the world: which, considering the miseries of human
life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose
thoughts, in their love encounters, were otherwise employed. Upon
these, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are the last
of all others to be trusted with the education of their own children; and
therefore they have in every town public nurseries, where all parents,
except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to serid their infants of both
sexes to be reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty
moons, at which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility.
These schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both
sexes. They have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for
such a condition of life as befits the ranks of their parents, and their own
caprices as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the male
nurseries, and then of the female.































Ue vy ih BT
Oe

2 i ot
SE vil"



The nurseries for males ot noble or eminent birth, are provided with
grave and learned professors and their several deputies. The clothes and
food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the prin-
ciples of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, and
love of their country ; they are always employed in some business, ex-
cept in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and two



_GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 47

hours for diversions, consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by
men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves,
although their quality be ever so great; and the women attendants, who
are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial
offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go together
in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, and always in the
presence of a professor, or one of his deputies ; whereby they avoid those
early bad impressions of folly and vice, to which our children are subject.
Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year: the visit is to
last but an hour; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and
parting; but a professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will
not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions, or bring any
presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment
of achild, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's
officers.

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders,
and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only
those designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old:
whereas, those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till fifteen,
which answers to twenty-one with us; but the confinement is gradually
lessened for the last three years.

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much
like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own
sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they come
to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found that
these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with frightful or foolish
stories, or the common follies practised by chambermaids among us, they
are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned for a year, and
banished for life to the most desolate part of the country. Thus, the
young ladies there are ag much ashamed of being cowardsand fools as the
men; and despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness:
neither did I perceive any difference in their education made by their
difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were not
altogether so robust: and that some rules were given them relating to
domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was enjoined them: for
their maxim is, that among people of quality, a wife should always be a
reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be
young. When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is the
marriageable age, their parents or guardians take them home, with great
expressions of gratitude to the professors, and seldom without the tears
cf the young lady and her companions.



48 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their several
degrees ; those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven years old;
the rest are kept to eleven.

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged,
beside their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to
the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to be
a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in their
expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more
anjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites, to bring
children into the world, and leave the burden of supporting them on the
vublic. As to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a
.ertain sum for each child, suitable to their condition: and these funds
are always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their
business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their

ducation is of little consequence to the public: but the old and diseased
among them are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown
in this empire.

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some
account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,
auring a residence of nine months and thirteen days. Having a head
mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made
for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest trees in
the royal park. Two hundred seampstresses were employed to make me
shirts, and linen, for my bed and table, all of the strongest and coarsest
kind they could get; which however, they were forced to quilt together
in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn.
Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece.
The seampstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing
at my neck, and another at my middle, with a strong cord extended,
that each held by the end, while a third measured the length of the
cord with the rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right
thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that
twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck
and waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the
ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly, Three hundred
tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes; but
they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled. down
and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck ; upon this ladder
one of them mounted, and let fall a plumbline from my collar to the
floor, which just answered the length of my coat; but my waist and



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 49

arms [ measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was
done in my house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to
hold them), they looked like the patch-work made by ladies in England,
only that mine were al! of acolour.





































































































































==

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient
huts, built about my house, where they and their families lived, and pre-
pared two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand and placed
them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the ground, some
with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and other liquors slung
on their shoulders : all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, ina
very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well
in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their
liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but their beef is
excellent. I have hada sirloin so large that I have been forced to make
three bites ofit; but this is rare. My servants were astonished to see me
eat it bones and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese
and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours.
Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living,
desired “that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of
the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,” as he was pleased
to call it, “‘of dining with me.” They came accordingly, and I placed
them in chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with their
guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there
likewise with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on me

”

{



50 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate more
than usual in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with
admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit from his
majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his mas-
ter. That minister had always been my secret enemy, though he out-
wardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness of his nature.
He represented to the emperor “ the low condition of his treasury; that
he was forced to take’ up money at a great discount; that exchequer
bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par; that I had cost
his majesty above a million and a half of sprugs (their greatest gold coin,
about the bigness of a spangle); and, upon the whole, that it would be
advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasion of dismissing me.”

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who
was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy
to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who
informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my
person ; and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came
privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous
falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased
to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own
she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three



more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and
some particular acquaintance: but this was common to many other
ladies of the court: and I will appeal to my servants around, whether
they at any time saw a coach at my door without their knowing what per-
sons were in it. On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice,



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 51

my custom was to go immediately to the door; and, after paying my
respects, to take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands
(for, if there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four),
and place them on a table, where I had fixed a moveable rim quite round,
of five inches high, to prevent accidents; and I have often had four
coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I sat in
my chair leaning my face towards them; and while I was engaged with
one set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table.
I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations.
But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let
them make the best of it), Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person
ever came to me tncognito, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent
by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related.
I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been
a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to
say nothing of my own; though I then had the honour to bea nardae,
which the treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is
only a glumglum, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to
a duke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post.
These false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by
an accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his lady for
some time an ill countenance, and-me a worse; and although he was at
last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and
found my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was,
indeed, too much governed by that favourite.























































































































































































6



CHAPTER VII.

THE AUTHOR, BEING INFORMED OF A DESIGN TO ACCUSE HIM OF

HIGH TREASON, MAKES HIS ESCAPE TO BLEFUSCU. HIS RECEPTION
THERE,

EFORE I proceed to give an account of my
leaving this kingdom, it may be proper to
inform the reader of a private intrigue, which
had been for two months forming against
me.

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger
to courts, for which I was unqualified by
the meanness of my condition. I had, in-
deed, heard and read enough of the dispo-
sitions of great princes and ministers ; but
never expected to have found such terrible
effects of them in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very
different maxims from those in Europe.

While I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of
Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been very ser-
viceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his
imperial majesty.) came to my house very privately at night, in a close
chair; and, without sending in his name, desired admittance. The chair-
men were dismissed ; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my





GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 53

coat-pocket ; and, giving orders to a trusty servant to say I was indis-
posed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed the
chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by it.
After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship’s coun-
tenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired “I
would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my
honour and my life.’ His speech was to the following effect, for I took
notes of it as soon as he left me :—

“You are to know,” said he, “ that several committees of council have
lately been called in the most private manner, on your account; and it is
but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.

“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam ( gadbet or high-ad-
miral,) has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your arrival. His
original reasons I know not ; but his hatred is increased since your great
success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as admiral is much obscured.
This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap, the high-treasurer, whose enmity
against you is notorious on account of his lady; Limtoc, the general;
Lalcon, the chamberlain; and Balmuff, the grand justiciary, have pre-
pared articles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capital
crimes.”



This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits
_and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me
to be silent, and thus proceeded :—



54 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

“Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured infor-
mation of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles; wherein I
ventured my head for your service.”

ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST QUINBUS
FLESTRIN, THE MAN-MOUNTAIN.

ARTICLE }

‘Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty,
Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water within
the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and penalties
of high treason; notwithstanding, the same Quinbus Flestrin, in open
breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire kindled in
the apartment of his majesty’s most dear imperial consort, did maliciously,
traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said
fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of
the said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc.
against the duty, efc.

Articie II.

‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of
Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his
imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of Blefuscu,
and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a viceroy from
hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the Big-endian exiles,
but likewise all the people of that empire who would not immediately
forsake the Big-endian heresy ; he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor
against his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did petition to
be excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to
force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an innocent
people.*

Articte III.

‘That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the court of Blefuscu,
to sue for peace in his majesty’s court; he, the said Flestrin, did, like a
false traitor, aid, abet, comfort and divert, the said ambassadors, although

*A lawyer thinks himself honest, if he does the best he can for his client; anda
statesman, if he promote the interests of his country; but the Dean here inculcates
o higher notion of right and wrong, and obligations to a larger community.—H.



GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 35

ne knew them to be servants to a prince who was lately an open enemy
to his imperial majesty, and in an open war against his said majesty,

ARTICLE IV.

‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithfu.
subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of
Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his imperial
majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely and traitor-
ously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and
abet the emperor of Blufuscu, so lately an enemy, and in open war with
his imperial majesty aforesaid.’

‘“* There are some other articles ; but these are the most important, of
which J. have read you an abstract.

“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed
that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging the
services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes.
The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most
painful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night;
and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with
poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your
servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your
shirts and sheets, which would soon make you. tear your own flesh, and
die in the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion
so that, for along time, there was a majority against you; but. his
majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last bought off the
chamberlain.

‘Upon this incident, Reldresal, principle secretary for private affairs,
who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by the
emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and therein
justified the good thoughts you have of him. . He allowed your crimes
to be great, but that there was still room for mercy, the most commend-
able virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly celebrated.
He said, the friendship between you and him was so well known to the
world, that perhaps the most honourable board might think him partial.
however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would freely
offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of your
services, and pursuant to his own merciful disposition, would please to
spare your life, and only give orders to put out both your eyes, he
humbly conceived, that by this expedient justice might in some measure
be satisfied, and all the world would applaud the lenity of the emperor,
as well as the fair and generous proceedings of those who have the



56 A VOYAGE TU LILLIPUT.

honour to be his counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no
impediment to your bodily strength, by which you might still be useful
to his majesty: that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing
dangers from us: that the fear you had for your eyes, was the greatest
difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet; and it would be sufficient
for you to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the greatest princes do
no more.

“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the
whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper; but
rising up in a fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to
give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor: that the services
you had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the great aggravation
of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the flames by the
discharge of urine into her majesty’a apartment (which he mentioned with
horror,) might, at another time, raise an inundation by the same means,
to drown the whole palace; and the same strength, which enabled you
to bring over the enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to
carry it back: that he had good reasons to think that you were a Big-
endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the heart before it appears
in overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that account, and there-
fore insisted you should be put to death.

“The treasurer was of the same opinion; he showed to what straits
his majesty’s revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you,
which would soon grow insupportable: that the secretary’s expedient of
putting out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this evil,
that it would probably increase it, as is manifest from the common
practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed the faster,
and grew sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the council, who are
your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully convinced of your
guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without
the formal proofs required by the strict letter of the law.*

“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment,
was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought the loss of
your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted hereafter.
And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard again, in
answer to what the treasurer had objected, concerning the great charge

* There is something so odious in whatever is wrong, that even those whom it
does not subject to punishment, endeavour to colour it with an appearance of
right; but the attempt is always unsuccessful, and only betrays a consciousness
of deformity by showing a desire to hide it. Thus, the Lilliputian court pretended
a right to dispense with the strict letter of the law to put Gulliver to death, though
by the strict letter of the law, he could be only convicted of a crime; the intention
of the statute not being to suffer the palace rather to be burnt than defiled. —H.


---

---


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS.





GULLIVER'S TRAVELS

INTO SEVERAL

REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD.

BY JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.

DEAN OF ST, PATRICK’S.
dBith a Bile of He Anthor.

EMBELLISHED WITH NUMEROUS ENGRAVINGS,

BY FIRST-RATE ARTISTS,

LONDON :
WILLOUGHBY & ©O., SMITHFIELD & WARWICK LANE.
PREFACE.



TuERE is nothing so joyous as a fresh and vigorous
boyhood, and none are so happy as boys, in their
pleasures, sports, and pastimes: their gallant ex-
ploits, their noble magnanimity, and ripe-hearted
-disinterestedness, win all hearts. It has long been
my delight to record their “doings” in the play-
ground, the school-room, or in the holiday rambic ;
and it will be my delight to do so still, in this and
succeeding volumes. Sincerely do I hope that I
Gee be able to add sterling gold.to the “golden
age,” and afford to Young England, amid many
comicalities and much laughter, some serious lessons,
and even wisdom; so that each volume may be a
cheerful play-mate, a steady school-mate, and a
ready help-mate to recreation and instruction, not
only during the “Holiday Season,” but “ ALL THE
Year Ronn.”

Your affectionate friend,
Wiiiiam Marry,

Holly Lodge,
July, 14, 1860.








t . 3
2 a, & Ge




CONTENTS.

MEMOIR of Dean Swift SuSE. tuccuveitan £2 Ae
PART I.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

CHAP. I.—The author gives some account of himself and family: his first inducements
to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life; gets safe on shore in the ee
of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and carried up the country .

CHAP. 11.—The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to see
the author in his confinement. ‘The emperor’s person and habit described. Learned
men appointed to teach the author their language. He gains favour by his mild
disposition. His pockets are searched and his sword and pistols taken from him

CHAP. 11I.—The author diverts the emperor and his nobility of both sexes, in a very
uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput described. ‘The author
has his liberty granted him upon certain conditions .

CHAP. IV.—Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the emperor’ s
palace. A conversation between the author and the principal secretary, concerning
the affairs of that empire. The author offers to serve the emperor in his wars . >

CHAP. V.—The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion, A
high title of honour is conferred on him. Ambassadors arrive from the emperor of
Blefuscu and sue for peace. The empress’s apartments on fire by accident: the
author instrumental in saving the rest of the palace.

CHAP. V1.-—Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs, the
manner of educating their children. ‘The author’s way of living in that country.
His vindication ofa great lady.

CHAP. VII.—The author being informed of a design to accuse him of high treason,
makes his escape to Blefuscu, His reception there .

CHAP. VIIT.—-The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave ‘Blefuscu ; * and,
after some difficuities, returns safe to his native country ‘ . .

PART II.

A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

CHAP. I.—A great storn: described, the long-boat sent to fetch water, the author goes
with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by one of the natives,
and carried to a farmer’s house. is reception, with several accidents that happened
there. A description of the inhabitants ‘ . . . : . ° :

CHAP. II.—A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a market
town and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his journey.

CHAP. I1I.—The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his ‘master the far.
mer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with ‘his majesty’s great scholars,
An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in high favour with the
queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. His ——_ with the
queen’s dwarf .

CHAP. 1V.—The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The
king’s palace, and some account of the metropolis. The author's cg of trav oo
The chief temple described .

CITAP. V.—Several adventures that happened to the author. The execution of a
criminal, The author shows his skillin navigation .

CHAP. VI.—Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen ; he
shows his skill in music. ‘The king inquires into the state of England, which the
author relates to him. The king’s observations thereon.

CHAP. VII.—The author’s love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advan-
tage to the king, which is rejected. The king’s great ignorance in politics. ‘Ihe
learning, of that country very ETERS and confined. ‘Ihe laws and military affairs,
and parties in the state ‘

CHAP. VIII.—The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. ‘The author
attend them. The manner in which he leaves the country age particularly related.
He returns to England °

" PART Il.

A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, &c.

CHAP. I.—The author sets out on his third voyage, is taken by pirates. The malice
ofa Dutchman. His arrival at an island He is received into Laputa 4 i

CHAP. II.—The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account of

their learning. Of the king and his court. The author’s reception there. ‘The in-

habitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An account of the women 3

12

22

3¢

42
52

61

69
82

88

99
104

148
CONTENTS.
PAGE,
CHAP. IIf.—A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The La-
putians’ great improvements in the latter. The king’s method of suppressing
insurrections . » ° . ° ‘ ‘ ; ‘ ; ° ‘ . ; 156
CHAP. IV.—The author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at the me-
tropolis. A description of the metropolis and the country adjoining. The author
hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation with that lord. ; . 161
CHAP. V.—The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy
largely described. ‘The arts wherein the professors employ themselves _, :
CHAP. VI.—A further account of the academy. The author proposes some improve-
ments, which are honourably received . ‘ i ; . ‘ ; M . 174
CHAP. VII.—The author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready.
He takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the governor . ' . 180
CHAP. VIIL—A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history
corrected , ’ ’ ; ‘ ; ‘ ‘ 5 3 r é ; *
CHAP. 1X.—The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnageg.
The author confined. He is sent for to court. The manner of his admittance. The
king’s great lenity to his subjects. . 2th : : . ° >. te ae
CHAP. X.—The Luggnaggians commended.—A particular description of the Struld-
brugs, with many conversations between the author and some eminent persons upon
that subject . . . < ° 3 . ‘ ‘ : ; 4 .
CHAP. XI. —The author leaves Luggnagg and sails to Japan. From thence he returns
in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England 4 : i . 203

PART IV.

A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS,

CHAP. I.—The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against him,
confine him a long time to his cabin. Set him on shore in an unknown land. He
travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange sort of animal, described. The
author meets two Houyhnhnms ‘ ; : ° ‘ : ‘ , :

CHAP. II.—The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house
described. The author’s reception. ‘The food of the Houyhnhnms. The author in
distress for want of meat, is at last relieved. His manner of feeding in this country . 225

CHAP. IlI.—The author studies to learn the language; the Houyhnhnm, his master,
assists in teaching him the language described. Several Houyhnhnms of quality come
out of curiosity to see the author. He gives his master a short account of his voyage. 231

CHAP. 1V.—The Houyhnhnm’s notion of truth and falsehood. The author’s discourse
disapproved by his master. ‘I'he author gives a more particular account of himself,
and the accidents of his voyage ; ‘ : : ; : ; ‘ ; ;

CHAP. V.—The author, at his master’s command, informs him of the state of England.
The causes of war among the princes of Europe. ‘The author begins to explain the

167

185

218

237

English constitution . ; : ce 3%% : ° ‘ s . ‘ : . 245
CHAB. VI.—A continuation of the state of England under queen Anne. The character
of a first minister of state in European courts. ° 253

CHAP. VII—The author’s great love to his native country. His master’s observations
upon the constitution and administration of England. as described by the author,
with parallel cases and comparisons. His master’s observations upon human nature . 261

CHAP, VIII—The author relates several particulars of the Yahoos. The great
virtues of the Houyhnhnms. The education and exercise of their youth. Their

eneral assembly. ¢ » : ; . 7 oe ie : ; ; . 269

CHAP. IX.—A grand debate at the general assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it
was determined. The learning of the Houyhnhnms. Their buildings. The number
of burials. ‘The defectiveness of their language . ‘ : - . ; : ‘

CHAP. X.—The author’s economy, and happy life among the Houyhnhnms, His great
improvement in virtue by conversing with them. ‘Their conversations. The author
has notice given him by his master that he must depart from the country. He falls
into a swoon for grief; but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the help of
a fellow servant, and puts to sea at a venture alee oe ° > , : , . 282

CHAP. XI.—The author’s dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping to
settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives. Is seized and carried
by force into a Portuguese ship. The great civilities of the captain. The author
arrives at England . . . ‘ : ‘ : ’ ‘ ° ° ° . 290

CHAP. XI1.—The author’s veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censure
of those travellers who swerve from the truth. he author clears himself from any
sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The method of planting colonies.
His native country commended. The right of the crown to those countries described
by the author, is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The author takes
his last leave of the reader: proposes his manner of living for the future: gives good
advice and concludes . . . . a a eee ee Se 298

277
BIOGRAPHICAL NOTICE

OF THE

LIFE OF JONATHAN SWIFT,

DEAN OF ST. PATRICK’S.





i OW Jonathan Swift merited the praises, or deserved
Wes the censure of posterity, let the record of his life
» and doings, carefully set forth by his biographers,
decide.

Every age and country has produced its wits and
satirists ; every phase of social and political existence
has been observed by historians and philosophers,—
yet never was there, in any time or land, a man pos-
sessed of such rich intellectual gifts, whose attain-
ments produced more brilliant results or less real
good, than he whose life we are about to pourtray.

) Nevertheless, the history of this celebrated man is replete with
instruction and encouragement to literary aspirants; and, while
we admire the industry, perseverance, and talent of Swift, the
records of his doings teach us to avoid the perils that attend the abandon-
ment of principle, and hold out a warning example of the misery result-
ing from a too loose rein upon the passions.

Born in obscurity, and almost in want—educated by the charity of rela-
tions—sent: from his university with no honour, nay, almost disgrace—
patronised by a statesman with no influence, and yet of an exacting and
supercilious disposition, the early years of Swift exhibit little else than the
humiliation of genius and the sickness of heart which arises from hope de-
ferred. Nevertheless, by a steady perseverance in the path he had chosen,
and by an honourable exertion of talent, he won fer himself a name and
position, and at a remarkable crisis was patronised, caressed, and
honoured by the leading men of all parties. At the moment when Swift
was at the zenith of his influence, when fortune and power seemed to
be lying at his feet, the whigs, his patrons, lost the favour of the queen
and the confidence of the people; and he at once went over to the tories.
His wit and talents were now employed to assail his former friends,

30
ll LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

whose warm supporter he had been, with all the rancour of a renegade.
Though politically powerful he was morally weak; and his patrons, while
they feared, detested him; and in his new position it was his fate to be
dreaded by both parties in the state, while he was respected by few and
loved by none. if the reign of Anne nobility and wit shared the public
influence and applause ; and the pens of Addison and Swift were no less valu-
able to their party than the sword of Marlborough ; and Bolingbroke him-
self contributed no little by his writings to the efficient support of his failing
cabinet. The tories beguiled Swift with promises of preferment; and at last,
when his support was no longer necessary, though he expected at least a
bishopric, shelved him with the deanery of St. Patrick’s; and, eventually,
when they were themselves removed from power, their ct-devant apologist
appeared to be consigned to hopeless oblivion and neglect. The private lita
ot Swift was no less extraordinary ; and it will be our task in the follow-
ing pages to show that, while he was the cause of unhappiness and misery to
at least two beautiful and accomplished women, he was incapable of feeling
the passion of love in anything but its grossness, or the sentiment of friend-
ship in aught but its exacting and selfish spirit. Miserable himself from
the indulgence of a false philosophy and a disappointed ambition, he caused
those he esteemed to share his unhappiness; and while indulging in misan-
thropy and spleen, private life gave the dean no consolation for the failure
of his hopes m public life: if at one time his genius rose superior to mis-
fortune, at another he proved too certainly that fame can only be achieved
by a steady and consistent course of exertion. His whole life teaches the
efact that political influence is valueless when not beneficially exerted, and
that the applause of crowds brings no solid comfort or enduring happiness
unless shared with the approval of the silent monitor within.

Jonathan Swift was born in Dublin on the 30th day of November, m
the year 1667. He was sometimes heard to say that he was an English-
man, and that he was brought over to Ireland in a bandbox; and he once
seriously asserted to Pope that he was born in England. At a later period
he used to point out the house in Dublin in which he was born. This incon-
sistency can hardly be called an eccentricity of genius. It merely amounts
to this, that Swift told a very foolish untruth, the motive for which is not
now discoverable. He was descended from a younger branch of the Switt
family in the county of York. His father was the sixth son of the Rev.
Thomas Swift, vicar of Goderich, and was bred to the profession of the law.
The extensive confiscations in Ireland consequent to the civil wars in 1641,
and afterwards ratified by the acts of settlement and explanation, had
transferred an immense amount of Irish property to English companies
and landowners, who were compelled to employ agents in the management
of their estates. These agencies were very lucrative; they laid the founda-
tion of many families, such as the Beresfords, which have since been added

to the ranks of the nobility. The father of Jonathan, through the interest ~

of seme one of his family connexions, obtained one of these profitable em-
ployments, and removed to Dublin; but ere he could derive much advan-
tage from the occupation he died, leaving his widow with a very slender pro-
vision,~ ‘he posthumous child, Jonathan Swift, thus deprived of a father’s

er Ley Les
LIFE CF DEAN SWIFT. iil

tenderness and watchful care before his birth, first saw the light in a small
house in Holey’s Court, Dublin, which is still shown by the residents in the
neighbourhood. Towards the end of his life, it is said that Swift observed
the anniversary of his birth as a day of fasting and prayer, never failing to
read the third chapter of the book of Job on each return of that eventful
day. Richard Brennan, his servant, in whose arms he expired, says that
one of the few lucid intervals which he experienced during his long and
fatal malady was a faint consciousness of his birthday, which he showed by
frequently repeating, when it came round,— Let the day perish wherein [
was born, and the night in which it was said, there is a man-child conceived.”
His mother was supported by her brother-in-law, Goodwin Swift, who
undertook the education of his nephew; but while yet an infant a singular
accident for a time removed him from the care of his uncle and mother. His
nurse was a native of Whitehaven; and on the death of a relative, it being
necessary she should visit England to receive a small legacy, she being
fondly attached to the child, stole him away from his mother and took him
with her across the channel. His delicate health and other concurrent cir-
cumstances prevented his being sent back for more than three years. Upon
his return to his mother, it appeared that his nurse had taken extraordinary
care of his education, for though not yet five years old he could read and
spell with tolerable correctness.

He was so docilea child, that at six years of age he could read any chapter
in the Bible. About that age he was sent to Kilkenny School, a collegiate
establishment founded by the Ormond family, and reckoned the best in that
city. A desk is still shown whereon he had carved his name. Here he
remained eight years, and was entered in Trinity College, Dublin, as a pen-
sioner under Sir George Ashe, on the 20th of April, 1682. His cousin,
Thomas Swift, was entered at the same time; and the two Swifts appearing
on the register at the same period, without their Christian names, has caused
some confusion, which, however, has been in a great measure dispelled by
the researches of the late Dr. Barratt, who, with admirable skill and exem-
plary patience, has traced Swift’s academic career, with a view to show that
much of the disgrace said to have been attached to his name was in reality
the result of extraneous circumstances, rather than to any inherent vice in
the lad himself. It seem® that his sense of dependence on the bounty of
his uncle was so constant and acute, as to affect him in his studies and retard
his progress; for, after the usual course of study, he was refused his degree
of Batchelor, of Arts, and only eventually obtained it by “special favour,”
aterm used in Dublin to designate a want of merit. This had the effect
of making him study for eight hours a diy for seven years after, in order to
redeem himself. This, if 1t be true, showed very extraordinary resolution,
but it is hardly probable that any man could rigidly adhere, for so long a
period, and spite of accidents and the temptations of pleasure, to so severe
a discipline. Swift remained three years longer a student in the university,
and formed one of a clique remarkable for their irregularities and breaches
of college discipline. Their thorough contempt of all order brought
them under the censure of the heads of the university, which they resented
py lampoons of more bitterness than wit. For a repeated series of these
offences, Swift and a college chum, of thename of George Finglas, were
abliged to ask pardon on their knees of Dr. Allen, the dean; this degra-
dation was never forgiven or forgotten by Swift, for, more than twenty years
eS

lv LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

afterwards, we find the name of Dr. Allen introduced into a philippie which
Swift addressed to Lord Berkeley during his Ivish administration. It was
while a student at Dublin, that Swift commenced his celebrated ‘“ Tale of a
Tub.” He showed his first sketch to Mr. Waring, a fellow-stndent, a gentle-
man with whose family he at one time intended to form a tender connexion.
He became acquainted. with Miss Waring, and either formed or fancied an |
attachment which circumstances prevented his disclosing at that period.

At the age of twenty-one, he was thrown on his own resources by the
death of his uncle; but another uncle, Dryden William Swift, though he
had not much to bestow, assisted him, the benevolence of his manners en-
hancing the vaiue of his gifts. The son of this kind uncle, Willoughby
Swift, was a Lisbon merchant, and generously contributed to the support of
his cousin. Many years afterwards, the Dean used to relate a curious inci
dent in his college life, of which Willoughby was the hero, with much
warmth of feeling and grateful remembrance. He was one day musing
despondingly in his rooms, his eyes fixe’ on the future, and gloomily con-
trasting it with his present condition—w .n empty purse, scanty library, and
naked board—when his attention was aroused by a noise in the court-yard
below ; on looking out, he saw a foreign-looking sailor making inquiries for
some one, and apparently perplexed at the waggeries of the students, for
which they were famous. It suddenly occurred to Swift that it might be
a messenger from his cousin Willoughby; he hastened down, and soon
found his anticipations correct. The stranger came up with him to his
room, produced a long purse, and presented it as a present from his cousin,
refusing to accept any part of its contents as a reward for his trouble.

From the most reckless extravagance, Swift became almost parsimonious,
when in the possession of’ a little more than he had been accustomed to—a
character he maintained to the end of his life. Upon leaving college, he
was advised by his mother to make known his condition to Sir William
Temple, to whom she was distantly related. He did so, and that gentleman
received him into his house with the greatest kindness.

Temple was a man of literary genius and of great experience in the
world. He had often been sent as ambassador to Holland, and had in
many signal instances proved himself an able diplomatist. It is not likely
that the youth, and consequently crude notions, of Swiftcould be very accept-
able to the private hours of such a man. : He was, therefore, master of a
good deal of his time, which he employed in studying and writing poetry.
He read Cyprian Irenzeus and the works of John Sleidanus, a great lawyer
of the age of the Emperor Charles V. He produced a few Pindaric odes,
but Swift’s mind was wholly destitute of poetic feeling, and it is not wonder-
ful that his attempts in a high and difficult department of the poetic art were
miserable failures. Dryden, on seeing his pieces, told him as much,
“ Cousin Swift,” said he, with more candour than politeness, “ you will never
be a poet.” This honest and well-founded opinion was repaid by a hatred
which never ceased, even when Dryden was in his grave.

As might be supposed, Temple at last began to appreciate the talents ot
his humble guest, as time and good society gave them ease and polish. He
gradually admitted him into familiarity and confidence. King William had
a just sense of Temple’s upright statesmanship, and was accustomed to visit
him at his house, in order to confer with him on the affairs of the country.
Swift was allowed to be present at these conferences; and on one or two
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. Vv

occasions, when the king was disappointed at not seeing Temple, who was
frequently confined to his bed with the gout, he acted as the substitute of
bis patron. The king taught Swift how to cut asparagus in the Dutch way,
and offered him a captaincy of horse, which, however, he refused, as he had
views in the church; and the king afterwards promised him a prebend.
Scon after, Sir William removed to an estate in Surrey, called Moor Park,
where Swift received his initiation into public business. The Earl of Port-
land had been despatched by the king to Moor Park, in order to receive
‘Lemple’s advice as to a bill for triennial parliaments, then pending in the
House of Commons. Neither the earl nor his master, who were both fo-
reigners, were very well acquainted with the English constitution, and they
had been persuaded that the measure was very dangerous. All Temple’s
explanations were of no force; the earl still continued frightened. Swift
was then despatched to the king with a written explanation of the whole
matter. He presented the paper, and supported it with all his knowledge
of English history ; but so little to the king’s satisfaction were the arguments
adduced, that he used all his influence to suppress the bill, and it was accord-
ingly negatived. Swift often said that his ill-success in this piece of business
was the first thing that cured him of vanity. This may be reasonably
doubted by any one who has read his letters to Pope and Gay, or observed
the various allusions to his own importance which occur in his works.

Swift, ashamed of his disappointment of academical honours at Dublin
university, applied at Oxford for a master’s degree. This he obtained
in 1692, and immediately began to press his patron fora settlement. They
disagreed ; and Swift pettishly left Moor Park for Ireland, where he intended
to take orders. After a lapse of some time, having been meanwhile strongly
recommended by Sir William, he obtained the small prebend of Kilroot in
the diocese of Connor, then worth more than ahundred a year. About this
time he appears to have renewed his acquaintance with Miss Waring, whom
he designated by the affected name of Varina. The courtship, as far as it
can be traced, appears to have been supremely ridiculous. While the lady
was cold and reserved, the lover was to the last degree impetuous and full of
passion; and when at iast the poor girl surrendered at discretion, his ardour
as suddenly cooled, and his warm epistles to Varina were changed into
formal letters to Miss Jane Waring, in which all her former objections to the
match were studiously recapitulated, besides hinting in most unmistakeable
terms, that the adoring lover would make but a reluctant bridegroom.
Miss Waring, with a proper degree of spirit, immediately broke off all inter-
course with the faithless Jonathan, and left him free to try his arts on a more
unfortunate victim. ‘The duties of a country clergyman soon became dull,
when he remembered in what splendour he had passed his hours with the
distinguished scholar and statesman, whose house was the resort of such
men as Dryden and Congreve. Besides this, Swift had other reasons for
wishing to leave Kilroot. He is said to have been charged with a liavson
with a farmer’s daughter, who had more beauty than virtue, from the effects
of which he only escaped by handsomely remunerating her friends. A re-
conciliation between Swift and his patron soon took place, and Swift returned
to England. Temple, on this occasion, treated him with great consideration,
and made him his confidential secretary. Swiit must have learned much
valuable political knowledge from the conversations of' a statesman who had
figured in public life sce 1661. In the midst of his business of secre-
vi LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

tary, revising Temple’s works, and finishing his own ‘¢ Tale of a Tub,” he found
leisure to pay attention toa beautiful young lady, Esther Johnston, daughter
of Sir William's steward, better known by the poetic name of Stella. From
this period may be dated all the misery of his future career. The best
account of this unfortunate lady is to be found ina letter to Mr. G. M.
Berkeley, by her niece, Mrs. Hearn, which is published by that gentleman
in his very interesting volume of “ Literary Relics :’’—

“Mrs. Esther Johnston, better known by the name of Stella, was horn at,
Richmond, in Surrey, on the 13th of March, 1681. Her father was a mer-
chant, and the younger brother of a good family in Nottinghamshire. He
died young, and left his widow with three children—a son and two daughters.
Whilst Mrs. Johnston lived at Richmond, she had the happiness of becoming
first acquainted with Lady Gifford, the sister of Sir William Temple. ‘The
uncommon endowments, both of body and mind, which Mrs. Johnston cer-
tainly possessed in a high degree, soon gained her not only the esteem, but
the warm friendship of that excellent lady, a friendship which lasted till
death. As they seldom were apart, and Lady Gifford lived much with her
brother, Sir William, it was through her that Mrs. Johnston and her two
daughters (her son dying young) were brought to the knowledge and friend-
ship of Sir William ‘temple and his lady; who discovering so many excel.
lences and such fine parts in the little Hetty, as she was always called in the
Temple family, so far took upon themselves the care of her education as to
bring her up with their own niece, the late Mrs. Temple, of Moor Park,
by Farnham; a most acceptable piece of kindness and friendship this to the
mother, whose little portion had been greatly injured by the South Sea
Bubbles; and here it was that Dean Swift first became acquainted with
Stella, and commenced that attachment which terminated in their marriage.
The cause why that marriage was not owned to the world has never been
thoroughly explained. It is the opinion, however, of her own family, that
their finances not being equal to the style in which the dean wished to move
as a married man, could be the only one; Stella’s own fortune being only
£1500, £1000 of which, as a further mark of friendship, was left her by
Sir William Temple himself. It was Dean Swift's wish at last to have
owned his marriage; but finding herself declining very fast, Stella did not
choose to alter her mode of life; and besides, she fully intended coming over
to England to her mother.”

It has been asserted by the apologists of Swift that he intended this affair
merely as an innocent flirtation; but unfortunately, the poor girl soon enter-
tained an affection for him, which was extinguished only with her life. It
is plain that Swift never loved her; and it may be questioned whether he
ever felt real love or friendship for any one. He had no idea of love (in its
most exalted sense) or indeed of any other elevating feeling, and his insensi-
bility in this respect has been mentioned as an excuse for his treatment
of Stella. But it is a poor apology, even although it could be readily re«
pelled by the consideration that if his heart was unsympathetic, his judg-
ment, which was clear enough, might have pointed out to him the criminality
of his conduct.

An excellent opportunity for the display of his satirical talent was
opened to him in 1697 by the famous controversy on the respece
tive merits of ancient and modern learning. In 1694, William Wotton, a
precocious young man, published, ‘“ Reflections on Ancient and Modern
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. vil

Yearning.” This book was nothing but a learned reflex of the injudicieus
criticisms of an obscure French writer of the name of Charles Permault,
who decried the ancient authors with but smal] discernment. It was an-
swered by Sir William Temple, who unluckily advanced the merits of the
Epistles of Phalaris. A reply to Temple was published soon after, to which
was appended a “ Dissertation on Phalaris.” The reply was by Wotton,
and the dissertation by the famous Bentley, a man who was undervalued in
his own day, but who now possesses an Huropean eee as one of the
founders of the philosophical philology. He proved the epistles to be spuri-
ous, and Wotton handled Temple’s production with great severity. Swift,
eager to try his own powers, and to defend his patron, wrote ‘The Battle
of the Books.” It was, however, only handed about in MS. and not pub-
lished until after Temple’s death. ‘Temple died in 1699, leaving, besides
a considerable sum of money, his MSS. to the care of Swift, who shortly
afterwards published them with a dedication to king William. But neither
the dedication, nor a petition which he forwarded reminding the king of his
promise of a prebend, received any notice. After dangling some time in
the ante-chamber of St. James’s he retired, highly disgusted with his disap-
pointment. The treatment he experienced was certainly far from that which
he had a right to expect, for he had the promise of the king himself, and was
wellknown tohim. Swift himself said afterwards that he believed the king
never saw the petition; and this is very probable, for he had too much re.
gard for Temple not to have taken notice of Swift. The dean had to thank
the courtiers for the first of those disappointments which soon filled a mind
-aturally harsh with the bitterest misanthropy. ‘Ihe sense of this misfor-
sune had not worn off, when he had to endure another, The earl of Berkeley
was appointed one of the Lords Justices of Ireland, and Swift was invited to
be his chaplain and private secretary. He accordingly attended the earl on
nis journey to Ireland in those capacities. A person named Bushe, however,
contrived to supplant him in the post of secretary, having succeeded, it
seems, in convincing the earl that it was not an office fit for a clergy-
man. In order to soothe Swift’s just resentment, Berkeley promised him
the first good vacancy in the church that was in his gift. The deanery of
Derry shortly falling vacant Swift confidently applied, ‘and he was very
coolly told by Bushe that he must pay down £1000 for it. “ God confound
thee both for a couple of scoundrels !” cried the enraged suitor, and im-
mediately left the castle. The earl, who was afterwards ashamed of his
conduct, or was probably afraid to offend a man of Swift’s satirical talents,
in a short time a a him with two poor livings, Laracor and Bathbeggin,
amounting in all to about £230 per annum. At Laracor he increased his
parochial duties by reading prayers on Wednesdays and Fridays ; as this was
unovelty, few of the parishioners attended ; and on one occasion Roger, the
clerk, formed the entire congregation. Swift, no way dismayed, immediately
commenced the service—* Dearly beloved Roger, the Scripture moveth you
and me in sundry places,” &c., and so went through the complete service.
Notwithstanding this, and other equally irreverent matters noticed by his
biographers, which need not be mentioned here, he generally performed his
duties with much exactness and decorum.
When Swift settled in his livings at Laracor Stella was in England; and
it is probable that time, absence, and new faces would have produced their
usual effects; and that, by an union with a man who was capable of returning
Vill LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

her affection, she might have been reserved for a happier lot than that which
was preparing for her. ‘The invitation which she now received from Swiit
tu come to Ireland, and take up her abode near him, was the crisis of their
unhappy connexion. Had she resolutely refused—but, alas! a woman’s judy-
went is rarely a natch for her love, and she could not forsee her miserable tate.
In the strength of her faith, poor Stella accepted the invitation, and joytully
departed for Ireland. But Swift longed for the bustle of political lite. He
visited England at least once a year, to enter for a short time personally into
the politics of the day, to give to the public a. political pamphlet, and to
gratify himself with the company of the wits of Will’s and Button’s. Of the
many eminent men who frequented these coffee-houses, his acquaintance
with Addison seems to have been the most intimate.

In this manner, alternately enjoying the society of Stella at Laracor and
the scenes of political warfare in London, did Swift pass his life till the year
1718, when he received the deanery of St. Patrick’s as a reward for his
political tergiversation.

It would be very difficult, and not very entertaining, to explain the politi-
cal opinions of Swift, to any one not acquainted with a requisite knowledge
of the great questions which agitated society in his day. They were founded
on the mere ephemeral questions of the time, irrespective of their bearings on
the general principles of human nature. Swift was altogether a party man,
a party writer, and what is more, a party thinker; hence it is, that his
»olitical pamphlets disappoint those who read them with the expectation of
tracing anything of the fame which attended their first publication. Even
to the well-informed in history, it is difficult to appreciate the true bearing
of political opinions long exploded, or which have vanished with the questions
which gave them rise. The age of Anne is not very far distant from our time,
but its spirit is entirely lost in the present day. ‘The lapse of years gradually
evolves new elements of power and opinion, and thus works. both in the
moral and physical worlds, a slow but constant revolution. From his ac-
quaintance with Sir William Temple, Swift had contracted, in common with
almost all the politicians of his time, a great admiration for the reyolution
of 1688. Both the tories and the whigs united in expelling James from the
throne; but the motives of the last were entirely different from those of
the first: the tories were alarmed for the cliurch; the whigs for the civil
institutions of the country. A tory, in the time of William and Mary, was
one who allowed the sovereign an extensive prerogative in all but church
affairs, and hated dissenters: a whig was one who advocated a limited and
strictly defined royal prerogative, and was inclined to favour the dissenters,
Swift was always a tory; but as the church was the touchstone of' his party,
he did not scruple to identify himself with the whigs, while they were in
power, and did not flagrantly invade its privileges. His first political
pamphlet was in favour of the whigs; it was entitled, “ A Discourse on the
Dissensions in Athens and Rome.’ If anything like this were to be pub-
lished now, it would not be noticed ; the very first sentence was nonsense.
The standard of literary merit was not nearly so high then as the vast accn-
mulation of eminent writers has since made it, and so Swift received en-
couragement from the whigs. 3

In 1704 was publisked his ‘‘ Tale of a Tub,” one of the few brilliant |
efforts of his wit. It was printed anonymously, but Swift was immediately
pointed out as the author. Ht raised a great outcry against him, and indeed
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. 1X

very justly, for the language of the satire is often such as could not be used
with propriety by a clergyman; even the oaths of lord Peter, which give
such piquancy to the character, come strangely from such a quarter.

In the former reign Swift had made for himself man y enemies and few
fricnds by his violent opposition to the court party. William III. though

























































ETAT

much admired for his great bravery, never secured the love of his people,
and the secret of Swilt’s dislike to him has been attributed to his endeavours
to coerce the parliament in which the satirist held no place.

_ In 1708, were published “ The Sentiments of a Church of England Man,”
the “ Letter on the Sacramental Test,” and a few smaller pamphlets.
Soon after, he wrote a ‘ Project for the Advancement of Religion,’ and
‘ Argument against Abolishing Christianity.” The last is a legitimate off-
spring of Swift’s wit. It is a piece of cruel irony on the infidels and free-
thinkers of that day. ‘The rest are tiresome productions to a reader of these
times, and now and then a little silly. Asa specimen of the style of his
smaller productions we give a sample from a MS. work which was carried
on by the students of Trinity College, called ‘‘ The Whimsical Medley,”
for which we are indebted to the indefatigable industry of Dr. Barratt,
it being undoubtedly from the pen of Swift.

36
a LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

ON JANUARY 30th.
Janus, you usher in a thing,
Strange and new,—a martyr’d king.
Your altar who would worship more?
Who takes delight in royal gore?
And with a monarch’s sacred head,
Will paint your calendar in red?
Sure you dispatch’d your work in haste,
Before another day was past,
For fear the mischief should be o’er,
Had you but stayed to shut your door.
How well does Janus represent
Fanatics in a government,
Jealous of every prying eye,
Close and conceal’d in peace tley lie,
But when the din of war they hear,
Both quickly open and appear ;
Both seem for peace, both thirst for blood,
Both wear two faces under one hood.

About this time Swift was employed in some important. ecclesiastical
business by archbishop King, primate of Ireland, which gave him an intro-
duction to Harley, one of the leaders of the tory party. He began to be
doubtful of the intentions of the whigs to serve him, and he readily listened
to the overtures of Harley. Accordingly, on his next visit to England, in
the year 1710, he broke eff all connexion with the whigs, who were then
falling ; and when Harley and St, John ultimately triumphed, he completely
identified himself with the tory party. They soon appreciated Swift's
talents for that sort of political writing which is adapted to the greatest
possible number of readers, and secured him by their attentions and_pro-
mises. Swift was delighted. Writing to Stella, he says:—“ Mr. Harley
is so excessively obliging that I know not what to make of it, unless to show
the rascals of the other party that they used a man unworthily who deserved
better. He speaks all the kind things in the world tome.” And again:
‘‘T stand with the new people ten times better than I did with the old, and
forty times more caressing.”

With great hopes he immediately wrote for his new patrons, and re-
ceived the management of a periodical paper, called the “* Examiner,” which
had been originated by St. John, Atterbury, and Prior. Swift's first paper
is in No. 13, and the very first page shows the hireling spirit of its writer.
All Swift’s numbers are written with great spirit, and must have been
well adapted, by their style and affectation of temper, to gain proselytes to
the new administration. Many of the articles may be perused with in-
terest even in the present day. One, on political lying, is a piquant paper
on that fertile subject. His attacks on public men were very serviceable to
his patrons, and those especially on Marlborough and Wharton, are in the
highest degree forcible and relentless.

It may be easily supposed that Swift’s ambition rose with the value which
the ministers set upon his services. Shrewd as he was, his vanity must
have assisted his judgment to estimate this value, for it is plain he thought
that nothing but a bishopric would be equivalent to the servives he hal
rendered. Filled with this sense of his present importance and future
elovation, he affected a foolish equality with Harley and St. John. These
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT, xi

statesman saw his eccentric character, and humoured it for the sake of his
ee But the impudent familiarity with which he often treated them must
iave given them no small dislike to their strange supporter. Probably this
is the reason why Swift never obtained a bishopric. Both Harley and St.
John were men of taste in literature; and no doubt, as such, found
some enjoyment in the society of Swift. But it is not to be supposed that
they were so indiscreet as to admit a mere party writer, like Swilt, to any
confidence in public matters of the slightest delicacy or importance; it is
enough to suppose that they explained to him such ends as he was to forward
with his pen. ‘That it was difficult to impose on Swift’s sagacity may be
readily conceived; but abler men than he have been used by statesmen,
and such were Harley and St. Jolin as far as mere abilities were concerned.
It is one of the most ordinary accomplishments of a courtier to be able to
deceive with a child-like simplicity.

“The conduct of the allies,’ appearcd in 1711, and created a sensation
not to be paralleled in the history of pamphleteering. Four editions were
printed in a week. In this performance Swift: very clearly explained to the
nation the true state of its affairs on the continent ; and advocated peace, on
the attainment of which, indeed, the safety of the ministers depended. This
pamphlet greatly influenced the subsequent divisions in the House of Com-
mons; indeed, the ministerial speechés and resolutions consisted almost
wholly of quotations. from it. On the whole, it is written with clearness in
the details, though the parts are badly put together; and it cannot be ques-
tioned but that Swift’s arguments favoured the true interests of the country.

Next, year he published a “ Proposal for correcting, improving, and as-
certaining the English tongue.’ Dr. Johnson, an excellent authority in
such matters, says, “that it is written without much knowledge of the
general nature of languages, and without any.-accurate inquiry into the
history of other tongues. ‘The certainty and stability, which, contrary to all
experience, he thinks attainable, he proposes’ to secure by instituting an
academy; the decrees of which every man would have been willing, and
many would have been proud, to disobey; and which, being renewed by
successive elections, would, in a short time, have differed from itself.””

After his successful efforts in their favour, Swift began to press the
ministers for preferment. They put him off from time to time with pro-
mises, and magnified the difficulty of obtaining for him any considerable ad-
vancement, on the ground of queen Anne’s prejudice against the author of
the “Tale of a Tub’? They amused him so long with hopes and_protesta-
tions, that he became justly alarmed for his prospects. Speaking of tlie
civilities of Harley, now earl of Oxford, he says, in his “ Journal to Stella,”
—“26th December, 1712. I dined with the lord treasurer, who chid me
for being absent three days. Mighty kind, less of civility and more of in-
terest. * * * My grandfather used to say

‘More of your lining,
And less of your dining.”

It ultimately became obvious to the ministers that they must either preter
Swift or make him their enemy. They were too well acquainted with the
force of his satire as exemplified in his onsets against Marlborough and
Wharton to choose the latter: they therefore conferred upon him the cele-
x1 LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

brated deanery of St. Patrick’s. His appointment was, however, by no means
popular in Ireland, and on the day appointed for his installation the follow-
inv verses, by Dr. Smedley, dean of Ferns, were found posted on the gates
of the cathedral :—

“To day this temple gets a Dean,
Of parts and fame uncommon ;
Used both to pray and to prophane,
‘Yo serve both God and mammon.

“When Wharton reign’d a whig he was;
When Pembroke, that’s dispute sir,
In Oxford’s time what Oxford pleased,
Nen-con., or Jack, or Neuter.

“« This place he got by wit and rhyme,
And many ways most odd;
And might a bishop be in time,
Did he believe in Gad.

“For high-churchmen and policy,
He swears he prays most hearty;
But would pray back again, would be
A Dean of any party.

** Four lessons, Dean! all in one day,
Faith! it is hard, that’s certain ;
*Iwere better hear thy own Peter say
God damn you Jack and Martin.

“Hard to be plagued with Bible still
And Prayer-book before thee ;
Hadst thou not time to think at will,
Of some diverting story.

“ Look down, St. Patrick! look, we pray
On thine own church and steeple;
Convert thy Dean on this great day,
Or else, God help the people !

““ And now whene’er his Deanship dies,
Upon his tomb be graven—
A man of God here buried lies,
Who never thought of heaven.”

In the midst of his political labours in England, and while he was regu-
larly transmitting to Stella the diary of his daily actions, he had cultivated
the acquaintance till he had won the heart of Miss Vanhomrigh, another
beautiful young lady, who was entirely ignorant of his connexion with Stella,
and whose fate was at last rendered as unhappy as hers, becanse the cruel
object of their common passion seemed to be destitute of common honesty
and feeling.

It was, to say the least of it, highly dishononrable in Swift to invite
Stella to Ireland, knowing the state of her feelings towards him, if he did
not intend to marry her. It was still more dishonourable in him to throw
obstacles, wliich he knew would be insurmountable, in the way of her union
TIPE OF DEAN SWIFT. xiii.

with a worthy gentleman to whom her only objection was that it might pre-
vent her from ever being united to the man to whom she had been so long
constant. His attentions to Vanessa, by which poetical name he designated.
the unfortunate Miss Vanhomrigh, show not only how destitute he was of
sympathy with the sensibilities of women, but how careless he was of pre-
serving honourable conduct, for his eyes must have been open to the nature
of his intimacy with the absent Stella. Considered in the light of his con-
duct to these two women, the poem of ‘‘ Cadenus and Vanessa”? is a heart-
less piece of raillery. It was written shortly after Vanessa had, after a
severe struggle, disclosed to him the state of her affections. His intention
in this poem it would be hard to divine, unless it be allowable to conjecture
that he merely wished to flatter her—to leave her unsatisfied yet pleased—
and thus to be an example of a hateful male coquetry,—hateful because of
its destructive effects.

As a further specimen of Swift’s satirical powers we transcribe a poem,
very little known, which made a great sensation on its appearance in
1710 :—

“The famous speech-maker of England, or Baron, (alias Barren,) Lovel’s
Charge at the Assizes at Exon, April 5th 1710.*

RIsuM TENEATIS?

From London to Exon,

By special direction,

Came down the world’s wonder,

Sir Salathiel Blunder,

With a quoif on his head

As heavy as lead;

And thus opened and said :

Gentlemen of the grand inquest.

Her Majesty, mark it,

Appointed this c*rcuit,

For me and my brother,

Before any other ;

To execute laws,

As you may suppose,

Upon such as offenders have been ;

So then, not to scatter,
More words on the matter.
We’re beginning just now to begin.

But hold—first and foremost, I must enter aclause,
As touching and concerning our excellent laws ;

Which, here I aver,

Are better by far
Than them all put together abroad and beyond sea:
For I ne’er read the like nor e’er shall I fancy.

The laws of our land

Don’t abet, but withstand,

Inquisition and thrall,

And whatever may gall,

And fire withal ;

* See the original charge in the Examiner, No. 1. p. 55.—Sir Salathiel Lovel
died May 3, 1717.
Kiv LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

- And sword that devours
Wherever it scowers:
They preserve tiberty and property, for which men pull and haul so,
And they are made for the support of good government also.

Her Majesty, knowing
The best way of going
To work for the weal of the nation,
Builds on that roek, ©
Which all storms will mock,
Since religion is made the foundation.
And, I tell you to boot, she
Resolves resolutely,
No promotion to give
‘T’o the best man alive,
In church or in state,
(I’m an instance of that,)
But only to such of a good reputation
For temper, morality and moderation,
Fire! Fire! a wild-fire,*
® * * * * *
Which greatly disturbs the Queen’s peace,
Lies running about;
And if you don’t put it out,
(That’s positive) will increase
And any may spy,
With half of an eye,
That it comes from our priests and papistical fry
Ye have one of these fellows,
With fiery bellows,
Come hither to blow and to puff here:
Who having been toss’d
From pillow to post,
At last vents his rascally stuff here ;
Which to such as are honest must sound very oddly,
When they ought to preach nothing but what’s very godly ;
As here from this place we charge you to do,
As ye’ll answer to man beside ye know who.
Ye have a diocesan,t
But I don’t know the man;
They tell me, however,
The man’s a good liver,
And fiery never!
Now ye under-pullers,
That wear such black colours,
How well would it look,
If his measures ye took,
‘hus for head and for rump
Together to jump ;
For there’s none deserve places,
I speak’t to their faces,
But men of such graces,
And I hope he will never prefer any asses :
* A line seems to be wanting here.
+ Doctor Offspring Blackall,—he was made Bishop of Exeter in 1707, and
died in 1716. He published a volume of sermons in 8yo., 1707; reprinted
with his other works in 2 vols., folio, 1723.
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT xY

ispecially when I’m so confident on’t,
For reasons of state, that her majesty won’t,
Know I myself I
Was present and by,
At the great trial, where there was a great company,
Of a turbulent preacher, who cursedly hot,
Turn’d the fifth of November, even the gunpowder-plot,
Into impudent railing and the devil knows what,
Exclaiming like fury—it was at Paul’s, London,
How church was in danger and like to be undone,
And so gave the lie to gracious Queen Anne;
And, which is far worse to our parliament-men :
And then printed a book,
Into which men did look :
‘True, he made a good text;
But what followed next
Was nought but a dung-hill of sordid abuses,
Instead of sound doctrine, with proofs to’t, and uses.
It was high time of day
That such inflama-
tion should be extinguished without more delay :
But there was no engine could possibly do’t,
Till the commons played theirs, and so quite put it out.
So the man was tried for’t
Before highest court :
Now its plain to be seen,
It’s his principles I mean,
Where they suffer’d this noisy and his lawyers to bellow.
Which over, the blade
A poor punishment bad
For that racket he made.
By which ye may know
They thought as I do,
That he is but at best an inconsiderable fellow.
Upon this I find here,
And every where,
That the country rides rusty, and is x" out of geer.
And for what?
May I not
In opinion vary,
And think the contrary,
But it must create
Unfriendly debate,
And disunion straight ;
When no reason in nature
Can be given of the matter,
Any more than for shapes or for different stature ?
If you love your dear selves, your religion, or queen,
Ye ought in good manners be peaceable men:
For nothing disgusts her
Like making a bluster ;
And your making this riot,
Is what she could cry at,
Since all her concern’s for our welfare and quiet.
I would ask any man
Of them all that maintain
xv) LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

Their passive obedience
With such mighty vehemence,
That damn’d doctrine, I trow!
What he means by it, ho?
Jo trump it up now?
Or to tell me, in short,
What need there is for’t?
Ye may say, I am hot;
I say I am not;
Only warm as the subject on which I am got.
There are those alive yet,
If they do not forget,
May remember what mischief it did church and state;
Or at least must have heard
The deplorable calamities
It drew upon families,
About sixty years ago, and upward.!
And now do ye see,
Whoever they be,
That make such an oration
In our Protestant nation,
As though church was all on a fire,—
With whatever cloak ,
They may cover their talk,
And wheedle the folk,
That the oaths they have took,
As our governors strictly require ;—
I say they are men— (ani I’m a judge, ye all know,)
‘That would our most excellent laws overthrow :
For the greater part of them to church never go;
Or, what’s much the same, it by very great chance is,
If e’er they partake of her wise ordinances.
Their aim is, no doubt,
Where they made to speak out,
To pluck down the queen, that they make all this rout;
And to set up, moreover,
A bastardly brother ;
Or at least to prevent the house of Hanover.
Ye gentlemen of the jury,
What means all this fury,
Of which I’m informed by
Good hands, I assure ye;
This insulting of persons by blows and rude speeches,
And breaking of windows, which you know, maketh breaches.
Ye ought to resent it,
And in duty present if,
For the law is against it;
Not only the actors engaged in this job,
But those that encourage and set on the mob:
The mob, a paw word, and which I ne’er mention,
But must in this place, for the sake of distinction,
I hear that some bailiffs and some justices,
Have strove what they could, all this rage to suppress :
And [ hope many more
Will exert the like power,
Since none will, depend on’t,
Get a jot of preferment,
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT, Xvii

Rut men of this kidney, as I told you before.—
V’ll tell you a story: Once upon a time
Some hot headed fellows must needs take a whim,
And so were so weak,
(Twas a mighty mistake)
To pull down and abuse
Bawdy-houses and stews ;
Who, tried by the laws of the realm for high-treason,
Were hang’d, drawn, and quarter’d, for that very reason.
When the time came about
For us all to set out,
We went to take leave of the queen;
Where were great men of worth,
Great heads, and so forth,
The greatest that ever were seen:
And she gave us a large
And particular charge ;
Good part on’t indeed
Is quite out of my head ;—
But I remember she said,
We should recommend peace and good neighbourhood, where-
Soever we came; and so I do here:
For that every one, not only men and their wives,
Should do all that they can to lead peaceable lives ;
And told us withal, that she fully expected
A special account how ye all stood affected,
When we’ve been at St James’s, you'll hear of the matter.
Again then I charge ye,
Ye men of the clergy,
That ye follow the track all
Of your own Bishop Blackall,
And preach, as ye should,
What’s savoury and good;
And together all cling,
As it were in a string
Not falling out, quarrelling one with another,
Now we’re treating with monsieur,—that son of his mother.

Then proceeded on the common matters of the law ; and concluded :—

Onée more, and no more, since few words are best,
I charge you all present, by way of request,
If ye honour, as I do, ie
Our dear royal widow,
Or have any. compassion
For church or the nation;
And would live a long while
In continual smile,
And eat roast and boil,
And not be forgotten,
When ye are dead and rotten;
That ye would be quiet at peaven bly dell,
And never fall out,

Swift arrived at his deanery in 17138, a miserable man—not with remorse
at having sown the seeds of unhappiness in the hearts of two excellent and
beautiful women, but at not having obtained a bishopric. He writes w

37
S

XV1ll LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

Vanessa, “ At my nrst coming I thought I should have died of discontent,
and was horribly melancholy while they were installing ine, but it begins to
wear off and change to dulness.” In about a fortnight he returned to Eng-
land, for the purpose of endeavouring to keep the ministry together, which
was every day expected to fall in pieces in consequence of the quarrels of
Oxtord and his rival Lord Bolingbroke, formerly St. e These two
statesmen wére peculiarly opposite to each other, both in the nature of their
capacities and dispositions : Oxford was slow, sure and penetrating; Boling-
broke was rapid, sanguine, and adventurous—alternately enjoying signal
triumphs and suffering signal misfortunes. Oxford was cold and reserved ;
Bolingbroke was gay and easy of access. The abilities of Oxford were
adapted both to business and literature, but his versatility was inferior to
that of Bolingbroke, the brilliancy of whose talents was display, not only in
the dexterous management of men, and in fertility of literary thought, but
in a copious and seductive eloquence, and in a philosophy that was more than
superficial. Estimates of abilities are ever influenced by a tacit reference to the
elevation of the sphere in which they shine; but tried by the highest stan-
dard of the statesmanship of their own age, these men will be found pre-emi-
nent. Characters such as these, when contending for superiority, could not
but shatter any ministry; and the efforts of Swift. were, of course, altogether
unavailing. Soon afterwards Oxford was suddenly dismissed: but just as
Bolingbroke had secured the consequences of his triumph, the death of the
queen dissolved his administration, and scattered the leaders of the tory
party. The results of the return of the whigs to power are well known.
‘The whole tory party was laid under ban. Oxford was sent to the Tower,
and Bolingbroke became an exile in France. The ruin of his friends was
the death-blow to Swift’s political life in England. He had published
‘The Public Spirit of the Whigs,” which had the effect of exasperating that
party to such a degree, that they exerted their influence to bring the author
to punishment. ‘They were very nearly successful ; but Swift succeeded,
somehow, in saving himself, not feeling inclined, probably, to relish that spe-
cies of flattery to his talents. When the whigs succeeded to the administra-
tion of the government, Swift was exposed to so many insults from the

dominant party that he retired (if he did not actually flee, as is asserted

in Smollett’s History of England) to his deanery in Dublin.

Vanessa soon followed him, and Stella grew jealous. The health of the
latter had declined in consequence of her keen sense of his neglect, and she
frequently insisted on marriage the only atonement he could make to her
wasted youth and fallen reputation. Swift was at last prevailed on to con-
sent, but only to the outward forms. His intercourse with her continued to
be precisely the same as before. For some years he contrived to conceal his
marriage from the unhappy Vanessa, who refused offer after offer for his
sake; but at last she discovered the truth and died of a broken heart, re-
versing a will she had made in his favour, and leaving a second in which she
enjoined her executor, Bishop Berkeley, to publish the poem of ‘*Cadenus
and Vanessa, in which the dean had avowed his passion for her, together
with his letters to her, all of which breathed the most ardent affection.
The bishop, who was one of Swift’s most familiar friends, reluctantly pub-
lished the poem but, for obvious reasons, withheld the letters. The effect
produced on both Swift and Stella on the appearance of the poem was the
eeverest trial they had ever experienced, proving the pregnant source of
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xIX

many heart-burnings and much bitterness of feeling. Swift went on a tour
through the south of Ireland, and Stella to the house of a friend till the
scandal had in some some degree died away; but all confidence from that
time between them (and on her part justly, too,) was broken never to be
renewed ; and though she apparently regained her usual equanimity, the idol
of her heart had fallen down never to be set up again.

It was the year 1723, the year of Vanessa’s death, that gave to the world
the most splendid example of Swift’s talent in moving the passions of the
people. About that time a patent was granted to William Wood, a manu-
facturer of Wolverhampton, for coining halfpence and farthings to the extent
ot £100,000. The duchess of Kendal, said to have been married to George L.,
had received the patent from Sunderland the prime minister, and disposed
of it to Wood, who immediately issued the money. ‘The Irish people, how-
ever, complained that their country was treated as a dependent kingdom by
the patent being granted to an Englishman, and the coining being carried on
in Enzland. ‘The patent was kept a sort of secret by the ministers, whose
indiscretion in this respect caused the most injurious and groundless reports
to be circulated and believed, which might have been at once removed by the
simple publication of the facts. Swift appeared, in order to increase the
ferment, by a series of letters and ballads, all of which were signed M. B.
Drapier ; and in these he did not fail to avail himself’ of all the latitude of
sarcastic conjecture. In this, indeed, he had room enough, for the patent
had been passed without the knowledge of the lord-lieutenant or privy-
council of Ireland: it was no wonder the people of Irciand grew jealous.



Walpole began to be alarmed, and drew up a conciliatory paper, which was
extensively circulated, but it made no impression. This minister, who was
then at the head of the treasury, wisely determined to act with moderation.
xX LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

The duke of Grafton had not shown much talent or desire for conciliation,
and was therefore recalled. Lord Carteret was appointed to succeed him,
but even his superior address failed to allay the passions ot the populace,
Besides the influence of Swift, he had the opposition of Middleton, lord
chancellor of Ireland, and the patent was finally surrendered.

“ Gulliver’s Travels” appeared in 1727. This work created a great sen-
sation but the satire was allowed by every one to be merely general, “ The
politicians to a man agree,” writes Gay to Swift, “ That it is free from par -
ticular reflections, but that it is a satire on general society and is too severe.”
Pope also writes to him in the same manner. “ I find no considerable
man,” says he, ‘‘ very angry with the book ; some, indeed, say that. it is too
bold, but none that I hear of, accuse it of particular reflections.” With the
exception of two or there allusions to Sir Robert Walpole, who is particular-
ised as Flimnap, the treasurer, in the voyage to Lilliput, this is precisely
the character of Swift’s performance. The “Travels” were not published till
after Swift’s return to Ireland. There was a considerable deal of mystery
affected with regard to the authorship, which was at once pronounced
to be Swiit’s. Pope, Gay, Arbuthnot, and other of his friends, so far
favoured this affectation of secrecy, of which the dean was particularly fond,
as to write in apparent doubt as to the author, though the two first must
have known that the work was projected months before. As before ob-
served, so great was the sensation created by the Drapier’s letters, that the
‘‘ ‘Travels ” were exposed to an unusual degree of notoriety ; so much so in-
deed, that Swift purposely remained in his deanery till the rage of Walpole,
who was chiefly reflected on, was appeased.

There has been traced a strong likeness between the characters of Gul-
liver and Robinson Crusoe; and no doubt the popularity of Defoe’s here

Mee
FAN
y
had the effect of creating more than an accidental resemblance between the
two. Dunlop, in his “ History of Fiction,” boldly asserts that the dean

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J



3 H
if

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4 y
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT, xxi

derived his idea of the character and his plan of carrying out the story
from Defoe. But there is an essential difference between Gulliver and
Crusoe, inasmuch as the former is designed as a satire on the abuses of
human learning and civilization, and a caricature upon the exaggerations
of travellers, while the latter bears throughout the impress.of truth, and
is forcible from its very simplicity.

In the Voyage to Lilliput, it is designed to expose the policy of the court
during the reign of the first George ; and the differences between the court
and the popular party is ably described in the intrigues of the Big-endians
and the Little-endians. The prince of Wales, afterwards George II., is
supposed to have been unwilling to permit an union of parties, and is cha-
racterised as the prince apparent of Lilliput, wearing one high-heeled and
one low-heeled shoe.

In spite of the malevolence of the whigs the “ Travels” gave great sa-
tisfaction to the tories, and their extreme popularity gave evidence how
much the people relished the abuse of their former favourites. In the
voyage to Brobdingnag the author takes a more extended scope; the attack
being made, not upon the tactics of a party, but upon the general system
ot policy pursued by the ministers of Europe. Swift, like Bolingbroke,
attempts to sketch the character of a patriot king and a popular govern-
ment. The opinions formed by these beings, possessed of immense physical
and moral strength, of European policy and the scandals of a court, are
developed with great ability, and possess a power of satire quite unequalled
by any similar production. It is man viewing the mimic squabbles of an
ant-hill, or Gulliver himself contemplating the court of Lilliput.

The contrast between the position of the same man, at one time a giant
and at another less than the smallest dwarf, is very happily conceived and
admirably carried out, and lends singular force to the satire. he attack
upon the maids of honour in the voyage to Brobdingnag appears to us
savage and unmanly, and is the only special allusion in this part of the
“Travels.” Swift, however, bore no great love to the ladies of Queen
Anne’s court, to whom he believed he owed his failure in not obtaining
a bishopric,

‘he voyage to Laputa would, had it been the first published, have pro-
bably proved a failure, The satire was not, at the time of its publication,
the least understood by the mass of the people. It was intended to ridi-
cule the Royal Society, then but lately established, and which had been
previously satirised by Butler. In the pursuits of the inhabitants of the
Flying Island, an attack is made on Sir Isaac Newton, who had given
his opinion, as master of the Mint, on the genuineness of Wood’s copper
coinage ; and his habitual absence of mind probably suggested to Switt the
whimsical idea of the Flappers, who constantly attended the Laputian phi-
losophers, and administered a blow on the ear with their bladders whenever
they found their master’s attention wandering or absorbed. ‘he satire
contained in his description of the College of Projectors is particular!
happy, and was greatly relished ; as, during the rage for speculation which
rose with the South-Sea scheme, proposals fully as absurd as those mentioned
by Swift were every day being: published and found greedy and impatient
followers among the idle, the speculative, or the vicious. ‘The raising of ghosts
at Glubbdubdrib were then, and are now, considered decided failures. Not
80, however, the melancholy description of the Struldbrugs, in which Swift
XXil LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

appears to have foreseen his melancholy end, and to have felt, as he did
when ne exclaimed to Young, on seeing a withered tree—‘“ I am like that
oak, I shall decay at top.”

‘he voyage to the Houyhnhnms was the most unpopular, and deservedly
remains so. It is disgusting and repulsive from the misanthropy and filthy
language which pervades it; and is, in the present day, seldom read, and
never defended. Sir Walter Scott indeed, has attempted to excuse Switt
on account of the low condition of the poor Irish at that time, leading as they
were a mere animal existence, horrible to contemplate. A letter addressed
by Swift to the Reverend John Brandreth, dean of Emby, in the county
of ‘Tipperary, gives a tolerably good idea of the state of the pea-
santry and surrounding country at that time. We are indebted to a
book, very little known at the present day, entitled ‘‘ Letters of His
Excellency Hugh Boulton, DD., Lord Primate of Ireland,” for this
communication :

“ Sir,

If you are not an excellent philosopher, I allow you personate
one perfectly well; and if you believe yourself, I heartily envy you: for I
never yet saw in Ireland a spot of earth two feet wide, that had not in it
something to displease. I think I once was in your county, Tipperary,
which is like the rest of the kingdom,—a bare face of nature, without
houses or plantations :—filthy cabins, miserable, * tattered, half starved,
creatures, scarce in human shape; one insolent, ignorant, oppressive ’squire
to be found in twenty miles’ riding ;—a parish church to be found only in a
summer-day’s journey, in comparison of which an English farmer’s barn is
a cathedral; a bog of fifteen miles round ;—every meadow a slough, and
every hill a mixture of rock, heath, and marsh ;—and every male and
female, from the farmer inclusive to the day-labourer, infallibly a beggar, and
consequently a thief, which in this island are terms convertible. The
Shannon is rather a lake than a river, and has not the sixth part of the
stream that runs under London Bridge. There is not an acre of land in
Ireland turned to half its advantage, yet it is better improved than the
people: and all these evils are effects of English tyranny; so your sons and
erandchildren will find to their sorrow. Cork indeed, was a place of trade ;
but for some years past is gone to decay; and the wretched merchants,
instead of being dealers, are dwindled into pedlars and cheats. I desire
you will not write such accounts to your friends in England. Did you ever
see one cheerful countenance among our country vulgar unless once a year at
a fair or on a holiday, when some poor rogue happened to get drunk and
starved the whole weck after.—You will give a very different account of
your winter campaign, when you can’t walk five yards from your door
without being mired to your knees, nor ride half a mile without being in
slough to your saddle skirts; when your landlord must send twenty miles
tor yeast, before he can brew or bake; and the neighbours for six miles
round must club to kill a mutton.—Pray:take care of damps, and when
you leave your bedchamber, let a fire be made, to last till night ; and after
all, if a stocking happen to fall off a chair, you may wring it next morning,
I nunc et tecum versus meditare canoros. I have not said all this out of any
malicious intention, to put vou out of conceit with the scene where you are,
but merely for your credit; because it is better to know you are miserable,
than to betray an ill taste. I consult your honour, which is dearer than life,
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xxiii

therefore, I demand that you shall not relish one bit of victuals, one drop
of drink, or the company of any human creature, within thirty miles of
Knoctoher, during your residence in those parts; and then I shall begin to
have a tolerable opinion of your understanding. My lameness is oot
slowly recovering; and if it be well when that the year is out, I shall
gladly compound; yet I make a shift to ride about ten miles a day by
virtue of certain implements called gambadoes, where my feet stand firm
as on a floor; and I generally dine alone, like aking or an hermit, and con-
tinue alone, until I go to bed; for even my wine will not purchase com-
pany, and I begin to think the lame are forsaken as much as the poor and
the blind. Mr. Jebb never calls at the deanery of late: perhaps he hath
found out that I like him as a modest man, and of very good understanding.
This town is neither large nor full enough to furnish events for entertaining
a country correspondent. Murder now and then is all we have to trust to.
Our fruit is all destroyed with the long spring and eastern winds; and I
shall not have the tenth part of my last year’s fruit. Miss Hoadley hath
been nine days in the small pox, which I never heard of till this minute ;
but they say she is past danger. She would have been a terrible loss
to the archbishop. Dr. Felton, of Oxford, hath writ an octavo about
Revelation ; I know not his character. He sent over four copies, to me,
one of which was for Mr. Tickle, two for the bishops of Cork und
Waterford, and one to myself, by way of payment for sendixig the
rest, I suppose, for he sent me no letter. I know him new :— When.
ever you are in town I hope you will mend your usage of me, by
coming often to a philosophical dinner at the deanery ; , this I pretend
to expect for the sake of our common princess, Lady E. Germaine, to whom
I've (qy. I owe) the happiness of your acquaintance: and dn her account I
expect your justice to believe me to be with truest esteem, \
Your most obedient humble \servant,
(Dublin,) 30th June, 17382. Js SWIFT.

To return, however to the motives which actuated the dean to draw so
dark a picture of human nature. Extraneous causes had, no doubt, great
influence on his mind, and tended to make him look on the gloomy side of
life. Vanessa, disappointed and heart-broken, had sunk into an_ early
grave, and Stella did not long survive her wretched rival ; and, besides
tasting the bitter fruits of his own heartless and selfish passions, his ambi-
tion was blighted, and the seeds of the most afflicting malady were at this
time most surely sown. Misanthropical, discontented, gloomy and disap-
pointed, it is no wonder, surrounded as he was by poverty and the worst
specimens of humanity that his description of the Yahoos should be drawn
with so dark a pencil as to be revolting from its very truthfulness; and in
painting the picture of unregenerate and savage man, he should have revelled
in the contemplation of so disgusting a portraiture. But, horrible as it is, it is
not without its use: it teaches us what humanity would become if left en-
tirely to the brutalizing influence of ignorance and the passions, and deprived.
of the light of intelligence and religion.

The dean, like a large class not peculiar to his day, sought in the indul-
gence of misanthropical sentiments, a relief from the weary monotony of
an ill-spent life and a sweet revenge for disappointed ambition. The old
duchess of Marlborough, his bitter enemy, who had long outlived her power
XXIV LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

though not her love for it, declared that Swift was a most admirable portrait-
painter, and expressed her delight at the description of the miserable Yahoos,
who were, she said, truly the men of the world.

The Travels became immensely popular with all classes of politicians ; se
much so indeed, that Voltaire, who was then in England, warmly recom-
mended it to the perusal of his friends, and advised its translation into the
French. The task was undertaken by the Abbe Desfontaines, who, hows
ever, refrained from giving a literal version of Swift’s peculiar notions, which
were too bold for his countrymen. ‘The abbe published a continuation ot
Gulliver’s Travels, which never reached asecond edition, and was soon con-
signed to merited oblivion.

‘The year in which the Travels appeared was a wretched one to Swift,
for in it died Stella, and with her ail of happiness in the world. After this
melancholy event he appeared to lose all sense of even such pleasure as he
was capable of feeling, and adopted, in the bitterness of disappointment and
the solitude of misanthrophy, the motto of ‘“ Vive la bagatelle.”

During the following years he published a few pamphlets among which
are the ‘“* Directions to servants,” the ‘‘ Sacramental test,’’ ‘‘ Polite conversa-
vons,” and some others. The two first display the talent he possessed for
minute observation, which was particularly observable in Gulliver’s Travels.
Throughout his whole life he had been in the habit of throwing his trifling
thoughts into rhyme: of his various pieces the best are ‘ Cadenus and
Vanessa,”’ and the ‘‘ Rhapsody on Poetry.” He madea fierce attack on the
Trish Parliament in a production entitled the ‘“ Legion Club ;’’ it is forcible
and pointed, as .are all his attacks whether in verse or prose, and displays
the foxes of disappointed ambition. About this time he published some
verses on his owm death, which reflect the strange eccentricity and misan-
thropy of their author. 7

The last years of Swift were visited by alternate fits of moody idleness
and gloomy inisanity. In 1741, his mental condition was such, that it be-
came absolutely necessary that Jegal guardians should be appointed to look
after his persion and property. While finishing the “ Legion Club,” he was
sivzed with fiits of giddiness, and so severe and continuous were they, that
upon its comipletion he never again ventured upon any work of thought and
labour. The/ next year he had a few short intervals of reason, but the hopes
of his even‘sual recovery were soon alas! dispelled, never again to be enter-
tained. Soon after, he sunk into a state of stupid lethargy, remaining for
hours together in a motionless, listless, stupid, condition. His faithful servant,
Richard. Brennan, who attended him in his last illness, and supported him
in his arms when he expired, relates that to the last he was sutticiently sen-
sible to repeat parts of the Lord’s prayer, and that his lips moved with sup-
plicecion even after the power of utterance was gone for ever. His death,
which took place on the evening of the 19th of October, 1745 was character-
ized by peace and tranquillity. ‘‘ He went off,” says Brennan, ‘like the
snuff of a candle.” He bequeathed his whole property to a hospital for
lunatics ; in his own words

“ He gave the little wealth he had,
To build a house for fools and mad ;
To show, by one satiric touch,

No nation wanted it so much.
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. Xx?

There are, says Mr. G. M. Berkeley, only four authentic portraits of
Swift, of which the one preserved by his family as a heirloom in the
deanery of St. Patrick’s is the most authentic. A copy of it adorns the
dining hall of Trinity College, Dublin, and represents a countenance
“ strongly marked with grief, indignation, and beneficence.”

WM

y Wy Wis
Y

My,

he
Sf, ify



This great wit, but unfortunate man, was in person tall, robust, and well
made; his complexion was rather dark; his eyes were blue, and very ex-
pressive ; his eyebrows dark and heavy ; his nose inclining to aquiline; and
his lips slightly curled upwards. In his youth he was considered handsome,
and in the decline of life his figure is universally described as noble and
imposing. He was a very fluent speaker, ready at retort, and never
thrown off his guard by the unexpected attack of his assailant. This
talent would have rendered him formidable, had he been presented with a
seat in the house of lords, which was t that time sadly deficient of elo-
quent debaters, and, with the single exception of Atterbury, scarcely pos-
sessed an able speaker. His tongue was dreaded no less than his pen, and
all parties sought to disarm his hostility by the grossest flattery, to which,
despite his genius, the dean was atall times particularly open. His conver-
sational powers were of the highest order, the originality of his humour render-
ing him a welcome guest at the tables of the great, to wuich he was a frequent

8
RXV1 LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

visitor. Efe delighted in relating anecdotes, of which he possessed a great store,
and could invest the commonest chit-chat of the table with an indescribable
charm. He was very fond of puns, and was the author of some of the best
that exist. It is a pity that so few have been preserved; they would be read
with the greatest relish in the present day, presenting, as they did, not
merely verbal wit, but astore of learning and talent, the most extensive
and unique, if not the most delicate and refined. He indulged in the
greatest singularity of speech, which was manifested on all, and some
extraordinary occasions. In introducing Bishop Berkeley to Lord Berkeley
of Stratton, he said:—‘* My lord, I present to your lordship’s notice a
relation of your own; he is good for something, and that, as times go, is
saying a great deal.” One day, when travelling in the southern part of
Ireland, he stopped to water his horse at a brook; a gentleman of the
neighbourhood also halted for the same purpose, and saluted the dean:
Swift, with his usual politeness, returned the courtesy, and went his way.
The gentleman, anxious to know who he was, sent his servant after him to
inquire. On overtaking the dean, the servant, with more than Irish simplicity,
said :——“ Sir, my master wishes to know who you are.”—*“ Tell your
master,’ answered Swift, “that I am the man who returned his salute at the
brook.”

He had an extraordinary talent for extemporaneous rhyming. An
innkeeper who wished to add the king’s head to his sign, which was that of
the Bell, inquired of the dean, who was stopping at his house, what he
should say to reconcile the anomaly. ‘‘ Say,” said Swift—

“Ding dong, ding dong,
May the king live long :
Ding dong, ding dong.”

He became so popular about the time of the publication of the celebrated
“ Drapier’s Letters,’ that whenever he appeared in the streets he was fol-
lowed by a great crowd, who saluted him with cheers and congratulations.
He used to say they ought to provide him with hats, as he bowed his
acknowledgments oftener than the prince himself. There has been much
said of his interchange of jests with the shoe-blacks and beggars of Dublin,
but, as it happens with every celebrated wit, much is attributed to him of
which he had not the slightest knowledge. Some of his lampoons and
epigrams display the most caustic wit. Bettesworth, the serjeant-at-law,
had provoked Swift’s anger by his attack on the privileges of the clergy,
and thus he repays him:

* Thus at the bar the booby Bettesworth,
‘Though half-a-crown o’erpays his sweat’sworth,
Who knows in law, nor text, nor margent,
Calls Singleton his brother serjeant,”

For the anecdote which accompanies this epigram we are indebted to the
learned Dr. Barrett. When the poem, of which the epigram forms a part,
was first published, it was brought wet from the press into a company in
which Bettesworth was present. The serjeant was requested to read it
aloud to the assembly : he complied; but when he came to that part which
reflected on himself he stormed and raved, and declared he would take
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xXvia

deadly vengeance on the author. Immediately proceeding to the deanery,
he made his way into the presence of Swift, and looking daggers, exclaimed

“ Sir, I am serjeant Bettesworth.”

The dean with the most unconcerned face asked,

“ Of what regiment, pray?”

Bettesworth, still more enraged, demanded—“ Are you the author of this
paper ?”

The dean, with great coolness replied,

“ Mr. Bettesworth, when I was a youth I was acquainted with a great
lawyer, who advised me, knowing my satirical disposition, if any scoundrel
or blockhead whom I had lampooned asked me such a question as you have
put, to deny the authorship; and I therefore tell you, that I am not the
author of those lines.” ff

Bettesworth looked thundérs, blustered and swore, but got no further
satisfaction. At length he departed, saying,—‘‘ Mr. Dean, you are like one
of your own Yahoos; you have elambered to a place of security, whence you
can gratify your malice by discharging your filth on your betters.”

As Bettesworth continued to threaten, the inhabitants of St. Patrick’s
district formed themselves into a defensive ‘association to protect their
favourite dean from personal violence, and the unfortunate lawyer could
scarcely appear in the streets without being hooted and laughed at. Bettes-
worth subsequently declared in parliament that Swift’s satire had deprived
him of more than twelve hundred pounds a year. Swift’s last composition,
and almost his last symptom of rationality, was an epigram. During one of
his brief lucid intervals he was taken out by his physician for a drive: as
they passed through the park, Swift observed a building he had never seen
before, and asked what it was. Being told it was a magazine of powder for
the defence of the city—‘* O ho!” he exclaimed, ‘my tablets, my tablets!
let me put that down ;” and taking out his pocket-book, wrote these lines—
the last he ever penned.

“ Behold a proof of Irish sense!
Here Irish wit is seen ;
Where nothing’s left that’s worth defence
We build a magazine.”

Abstractedly speaking, the office of the critic is superior to that of the
author. ‘The critic is possessed of knowledge, not minute, but extensive,
for he studiously remarks only the essential points of a subject. The
author’s knowledge is minute and profound, but it lies in only one direction.
It is the office of the critic to popularize the investigations, to correct the
errors, and to illustrate the truths of those whose genius has called them to
a life of laborious study in one branch of knowledge. ‘The critic indicates
the chasms of science ; the author fills them up. In everything the critic
is the director of the author. This is the origin of the tone of superiority
assumea by critics over authors, and which some sensible men have pro-
tested against; but a little consideration will show that it cannot be avoided:
indeed, the very function of the critic presupposes it. But for one who
properly understands his vocation as a true critic, there are perhaps fifty in-
judicious pretenders, whose heedless strictures, or false praises, are apt to
give rise to opinions derogatory to the office of the critic, however just of
him who usurps it. These remarks will be readily understood in this place.
xEVIN LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

“ Gulliver’s Travels” and the “ Tale of a Tub” are the two brilliant per-
formances which will place Swift in the ranks of England’s literati. They
exhibit the quality of his wit, and from them will posterity estimate his
talents. The peculiar industry and correctness of Swift has not hitherto
been noticed in relation to the manner in which he has given an air of
reality to the most opposite ideas. For instance, when speaking of the
relative proportions of his giants or his dwarfs, can anything exceed the ex-



yetness with which he has drawn their several gigantic or minute charac-
teristics? In this particular he has shown talent the most original and
remarkable.

No one ever exceeded Swift in the bitterness of his satire. His wit
is his hatred distilled, and thus gives deadly force to his attacks. If
Congreve could have hated his political opponents as heartily, perhaps
his wit would have carried a similar venom. But what degrades
Swift’s style below most of the writers of his day, infinitely below even
Farquhar and Ben Jonson, is the filthy language of which he makes use,
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. XXIX

The character of his intellect may be inferred from a consideration of his
works. It was clear, steady, and apathetic; never glowing, tender, or
elevated. His conceptions were all cold-blooded, often curdled with a cynical
misanthropy, and two frequently vulgar and filthy. Cowper and Sheridan
draw their dazzling rapiers and fight their battles of wit like gentlemen ;
the antagonists of Swift find themselves knocked down with a dirty kitchen
besom, by which they are immediately besmeared with a compound of vitriol
and filth.

“ Gulliver’s Travels” are a condensation of all Swift’s misanthropy. This
performance is the bitterest satire on human nature that ever was conceived.
Swift had only seen the dark side of the world; his life had been a series
of disappointments; and thus, to use his own words—“ he heartily hated
and detested the animal called man, though he heartily loved John, Peter,
Thomas, and so forth.’ There were times, however, when he relented
a little; and once, to Pope, he said—‘ If there were but half a dozen
Arbuthnots in the world, 1 would burn my travels.” He appears to have felt
sensible sorrow in his latter days for much that he had written, as is
evidenced in a letter to the Rev. Dr. Henry Jenny, rector of Armagh, whom
he is supposed to have satirized in a poem entitled “ Hamilton’s Bawn.”

The satire in “ Gulliver’s Travels” is thoroughly just; “but it stands on
too narrow a basis to give more than a transient amusement to any one
possessed of enlarged ideas of the world. There is much that is good and
noble in human nature as well as much that is vicious. To be worthy the
contemplation of a philosopher, the colouring of a great picture of human
existence should be as various as that of the original. And sucha picture
could not fail of being a generous and beneficial satire. It is the common
source of regret that every one applies general satire to all but himself; but
this is much more the fault of the satirist than of the reader. If the picture
is all dark and loathsome, it never strikes a man that it can represent him-
sclf; a more faithful delineation would have brought home the likeness, and
he would have been ashanied of the spots on the general goodness of his
nature. No man, or class of men, was ever reformed by being represented
as a mass of bad qualities: on the contrary, the injudicious satirist rouses
against himself hatred, contempt, and all other bad passions ; but man is
eager to correct his faults when he is told of them as detracting from his
general excellence; and the motives which are thus awakened are generous
and healthy, and likely to give an elevated tone to the character. ‘The fol-
lowing extract from the “ Travels” is an excellent piece of satire on pro-
jectors and scientific discoverers, and is introduced in this place for the pur-
pose of giving the reader a few remarks of the celebrated metaphysician,
Dr. Brown, who appears to consider that Swift did not push his satire so far
as he might fairly have done; an imputation the dean is not generally open
to, his failures in that respect being by no means numerous.

“There was a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and
this was urged as a great advantage in point of health as well as brevity.
For it is plain that every word we speak is in some degree a diminution of
our lungs by corrosion; and consequently contributes to the shortening of
our lives. An expedient was therefore offered, that, since words are only
names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about
them such things as were necessary to express a particular business they are
to discourse on: and this invention would certainly have taken place, to the
2XL LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

great ease as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with
the vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they
might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues after the manner
of their forefathers; such constant irreconcileable enemies to science are the
common people. However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to
the new scheme of expressing themselves by things, which has only this
inconvenience attending it, that, if a man’s business be very great, and of
various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a greater bundle
of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two strong servants to
attend him. I have often beheld two of these sages almost sinking under
the weight of their packs like pedlars among us; who, when they met in
the streets, would lay down their loads, open their packs, and hold conver-
sation for an hour together, then put up their implements, help each other
to resume their burdens, and take their leave.” _

Dr. Brown says—‘“ I cannot but think that to a genius like that of Swift a
finer subject of philosophical ridicule than the mere difficulty which his sages
felt in carrying asufficient stock of things to supply the place of abstract lan-
guage might have been found. In his own great field of political irony, for ex-
ample, how many subjects of happy satire might he have found in the emblems
to which his patriots and courtiers, in their most zealous professions of public
devotion, might have been obliged to have recourse ; the painful awkwardness
of the political expectant of places and dignities, who was outwardly to have
no wish but for the welfare of his country, yet could find nothing but mitres
and maces, and seals, and pieces of stamped metal, with which to express
his purity and disinterested patriotism ; and the hurrying eagerness of the
statesman to change instantly the whole upholstery of language in his house
for new political furniture, in consequence of the mere accident of his re-
moval of office.”

The vindictiveness of Swift may be seen in the severely bitter attacks he
made on individuals. The steward of his college had offended him in some
way, and he thus paints his portrait. When once the dean took offence he
never forgave the culprit. He was a firm friend when it suited his interest
or ambition ; but where he supposed either the one or the other had been
slighted, he spared no means, however unfair or dishonourable, by tongue
or pen, to lower his adversary in the estimation of his confréres.

“ A COLLEGE STEWARD

is an animal mixture, a medley or hodge-podge of butcher and cook, of
scullion and scholar. He lives negatively by the privation of others, and
mortifies more the flesh than all the divines in the kingdom. Did he
live an.ong the ancients, he would be taken for a wrestling-master, with his
skin oiled for the circus. Hence, it comes to pass, that his greasy shirt
pays his laundress, and finds her in soap and candles. You may follow
him (like the old pie-woman,) by his smell. Strangers passing by his
door take it for the college chandler’s: an ignorant woman went there,
directed by her nose, to sell her kitchen stuff. The butcher’s dogs fawn
upon him, and follow him for his hogoes.”’

The “ Tale of a Tub” is an allegory, in which the churches of Rome
and England, and the Calvinistic church, are respectively represented as
three brothers, Peter, Jack, and Martin. The gradual rise of the eccle-
LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT. xxxi

siastical corruptions of the past centuries, together with the reformation,
are admirably and laughably typified by the increasing foppery of the
brothers, and by Peter kicking Martin and Jack out of doors, who after-
wards set up for themselves. The entire scope of the satire is against the
churches of Rome and Scotland. There are a great many prefaces and
digressions, which, although in some parts obscure and obscene, evince
much wit, and the most pungent irony. The circumstance of Swilt
writing allegory has led some of his biographers to suppose that he
was possessed of fancy, it being erroneously imagined that allegory was a
continuation of metaphor. Mr. Carson, of Ireland, very clearly points out
the line of demarcation between allegory and metaphor in his Essay on
«The Figures of Specch.” The ‘ Tale of a Tub” is an effort of wit
rather than of fancy. Wit and fancy have at least one field of display ;
for they are both founded on resemblance. Perhaps allegory is a part of
this common field; and it may be well taken for granted that the sustained
resemblance of his allegory was traced out by the wit of Swift, and that
the fancy, which never made any native sally in any other of his works,
was not likely to shine with much lustre in the “Tale of a Tub.” The
atmosphere of Swift’s mind was far too chilly for the growth of the deli-
cate flowers of rhetoric.

Perhaps, after the specimens already given, enough has been said indi-
cative of his style. It is fertile in poor and idiomatic expressions. Ilis
poetical effusions are especially chargeable with this literary vice: in this
he is a contrast to the other wits and writers of his day, whose works have
descended to us. Pope and Addison are not often indecent, and they are
never disgusting. Rich in all the arts that make literature attractive, it
seemed to be their innocent ambition to ‘‘gild” what already appeared to
be “refined gold,” and to “ paint the lily” with a more dazzling whiteness.
Swift, on the contrary, delights to degrade everything that is amiable by
associations of every kind of nastiness. His poems are no sooner opened,
than the nose is invaded and the stomach set in motion.

A biographer who does not enter into the moral character of his subject
leaves it to be understood that in this respect he was an ordinary specimen
of human nature. In this, however, there is, perhaps, some injustice ; as
it is possible that the same peculiarities of mind which elevated him above
his fellow-men, gave also a distinctive character to his morals. The
question of his moral temperament must, nevertheless, be left undecided, or
charitably explained, unless great events or critical situations have afforded
good grounds for a decided and distinct opinion. Although considerable
mystery hangs over many parts of Swift’s life, there are two critical situa-
tions which may be easily distinguished. he first is the invitation to
Stella to come to Ireland, already mentioned; the second is his treatment of
Vanessa after she had disclosed to him the state of her affections. In both
of these Swift acted a most dishonourable and unmanly part, and yet the
name of Swift has descended to posterity in the light of his abilities rather
than in the shade of his character. Strange it is, that wit should be con-
sidered valuable enough to redeem character, not to say dishonour and
disgrace. But the world is, for the most part, led captive by meretricious
displays ; and the greatest vices will ever find their admirers and apologists,
if they are gilded by the charm of genius or lighted up by the flashes of
wit. To saya good thing is far more famous than to doa good thing.
XXX LIFE OF DEAN SWIFT.

The names of Howard and Hampden have but a feeble immortality; and
it requires all the genius of Pope and ali the eloquence of Burke to embalin
them. But the critic who recognises any moral error in the language of
praise or censure must act on this maxim—that no abilities, however solid
or shining, can lay any other claim to admiration than that which is
founded on the good use made of them, and the noble ends to which they
are devoted. In this memoir we have carefully avoided the field of Irish
politics, which, however proper their consideration might have been in a life
of Swift, would, from the vastness of the subject, as well as from the convic-
tion of the ill-feeling which such retrospects frequently occasion in this day,
have occasioned too long a digression. It will be enough to observe that his
writings, and especially the “ Drapier’s Letters” were influential in spread-
ing more correct views of the true position and rights of Ireland. This
unhappy country, the nursing mother of eloquence and wit, seems, however,
to be true still to the fortunes of genius.

The biographer of Swift, or of any other of the literary men of his time,
cannot but feel that they were the polishers of that luxuriant power which
a century before, laid the foundations of England’s intellectual greatness.
The age of Elizabeth was an era of power; the age of Anne was one of
polish. Imagination, in its comprehensive sense, was the basis of both
periods; in the former, breaking out in the grandest phenomena, and
peopling the intellectual world with the happiest creations of humanity; in
the latter, delighting in the lighter imagery of a well regulated fancy.
With the exception of Bacon, who possessed the lofty imagination of the
age, we see no one thus gifted who endeavoured to penetrate the secrets of
philosophy, until we arrive at the precincts of our own day. A race of
daring and powerful (though perhaps a little erratic) writers are already
beginning to appear. They have dedicated theinselves with a religious
devotion to the service of truth: and it is reasonable to hope that the
spring-time and summer of literature should be succeeded by an autumnal
era, of which their flowers may be considered as the beautiful harbingers.

Having thus endeavoured to give the reader a fair and comprehensive
digest of the life and principal works of the great satirist, we can but say in
conclusion, that it is ever to be regretted that talents so splendid, and
genius so exalted as that possessed by Swift, should have been perverted
to the mere purposes of party; and that, while his literary fame will con-
tinue to be appreciated by generations unborn, his character, instead of
shining with the light of religion and morality, should be rather held out as
a beacon to warn the heedless against the consequences ever resulting from
the laxity in moral attributes, and the tergiversation in political honour
which distinguishes him from ali his contemporaries,


A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

CHAPTER IL

THE AUTHOR GIVES SOME ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF AND FadILY: HIS
FIRST INDUCEMENTS TO TRAVEN, HE IS SHIPWRECKED, AND
SWIMS FOR HIS LIFE3 GETS SAFE ON SHORE IN THE COUNTRY OF
LILLIPUT; IS MADE A PRISONER, AND CARRIED UP THE COUNTRY.

y Father had a small estate in Not-
tinghamshire ; I was the third of five
sons. He sent me to Emanuel col-
lege in Cambridge, at fourteen years
old, where I resided three years, and
applied myself close to my studies ;
but the charge of maintaining me,
although I had a very scanty allow-
ance, being too great for a narrow
fortune, I was bound apprentice to
Mr. James Bates, an eminent sur-
geon in London, with whom I con-



tinued four years; and my father now and then sending me small sums
of money, I laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the
a A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed it
would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates,
I went down to my father; where, by the assistance of him and my uncle
John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of
thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden; there I studied physic
two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long voyages.



Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good
master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pan-
nell, commander: with whom I continued three years and a half, making
a voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came
back I resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master, en-
couraged me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took
part of a small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my
condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund
Burton, hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred
pounds for a portion. |

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few
friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer
me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having
therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I deter-
mined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships, and
made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies, by which
I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in reading
the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided with a good
number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the manners and
dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language ; wherein |
had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, 1 grew weary of
CULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 3

the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. T re-
moved from the Old Jewry to Fetter-lane, and from thence to Wapping,
hoping to get busincg among the sailors, but it would not turn to ac-
count. After three years’ expectation that things would mend, I accepted
an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of the An-
telope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from
Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage at first was very prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with the
particulars of our adventures in those seas ; let it suffice to inform him,
that in our passage from thence to the Kast Indies, we were driven by a
violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen’s Land. By an observa-
tion, we found ourselves in the latitude of 80 degrees 2 minutes south,
Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food; the
rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, which was
the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the
seaman spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship; but the
wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and split. Six



of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down the boat into the sea,
made a shift to get clear of the ship and the rock. We rowed, by my
computation, about three leagues, till we were able to work no longer,
being already spent with labour while we were in the ship. We therefore
trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves, and in about half an hour the
boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north, What became of
my companions in the boat, as well of those who escaped on the rock, or
were left in the vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost.
For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed for-
ward by the wind and tide. I often Jet my legs drop, and could feel no
bottom; but when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I
found myself within my depth ; and by this time the storm was so much
abated. The declivity was so small, that I walked near a mile before I
got to the shore, which I conjectured was about cight o’clock in the even-
ing. I then advanced forward near half a mile, but could not discover
any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a condition,
4 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT,

that I did not observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, ané
the heat of the weather, and about halfa pint of brandy that I drank as I
left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the
grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever |
remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours;
for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not
able to stir: for as I happened to lie on iny back, I found my arms and legs
were strongly fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which
was long and thick, tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt seve.

I
the 77S
oe (te.



ral slender ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I
could only look upwards, the sun began to grow hot, and the hght
offended my cyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the pos.
ture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt some-
thing alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over
my breast came almost up to my chin; when bending my eyes downward
as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches
high, with a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his back, In
the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I conjec-
tured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and roared
so loud, that they all ran back in a fright; and some of them, as T was
afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my
sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them,
who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his hands
and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but distinct voice,
Hekinah degul: the others repeated the same words several times, but I
then knew not what they meant. I lay all this while, as the reader may
believe, in great uneasiness; at length, struggling to get loose, I had the
fortune to break the strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my
left arm to the ground; for, by lifting it to my face, I discovered the
methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a violent
pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 5

down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my head
about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before 1 could
seize them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill .accent,
and after it ceased I heard one of them cry aloud, folgo phonac ; when in
an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,
which pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another



flight into the air, as we do bombs in Lurope, whercof many, I suppose,
fell on my body, (though I felt them not) and some on my face, which
I immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows
vas over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain, and then striving again
to ge' loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and
some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by
good luck I had on me a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I
thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design was to
continue so till night, when, my left hand being already loose. I could
easily free myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe I
might be a match for the greatest army they could bring against me, if
they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune dis-
posed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet they
discharged no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their num-
bers increased ; and about four yards from me, over-against my right ear,
I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work; when
turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would permit
me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from the ground, capa-
ble of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three ladders to mount
it: from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person of quality,
made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one syllable. But I
should have mentioned, that before the principal person began his ora-
tion, he cried out three times, Langro dehul san; (these words and the
re)

6 A VOYAGE 16 DIELEr Vs.

former were afterwards repeated and explained to me.) Whereupon,
immediately about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the strings that
fastened the left side of my head, which gave me the hberty of turning
it to the right, and of observing the person and gesture of him that was



to speak. He appeared to be of a middle age, and taller than any of tle
other three who attended him, whereof one was a page that held up his
train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger; the
other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted every part of
an orator, and I could observe many periods of threatings, and others of
promises, pity and kindness. I answered in a few words, but in the most
submissive manner, lifting up my left hand and both my eyes to the sun,
as calling him for a witness; and being almost famished with hunger,
having rot eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found
the demands of nature so strong upon me that I could not forbear showing
my impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of decency) by putting my
finger frequently to my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The hurgo
(for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very
well. He descended from the stage, and commanded that several lad-
ders should be applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of the in-
habitants mounted, and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets
full of meat, which had been provided and sent thither by the king’s
orders, upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there
was the flesh of several animals, but I could not distinguish them by the
taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of mutton,
and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I eat them
by two or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about the
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 9"

bigness uf musket bullets. They supplied me as fast as they could, show-
ing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and appe-
tite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by
my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most
ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their largest
hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top; I drank
it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not hold half a pint,

nd tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much more delicious.
They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the same manner,
and made signs for more: but they had none to give me. When I had
performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced upon my
breast, repeating several times as they did at first, Hekinah degul. They
made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first
warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud, Borach
mevolah ; and when they saw the vessels in the air, there was a universal
shout of Hekinah degul. I confess I was often tempted, while they were



passing backwards and forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the
first that came in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But the
remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst
they could do, and the promise of honour I made them, for so I inter-
preted my submissive behaviour, soon drove out these imaginations. Be-
sides, I now considered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality, to a
people who had treated me with so much expense and magnificence.
§ A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

kiowever, in my thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intre-
pidity of these diminutive mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk
upon my body, while one of my hands was at liberty, without trembling
at the very sight of so prodigious a creature as I must appear to them.
After some time, when they observed that I made no more demands for
meat, there appeared before me a person of high rank from his imperial
majesty. His excellency having mounted on the small of my right leg,
advanced forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his retinue; and
producing his credentials under the signet royal, which he applied close
to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with
a kind of determinate resolution ; often pointing forwards, which, as I
afterwards found, was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant;
whither it was agreed by his majesty, in council, that I must be conveyed.
I answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my
hand that was loose, putting it to the other, (but over his excellency’s
head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and
body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he under-
stood me well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation,
and held his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried asa prisoner.
However, he made other signs to let me understand, that I should have
meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I onca
more thought of attempting to break my bonds, but again, when 1 felt
the smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in
blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing like-
wise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let them
snow that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the
lurgo and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful counte-
nances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent repetitions of
the words, Peplum selan; and I felt great numbers of people on my left
side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was able to turn upon my
right, and to ease myself with making water; which I very plentifully
did, to the great astonishment of the people; who, on conjecturing by
iy motion what I was going to do, immediately opened to my right and
left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell with such noise and v10~
lence from me. But before this, they had daubed my face and both my
hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which, in a
few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows. These circum-
stances, added to the refreshment I had received by their victuals and
drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept about
eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no wonder, for the
physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a sleepy potion in the

hogsheads of wine.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 9

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the
ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an express;
and determined, in council, that I should be tied in the manner I have
related (which was done in the night while I slept) ; that plenty of meat
and drink should be sent me, and a machine prepared to carry me to the
capital city.

This resolution, perhaps, may appear very bold and dangerous, and I
am confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the
like occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as
well as generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill
me with their spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly
have awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have
roused my rage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings
wherewith I was tied ; after which, as they were not able to make re-
sistance, so they could expect no mercy.

















































































































These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a
great perfection in mechanics by the countenance and encouragement
of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has
several machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other great
weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are
nine feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried
on these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred
carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the

2

a
10 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood, raised three inches
from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upon
twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this
engine, which it seems set out in four hours after my landing. It was
brought parallel to me as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to raise
and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were
erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the bigness of pack-
thread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which the workmen
had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hun-
dred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by
many pulleys fastened on the poles, and thus, in less than three hours,
I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I
was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a profound
sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor.
Fifteen hundred of the emperor’s largest horses, each about four inches
and a half high, were employed to draw me towards the metropolis,
which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very
ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped awhile, to adjust
something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had
the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep: they climbed up
into the engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an
officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up
into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
sneeze violently ; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three
weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made
a long march the remaining part of the day, and rested at night with five
hundred guards on each side me, half with torches, and half with bows
and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next morning
at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred yards
of the city gates about noon, The emperor and all his court came out to
meet us; but his great officers would by no means suffer his majesty to
endanger his person by mounting on my body.

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple,
esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having been
polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to
the zeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had been
applied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried away.
In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate front-
ing to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide,
through which I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was a
small window, not above six inches from the ground; into that on the
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 11

left side, the king’s smith conveyed four-score and eleven chains, like
those that hang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which
were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against
this temple, on the other side of. the great highway, at twenty feet distance,
there was a turret, at least five feet high. Here the emperor ascended,
with many principal lords of his court, to have an opportunity of viewing
me, as I was told, for [could not see them. It was reckoned that above a
hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand;
and, in spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten
thousand, at several times, who mounted my body, by the help of ladders.
But a proclamation was soon issued to forbid it, upon pain of death,
When the workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they
cut all the strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up, with as melan-
choly a disposition as ever I had in my life. But the noise and astonish-
ment of the people, at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed.
The chain that held my left leg was about two yards long, and gave fle
not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle ;
but, being fixed within four inches of the gate allowed me to creep in, and
lie at my full length in the temple.




CHAPTER ILI.

THE EMPEROR OF LILLIPUT, ATTENDED BY SEVERAL OF THE NOBILITY,
COMES TO SEE THE AUTHOR IN HIS CONFINEMENT. THE EMPEROR'S.
PERSON AND HABIT DESCRIBED. LEARNED MEN APPOINTED TO
TEACH THE AUTHOR THEIR LANGUAGE. HE GAINS FAVOUR BY
HIS MILD DISPOSITION. HIS POCKETS ARE SEARCHED, AND HIS
SWORD AND PISTOLS TAKEN FROM HIM.

HEN I found myself on my feet, I looked
about me, and must confess I never beheld
a more entertaining prospect. The country
around appeared like a continued garden,
«i, and the enclosed fields, which were gene-
i} rally forty feet square, resembled so many
beds of flowers. These fields were inter-
mingled with woods of half a stang,* and
the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared
iy «to be seven feet high. I viewed the town
on my left hand, which looked like the painted scenes of a city in a
theatre.

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of
nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last
disburdened mysclf. I was under great difficulties between urgency and
shame. The best expedient I could think on,} was to creep into my



* A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.

+ Yhe author is singular in the use of this phrase, as think of, not think on, is the
usual mode.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS, 18

house, which I accordingly did ; and shutting the gate after me, I went
as far as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my belly
of that uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so
uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will
give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered
my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice
was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the full
extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning, before com-
pany came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-
barrows, by two servants, appointed for that purpose. I would not have
dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight, may appear
not very momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify my charac-
ter, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I am told, some of my
maligners have been pleased, upon this and other occasions, to call in
question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house,
having occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from
the tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have
eost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly
unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before
him, reared up on his hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent
horseman, kept his seat till his attendants ran in, and held the bridle,
while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed
me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of my chain.
He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me
victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicle upon
wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles, and soon emptied
them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and ten with liquor;
each of the former afforded me two or three good mouthfuls; and I
emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained in earthern vials,
into one vehicle, drinking it off ata draught; and so I did with the
rest. The ‘empress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes,
attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but upon
the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse they alighted, and
came near his person, which I am now going to describe. He is taller, by
almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court; which alone is
enough to strike an awe into the beholders. His features are strong and
masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive,
his countenance erect, his body and limbs well proportioned, all his
motions graceful, and his deportment majestic. He was then past his
prime, being twenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had
reigned about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the
14 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

better convenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face
was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however, I have
had him since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived
in the description. His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion
of it between the Asiatic and the European: but he had on his head a light
helmet of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He
held his sword drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to
break loose ;* it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were
gold enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and
‘articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies
and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they
stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread on the ground, em-
broidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke
often to me, and I returned answers ; but neither of us could understand
a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present, (as I
conjectured by their habits,) who were commanded to address themselves
to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least
smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,
Italian, and Lingua Franca, ‘but all to no purpose. After about two
hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent the
impertinence, and propably the malice of the 3
rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about
me as near as they durst; and some of them
had the impudence to shoot their arrows at
me, as J sat on the ground by the door of my
house, whereof one very narrowly missed my
left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the
ringleaders to be seized, and thought no pun-
ishment so proper as to deliver them bound into
my hands; which some of his soldiers accord-
ingly did, pushing them forward with the
butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. 1]
took them all in my right hand, put five of
them into my coat-pocket, and as to the sixth,
I made a countenance as if I would eat him
alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and 7
the colonel and his officers were in much pain, especially when they



* The masculine features, which Gulliver could not see before he laid his face
upon the ground, and the awful superiority of stature in the being whom he held
in his hand; the helmet, the plume, and the sword, are fine proofs of human pride ;
the ooject of which are trifling distinctions, which derive not only their origin but
their service from the folly, weakness, and imperfections of ourselves and others.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 15

saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for,
looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings he was -bound with,
I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I treated the rest in
the same manner, taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I ob-
served “both the soldiers and the people were highly delighted at this
mark of my clemency, which was represented very much to my advantage
at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay
on the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which
time the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hun-
dred beds* of the common measure were brought in carriages, and worked
up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn together, make
up the breadth and length ; and these were four double; which, how-
ever, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the floor, that
was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they provided me with
sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been
so long inured to hardships.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought
prodigious numbers, rich, idle, and curious people, to see me; so that the
villages were almost emptied ; and great neglect of tillage and household
affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not provided, by
several proclamations and orders of state, against this inconveniency.
He directed that those who had already beheld me should return home,
and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house, without licence
from the court; whereby the secretary of state got considerable fees.

In the mean time the emperor ‘held frequent councils, to debate what
course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured, by a
particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the secret
as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning me. They
apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very expensive,
and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me, or
at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisonous arrows, which
would soon despatch me; but again they considered that the stench of
so large a carcase might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably
spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these consultations,
several officers of the army went to the door of the great council-chamber,
and two of them being admitted, gave an account of my behaviour to the
six criminals above-mentioned ; which made so favourable an impression
in the breast of his majesty, and the whole board, in my behalf, that an
imperial commission was issued out, obliging all the villagers, nine hun-

* Gulliver has observed great exactness in the just proportion and appearanée
of the objects thus lessened.
16 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

dred yards round the city, fo deliver in every morning six beeves, forty
sheep, and other victuals, for my sustenance ; together with a proportion-
able quantity of bread, and wine, and other liquors; for the due pay-
ment of which his majesty gave assignments upon his treasury : for this
prince lives chiefly upon his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great-
occasions raising any subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend
him in his wars at their own expense. An establishment was also made
of six-hundred persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed
for their maintenance, and tents built for them, very conveniently, on
each side of my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred
tailors should make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country ;
that six of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct
me in their language ; and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of
the nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my
sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in
execution ; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning
their language ; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me
with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We
began already to converse together in some sort ; and the first words I
learnt, were to express my desire ‘that he would be pleased to give me
my liberty ;’ which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I
could apprehend it, was, ‘ that this must be a work of time, not to be
thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must /wmos
kelmin pesso desmar lon emposa ;’ that is, swear a peace with him and his
kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he
advised me to ‘ acquire by my patience and discreet behaviour. the good
opinion of himself and his subjects.’ He desired, ‘I would not take it
ill if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me ; for probably
I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs be dangerous
things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a person.’ I said,
‘His majesty should be satisfied! for I was ready to strip myself, and
turn out my pockets before him.’ This I delivered, part in words, and
part in signs. He replied, ‘that by the laws of the kingdom, I must be
- searched by two of his officers; that he knew this could not be done
without my consent and assistance ; and he had so good an opinion of
my generosity and justice as to trust their persons in my hands ; that
whatever they took from me should be returned when I left the country
or paid for, at the rate which I would set upon them.’ I took up the two
officers in my hands, put them first’ into my coat-pockets, and then into
every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and another secret
pocket, which I had no mind should be searched, wherein I had some
little necessaries that were of no consequence to any but myself. In
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 17

one of my fobs there was a silver watch, and in the other a small quantity
of gold ina purse. These gentlemen, having pens, ink and paper about
them, made an exact inventory of every thing they saw; and when they
had done, desired I would set them down, that they might deliver it to
the emperor. This inventory I afterwards translated into English, and
is word for word as follows :

‘ Imprimis, In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain (for so
I interpret the words guinbus festrin), after the strictest search, we found



only one great piece of coarse clath, large enough to be a foot cloth for your
majesty’s chief room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver
chest, with a cover of the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not
able to lift. We desired it should be opencd, and one of us stepping into
it, found himself up to the mid-leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof
flying up to our faces, set us both a-sneczing for several times together.
In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of white thin
substance, folded one over another, about the bigness of three men, tied
with a strong cable, and marked with black figures; which we humbly
‘conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as large as the palm of
3
18 GULLIVER’S TRAVELS.

our nands. In the left there was a sort of engine, from the back of
which were extended twenty long poles, resembling the palisadoes before
your majesty’s court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs
his head; for we did not always trouble him with questions, because we
found it a great difficulty to make him understand us. In the large
pocket, on the right side of his middle cover, (so I translate the word
ranfu-lo, by which they meant my breeches), we saw a hollow pillar of
iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber
larger than the pillar; and upon one side of the pillar were huge pieces
of iron sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we knew not what to
make of. In the left pocket, ancther engine of the same kind. In the
smaller pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white
and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be
silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly lif,
them. In the left poeket were two black pillars irregularly shaped: we
could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the
bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed all of a
piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white round
substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these
was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which by our orders, we obliged
him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous
engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own
country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, and
cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could
not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the
tops of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his belly.
Cut of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a wonderful kind of
engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was at
the end of that chain; which appeared to be a globe, half silver, and half
of some transparent metal; for, on the transparent side, we saw certain
strange figures circularly drawn, and thought we could touch them, till
we found our fingers stopped by that lucid substance. He put this
engine to our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-
mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god
that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because
he assured us, (if we understand him right, for he expressed himself very
imperfectly,) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He

called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of

his life.* From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for

* The author seems to intend to show the probable fallacy of opinions derived
from the reports of travellers, by showing how little truth need be represented to
make falsehood specious.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 19

a fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him
for the same use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal,
which, if they be real gold, must be of immense value.

“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently
searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of
the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a
sword of the length of five mén; and on the right, a bag or pouch divided
into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your majesty’s sub-
jects. In one ofthese eélls were several globes, or balls, of a most
ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and required a strong
hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap of certain black grains,
butof no great bulk or.weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in
the palms of our hands.” *

“This is an exaet inventory of what we found about the body of the
man-mountain, who used us. with great civility, and due respect to your
majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the
eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign :

“ CLEFRIN FRELOcK,
“Marsrt Freiock.”

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,
although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. He
first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In the
mean time, he ordered three thousand of the choicest troops (who then
attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and arrows
just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes were
wholly fixed wpon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my scimitar,
which, although it had got some rust by the sea-water, was in most parts
exceedingly bright. I did so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout
between terror and surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection
dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and froin my hand. His
majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I
could expect; he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, and cast it
on the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the end of my
chain. The nextthing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars ; by
which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as
well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and charging it only with
powder, which by the closeness of my pouch, happened to escape wetting
in the sea (an ingonvenience against which all prudent mariners take
special care to provide), I first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and
then Ilet it off in the air. The astonishment here was much greater
&

a) ae GULLIVER’S TRAVELS,

than at the sight of the scimitar. Hundreds fell down asif they had been
atruck dead; and even the emperor, although he stood his ground, could
not recover bimvelf for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the

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same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder
and bullets; begging him that the former might be kept from fire, for
it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace
into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was
very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the
guards to bear in on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England
do a barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and
the motion of the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their
sight is much more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned
men about it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well -
imagine without my repeating ; although indeed I could not very perfectly
understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my
purse with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife:
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 21

and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-
book. My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his
majesty’s stores ; but the rest of my goods were returned me.

I had, as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their
search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use
for the weakness of mine eyes), a pocket perspective, and some other
little conveniencies ; which, being of no consequence to the emperor,
I did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended
they might be lost or spoiled, if I ventured them out of my possession,



P.zmies have always existed as isolated dwarfs, but the writers of the old
wor.d were of opinion that the race existed as a ration, and as such are men-
tio.ed by the Latin historian Pliny, and the elder Greeks, Herodotus and
Aristotle. Ctesias, who lived in the time of Xenophon, thus speaks the opinion
and history of his own day: “In the middle of India, there are black men
called piginies, using the same language as the other Indians; they are very
little, the tallest of them being but two cubits, and most of them but a cubit
and a-half high. They have very long hair, reaching down to their knees and
lower; and a beard larger than any man’s. After their beards are grown long,
they wear no clothes, but the hair of their head falls behind, a great deal lower
than their hams, and that of their beard before comes down to their feet; then
laying their hair thick all about their body, they afterwards gird themselves,
making use of their hair for clothes. They are flat-nosed, and ill-favoured.
Their sheep are like lambs, and their oxen and asses scarcely as big as rams, and
their horses and mules, and all their other cattle, not bigger. Three thousand
of these pigmies are household troops in the service of the king of India. They
ne good archers. hey are very just, and use the same laws as the Indians
do.”

The word Gammachia is rendered by the ancient Biblical commentators,
“ pigmies,” and so the Vulgate has it: “This circumstance,” as Sir Thomas
Browne remarks in his ‘ Enquiries into Vulgar Errors,’ “‘tended greatly to con-
firm the popular belief in the existence of this fabulous race.” Viewed as a
mere fiction, the account of Lilliput did not appear so extravagant in Swift’s
days asit does in ours. Every one has heard the story of the Irish bishop, a
very learned man, who, having read the voyage to Lilliput, said that, ‘there
were some things in it, which he could not believe.”

Gulliver is really an existing name. Swift had evidently forgotten he had
ever heard it, and fancied it an invention of his own: no doubt he was amused
at the discovery of his mistake ; one of that family was a member of the colonial
legislature in Boston. Mr. Jonathan Gulliver, however, was at especial and
needless pains to prove the fact of ‘‘no connexion with the other house” across
the water; it seems he had no wish to be immortalized after so questionable a

fashion.


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CHAPTER III.

THE AUTHOR DIVERTS THE EMPEROR, AND HIS NOBILITY OF BOTH
SEXES, IN A VERY UNCOMMON MANNER. THE DIVERSIONS OF THE
COURT OF LILLIPUT DESCRIBED, THE AUTHOR HAS HIS LIBERTY
GRANTED HIM UPON CERTAIN CONDITIONS.

RD . (9) y gentleness and good behaviour had gained
a dy f ah so far on the emperor and his court, and
a a) indeed upon the army and people in
So RUF general, that I began to conceive hopes of
getting my liberty in a short time. I took
all possible methods to cultivate this favour-
able disposition. The natives came, by
degrees, to be less apprehensive of any
danger from me; I would sometimes lie
down, and let five or six of them dance on
my head; and atlast the boys and girls would venture to come and play
at hide and seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in under-
standing and speaking their language. The emperor had a mind one
day to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they
exceeded all naticns I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence.
I was diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed
upon a slender white thread extended about two feet, and twelve inches
from the ground: upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader’s
patience, to enlarge a little. |

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates
for great employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in
this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or liberal



Q





A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 93

education. ‘When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace
(which often happens), five or six of those candidates petition the
emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope;
and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office.
Very often the chief ministers themselves are commanded to show their
skill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.
Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight rope, at
least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire. I have
seen him do the summerset* several times together, upon a trencher
fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a common packthread in England.
My friend Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs, is in my
opinion, if I am not partial, the second after the treasurer: the rest of
the great officers are much upon a par

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great
numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates
break alimb. But the danger is much greater when the ministers them-
selves are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to
excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly
one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three.
I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would
infallibly have broken his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, that acci-
dentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. The
emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;
one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads are pro-
posed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to dis-
tinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performed
in his majesty’s great chamber of state, where the candidates are to
undergo a trial of dexterity, very different from the former, and such as I
have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of the
new or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends
parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,
sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and
forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed.
Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first minister
the other ; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever
performs his part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping
and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured silk ; the red is given
to the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice

* Sommerset or summersault, a gambol of a tumbler, in which he springs up, turns
heels over head in the air, and comes down upon his feet.
24 GULLIVER’S TRAVELS.

round about the middle; and you see few great persons about this court,
who are not adorned with one of these girdles.




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The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables having been
daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very
feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I
held it on the ground; and one 2f the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large
courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious leap.
I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extra-
ordinary manner, I desired he would order several sticks of two feet
high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; where-
upon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give directions
accordingly ; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many
carriages drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks,
and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet
and a-half square, I took four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each
corner about two feet from the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief
to the nine sticks that stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it
was tight as the top of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about
five inches higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side,
When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his
best horses, twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain.
His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one,
in my hands, ready mounted and armed with the proper officers to exercise
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS, 25

them. As soon as they got into order, they divided into two parties,
performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords,
fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in short, discovered the best
military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and
their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much
delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several days,
and once was pleased to be lifted up, and give the word of command ;
and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself to let me
hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, when she was
able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was my good
fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments ; only once,
a fiery horse that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof,
struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, he overthrew his
rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both, and covering
the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the other, in the same
manner as I took them up. The horse that fell was strained in the left
shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I repaired my handkerchief as
well as I could: however, I would not trust the strength of it any more,
in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was enter-
taining the court with this kind of feats, there arrived an express to
inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place where
I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on the
ground, very.oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as his
majesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man:
that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it lay on
the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it
several times; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had
got tothe top, which was flat and even, and stamping upon it, they
found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might
be something belonging to the man-mountain ; and if his majesty pleased,
they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently
knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this intelligence.
It seems, upon my reaching the shore after our shipwreck, I was in
such confusion, that before I came to the place whcre I went to sleep,
my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was
rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I
came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by some accident,
which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I
entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be brought to me
as soon as possible, describing to him the use and nature of it: and the
next day the wagoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition ;

4

a
26 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and a-half of the
edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks were tied by a
long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above
half an English mile; but, the ground in that country being extremely
smooth and level, it received less damage than J expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of
his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in readiness,
took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired
I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I convenientzy



Yas (Ig

Oya
a





a
i




ib

io

could. He then commanded his general (who was an old experienced
leader and a great patron of mine,) to draw up the troops in close order,
and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the
horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced.
This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His
majesty gave orders, upon pain ef death, that every soldier in his march
GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 27

should observe the strictest decency with regard to my person; which
however could not preven: some of the younger officers from turning up
their eyes as they passed under me; and, to confess the truth, my
breeches were at that time in so ill a condition, that they afforded some
opportunities for laughter and admiration.

I had sent so::many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then in
a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam,
who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal enemy.
But it was carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed by
the emperor. That minister was galbet, or admiral of the realm, very
much in his master’s confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but
of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded
to comply ; but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which I
should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by
himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in
person, attended by two under-secretaries, and several persons of distinc-
tion. After they were read, 1 was demanded to swear to the performance
of them: first in the manner of my own country, and afterwards in the
method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in
my left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the
crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear. But be-
cause the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style and
manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to know the
articles upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of
the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was able, which I
here offer to the public:



olbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most
“AP mighty emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe,
whose domcnions extend five thousand dlusirugs (about twelve miles in
circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs,
taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the centre, and
whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the
earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the
summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as the winter. His most sublime
majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial
dominions, the following articles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be
obliged to perform :

I, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without
our license under our great seal.
98 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

II. He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours
warning to keep within doors.

III. The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of
corn.

IV. As he walks the said roads he shall take the utmost care not to
trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses or
carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands, without their
own consent.

V. If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain
shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a six
days’ journey, once in every moon, and return the said messemger back (if
so required,) safe to our imperial presence.

VI. He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu.*
and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now preparing te
invade us.

VII. That the said man-mountain shall, at his time of leisure, be
aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great
stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our
royal buildings.

VIII. That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver
in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a com-
putation of his own paces round the coast.

Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles,
the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink
sufficient for the support of 1728 of our subjects, with free access to our
~oyal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at
Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign. |

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and
content, although some of them were not so honourable as I could

* In his description of Lilliput, he seems to have had England more immediately
to view. In his description of Blefuseu, he seems to intend the people and king-
dom of France.—Orrery.
, ;
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 29

have wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh
Bolgolam, the high-admiral; whereupon my chains were immediately
unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person,
did me the honour to be by at the whole ceremony. I made my
acknowledgments by prostrating myself at his majesty’s feet: but he
commanded me to rise; and after many gracious expressions, which,
to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall not repeat, he added, ‘that he
hoped I should prove a useful servant, and well deserve all the favours
he had already conferred upon me, or might do for the future.’

The reader may please to observe, that in the last article of the re-
covery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity of
meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1728 Lilliputians. Some
time after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that deter-
minate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians, having
taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and finding it to
exceed theirs in proportion of twelve to one, they concluded, from the
similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1728 of theirs,
and consequently would require as much food as was necessary to sup-
port that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive
an idea of the ingenuity of this people, as well as the prudent and exact
econcmy of so great a prince.
















&



CHAPTER “IV.

MILDENDO, THE METROPOLIS OF LILLIPUT, DESCRIBED, TOGETHER
WITH THE EMPEROR'S PALACE. A CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE
AUTHOR AND THE PRINCIPAL SECRETARY, CONCERNING THE. AFFAIRS
OF THAT EMPIRE. THE AUTHOR OFFERS TO SERVE THE EMPEROR
IN HIS WARS. | |

HE first request I made, after I had obtained
iq] my liberty, was, that I might have license

“aH to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which
aja





ae cB the emperor easily granted me, but with a
Le ; pecial charge to do no hurt either to the
iyi [4,, Inhabitants or their houses. The people

| [ had notice, by proclamation, of my design
j| to visit the town. The wall which en-
\ compassed it, is two feet and a-half high,
\) and at least eleven inches broad, so that a
| coach and horses may be driven very safely
round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I
stepped over the great western gate, and passed very gently and sideling
through the two. principal streets only in my she-t waistcoat, for
fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of
my coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on
any stragglers who might remain in the streets; although the orders
were very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their own

peril, The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with
GULLIVER § TRAVELS. 31

spectarors, that I thought in all my travels I had not scen a more popu-
lous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall bei:g five





























hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across and divide
it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and alleys, which I
could not enter, but only viewed them as I passed, are from twelve to
eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five hundred
thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the shops and
markets well provided.

The emperor’s palace is in the centre of the city where the two great
streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty feet
distant from the building. I had his majesty’s permission to step over
this wall; and the space being so wide between that and the palace, I
could easily view it on every side. The outward court is a square of forty
feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are the royal apart-
ments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult ;
for the great gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches
high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court were
at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride over them
without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls were strongly built
of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the same time, the emperor
nad a great desire that I should see the magnificence of his palace; but
this I was not able to do till three days after, which I spent in cutting down,
with my knife, some of the largest trees in the royal park, about a hun-
So

82 A VOYAGE TO LILLIFUT.

dred yards’ distance from the city. Of these trees I made two stools,
each about three feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The
people having received notice a second time, I went again through the
city to the palace, with my two stools in my hands. WhenI came to
the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the other in
my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down on the space
between the first and second court,.which was eight feet wide. I then







ae
es

stepped over the building very conveniently from one stool to the other,
and drew up the first after me with a hooked stick. By this contrivance
I got into the inner court; and lying down upon my side, I applied my
face to the windows of the middle stories, which were left open on pur-
pose, and discovered the most splendid apartments that could be ima-
gined. ‘There I saw the empress and the young princes, in their several
lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty
was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the
window her hand to kiss.

But I shal] not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this
kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost
ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire,
from its first erection, through a long series of princes; with a particular
account of their wars and politics, laws, learning and religion ; their plants
and animals; their peculiar manners and customs, with others matters
very curious and useful; my chief design at present being only to relate
GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 83

such events and transactions as happened to the public or to myself
during a residence of about nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
Xeldresal, principal secretary (as they style him,) for private affuirs, came
to my house, attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to wait
at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience; which
I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal merits, as
well as of the many good offices he had done me during my solicitationg
at court. I offered to lic down, that he might the more conveniently
reach my ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during
our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty , said “ he
might pretend to some merit in it;” but however added, “ that if it had
not been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not
lave obtained it so soon. For,’ said he, ‘‘ as flourishing a condition as we
may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mighty evils; a
violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion by a most potent
enemy from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for
above seventy moons past there has been two struggling parties in this
empire, under the name Zramecksan and Slamecksan,* from the high and
low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is
alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient
constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make
use only of low heels in the administration of the government, and all
offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe ; and particu-
larly that his majesty’s imperial heels are lower by at least a drurr than
any of his court (drurr is a measure about the fourteenth part of an
inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they
will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the
Lramecksan, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is
wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to
the crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we
can plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other, which
gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine dis-
quiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu,
which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and
powerful as this of his majesty, For as to what we have heard you
affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world inhabited by

* High end low church, or whig and tory. As every accidental difference between
man and man in person and circumstances is by this work rendered extremely
contemptible ; so speculative differences are shown to be equally ridiculous, when
the zeal with which they are opposed and defended too much exceeds their im-
portance—H.

5
$4 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt,
and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of
the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk
would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty’s
dominions: besides, our histories of six thousand’ moons make no men-
tion of any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and
Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell you,
been engaged in a most obstinate war for six and thirty moons past. It
began upon the following occasion: it is allowed on all hands, that the
primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger
end; but his majesty’s grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat
an egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice, happened to
cut one of his fingers; whereupon the emperor his father published an
edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the
smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, that
our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that account;
wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil
commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and
when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire.
It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times ‘suffered
death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many
hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but
the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party
rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the course of
these troubles, the emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate by their
ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion, by offending
against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-
fourth chapter of the Blundecral, which is their Aleoran. This however
is thought to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these:
that all true believers break their eggs at the convenient end; and which
is the convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion, to be left to every
man’s conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate to de-
termine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in the
emperor of Blefuscu’s court, and so much private assistance and encou-
ragement from their private party here at home, that a bloody war has
been carried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons, with
varied success; during which time we have lost forty capital ships,
and a much greater number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thou-
sand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the
enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they
have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make
a descent upon us; and bis imperial majesty, placing great confidence in
QULLIVER’S TRAVELS. vs
your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay this account of his
affairs before you.”

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and
to let him him know, “ that I thought it would not become me, who was
a foreigner, to interfere with parties ; but I was ready, with the hazard
of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.”

* Gulliver without examining the subject of dispute readily engaged to defend
the emperor against invasion; because he knew that no such monarch had a
right to invade the dominions of another for the propagation of truth —H.



ae
We





\.
\




CHAPTER V.





THE AUTHOR, BY AN EXTRAORDINARY STRATAGEM, PREVENTS AN IN-
VASION, A HIGH ‘ITLE OF HONOUR IS CONFERRED UPON HIM.
AMBASSADORS ARRIVE FROM THE EMPEROR OF BLEFUSCU, AND SUE
FOR PEACH. THE EMPRESS’S APARTMENTS ON FIRE BY ACCIDENT;
THE AUTHOR INSTRUMENTAL IN SAVING THE REST OF THE PALACE.

\, HE empire of Blefuscu is an island situated
j tothe north-east of Lilliput, from which it
+ is parted only by a channel of eight hundred
} yards wide, I had not yet seen it, and
} upon this notice of an intended invasion, I
J avoided appearing on that side of the coast,





| enemy’s ships, who had received no intelli_
gence of me; all intercourse between the
==" two empires kaving been strictly forbidden
during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor
upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his majesty a project I
had formed, of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet; which, as our scouts
assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first fair
wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the depth of the
channel, which they had often plumbed ; who told me, that in the middle
at high water it was seventy glumgluffs deep. which is about six feet of
European measure; and the rest of it fifty glumgluffs at most. I
GULLIVER S TRAVELS. : 87

walked towards the north-east coast, over against Blefuscu ; where, lying
down venind a hillock, I took out my small perspective glass, and viewed
the enemy’s fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and
a great number of transports: I then came back to my house, and
gave orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the
strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick
as packthread, and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle.
I trebled the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I
twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a
hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went back to
the north-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and stockings, walkcd
into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an hour before high water,
I waded with what haste I could, and swam in the middle about, thirty
yards, till I felt ground. I arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour.
The enemy were so frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out cf





their ships and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than
thirty thousand souls: I then took my tackling, and fastening a hook to
the hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end.
While 1 was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand
arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face; and, besides the
excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My greatest
apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I
had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little
necessaries, a pair of spectacles, in a private pocket, which, as I observed
88 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

before, had escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took out, and
fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on
boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy’s arrows, many of which
struck against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect
than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the hooks, and
taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would stir, for
they were all too fast held by their anchors; so that the boldest part of my
enterpriseremained. I therefore let go the cord, and leaving the hooks fixed
to the ships, I resolutely cut with my knife the cables that fastened the
anchors, receiving about two hundred shots in my face and hands ; then
I took up the knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks were tied,
and with the greatest ease drew fifty of the enemy’s largest men of war
after me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I intended.
were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me cut the
cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run adrift, or
fall foul of each other: but when they perceived the whole fleet moving
in order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such a scream of
grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or conceive.
When-I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows
that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the same
ointment that was given me on my first arrival, as I have formerly
mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour,
till the tide was a little fallen, ] waded through the middle with my
cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the
issue of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a
large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in
water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet in
pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor concluded
me to be drowned, and that the enemy’s fleet was approaching in
a hostile manner: but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel
growing shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within
hearing, and holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was
fastencd, I cried in a loud voice, ‘‘ Long live the most puissant king
of Lilliput!’? This great prince received me at my landing with all
possible encomiums, and created me a nardue upon the spot, which is the
highest title of honour among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing
all the rest of his enemy’s ships into his ports. And so immeasurable is
the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than
reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing if
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 89

by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling that
people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would remain
the sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him
from this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics of policy as
well as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would: never be an
instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery ;’” and, when
the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were
of my opinion.

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and
politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgiveme. Hemen-
tioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that some
of the wisest appeared at least, by their silence, to be of my opinion; but
others, who were my enemies, could not forbear some expressions which
by aside wind reflected on me; and from this time began an intrigue be-
tween his majesty, and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent against me,
which broke out in less than two months, and had like to have ended in
my utter destruction. Of so little weight are fhe greatest services to
princes, when put into the balance with arefusal to gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy’
from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace; which was soon concluded
upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall
not trouble the reader. ‘There were six ambassadors, with a train of
about five hundred persons: and their entry was very magnificent,
suitable to the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their
business. When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several
good offices by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at
court, their exceliencies, who were privately told how much I had been
their friend, made me a visit in form. They began with many compli-
ments upon my valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom, in
the emperor their master’s name, and desired me to show them some
proofs of my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many
wonders ; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader
with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their infi-
nite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the honour to
present my most humble respects to the emperor their master, the renown
of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with admiration,
and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before I returned to my
own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour to see’ the
emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the Blefuscudian
monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could perceive, ina
very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper
»

40 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

from a certain person, ‘“ that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my
intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection ;” from
which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first time
I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts and ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me by an inter-
preter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each other
as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the antiquity,
beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed contempt of
that of their neighbour: yet our emperor, standing upon the advantage
he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to deliver their cre-
dentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must
be confessed, that from the great intercourse of trade and commerce be-
tween both realms; from the continual reception of exiles which is
mutual among them; and from the custom, in each empire, to send their
young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish them-

elves by seeing the world, and understanding men and manners ;_ there
are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who dwell in the
maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both tongues; as I
found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to the emperor
of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes through the malice
of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me, as I shall relate in
its proper place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon
which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon
account of their being too servile: neither could any thing but an extreme
necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a nardae of the
highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my
dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice) never once mentioned them to
me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing his
majesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed
at midnight by the cries of many hundred people at the door; by which,
being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the word
burglum repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s court, making
their way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the
palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was on fire, by the careless-
ness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a ro-
mance. I got up in an instant; and orders were given to clear the way
before me, and it being likewise a moonlight night, I made a shift to get
to the palace without trampling on any of the people. I found they
had already applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well
provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These
buckets were about the size of a large thimble, and the poor people
*

WLIVER’S TRAVELS.
GULLIVER’S TRA 41

supplied me with them as fast as they could ; but the flame was so
violent that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with my
coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only
in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable
and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burned down to the
ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly
thought of an expedient, }

I had the evening before drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine,
called glimigrim (the Blefuscudians call it flunec, but ours is esteemed the
better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the world,
I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had contracted
by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench them, made
the wine begin to operate by urine; which I voided in such a quantity,
and applied so well to the proper places, that in three minutes the fire
was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cog
so many ages in erecting, preserved from destruction.

It was now daylight, and I returned to my house without waiting
to congratulate the emperor; because, although I had done a very
eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might resent
the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental laws
of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever, to make
water within the precincts of the palace. But I wasa little comforted by
a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders to the grand
justiciary for passing my pardon in form ;” which, however, I could not
obtain ; and I was privately assured, that the empress, conceiving the
greatest abhorence of what I had done, removed to the most distant side
of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings should never be repaired
for her use; and, in the presence of her chief confidants, could not
forbear vowing revenge.


CHAPTER VI.

OF THE INHABITANTS OF LILLIPUT ; THEIR LEARNING, LAWS, AND
CUSTOMS; THE MANNER OF EDUCATING THEIR CHILDREN. THE
AUTHOR’S WAY OF LIVING IN THAT COUNIRY. HIS VINDICATION
OF A GREAT LADY.














f La min] LTHOUGH I intend to leave the description

= fiji, of this empire to a particular treatise, yet,
in the mean time, I am content to gratify
the curious reader with some general ideas.
As the common size of the natives is some-
what under six inches high, so there is an

exact proportion in all other animals, as well

Tt
























as plants and trees: for instance, the tallest
SO la horses and oxen are between four and five
SS ches in height, the sheep an inch and
a-half, more or less; their geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so
the several gradations downwards, till you come to the smallest, which,
to my sight, were almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of
the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they.see with great
exactness, but at no great distance. And to show the sharpness ot
their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased with
observing a cook pulling a lark which was not as large as the common
fly; and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk.
Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in














GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 43

the great royal pars, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my
fistclenched. The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this
I leave to the reader’s imagination,

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many ages,
has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner of
writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, like the
Europeans; nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians ; nor from
up to down, like the Chinese ; but, aslant, from one corner of the paper
to the other, like ladies in England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downwards, because
they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise





















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat,) will
turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, be
found ready standing on their feet, The learned among them confess the
absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in com-
pliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if
they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I
should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to be
wished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention, relates to
informers. All crimes against the state are punished here with the
utmost severity ; but, if the person accused makes his innocence plainly
44 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put to an ignominious
death ; and out of his goods or lands the innocent person is quadruply
recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for
the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at
in making his defence ; or, if that fund be insufficient, it is largely supplied
by the crown. The emperor also confers on him some public mark of
his favour, and proclamation of his innocence is made throughout the
whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s
goods from thieves, but honesty has no fence against superior cunning ;
and since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of
buying and selling, and dealing upon credit; where fraud is permitted
and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is always
undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was
once interceding with the king for a criminal who had wronged his
master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order, and
ran away with; and happened to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation,
that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in
me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly
Thad little to say in return, further than the common answer, that
different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was heartily
ashamed.* :

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon
which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be
put in practice by any nation, except that of Lilliput. Whoever can
there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of his
country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges, ac-
cording to his quality or condition in life, with a proportionate sum of
money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the
title of snilpall, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not
descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious
defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws were enforced
only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this account
that the image of Justice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with six
eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify cir-
cumspection ; with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a sword
sheathed in her left, to show she is more disposed to reward than to
punish.

* An act of parliament has been since passed, by which some breaches of trust
have been made capital.


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 45

' In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to
good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to”
mankind, they believe that the common size of human understanding is
fitted to some station or other; and fhat Providence never intended to
make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended
only by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there are seldom three
born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance and the like,
to be in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by
experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service’ of
his country, except where a course of study is required. But they
thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied by _
superior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put
into such dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified ; and at least,
that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in. a virtuous disposition
would never’ be of:such fatal consequence to the public weal, as the
practices of a man, whose inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who
had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and defeiud his corruptions.

Jn like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
incapable of holding any public station: for since kings avow themselves
to be the’ deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be

‘ more absurd than for a: prince- to employ such men as disown the |
authority under which he.acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood
to mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions,
into which these people are. fallen by the degenerate. nature of man.
For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great employments by
dancing on the ropes,.or badges of favour and distinction by leaping
over sticks and creeping under them, the reader is to cbserve, that they
were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning,
and grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and
faction. :

Ingratitude.is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been
in,some other countries: for they reason-thus: that whoever makes ill
return to his benefactor, must needs be.a common enemy to the’ rest of
mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such
a man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating tothe duties of parents and children differ
extremely from ours. For since the conjunction of male and female is -
founded upon the great law of nature, in order-to propagate and continue

’ the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women are
joined together, like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence ;
and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds fromthe like
46 ; A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

natural principle: for which reason, they will never allow that a child is
under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother for
bringing him into the world: which, considering the miseries of human
life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose
thoughts, in their love encounters, were otherwise employed. Upon
these, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are the last
of all others to be trusted with the education of their own children; and
therefore they have in every town public nurseries, where all parents,
except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to serid their infants of both
sexes to be reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty
moons, at which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility.
These schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both
sexes. They have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for
such a condition of life as befits the ranks of their parents, and their own
caprices as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the male
nurseries, and then of the female.































Ue vy ih BT
Oe

2 i ot
SE vil"



The nurseries for males ot noble or eminent birth, are provided with
grave and learned professors and their several deputies. The clothes and
food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the prin-
ciples of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, and
love of their country ; they are always employed in some business, ex-
cept in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and two
_GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 47

hours for diversions, consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by
men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves,
although their quality be ever so great; and the women attendants, who
are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial
offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go together
in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, and always in the
presence of a professor, or one of his deputies ; whereby they avoid those
early bad impressions of folly and vice, to which our children are subject.
Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year: the visit is to
last but an hour; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and
parting; but a professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will
not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions, or bring any
presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment
of achild, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's
officers.

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders,
and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only
those designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old:
whereas, those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till fifteen,
which answers to twenty-one with us; but the confinement is gradually
lessened for the last three years.

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much
like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own
sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they come
to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found that
these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with frightful or foolish
stories, or the common follies practised by chambermaids among us, they
are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned for a year, and
banished for life to the most desolate part of the country. Thus, the
young ladies there are ag much ashamed of being cowardsand fools as the
men; and despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness:
neither did I perceive any difference in their education made by their
difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were not
altogether so robust: and that some rules were given them relating to
domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was enjoined them: for
their maxim is, that among people of quality, a wife should always be a
reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be
young. When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is the
marriageable age, their parents or guardians take them home, with great
expressions of gratitude to the professors, and seldom without the tears
cf the young lady and her companions.
48 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their several
degrees ; those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven years old;
the rest are kept to eleven.

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged,
beside their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to
the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to be
a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in their
expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more
anjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites, to bring
children into the world, and leave the burden of supporting them on the
vublic. As to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a
.ertain sum for each child, suitable to their condition: and these funds
are always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their
business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their

ducation is of little consequence to the public: but the old and diseased
among them are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown
in this empire.

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some
account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,
auring a residence of nine months and thirteen days. Having a head
mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made
for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest trees in
the royal park. Two hundred seampstresses were employed to make me
shirts, and linen, for my bed and table, all of the strongest and coarsest
kind they could get; which however, they were forced to quilt together
in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn.
Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece.
The seampstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing
at my neck, and another at my middle, with a strong cord extended,
that each held by the end, while a third measured the length of the
cord with the rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right
thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that
twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck
and waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the
ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly, Three hundred
tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes; but
they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled. down
and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck ; upon this ladder
one of them mounted, and let fall a plumbline from my collar to the
floor, which just answered the length of my coat; but my waist and
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 49

arms [ measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was
done in my house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to
hold them), they looked like the patch-work made by ladies in England,
only that mine were al! of acolour.





































































































































==

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient
huts, built about my house, where they and their families lived, and pre-
pared two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand and placed
them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the ground, some
with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and other liquors slung
on their shoulders : all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, ina
very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well
in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their
liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but their beef is
excellent. I have hada sirloin so large that I have been forced to make
three bites ofit; but this is rare. My servants were astonished to see me
eat it bones and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese
and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours.
Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living,
desired “that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of
the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,” as he was pleased
to call it, “‘of dining with me.” They came accordingly, and I placed
them in chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with their
guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there
likewise with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on me

”

{
50 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate more
than usual in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with
admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit from his
majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his mas-
ter. That minister had always been my secret enemy, though he out-
wardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness of his nature.
He represented to the emperor “ the low condition of his treasury; that
he was forced to take’ up money at a great discount; that exchequer
bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par; that I had cost
his majesty above a million and a half of sprugs (their greatest gold coin,
about the bigness of a spangle); and, upon the whole, that it would be
advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasion of dismissing me.”

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who
was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy
to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who
informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my
person ; and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came
privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous
falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased
to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own
she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three



more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and
some particular acquaintance: but this was common to many other
ladies of the court: and I will appeal to my servants around, whether
they at any time saw a coach at my door without their knowing what per-
sons were in it. On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 51

my custom was to go immediately to the door; and, after paying my
respects, to take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands
(for, if there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four),
and place them on a table, where I had fixed a moveable rim quite round,
of five inches high, to prevent accidents; and I have often had four
coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I sat in
my chair leaning my face towards them; and while I was engaged with
one set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table.
I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations.
But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let
them make the best of it), Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person
ever came to me tncognito, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent
by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related.
I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been
a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to
say nothing of my own; though I then had the honour to bea nardae,
which the treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is
only a glumglum, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to
a duke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post.
These false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by
an accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his lady for
some time an ill countenance, and-me a worse; and although he was at
last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and
found my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was,
indeed, too much governed by that favourite.




















































































































































































6



CHAPTER VII.

THE AUTHOR, BEING INFORMED OF A DESIGN TO ACCUSE HIM OF

HIGH TREASON, MAKES HIS ESCAPE TO BLEFUSCU. HIS RECEPTION
THERE,

EFORE I proceed to give an account of my
leaving this kingdom, it may be proper to
inform the reader of a private intrigue, which
had been for two months forming against
me.

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger
to courts, for which I was unqualified by
the meanness of my condition. I had, in-
deed, heard and read enough of the dispo-
sitions of great princes and ministers ; but
never expected to have found such terrible
effects of them in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very
different maxims from those in Europe.

While I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of
Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been very ser-
viceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his
imperial majesty.) came to my house very privately at night, in a close
chair; and, without sending in his name, desired admittance. The chair-
men were dismissed ; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my


GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 53

coat-pocket ; and, giving orders to a trusty servant to say I was indis-
posed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed the
chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by it.
After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship’s coun-
tenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired “I
would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my
honour and my life.’ His speech was to the following effect, for I took
notes of it as soon as he left me :—

“You are to know,” said he, “ that several committees of council have
lately been called in the most private manner, on your account; and it is
but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.

“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam ( gadbet or high-ad-
miral,) has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your arrival. His
original reasons I know not ; but his hatred is increased since your great
success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as admiral is much obscured.
This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap, the high-treasurer, whose enmity
against you is notorious on account of his lady; Limtoc, the general;
Lalcon, the chamberlain; and Balmuff, the grand justiciary, have pre-
pared articles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capital
crimes.”



This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits
_and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me
to be silent, and thus proceeded :—
54 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

“Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured infor-
mation of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles; wherein I
ventured my head for your service.”

ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST QUINBUS
FLESTRIN, THE MAN-MOUNTAIN.

ARTICLE }

‘Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty,
Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water within
the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and penalties
of high treason; notwithstanding, the same Quinbus Flestrin, in open
breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire kindled in
the apartment of his majesty’s most dear imperial consort, did maliciously,
traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said
fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of
the said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc.
against the duty, efc.

Articie II.

‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of
Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his
imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of Blefuscu,
and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a viceroy from
hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the Big-endian exiles,
but likewise all the people of that empire who would not immediately
forsake the Big-endian heresy ; he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor
against his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did petition to
be excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to
force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an innocent
people.*

Articte III.

‘That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the court of Blefuscu,
to sue for peace in his majesty’s court; he, the said Flestrin, did, like a
false traitor, aid, abet, comfort and divert, the said ambassadors, although

*A lawyer thinks himself honest, if he does the best he can for his client; anda
statesman, if he promote the interests of his country; but the Dean here inculcates
o higher notion of right and wrong, and obligations to a larger community.—H.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 35

ne knew them to be servants to a prince who was lately an open enemy
to his imperial majesty, and in an open war against his said majesty,

ARTICLE IV.

‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithfu.
subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of
Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his imperial
majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely and traitor-
ously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and
abet the emperor of Blufuscu, so lately an enemy, and in open war with
his imperial majesty aforesaid.’

‘“* There are some other articles ; but these are the most important, of
which J. have read you an abstract.

“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed
that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging the
services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes.
The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most
painful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night;
and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with
poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your
servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your
shirts and sheets, which would soon make you. tear your own flesh, and
die in the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion
so that, for along time, there was a majority against you; but. his
majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last bought off the
chamberlain.

‘Upon this incident, Reldresal, principle secretary for private affairs,
who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by the
emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and therein
justified the good thoughts you have of him. . He allowed your crimes
to be great, but that there was still room for mercy, the most commend-
able virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly celebrated.
He said, the friendship between you and him was so well known to the
world, that perhaps the most honourable board might think him partial.
however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would freely
offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of your
services, and pursuant to his own merciful disposition, would please to
spare your life, and only give orders to put out both your eyes, he
humbly conceived, that by this expedient justice might in some measure
be satisfied, and all the world would applaud the lenity of the emperor,
as well as the fair and generous proceedings of those who have the
56 A VOYAGE TU LILLIPUT.

honour to be his counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no
impediment to your bodily strength, by which you might still be useful
to his majesty: that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing
dangers from us: that the fear you had for your eyes, was the greatest
difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet; and it would be sufficient
for you to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the greatest princes do
no more.

“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the
whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper; but
rising up in a fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to
give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor: that the services
you had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the great aggravation
of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the flames by the
discharge of urine into her majesty’a apartment (which he mentioned with
horror,) might, at another time, raise an inundation by the same means,
to drown the whole palace; and the same strength, which enabled you
to bring over the enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to
carry it back: that he had good reasons to think that you were a Big-
endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the heart before it appears
in overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that account, and there-
fore insisted you should be put to death.

“The treasurer was of the same opinion; he showed to what straits
his majesty’s revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you,
which would soon grow insupportable: that the secretary’s expedient of
putting out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this evil,
that it would probably increase it, as is manifest from the common
practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed the faster,
and grew sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the council, who are
your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully convinced of your
guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without
the formal proofs required by the strict letter of the law.*

“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment,
was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought the loss of
your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted hereafter.
And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard again, in
answer to what the treasurer had objected, concerning the great charge

* There is something so odious in whatever is wrong, that even those whom it
does not subject to punishment, endeavour to colour it with an appearance of
right; but the attempt is always unsuccessful, and only betrays a consciousness
of deformity by showing a desire to hide it. Thus, the Lilliputian court pretended
a right to dispense with the strict letter of the law to put Gulliver to death, though
by the strict letter of the law, he could be only convicted of a crime; the intention
of the statute not being to suffer the palace rather to be burnt than defiled. —H.
er

THE HAUNTED MILL. 54

he grew aged in his labours; but never thought of
retiring from business. The older he grew the more
he seemed attached to his mealing business.

Nature, however, began to decay ; his knees began
to bend; and yet he would crawl up the mill ladder
to the very last. When quite confined to his cham-
ber, he chose that which looked towards the mill, and
used to sit and watch the sails go round in childish
pleasure—it was his second childhood.. But the last
hour approached, and with that restlessness which
often precedes the fatal hour, he begged to be carried
forth in the warm sunshine, to be drawn’ round the
mill in his garden-chair. The wish was complied
with, and the faithful partner of his life, and his only
son, guided it and pushed it along, to the delight of
the old man’s heart.

Sitting in his easy garden-chair, propped up with
pillows, and tied in, for fear. of accidents, the old
man was drawn round and round the mill. At his
request he was placed close enough to hear the swing
of the sails. “I like to hear the creak of them,”
the old man said, “and the swoop of the wind as
they pass. There, that will do. And now, Jeremy,”
said he to his son, who stood by him, “I shall not
be long here; but promise me that you will keep the
mill going.” Jeremiah promised, but with no inten-
tion of ever performing. ;

“T tell you, boy,” said the old man, after a hearty
fit of coughing, for the air on the mill hill was too
58 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

a judge of things, that I could not discover the lenity and favour of this
sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) to be rather rigorous













than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial; for although I
could not deny the facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they
would admit of some extenuation. But having in my life perused many
state-trials, which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit
to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical a
juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once, I was strongly
bent upon resistance: for while I had liberty, the whole strength of that
empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily with stones pelt the
metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that project with horror,
by remembering the oath I had made to the emperor, the favours I
received from him, and the high title of nardac he conferred upon me,
Neither had I so soon learned the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade
myself that his majesty’s present severities acquitted me of all past
obligations.

At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable f may incur
some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the preserving of
mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great rashness and
want of experience; because, if I had then known the nature of princes
and ministers, which I have since observed in many other courts, and
their methods of treating criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should,
with great alacrity and readiness, have submitted to so easy 2 punish-
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 59

ment. But hurried on by the precipitancy of youth, and having his
imperial majesty’s license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of
Blefuscu, I took this opportunity, before the three days were elapsed, to
send a letter to my friend the secretary, signifying my resolution of
setting out that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got;
and, without waiting for an answer, I went to that side of the island
where our fleet lay. I seized a large man of war, and tied the cable to
the prow ; and, lifting up the anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes
(together with my coverlet, which I carried under my arm,) into the
vessel, and drawing it after me, between wading and swimming arrived
at the royal port of Blefuscu, where the people had long expected me.
They lent me two guides to direct me to the capital city, which is of the
same name: I held them in my hands, till I came within two hundred
yards of the gate, and desired them “ to signify my arrival to one of the
secretaries, and let him. know I there waited his majesty’s commands.”
{ had an answer in about an hour, “that his majesty, attended by the
royal family and great officcrs of the court, was coming out to receive
_me.” T advanced a hundred yards. The emperor and his train alighted





































































































from their horses, the empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did
not perceive they were in any fright or concern. I lay on the ground
to kiss his majesty and the empress’s hands. I told his majesty, ‘ that
IT was come according to my promise, and with the license of the
60 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

emperor my master, to have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch,
and to offer him any service in my power, consistent with my duty to my
own prince; not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had
hitherto no regular information of it, and might suppose myself wholly
ignorant of any such design; neither could I reasonably conceive that
the emperor would discover the secret, while I was out of his power;
wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my
reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so great
a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house and bed,
being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet












































































































































































































































































































































304

EXPOSTULATORY EPISTLE
PROM

MARY GULLIVER TO CAPTAIN LEMUEL GULLIVER.



The Captain, some time after his return, being retired to Mr. Sympson’s in the country, Mrs.
Gulliver, apprehending from his late behaviour some estrangement of his affections, wrote him
the following expostulatory, soothing, aud tenderly complaining Epistle.



Wexcome! thrice welcome to thy native place!
—What! touch me not? What! shun a wife’s embrace ?
Have I for this thy tedious absence borne,
And waked and wish’d whole nights for thy return ?
In five long years I took no second spouse ;
What Redriff wife so long hath kept her vows?
Your eyes, your nose, inconstancy betray ;
Your nose you stop, your eyes you turn away.
’Tis said that thou should’st cleave unto thy wife ;—
Once thou did’st cleave, and I could cleave for life :
Hear and relent! Hark how thy children moan;
Be kind at least to these, they are thy own,—
Behold, and count them all; you're sure to find
The honest number that you left behind.
See how they pat thee with their pretty paws :—
Why start you? Are they snakes? or have they claws ?
Thy Christian seed,—our mutual flesh and bone:
Be kind at least to these, they are thy own.

Beddell, like thee, might farthest India rove;
He changed his country, but retain'd his love.
There’s Captain Pannell, absent half his life,
Comes back, and is the kinder to his wife ;
Yet Pannell’s wife is brown compared to me,
And Mistress Beddell, sure, is fifty-three.

Not touch me !—Never neighbour call’d me slut
Was Flimnap’s dame more sweet in Lilliput?
I’ve no red hair to breathe an odious fume ;
At least thy consort’s cleaner than thy groom;
Why chen that dirty stable-boy thy care?
What mean those visits to the sorrel mare?
Say by what witchcraft or what demon led,
Preferr'st thou litter to thy marriage bed?
43

APPENDIX, 305

Some say the devil himself is in that mare;

If so our Dean shall drive him forth by prayer.

Some think you mad, some think you are possessed,

‘That Bedlam and clean straw will suit you best.

Vain means, alas! this frenzy to appease!

That straw, that straw would heighten the disease.
My bed (the scene of all our former joys—

Witness two lovely girls, two lovely boys),

Alone I press; in dreams I call my dear;

I stretch my hand, no Gulliver is there!

I wake, I rise, and shivering with the frost,

Search all the house—my Gulliver is lost !

Forth in the street I rush with frantic cries;

The windows open and the neighbours rise ;

“Where sleeps my Gulliver? O tell me where?”

The neighbours answer, ‘‘ With the sorrel mare.”
At early morn I to the market haste,

(Studious in everything to please thy taste)

A curious fowl and ’sparagus I chose,

(For I remember you were fond of those) ;

Three shillings cost the first, the last seven groats ;—

Sullen you turn’d from both, and called for oats.
Others bring goods and treasures to their houses,

Something to deck their pretty babes and spouses ;

My only token was a cup-like horn,

That's made of nothing but a lady’s corn:

'Tis not for that I grieve—O, ’tis to see

The groom and sorrel mare preferr’d to me!
These for some moments when you deign to quit,

And (at due distance) sweet discourse permit,

’Tis all my pleasure thy past toil to know,

For pleased remembrance builds delight on woe.

At every danger pants thy consort’s breast,

And gaping infants squall to hear the rest.

How did I tremble, when by thousands bound,

I saw thee stretch’d on Lilliputian ground ;

When scaling armies climb'd up every part,

Each step they trod, I felt upon my heart.

Those spectacles ordain’d thine eyes to save,

Were once my present;—love that armour gave.

tlow did I mourn at Bolgolam’s decree!

For when he sign’d thy death, he sentenced me.
When folks might see thee all the country round

For sixpence, I’d have given a thousand pound.

Lord! when the giant babe that head of thine

Got in his mouth, my heart was up in mine!

When in the marrow-bone I[ see thee ramm’d,

Or on the house-top by the monkey cramm’d
306 APPENDIX.

The piteous images renew my pain,

And all thy dangers I weep o'er again.
Glumdalclitch too!—with thee I mourn her case ;
Heaven guard the gentle girl from all disgrace !
O, may the king that one neglect forgive,

And pardon her the fault by which I live!

Was there no other way to set him free?

My life, alas! I fear proved death to thee.

O teach me, dear, new words to speak my flame,
Teach me to woo thee by thy best loved name,
Whether the style of Grildrig please thee most,

So call'd on Brobdingnag’s stupendous coast,
When on the monarch’s ample hand you sate,

And halloo’d in his ear intrigues of state:

Or Quinbus Flestrin more endearment brings,
When, like a mountain, you look’d down on kings :
If ducal Nardac, Lilliputian peer,

Or Glumglum’s humbier title soothe thine ear;

Nay, would kind Jove my organs so dispose,

To hymn harmonious Houyhnhnm through the nose,
I'd call thee Houyhnhnm, that high-sounding name,—
Thy children’s noses all should twang the same.

So might I find my loving spouse of course,
FEndow'd with all the virtues of a horse.




CHAPTER VIII.

THE AUTHOR, BY A LUCKY ACCTDENT, FINDS MEANS TO LEAVE BLE~
FUSCU:; AND, AFTER SOME DIFFICULTIES, RETURNS SAFE TO HIS

NATIVE COUNTRY.

curiosity, to the north-east coast of the
| island, I observed, about half a league off
Hal in the sea, somewhat that looked like a bout
overturned. I pulled off my shoes and
stockings, and, wading two or three hun-
W)| dred yards, I found the object to approach
Ma} nearer by’ force of the tide; and then
plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I
} supposed might by some tempest have





whereupon I returned immediately towards
the city, and desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the
tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand
seamen, under the command of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round
while I went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered
the boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seaman were
all provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient
strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I
came within a hundred yards of the boat, after which I was forced to
62 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

swim till I got up to ic. The seamen threw me the end of the cord which
‘ fastened to a hole in the forepart of the boat, and the other end toa
man of war; but found all my. labour to littie purpose; for, being out
of my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity I was forced to
swim behind, and push the boat forward, as often as I could with one
of my hands; and the tide favouring me, I advanced so far that I could
just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested two or three
minutes, and then gave the boat ‘another shove, and so on, till the sea
was no higher than my arm-pits ; and now the most laborious part being
over, I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the ships,
and fastened them first to‘ the boat,and then to nine of the vessels
which attended me; the wind being favourable, the seamen towed, and
I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore, and waiting
till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat; and by the assistance of two
thousand men, with ropes and engines, made a shift to turn it on its
bottom, and found it was but little damaged.





































































AVES
——S= —— ALFREDN!















peor”



{ shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by the
help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my boat
into the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people ap-
peared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a
vessel. I told the emperor, “ that my good fortune had thrown this boat
in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return to my
native country; and begged his majesty’s orders for getting materials to
GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 63

fit it up; together with his license to depart ;” which, after some kind
expostulations, he was pleased to grant.

Idid very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard* of any
express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But
1 was afterwards given privately to understand, that his imperial majesty,
never imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I was
only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the
license he had given me, which was well known at our court, and would
return in a few days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was at
last in pain at my long absence ; and after consulting with the treasurer
and the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was despatched with the
copy of the articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent
to the monarch of Blefuscu, “ the great lenity of his master, who was
content to punish me no further than the loss of mine eyes; that I had
fled from justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I should be
deprived of my title of nardac, and declared a traitor.” The envoy further
added, ‘‘that in order to maintain the peace and amity between both
empires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu would give
orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be
punished as a traitor.”

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned
an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said, “that, as
for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that although

had deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me for
many good offices: I had done him in making the peace. That, how-
ever, both their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found a
prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he had
given orders to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and he
hoped ina few weeks both empires would be freed from so insupportable
an incumbrance.”

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput, and the monarch of
Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the same time
(but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I would con-
tinuein his service; wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet Iresolved
never more to put any confidence in princes or ministers, where I could
possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due acknowledgment of his
favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told hin, “ that
since fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I

* “JT did very much wonder not to have heard,” &c. This sentence is ungram-
matical; it should have been, “I did very much wonder, in all this time, at not
having heard of any express,” &c.—S.
64 A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be an occasion
of difference between two such mighty monarchs.” Neither did I find’
the emperor at all displeased; and I discovered, by a certain accident,
that he was very glad of my resolution, and so were most of his
ministers.

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat
sooner than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone,
very readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to
make two sails to my boat according to my directions, by quilting
thirteen folds of their strongest linen together. Iwas at the pains of
making ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty or thirty, of the thickest
and strongest of theirs. A great stone that 1 happened to find, after a
long search, by the sea-shore, served me for’an anchor. IT had the tallow
of three hundred cows for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at
ineredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber trees for oars
and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his majesty’s ship-
carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done the

rough work.

































ALE CED WE LE

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his majesty’s
commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family came
out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which he very
graciously gave me; so did the empress and the young princes of the
blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 65

sprugs a-piece, together with his picture at full length, which I put im
mediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The cere-
monies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with at this
time. :

I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen and three hundred
sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat ready
dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six cows and
two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into
my own country, and propagate the breed ; and to feed them on board, I
had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn, I would gladly have taken
a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by
no mearis permit ; and, besides a diligent search into my pockets, his
majesty engaged my honour “not to carry away any of his subjects,
although with their own consent and desire.”

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on the
twenty-fourth day of September, 1701, at six in the morning; and when
I had gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at the
south-east, at six in the evening, I descried a small island, about half a
league to the north-west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the
lee-side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took
some refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, as J conjecture
at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours, after I
awoke. It was aclear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun was
up; and heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the same
course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by
my pocket-compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of
those islands which I had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van
Diemen’s Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next,
about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made
twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the
south-east; my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no
answer; yet I found that I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I
made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung
out her ancient and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy
I was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved
country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her sails,
and I came up with her between five and six in the evening, September
26th; but my heart leaped within me tosee her English colours. I put my
cows and sheep into my coat pocket, and got on board with all my little
cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English merchantman, returning
from Japan by the North and South seas; the captain, Mr. John Biddle
of Deptford, a very civil man, and an excellent sailor, We were now in

9
66 VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

the latitude 30 degrees south; there were about fifty men in the ship ;
and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave
me a good character to the captain. This gentleman treated me with
kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I came from last,
and whither I was bound; which I did in a few words, but he thought
J was raving, and that the dangers I had underwent* had disturbed my
head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket,
which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity.
I then showed him the gold given me by the emperor of Blefuscu,
together with his majesty’s picture at full length, and some other
rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundred sprugs
each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him a present
of a cow and a sheep big with young.

“Np

cS i
ilo Sy fT ] fh !






































Hah hv

it |

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this voyage,
which was very prosperous’ for the most part, We arrived in the Downs
on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the rats on
poard carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a hole
picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe ashore,
and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green at Greenwich, where the
fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though I had always
feared the contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved them in so

* “T had underwent,” is not Englisi:; it should have been “I had undergone,”
or,‘ I underwent.”—S.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 67

long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his best
biscuit, which, rubbed to powder and mingled with water, was their
constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a
considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and
others: and before I began my second voyage I sold them for six
hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed is considerably
increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the
advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the fineness of their fleeces.

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable
desire of seeing foreign countries would suffer me to continue no longer.
I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a good house
at Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in money and
part in goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle, John,
had left me an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty pounds a year;
and I had a long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter Lane, which yielded
me as much more; so that I was not in any danger of leaving my family
upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at the
grammar-school, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty (who is now
well married, and has children,) was then at her needle-work. I took
leave of my wife and boy and girl with tears on both sides, and went on
board the Adventure, a merchant ship of three hundred tons, bound for
Surat, captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool, commander. But my account
of this voyage must be referred to the second part of my travels.








































88

TO QUINBUS FLESTRIN, THE MAN-MOUNTAIN.

An Bde,

BY TITTY TIT, ESQ,

POET LAUREAT TO HIS MAJESTY OF LILLIPUT.

Translated into English.



In amaze,

Lost, I gaze!

Can our eyes
Reach thy size !
May my lays
Swell with praise !
Worthy thee
Worthy me!
Muse inspire

All thy fire.

Bards of old

Of him told,
When they said
Atlas’ head
Propp’d the skies :

See, and believe your eyes.

See him stride
Valleys wide,
Over woods,

Over floods.
When he treads
Mountains’ heads
Groan and shake ;
Armies quake,
Lest his spurn
Overturn

Man and steed:
Troops take heed !
Left and right,
Speed your flight!
Lest an host

Beneath his foot be lost.

Turn’d aside .
From his hide,
Safe from wound
Darts rebound ;
From his nose
Clouds he blows ;
‘When he speaks,
Thunder breaks !
‘When he eats,
Famine threats 5
When he drinks,
Neptune shrinks !
Nigh thy ear,
In mid air,
On thy hand
Let me stand,
So shall I,

Lofty poet, touch the sky.




























































































A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

CHAPTER I.

A GREAT sTORM DESCRIBED; THE LONG-BOAT SENT TO FETCH WATER 5
THE AUTHOR GOES WITH IT TO DISCOVER THE COUNTRY. HE IS
LEFT ON SHORE, IS SEIZED BY ONE OF THE NATIVES, AND CARRIED
TO A FARMER’S HOUSE. HIS RECEPTION, WITH SEVERAL ACCIDENTS
THAT HAPPENED THERE. A DESCRIPTION OF THE INHABITANTS.

Avine been condemned, by nature and
fortune, to an active and restless life,
in two months after my return, I again
left my native country, and took ship-
ping in the Downs, on the 20th day
of June, 1702, in the Adventure, cap-
tain John Nicholas, a Cornishman, com-
mander, bound for Surat. We had a
very prosperous gale, till we arrived at
the Cape of Good Hope, where. we
landed for fresh water; but discovering
a leak, we unshipped our goods, and wintered there; for the captain
falling sick of an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March.
We then set sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of
Madagascar; but having got northward of that island, and to about five
degrees south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to


70 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

blow a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the begin-
ning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began
to blow with much greater violence, and more westerly than usual, con-
tinuing so for twenty days together: during which time, we were driven
a little to the east of Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward
of the line, as our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of
May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat
I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in the
navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which ac-
cordingly happened the day following; for the southern wind, called
the southern monsoon, began to set in.

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and stood
by to hand the fore-sail; but, making foul weather, we looked the guns
were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so we
thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. We
reefed the fore sail, and set him, and hauled aft the fore-sheet; the helm
was hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore
down-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and
got the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was
a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled
off upon the laniard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm.
We would not get down our top-mast, but let all stand, because she
scudded before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being
aloft, the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea,
seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set fore-sail and
main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen, main-top-
rail,and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-east, the wind was
at south-west. We got the starboard tacks aboard; we cast off our
the weather-bowlings, weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces,
and hauled them tight, and belayed them; and hauled over the mizen
and hauled forward by tack to windward, and kept her full and by as near
as she would lie.

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-
west, we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to
the east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of
the world we were. Our provisions held out well; our ship was staunch,
and our crew all in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for
water. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turn
more northerly, which might have brought us to the north-west part of
Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the topmast discovered land.
On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island or continent (for we
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 71

knew not whether); on the suuth side whereof was a small neck of
land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of
above one hundred tons. We cast anchor within a league of this creek, and



ies

ee

our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the long-boat, with
vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with
them, that I might see the country, and make what discoveries I could.
When we came to land, we saw no river, or spring, nor any sign of in-
nabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out some
fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on the. other
side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I now began
to be weary, and secing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned
gently down towards the creek; and the sea being full in my view, Isaw
our men already got into the boat, and rowing for life to the ship. I was
going to holla after them, although it had been to little purpose, when I
observed a huge creature walking after them in the sea, as fast as he
could: he waded not much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious
strides: but our men had the start of him half a league, and the sea
thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not able
72 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not stay to
see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast as I could the way I first
went, and then climbed up a steep hill, which gave me some prospect of
the country. I found it fully cultivat«1; but that which first surprised
me was the length of the grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to
be kept for hay, was about twenty feet high.

I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the
inhabitants only as a foot-path, through a field of barley. Here I walked
on for some time, but could see little on either side, it being now near
harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an hour walking to
the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge of at least one
hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make
no computation of their altitude. There was a stile to pass from this
field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone to cross over when
you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb this stile,
because every step was six feet high, and the upper stone about twenty.
I was endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered
one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the stile, of
the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing our boat. He
appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took about ten yards at
every stride, as near as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost fear
and astonishment, and ran to hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him
at the top of the stile looking back into the next field on the right hand,
and heard him call in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking-
trumpet; but the noise was so high in the air, that at first I certainly
thought it was thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came
4owards him, with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the
-argeness of six scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first,
whose servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he
spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. Ikept from
them at as a great a distance as I could, but was forced to move with
extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above a
foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. How-
ever I made a shift to go forward, till I come to a part of the field where
the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for
me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could not
crecp through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and pointed, that
they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I
heard the reapers not above a hundred yards behind me. Being quite
dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and despair, I lay down
between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my days. I
bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children. I lamented my
‘i GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 78

own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second voyage, against’ the
advice of all mv friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind,



I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon
me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world; where I was
able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those other
actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that empire ;
while posterity shall hardly believe them, although attested by millions.
I reflected what a mortification it must prove to me to appear as in-
considerable in this nation, as one single Lilliputian would be among us.
But this I conceived was to be the least of my misfortunes; for, as
human creatures are observed to be more savage and cruel in proportion
to their bulk, what could I expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the
first among these enormous barbarians who should happen to seize me?
Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us nothing is
‘great or little otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased
fortune, to have let the Lilliputians find some nation, where the people
were as diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who
10
74 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

knows but that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally
overmatched in some distant part of the world, whereof we have yet no
discovery?

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with
these reflections, when one of the reapers approaching within ten yards of
the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I
should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his reap-
ing-hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I screamed
as loud as fear could make me; whereupon the huge creature trod short,
and looking round about under him for some time, at last espied me as I
lay on the ground. He considered awhile, with the caution of one who
endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that
it shall not be able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself had sometimes
done with a weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me be-





Ws es
\ |
at Wy \

ANU

a Sth

Y Ww

hind, by the middle, between his fore-finger and thumb, and brought me
within three yards of his eyes, that he might behold my shape more per-
fectly. I guessed his meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 75

presence of mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held
‘me in the air, above sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously
pinched my sides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ven-
tured was to raise mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together
in a supplicating posture, and to speak some words in an humble melan-
choly tone, suitable to the condition I then was in: for I apprehended every
moment that he would dash me against the ground, as we usually do any
little hateful animal which we have a mind to destroy.* But my good star
would have it, that he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and
began to look upon me asa curiosity, much wondering to hear me pro-
nounce articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the
mean time I was notable to forbear groaning and skedding tears, and
turning my head towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could,
how cruelly I was hurt ‘by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He
seemed to apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat,
he put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master,
who was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the
ficld.

The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an account
of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw, about
the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets of my coat;
which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that nature had
givenme. He blew my hair aside to take a better view of my face. He
called his hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards learned,
«* Whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature that resem-
bled me?” He then placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, but I
got immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to let those
people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in a circle
about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off my hat, and
made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, and lifted up
my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could; I took
a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He
received it on the palm of his hand, then applied it close to his eye to see
what it was, and afterward turned it several times with the point of a pin
(which he took out of his sleeve), but could make nothing of it. Where-
upon [ made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then
took the purse, and opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There

* Qur inattention to the felicity of sensitive beings, merely because they are
small, is here forcibly reproved: many have wantonly crushed an insect, who would
shudder at cutting the throat of a dog; but it should always be remembered, that
the least of these

“Tn mortal sufferance feels a pang as great
As when a giant dies.”
76 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty
smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue,
and take up one of my largest pieces, and then another; but he seemed
to be wholly ignorant what they were. He made me asign to put them
again into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after
offering it to him several times, I thought it best to do.

The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational creature.
He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like
that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered
as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within
two yards of me: but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to
each other. He then sent his servants to their work, and taking his
handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left hand,
which he placed flat on the ground with the palm upward, making me a
sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in
thickness. JI thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid
myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which
he wrapped me up to the head for further security; and in this manner
carried me home to his house. There he called his wife, and showed me
to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in England do at the
sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she had awhile seen my
behaviour, and how well I observed the signs her busband made, she was
soon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was
only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a hus-
bandman), in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The
company were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old
grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some
distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor.
I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the edge, for
fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some
bread ona rencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low bow,
took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding
delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held
about two gullons, and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel with
much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to
her ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English,
which made the company laugh so heartily, that I was almost deafened
with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not
unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher
side: but as I walked on the table, being in great surprise all the time,
as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I happened
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. . Tt

res) stumble against a-crust, and fell flat on my face, but received no hurt.
I got up immediately, and observing the good people to be in much



concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out cf good
manners), and waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had
got-no mischief by my fall. But advancing forward towards my master
(as I shall henceforth call him), his youngest son, who sat next to him,
an arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held me
so high in the air, that I trembled every limb: but his father snatched
me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box on the left ear,
as would have felled a European troop of horse to the earth, ordering
him to be taken from the table. But being afraid this boy might owe me
a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all children among us
naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell
on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my master to understand as
well as I could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father
complied, and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to him and
kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him stroke me gently
with it.

In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favourite cat leaped into her lap.
T heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at work;
and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of that
animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I com puted
by the view of. her head, and one of her paws, while her mistress was
feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this creature’s countenance
78 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG,

altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the further end of the
table, above fifty feet off; and though my mistress held her fast, for fear
she might give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened
there was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me, when my
master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have been always
told, and found true by experience in my travels, that flying or dis-
covering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way to make it pursue or
attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous juncture, to show no manner
of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or six times before the very
head of the cat, and came within half ayard of her; whereupon she
drew herself back, as if she were more afraid of me: I had less appre-
hension concerning the dogs, whereof three or four came into the room,
as it is usual in farmers’ houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in
bulk to four elephants, and a greyhound, somewhat taller than the
mastiff, but not so large.

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a
year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that
you might have heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual
oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure
indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently
seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where 1
roared so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I
should infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her
apron under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle,
which was a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened
by a cable to the child’s waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to
apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever
disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I
cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an
idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and
could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about
half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so
varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear more
nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting down, the more
conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made me
reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so beautiful
to us, only because they are of our own size, and their defects not to be
seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment that
the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse, and ill coloured.

I remember, when I was at Lilliput, the complexions of those diminu-
tive people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon
this subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 79

of mine, ke said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when
he looked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when



I took him up in my hand, and brought him close, which he: confessed
was at first a very shocking sight. He said, “he could discover great
holes in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger
than the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours
altogether disagreeable: although I must beg leave to say for myself,
that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sun-burnt
by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies in that
emperor's court, he used to tell me, “one had freckles, another. too large
a mouth, a third too large a nose ;” nothing of which 1 was able to dis-
tinguish. I confess, this reflection was obvious enough; which, however,
I could not forbear, lest the reader might think those vast creatures were
actually deformed: for I must do them the justice to say, they are a
comely 1ace of people; and particularly the features of my master’s
countenance, although he was but a farmer, when I beheld. him from
the height of sixty fect, appeared very well proportioned.
BO A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I
could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife a strict charge
to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which
my mistress perceiving, she put.me on her own bed, and covered me with
a clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a
man of war.

I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and
children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked,* and found
myself alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide,
and about two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide My
mistress was gone about her household affairs; and had locked me in.
The bed was eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities re-
quired me to get down. I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it
would have been in vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance
as from the room where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept.t
While I was under these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains,
and ran smelling backwards and forwards on my bed. One of them came
up almost to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my
hanger to defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to
attack me on both sides, and one of them held his fore-feet at my collar ;
but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me
any mischief. He fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of
his comrade, made his escape, but not without one good wound on the
back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from
him. After this exploit, 1 walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover
my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large
mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off
my belt before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces
and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to be
two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to
draw the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding ; I observed it had
yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck, I thoroughly dis-
patched it.

Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody,
ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling, and
making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely
rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs,
and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table, where I
showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of my coat,

* This ought to have been “ awoke,” the preterite of the verb neuter, not “‘ awaked,’
the preterite of the verb active.—S.

+ This is a Liscostustim provincialism.—N.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 81

returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one thing
which another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my
mistress understand that I desired to be set down on the floor; which after
she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to express myself further
than by pointing at the door, and bowing several times. The good woman,
with much difficulty, at last perceived what I would be at, and taking
me up again in her hand, walked into the garden, where she set me down.
I went on one side about two hundred yards, and beckoning her not to
look or to follow me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there
discharged the necessities of nature.

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the
like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to grovelling
vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to enlarge his thoughts
and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of public as well as private
life, which was my sole design in presenting this, and other accounts of
my travels to the world; wherein I have been chiefly studious of truth,
without affecting any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole
scene of this voyage made so strong an impression on my mind, and is sc
deeply fixed in memory, that in committing it to paper I did not omit one
material circumstance; however, upon a strict review I blotted out
several passages of less moment, which were in my first copy, for fear of
being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps
not without justice, accused.



11










































































































































CHAPTER Ii.

A DESCRIPTION OF THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER. THE AUTHOR CAR-
RIED TO A MARKET TOWN, AND THEN TO THE METROPOLIS. THE
PARTICULARS OF HIS JOURNEY.

\ y mistress had a daughter of nitie years
Y old, a child of towardly parts for her age,
very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in
, dressing her baby. Her mother and she
\ contrived to fit up the baby’s cradle for me
against night: the cradle was put into @
small drawer of a cab:net, and the drawer
placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the
2 MO Wp NET ef Oj rats. This was my bed all the time I staid
(PANO EPH AK AO) with those people, though made more con-
venient by degrees, as I began to learn their language, and make my
wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or
twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and undress
me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me do either
myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth
as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these she
constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was likewise my
school mistress, to teach me the language: when I pointed to anything,
she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was
able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was very good-natured,
and not above forty feet high, being little of her age. She gave me the
name of Grildrig, which the family took up, and afterwards the whole
kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call nonunculus, the Italians,
homunceletion, and the English, manikin. To her I chiefly owe my


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 83

preservation in that country; we never parted while I was there; I
called her my Glumdalclitch, or little nurse ; and should be guilty of



great ingratitude, if I omitted this honourable mention of her care and
affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my power to requite
as she deserves, instead of being the ianocent, but unhappy instrument of
her disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear.

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my
master had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a
splacnuck, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature; which
it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in a little language
of its own, had already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon
two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do what-
ever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion
fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three years old. Another farmer,
who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, came on a
visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was imme-
diately produced, and placed upon a table, where I walked as I was com-
manded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to my mas-
ter’s guest, asked him in his own language how he did, and told him he
was welcome, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was
old and dim sighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better; at which
1 could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the
full moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who
discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which
&

&4 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG,

the old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of countenatice, - He
had the character of a great miser- and, to my misfortune, he well
deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a
sight upon a market-day in the next town, which was half an hour’s
niding, about two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there
was some mischief abroad contriving, when I observed my master and
his friend whispering long together, sometimes pointing at me; and my
fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood some of their words,
But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole
matter, which she had cunningly picked out from her mother. The poor
girl laid me on her bosom, and fell weeping with shame and grief. She
apprehended some mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks,
who might squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me
in their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my nature,
how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I should con-
ceive it to be exposed for money asa public spectacle, to the meanest of
the people. She said her papa and mamma had promised. that Grildrig
should be hers; but now she found they meant to serve her as they did
last year, when they pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it
was fat, sold it to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that
I was less concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never .
left me, that I should one day recover my liberty: andas to the ignominy
of being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect
stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could never be charged
upon meas a reproach, if ever I should return to England; since the
king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the
same distress.

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box
the next market day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him his
little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was close
on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a few
gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put the
quilt of her baby’s bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I was
terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but of
half an hour; for the horse went about forty feet at every step, and
trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling ofa
ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was some-
what farther than from London to St. Alban’s. My master alighted at an
inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with the inn-
keeper, and making some necessary preparations, he hired the gradtred or
crier, to give notice through the town of a strange creature to be seen at
the sign of the Green Eagle, not sa big as a splaenuck (an animal in that
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 85

country very finely shaped, about six feet long, and in every part of the
body resembling a human creature, could speak several words, and per-
form a hundred diverting tricks.

T was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might
be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool
close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My
master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to see
me. I walked about o’the table as the girl commanded: she asked
me questions, as. far as she. knew my understanding of the language
reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several



times to the company, paid my humble respects, said they were welcome,
and used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble
filled with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and
drank their health. I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after
the manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw,
which I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was
that day shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over
again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and vexa-
tion; for those who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that the
people were ready to break down the doors to come in. My master, for
his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me except my nurse ;
and to prevent danger, benches were set round the table at such a dis-
tance as put me out of everybody’s reach. However, an unlucky school-
boy aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed
86 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG,

me; otherwise it came with so much violence, tnat it would have infal-
libly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as a small
pumpion; but I had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten,
and turned out of the room.

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next
market-day; and in the mean time he prepared a more convenient
vehicle for me, which he had reason encugh to do; for I was so tired
with my first journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours
together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It
was at least three days before I recovered my strength; and that I might
have no rest at home, all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred
miles round, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master’s own
house. There could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives
and children (for the country is very populous); and my master de-
manded the rate of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although
it were only toa single family; so that for some time I had but little ease
every day of the week, (except Wednesday, which is their sabbath)
although I were not carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry
me to the most considerable cities in the kingdom. Having therefore
provided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, and settled
his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and on the 17th of August,
1703, about two months after my arrival, we set out for the metropolis,
situate near the middle of that empire, and about three thousand miles’
distance from our house. My master made his daughter Glumdalclitch
ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tied about her
waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could
get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby’s bed, provided
me with linen and other necessaries, and made everything as convenient
as she could. We had no other company but a boy of the house, who
rode after us with the luggage.

My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to
step out of the road, for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village or person
of quality’s house, where he might expect custom. We made easy
journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles a day: for Glumdal-
clitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with the trotting
of the horse. She often took me out of my box at my desire, to give me
air, and show me the country, but always held me fast by a leading-
string. We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and
deeper than the Ganges: and there was hardly a rivulet so small as the
Thames at London-bridge. We were ten weeks in our journey, and I was
shown in eighteen large towns, besides many villages and private families.
GULLIVER’s TRAVELS. 87

On the 26th day of October, we arrived at the metropolis, called in
their language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My master took
a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royal palace,
and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact description of my
person and parts. He hired a large room between three and four hun-
dred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which
I was to act my part, and palisadced it round three feet ftom the edge,
and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown ten times a
day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now speak the
language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word that was
spoken tome. Besides, I had learnt: their alphabet, and could make a
shift to explain a sentence, here and there: for Glumdalclitch had been
my instructor while we were at home, and at leisure hours during our
journey. She carried a little book in her pocket, not much larger than
Sanson’s Atlas; it was a commor. treatise for the use of young girls,
giving a short account of their religion: out of this she taught me my
letters, and interpreted the words,

/

|
Sf e














































































CHAPTER III.

THE AUTHOR SENT FOR TO COURT. THE QUEEN BUYS HIM OF HIS
MASTER THE FARMER, AND PRESENTS HIM TO THE KING. HE
DISPUTES WITH HIS MAJESTY’S GREAT SCHOLARS. AN APARTMENT
AT COURT PROVIDED FOR THE AUTHOR. HE IS IN HIGH FAVOUR
WITH THE QUEEN. HE STANDS UP FOR THE HONOUR OF HIS
OWN COUNTRY. HIS QUARRELS WITH THE QUEEN’S DWARF.

HE frequent labours I underwent every
day made, in a few weeks, a very consi-
derable change in my health; the more
my master got by me, the more insatiable
he grew; I had quite lost my stomach, and
was almost reduced to a skeleton. The
farmer observing it, and concluding I must
soon die, resolved to make as good a hand
of me as he could. While he was thus
reasoning and resolving with himself, a
sardral, or gentleman-usher, came from
court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither for the diver-
sion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see
me, and reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense.
Her majesty, and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted
with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of
kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out her little
finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced in both
my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She
made me some general questions about my country and my travels, which


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 89

I answered as distinctly, and in as few words, as I could. She asked,
«whether I could be content to live at court?’ I bowed down to the
board of the table, and humbly answered, ‘that I was my master’s slave ;
but if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to
her majesty’s service.” She then asked my master, “whether he was
willing to sell me at a good price?” He, who apprehended that I could
not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a
thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece
being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores ; but allowing for the
proportion of all things between that country and Europe, and the high
price of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand
guineas would be in England. I then said to the queen, “ since I was
now her majesty’s most humble creature and vassal, I must beg the
favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with so much
care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might be admitted
into the service, and continue to be my nurse and instructor.”

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent,
who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the
poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew,
bidding me farewell, and saying, he had left me in a good service: to
which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.

The queen observed my coldness; and when the farmer was gone out
of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty,
«that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not dashing
out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in his fields ;
which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had made in
showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now sold me
for. That the life I had since led, was laborious enough to kill an
animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired, by
the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the day ;
and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty
would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of
being ill-treated, under the protection of so great and good an empress,
the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her
subjects, the phoenix of the creation; so, I hoped my late master’s ap-
prehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already found my spirits
revive, by the influence of her most august presence.” :

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and
hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to
that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch, while
she was carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking,

12
90 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive
an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who
was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity
and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked
the queen after a cold manner, “ how long it was since she grew fond of
a splacnuck?”’ for such, it seems, he took me to be, as I lay upon my
breast in her majesty’s right hand. But this princess, who has an infi-
nite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my fect upon the scrutoire,

WR
sh
i

i



and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I
did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the cabinet
door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted,
confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father’s house.

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions,
had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathe-
matics: yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk ercet,

- — a - — = = om oo — — a
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 91

vefore I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clock-work,
(which is in that country arrived to a very great perfection) contrived by
some ingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and found what I
delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonish-
ment. He was by no means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the
manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between
Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to make
me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put several other
questions to me, and still received rational answers: no otherwise defec-
tive, than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge of the lan-
guage, with some rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer’s
house, and did not suit the polite style of a court.

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in the weekly
waiting, according to the custom in that country. These gentlemen,
after they had awhile examined my shape with much nicety, were of
different opinions concerning me. They all agreed, that I could not be
produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was not
framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or
climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth, They observed by my
teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous
animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice,
with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be
able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which
they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not
possibly do.* One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an
embryo or abortive birth, But this opinion was rejected by the other
two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished ; and that T had
lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, the stumps whereof
they plainly discovered through a magnifying-glass. They would not
allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of
comparison; for the queen’s favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in
that kingdom, was nearly thirty feet high. After much debate, they con-
cluded unanimously, that I was only relplum scalcath, which is, inter-
preted literally Jusus nature; a determination exactly agreeable to the
modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old
evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavoured
in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution
of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.

* By this reasoning, the author probably intended to ridicule the pride of those
philosophers, who have thought fit to arraign the wisdom of Providence in the
creation and government of the world; whose cavils are specious, like those of the

Brobdingnag sages, only in proportion to the ignorance of those to whom they are
proposed.—H.
92 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG,

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two.
I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, “that I came from
a. country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my
“own statute 5; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in propor-
- tion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend myself,
and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty’s subjects could do here;
which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen’s arguments.” To this
they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying, “that the farmer had
instructed me very well in my lesson.”* The king, who had a much
better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who
by good fortune was not yet gone out of the town. Having therefore
first examined him privately, and then confronted nim with me and the
young girl, his majesty began to think that what we told him might
possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular care
should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should
still continue in her office of tending me, because he observed we had
great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was provided
for her at court; she had a.sort of governess appointed to take care of
. her ‘education, a maid to dress her, and two other servants for menial
offices; but the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The
queen commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might
serve me for a bed-chamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I
should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist; and according
to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of
sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two
closets, like a London bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling,
was to be lifted up and down by two hinges to put in a bed ready fur-
nished by her majesty’s upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every
day to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at night,
locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for
little curiosities, undertook’ to make me two chairs, with backs and
frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to
put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the
floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of
those who carried me, and to- break the force of a jolt, when I went in a
coach. I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from
coming in. The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that .
ever was seen among them, for I. have known a larger at the gate of a
gentleman’s house in England. I made a shift to keep the key ina
* This satire is levelled against all who reject those facts for which they cannot
perfectly account, notwithstanding the absurdity of rejecting the testimony by which
they are supported.—H.

e ‘
GULLIVER S TRAVELS. 93

pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen like.
wise ordered the thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes,
not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumberous tili I was
accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly
resémbling the Persian, and eanly the Chinese, and are a very grave and
decent habit.

The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine
without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty
ate, just at her elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a
stool on the floor near my table to assist and take care of me. I had an
entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which in pro-
portion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have
seen in a London toy-shop, for the furniture of a baby-house; these my
little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box, and. gave me at meals as I

Gyo ANI, a
ix GaN



wanted them, always cleaning heh herself. No person dined with the
queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the
younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put a
94 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG,.

bit or mect upon one c* my dishes, out of which I carved for myself, and
her diversion was to see me eat in miniature; for the queen (who had
indeed buta weak stomach) took up, at one mouthful, as much as a dozen
English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a
very nauseous sight.* She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and
all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full
grown turkey; and put a bit of bread in her mouth, as big as two twelve-
penny loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a
draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon
the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the
same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out
of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of
those enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had
never till then beheld so terrible a sight.

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is
their sabbath,) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes,
dine together in the apartment of-his majesty, to whom I was now
become a great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table
were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince
took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,
religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him
the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and his
judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations
upon all I said. But I confess, that after I had been a little too copious
in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea and
land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the prejudices
of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up
in his right hand, and, stroking me gently with the other, after a hearty
fit of laughing, asked me, whether I was a whig or a tory? Then
turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a white staff,
nearly as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed “ how
contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by
such diminutive insects as I: and yet,” says he, “I dare engage these
creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour; they contrive little

* Among other dreadful and disgusting images which custom has rendered
amiliar, are those which arise from eating animal food: he who has ever turned
with abhorrence from the skeleton of a beast which has been picked whole by
birds or vermin, must confess that habit only could have enabied him to endure
the sight of the mangled bones and flesh of a dead carcass which every day cover his
table; and he who reflects on the number of lives that have been sacrificed to
sustain his own, should.inquire by what the account has been balanced, and whether
his life is become proportionately of more value by the exercise of virtue and piety,
by the superior happiness which he has communicated to reasonable beings, and
by the glory which his intellect has ascribed to God. - H.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. ; 95

nests and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a figure
and dress in equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat,
they betray.” And thus he continued on, while my colour came and
went several times, with indignation, to hear our noble country, the
mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe,
the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the
world, so contemptuously treated.

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature
thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no.* For, after
having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this
people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine eyes to be of
proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from their
bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company
of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day clothes, acting
their several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting, and bowing,
and prating, to say the truth, I should have been strongly tempted to
laugh as much at them, as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither
indeed could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to place
me upon her hand towards a looking glass, by which both our persons
appeared before me in full view together; and there could be nothing
more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really began to imagine
myself dwindled many degrees below my usual size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s dwarf; who
being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily
think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at. seeing a
creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger
and look big as he passed by me in the queen’s antechamber, while I was
standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and
he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against
which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging
him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court
pages. One day at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with
something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame of her
majesty’s chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not
thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream,
and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and,
if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me;

* * “Whether I was injured or no.”—This vulgar and ungrammatical mode of
expression has become almost universal; but instead of “no” the particle “not”
should be used. The absurdity of the former will appear by only repeating the
word to which it refers, and annexing to it, as thus—“ whether I were injured, or no
injured,’’ whereas, “ whether I were injured, or not injured.” is good granimar —S
98 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened to be at the other end of the
room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of
mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me
out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed;
however I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes,
which were utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and, as a
further punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he
had thrown me, neither was he ever restored to favour; for soon after
the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no
more, to my very great satisfaction: for I could not tell to what extremity
such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.

He had before served mea scurvy trick, which set the queen a-
laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would
have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to
intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and,
after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again on the dish erect,
as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity while Glumdal-
clitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted the stool that she stood on to
take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my
legs together, wedged them into the marrow-bone above my waist, where



+

I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it
was near a minute before any one knew what was become of me; for I
thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 97

hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad
condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a
sound whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queer upon account of my fearfulness ;
and she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great
cowards as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much
pestered with flies in summer ; and these odious insects, each of them as
big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner,
with their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They
‘would sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome
excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very visible; though not to
the natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as mire
in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nore
or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively ;

jl
i >

i i

i

|
ll
ti

ny ssuitulll



and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists tell us,
enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling.
I had much ado to defend myself against these detestable animals, and

could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the
13
-98 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

common practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in ha
hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my
nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy was
to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my
dexterity was much admired.

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me ina box
upon a window, as she usually did in fair days, to give me air, (for I durst
not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do
with cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat
down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above
twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room humming
louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my
cake, and carried it piecemeal away: others flew about my head and
face, confounding me with their noise, and putting me in the utmos%
terror of their stings. - However, I had the courage to rise and draw my
hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the
rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These insccts are as
large as partridges: I took out their stings, found then an inch and a-half-

,long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and
having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts of
Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to Gresham
College, and kept the fourth for myself.




















































































CHAPTER IV.

THE COUNTRY DESCRIBED. A PROPOSAL FOR CORRECTING MODERN
MAPS. THE KING’S PALACE, AND SOME ACCOUNT OF THE METRO-
POLIS. THE AUTHOR'S WAY OF TRAVELLING, THE CHIEF TEMPLE
DESCRIBED.

Now intend to give the reader a short de-
scription of this country, as far as I tra.
velled in it, which was not above twa
thousand miles round Lorbrulgrud, the
metropolis, For the queen, whom I
\ always attended, never went farther when
> she accompanied the king in his progresses,
# and there stayed till his majesty returned
from viewing his frontiers. The whole
extent of this prince’s dominions, reaches
: = about six thousand miles in length, and
from three to five in breadth: whence I cannot but conclude, that our
geographers of Europe are in a great error, by supposing nothing but sea
between Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion that there



must be a balance of earth to counterpoise the great continent of Tartary ;
and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts, by joining this
vast tract of land to the north-west parts of America, wherein I shall be
ready to lend them my assistance.

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminating to the north-east of a ridge
of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassible. by reason
100 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

of the voicanoes upon the tops: neith-r do the most learned know what
sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be inha-
bited at all. On the three other sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There
is not one sea-port in the whole kingdom ; and those parts of the coast into
which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally
so rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest of their boats: ; so
that these people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the rest
of the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and abound with
excellent fish: for they seldom get any from the sea, because the sea-fish
are of the same size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth
catching ; whereby it is manifest, that nature, in the production of plants
and animals of so extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this con-
tinent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers.
However, now and then they take a whale that happens to be dashed
against the rocks, which the common people feed on heartily. These
whales I have known so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon
his shoulders ; and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers
to Lorbrulgrud: I saw one of them in a dish at the king's table, which
passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for, I think
indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat
larger in Greenland.

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near a
hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my
curious reader it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. The city
stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the river that passes
through. It contains about eighty thousand houses, and about six hun-
dred thousand inhabitants. It is in length three glomglungs (which make
about fifty-four English miles), and two and a half in breadth; as T
measured it myself in the royal map made by the king's order, which was
laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I
paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and com-
puting by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.

The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, about
seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two hundred and
forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed
to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out
to see the town, or go among the shops; and I was always of the party,
carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often take
me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view
the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned
our coach to be about the square of Westminster-hall, but not altogether
so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess
.

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 101

ordered the coachman to stop at several shops, where the beggars,
watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach, and gave me
the most horrible spectacle that ever an European eye beheld. There was
a woman with a cancer in her breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of
holes, in two or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered my
whole body. There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger thaa





five wool-packs; and another with a couple of wooden legs, each about
twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all was the lice crawling
on their clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of those vermin with
my naked eye, much better than those of an European louse through a
microscope, and their snouts with which they rooted like swine. They
were the first I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough
to dissect one of them, if I had had proper instruments, which I un-
luckily left behind me in the ship, although, indeed, the sight was so
nauseous, that it perfectly turned my stomach.

Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen
ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square,
102 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because the other was
somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch’s lap, and cumbersome in the
coach; it was made by the same artist, whom I directed in the whole
contrivance. This travelling closet was an exact square, with a window
in the middle of three of the squares, and each window was laticed with
iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in long journeys. On the
fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through
which the person who carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback,
put a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always
the office of some grave and trusty servant, in whom I could confide,
whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were dis-
posed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or minister
of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order ;
for I soon began to be known and esteemed among the greatest officers,
I suppose more upon account of their majesties’ favour, than any merit of
my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on
horseback, would buckle on my box, and place it upon a cushion before
him; and there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides, from
my three windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a hammock
hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the floor,
to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or the coach.
And having been long used to sea voyages, those motions, although
sometimes very violent, did not much discompose me.

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my travelling
closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of open sedan,
after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and attended by two
others in the queen’s livery. The people, who had often heard of me,
were very curious to crowd about the sedan ; and the girl was complaisant
enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in her hand that I
might be more conveniently seen.

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower
belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom. Accord-
ingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I came
back disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand feet,
reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which, allowing
for the difference between the size of those people and usin Europe, is no
great matter for admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly
remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation to
which, during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it
must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height, is
amply made up in beauty and strength: for the walls are near a hundred
feet thick. bnilt of hewn stone, whereof each is about forty feet square,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 103

and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and emperors, cut in marble,
larger than life, placed in their several niches. I measured a. little
finger which had fallen down from one of these statues, and lay unper-
ceived among some rubbish, and found it exactly four feet and an inch
in tength. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in her handkerchief; and
carried it home in her pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of
which the girl was very fond, as children at her age usually are.

The king’s kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and
about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten
paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on purpose,
after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen grate, the prodi-
gious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turned on the spits, with
many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly believed: at least
a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a little, as travellers are
often suspected to do. To avoid which censure, I fear I have run too
much into the other extreme; and that if this treatise should happen to be
translated into the language of Brobdingnag (which is the general name
of that kingdom), and transmitted thither, the king and his people would
have reason to complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and
diminutive representation.

His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables:
they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But when he goes
ibroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a militia guard of
five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most splendid sight
that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his army in battalia, whereof
I shall find another occasion to speak.




















































































CHAPTER V.

SEVERAL ADVENTURES THAT HAPPENED TO THE AUTHOR. THE EXE-

CUTION OF A CRIMINAL. THE AUTHOR SHOWS HIS SKILL IN
NAVIGATION.

SHOULD have lived happy enough in that
country, if my littleness had not exposed
me to several ridiculous and troublesome
accidents: some of which I shall venture
to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried
me into the gardens of the court in my
smaller box, and would sometimes take
me out of it, and hold me in her hand,
or set me down to walk. I remember,
before the dwarf left the queen, he fol-
lowed us one day into those gardens,
and my nurse having set my down, he and I being close together, near
some dwarf apple-trees, [must needs show my wit, by a sil y allusion be-
tween him and the trees, which happens to hold in their language as it
does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, watching his opportunity,
when I was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my head,
by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel,
came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I
chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received
no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had
given the provocation.

Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert
myseif, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 105

mean time there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was
immediately, by the force of it, struck {o the ground: and when I was



down, the ‘hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if J
had been pelted with tennis-balls ; however, I made a shift to creep on all
fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a
border of lemon-thyme; but so bruised from head to foot, that I could not
go abroad for ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because
nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all her
operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in
Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been so curious* to
weigh and measure them.

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden,
where my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which
1 often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts), and

* The particle, “as,” is here improperly omitted; it should beso curious “as,”

weigh, &c.—S,

14
106 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

having left the box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went
to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her
acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white
spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by
accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay:
the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his
mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on
the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was
carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my
clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great
kindn:ss for m2, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both
his hands, and asked me how I did; but I was so amazed and out 0°
breath, that I.could not speak a word. Ina few minutes I came io-
myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time, had
returned to the place where she left m2, and was in cruel agonies when
I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely reprimanded
the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and
never known at. court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger; and
truly, as to myself, 1 thought it would not be for my reputation that such
a story should go about.

Th's accident absolutely determined Giant alclitch never «to trust me
abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this
resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky adventures
that happened in those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite,
hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely
drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he would have cer-
tainly carried me away in his talons. Another time, walking to the top
of a fresh molehill, I fell to my neck in the hole through which that
animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worth remem-
bering, to excuse mysclf for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my
right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble
over, as I was walking along and thinking on poor England.

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in
these solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all
afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking for
worms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if no
creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence
to snatch out of my hand with his bill, a piece of cake that Glumdal-
clitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch
any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to
peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach; and then
they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 107

did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all
my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and
seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph
to my nurse. However, the bird, who had been only stunned, recovering
himself, gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of my
head and body, though I held him at arm’s-length, and was out of. the
reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go. But
I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the bird’s
neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s command. This
linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an
English swan.

’ The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments,
and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the
pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked
from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I
was much disgusted; because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell
came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the dis-
advantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of
respect ; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to
my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more disagreeable
to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same quality are
with us in England.+ And after all, I found their natural smell was much
more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under which I imme-
diately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate friend of mine
in Lilliput, took the freedom, in a warm day, when I had used a good
deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am
as little faulty that way as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of
smelling was as nice with regard. to me, as mine was to that of this
people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen
my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as sweet
as those of any lady in England.

That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour
(when my nurse carried me to visit them) was, to see them use me with-
out any manner of ceremony, like a creature who nad no sort of concu-
piscence: for they would strip themselves to the skin, and put their
smocks on in my presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly
before their naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from
being a tempting sight, or from giving me any other emotion than those
of horror and disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so
variously coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there
as broad as a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads,
to say nothing further concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did




108 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

they at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to
the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held about three
tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant, frolick-
some girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her
nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for
being over-particular. But I was so much displeased, that I entreated Glum-
dalclitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.

One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess,
came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who
had murdered one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance. Glum-
dalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against her
inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and as for myself,
although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted
me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The male-
factor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and
his head cut off at one: blow, with a sword of forty feet long. The veins
and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so high
in the air, that the great jet d’eau at Versailles was not equal* for the time
it lasted: and the head, when it fell upon the scaffold floor, gave such a
bounce as made me start, although I was at least half an English mile
distant.

The queen, who often used to hear me talk of sea-voyages, and took
all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I
understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise
of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered that I
understood both very well: for although my proper employment had
been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was
forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this
could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a
first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage
would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, “If I would
contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a
place for me to sail in.” The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by
my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure boat, with all its tackling,
able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the
queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap to the king, who
ordered it to be put in a cistern full of water, with me in it, by the way
of trial; where I could not manage my two skulls, or little oars, for want
of room. But the queen had before contrived another project. She
ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of three hundred feet long,

* It should he—“ was not equal to it,” &e.—S.
GULLIVER S TRAVELS. 109

fifty broad, and eight deep; which being well pitched, to prevent leaking,
was placed on the floor along the wall, in an outer room of the palace.
It had a cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to
grow stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I
often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the queen
and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained with my skill
and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, andthen my business

ree
aoe itl i

sone HIN



was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and,
when they were weary, some of their pages would blow my sail forward
with their breath, while I showed my art by steering starboard or lar-
board as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried
back my boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.

In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost
me my life; for one of the pages having put my boat into the trough,
the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up,
to place me in the boat; but I happened to slip through her fingers, and
should infallibly have fallen down forty feet, upon the floor, if, by the
luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a corking-pin
that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the head of the pin
passed between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus 1
was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief,

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my
1190 A VOYAGE TO BROEDINGNAG.

trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless* to let a huge
frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till
I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting place, climbed up, and
male it lean so much on one side, that I was forced to balance it with all
my weight on the other, to prevent overturning. When the frog was
got in, it hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then over my
head, backward and forward, daubing my face and clothes with its
odious slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the most
deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glum-
dalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one
of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a
monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch
had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business,
or a visit. The weather being very warm, the closet window was left
open, as well as the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I
usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly
meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the closet
window and skip about from one side to the other: whereat, although I
was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my
seat ; and then I saw this frolicksome animal frisking and leaping up and
down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view with great
pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. I
retreated to the farther corner of my room, or box; but the monkey
locking in at every side, put me into such a fright, that I wanted
presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have
done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at
last espied me; and reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat
does when she plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to
avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat (which being made
of that country silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged me out.
He took me up in his right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child
she is going to suckle, just as I have scen the same sort of creature do
with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me
so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason
to oelieve, that he took me for a young one of his own species, by his
often stroking my face very gently with his other paw. In these
diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet-door, as if some-
body were opening it: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window,
at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking

* It should be—' was so careless as to let,’ &c.—S.
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 111

upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up
a roof next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment
he was carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that
quarter of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders:
the monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of
a building, holding me Lie a baby in one of his fore-paws, and feeding
me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some victuals he had
squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps, and patting me when I
would not eat; whereat many of the rabble below could not forbear
laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for without
question, the sight was ridiculous enough to everybody but myself.
Some of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down:
but this was strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had
been dashed out.

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which
the monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not
being able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop ona
ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred
yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the
wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over
from the ridge to the eaves: but an honest lad, one of my nurse’s foot-
men, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches-pocket, brought me
down safe.

I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey crammed down
my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a small
needle, and then I fell a vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I
was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by this
odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The
king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my health;
and her majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The mon-
key was killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept
about the palace.

‘When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for
his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure.
He asked me, “ what my thoughts and speculations were, while I lay in
the monkey’s paw ; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of
feeding ; and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened my stomach.”
He desired to know, “what I would have done upon such an occasion
in my own country.” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we had no
monkeys except such as were brought for curiosities from other places,
and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they pre-
sumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal, with whom I
112 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears
had suffered me to think so far, as to make use of my hanger (looking
fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt as I spoke;) when he poked
his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have given him such a
wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it, with more haste



than he put it in.” ‘This I delivered in a firm tone, like a person who
was jealous lest his courage should be called in question. However, my
speech produced nothing else besides a loud laughter, which all the
respect due to his majesty from those about him could not make them
contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to
endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all degrees
of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of
my own behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a
little contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or
common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself
upon a footing with the greatest person of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story; and
Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to
inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that she thought
would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order,
was carried by her governess to take the air about an hour’s distance, or
thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 113

footpath in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I
went out of it to walk, ‘There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must
needs try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but
unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle, up to
my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the
feotmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was
filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box till we returned
home; when the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the
footmen spread it about the court; so that all the mirth for some days
was at my expense.

















ee

A eee








































































CHAPTER VI.

SEVERAL CONTRIVANCES OF THE AUTHOR TO PLEASE THE KING AND
QUEEN. HE SHOWS HIS SKILL IN MUSIC. THE KING INQUIRES
INTO THE STATE OF ENGLAND, WHICH THE AUTHOR RELATES TO
HIM, THE KING’S OBSERVATIONS THEREON.

usED to attend the king’s levee once or
twice a week, and had often seen him
under the barber’s hand, which indeed was
at first very terrible to behold: for the
razor was almost twice as long as an or-
dinary scythe. His majesty, according to
the custom of the country, was only shaved
twice a week. I once prevailed on the
barber to give me some of the suds or
lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty
of the strongest stumps of hair. I then
took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making
several holes in it at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get
from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and
slooping them with my knife towards the points, that I made a very
tolerable comb ; which was a seasonable supply, my own being so much
broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless: neither did I know any
artist in that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me
another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement wherein I spent many of


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 115

my leisure hours. I desired the queen’s woman to save for me the
combings of her majesty’s hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity ;
and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received
general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two chair
frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little holes
with a fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and seats ;
through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, just
after the manner of the cane chairs in England. When they were
finished, I made a present of them to her majesty; who kept them
in her cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they
were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have
nad me sit upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her,
protesting I would rather die a thousand deaths, than place a disho-
nourable part of my body on those precious hairs, that once adorned her
majesty’s head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I
likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty’s
name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch by the
queen’s consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use, being
not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she
kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are fond of.

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to
which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on the table to hear





them; but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the
tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army,
116 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My
practice was to have my box removed from the place where the per-
formers sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it,
and draw the window curtains; after which I found their music not
disagreeable.

T had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdal-
clitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a week to
teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled that in-
strument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came into
my head, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English
tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult; for
the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide,
so that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and
to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which
would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived
was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common
cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the
thicker ends with pieces of a mouse’s skin, that by rapping on them I
might neither, damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the sound.
Before the spinet, a bench was placed, about four feet below tne keys,
and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and this,
as fast as I could. banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made
a shift to play a jig. to the great satisfaction of both their majesties; but
it was the most violent exercise that I ever underwent; and yet I could
not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble
together, as other artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my
performance.

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent under-
standing, would frequently order that I should be brought in my box,
and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to
bring one of my chairs out of my box, and sit down within three yards’
distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level
with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with him. J
one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the contempt he dis-
covered towards Europe and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable
to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason
did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we
observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the least
provided with it: that among other animals, bees and ants had the
reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the larger
kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might
live to do his majesty some signal service.” The king heard me with
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 117

attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had
ever before. He desired “I would give him as exact an account of the
government of England as I possibly could ; because, as fond as princes
‘commonly are of their own customs (for so he conjectured of other
monarchs by my former discourses,) he should be glad to hear of anything
that might deserve imitation.”

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the
tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to cele-
brate the praise of my own dear native country, in a style equal to its
merits and felicity.

I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions
consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under
one sovereign, besides our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon
the fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke
at large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly made up
of an illustrious body, called the house of peers; persons of the noblest
blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described that
extraordinary care was always taken of their education in arts and arms, to
qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to
have a share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court of
judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always
ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour,
conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the
kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose
honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity
were never once known to degenerate. To these were joined several
holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose
peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the
people therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole
nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of the
priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their
life and the depth of their erudition; who were, indeed, the spiritual
fathers of the clergy and the people.

That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly, called
the house of commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked
and culled out by the people themselves, by their great abilities and love
of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that
these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe, to whom
in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed.

I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, those
venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining the
disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of
118 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management
of our treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces, by sea and
land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many
millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party among
us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other
particular which I thought might redound to the honour of my country.
And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in
England for about a hundred years past.

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several
hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently
taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions
he intended to ask me.

When I had put an end to these long discourses, his majesty, in a
sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries
and objections, upon every article. He asked, “ what methods were used
to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what
kind of business they commonly spent the first and most teachable part of
their lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any
noble family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in
those who are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the
prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a
party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be the motive in
those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the
laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to
decide the properties of their fellow-subjects, in the last resort? Whe-
ther they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a
bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among them?
Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank
on account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of
their lives ; had never been compliers with the times, while they were com-
mon priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose
opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were admitted
into that assembly °”

He then desired to know, “what arts were practised in electing those
whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse,
might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own
landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood?
How it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting
into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense,
often to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension; because
this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his
majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere?”
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 119

And he desired to know, “ whether such zealous gentlemen could have
any views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were
at, by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious
prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his
questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head,
proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not
prudent or convenient to repeat.

Upon what I said in relation ‘to our courts of justice, his majesty
desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better able to
do, having been formerly almost ruined by along suit in chancery, which
was decreed for me with costs. He asked, “what time was usually
spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree of
expense? Whether advocates and orators‘had liberty to plead in causes
manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether
party, in religion or politics, was observed to be of any weight in the
scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated
in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and
other local customs? whether they or their judges had any part in
penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, and
glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at different
times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited precedents to
prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor cor-
poration? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading,
or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they were ever
admitted as members in the lower senate ?”

He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, “he
thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about
five or six millions a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he
found they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he
had taken were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he
told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and
he could not be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him
were true, he was still ata loss how a kingdom could run out of its
estate, like a private person.” He asked me, “who were our creditors ;
and where we found money to pay them?’ He wondered to hear me
talk of such chargeable and expensive wars; ‘that certainly we must be
a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our
generals must needs be richer than our kings?’ He asked, “ what business
we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty,
or to defend the coast with our fleets?’ Above all, he was amazed to
hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace and
among a free people. He said, ‘if we were governed by our own con-
120 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

sent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom
we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my
opinion, whether a private man’s house might not be better defended by
himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked uj
at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times
more by cutting their throats ?”

He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic,’ as he was pleased to call
it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn
from the several sects among us in religion and politics.” He said, “ he
knew no reason why those who entertain opinions prejudicial to the
public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal
them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so
it was weakness not-to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to
keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them for cordials.””

He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry,
I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this enter-
tainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how
much of their time it employed: whether it ever went so high as
to effect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity
in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very
nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions ;
wholly take them from the improvement of their mind, and force them,
by the losses they received,* to learn and practise that infamous dexterity
upon others.”

_ He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I gave him of
our affairs during the last century; protesting it was only a heap of con-
spiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the
very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty,
rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition could produce.

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the
sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the
answers I had given; then, taking me into his hands, and stroking me
gently, delivering himself in these words, which I shall never forget, nor
the manner he spoke them in: “ My little friend Grildrig, you have
made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly
proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for
qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and
applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, con-
founding, and eluding them. Iobserve among you some lines of an
institution, which in its original might have been tolerable, but these

* Receiving a ae is certainly not a good expression ; it should be, “the losses
they sustained.”—S
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 121

half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruption. It
does not appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is
required towards the procurement of any one station among you ; mucn
less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are
advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or
valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their
country ; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,”’ continued
the king, ‘‘who have spent the greatest part of your life in travelling, I am
well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped many vices of your
country. But by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the
answers I have with much pains wringed* and extorted from you, I
cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious
race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the
surface of the earth.”

* Instead of “ wringed,” it should have been “ wrung.”—S,



16




































































CHAPTER VII.

THE AUTHOR'S LOVE OF HIS COUNTRY. HE MAKES A PROPOSAL OF
MUCH ADVANTAGE TO THE KING, WHICH IS REJECTED. THE
KING'S GREAT IGNORANCE IN POLITICS. THE LEARNING OF THAT
COUNTRY VERY IMPERFECT AND CONFINED. THE LAWS, AND MI-
LITARY AFFAIRS, AND PARTIES IN THE STATE,

=~". oTHtNnG but an extreme love of truth could
_ have hindered me from concealing this part
of my story. It was in vain to discover my
2) resentments, which were always turned into
pregridicule; and I was forced to rest with
#/.4 patience, while my noble and_ beloved
\ country was so injuriously treated. I am













i Ls â„¢
pail, given: but this prince happened to be so
§ P PP

4 curious and inquisitive upon every particular,
that it could not consist either with gra-
titude or good manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was
able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication,
that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a
more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth would
allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to my own
country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much justice, re-
commends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and deformities of
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 128

my political mother, and place her virtues and beauties in the most ad-
vantageous light. This was my sincere endeavour in those many dis-
courses I had with that monarch, although it unfortunately failed of
success.

But great allowance should be given to a king, who lives wholly
secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether
unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other
nations ; the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices,
and a certain narrowness of thinking, from which we, and the politcr
countries of Europe, are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed,
if so remote a prince’s notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a
standard for all mankind.

To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable
effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage, which will
hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further into his
majesty’s favour, I told him of ‘“‘an invention, discuvered between three
and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder, mto a heap of
which, the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a
moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up
in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That
a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass or
iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead, with
such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its force. ‘That
the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks of
an army atonce, but batter the strongest walls to the ground; sink down
ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of the sea; and when
linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and rigging, divide
hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That
we often put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and discharged
them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would rip up
the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on every
side, dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew the ingre-
dients very well, which were cheap and common ; I understood the manner
of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how to make those
tubes of a size proportionable to all other things in his majesty’s kingdom,
and the largest need not be above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty
of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and bal!s,
would batter down the walls of the strongest town in his dominions
in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend
to dispute his absolute commands. This I humbly offered to his majesty,
as a small tribute of acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I
had received of his royal favour and protection.”
124 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of
those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. ‘He was amazed,
how so impotent and groyelling an insect as I,” (these were his ex-
pressions) ‘could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a
manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and
desolation, which I had painted, as the common effects of those destruc-
tive machines; whereof,’ he said, ‘‘ some evil genius, enemy to mankind,
must have been the first contriver. As for himself,” he protested, “ that,
although few things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or
nature, yet he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such
a secret; which he commanded me, as I valued my life, never to mention
any more.”

A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince pos-
sessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem; of
strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with
admirable talents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a nice,
unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception, let
slip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him absolute
master of the lives, the liberties, aud the fortunes of his people. Neither
de I say this, with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of
that excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, on this account,
be very much lessened in the opinion of an English reader: but I take
this defect among them to have risen from their ignorance, by not having
hitherto reduced politics into a science, as the more acute wits of Europe
have done. For, I remember very well, in a discourse one day with the
king, when I happened to say, “there were several thousand books
among us written upon the art of government,” it gave him (directly
contrary to my intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings.
He professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement, and
intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what I meant
by secrets of state, where an enemy, or some rival nation, were not in
the case. He confined the knowledge of governing within very narrow
bounds, to common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy
determination of civil and criminal causes; with some other obvious
topics, which are not worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion,
“that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to
grow upon a spot of ground, where only one grew before, would deserve
better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the
whule race of politicians put together.”

The learning of this people is very defective; consisting only of
morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be allowed
to excel. But the last of these is whollv applied to what may be useful
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 125

in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all mechanical arts; so
that among us, it would be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities,
abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never drive the least con-
ception* into their heads.

No law of that country must exceed in words the number of letters in
their alphabet, which consists only of two-and-twenty. But indeed few
of them extent even to that length. They are expressed in the most
plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough
to discover above one interpretation: and to write a comment upon any
law, is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or proceedings
against criminals, their precedents are so few, that they have little reason
to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of
mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king, which
is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a thousand volumes,
placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had liberty to
borrow what books I pleased. The queen’s joiner had contrived in one
of Glumdalclitch’s rooms, a kind of wooden machine, five-and-twenty
feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet
long: it was indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at
ten feet distance from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind
to read, was put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the
upper step of the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began
at the top of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight
or ten paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little
below the level of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I came
to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the other page
in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which I could easily do
with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff as pasteboard, and in
the largest folios not above eighteen or twenty feet long.

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they
avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using various
expressions. I have perused many of their books, especially those on
history and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little
old treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch’s bedchamber, and be-
longed to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in mo-
rality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind,
and is in little esteem, except among the women and the vulgar. How-
ever, I was curious to see what an author of that country could say upon
such a subject. This writer went through all the usual topics of European

* It should be, “I could never drive the least conception ‘of them,’ into their
heads.”—S,
126 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

moralists, showing “how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an
animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defend himself from
the inclemencies of the air, or the fury of wild beasts: how much he was
excelled by one creature in strength, by another in speed, by a third in
foresight, by a fourth in industry.” He added, “that nature was dege-
nerated in these latter declining ages of the world, and could now produce
only small abortive births, in comparison of those in ancient times.” He
said, ‘it was very reasonable to think, not only that the species of men
were originally much larger, but also that there must have been giants
in former ages: which, as it is asserted by history and tradition, so it
has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls, casually dug up in several
parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled race of men in
our days.” He argued, “that the very laws of nature absolutely required
we should have been made, in the beginning, of a size more large and
robust ; not so liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile
falling from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being
drowned ina little brook.” From this way of reasoning, the author
drew several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but need-
less here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how
universally this talent was spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or
indeed rather matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we
raise with nature. And I believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels
might be shown as ill-grounded among us, as they are among that
people.*

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king’s army consists of
a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two thousand horse;
if that may be called an army, which is made up of tradesmen in the
several cities, and farmers in the country, whose commanders are only the
nobility or gentry, without pay or reward. They are indeed perfect enough
in their exercises, and under very gucd discipline, wherein I saw no great
merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every farmer is under the
command of his own landlord, and every citizen under that of the
principal men in his own city, chosen, after the manner of Venice, by
ballot ?

I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise, in
a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in all, not
above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it was
mpossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of

* The author’s zeal to justify Providence has before been remarked ; and these
quarrels with nature, or in other words with God, could not have been more forcibly
reproved than by showing that the complaints upon which they are founded would
be equally specious among beings of such astonishing superiority of stature and
strength.—H.
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 127

ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be
about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon the





word of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the
aiy. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were darting
at the same time from every quarter of the sky.

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is
no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach
his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed,
both by conversation and reading their histories ; for in the course of many
ages, they have been troubled with the same disease to which the whole
race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for power, the
people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All which, how-
ever happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom, have been sometimes
violated by each of the three parties, and have more than once occasioned
civil wars; the last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince’s
grandfather, in a general composition; and the militia, then settled
with common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty.


















































































CHAPTER VIII.

THE KING AND QUEEN MAKE A PROGRESS TO THE FRONTIERS. THE
AUTHOR ATTENDS THEM. THE MANNER IN WHICH HE LEAVES
THE COUNTRY VERY PARTICULARLY RELATED. HE RETURNS TO
ENGLAND.

HAD always a strong impulse that I should
some time recover my liberty, though it
was impossible to conjecture by what
means, or to form any project with the
least hope of succeeding. The ship in
which I sailed was the first ever known to
be driven within sight of that coast, and
the king had given strict orders, “ that if
at any time another appeared, it should
be taken ashore, and with all its crew and
passengers, brought in a tumbril to Lor-
brulgrud.” He was strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size,
by whom I might propagate the breed: but I think I should rather have
died than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to be kept in
cages, like tame canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the king-
dom, to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed treated with
much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king and queen, and the
delight of the whole court; but it was upon such a footing as ill became
the dignity of human kind. I could never forget those domestic pledges
I had left behind me. I wanted to be among people, with whom I could


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 129

converse upon even terms, and walk about the streets and fields without
being afraid of being trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. Butmy
deliverance came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very
common ; the whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully
relate.

T had now been two years in this country: and about the beginning of
the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a progress
to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in my tra-
velling-box, which, as I have already described, was a very convenient
closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to be fixed,
by silken ropes, from the four corners at the top, to break the jolts, when
a servant carried me before him on horseback, as I sometimes desired ;
and would often sleep in my hammock, while we were upon the road.
Onthe roof of my closet, not directly over the middle of the hammock, I

li

HF



























ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in not
weather, as I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew
backward and forward through a groove. .

17
130 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

When we came to our journey’s end, the king thought proper to pass
a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen
English miles of the sea side. Glumdalclitch and Iwere much fatigued
I had gotten asmall cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined to
her chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the only scene
of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I
really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page
whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me.
I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented,
nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me, bursting at
he same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some foreboding of what
was to happen. The boy took me out in my box, about half an hour's
walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the sea-shore. I ordered
him to set me down, and lifting up one of my sashes, cast many a wistful
melancholy look towards the sea. I found myself not very well, and
told the page that I had a mind to take a nap in my hammock, which I
hoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy shut the window close
down to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I conjecture is,
while I slept, the page, thinking no danger could happen, went among
the rocks to look for birds’ eggs, having before observed him from my
window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts. Be
that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent pull’upon
the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box, for the convenience
of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air, and then borne
forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me
out of my hammock, but afterward the motion was easy enough. i
called out several times as loud as i could raise my voice, but all to no
purpose. I looked towards my windows, and could see nothing but the
clouds andsky. I heard a noise just over my head, like the clapping of
wings, and then began to perceive the woeful condition I was in; that
some eagle had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let
3t fall on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body,
and devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to
discover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed than I
could be within a two-inch board.

In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase
very fast, and my box was tossed up and down like a sign on a windy
day. I heard several bangs or vuffets, as I thought, given to the eagle
(for such I am certain it must have been that held the ring of my box in
his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt myself falling perpendicularly
down, for above a minute, but with such incredible swiftness that I almost
lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. ** 131

Jouder to my ears than the cataract of N iagara ;* after which, I was quite
in the dark for another minute, and then my box began to rise’so hign,
that I could see light from the tops of the windows. I now petceived I
was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the goods







that were in, and the broad plate of iron fixed for strength at the four
corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet deep in water. I
did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle which flew away with my
box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let me drop, while
he defended himself against the rest, who hoped to share in the prey.
The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box (for those were the
strongest) preserved the balance while it fell, and hindered it from being
broken on the surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved ;

* This cataract is produced by the fall of a conflux of water (formed of the four
vast lakes of Canada) from a rocky precipice, the perpendicular height of whichis one
hundred and thirty-seven feet; and it is said to have been heard fifteen leagues.—H,
182 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

and the door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which
kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with much
difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the
slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in
air, for want of which I found myself almost stifled.

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from
whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth,
that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my
poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of the
queen, and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have not
been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at this juncture,
expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at least
overset by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A breach in one pane
of: glass would have been immediate death: nor could anything have
preserved the windows, but the strong lattice wires on the outside, against
accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at several crannies,
although the leaks were not considerable, and I endeavoured to stop
them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the roof of my closet,
which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sat on the top of it;
where I might at least preserve myself some hours longer, than by being
shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for
a day or two, what could I expect but a miserable death of cold and
hunger? Iwas four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and
indeed wishing, every moment to be my last.

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed
upon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the
servant who used to carry me on horseback would put a leathern belt,
and buckle it about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I heard,
or at least thought I heard, some kind of grating noise on that side of my
box where the staples were fixed; and soon after I began to fancy thit
the box was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a
sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows.
leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief,
although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I
ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always fastened to the
floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it down again, directly
under the slipping- board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the chair,
and putting my mouth as near as I could to the hole, I called for help in
a loud voice, and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened
my handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole,
waved it several times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near, the
seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 133

T found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet
to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better, that side of
the box where the staples were, and had no windows, struck against
something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found
myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of
my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it passed through
the ring. I then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet
higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and
handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to
which, I heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me such
transports of joy, as are not to be conceived but by those who feel them.
I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling through
the hole with a loud voice, in the English tongue, “(If there be anybody
below, let them speak.’ I answered, ‘‘I was an Englishman drawn by







1 oY mM
Lg i





= <



My

a BH
Se 4 SARs ;
a SS Le ee

iil fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent,
and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered of the dungeon I
was in.” The voice replied, “I was safe, for my box was fastened to
their ship; and the carpenter should immediately come and saw a hole
in the cover, large enough to pull me out.” I answered, “that was
needless, and would take up too much time; for there was no more to
be done, but to let one of the crew put his finger into the ring, and take
the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the captain’s cabin.”
Some of them, upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad;
others laughed; for indeed it never came into my head, that I was now
184 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

got among people of my own stature and strength.* The carpenter came,
and in. a few minutes sawed a passage of about four feet square, then let
down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken into
the ship in a very weak condition.

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions
which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the
sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so
long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous objects I had left. But the
captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an henest, worthy Shropshire man,
observing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial
to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to
take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I
gave him to understand that I had some valuable funiture in my box,
too good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two chairs,
a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides, or rather
quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of the crew bring
my closet into his cabin, I would open it there before him, and show him
my goods. The captain, hearing me utter these absurdities, concluded I
was raving; however (I suppose to pacify me) he promised to give
orders as I desired, and going upon deck, sent some of his men down into
my closet, whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods
and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead,
being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance of the
seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked off some of the
boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got all they had a
mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which, by reason of many
breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk outright. And, indeed, I
was glad not to have been a spectator of the havoc they made; because
I am confident it would have sensibly touched me, by bringing former
passages into my mind which I would rather have forgot.

I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place
Thad left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking I
found myself much recovered. It was now about eight o’clock at night,
and the captain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had already
fasted too long. He entertained me with great kindness, observing me
not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently ; and, when we were left alone,
desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and by what accident

* There are several little incidents which show the author to have had a deep
knowledge of human nature: and I think this is one. Although the principal
advantages enumerated by Gulliver in the beginning of this chapter, of mingling
again among his countrymen, depended on their being of the same size with him-
self, yet this is forgotten in his ardour to be delivered: and he is afterwards
betrayed into the same absurdity, by his zeal to preserve his furniture.—H.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 1385

I came to be set adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said,
“that about twelve o’clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass,
he espied it at a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he hada
mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying
some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer
and finding his error, he sent out his long beat, to discover what it was;
that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a swimming
house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself in the boat,
ordering his men to take a strong cable along with them. That the
weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my
windows and wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two
staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without any passage for
light. He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and fas-
tening a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as
they called it, towards the ship. When it was there, he gave directions
to fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my
chest with pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two
or three feet. He said, they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out
of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in
the cavity.” I asked, “whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious
birds in the air, about the time he first discovered me.” To which he
answered, “that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I was
asleep, one of them said, he had observed three eagles flying towards
the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger than the usual
size; which I suppose must be imputed to the great height they were
at; and he could not guess the reason of my question. I then asked the
captain, “ how far he reckoned we might be from land?” He said, “* by
the best computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues.”
I assured him he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the
country whence I came above two hours before TI dropped into the sea.”
Whereupon he began to think that my brain was disturbed, of which he
gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in a cabin he had provided

I assured him, “I was well refreshed with his good entertainment and,
company, and as much in my senses as ever I was in my life.” He then
grew serious, and desired to ask me freely, whether I were not troubled
in my mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I
was punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that
chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been forced to sea in
a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should be sorry to
have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage his word to
set me safe ashore, in the first port were we arrived.. He added, “that
his suspicions were much increased by some very absurd speeches I had
186 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

delivered at first to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my
closet or chest, as well as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at
supper.”

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did,
from the last time I left England to the moment he first discovered me.
And as truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this honest,
worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of learning, and very good
sense, was immediately convinced of my candour and veracity. But,
further to confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give order that my
cabinet should be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for he
had already informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I
opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small collection of
rarities Imade in the country from which I had been so strangely deli-
vered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the
king’s beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a paring
of her majesty’s thumb nail, which served for the back. There was a
collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half-a-yard long: four wasp
stings, like joiners’ tacks; some combings of the queen’s hair; a gold
ring, which one day she made me a present of in the most obliging
manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over my head
like a collar. I desired the captain would please toe accept this ring in

























return for his civilities ; which he absolutely refused. I showed him a
corn that I had cut off with my own hand from a maid of honour’s toe ;
it was about the bigness of a Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 187

when I returned to England, I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in
silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had then on, which
were made of a mouse’s skin,

I could force nothing on him but a footman’s tooth, which I observed
him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it.
He received it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could
deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one
of Glumdalclitch’s men, who was afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it was
as sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my
cabinet. It was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had given
him and said, “‘he hoped when we returned to England, I would oblige
the world by putting it on paper, and making it public.” My answer
was, ‘“ that I thought we were overstocked with books of travels: that
nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted
some authors less consulted truth than their own vanity, or interest, or
the diversion of ignorant readers; that my story could contain little
beside common events, without those ornamental descriptions of strange
plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous customs and
idolatry of savage people, with which most writers abound. However, I
thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into
my thoughts. f

He said “he wondered at one thing very much, which was to hear me
speak so loud ;” asking me, “whether the king or queen of that country
were thick of hearing?” I told him, “it was what I had been used to
for above two years past, and that I admired as much at the voices of him
and his men, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear
them well enough. But, when I‘spoke in that country, it was like a man
talking in the streets, to another looking out from the top of a steeple,
unless when I was placed on a table, or held in any person’s hand. I
told him, “I had likewise observed another thing; that when I first got
into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, 1 thought they were
the most contemptible little creatures I had ever beheld.” For indeed,
while I was in that prince’s country, I could never endure to look in a glass
after mine eyes had been accustomed to such prodigious objects, because
the comparisons gave me so despicable a conceit of myself. The captain
said, “‘that while we were at supper he observed me to look at everything
with a sort of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my
laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to some
disorder in my brain.” I answered, “it was very true; and I wondered
how I could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size of a silver three-
pence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not so big as a nutshell ;”

18
138 A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

and so I went on, describing the rest cf his household-stuff and pro-
visions, after the same manner. For, although the queen had ordered a
little equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was in her service,
yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me,
and I winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The
captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with an old
English proverb, “ that he doubted mine eyes were bigger than my belly,
for he did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all
day :” and continuing in his mirth, protested “‘he would have gladly
given a hundred pounds to have seen my chest in the eagle’s bill, and
afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea: which would
certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the des-
cription of it transmitted to future ages ;” and the comparison of Phaéton
was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not
much admire the conceit.

The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,
driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude of
143. But meeting a trade wind two days after I came on board him, we
sailed southward a long time, and coasting New-Holland, kept our
course west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till we doubled the
Cape of Good Hope. « Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not
trouble the reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or
two ports, and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water; but I
never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the
third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered
to leave my goods in security for payment of my freight, but the captain
protested he would not receive one farthing. We took akind leave of each
other, and I made him promise he would come and see me at my
house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings, which I
borrowed of the captain.

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the trees,
the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput. I was
afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called aloud to
have them stand out of the way, so that I had liked to have gotten one
or two broken heads for my impertinence.

‘When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire,
one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in (like a goose
under a gate), for fear of striking my head. My wife ran out to embrace
me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise
never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my

essing, but I could not see her till she arose, having been so long used
to stand with my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then I
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 139

went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked down upon
the servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if they
had been pigmies, and I a giant. I told my wife, “she had been too
thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her daughter to nothing.”
In short, I behaved myself so unaccountably, that they were all of the
captain’s opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had lost my
wits. This I mention as an instance of the great power of habit and
prejudice. :

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right under-
standing: but my wife protested I should never go to sea any more: al-
though my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to hinder me,
as the reader may know hereafter. In the mean time, I here conclude
the second part of my unfortunate voyages. _




































































































































































































































































140

THE LAMENTATION OF GLUMDALCLITCH
FOR THE LOSS OF GRILDRIG.



@ Pastoral.



Soon as Glumdalclitch miss’d her pleasing care,
She wept, she blubber’d, and she tore her hair :
No British miss sincerer grief has known,

Her squirrel missing, or her sparrow flown.

She furl’d her sampler, and haul’d in her thread,
And stuck her needle into Grildrig’s bed ;

Then spread her hands, and with a bounce let fall
Her baby, like the giant in Guildhall.

In peals of thunder now she roars—and now

She gently whimpers like a lowing cow;

Yet lovely in her sorrow still appears ;

Her locks dishevelled, and her floods of tears
Seem like the lofty barn of some rich swain,
When from the thatch drips fast a shower of rain.

In vain she searched each cranny of the house,

Each gaping chink impervious to a mouse.

‘Was it for this,” she cried, ‘‘ with daily care,
Within thy reach I set the vinegar ?

And filled the cruet with the acid tide,

While pepper-water-worms thy bait supplied,
Where twined the silver eel around thy hook,
And all the little monsters of the brook ;

Sure in that lake he dropp’d:—my Grilly’s drown’d !”
She dragg’d the cruet, and no Grildrig’s found.
‘Vain is thy courage, Grilly, vain thy boast;
But little creatures enterprise the most.
Trembling, I’ve seen thee dare the kitten’s paw;
Nay, mix with children as they play’d at taw,
Nor fear the marbles as they bounding flew;
Marbles to them, but rolling rocks to you.

“Why did I trust thee with that giddy youth?

Who from a page can ever learn the truth?
Versed in court-tricks, that money-loving boy,
To some lord’s daughter sold the living toy ;

Or rent him limb from limb in cruel play,

As children tear the wings of flies away:

From place to place o’er Brobdingnag I’ll roam,
And never will return ; or bring thee home.
DAMENT OF SLUMDALCLITCH 141

But who hath eyes to trace the passing wind ?—
How, then, thy fairy footsteps can I find?
Dost thou, bewilder’d, wander all alone,
In the green thicket of a mossy stone ?
Or tumbled from the toadstool’s slippery round,
Perhaps aJ] maim’d lie grov’ling on the ground?
Dost thou, embosom’d in the lovely rose,
Or, sunk within the peach’s down, repose ?
Within the king-cup, if thy limbs are spread,
Or in the golden cowslip’s velvet head, ‘
O show me, Flora, ’midst those sweets, the flower
Where sleeps my Grildrig in the fragrant bower !

“ But ah! I fear thy little fancy roves
On little females, and on little loves;
Thy pigmy children, and thy tiny spouse ;
The baby playthings that adorn thy house—
Doors, windows, chimneys, and the spacious rooms,
Equal in size to cells of honeycombs.
Hast thou for these now ventured from the shore,
Thy bark a bean-shell, and a straw thine oar?
Or, in thy box, now bounding on the main—
Shall I ne’er bear thyself and house again?
And shall I set thee on my hand no more,
To see thee leap the lines, and traverse o’er
My spacious palm? Of stature scarce 2 span,
Mimic the actions of a real man?
No more behold thee turn my watch’s key,
As seamen at a capstan anchor weigh!

** How wert thou wont to walk with cautious tread,
A dish of tea, like milk-pail, on thy head?
How chase the mite that bore thy cheese away,
And keep the rolling maggot at a bay!”

She spoke, but broken accents stopp’d her voice,
Soft as the speaking-trumpet’s mellow noise ;
She sobb’d a storm, and wiped her‘ flowing eyes
Which seem’d like two bread suns in misty skies:
O squander not thy grief,—those tears command,
To weep upon our cod in Newfoundland;
The plenteous pickle shall preserve the fish,
And Europe taste thy sorrows in her dish.




A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGG.
NAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN.*

CHAPTER I.

THE AUTHOR SETS OUT ON HIS THIRD VOYAGE. IS TAKEN BY
PIRATES. THE MALICE OF A DUTCHMAN. HIS ARRIVAL AT AN
ISLAND. HE IS RECEIVED IN LAPUTA.

HAD not been at home above ten days
when captain William Robinson, a Cor-
nishman, commander of the Hopewell, a
stout ship, of three hundred tons, came
to my house, I had formerly been sur-
_-geon of another ship, where he was
* master and a fourth part owner, in a
: voyage to the Levant. He had alwaya
A; treated me more like a brother, than an

C4)2e\* inferior officer; and hearing of my ar-
rival, made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for
nothing passed more than what is usual after long absences. But



* Dean Swift seems to have borrowed several hints, in his voyage to Laputa, from
a novel written by the learned Dr. Francis Godwin, bishop of Llandaff, called ‘‘ Man
in the Moon, or a Discourse of a voyage thither, by Domingo Gonsales, 1638,” 8vo.
This philosophic romance, which has been several times printed, shows that Bishop
Godwin had a creative genius. His “Nuncius Inanimatus,” which contains
instructions to convey secret intelligence, is very scarce. He died in April 1633.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 148 .

repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find me in good health,
asking, “ whether I were now settled for life,” adding “that he intended
a voyage to the East Indies in two months ;” at last he plainly invited me,
though with some apologies, to be surgeon of the ship; “that I should





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have another surgeon under me, beside our two mates; that my salary
should be double to the usual pay; and that having experienced my
knowledge in sea affairs to be at least equal to his, he would enter into
any engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had shared in the
command.’

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so
honest a man, that I could not reject his prososal; the thirst I had of
seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as
violent as ever. The only difficulty that remained, was to persuade my
wife, whose consent, however, I at last obtained, by the prospect of
advantage she proposed to her children.

We sce out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at: Fort St.
George the 11th of April, 1707. We stayed there three weeks to
refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to
Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time, because
many of the goods he intended to buy, were not ready, nor could he
expect to be despatched in several months. Therefore, in hopes to defray
some of the charges he must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with
several sorts of goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the
neighbouring islands, and putting fourteen men on board, whereof three
144 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

were of the country, he appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me.
power to traffic, while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.

We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we
were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east:
after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale from
the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who
soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deeply laden, that she sailed very
slow, neither were we in a condition to defend ourselves.

We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who entered
furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all prostrate upon our
faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes, and
setting a guard upon us, went to search the sloop.

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some autho-
rity, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by our
countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in our own language,
swore we should be tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoke
Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him, in con-
sideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring
countries in strict alliance, that he would move the captains to take some
pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated the threatenings, and
turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese
language, as I suppose, often using the word Christianos.

The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese
captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to
me, and after several’ questions, which I answered in great humility, he
said, ‘we should not die.” I made the captain a very low bow, and
then, turning to the Dutchman, said, ‘I was sorry to find more mercy in
a Heathen, that in a brother Christian.’ But I had soon reason to repent
those foolish words: for that malicious reprobate, having often endea-
voured in vain to persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into
the sea (which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I
should not die,) however prevailed so far, as to have a punishment
inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance than death itself. My
men were sent by an equal division into both the pirate ships, and my
sloop new manned. As to myself, it was determined that I should be
set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail, and four days’ provi-
sions; which last, the Japanese captain was so kind as to double out of his
own stores, and would permit no man to search me. I got down into
the canoe, while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with
all the curses and injurious terms his language could afford.

About an hour before we saw the pirates, I had taken an observation,
and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and longitude of 188, When
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 145

I was at some distance from the pirates, I discovered by my pocket-glass,
several islands to the south-east. -I set up my sail, the wind being fair,
with a design to reach the nearest of those islands, which I made a shift
to do, in about three hours... It was all rocky: however I got many birds’
eggs; and striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry sea-weed, by
which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved to
spare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the
shelter of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well.

The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and
fourth, sometimes using my sail, sometimes my paddles. But, not to
trouble the reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it suffice
that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my sight, which lay
south-south-east to the former.

This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not
reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round, before
I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a small creek,
about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be
all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of grass, and sweet
smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions, and after having
refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were
great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and got a
quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle
the next day, and roast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me
my flint, steel, watch, and burning glass. I lay all night in the cave
where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and
sea-weed which I intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiet
of my mind prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I con-
sidered how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place,
and how miserable my end must be: yet found. myself so listless and
desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could get
spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I
walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly. clear, and the
sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on.a
sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very different from
what happens by the interposition of a cloud. JI turned back, and
perceived a vast opaque body between me and the sun moving forward
towards the island; it seemed to be about two miles high, and hid the
sun six or seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much
colder, or the sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of
a mountain. As it approached nearer over the place where I was,
it appeared to be a firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining
very bright, from the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height

19
146 A YOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

of about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast bod
descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile
distance. I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover



numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared
to be sloping; but what those people were doing I was not able to
distinguish.

The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I was
ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way or other,
help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in. But
at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to
behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who were able (as
it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as they
pleased. But not being at that time in a disposition to philosophize
upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what course the island
would take, because it seemed for a while to stand still. Yet soon after
it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of it encompassed with
several gradations of galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, to descend
from one to the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 147

fishing with long angling-rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap
(fer my hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief towards the
island; ard upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the
utmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I beheld
a crowd gathered to that side which was most in my view. I found by
their pointing towards me and to each other, that they plainly discovered
me, although they made no return to my shouting. But I could sce
four or five men running in great haste, up the stairs, to the top of the
island, who then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture, that
these were sent for orders, to some person in authority, upon this
occasion. ;

The number of people increased, and in less than half an hour, the
island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest gallery
appeared in a parallel of less than a hundred yards’ distance from the
height where I stood. I then put myself in the most supplicating
posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but received no answer.
Those who stood nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of
distinction, as I supposed by their habits, They conferred earnestly with
each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called out in
a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the Italian; and
therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at least ‘hat the
cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us
understood the other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people
saw the distress I was in.

They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards
the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised to
a conyenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down
from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I
tixed myseif, and was drawn up by pulleys.


CHAPTER II.

THE HUMOURS AND DISPOSITIONS OF THE LAPUTIANS DESCRIBED.
AN ACCOUNT OF THEIR LEARNING. OF THE KING AND His
COURT. THE AUTHOR'S RECEPTION THERE. THE INHABITANTS
SUBJECT TO FEAR AND DISQUIETUDES. AN ACCOUNT OF THE

WOMEN.

r my alighting, I was surrounded hy a
crowd of people, but those who stood
nearest seemed to be of better quality,
They beheld me with all the marks and
circumstances of wonder: neither, indeed,
was I much in their debt; having never
till then seen a race of mortals so singular
in their shapes, habits, and countenances.
Their heads were all reclined, either to the
right, or the left; one of their eyes turned
and the other directly up to the zenith.* Their outward gar-
ments were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars ; inter-



* By this description the author intended to ridi ule those who waste life in
speculative sciences, the powers of whose minds are as absurdly employed as the
eyes of Laputians —H.
QULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 149

woven with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords,
and many other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. J
observed, here and there, many in the habit of servants, with blown
bladders, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they carried in
their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of dried peas, or
little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With these bladders they
now and then flapped the mouths and ears of those who stood near them,
of which practice I could not then conceive the meaning. It seems the
minds of these people are so taken up with intense speculations, that
they can neither speak, nor attend to the discourses of others, without
being roused by some external action upon the organs of speech and
hearing ; for which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always
keep a flapper (the original is climenole) in their family, as one of their
domestics; nor ever walk abroad or make visits without him. And
the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more persons are in
company, gently to strike with his bladder the mouth of him who is to
speak, and the right ear of him or them to whom the speaker addresses
himself. This flapper is likewise employed diligently to attend his
master in his walks, and upon occasion to give him a soft flap on his
eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in
manifest danger of falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head
against every post; and in the streets, of jostling others, or being jostled
himself into the kennel.

It is necessary to give the reader this information, without which he
would be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of these
people, as they conducted me up the stairs, to the top of the island, and
from thence to the royal palace. While we were ascending, they forgot
several times what they were about, and left me to myself, till their
memories were again roused by their flappers: for they appeared alto-
gether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and
by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were more
disengaged.

At last we entered the palace, and proceeded to the chamber of
presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on each
side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a large table
filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical instruments of all kinds.
His majesty took not the least notice of us, although our entrance was
not without sufficient noise, by the concourse of all persons belonging to
the court. But he was then deep in a problem; and we attended at
least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood by him, on each
side, a young page with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was
at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his right
*

159 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

ear; at which he startled like one awakened on a sudden, and looking
towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of our
coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke some words ;
whereupon, immediately a young man with a flap came up to my side,
and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs, as well as I











could, that I had no occasion for such an instrument ; which, as I after-
ward found, gave his majesty and the whole court a very mean opinion
of my understanding. The king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me
several questions, and I addressed myself to him in all the languages I
had. When it was found I could neither understand nor be understood,
I was conducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince
being distinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality to
strangers) where two servants were appointed to attend me. My dinner
was brought, and four persons of quality, whom I remember to have seen
very near the king's person, did me the honour to dine with me. We
had two courses, of three dishes each. In the first course there was a
shoulder of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a
rhomboid, and a pudding into a cycloid. The second course was two
ducks trussed up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings resem-
bling flutes and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp.
The servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and
other mathematical figures.

While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several
things in their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of
their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admira-
GULLIVER § TRAVELS. 151

tion of their great abilities, if I could be brought to converse with them.
I was soon able to call for bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted.

After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent by the
king’s order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pens, ink,
and paper, and three or four books, giving me to understand, by signs,
that he was sent to teach me the language. Wesat together four hours,
in which time I wrote down a great number of words in columns, with
the translations over against them: I likewise made a shift to learn
several short sentences ; for my tutor would order some of my servants
to fetch something, to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand,
or walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He
showed me also, in one of the books, the figures of the sun, moon, and
stars, the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the deno-
minations of many planes and solids. He gave me the names and
descriptions of all their musical instruments, and the general terms of art
in playing on each ofthem. After he had left me, I placed all my words,
with their interpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus, in a few
days, by the help of a very faithful memory, I got some insight into their
language.

The word, which I interpret the flying or floating island, is in the
original Laputa, whereof I could never learn the true etymology. Lap,’
in the old obsolete language, signifies high; and untuk, a governor;
from which they say, by corruption, was derived Laputa, from Lapuntuh.
But I do not approve of this derivation, which seems to be a little
strained. Iventured to offer to the learned men among them a con-
jecture of my own, that Laputa was quast lap outed; lap, signifying
properly, the dancing of the sun-beams in the sea, and outed, a wing;
which, however, I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.

Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was
clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take my measure for a suit
of clothes. This operator did his office after a different manner from
those of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant,
and then, with rule and compasses, described the dimensions and
outlines of my whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in six
days brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by
happening to make a mistake of a figure in the calculation. But my
comfort was, that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little
regarded.

During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition
that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary;
and when I next went to court, was able to understand many things
the king spoke, and to return him some kind of answers. His majesty
152 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

“had given orders, that the island should move north-east and by east, to
the vertical point over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom
below, upon the firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and
our voyage lasted four days and a-half. I was not in the least sensible
of the progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second
morning, about eleven o’clock, the king himself in person, attended by
his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their musical
instruments, played on them for three hours, without intermission, so
that I was quite stunned with the noise ; neither could I possibly guess
the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said, “ that the people of
their island had their ears adapted to hear the music of the spheres,
which always played at certain periods, and the court was now prepared
to bear their part, in whatever instruments they most excelled.”

In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered
that the island should stop over certain towns and village, from whence
he might receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this purpose,
several packthreads were let down, with small weights at the bottom.
On these packthreads the people strung their petitions, which mounted
up directly, like the scraps of paper fastened by schoolboys at the end of
the string that holds the kite. Sometimes we received wine and victuals
from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.

The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in
acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that science,
and music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are
perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they would, for example,
praise the beauty of a woman, or any other animal, they describe it by
rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or
by words of art drawn from music, needless here to repeat. I observed
in the king’s kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical instruments,
after the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served at his
majesty’s table.

Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right angle
in any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt they bear to
practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanical: those
instructions they give being too refined for the intellects of their work-
men, which occasion perpetual mistakes. And although they are dex-
trous enough upon a piece of paper, in the management of the rule,
the pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and behaviour of
life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy people, nor
so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other subjects, ex-
cept those of mathematics and music. They are very bad reasoners, and
vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of the

$
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 153

right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy, and in-
vention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in their lan-
guage, by which those ideas can be expressed ; the whole compass of their
thoughts and mind being shut up within the two forementioned sciences.

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part,
have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to own
it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether un-
accountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards news
and politics, perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving their judg
ments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every inch of a
party opinion. I have, indeed, observed the same disposition among most
of the mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I could never
discover the least analogy between the two sciences ; unless those people
suppose, that because the smaliest circle has as many degrees as the
largest, therefore the regulation and: management of the world require no
more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe: but I rather take
this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of human nature,
inclining us to be most curious and conceited in matters where we have
least concern, and for which we are least adapted by study or nature.

These people are under continual disquictudes, never enjoying a
minute’s peace of mind: and their disturbances proceed from causes
which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise
from several changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance,
that the earth, by the continual approaches of the sun towards it, must,
in course of time, be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the
sun, will, by degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and: give no
more light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush
from the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to
ashes ; and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-thirty
years hence, will probably destroy us, For if, in its perihelion, it should
approach within a certain degree of the sun, (as by their calculations
they have reason to dread), it will receive a degree of heat ten thousand
times more intense than that of red hot glowing iron; and, in its absence
from the sun, carrying a blazing tail ten hundred thousand and fourteen
miles long; through which, if the earth should pass at the distance of
one hundred thousand miles from the nucleus, or main body of the
comet, it must in its passage be sct on fire, and reduced to ashes: that
the sun, daily spending its rays without any nutriment to supply them,
will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be
attended with the destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that
receive their light from it.*

* Allthese were suppositions of persons eminent in their time for mathematical
knowledge.— H.

20
154 A VOYAGE To LAPUTA,-ETC.

‘They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehension of these, and
the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in their
‘beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and amusements of
life. When they meet an acquaintance in the morning, the first ques-
tion is about the sun’s health, how he looked at his setting and rising,
and what hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching comet.
This conversation they are apt to run into with the same temper that
boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits and
hhobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for
fear.

The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they contemn
their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers; whereof there is
always a considerable number from the continent below, attending at
court, either upon affairs of the several towns and. corporations, or their
own particular occasions, but are much despised, because they want the





same endowments. Among these, the ladies choose their gailants; but
the vexation is that they act with too much ease and security; for the |
GULLIVER’s TRAVELS, 156

husband is always so rapt in speculation, that the mistress and lover may
proceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he be but provided
with paper and implements, and without his flapper at his side.

The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,
although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world: and
although they live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and are
allowed to do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and take
the diversions of the metropolis; which they are not allowed to do
without a particular license from the king; and this is not easy to be
obtained, because the people of quality have found, by frequent ex-
perience, how hard it is to persuade.their women to return from below.
I was told, that a great ‘court lady,who had several children,—is married to
the prime minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful
person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the island,
—went down to Lagado on the pretence of health, there hid herself for
several months, till the king sent a warrant to search for her; and she
was found in an obscure eating-house all in rags, having aes her
clothes to maintain an old deformed.footman, who beat her every day,
and in whose company she was taken, much against her will. And~
although her husband received her with all possible kindness, and
without the least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down
again; with all her wWeviels 1 to the. same gallant, and has not been ee
of since. :

This may, perhaps, pass with the reader rather for a European or
English story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may please
to. consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any
climate or nation, and that they are much more uniform than can be
easily imagined.

In about a month’s time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in their
language, and was able to answer most of the king’s questions, when I
had the honour to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least
curiosity to inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or
manners of the countries where I had been; but confined his questions
to the state of mathematics, and received the account I gave him with:
great contempt and indifference, though often roused by his flapper on
each side.


GHAPTER If.

A PHENOMENON SOLVED BY MODERN PHILOSOPHY AND ASTRONOMY.
THE LAPUTIANS’ GREAT IMPROVEMENTS IN THE LATLER, THE
KING’S METHOD OF SUPPRESSING INSURRECTIONS.

DESIRED leave of this prince to see the
curiosities of the island, which he was
graciously pleased to grant, and ordered
my tutor to attend me. I chiefly wanted
to know, to what cause im art or in nature
it owed its several motions, whereof I will
now give a philosophical account to the
reader.

The flying or floating island is exactly
circular, its diameter 7837 yards, or about
four miles and a half, and consequently contains ten thousand acres. It
is three hundred yards thick. The bottom,. or under surface, which
appears to those who view it below, is one even regular plate of adamant,
shooting up to the height of about two hundred yards. Above it lie the
several minerals in their usual order, and over all isa coat of rich mould,
ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity of the upper surface, from the
circumference to the centre, is the natural cause why all the dews and
rains, which fall upon the island, are conveyed in small rivulets towards
the middle, where they are emptied into four large basins, each of about
half a mile in circuit, and two hundred yards distance from the centre.
From these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in the day




GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 157

time, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it 1s in
the power of the monarch to raise the island above the region of clouds
and vapours, he can prevent the falling of dews and rain whenever he
pleases. For the highest clouds cannot rise above two miles, as natu-
ralists agree; at least they were never known to do so in that country.

At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in
diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which is
therefore called flandona gagnole, or the-astronomers’ cave, situated at
the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper surface of the adamant.
In this cave are twenty lamps continually burning, which, from the
reflection of the adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The place
is stored with a great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes,
and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest. curiosity, upon
which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of prodigious size, in
shape resembling a weaver’s shuttle. It is in length six yards, and in
the thickest part at least three yards over. This “magnet is sustained by
a very strong axle of adamant passing through its middle, upon which it
plays, and is poised so exactly that the weakest hand can turn it. It is
hooped round with a hollow cylinder of adamant, four feet deep, as many
thick, and twelve yards in diameter, placed horizontally, and: supported
be eight adamantine feet, each six yards high. In the middle of the
concave side, there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which the ex-
tremities of the axle are lodged, and turned round as there is occasion.

The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the
hoop and its feet are one continued picce with that body of adamant
which constitutes the bottom of the island. ]

By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and
move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the
earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of its
sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive. Upon
placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end towards the earth, the
island descends; but when the repelling extremity points downwards,
the island mounts directly upward. When the position of the stone: is
oblique, the motion of the island is so too: for in this magnet, the forces
always act in lines parallel to its direction.

By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of the
monarch’s dominions. 'To explain the manner of its progress let 4 B
represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let the line
¢ drepresent the loadstone, of which let d be the repelling end, and ¢
the attracting end, the island being over C’: let the stone be placed in
position c d, with its repelling end downward; then the island will be
driven upwards obliquely towards D. ‘When it is arrived at D, let the
158 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

stone be turned upon its axle, till its attracting end points tc wards 2,
and then the island will be carried obliquely towards #; where, if the
stone be again turned upon its axle till it stands in the position # I,
with its repelling point downwards, .the.island. will rise obliquely
towards /’, where, by directing the attracting end towards G, the island
may be carried to G', and from:.G to H, by turning the stone so as to
make its’ repelling- extremity point directly. downward. ‘And thus, “by
changing the situation of the stone,.as often as there is occasion, the
island is:made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and by
those alternate risings' ‘and: fallings (the obliquity. being not considerable)
is conveyed from: one part of the dominions ‘to the other. ¢

But it must:he observed, that this island. cannot moye beyond the extent
of the dominions ‘below, ner*can it rise above the height of four miles.
For which the astronomers (who have written ; large systems | concerning
the stone;) assign the following reason: that the magnetic virtue dves not
extend beyond the distance of four miles, and that the mineral, which
acts upon-the stené in the bowels of the earth, and in the.sea about six
leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe,
but terminates with the limits of the -king’s dominions ; and it was easy,

from the gréat; adVantage of such’ a superior situation, _for.a prince to
bring under his. obedience whatever country lay within the attraction of
that magnet...

‘When the sone is put parallel to the plane “of the horizon, the land
stands still; for-in that case the extremities of it, being at equal distances
from the earth, act sith equal force, the one in drawing downwards,
and the other in pushing upwards, and consequently no motion can
ensue.

This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from
time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs. They spend
the greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which
they do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling ours in goodness. For,
although their largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, they magnify
much more than those of a hundred with us, and show the stars with greater
clearness. This advantage has enabled them to extend their discoveries
much farther than our astronomers in Europe; for they have made a
catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours does
not contain above one-third part of that number. They have likewise
discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about Mars ;
whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the primary planet
exactly three of his diameters, and the outermost, five; the former re=
volves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a-half;
so that the squares of their periodical times are very nearly in the same
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 159

proportion with the cubes of their distance, from the centre of Mars ;
which evidently shows them to be governed by the same law of gravita-
tion that influetices the other heavenly bodies.

They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled their
periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it with
great confidence,) it is much to be wished that their observations were
made public, whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very lame
and defective, might be brought to the same perfection as other parts of
astronomy.

The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he
could but prevail on his ministry to join with him; but these having their
estates below on the continent, and considering that the office of a favour-
ite has a very uncertain tenure, would never consent to the enslaving of
their country.

If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent fac-
tions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two methods of
reducing them to obedience. ‘The first and the mildest course is, by
keeping the island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it,
whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and
consequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases: and if the
crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted from above with great
stones, against which they have no defence but by creeping into cellars
or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if
they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to
the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly upon their heads,
which makes an universal destruction both of houses and men. How-
ever, this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom driven; neither,
indeed, is he willing to put it into execution; nor dare his ministers
advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to the
people, so it would be a great damage to their own estates, which lie all
below ; for, the island is the king’s demesne.

But there is still, indeed, a more weighty reason, why the kings of this
country have been always averse from executing so terrible an action,
unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town intended to be
destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls out in the
larger cities, a situation probably chosen at first with a view to prevent
such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or pillars of stone, a
sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under surface of the island,
which, although it consists, as I have said, of one entire adamant, two
hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a shock,
or burst by approaching too near the fires from the houses below, as the
backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Of all this
160 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

the people are well apprized, and understand how far to carry their
obstinacy, where their liberty or property is concerned. And the king,
when he is highest provoked, and most determined to press a city to
rubbish, orders the island to descend with great gentleness, out of a
pretence of tenderness to his people, but, indeed, for fear of breaking the
adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all their philo-
sophers, that the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and the whole
mass would fall to the ground.

By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of his
two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the queen, till she
is past child-bearing.









AlAs : = —_


CHAPTER IV.

THE AUTHOR LEAVES LAPUTA; IS CONVEYED TO BALNIBARBA; AR-
RIVES AT THE METROPOLIS. A DESCRIPTION OF THE METROPOLIS.
AND THE COUNTRY ADJOINING. THE AUTHOR HOSPITABLY RE-
CEIVED BY A GREAT LORD. HIS CONVERSATION WITH THAT

LORD.











Z yrHoueH I cannot say that I was ill treated
alii: in this island, yet I must confess I thought
iid myself too much neglected, not without some
= degree of contempt; for neither prince nor
people appeared to be curious in any part of
‘= knowledge, except mathematics and music,
El wherein I was far their inferior, and upon
=| that account very little regarded.
j On the other side, after having seen all

TT imimnnn’, the curiosities of the island, I was very de-
sirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those people. They were
indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have great esteem, and
wherein I am not unversed; but at the same time, so abstracted and in-
volved in speculation, that I never met with such disagreeable com-
panions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen, flappers, and court-
pages, during two months of my abode there, by which, at last, I ren-
dered myself extremely contemptible; yet these were the only peopie
from whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer.

21
























162 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their
language: I was weary of being confined to an island, where I received
so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first opportunity.

There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for
that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the
most ignorant and stwpid person among them. He had performed many
eminent services for the crown, had great natural and acquired. parts,
adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill an ear for music, that his
detractors reported, “he had been often known to beat time in the wrong
place;” neither could his tutors, without extreme difficulty, teach him to
demonstrate the most easy proposition in the mathematics. He was
pleased to show me many marks of favour; often did me the honour of a
visit; desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe; the laws and
customs, the manner and learning of the several countries where I had
travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very wise
observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending him for
state, but never made use of them, except at court, and in visits of cere-
mony; and would always command them to withdraw, when we were
alone together.

I entreated with this illustrious person to intercede in my behalf with
his majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was
pleased to tell me, with regret: for, indeed, he had made me several
offers, very advantageous, which, however, I refused with expressions of
the highest acknowledgment.

On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court.
The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred pounds
English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, together with a
letter of recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis :
the island being then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it,
Iwas let down from the lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had
been taken up.

The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying
island, passes under the general name of Balnibarbi; and the metropolis,
as I said before, is called Lagado. I felt some little satisfaction in find-
ing myself on firm ground. I walked to the city without any concern,
being clad like one of the natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse
with them. I soon found out the person’s house to whom I was re-
commended, presented my letter from his friend the grandee in the
island, and was received with much kindness. This great lord, whose
name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his own house, where I
continued during my stay, and avas entertained in a most hospitable
manner,
QULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 163

The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see
the town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the houses
very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in the
streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally in
rags. We passed through one of the town gates, and went about three
miles into the country, where I saw many labourers working with several
sorts of tools in the ground, but was not able to conjecture what they
were about; neither did I observe any expectation either of corn or
grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear
admiring at these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I
made bold to desire my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain
to me, what could be meant, by so many busy heads, hands, and faces,
both in the streets and in the fields, because I did not discover any good
effect they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so un-
happily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a people
whose countenances and habits expressed so much misery and want.

This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some
years governor of Lagado, but by a cabal of ministers, was discharged
for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with tenderness, as a
well-meaning man, but of a low, contemptible understanding.

When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he
made no further answer than by telling me, “ that I had not been long
enough among them to form a judgment; and that the different nations
of the world had different customs ;” with other common topics to the
same purpose. But, when we returned to his palace, he asked me,
“how I liked the building, what absurdities I observed, and what
quarrel I had with the dress or looks of his domestics. This he might
safely do; because everything about him was magnificent, regular, and
polite. I answered, “that his excellency’s prudence, quality, and for-
tune, had exempted him from those defects, which folly and beggary had
produced in others.” He said, “if I would go with him to his country-
house, about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be
more leisure for this kind of conversation.” I told his excellency,
“that I was entirely at his disposal ;” and accordingly we set out next
morning.

During our journey he made me observe the several methods used. by
farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccount-
able ; for, except in some very few places, I could not discover one ear
of corn, or blade of grass. But in three hours’ travelling, the scene was
wholly altered; we came into a most beautiful country: farmer’s houses,
at small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing vine-
yards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I remember to have
164 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency observed my counte-
nance to clear up; he fold me with a sigh, “that there his estate began,
and would continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his
countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his affairs no
better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom ; which, how-
ever, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful, and weak
like himself.

We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure,
built according to the best rules of architecture. The fountains, gar-



dens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with exact judgment
and taste. I gave due praises to everything I saw, whereof his excel-
lency took not the least notice till after supper; when, there being no
third companion, he told me with a very melancholy air, “ that he doubted
le must throw down his houses in town and country, to rebuild them
after the present mode; destroy all his plantations, and cast others into
suck a form as modern usage required, and give the same directions to all
his'tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride, singula-
rity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase his majesty’s dis.
pleasure; that the adiniration I appeared to be under would cease or
diminish, when he had informed me of some particulars which probably
T never heard of at court; the people there being too much taken up
in their own speculations, to have regard to what passed here below.
QGULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 165

The sum of his discourse was to this effect: ‘that about forty years
ago, certam persons went upto Laputa, either upon business or diversion,
and, after five months’ continuance, came back with a very little smat-
tering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits, acquired in that airy
region: that these persons, upon their return, began to dislike the ma-
nagement of everything below, and fell into schemes of putting all arts,
sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon anew footing. To this end, they
procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of projectors in Lagado ;
and the humour prevailed so strongly among the people, that there is
not a town of any consequence in the kingdom without such an academy.
In these colleges the professors contrive new rules and methods of
agriculture and building, and new instruments and tools for all trades
and manufactures ; whereby, as they undertake one man shall do the
work of ten, a palace may be built in a week, of materials so durable as
to last for ever without repairing. All the fruits of the earth shall come
to maturity at whatever season we think fit to choose, and increase a
hundred-fold more than they do at present; with innumerable other
happy proposals. The only inconvenience is, that none of these projects
are yet brought to perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country
lies miserably waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food or
clothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times
more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by
hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of an enterprising
spirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to live in the house his
ancestors had built, and act as they did, in every part of life, without
innovation: that some few other persons of quality and gentry had
done the same, but were looked on with an eye of contempt and ill-will,
as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill commonwealth’s men, preferring
their own ease and sloth before the general improvement of their
country.”

His lordship added, “that he would not, by any further particulars,
prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand
academy, whither he was resolved I should go.’ He only desired me
to observe a ruined building, upon the side of a mountain about three
miles distant, of which he gave me this account: ‘that he had a very
convenient mill within half a mile of his house, turned by a current from
a large river, and sufficient for his own family, as well as a great number
of his tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of those projectors
came to him with proposals to destroy this. mill, and build another on
the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must
be cut, for a repository of water, té be conveyed up by pipes and engines
to supply the mill: because the wind and air upon a height agitated the
166 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

water, and thereby made it fitter for motion; and because the water,
descending down a declivity, would turn the mill with half the current
of a river, whose course is more upon a level.” He said, “ that being
then not very well with the court, and pressed by many of his friends,
- he complied with the proposal: and after.employing a hundred men for
two years, the work miscarried, the projectors went off, laying the blame
entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and putting others upon the
same experiment, with equal assurance of success, as well as equal
disappointment.

In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering
the bad character he had in the academy, would not go with me himself,
but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear me company thither.
My lord was pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and
a person of much curiosity and easy belief; which, indeed, was not
without truth: for I had myself been a sort of projector in my younger
days.




CHAPTER V,

THE AUTHOR PERMITTED TO SEE THE GRAND ACADEMY OF LAGADO.
THE ACADEMY LARGELY DESCRIBED. THE ARTS WHEREIN THE
PROFESSORS EMPLOY THEMSELYES,

z| HIS academy is not an entire single build-
ing, but a continuation of several houses on
both sides of a street, which growing waste,
was purchased and applied to that use.

I was received very kindly by the war-
den, and went for many days in the aca-
demy. Every room has in it one or more
projectors ; and I believe I could not be in
a fewer than five hundred rooms.
es = ool The first man I saw was of a meagre
aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and
singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the
same colour. He had been eight years upon a project for extracting
sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically
sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told
me, he did not doubt, that in eight years more, he should be able to
supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate; but
he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me “ to give him
something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially since this had
been a very dear year for cucumbers.” I made him a small present,


168 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

for my lord had furnished me with money on purpose, because he knew
their practice of begging from all who go to see them.

I went into another chamber, but 1 was ready to hasten back, being
almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me
forward, conjuring me in a whisper “to give no offence, which would be



highly resented ;” and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose.
The protector of this cell was the most ancient student of the academy ;
his face and beard were of a pale yellow ; his hands and clothes daubed
over with filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close
embrace; a compliment I could well have excused. His employment,
from his. first coming into the academy, was an operation to reduce
human excrement to its original food, by separating the several parts,
removing the tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour
exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance from
the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a
Bristol barrel.
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 169

saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise
showed mea treatise he had written concerning the een of fire,
which he intended to publish.

There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new
method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working
downwards to the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like
practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider,

There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own
condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which
their master taught them to distinguish, by feeling and smelling. It
was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in
their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally
mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole
fraternity.

In another apartment, I was highly pleased with a projector who had
found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges
of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of ground
you bury, at six inches’ distance and eight deep, a quantity of acorns,
dates, chesnuts, and other mast or vegetables whereof these animals are
fondest ; then you drive six hundred .of them into the field, where, in a
few days, they will root up the whole ground in search of their feed, and
make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung: it
is true, upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great,
and they had little or no crop. However, it is not doubted, that his
invention may be capable of great improvement.

I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung
round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and
out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, ‘not to disturb his webs.”
He lamented ‘the fatal mistake the world had been so long in, of using
silk-worms, while we had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitely
excelled the former, because they understood how to weave, as well as
spin.” Andhe proposed further, “that by employing spiders, the charge
of dyeing silks should be wholly saved ;” whereof I was fully convinced
when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,
wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us “that the webs would take a
tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit
everybody’s fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of
certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength and
consistence to the threads.”

There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial
upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the annual
and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide

with all accidental turnings of the wind.
22
176 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductor
led me into a room where a great physician resided, who was famous for
curing that disease, by contrary operations from the same instrument.
He had a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle of ivory:
this he conyeyed eight inches up the anus, and drawing in the wind, he
affirmed he could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when
the disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the
bellows were full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the
patient; then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his
thumb strongly against the orifice of the fundament; and this being
repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out,
bringing the noxious along with it (like water put into a pump), and the
patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but
could not discern any effect from the former. After the latter, the
animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very
offensive to me and my companion. The dog died on the spot, and we
left the doctor endeavouring to recover him, by the same operation.

I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with
all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.

I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being
appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall
say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who
is called among them “ the universal artist.” He told us “she had been
thirty years employing his thoughts for the improvement of human life.”
He had two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at
work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by
extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate ;
others softening marble, for pillows and pincushions; others petrifying
the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The
artist himself was at that time busy upon two great designs; the first, to
sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to be
contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, which I was not
skilful enough to comprehend. ‘The other was, by a certain composition
of gums, minerals, and vegetables, outwardly applied, to prevent the
growth of wool upon two young lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable
time, to propagate the breed of naked sheep, all over the kingdom.

We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have
already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.

The first professor I saw was in a very large room, with forty pupils’
about him. After salutation; observing me to look earnestly upon a
frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth of.
the room, he said, ‘perhaps 1 might wonder to see him employed in as
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 171

project for improving speculative knowledge, by practical and mechanical
operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its usefulness ; and
he flattered himself, that a more noble exalted thought never sprang in
any other man’s head. Every one knew how laborious the usual method
is of attaining to arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the
most ignorant person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily
labour, might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathe-
matics, and theology, without the least assistance from genius or study.”
He then led me to the frame, about the sides whereof all his pupils
stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the
room. ‘The superficies was composed of several bits of wood, about the
bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were all linked
together by slender wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every
square, with paper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all
the words of their language, in their several moods, tenses, and declen-
sions: but without any order. The professor then desired me “to
observe; for he was going to set his engine at work.” The pupils, at
his command, took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof there
were forty fixed round the edges of the frame ; and giving them a sudden
turn the whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then
commanded six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly as
they appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four
words together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the
four remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three
or four times; and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the
words shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside
down. A ' ds

Six hours a day the young ‘students were employed in this labour; and
the professor showed me several volumes in large folio already collected
of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of
those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of all arts and
sciences; which, however, might be still improved and much expedited,
if the public would raise a fund for making and employing five hundred
such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common
their several collections.

He assured me “that the invention had employed all his thoughts
from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his
frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion
there is in books between the number of particles, nouns, and verbs, and
other parts of speech.”

I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for
his great communicativeness ; and promised, ‘:if ever I had the good
172 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as
the sole inventor of this wonderful machine ;”’ the form and contrivance
of which I desired leave to delineate on paper. I told him, “although
it was the custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each
other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a con-
troversy which was the right owner: yet I would take such caution, that
he should have the honour entire, without a rival.” |

' We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat
in consultation upon improving that of their own country.

The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting polysyllables
into one, and leaving out verbs and participles; because in reality all
things imaginable are but nouns.

The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words
whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health,
as well as brevity. or it is plain, that every word we speak is, in some
degree, a diminution of our lungs by. corrosion; and. consequently
contributes to the shortening of our lives.. An expedient was therefore
offered, ‘ that since words are only names for things, it would be more
convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were necessary
to express a particular business they are to discourse on.’ And this
invention ‘would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as
‘health of the subject, if the women, in. conjunction with the vulgar and
illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be
allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their
forefathers; such constant irreconcileable enemies to science are the
common people. However, many of the most learned and wise adhere
to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which has only
this inconvenience attending it, that if a man’s business be very great,
and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a
greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two
strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of these sages
almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars among us ;
who, when they met in the street, would lay down their loads, open their
packs, and hold conversation for an hour together; then put up their
implements, help each other to resume their burdens, and take their
leave. ~

But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his
pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house,
he cannot be at aloss. Therefore the room where company meet who
practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish
“matter for this kind of artificial converse.

Another great advantage proposed by this invention, was that i
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 173

would serve as an universal language, to be understood in all civilized
nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or
nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended.
And thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes,
or ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers.

I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils
after a method scarcely imaginable to usin Europe. The proposition, and
demonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed of
a cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a fasting
stomach, and for three days following eat nothing but bread and water.
As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the
proposition along with it But the success has not hitherto been an-
swerable, partly by some error in the guantum or composition, and partly
by the perverseness of the lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous that
they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can operate ;
neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an abstinence as
the prescription requir s.














CHAPTER VI.

A FURTHER ACCOUNT OF THE ACADEMY. THE AUTHOR PROPOSES
SOME IMPROVEMENTS, WHICH ARE HONOURABLY RECEIVED.

n the school of political projectors, I was
but ill entertained; the professors appear-
ing, in my judgment, wholly out of their
“© senses; which is a scene that never fails to
make me melancholy. These unhappy
4 people were proposing schemes for per-
suading monarchs to choose favourites
upon the score of their wisdom, capacity,
and virtue; of teaching ministers to con-
; Es sult the public good; of rewarding merit,
great abilities, and eminent services; of instructing princes to know
their true interest, by placing it on the same foundation with ‘that of their
people; of choosing for employments, persons qualified to exercise
them; with many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered
before into the heart of a man to conceive ; and confirmed in me the old
observation, ‘that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which
some philosophers have not affirmed for truth.’

But, however, I shall so far do justice in this part of the academy, as
to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a
most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole
nature and system of government. This illustrious person had very
usefully employed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for all
diseases and corruptions, to which the several kinds of public administra-
tion are subject, by the vices and :nfirmities of those who govern, as well as


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 175

by the licentiousness of those who are to obey. For instance; whereas
all writers and reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal
resemblance between the natural and political body; can there by any-
thing more evident, than that the health of beth must be preserved, and
the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? It is allowed that senatcs
and great councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other
peccant humours; with many diseases of the head, and more of the
heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous contractions of the nerves
and sinews in both hands, but especially the right; with spleen, flatus,
vertigoes, and deliriums; with scrofulous tumours, full of feetid purulent
matter; with sour frothy eructations; with canine appetites, and crude-
ness of digestion, beside many others, needless to mention. This doctor
therefore proposed, “‘ that upon the meeting of the senate, certain phy-
sicians should attend at the three first days of their sitting, and at the
close of each day’s debate feel the pulses of every senator; after which,
having maturely considered and consulted upen the nature of the several
maladies, and the methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return
to the senate-house, attended by their apothecaries stored with proper
medicines; and before the members sat, administer to each of them
lenitives, aperients, abstersives, cerresives, restringents, palliatives, laxa-
tives, cephalalgics, icterics, aphphlegmatics, acoustics, as the several
cases required ; and, according as these medicines should operate, repeat,
alter, or omit them, at the next meeting.”

This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and,
might, in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of business,
in those countries where senates have any share in the legislative power ;
beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few mouths which are now
closed, and close many more which are now open; curb the petulancy of
the young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and
damp the pert.

Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of princes
are troubled with short and weak memories; the same doctor proposed,
“that whoever attended a first minister, after having told his business,
with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words, should, at his depar-
ture, give the said minister a tweak by the nose, or a kick in the belly,
or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by both ears, or run a pin into
his breech, or pinch his arm black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness ;
and at every levee day, repeat the same operation, till the business wer3
done, or absolutely refused.”

He likewise directed, “ that every senator in the great council of a
nation, after he had delivered his opinion and argued in the defence of 1%
should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary ; because if that
*

176 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

were done, the result would infallibly terminate in the good of the
public.”

When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivance
to reconcile them. The method is this: you take a hundred leaders of
each party; you dispose them into couples of such whose heads are
nearest of a size; then let two nice operators saw off the occiput of each
couple at the same time, in such a manner, that the brains may be equally
divided. Let the occipits, thus cut eff, be interchanged, applying each to
the head of his opposite party-man. It seems, indeed, to be a work that
requires some exactness, but the professor assured us, “ that if it were
dextrously performed, the cure would be infallible.’ For he argued
thus: “that the two half brains being left to debate the matter between
themselves within the space of one skull, would soon come to a good
understanding; and produce that moderation, as well as regularity of
thinking, so much to be wished for in the heads of those, who imagine
they come into the world only to watch and govern its motions: and as
to the difference of brains, in quantity or quality, among those who are
directors in faction,” the doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that
“it was a perfect trifle.”

I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the most
commodious and effectual ways and means of raising money, without
grieving the subject. The first affirmed, ‘the justest method would be,
to lay a certain tax upon vice and folly; and the sum fixed upon every
man to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a jury of his neighbours.”
The second was of an opinion directly contrary ; ‘‘ to’ tax those qualities
of body and mind, for which men chiefly value themselves; the rate to
be more or less, according to the degrees of excelling; the decision
whereof should be left entirely to their own breasts.” The highest tax
was upon men who are the greatest favourites of the other sex, and the
assessments, according to the number and nature of the favours they have
received; for which they are allowed to be their own vouchers. Wit,
valour, and politeness, were likewise proposed to be largely taxed, and
collected in the same manner, by every person’s giving his own word far
the quantum of what he possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom
and learning, they shall not be taxed at all; because they are qualifi-
cations of so singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in his”
neighbour or value them in himself,

The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and
skill in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to
be determined by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good
sense, and good-nature, were not rated, because they would not bear the
charge of collecting.
= GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 177

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that the
members shall raffle for employments;. every man first taking an oath,
and giving security, that he would vote for the court, whether he won or
not; after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of raffing upon
the next. vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be kept alive ;
none would complain of broken promises, but impute their disappoint-
ments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and strenger: than
those of a ministry.

Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for disco-
vering plots and conspiracies against the government. He advised great



statesmen to examine into the diet of all respectable persons; their
times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand they
wiped their posteriors ; take a strict view of their excrements, and from.
the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the- crudeness. or ma-
turity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs ;
because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they
are at stool, which he found by experience: for, in such conjectures,
when he used, merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of
murdering the king, his ordure would have a tincture of green: but
23
178 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC,

quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or
burning the metropolis.

- The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many
observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as I conceived,
not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author, and offered,
if he pleased, to supply him with some additions. He received my pro-
position with more compliance than is usual among writers, especially
those of the projecting species ; professing, “‘ he would be glad to receive
further information.”

I told him, ‘‘that in the kingdom Tribnia, by the natives. called
Langden, where I sojourned some time in my travels, the bulk of the
people consist in a manner wholly of discoverers, witnesses, informers,
accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers, together with their several
subservient and sabaltern instruments, all under the colours, the conduct,
and the pay of ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots, in that
kingdom, are usually the workmanship of those persons who desire to
raise their own characters of profound politicians; to restore new
vigour to a crazy administration ; to stifle or divert general discontents ;
to fill their coffers with forfeitures; and raise or sink the opinions of
public credit, as either shall best answer their private advantage. It is
first agreed and settled among them, what suspected persons should be
accused of a plot: then, effectual care is taken to secure all their letters
and papers, and put the ownersin chains. These papers are delivered to
a set of artists, very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of
words, syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool,
to signify a privy-council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog,* an ,
invader; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a prime minister; the
gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a secretary of state; a chamber-pot, a
committee of grandees; a sieve, a court lady; a broom, a revolution;
a mouse trap, an employment; a bottomless pit, a treasury; a sink, a
court; a cap and bells, a favourite ; a broken reed, a court of justice ;
an empty tun, a general; a running sore, the administration.

** When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, which,
the learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First, they can
decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus, NV shall signify
a plot; #B, a regiment of horse; JZ, a fleet at sea: or secondly, by
transposing the letters of the alphabet in any suspected paper, they can
lay open the deepest designs of a discontented party. So, for example,
if I should say in a letter to a friend, “‘ Our brother Tom has just got the
piles,” a skilful decipherer would discover, that the same letters which

* See the proceedings against Dr. Atterbury, bishop of Rochester, in the State
Trials, vol. vi.~ H,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 179

eompose that sentence, may be analyzed into the following words,
“ Resist,—a plot is brought home—The tour.” And this is the ana-
grammatic method.”

The professor made me great acknowlegments for communicating
these observations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in
his treatise.

I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer con-
tinuance, and began to think of returning home to England.




CHAPTER VII.

THE AUTHOR LEAVES LAGADO, ARRIVES AT MALDENODA. NO SHTP
READY. HE TAKES A SHORT VOYAGE TO GLUBBDUBDRIB. HiIs
RECEPTION BY THE GOVERNOR.

HE continent, of which this kingdom is a
part, extends itself, as I have reason to
believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of
America westward of California; and north,
to the Pacific Ocean, which is not above a

there is a good port, and much commerce
'\ from the great island of Luggnagg, situated
/ to the north-west about 29 degrees north la-
> titude and 140 longitude. This island of
Luggnagg stands south-eastward of Japan, abouta hundred leagues distant.
There is a strict alliance between the Japanese emperor and the king of
Luggnagg; which affords frequent opnortunities of sailing from one island
to the other. I tetermined therefore to direct my course this way, in order
tomy return to Europe. I hired two mules, with a guide to show me the
way, and carry my small baggage. I took leave of my noble protector
who had shown me so much favour, and made me a generous present at
my departure.

My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating,
When I arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there was
no ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be for


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 181

some time. The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell
into some acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A gentleman
of distinction said to me, “that since the ships bound for Luggnagg
could not be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable
amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib, about
five leagues off to the south-west. He offered himself and a friend to
accompany me, and that I should be provided with a small convenient
bark for the voyage.

Glubbdubdrib, as near as I can interpret the word, signifies the island
of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one-third as large as the Isle of
Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the head of a certain
tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries only among each other,
and the eldest in succession is prince or governor. He has a noble
palace, and a park of three thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn
stone twenty feet high. In this park are several small enclosures for
cattle, corn, and gardening.

The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of a
kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy, he has a power cf
calling whom he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service for
twenty-four hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same perscns
up again in less than three months, except upon very extraordinary
occasions.

When we arrived at this island, which was about eleven in the morn-
ing, one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the governor,
and desired admittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the
honour of attending on his highness. ‘This was immediately granted, and
we all three entered the gate of the palace between two rows of guards,
armed and dressed after a very antick manner, and something in their
countenances that made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot express.
We passed through several apartments, between servants of the same
sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of
presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few general
questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near the lowest step
of his highness’ throne. He understood the language of Balnibarbi,
although it was different from that of this island. He desired me to give
him some account of my travels; and to let me see that I should be
treated without ceremony, he dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his
finger; at which, to my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant,
like visions in a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover
myself in some time, till the governor assured ime, ‘that I should reccive
no hurt;” and observing my two compamons to be under no concern,
who had been often. entertained in the same manner, I began to take
182 A VUYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC,

courage, and related to his highness a short history of my several adven-
tures, yet not without some hesitation, and frequently looking behind me
to the place where I had seen those domestic spectres. I had the honour











to dine with the governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat,
and waited at table. I now observed myself to be less terrified than
I had been in the morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his
highness to excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the
palace. My two friends and I lay at a private house in the town ad-
joining, which is the capital of this little island; and the next morning
we returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to com-
mand us.

After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part
of every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon
grew so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third or fourth
time they gave me no emotion at all; or if I had any apprehensions left,
my curiosity prevailed over them. For his highness the governor or-
dered me ‘‘ to call up whatever persons I might choose to name, and in
whatever numbers, among all the dead from the beginning of the world
to the present time, and command them to answer any questions I should
think fit to ask; with this condition, that my question be confined within
the compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might
depend upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for lying was
a talent of no use in the lower world.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 183

I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a
favour. We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair prospect
into the park. And because my first inclination was to be entertained
with scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the
Great at the head of his army, just after the battle of Arbela: which,
upon a motion of the governor’s finger, immediately appeared in a large
field, under the window where we stood. Alexander was called up into
the room; it was with great difficulty that I understood his Greek,* and
had but little of my own. He assured me upon his honour “ that he
was not poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.” }

Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me, “he had not a
drop of vinegar in his camp.’’}

I saw Cesar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to
engage. I saw the former, in the last great triumph. I desired that the
senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, and
a modern representative in counterview, in another. The first seemed
to be an assembly of heroes, and demi-gods ; the other, a knot of pedlars,
pickpockets, highwaymen, and bullies.

The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Cesar and Brutus to
advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the
sizht of Brutus, and could easily discover the most consummate virtue,
the grea.est intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of his
country, and general benevolence of mankind, in every lineament of his
countenance. I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons
were in good intelligence with each other; and Cesar freely confessed
to me, “ that the greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by many
degrees, to the glory of taking it away.” I had the honour to have
much conversation with Brutus; and was told, “that his ancestors
Junius Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger,§ Sir Thomas More,

* A hint from Gulliver that we have lost the true Greek idiom.— Orrery.

+ Iu this passage there is a peculiar beau‘y, though it is not discovered at a hasty
view. The appearance of Alexander with a victorious army immediately after the
battle of Arbela, produces only a declaration that he died by drunkenness ; thus
inadequate and ridiculous in the eye of reason is the ultimate purpose for which
Alexander with his army marched into a remote country, subverted a mighty
euipire, and deluged a nation with blood: he gained no more than an epithet to his
name, which, after a few repetitions, was no longer regarded, even by himself.
Thus the purpose of his resurrection appears to be at least equally impo-tant
with that of his life, upon which it is a satire not more bitter than just.—-H.

} Livy, the Roman historian, has related, that Hannibal burnt a great pile of wood
upon a rock that stopped his passage, and when it wis thus heated poured vinegar
upon it, by which it was made so soft as to be easily got through.— H.

§ I am in some doubt whether Cato the censor can fairly claim a rank among so
choice a group of ghosts. — Orrery. This note of his lordship is an encomium on
the judgment of our author, who knew that Cato the cersor and Cato the younger
were very different persons, and for geod reason preferred the latter.—H.
184 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, EXC.

and himself, were perpetually together: a sextumvirate, to which all
the ages of the world cannot add a seventh.





It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast
numbers of illustrious persons were called up, to gratify that insatiable
desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity placed before
before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with beholding the destroyers of
tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to oppressed and
injured nations. But it is impossible to express the satisfaction I
received in my own mind, after such a manner, as to make it a suitable
entertainment to the reader.


CHAPTER VIII.

A FURTHER ACCOUNT OF GLUBDUBDRIB. ANCIENT AND MODERN
HISTORY CORRECTED.

AVING a desire to see those ancients
who were most renowned for wit and
learning, I set apart one day on pur-
pose. I proposed that Homer and
Aristotle might appear at the head of
all their commentators; but these
were so numerous, that some hun-
dreds were forced to attend in the
court and outward rooms of the
palace. J knew, and could distin-
guish those two heroes, at first sight,
and not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the
taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erect for one of hisage,
and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle
stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage was meagre, his
hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow.* I soon discovered that both

* This description of Aristotle is fine, and, in a few words, represents the true
nature of his works. By not having the immortal spirit of Homer, he was unable to
keep his body erect; and his staff, which feebly supported him, like his commen-
tators, made this defect more conspicuous. He wanted not some useful qualities,
but these real ornaments, like his hair, were thin and ungraceful.— Orrery. In this
the noble commentator seems to be mistaken, for it cannot be believed, that Aris-
totle’s real ornaments. however few, were ungraceful,—H.

24


186 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

of them were perfect strangers to the rest of the company, and had
never seen or heard of thera before; and I had a whisper from a ghost



who shall be nameless, “ that these commentators always kept in the
most distant quarters from their principals, in the lower world, through
a consciousness of shame and guilt, because they had so horribly mis-
represented the meaning of those authors to posterity.” I introduced
Didymus and Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them
better than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a
genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all
patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I pre-
sented them to him; and he asked them, ‘“ whether the rest of the tribe
were as great dunces as themselves ?”

I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with
whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great
philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy,
because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must
GUILLIVER'S TRAVELS. 187

do ; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurns
as palatable as he could, and the vortices of Descar tes, were equally to
be exploded. He predicted the same fate to attraction, whereof the
present learned are such zealous assertors. He said, “ that new systems
of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and
even these, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical prin-
ciples, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue
when that was determined.”

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient
learned. I saw most of the Roman emperors, I prevailed on the
governor to call up Heliogabalus’s cooks to dress us a dinner, but they
could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot of
Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get
down a second spoonful.

The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by
their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in seeing
some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure for two or
three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of Europe;
and having been always a great admirer of old illustrious families, I
desired the governor would call. up a dozen or two of kings, with their
ancestors, in order for eight or nine generations. But my disappoint-
ment was grievous and unexpected. For, instcad of a long train with
royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers,
and an Italian prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals.
I have too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer on
so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquisses, dukes, earls, and the
like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without some
pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the particular features,
by which certain families are distinguished, up to their originals. I
could plainly discover whence one family derives a long chin; why a
second has abounded with knaves for two generations, and fools for two
more; why a third happened to be crack-brained, and a fourth to
be sharpers: whence it came, what Polydore Virgil says of a certain
great house, Nec vir fortis, nec feemina casta ; how cruelty, falsehood,
and cowardice, grew to be characteristics by which certain families are
distinguished as much as by their coats of arms; who first brought the
pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended in scrofulous
tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I
saw such an interruption of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen,
gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets.

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly
examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for a
188 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by prostitute
writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war to cowards; the wisest
counsel to fools; sincerity to flatterers ; Roman virtue to betrayers of
their country; piety to atheists; chastity to sodomites; truth to
informers: how many innocent and excellent persons had been con-
demned to death or banishment, by the practising of great ministers
upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions: how many
villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust, power, dignity,
and profit: how great a share in the motions and events of courts,
councils, and senates, might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps,
parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom
and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of
great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible
accidents to which they owned their success !

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to
write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their
graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince
and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and
cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the per-
petual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes of
many great events that have surprised the world; how a whore can
govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and the council a
senate. A general confessed, in my presence, “that he got a victory
purely by the force of cowardice and ill conduct; and an admiral,
“that for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy to whom
he intended to betray the fleet.”” Three kings protested to me, “that in
their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit,
unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided :
neither would they do it if they were to live again :” and they showed,
with great strength of reason, “that the royal throne could not be
supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restive
temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public
business.”

I had the curiosity to inquire, in a particular manner, by what
methods great members had procured to themselves high titles of honour
and prodigious estates; and I confined my inguiry to a very modern
period: however, without grating upon present times, because I would
be sure to give no offence even to foreigners : for I hope the reader need
not be told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I
say upon this occasion. A great number of persons concerned were
called up; and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene
of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 189

Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like in-
firmities, were among the most excusable arts they haa to mention; and
for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some
confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy or incest;
others, to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters; others, to
the b.traying of their country or their prince; some, to poisoning ; more
to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the innocent: I hope I
may ke pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of
that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of
high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their
sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and
desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed.
Upon inquiry I was told, “that their names were to be found on no
record, except a few of them, whom history has represented as the vilest
of rogues and traitors.” As to the rest, I had never once heard of them.
‘They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habits; most
of them telling me, “they died in poverty and disgrace,” and the rest on
a scaffold or on a gibbet.

Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little
singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side.
He told me “he had for many years been commander of a ship; and in
the sea-fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the
enemy’s great line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take a
fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony’s flight, and of the victory
that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed
in the action.” He added, ‘‘ that upon the confidence of some merit,
the war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of
Angustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been
killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy
who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of
the emperor’s mistresses. Returning back to his owu vessel, he was
charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page of
Publicola, the vice-admiral ; whereupon he retired to a poor farm at a
great distance from Rome, and there ended his life.” I was so curious
to know the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be called,
who was admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole
account; but with much more advantage to the captain, whose mode ty
had extenuated or concealed a great part of his merit.

I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that
empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced ; which made me less
wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all kinds
190 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as well as
pillage, has been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps had
the least title to honour.

As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had
done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe, how
much the race of human kind was degenerated among us, within these
hundred years past; how the pox, under all its consequences and de-
nominations, had altered every lineament of an English countenance ;
shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and
muscles, introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered the flesh loose
and rancid.

I descended so low, as to desire some English yeomen of an old stamp
might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the simplicity of
their manners, diet and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their
true spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love of their country. Nei-
ther could I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the living with the
dead, when I considered how all these pure native virtues were pros-
tituted for a piece of money by their grandchildren: who, in selling
their votes and managing at elections, have acquired every -vice and core
ruption that can possibly be learned in a court.




CHAPTER IX.

THE AUTHOR RETURNS TO MALDONADA. SAILS TO THE KINGDOM
OF LUGGNAGG. THE AUTHOR CONFINED. HE IS SENT FOR TO
COURT. THE MANNER OF HIS ADMITTANCE, THE KING'S GREAT
LENITY TO HIS SUBJECTS.



took leave of his highness, the governor

‘of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my
4, two companions to Maldonada, where
after a fortnight’s waiting, a ship was
M| ready to sail for Luggnage. The two
gentlemen, and some others, were so ge-
nerous and kind as to furnish me with
e provisions, and see me on board. I was
a month on this voyage. We had one
violent storm, and were under a necessity of steering westward to
get into the tradewind, which holds for about sixty leagues. On the 21st
of April, 1708, we sailed into the river of Clumegnig, which is a sea-
port town, at the south-east point of Luggnagg. We cast anchor within
a league of the town, and made a signal for a pilot. Two of them came
on board in less than half an hour, by whom we were guided between
certain shoals and rocks, which are very dangerous in the passage, to
a large bason, where a fleet may ride in safety within a cable’s length of
the town wall.
192 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had
informed the pilots “that I was a stranger, and a great traveller ;”
whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I was
examineé. very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to me in the
language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much commerce, is
generally understood in that town, especially by seamen and those
employed in the customs. I gave him a short account of some par-
ticulars, and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could; but
I thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a Hol-
lander: because my intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch
were the only Europeans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I
therefore told the officer, ‘‘ that having been shipwrecked on the coast of
Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or the
flying island (of which he had often heard), and was now endeavouring
to get to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of returning to my
own country.” The officer said, “I must be confined till he could
receive orders from court, for which he would write immediately, and
hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight.” I was carried to a con-
venient lodg‘ng, with a sentry placed at the door; however I had the
liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity enough,
being maintained all the time at the king’s charge. I was visited by
several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was reported that
T came from countries very remote, of which they had never heard.

I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an interpreter;
he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at Maldonada,
and was a perfect master of both languages. By his assistance, I was
able to hold a conversation with those who came to visit me; but this
consisted only of their questions, and my answers.

The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It con-
tained a warrant for conducting me and my retinue to Traldragdubh, or
Trildrogdrib (for it is pronounced both ways as near as I can remember),
ly a party of ten horse. All my retinue was that poor lad for an
interpreter, whom I persuaded into my service, and, at my humble
request, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was
despatched half a day’s journey before us, to give the king notice of my
approach; and to desire, “that his majesty would please to appoint a
day and hour, when it would be his gracious pleasure that I might have
the honour to lick the dust before his footstool.” This is the court
style, and I found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my
admittance two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon
my belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but, on account of my being
a stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the dust was
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 143

‘not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any
but persons of the highest rank, when they desire an admittance. Nay
sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to



be admitted happens to have powerful enemies at court ; and I have seen
a great lord with his mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the
proper distance from the throne, he was not able to speak a word.
Neither -is there any remedy; because it is capital for those, who re-
ceive an audience, to spit or wipe their mouth im:his majesty’s presence.
There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether approve of:
when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to death in a gentle
indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be strewed with a certain
brown powder of a deadly composition, which, being licked up, infallibly
kills him in twenty-four hours. But in justice to this prince’s great
clemency, and the care he has of his subjects’ lives (wherein it were much
to be wished that the monarchs of Europe would imitate him), it must be
mentioned for his honour, that strict orders are given to have the infected
parts of the floor well washed after every such execution, which, if his
domestics neglect, they are in danger of incurring his royal displeasure.
I myself heard him give directions, that one of his pages should be.
whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about washing the floor after
an execution, but maliciously had omitted it; by which neglect, a young
lord of great hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned,
although the king at that time had no design against his life. But this
good prince was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping,
‘upon promise that he would do so no more, without special orders.
25
194 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

To return from this digression, when I had crept to within four yards of
the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then striking my
forehead seven times against the ground, I pronounced the following
words, as they had been taught me the night before, Inckpling gloffthrobb
squw tserumm blhiop mlashnalt zwin tnodbalkuff hsthiophad kurdlubhasht.
This is the compliment, established by the laws of the land, for all persons
admitted to the king’s presence. It may be rendered into English thus:
“‘ May your celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!”
To this the king returned some answer, which, although I could not
understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: Flute drin yalerich
dwuldom priasrad mirpush, which properly signifies, “‘ My tongue is in the
mouth of my friend;’’ and by this expression was meant that I desired
leave to bring my interpreter: whereupon the young man already men-
tioned, was accordingly introduced; by whose intervention I answered
as many questions as his majesty could put in about an hour. I spoke
in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter delivered my meaning in
that of Luggnagg. The king was much delighted with my company,
and ordered his bufmarklub or high chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in
the court for me and my interpreter: with a daily allowance for my
table, and a large piece of gold for my common expenses.

I stayed three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his
majesty ; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very ho-
nourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence and
justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and family.






CHAPTER X.

TILE LUGGNAGGIANS COMMENDED. A PARTICULAR DESCRIPTION OF
THE STRULDBRUGS, WITH MANY CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN
THE AUTHOR AND SOME EMINENT PERSONS UPON THAT SUBJECT.

% HE Luggnaggians are a polite and gen-
erous people; and although they are not
4 without some share of that pride which is
, peculiar to all Eastern countries, yet they
VA show themselves courteous to strangers,
" especially such as are countenanced by
the court. JI had many acquaintances,
and among persons of the best fashion ;
: and being always attended by my inter-

zi preter, the conversation we had was not





disagreeable.

One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality,
“whether I had seen any of their strwddbrugs, or immortals?” I said,
“IT had not;’ and desired he would explain to me what he meant by
such an appellation, applied to a mortal creature. He told me, “ that
sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be born in a family,
with a red circular spot on the forehead, directly over the left eye-brow,
which was an infallible mark that it should never die. The spot,” as he
described it, ‘“ was about the compass of a silver threepence, but in the
course of time grew larger, and changed its colour: for at twelve years
old it became green, so continued till five-and-twenty, then turned to a
deep blue; at five-and-forty it grew coal black, and as large as an
196 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

English shilling but never admitted any further alteration.” He said,
‘* these births were so rare, that he did not believe there could be above
eleven hundred struddbrugs, of both sexes, in the whole kingdom; of
which he computed about fifty in the metropolis, and among the rest a
young girl born about three years ago: that these productions were not
peculiar to any family, but a mere effect of chance; and the children
of the struldbrugs themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the
people.”

I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight,
upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me happening to
understand the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could
not forbear breaking out into expressions, perhaps a little too extrava-
gant. I cried out, as in a rapture, ‘‘ Happy nation, where every child has
at least a chance of being immortal! Happy people, who enjoy so many















































































living examples of ancient virtue, and have masters ready to instruct
them in the wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond all com-
parison, are those excellent struldbrugs, who, being born exempt from
that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds free and disen-
gaged, without the weight and depression of spirits caused by the con-
tinual apprehension of death.” I discovered my admiration, “that I
bad not observed any of these illustrious persons at court ; the black spot
on the forehead being so remarkable a distinction, that I could not have
easily overlooked it: and it was impossible that his majesty, a most
judicious prince, should not provide himself with a good number of such
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 197

wise anu able counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend
sages was too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court:
and we often find, by experience, that young men are too opinionated
and volatile, to be guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. How-
ever, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his royal person,
I was resolved, upon the very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him
om this matter freely and at large, by the help of my interpreter; and
vhether he would please to take my advice or not, yet in one thing I
was determined, that his majesty, having frequently offered me an esta-
plishment in this country, I would, with great thankfulness, accept the
favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superior beings
the ‘struidbrugs, if they would please to admit me.

The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have
already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me, with
a sort of a smile, which usually arises from them to the ignorant, *‘ that
he was glad of any occasion to keep me among them, and desired my
permission to explain to the company what I had said.” He did so, and
they talked together for a long time in their own language, whereof I
understood not a syllable, neither could I observe by their countenances,
what impression my discourse had made on them. After a short silence
the same person told me, “that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to
express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious remarks I
had made on the great happiness and advantages of immortal life, and
they were desirous to know, in a particular manner, what scheme of
living I should have formed to myself, if it had fallen to my lot to have
been born a struldbrug.”

I answered, “it was easy to be cloquent on so copious and delightful
a subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to amuse myself with
visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a general, or a great lord:
and upon this very case, I had frequently run over the whole system
_ how I should employ myself, and pass the time, if I were sure to live for
ever.

“Tf it had been my good fortune to come into the world a struldbrug,
as soon as I could discover my own happiness, by understanding the
difference between life and death, I would first resolve, by all arts and
methods whatsoever, to procure myself riches; in pursuit of which, by
thriit and management, I might reasonably expect, in about two hundred
years, to be the wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place,
I would, from my earliest youth, apply myself to the study of arts and
sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in learning.
Lastly, I would carefully record every action, and event of consequence,
that happened in the public, impartially draw the characters of the several
198 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

successions of princes and great ininisters’ of state, with my own obser-
vations on every point. I would exactly set down the several changes in
customs, language, fashions of dress, diet, and diversions, by all which
acquirements. I should be a great treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and
certainly become the oracle of the nation.

“J would never marry after threescore, but live in an hospitable
manner, yet stillon the saving scale. I would entertain myself in forming
and directing the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing them, from
my own remembrance, experience, and observation, fortified by numerous
sxamples, of the usefulness of virtue in public and private life. But my
thoice and constant companions should be a set of my own immortal
orotherhood; among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient,
down to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes,
I would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate, and
have some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of the most
valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would harden me to
lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same
manner; just as a man diverts himself with the annual succession of
pinks and tulips in his garden, without regretting the loss of those which
withered the preceding year.

“These struldbrugs and I would mutually communicate our obser-
vations and memorials, through the course of time; remark the several
gradations by which corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in
every step, by giving perpetual warning and instruction to mankind:
which, added to the strong influence of our own example, would pro-
bably prevent that continual degeneracy of human nature, so justly
complained of in all ages.

“ Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of states
and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world; ancient cities
in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous rivers
lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, and
overwhelming another; the discovery of many countries yet unknown ;
barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most barbarous
become civilized. I should then see the discovery of the longitude, the
perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and many other great in-
ventions, brought to the utmost perfection.

“What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by
outliving and confirming our own predictions; by observing the progress
and returns of comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and
stars !’’

I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of endless
life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me with. When I
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS, 199

nad ended, and the sum of my discourse had been interpreted, as before,
to the rest of the company, there was a good deal of talk among them in
the language of the country, not without some laughter at my expense.
At last, the same gentlemen who had been my interpreter, said, ‘“‘ He
was desired by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes, which I had
fallen into through the common imbecility of human nature, and upon
that allowance was less answerable for them. ‘That this breed of
struldburgs was peculiar to their country, for there were no such people
either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour to be ambas-
sador from his majesty, and found the natives in both these kingdoms
very -hard to believe that the fact was possible: and it appeared from my
astonishment when he first mentioned the matter to me, that I received
it as a thing wholly new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two
kingdoms above-mentioned, where during his residence he had conversed
very much, he observed long life to be the universal desire and wish of
mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold back
the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest had still hopes of
living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest evil, from
which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only in this island a
Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager, from the continus
example of the struldbrugs before their eyes.

“That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable an.
unjust ; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigour,
which no man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagrant he may
be in his wishes.* That the question therefore was not, whether a man
would choose to be always in the prime of youth, attended with pros-
perity and health; but how he would pass a perpetual life, under all the
usual disadvantages which old age brings along with it; for although
few men will avow their desires of being immortal, upon such hard
conditions, yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and
Japan, he observed that every man desired to put off death some time
longer, let it approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man who
died willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or
torture. And he appealed to me, whether in those countries I had
travelled, as well as my own, I had not observed the same -general
disposition.”

* To this it may possibly be objected, that the perpetuity of youth, health, and
vigour, would be less a prodigy than the perpetuity of life in a body subject to
gradual decay, and might therefore be hoped without greater extravagance of folly;
but the sentiment here expressed is that of a being to whom immortality, though
rot perpetual youth, was familiar, and in whom the wish of a perpetual youth only
would have been extravagant, because that only appeared from facts to be impos-

sible.—H.
+ If it be said, that although the folly of desiring life to be prolonged under the
200 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.

After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the struddbrugs
among them. He said, “they commonly acted like mortals till about
thirty years old; after which, by degrees, they grew melancholy and
dejected, increasing in both till they came to fourscore. This he learned
from their own confession; for otherwise, there not being above two or
three of that species born in an age, they were too few to form a general
observation by. When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned
the extremity of living in this country, they had not only all the follies
and infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose from the
dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only opinionated, peevish,
covetous, morose, vain, talkative; but. incapable of friendship, and dead
to all natural affection, which never descended below their grandchildren.
Envy and impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those
objects against which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices
of the younger sort, and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the
former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleasure ;
and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine that others
are gone to a harbour of rest, to which they themselves never can
hope to arrive. They have no remembrance of anything but what they
learned and observed in their youth and middle-age, and even that: is very
imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact, it is safer to
depend on common tradition, than upon their best recollections. The
least miserable among them appear to be those who turn to dotage,
and entirely lose their memories; these meet with more pity and
assistance because they want many bad qualities which abound in
others.

“If a struldbrug happen to marry one of his own kind, the marriage is
dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom, as soon as the
younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law thinks it a
reasonable indulgence, that those who are condemned, without any
fault of their own, to a perpetual continuance in the world, should
not have their miseries doubled by the load of a wife.

‘As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are
looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their

disadvantages of old age, is here finely exposed; yet the desire of terrestrial im-
mortality, upon terms on which alone in the rature of things it is possible, an ex-
emption from disease, accident, and decay, is tacitly wllowed: it may be answered,
that as we grow old by imperceptible degrees, so for the most part we grow old
without repining ; and every man is ready to profess himself willing to die, when he
shall be overtaken by the decrepitude of age in some future period: yet when
every other eye sees that this period is arrived, he is still tenacious of life, and
murmurs at the condition upon which he received his existence. To reconcile old
age therefore to the thoughts of a dissolution, appears to be all that was necessary in a
moral writer for practical purposes.—H.
GULLIVER 'S TRAVELS, 204

estates ; only a small pittance is reserved for their support; and the poor
ones are maintained at the public charge. After that period, they are
held incapable of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot purchase
lands, or take leases: neither are they allowed to be witnesses in any
cause, either civil or criminal, not even for the decision of meers and
bounds.

“ At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no
distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without
relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still continue,
without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they forget the common
appellation of things, and the names of persons, even of those who are
their nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never can
amuse themselves with reading, because their memory will not serve to
carry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this
defect, they are deprived of the only entertainment, whereof they might
otherwise be capable.

“The language of this country being always upon the flux, the
struldbrugs of one age do not understand those of another; neither are
they able after two hundred years to hold any conversation (further than,
by afew general words) with their neighbours the mortals; and thus
they lic under the disadvantage of living like foreigners in their own

country.”





































This was the account given me of the struldbrugs, as near as I can
remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the youngest
ofr
26
202 A VOYAGE TO LAFUTA, Ere.

not above two hundred years old, who were brought to me at several
times by some of my friends; but although they were told, ‘‘ that I was
a great traveller, and had seen all the world,” they had not the least
curiosity to ask me a question; only desired, “I would give them
slumskudash, or a token of remembrance;” which is a modest way of
begging, to avoid the law, that strictly forbids it, because they are pro-
vided for by the public, although indeed with a very scanty allowance.

They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of
them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded very
particularly: so that you may know their age by consulting the register,
which, however, has not been kept above a thousand years past, or at
least has been destroyed by time or public disturbances. But the usual
way of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or
great persons they can remember, and then consulting history; for in-
fallibly the last prince in their mind did not begin his reign after they
were fourscore years old.

They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women
were more horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities in
extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in proportion to
their number of years, which is not to be described; and among half-a-
dozen, I soon distinguished which was the eldest, although there was not
above a century or two between them.

The reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen.
my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew heartily
ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and thought, no tyrant
could invent a death, into which I would not run with pleasure, from such
alife. ‘The king heard of all that had passed between me and my friends
upon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly ; wishing I could send
a couple of struldbrugs to my own couutry to arm our people against the
fear of death ;* but this, it seems, is forbidden by the fundamental laws
of the kingdom, or else I should have been well content with the trouble
and expense of transporting them.

I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the
struldbrugs were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as any
other country would be under the necessity of enacting, in the like
circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequent of
old age, those immortals would in time become proprietors of the whole
nation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abilities to man-
age, mus: end in the ruin of the public.

* Perhaps it may not be wholly useless to remark, that the sight of a struldbrug
would no otherwise arm those against the fear of death, who have no hope beyond
it, than a man is armed against the fear of breaking his limbs,.who jumps out of @
window when his house is on fire.—H.


CHAPTER XI.

TNE AUTHOR LEAVES LUGGNAGG, AND SAILS TO JAPAN. FROM
HENCE HE RETURNS IN A DUTCH SHIP TO AMSTERDAM, AND
FIOM AMSTERDAM TO ENGLAND.

muiovenr this account of the struldbrugs
¢ might be some entertainment to the reader,
because it seems to be a little out of the
common way; at least I do not remember
to have met the like in any book of travels
» that has come to my hands: and if I am
\ deceived, my excuse must be, that it is
necessary for travellers who describe the
> same country, very often to agree in dwel-

“? ling on the same particulars, without de-
serving the censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who



wrote before them.

There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and
the great empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the Japancse
authors may have given some account of the struldbrugs ; but my
stay in Japan was so short, and I was so entirely a stranger to the lan-
guage, that I was not qualified to make any inquiries. But I hope the
Dutch, upon this notice, will be curious and able cnough to supply my
defects.
294 A VOYAGE TO TLAPUTA, ETC.

His majesty, having often pressed me to accept some employment
in his court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my
native country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and ho-
noured me with a letter of recommendation, under his own hand, to the
emperor of Japan. He likewise presented me with four hundred
and forty-four large pieces of gold (this nation delighted in even
numbers), and a red diamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred
pounds.

On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and
all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to con-
duct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west part of
the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and
spent fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at asmall port-town called*
Xamoschi, situated on the south-east part of Japan ; the town lies on the
western point, where there is a narrow strait leading northward into a
long arm of the sea, upon the north-west part of which, Yedo the metro-
polis stands. At landing I showed the custom-house officer my letter from
the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew the seal
perfectly well; it was as broad as the palmof my hand. The impression
was, ‘‘ A king lifting up a lame beggar from the earth.” The magistrates
of the town, hearing of my letter, received me as a public minister; they
provided me with carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo,
where I was admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was
opened with great ceremony, and explained to the emperor by an inter-
preter; who then gave me notice, by his majesty’s order, “that I should
signify my request, and, whatever it were, it should be granted, for the
sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg.” This interpreter was a person
employed to transact affairs with the Hollanders: he soon conjectured,
by my countenance, that I was a European, and therefore repeated h's
majesty’s commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I
answered, as I had before determined, “ that I was a Dutch merchant,
ship-wrecked in a very remote country, whence I had travelled by sea
and land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew
my countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an
opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly entreated
his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted in safety to
Nangasac.”” To this I added another petition, “ that for the sake of my
patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would condescend to excuse
my performing the ceremony imposed on my countrymen, of trampling
upon the crucifix; because I had been thrown into this kingdom by my
misfortunes, without any intention of trading.” When this latter petition
was interpreted to the emperor, he seemed a little surprised, and said,
QULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 205

“he believed I was the first of my countrymen who even made any
scruple in this point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real
Hollander, or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. How-
ever, for the reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of
Luggnageg by an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply with
the singularity of my humour; but the affair must be managed with
dexterity, and his officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it
were by forgetfulness; for he assured me, that if the secret should be
discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my throat in
the voyage.” JI returned my thanks, by the interpreter, for so unusual a
favour ; and some troops being at that time on the march to Nangasac,
the commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with
particular instructions about the business of the crucifix.

On the 9th of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long and
troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of some Dutch
sailors belonging to the Amboyna of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450 tons.
I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies in Leyden, and I spoke
Dutch well. The seamen soon knew whence I came last; they were
curious to inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made up a
story as short and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest part.
I knew many persons in Holland; I was able to invent names for my
parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in the province of
Guelderland. I would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult)
what he pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I
was a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on condition
that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before we took ship-
ping, I was often asked by some of the crew, “ whether I had performed
the ceremony above mentioned?” I evaded the question by general
answers; ‘that I had satisfied the emperor and court in all particulars.”
However, a malicious rogue of a skipper went to an officer, and pointing
+o me, told him, ‘I had not yet trampled on the crucifix ;” but the other,
who had received instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty
strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo; after which I was no more
troubled with such questions.

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with
a fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to take in
fresh water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam,
having lost only three men by sickness in the voyage, anda fourth, who
fell from the foremast into the sea, not far from the coast of Guinea.
From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel be-
longing to that city.

On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next
206 A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,; ETC.

morning, and saw once more my native country, after an absence of five
years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I ar-
rived the same day, at two in the afternoon, and found my wife and
family in good health.


APPENDIX TO LAPUTA

Ballad

ON THE SOUTH-SEA SCHEME.

BY DEAN SWIFT.



Written to expose the mania for speculation and stock-jobbing so prevalent in 1720. It
explains some of the schemes satirized in the description of the academy of Lagado.

——_—_—

Yx wise philosophers, explain,
What magic makes our money rise,
When dropp’d into the Southern main ;
Or do these jugglers cheat our eyes?

Put in your money, fairly told,
Presto ! begone !—’tis here again :

Ladies and gentlemen, behold,—
Here's every piece as big as ten!

Thus, in a basin drop a shilling,
Then fill the vessel to the brim,
You shall observe, as you are filling,
The ponderous metal seems to swim.

It rises both in bulk and height,
Behold it swelling like a sop ;

The liquid medicine cheats your sight,—
Bekold it mounted to the top.

“In stock three hundred thousand pound,
I have in view a lord’s estate ;

My manors all contiguous round,
A coach and six, and served in plate!”

Thus the deluded bankrupt raves,
Puts all upon a desperate bet,

Then plunges in the Southern waves,
Dipped over head and ears—in debt.
208

APPENDIX TO LAPUTA.
So, by a calenture misled,
The mariner with rapture sees
On the smooth ocean’s azure bed,
Enamelled fields and verdant trees.

With eager haste he longs to rove
In that fantastic scene, and thinks
It must be some enchanted grove,
And iz he leaps, and down he sinks,

Five hundred chariots, just bespoke,
Are sunk in these devouring waves,—

The horses drown’d, the harness broke,
And here the owners find their graves.

Like Pharaoh, by directors led;

They with their spoils went safe before |
His chariots tumbling out the dead,

Lay shatter’d on the Red-Sea shore.

Raised up on Hope’s aspiring plumes,
The young adventurer o’er the deep,

An eagle’s flight and state assumes,
And scorns the middle-way to keep.

On paper wings he takes his flight,
With was the father bound them fast ;
The wax is melted by the height,
And down the towering boy is cast.

A moralist might here explain

The rashness of the Cretan youth,—
Describe his fall into the main,

And from a fable form a truth.

His wings are his paternal rent,

He melts the waz as every flame ;
His credit sunk, his money spent,

In Southern Seas he leaves his name.

Inform us, you that best can tell,
Why in yon dangerous gulf profound,
Where hundreds and where thousands fell,
Fools chiefly float, the wise are drown’d >

So have I seen, from Severn’s brink,
A flock of geese jump down together,
Swim where the bird of Jove would sink,
And swimming, never wet a feather.
27

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 209

But I affirm ’t is false, in fact,
Directors better know their tools ;
We see the nation’s credit crackt,
Each knave has made a thousand fools.

One fool may from another win,

And then get off with money stored,
But if a sharper once comes in,

He throws at all, and sweeps the board.

As fishes on each other prey,

The great ones swallowing up the small ;
So fare it in the Southern Sea,

The whale directors eat up all.

When séock is high, they come between,
Making by second-hand their offers,
Then cunningly retire unseen,
With each a million in his coffers.

So when upon a moonshine night,
An ass was drinking at astream,
A cloud arose and stopped the light,

By intercepting every beam.

“The day of judgment will be soon,”
Cries out a sage among the crowd,

Anass has swallowed up the moon—
The moon lay safe behind a cloud.

Each poor subscriber to the sea,

Sinks down at once, and there he lies;
Directors fall as well as they,

Their fall is but a trick to rise.

So fishes, rising from the main,

Can soar with moistened wings on high ;
The moisture dried, they sink again,

And dip their fins again to fly.

Undone at play, the female troops
Come here their losses to retrieve ;
Ride o’er the waves in spacious hoops,

Like Lapland witches in a sieve.

Thus Venus to the sea descends,

As poets feign; but where’s the moral?
It shows the queen of love intends

To search the sea for pearl and coral.
210°

APPENDIX TO LAPUTA.

The sea is richer than the land,

I heard it from my grannam’s mouth;
Which now I clearly understand,

For by the sea she meant the south.

Thus, by directors we are told,
“Pray, gentlemen, believe your eyes ;
Our ocean’s covered o’er with gold,
Look round and see how thick it lies ;

‘“‘ We, gentlemen, are your assisters,
‘We'll come and hold you by the chin :’
Alas ! all is not gold that glisters,
Then thousands sink by leaping in.

Oh! would those patriots be so kind,
Here in the deep to wash their hands,

Then like Pactolus, we should find,
The sea indeed had golden sands,

A shilling in the bath you fling;
The silver takes a nobler hue,

By magic virtue in the spring,
And seems a guinea to your view.

But as a guinea will not pass
At market for a farthing more,
Shown through a multiplying glass,
Than what it always did before ;

So cast it in the Southern seas,
Or view it through a jobber’s bill ;—
Put on what spectacles you please,
Your guinea’s but a guinea still.

One night a fool into a brook,
Thus from a hillock looking down,
The golden stars for guineas took,
And silver Cynthia for a crown.

The point he could no longer doubt :
He ran, he leaped into the flood ;

There sprawl’d awhile, and scarce got out,
All cover’d o’er with slime and mud.

“Upon the water cast thy bread,

And after many days thou’lt find it ;”
But gold upon this ocean spread,

Shall sink, and leave no mark behind it,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. git

There is a gulf, where thousands fell,
Here all the bold adventurers came,
A narrow sound, though deep as hell ;—
Change-Alley is the dreadful name.

Nine times a-day it ebbs and flows,
Yet he that on the surface lies,
Without a pilot seldom knows,
The time it falls or when ’twill rise.

Subscribers here oy thousands float,
And jostle one another down ;
Each paddling in his leaky boat,
And there they fish for gold, and drown.

Now buried in the depths below,

Now mounted up to heaven again,
They reel and stagger to and fro,

At their wits end, like drunken men.

Mean time, secure on Garraway cliffs,
A savage race, by shipwrecks fed,

Lie waiting for the founder’d skiffs,
And strip the bodies of the dead.

But these, you say, are factious lies,
From some malicious tory’s brain ;
For where directors get a prize,
The Swiss and Dutch whole millions drain.

Thus, when by rocks a lord is plied,
Some cully often wins a bet,

By venturing on the cheating side,
Though not into the secret let.

While some build castles in the air,
Directors build them in the seas ;

Subscribers plainly see them there,—
For fools will see as wise men please.

Thus oft by mariners are shown—
Unless the men of Kent are liars—

Earl Godwin’s castles overthrown,
And palace roofs and steeple spires.

Mark where the sly directors creep,
Nor to the shore approach too nigh!
The monsters nestle in the deep,
To seize you in your passing by.
212

APPENDIX TO LAPUTA.

Then, like the dogs of Nile, be wise,
Who taught by instinct how to shun
The crocodile, that lurking lies,
Run as they drink, and drinking run.

Antzeus could, by magic charms,
Recover strength whene’er he fell;
Alcides held him in his arms,
And sent him up in air to hell.

Directors thrown into the sea,
Recover strength and vigour there ;

But may be tamed anothers way,
Suspended for awhile in air /

Directors ! for ’tis youI warn,
By long experience we have found
What planet ruled when you were born ;
‘We see you never can be drown’d.

Beware, nor over bulky grown,

Nor come within your cully’s reach ;
For if the sea should sink so low,

To leave you dry upon the beach,

You'll owe your ruin to your bulk;
Your foes already waiting stand,

To tear you like a founder's hulk,
While you lie helpless on the strand.

Thus, when a whale has lost the tide,
The coasters crowd to seize the spoil ;
The monster into parts divide,
And strip the bones, and melt the oil.

O! may some western tempest sweep
These Jocusés whom our fruits have fed,

That plague, directors, to the deep,
Driven from the South Sea to the Red!

May He, whom Nature’s laws obey,
Who iifts the poor and sinks the proud,
“ Quiet the raging of the sea,
And still the madness of the crowd!”

But never shall our isles have rest,

Till those devouring swe run down,—
The devils leaving the possest,—

And headlong in the wafers drown,

The nation then, too late, will find,
Computing all their cost and trouble,

Directors’ promises but wind,
South-Sea at best a mighty bubble.
bo
co

A. SOUTH-SEA BALLAD:
oR,
MERRY REMARKS UPON EXCHANGE-ALLEY BUBBLES

TO A NEW TUNE, CALLED “THE GRAND ELIXIR; OR, THE PHILOSOPHERS SsToNE
DISCOVERED.”

I.

In London stands a famous pile,
And near that pile an Alley,

Where many crowds for riches toil,
And wisdom stoops to folly.

Here sad and joyful, high and low,
Court Fortune for her graces,

And as she smiles or frowns, they show
Their gestures and grimaces.

II.

Here stars and garters do appear,
Among our lords the rabble ;

To buy and sell, to see and hear
The Jews and Gentiles squabble.

Here crafty courtiers are too wise
For those who trust to Fortune ;

They see the cheat with clearer eyes,
Who peep behind the curtain.

IIt.

Our greatest ladies hither come,
And ply in chariots daily ;
Oft pawn their jewels for a sum
To venture in the Alley.
Young harlots, too, from Drury-lane,
Approach the ’Change in coaches,
To fool away the gold they gain
By their obscene debauches.

IV.

Long heads may thrive by sober rules,
Because they think, and drink not,

But head-longs are our thriving fools,
Who only drink and think not.
214

APPENDIX TO LAPUTA.

The lucky rogues, like spaniel dogs,
Leap into South-Sea water,

And there they fish for golden frogs,
Not caring what comes arter.

Wo

Tis said that alchemists of old
Could turn a brazen kettle,
Or leadern cistern, into gold,
That noble, tempting metal ;—
But if it here may be allowed
To bring in great and small things,
Our cunning South-Sea, like a god,
Turns nothing into all things.

VI.

‘What need have we of Indian wealth,
Or commerce with our neighbours ?
Our constitution is in health,
And riches crown our labours.
Our South-Sea ships have golden shrouds,—
They bring us wealth, ’tis granted ;
But lodge their treasure in the clouds,
To hide it, till ’tis wanted.

Vil.

O Britain! bless thy present state,
Thou only happy nation,
So oddly rich, so madly great,
Since bubbles came in fashion.
Successful rakes exert their pride,
And count their airy millions,
While homely drabs in coaches ride,
Brought up to town on pillions.

VIII.

Few men who follow reason’s rules,
Grow fat with South-Sea diet ;

Young rattles and unthinking fools
Are those who flourish by it :

Old musty jades, and pushing blades,
Who've least consideration,

Grow rich apace; while wiser heads
Are struck with admiration.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 215

IX.

A race of men who, t’other day,
Lay crush’d beneath disasters,

Are now by stock brought into play
And made our lords and masters.
But should our South-Sea Babel fall,

What numbers would be frowning !
The losers then must ease their gall
By hanging or by drowning.

Xx.

Five hundred millions, notes and bonds,
Our stocks are worth in value ;

But neither lie in goods, or lands,
Or money, let me tell you.

Yet though our foreign trade is lost,
Of mighty wealth we vapour ;

When all the riches that we boast
Consists in scraps of paper.
























































216 APPENDIX TO LAPUTA.

The following is a sa‘ire directed against the Report of the Secret Committee in Atten-
bury’s case, referred to several times in the preceeding pages, in the description of the
Academy of Lagado.



UPON THE HORRID PLOT

DISCOVERED BY HARLEQUIN, THE BISHOP OF ROCHESTER’S FRENCH DOG.

In a dialogue between a Whig and Tory.



I ask’d a whig the other night,

How came the wicked plot to light?

He answer’d that a dog, of late,

Inform’d a minister of state.

Said I, from that I nothing know,

For are not all informers so?

A villain who his friend betrays,

We style him by no other phrase ;

And so a perjured dog denotes

Porter, and Prendergast, and Oates,

And forty others I could name.
Wurie.—But sir, they say the dog was lame?
Tory.—A weighty argument indeed :

Your evidence was dame ;—proceed,

Come, help your lame dog o'er the stile.

Wuic.—Sir, you mistake me all the while,

I mean a dog without a joke,

Can howl, and bark, but never spoke.
Tory.—I’m still to seek which dog you mean,

Whether cur Plunkett, or whelp Skean,

An English or an Irish hound,

Or t’other puppy that was drown’d;

Or Mason, that abandon’d bitch;

Then pray be free, and tell me which:

For every stander-by was marking,

That all the noise they made was barking.

You pay them well: the dogs have got

Their dogs’ heads in a porridge pot:

And ’twas but just, for wise men say,

That every dog must have his day.

Dog Walpole laid a quart of nog on’t,

He’d either make a hog or dog on’t,

And look since he has got his wish,

As if he had thrown down a dish ;

Yet thus I dare foretell you from it,

He'll soon return to his own vomit.

Wuic.—Besides this horrid plot was found

By Neynoe after he was drown’d.

Tory.—Why, then the proverb is not right,
Since you can teach dead dogs to bite.
28

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 237

Wuic.—I proved my proposition full,
But Jacobites are strangely dull,
Now let me tell you plainly, sir,
Our witness is a real cur;
A dog of spirit for his years,—
Has twice two legs, two hanging ears ;
His name is Harlequin I wot,
And that’s a name in every plot;
Resolved to save the British nation,
Though French by birth and education ;
His correspondence, plainly dated,
Was all decipher’d and translated ;
His answers were exceeding pretty,
Before the secret wise Committee ;
Confess’d as plain as he could bark,
Then with his fore-foot set his mark.
Tory.—Thenall this while I have been bubbl.d
I thought it was a dog in doublet ;
The matter now no longer sticks,
For statesmen never want dog-tricks ;
But since it was a real cur,
And not a dog in metaphor,
I give you joy of the report
That he’s to have a place at court.
Wuic.—Yes, and a place he will get rich in,
A turnspit in the royal kitchen.
Sir to be plain, I tell you what,
We had occasion for the plot:
And when we found the dog begin it,
We guess’d the bishop’s foot was in it.
Tory.—I own it was a dangerous project,
But you have proved it by dog-logie.
Sure such intelligence between
A dog and bishop ne’er were seen ;
Till you began to change the breed,
Your Bishops all are dogs indeed.




A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE
HOUYHNHNMS.





CHAPTER I.

THE AUTHOR SETS OUT AS CAPTAIN OF A SHIP. HIS MEN Con.
SPIRE AGAINST HIM, CONFINE HIM A LONG TIME TO HIS CABIN,
AND SET HIM ON SHORE IN AN UNKNOWN LAND. HE TRAVELS
UP INTO THE COUNTRY. THE YAHOOS, A STRANGE SORT OF
ANIMAL, DESCRIBED. THE AUTHOR MEETS TWO HOUYHNHNMS.

q CONTINUED at home with my wife and
| children about five months, in a very
happy condition, if I could have
| learned the lesson of knowing when I
| was well. Ileft my poor wife big with
child, and accepted an advantageous offer

Vs made me to be captain of the Adventure,
ics” y "S| a stout merchantman of 350 tons: for I
uy e ] | understood navigation well, and being
‘ grown weary of a surgeon’s employment
at sea, which, however, I could exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful
young man of that calling, one Rober Purefoy, into my ship. We set


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 219

sail from Portsmouth, upon the seventh day of September, 1710; on the
14th we met with captain Pocock, of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going
to the bay of Campechy to cut logwood. On the 16th, he was parted
from us by a storm; I heard since my return, that his ship foundered,
and none escaped but one cabin boy. He was an honest man, and a
good sailor, but a little too positive in his own opinions, which was the
cause of his destruction, as it has been of several others; for if he had
followed my advice, he might have been safe at home with his family at
this time as well as myself.

I had several men die in my ship of calentures, sothat I was forced
to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, where I
touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed me; which I
had soon too much cause to repent; for I found afterwards, that
‘most of them had been buccaniers.* I had fifty hands on board; and
my orders were, that I should trade with the Indians in the South Sea,
and make what discoveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked
up, debauched my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize
the ship, and secure me; which they did one morning, rushing into my
cabin, and binding me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard
if I offered to stir. I told them, “I was their prisoner and would



suomit.” ‘This they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me,
only fastening one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a

* Certain pirates, that infested the West Indies, were so called.—H.
220 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

sentry at my door with his piece charged, who was commanded to shoot
me dead, if I attempted my liberty. They sent me down victuals and
drink, and took the government of the ship to themselves. Their design
was to turn pirates, and plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do
till they got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods in the
ship, and then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them having
died since my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with
the Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close
prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be murdered, as
they often threatened me.

Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my
cabin, and said, ‘‘ he had orders from the captain to set me ashore.” I
expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me
who their new captain was. They forced me into the long-boat, letting me
put on my best suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and
take a small bundle of linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and they
were so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I conveyed what
money I had, with some other little necessaries. They rowed about a
league, and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me
what country it was. They all swore, “they knew no more than myself;”’
but said, “ that the captain (as they called him) was resolved, after they
had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they could
discover land.” They pushed off immediately, advising me to make
naste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell.

In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firm
ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider what I
had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the country,
resolving to deliver myself to the first savages I should meet, and pur-
chase my life from them by some bracelets, glass rings, and other toys
with which sailors usually provide themselves in those voyages, and
whereof I had some about me. The land was divided by long rows of
trees, not regularly planted, but naturally growing ; there was great plenty
of grass, and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for fear
of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or on
either side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many tracks of human
feet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld several
animals ina field, and one or two of the same kind sitting on trees.
Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a little discomposed
me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to observe them bettcr. Some of
them coming forward near the place where I lay, gave me an opportunity
of distinctly marking their form. Their heads and breasts were covered
with a thick hair, some frizzled, and others lank; they had beards like
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 221

goats, and a long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore-parts of
their legs and feet; but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might
see their skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no tails, nor
any hair on their buttocks, except about the anus; which, I presume,
nature had placed there to defend them, as they sat on the ground; for
this posture they used, as well as lying down, and often stood on their
hind feet. They climbed high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had
strong extended claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points,
and hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap with pro-
_digious agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had
long lank hair on their heads, but none on their faces, nor anything more
than a sort of down onthe rest of their bodies, except about the anus
and pudenda. The dugs hung between their fore-feet, and often reached
almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of both sexes was
of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I
never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an animal, or one against
which I naturally conceived so strong an antipathy; so that thinking I
had seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up, and pursued
the beaten road, hoping it might direct me to the cabin of some Indian.
Thad not gone far, when I met one of these creatures full in my way,
and coming up directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me,
distorted several ways every feature of his visage, and stared, as at



an object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up
his fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell; but I
222 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNIINMS.

drew my hanger, and gave him a guod blow with the flat side of it, for I
durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be provoked
against me, if they should come to know that I had killed or mained any
of their cattle. When the beast felt the smart, he drew back, and roared
so loud, that a herd of at least forty came flocking about me from the
next field, howling and making hideous faces; but I ran to the body of a
tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them off by waving my hanger.
Several of this cursed brood, getting hold of the branches behind, leaped
up into the tree, whence they began to discharge their excrements
on my head: however, I escaped pretty well by sticking close to the
stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with the filth which fell about
me on every side.

In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a
sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree, and
pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them into this
fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse walking softly in
the field; which my persecutors having sooner discovered, was the cause
of their flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but
soon recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest tokens of
wonder. He viewed my hands and feet, walking round me several
times. I would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly
in the way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least
violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time: at last I took
the boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke
it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when they are going
to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed to receive my
civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his brows, softly raising
up his right fore-foot to remove my hand. Then he neighed three
or four times, but in so different a cadence, that I almost began to think
he was speaking to himself, in some language of his own.

When he and I were. thus employed, another horse came up; who ap-
plying himself first in a very formal manner, they gently struck each other's
right hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying the sound,
which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some paces off, as if
it were to confer together, walking side by side, backward and forward
like persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often turning
their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. I
was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute beasts; and, con-
cluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country were endued
with a proportionable degree of reason, they must needs be the wisest
people upon earth. This thought gave me so much comfort, that I re-
solved to go forward, until 1 could discover some house or village, or
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 223

meet with any of the natives, leaving the two horses to discourse toge-
ther as they pleased. But the first, who was a dapple gray, observing
me to steal off, neighed after me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied
myself to understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and
came near to him to expect his further commands; but concealing my
fear as much as I could; for I began to be in some pain how tnis ad-
venture might terminate; and the reader would easily believe I did not
much like my present situation.

The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness
upon my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with
his right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much, that I was forced to
adjust it better by taking it off, and settling it again; whereat, both he
and his companion (who was a brown bay) appeared so be much sur-
prised; the latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to hang loose
about me, they both looked with new signs of wonder. He stroked my
right hand, seeming to admire the softness and colour; but he squeezed
it so hard between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar;
after which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. They
were under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which they
felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various gestures, not
unlike those of a philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new
and difficult phenomenon.



Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly and
rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they must needs
Page
224
Missing
From
Original


CHAPTER II.

THE AUTHOR CONDUCTED BY A HOUYHNHNM TO HIS HOUSE. THE
HOUSE DESCRIBED. THE AUTHOR'S RECEPTION. THE FOOD OF
THE HOUYHNHNMS. THE AUTHOR IN DISTRESS FOR WANT OF MEAT.
Is AT LAST RELIEVED. HIS MANNER OF FEEDING IN THIS
COUNTRY.

AVING travelled about three miles, we came
to a long kind of building, made of timber
stuck in the ground, and wattled across;
the roof was low, and covered with straw.
I now began to be a little comforted; and
took out some toys, which travellers
usually carry for presents to the savage
Indians of America, and other parts, in
hopes the people of the house would be
thereby encouraged to receive me kindly,
The horse made mea sign to go in first; it was a large room, with a
smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger, extending the whole length
on one side. There were three nags and two mares, not eating, but
29


226 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

some of them sitting down upon their hams, which I very much won-
dered at; but wondered more to see the rest employed in domestic
business ; these seemed but ordinary cattle; however, this confirmed my
first opinion, that a people who could so far civilize brute animals, must
needs excel in wisdom all the nations of the world. The gray came in
just after, and thereby prevented any ill treatment which the others
might have given me. He neighed to them several times in a style of
authority, and received answers.

Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of the
house, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to each other
in the manner of a vista; we went through the second room towards the
third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend. I waited
in the second room, and got ready my presents for the master and
mistress of the house: they were two knives, three bracelets of false
pearls, a small looking-glass, and a bead necklace. The horse neighed
three or four times, and I waited to hear some answers in a human voice,
but I heard no other returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a
little shriller than his. I began to think that this house must belong to
some person of great note among them, because their appeared so much
ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a man of quality



should be served all by horses, was beyond my comprehension ; I feared
my brain was disturbed by my sufferings and misfortunes: I roused
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 227

myself, and looked about me in the room where I was left alone: this
was furnished like the first, only after a more elegant manner. I rubbed
my eyes often, but the same objects still occurred. I pinched my arms
and sides to awake myself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then
absolutely concluded, that all these appearances could be nothing else
but necromancy and magic. But I had no time to pursue these re-
flections ; for the gray horse came to the door, and made me a sign to
follow him into the third room, where I saw a very comely: mare,
together with a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon mats of
straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.

The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming up
close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a most
contemptuous look; and turning to the horse, I heard the word Yahoo
often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of which word I could not
then comprehend, although it was the first I had learned to pronounce ;
but I was soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification ; for. the
horse, beckoning to me with his head, and repeating the hiwun, hhuun,
as he did upon the road, which I understood was to attend him, led me
out into a kind of court, where was another building at some distance
fiom the house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable
creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots and the
flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be that of asses and
dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or disease. ‘They were
all tied by the neck with strong withes fastened to a beam; they held
their food between the claws of their fore feet, and tore it with their
teeth.

The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie
the largest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast
and I were brought close together, and our countenances diligently
compared both by master and servant, who thereupon repeated several
times the word Yahoo. My horror and astonishment are not to be
described, when I observed, in this abominable animal, a perfect human
figure: the face of it indeed was flat and broad, the nose depressed, the
lips large, and the mouth wide; but the differences are common to all
savage nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are distorted, —
by the natives suffering their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or by
carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face against the
mother’s shoulders. The fore-feet of the Yahoo differed from my hands
in nothing else but the length of the nails, the coarseness and brownness
of the palms, and the hairiness‘on the backs. There was the same
resemblance between our feet, with the same differences; which I knew
very well, though the horses did not, because of my shoes and stockings,’
228 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

the same in every part of our bodies except as to hairiness and colour,
which I have already described.

The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was to
see the rest of my body so very different from that of a Yahoo, for which
I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception. The
sorrel nag offered me a root, which he held (after their manner, as we
shall describe in its proper place) between his hoof and pastern: I took
it in my hand, and having smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I
could. He brought out of the Yahoo’s kennel a piece of ass’s flesh, but
it smelt so offensively. that I turned from it with a loathing: he then
threw it to the Yahoo, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterward
shewed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook my
head, to signify that neither of these were food for me. And indeed I
now apprehended that I must absolutely starve if I did not get to some of
my own species; for as to those filthy Yahoos, although there were few
greater lovers of mankind at that time than myself, yet I confess I never
saw any sensitive being so detestable on all accounts; and the more I
came near them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that
country, This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and there-
fore sent the Yahoo back to his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof ta
his mouth, at which I was much surprised, although he did it with ease,
and with a notion that appeared perfectly natural; and made other signs
to know what I would eat; but I could not return him such an answer
as he was able to comprehend: and if he had understood me, I did not see
how it was possible to contrive any way for finding myself nourishment.
While we were thus engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I
pointed to her, and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its
effect; for he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant ta
open a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden
vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a large
bowl full, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself well refreshed.

About noon I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn
like a sledge by four Yahoos. There was in it an old steed, who seemed
to be of quality: he alighted with his hind feet forward, having by
accident got a hurt in his left fore-foot. He came to dine with our
horse, who received him with great civility. They dined in the best
room, and had oats boiled in milk for the second-course, which the old
horse eat warm, but the rest cold. Their mangers were placed circular
in the middle of the room, and divided into several partitions, round
which they sat on their haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle
was alarge rack, with angles answering to every partition of the manger;
so that each horse and mare eat their own hay, and their own mash of
QULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 229

oats and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the
young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master and
mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest. The gray
ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed between him
and his friend concerning me, as I found by the stranger’s often looking
on me, and the frequent repetition of the word Yahoo.

I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing,
seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to my
forefeet; he put his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would
signify, that I should reduce them. to their former. shape, which I
presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting them into my
pocket.

This occasioned further talk, and I saw the company were pleased with,
my behaviour, whereof I soon found the good effects. I was ordered to
speak the few words I understood; and while: they were at dinner, the
master taught me the names for oats, milk, fire; water, and some others;
which I could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a
great facility in learning languages.

When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by signs
and words made me understand the concern. hhe was in that I had nothing
to eat. Oats in their tongue are called hiunnh. This word I pronounced
two or three times; for although I had refused them at first, yet, upon
second thoughts, I considered that I could contrive to make of them a
kind of bread, which might be sufficient, with milk, to keep me alive,
till I could make my escape to some other country, and to creatures of
my own species, The horse immediately ordered a white mare-servant
of his family to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden
tray. These I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed
them till the husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the
grain: I ground and beat them between two stones, and then took water
and made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire, and eat
warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet, though common
enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by time ; and having
been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the first experi-
ment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I cannot but
observe, that I never had one hour’s sickness while I stayed in this
island. It is true, 1 sometimes made a shift to catch a rabbit, or bird,
by springs made of Yahoo’s hairs; and I often gathered wholesome
herbs, which I boiled, and eat as salads with my bread; and now and
then, for a rarity, I made a little butter, and drank the whey. I was at
first at a great loss for salt, but custom soon reconciled me to the want of
it; and Iam confident that the frequent use of salt amoug~us is an
230 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

effect of luxury, and was first introduced only as a provocative to drink,
except where it is necessary for preserving flesh in long voyages, or in
places remote from great markets; for we observe no animal to be fond
of it but man, and as to myself, when I left this country, it was a great
while before I could endure the taste of it in anything that I eat.

This is enough to say upon this subject of my diet, wherewith other
travellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally concerned
whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention this
matter, lest the world should think it impossible that I could find suste-
nance for three years in such a country, and among such inhabitants.

When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place for
me to lodge in; it was but six yards from the house, and separated from
the stable of the Yahoos. Here I yot some straw, and covering myself
with my own clothes, slept very sound. But I was in a short time
better accommodated, as the reader shall know hereafter, when I come
to treat more particularly about my way of living,














CHAPTER III

THE AUTHOR STUDIES TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE. THE HOUYHNHNM,
HIS MASTER, ASSISTS IN TEACHING HIM. THE LANGUAGE DE-
SCRIBED. SEVERAL HOUYHNHNMS OF QUALITY COME OUT OF
CURIOSITY TO SEE THE AUTHOR. HE GIVES HIS MASTER A SHORT
ACCOUNT OF HIS VOYAGE.

. ¥ principal endeavour was to learn the lan-
» suage, which my master (for so I shall
henceforth call him), and his children, and
every servant of his house, were desirous to
teach me; for they looked upon it as a
prodigy, that a brute animal should dis.
cover such marks of a rational creature. [|
pointed to everything, and inquired the
name of it, which I wrote down in my jour-
/ 1S nal-book when I was alone, and corrected
my bad accent, by desiring those of the family to pronounce it often. In
this employment a sorrel nag, one of the under-servants, was very ready
to assist me



A
232 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and their
language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German, of any I
know in Europe; but it is much more graceful and significant. The
emperor Charles V. made almost the same observation, when he said,
“that if he were to speak to his horse, it should be in High-Dutch.”
The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he spent
many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he
afterward told me) that I must be a Yahoo; but my teachableness,
civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which were qualities altogether
opposite to those animals.* He was most perplexed about my clothes,
reasoning sometimes with himself, whether they were a part of my body ;
for I never pulled them off till the family were asleep, and got them on
before they waked in the morning. My master was eager to learn
“whence I came: how I acquired those appearances of reason which I
discovered in all my actions: and to know my story from my own mouth,
which he hoped he should soon do, by the great proficiency I made
in learning and pronouncing their words and sentences.” To help my
memory, I formed ail I learned into the English alphabet, and writ the
words down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I
ventured to do in my master’s presence. It cost me much trouble to
explain to him what I was doing: for the inhabitants have not the least
idea of books or literature.

In about ten weeks’ time, I was able to understand most of his
questions; and in three months, could give some tolerable answers.
He was extremely curious to know “from what part of the country I
came, and how I was taught to imitate rational creatures: because the
Yahoos (whom he saw I exactly resembled in my heads, hand, and face,
that were only visible),t with some appearance of cunning, and the
strongest disposition to mischief, were observed to be the most unteach-
able of all brutes.” I answered, “ that I came over the sea from a far
place, with many others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made
of the bodies of trees: that my companions forced me to land on this
coast, and then left me to shift for myself.” It was with some difficulty,
and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to understand me.
He replied, “that I must needs be mistaken, or that I said the thing
which was not;” for they have no word in their language to express
lying or falsehood. ‘‘ He knew it was impossible that there could be a

* “ Qualities opposite to animals,” is a strange mode of expression; it should be

which were qualities altogether opposite to such as belonged to those animals.”
+ “That were only visible’-—an ambiguous phrase; it should be,—“ which only
were visible,” &c.—S,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 233

country beyond the sea, or that a parcel of brutes coud move a wooden
vessel whither they pleased upon water. He was sure no Houyhnhnms
alive could make such a vessel, nor would trust Yahoos to manage it.

The word Houyhnhnm, in their tongue, signifies a horse, and, in its
etymology, the perfection of nature. 1 told my master, that “I was at a
loss for expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped, in
a short time, I should be able to tell him wonders.” He was pleased to
direct his own mare, his colt, and foal, and the servants of the family, to
take all opportunities of instructing me; and every day, for two or three
hours, he was at the same pains himself: several horses and mares of
quality in the neighbourhood came often to our house, upon the report
spread of ‘a wonderful Yahoo, that could speak like a Houyhnhnm, and
seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some glimmerings of
reason.” These delighted to converse with me: they put many questions,
and received such answers as I was able to return. By all these advan-
tages I made so great a progress, that, in five months from my arrival, I
understood whatever was spoken, and could express myself tolerably
well.

The Houyhnknms, who came to visit my master out of a design of
secing and talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right Yahoo,
because my body had a different covering from others of my kind.
They were astonished to observe me without the usual hair or skin,
except on my head, face, and hands; but I discovered that secret to my
master upon an accident which happened about a fortnight before.

J have already told the reader, that every night, when the family were
gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself with my clothes :
it happened one morning early, that my master sent for me by the sorrel
nag, who was his valet; when he came I was fast asleep, my clothes
fallen off on one side, and my shirt above my waist. I awaked at the
noise he made, and observed him to deliver his message in some disorder ;
after which he went to my master, and in a great fright gave him a very
confused account of what he had seen: this I presently discovered ; for,
going as soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour,
he asked me “the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I was
not the same thing when Islept, as I appeared to be at other times; that
his valet assured him, some part of me was white, some yellow, at least
not so white, and some brown.”

I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to distinguish
myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of Yahous; but now I
found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that my
clothes and shoes would soon wear. out, which already were in a declining
condition, and must be supplied by some contrivance from the hides of

30
1234 A VOYAGE TO IHE HOUYHNHNMS,

Yahoos, or other brutes; whereby the whole secret would be known: I
therefore told my master, “that in the country whence I came, those of
my kind always covered their bodies with hairs of certain animals pre-
pared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies of air, both
hot and cold: of which, as to my own person, I would give him imme-
diate conviction, if he pleased to command me: only desiring his excuse
if I did not expose those parts that nature taught us to conceal.” He
said, “‘my discourse was all very strange, but especially the last part;
for he could not understand, why nature should teach us to conceal what
nature had given; that neither himself nor family were ashamed of any
parts of their bodies; but, however, I might do as I pleased.” Where-
upon I first unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with
my waistcoat. I drew off my shoes, stockings, and breeches. I let my
shirt down to my waist, and drew up the bottom, fastening it like a
girdle about my middle to hide my nakedness.

My master observed the whole performance with great signs of
curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern, one
piece after another, and examined them. diligently; he then stroked my
body very gently, and looked round me-several times; after which, he
said, it was plain I must be a perfect Yahoo; but that I differed very
much from the rest of my species, in the softness, whiteness, and smooth-
ness of my skin; my want of hair on several parts of my body; the
shape and shortness of my claws behind and before: and my affectation
of walking continually on my two hinder feet. He desired to see no
more; and gave me leave to put on my clothes again, for I was shud-
dering with cold.

I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation of
Yahoo, an odious animal, for which I had so utter a hatred and contempt.
I begged he would forbear applying that word to me, and make the same
order in his family and among his friends whom he suffered to see me.
I requested likewise, “that the secret of my having a false covering to
my body might be known to none but himself, at least as long as my
‘present clothing should last; for, as to what the sorrel nag, his valet, had
observed, his honour might command him to conceal it.”

All this my master very graciously consented to, and thus the secret was
kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to supply by
several contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the mean
time, he desired “I would go on with my utmost diligence to learn their
language, because he was more astonished at my capacity for speech and
reason, than at the figure of my body, whether it were covered or not;”
adding, “that he waited with some impatience to hear the wonders which
I promised to tell him.”
GULLIVER S TRAVELS. ; 238

'Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me:
he brought me into ull company, and made them treat me with civility ;
“because,” as he told them privately, “this would put me into good
humour, and make me more diverting.”

Every day, when I waited on him, besides the trouble he was at in
teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself, which I
answered as well as I could; and by these means he had already received
some general ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate
the: several steps by which I advanced to a more regular conversation ;
but the first‘account I gave of myself in any order and length was to this
purpose :— ims

“That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted: to
tell him, with about fifty more of my own species; that we travelled
upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than his
honour’s house. I described .the ship to him inthe best terms I could,
and explained, by the help of my handkerchief displayed, how it was



driven forward by the wind. That upon a quarrel among us, 1 was set
on shore on this coast, where I walked forward, without knowing whi-
ther, till he delivered me from the persecutions of those execrable
Vahoos*’ We asked me, “ who made the ship, and how it was possible
that the Aouyhnhnms of my country would leave it to the management of
brutes?” My answer was, “that I durst proceed no further in my
relation, unless he would give me his word and honour that he would
not be offended, and then I would tell him the wonders I had so often
promised.” He agreed; and I went on by assuring him, ‘‘ that the ship
236 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNUHNMS,

was made by creatures like myself; who, in all the countries I had
travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing rational animals ;
and that upon my arrival hither,* I was as much astonished to see the
Houyhnhnms act like rational creatures, as he, or his friends could be, in
finding some marks of reason in a creature he was pleased to call a
Yahoo ; to which I owned my resemblance in every part, but could not
account for their degenerate and brutal nature.”” I said further, ‘that if
good fortune ever restored me to my native country, to relate my travels
hither, as I resolved to do, everybody would believe, that I said the thing
that was not, that I invented the story out of my own head; and (with
all possible respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under his
promise of not being offended) our countrymen would hardly think it
probable that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding creature of a nation,
and a Yahoo the brute.”

* It should be—‘ upon my arrival here,” not “arrival hither,” which 1s not En-
glish.—S.




CHAPTER IV

THE HOUYHNHNM’S NOTION OF TRUTH AND FALSEHOOD. THE AU-
THOR’S DISCOURSE DISAPPROVED BY HIS MASTER, THE AUTHOR
GIVES A MORE PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF, AND THE AC-
CIDENTS OF HIS VOYAGE.

=<——=, URING my relation, my master’s coun-



tenance indicated great appearance of
uneasiness; because doubting, or not
believing, are so little known in this
country, that the inhabitants cannot tell
how to behave themselves under such
circumstances: and I remember, in fre-
quent discourses with my muster con-
cerning the nature of manhood in other
parts of the world, having occasion to
moraeeees | talk of lying and false representation, it
was with much difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although
he had otherwise a most acute judgment. For he argued thus: “ that the
use of speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive
information of facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not, these
ends were defeated, because I cannot properly be said to understand him ;
and I am so far from receiving information, that he leaves me worse than
238 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

in ignorance, for I am led to believe a thing black, when it is white, and
short, when it is long.” And these were all the notions he had con-
cerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly well understood, and so
universally practised, among human creatures.

To return from this digression. When I asserted that the Yahoos
were the only governing animals in my country, which my master said
was altogether past his conception, he desired to known, ‘‘ whether we
had Houyhnhnms among us, and what was their employment:” I told
him, ‘“‘ we had great numbers; that in summer they grazed in the fields,



and in winter were kept in houses with hay and oats, where Yahoo ser-
vants were employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick



their feet, serve them with food, and make their beds.” ‘I understand
you well,” said my master: “it is now very plain, from all you have
spoken, that whatever share of reason the Yahoos pretend to, the Houy-
hnhnms are your masters; I heartily wish our Yahoos would be so
tractable.” I begged “his honour would please to excuse me from
proceeding any further, because I was very certain that the account he
expected from me would be highly displeasing.” But he insisted in
eommanding* me to let him know the best and the worst. I told him ‘he
should be obeyed.” JIowned “that the Houyhnhnms, among us, whom

* “Tnsisted in commanding” is not English; it should be, “ persisted in com-
manding,” &c.—S.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS, 239

we called horses, were the most generous and comely animals we had;

hat they excelled in strength and swiftness: and when they belonged to
a y g g

persons of quality, were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing



MPL

into diseases, or became foundered in the feet: but then they were sold,
and used to all kind of drudgery till they dicd; after which their skins
were stripped, and sold for what they were worth, and their bodies left
to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the common race of
horses had not so good fortune, being kept by farmers and carriers, and
other mean people, who put them to greater labour, and fed them worse.”



I described, as well as I could, our way of riding; the shape and use of
a bridle,


240

A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

a saddle,

\\
}

i

ali




il), ae

)



and a whip; of harness and wheels,

I added,


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 241

bottoms of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by the
stony ways, on which we often travelled.”

My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered
“how we dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm’s back; for he was sure,
that the weakest servant in his house would be able to shake off the
strongest Yuhoo ; or by lying down, and rolling on his back, squeeze the
brute to death.” I answered, “that our horses were trained up, from
three or four years old, to the several uses we intended them for ; that if
any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for carriages ,
that they were severely beaten, while they were young, for any mischiey-
ous tricks; that the males, designed for the common use of riding or
draught, were generally castrated about two years after their birth, to







take down their spirits, and make them more tame and gentle ; that they
were indeed sensible of rewards and punishments : but his honour would
please to consider, that they had not the least tincture of reason, any
more than the Yahoos in this country.”

It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master
a right idea of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in
variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than among
us. But it is impossible to express his noble resentment at our savage
treatment of the Houyhnhnm race; particularly after I had explained the
manner and use of castrating horses among us, to hinder them from
propagating their kind, and to render them more servile. He said, “if it
were possible there could be any country where Yahoos alone were
endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal;
because reason in time will always prevail against brutal strength. But,
considering the frame of vur bodies, and especially of mine, he thought
no creature of equal bulk was so ill contrived for employing that reason

* whereupon he desired to know ‘“ whether

in the common offices of life ;’
those among whom I lived resembled me or the Yahoos of this country ?”
Tassured him, “that I was as well shaped as most of my age; but the
younger, and the females, were much more soft and tender, and the
skins of the latter generally as white as milk.” He said, “I differed
indeed from other Vuhoos, being much more cleanly, and not altogether

ol
242 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

so deformed; but, in point of real advantage, he thought I differed for
the worse: that my nails were of no use either to my fore or hinder feet:
as to my fore-feet, he could not properly call them by that name, for he
never observed me to walk upon them; that they were too soft to bear



the ground; that I generally went with them uncovered; neither was
the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same shape, or so strong
as that on my feet behind: that I could not walk with any security, for
if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must inevitably fall.” He then
began to find fault with other parts of my body: the flatness of my face,
the prominence of my nose, mine eyes placed directly in front, so that I
could not look on either side, without turning my head: that I was not
able to feed myself, without lifting one of my fore-feet to my mouth ;
and therefore nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity.
He knew not what could be the use of those several clefts and divisions
in my feet behind ; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and
sharpness of stones, without a covering made from the skin of some
other brute: that my whole body wanted a fence against heat and cold,
which I was forced to put on and off every day, with tediousness and
trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animal in this country
naturally to abhor the Yahoos, whom the weaker avoided, and the
stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us to have the gift of
reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that natural
antipathy which every creature discovered against us; nor consequently
how we could tame and render them serviceable. However, “he would,”
as he said, “ debate the matter no farther, because he was more desirous
to know my own story, the country where I was born, and the several
actions and events of my life, before I came hither.”

I assured him “how extremely desirous I was that he should be
satisfied on every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be
possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his honour
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 243

could have no conception; because I saw nothing in his country
to which I could resemble them: that, however, I would do my
best, and strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly desiring his
assistance when I wanted proper words;” which he was pleased to
promise me.

I said, “‘ my birth was of honest parents, in an island called England ;
which was remote from his country, as many days’ journey as the
strongest of his honour’s servants could travel in the annual course of
the sun: that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it is to cure wounds
and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or violence ; that my country
was governed by a female man, whom we called queen; that I left it to
get riches, whereby I might maintain myself and family, when I should
return; that, in my last voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had
about fifty Yahoos under me, many of which died at sea, and I was
forced to supply them by others picked out from several nations; that
our ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great
storm, and the second by striking against a rock.” Here my master
interposed, by asking me, “how I could persuade strangers, out of
different countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had sustained,
and the hazards I had run.” I said, “they were fellows of desperate
fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on account of their
poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits ; others spent
all they had in drinking, whoring, and gaming; others fled for treason ;
many for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery, perjury, forgery, coining
false money; for committing rapes, or sodomy; for flying from their
colours, or deserting to the enemy ; and most of them had broken prison:
none of these durst return to their native countries, for fear of being
hanged, or of starving in a jail; and therefore they were under the
necessity of seeking a livelihood in other places.”

During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me several
times. I had made use of many circumlocutions in describing to him the
nature of the several crimes for which most of our crew had been forced
to fly their country. This labour took up several days’ conversation,
before he was able to comprehend me. He was wholly at aloss to know
what could be the use or necessity of practising those vices. To clear up
which, I endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and riches ;
of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All thisI
was forced to define and describe by putting cases, and making suppo-
sitions. After which, like one whose imagination was struck with some-
thing never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his eyes with
amazement and indignation. Power, government, war, law, punishment,
and a thousand other things, had no terms, wherein that language could
244 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

express them; which made the difficulty almost insuperable, to give my
master any conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent
understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse, he at last
arrived at a competent knowledge of what human nature, in our parts of
the world, is capable to perform; and desired I would give him some
particular account of that land which we call Europe, but especially of
my owms. country.




CHAPTER V.

THE AUTHOR, AT HIS MASTER’S COMMAND, INFORMS HIM OF THE
STATE OF ENGLAND. THE CAUSES OF WAR AMONG THE PRINCES
OF EUROPE. THE AUTHOR BEGINS TO EXPLAIN THE ENGLISH
CONSTITUTION.

ar" e

|

| HE reader may please to observe, that the
'\ following extract of many conversations I
| had with my master, contains a summary of
the most material points which were dis-
coursed at several times for above two years ;
his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction,
as I farther improved in the Houyhnhnm
tongue, I laid before him, as well as I could,
te the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of

eee SS trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences ;
and the answers I gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon
several subjects, were a fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But
I shall here only set down the substance of what passed between
us concerning my own country, reducing it in order as well as I can,



IN


246 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

without any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly
adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do
justice to my master’s arguments and expressions, which must needs
suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a translation into our
barbarous English.

In obedience therefore to his honour’s commands, I related to him
the revolution under the prince of Orange; the long war with France,
entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the present



queen; wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged, and
which still continued: I computed, at his request, ‘ that about a million
of Yahoos might have been killed in the whole progress of it; and
perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and five times as many ships

burnt or sunk.”
He asked me, “ what were the usual causes or motives that made one

country go to war with another?” I answered, “ they were innumerable ;
but I should only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 247

of princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern ;
sometimes the corruption of ministers, who engage their master in a war,
in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil
administration. Difference in opinion has cost many millions of lives;
for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the
juice of a certain berry be blood or wine ;* whether whistling be a vice
or a virtue ;+ whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the
fire;{ what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red, or
gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or
clean, with many more.§ Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or
of so long continuance, as those occasioned by difference of opinion, espe-
cially if it be in things indifferent.

“ Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of them
shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them pre-
tend to any right ; sometimes one prince quarrels with another, for fear
the other should quarrel with him: sometimes a war is entered upon
because the enemy is too strong; and sometimes, because he is too
weak; sometimes our neighbours want the things which we have, or
have the things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or
give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of a war, to invade a country,
after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or
embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into
war against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies convenient for
us, or a territory of land, that would render our dominions round and
compact. If a prince sends forces into a nation, where the people are
poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to death, and make
slaves of the rest, in order to civilize and reduce them from their bar-
barous way of living. It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent
practice, when one prince desires the assistance of another, to secure
him against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the
invader, should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or
banish the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or marriage, is
a frequent cause of war between princes; and the nearer the kindred is,
the greater their disposition to quarrel: poor nations are hungry, and
rich nations are proud: and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.
For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of
all others, because a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill, in cold blood, as
many of his own species, who have never offended him, as he possibly
can.

* Transubstantiation.—H. + Church Music.—H. + Kissing a cross.—H.
§ The colour and make of sacred vestments, and different orders of popish.eccle.
siastics. — H.
248 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.,

“There is likewise a kind of begyarly princes in Europe, not able to
make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations, for
so much a day to each man; of which they keep three-fourths to them-
selves, and it is the best part of their maintenance; such are thosein many
northern parts of Europe.”

“What. you have told me,” said my master, ‘‘ upon the subject of war,
does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason you pre-
tend to; however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the danger ;
and that nature has left you utterly incapable of doing much mischief.
For, your mouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each
other to any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon
your feet, before and behind, they are so short and tender, that one of
our Yahoos would drive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in
recounting the numbers of those who had been killed in batile, I cannot
but think you have said the thing which is not.”

I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his igno-
rance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a description
of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords,
bayonets, battles, sieges, rctreats, attacks, undermines, countermines,





bombardments, sea-fights, ships sunk with a thousand men, twenty thou-
sand killed on each side, dying groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke.
noise, confusion, trampling to death under horses’ feet, flight, pursuit,
“victory; fields strewed with carcases left for food to dogs, and wolves,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS... 249:

and birds of prey; plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and des-
froying. And to set forth the valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured:
him, “that.I had seen them. blow up. a. hundred enemies at. once in a
siege, and as many in a ship; and beheld the dead bodies drop down,
in pieces from the clouds, to.the great diversion of the spectators.’’*

I was going on:to more particulars, when my master commanded me.
silence. He said, ‘whoever understood the nature of Yahoos, might
easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to be capable of every
action I had named, if their strength and cunning equalled their malice.
But as my discourse had increased his abhorrence of the whole species,
so he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind, to which he was
wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears, being used to such
abominable words, might, by degrees, admit them with less detestation :
that although he hated the Yahoos of this country, yet he no more
blamed them for their odious qualities, than he did a gnnayh (a bird of
prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But, when a
creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities,
he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than
brutality itself... He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of reason,
we were only possessed of some: quality, fitted to increase our natural
vices; as the reflection from a.troubled stream returns the image of an
ill-shapen body, not only larger but more distorted.”

He added, “that he had heard too much: upon the subject of war,
both in this and some former. discourses. There was another point,
which a little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that some
of our crew left their country on account of being ruined by law; that I
had already explained the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss
how it should come to pass, that the law, which was intended for every
man’s preservation, should be any man’s ruin. Therefore he desired to
be further satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers thereof,

* It would perhaps be impossible, by the most laboured argument, or forcible
eloquence, to show the absurd injustice, and horrid cruelty of war so effectually, as
by this simple exhibition of them in a new light; with war, including every species
of iniquity and every art of destruction, we become familiar, by degrees, under spe-
cious terms, which are seldom examined, because they are learned at an age in which
the mind implicitly receives and retains whatever is impressed: thus it happens, that
when one man murders another to gratify his lust, we shudder; but when one man
murders a million to gratify his vanity, we approve and we admire, we envy and we
applaud. - If when this and the preceding pages are read, we discover with astonish-
ment, that when the same events have occurred in history, we felt no emotion, and
acquiesced in wars which we could not but know to have commenced for such causes,
and carried on by such means ; let him not be censured for too much debasing his
species, who has contributed to their felicity and preservation, by stripping off the
veil of custom and prejudice, and holding up in their native deformity the vices by
which they become wretched, and the arts by which they are destroyed.—H.

2

os
250 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

according to the present practice in my own country: because he
thought nature and reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal
as we pretended to be, in showing us what we ought to do, and what to
avoid.”

T assured his honour, “that law was a science, in which I had not
much conversed, further than by employing advocates in vain, upon some
injustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all
the satisfaction I was able.”



I said, “‘ there was a society of men among us, bred up from their
youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose, that
white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this
society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example, if my neigh-
bour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove that he ought to
have my cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right, it
being against all rules of law that any man should be allowed to speak
for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am the right owner, lie under
awo great disadvantages : first, my lawyer, being practised almost from
his cradle in defending falschood, is quite out of his element when he
would be an advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always
attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill will. The second
disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, or else
he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his brethren, as
one that would lessen the practice of the law. And therefore I have
but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is, to gain over my
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 251

adversary’s lawycr with a double fee, who will then betray his cliont by
insinuating that he has justice on his side. The second way is for my
lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the
cow to belong to my adversary: and this, if it be skilfully done, will
certainly bespeak the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to
know, that, these judges are persons appointed to decide all contro-
versies of property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out
from the most dexterous lawyers, who have grown old or lazy; and
having been biased all their lives against truth and equity, lie under such
a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and oppression, that I have
known some of them refuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay,
rather than injure the faculty, by doing anything unbecoming their
nature or their office.

“It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever has been done
before, may legally be done again; and therefore they take special care
to record all: the decisions formerly madé against common justice, and
the general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents,
they produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions; and
the judges never fail of directing accordingly.

‘“‘In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the
cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all circum-
. Stances which are not to the purpose. ' For instance, in the case already
mentioned, they never desire to know what claim or title my adversary
has to my cow; but whether the said cow were red or black; her horns
long or short; whether the field I graze her in be round or square;
whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she is
subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn
the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to
an issue,

“It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant
and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and
wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to
multiply ; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence of
truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take thirty years
to decide, whether the field, left me by my ancestors for six generations,
belongs to me, or to a stranger, three hundred miles off.

“Tn the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the
method is much more short and commendable: the judge first sends to
sound the disposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang
or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due forms of law.”

Here my master interposing, said, “it was a pity, that creatures en-
dowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers by the
252 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

description I gave of them must certainly be, were not rather encou-
raged to be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge.” In answer
to which, I assured his honour, “ that in all points out of their own trade,
they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us ;
the most despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to all
knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert the general
reason of mankind, in every other subject of discourse, as in that of their
own profession.”




CHAPTER VI.

A CONTINUATION OF THE STATE OF ENGLAND UNDER QUEEN ANNE,
THE CHARACTER OF A FIRST MINISTER OF STATE IN EUROPEAN
COURTS.

y master was yet wholly at a loss to under-
? stand what motives could incite this race of
lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary
themselves, and engage in a confederacy of
injustice, merely for the sake of injuring
their fellow-animals; neither could he
comprehend what I meant in saying, they
did it for hire. Whereupon! was at much
pains to describe to him the use of money»
} the materials it was made of; and the
value of the metals; “that when a Yahoo had got a great store of this
precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to,
the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most
costly meats and drinks; and have his choice of the most beautiful
females. Therefore, since money alone was able to pe:form all these


954 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

feats, our Yahoos thought they could never have enough of it to spend,
or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from their natural bent,
either to profusion or avarice. That the rich man enjoyed the fruit of
the poor man’s labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in pro-
portion to the former. That the bulk of our people were forced to
live very miserably, by labouring every day for small wages, to make a
few live plentifully.”

I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to the
same purpose; but his honour was still to seek ; for he went upon a sup-
position, that all animals had a title to their share in the productions of
the earth, and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he
desired I would let him know, “what these costly meats were, and how
any of us happened to want them?” Whereupon I enumerated as many
sorts as came into my head, with the various methods of dressing them,
which could not be done without sending vessels by sea to every part of
the world, as well for liquors to drink as for sauces and innun erable other .
conveniences. I assured him, “ that this whole globe of earth must be at
least three times gone round, before one of our better female Yahoos
could get her breakfast, or a cup to put itin.” He said, “ that must
needs be a miserable country, which cannot furnish food for its own
inhabitants.” But what he chiefly wondered at, was, how such vast
tracts of ground as I described should be wholly without fresh water, and
the people put to the necessity of sending over the sea for drink.” I
replied “that England, (the dear place of my nativity,) was computed
to produce three times the quantity of food more than its inhabitants are
able to consume, as well as liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out
cf the fruits of certain trees, which made excellent drink ; and the same
proportion in every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the
luxury and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we
sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries,
whence in return -we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to
spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of necessity, that vast numbers
of our people are compelled to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing,
stealing, cheating, pimping, flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging,
gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poi-
soning, whoring, canting, libelling, free-thinking, and the like occupa-
tions: everyone of which terms I was at much pains to make him
understand.

“That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries, to
supply the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of

liquid which made us merry, by putting us out of our senses, diverted
all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the brain,
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 255

raised our nopes, and banished our fears, suspended every office of reason
for a time, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we fell into a

ae



profound sleep ; although it must be confessed that we always awaked
sick or dispirited ; and that the use of this liquor filled us with diseases,
which made our lives uncomfortable and short.

“ But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by
furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich, and to each
other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as I ought to be,
I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the
building and furniture of my house employ as many more, and five times
the number to adorn my wife.” :

I was going on to tell him of another .sort of people who get their
livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions, informed
his honour, that many of my crew had died of diseases. But, here it
was with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I
meant. “He could: easily conceive, that a Houyhnhnm grew weak and
256 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

neavy a few days before his death, or by some accident might hurt a
limb; but that nature, who works all things to perfection, should suffer
any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to
know the reason of so unaccountable an evil.”

I told him “ we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary to
each other; that we eat when we are not hungry, and drank without
the provocation of thirst; that we sat whole nights drinking strong
liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our
bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion. That prostitute female
Yahoos acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of
those who fell into their embraces: that this, and many other diseases,
were propagated from father to son; so that great numbers came into
the world with complicated maladies upon them: that it would be endless
to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human bodies, for they
would not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread over every limb and




=]
Ay

UN

Ny Lyi

joint—in short, every part, external and intestine, having diseases ap-
‘propriated to itself. To remedy which, there was a sort of people bred up
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 257

among us in the profession, or pretence, of curing the sick. And be-
cause I had some skill in the faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour,
let him know the whole mystery and method by which they proceed.

“ Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion; whence
they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is necessary, either
through the natural passage or upwards at the mouth. Their next
business is, from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices, sea-
weed, excrements, bark of trees, serpents, toads, frogs, spiders, dead
men’s flesh and bones, birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a composition,
for smell and taste, the most abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they
can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately rejects with
loathing, and this they call a vomit: or else, from the same storehouse,
with some other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the
orifice above or below (justas the physician then happens to be disposed)
a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, re-
laxing the belly, drives down all before it; and this they call a purge, or
a clyster. For nature, (as the physicians allege) having intended the
superior anterior orifice only for the intromission of solids and liquids,
and the inferior posterior for ejections ; these artists* ingeniously consi-
dering, that in all diseases nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to
replace her in it, the body must be treated in a manner directly contrary,
by interchanging the use of each orifice ; forcing solids and liquids in at
the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth.

“But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only
imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures:
these have their several names, and so have the drugs that are
proper for them; and with these our female Yahoos are always in-
fested.

“One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics,
wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when they
rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is
always in their power, when recovery is not: and, therefore, upon any
unexpected signs of amendment, after they pronounced their sentence,
rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to appiove their
sagacity to the world, by a seasonable dose.

‘They are likewise of special use to husbands who are grown weary of

itheir mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of state, and often to
princes.”

I had formerly, upon occasions, discoursed with my master upon the

* “These artists,” is a nominative, without any verb to which it refers in the re-
mainder of the sentence.—S,

33


258 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

nature of government in general, and particularly of our own excellent
constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But

naving here accidently mentioned a minister of state, he commanded me

some time after, to inform him, what species of Yahoo I particularly
meant by that appellation.

I told him, “‘ that a first or chief minister of state, who was the person
I intended to describe, was a creature wholly exempt from joy and grief,
love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, he makes use of no other passions,
but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that he applies his word
to all uses, except to the indication of his mind; that he never tells a
truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lie; nor a lie, but
with a design that you should take it for a truth; that those he speaks

worst of behind their backs are in the surest way of preferment; and

whenever he begins to praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from
that day forlorn. The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially
when it is confirmed with an oath; after which, every wise man retires,
and gives over all hopes.

“There are three methods by which a man may rise to be chief mi-
nister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose of a
wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining
his predecessors ; and the third is, by a furious zeal, in public assemblies,
against the corruptions of the court. But a wise prince would rather
choose to employ those who practise the last of these methods; because
such zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the
will and passions of their master. That these ministers, having all em-
ployments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing the
majority of a senate or great council; and at last, by an expedient, called
an act of indemnity (whereof I described the nature to him), they secure
themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from the public laden with
the spoils of the nation.

“ The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in his
own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porter, by imitating their master, be-
come ministers of state in their several districts, and learn to excel in
the three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and bribery. Ac-
cordingly, they have a subaltern court paid to them by persons of the
best rank; and sometimes, by the force of dexterity and impudence,
arrive, through several gradations, to be successors to their lord.

“He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite foot-
man, who are the tunnels, through which all graces are conveyed,
and may properly be called, in the last resort, the governors of the
kingdom.”

One day in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the no-

ae
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 259

bility of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I could
not pretend to deserve: “that he was sure I must have been born of



some noble family, because I far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanli-
ness, all the Yahoos of his nation, although I seemed to fail in strength
and agility, which must be imputed to my different way of living from
those other brutes; and besides, I was not only endowed with the faculty
of speech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree that
with all his acquaintance I passed for a prodigy.”

He made me observe, “that among the Houyhnhnms, the white, the
sorrel, and the iron-grey, were not so exactly shaped as the bay, the
dapple-grey, and the black; nor born with equal talents of mind, or a
capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the con-
dition of servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own
race, which in that country would be reckoned monstrous and un-
natural.”

I made his honour the most humble acknowledgments for the good
260 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

opinion he was pleased to conceive of me; but assured him, at the same
time, that my birth was of the lower sort, having been born of plain
honest parents, who were just able to give mea tolerable education:
that nobility, amongst us, was altogether a different thing from the idea
he had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their childhood in
idleness and luxury; that as soon as years will permit, they consume
their vigour, and contract odious diseases among lewd females; and when
their furtunes are almost ruined, they marry some women of mean birth,
disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of
money), whom they hate and despise. That the productions of such
marriages are generally scrofulous, ricketty, or deformed children; by
_ which means the family seldom continues above three generations, unless
the wife takes care to provide a healthy father, among her neighbours or:
domestics, in order to improve and continue the breed. That a weak
diseased body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the
true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust appearance is so dis-
graceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to
have been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his mind run
parallel with those of his body, being a composition of spleen, dulness,
ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride.
“Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be enacted,
repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the decision of all
our possessions, without appeal.”






CHAPTER VII.

THE AUTHOR’S GREAT LOVE OF HIS NATIVE COUNTRY. HIS MASTER'S
OBSERVATIONS UPON THE CONSTITUTION AND ADMINISTRATION OF
ENGLAND, AS DESCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR, WITH PARALLEL CASES

AND COMPARISONS. HIS MASTER’S OBSERVATIONS UPON HUMAN
NATURE,

WE reader may be disposed to wonder how
I could prevail on myself to give so free a
| representation of my own species, among
| a race of mortals who are already too apt to
| conceive the vilest opinion of human kind,
‘| from that entire congruity between me and
= their Yahoos. ButI must freely confess, that
| the many virtues of those excellent quad-
| rupeds, placed in opposite view to human
= | corruptions, had so far opened my eyes
and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and
passions of man in a very different light, and to think the honour of my
own kind not worth managing: which, besides, it was impossible for me





202 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who daily
convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I had not the
least perception before, and which, with us, would never be numbered
even among human infirmities. I had likewise learned, from his
example, and utter detestation of all falsehood or disguise; and truth
appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every
hing to it.

Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was
yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation
of things. I had not yet been a year in this country before I contracted
such a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that J entered on a firm
resolution never to return to human kind, but to pass the rest of my life
among the admirable Houyhnhnms, in the contemplation and practice of
every virtue; where I could have no example or incitement to vice.
But it was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a
felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is now some comfort
to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I extenuated their
faults as much as I durst before so strict an examiner; and upon every
article gave as favourable a turn as the matter would bear. For, indeed,
who is there alive that would not be swayed by his bias and partiality to
the place of his birth?

T have related the substance of several conversations I had with my
master, during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to be in
his service; but have, indced, for brevity sake, omitted much more than
is here set down.

When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to
be fully satisfied. he sent for me one morning early, and commanded me
to sit down at some distance (an honour which he had never before
conferred upon me). He said, ‘“‘he had been very seriously con-
sidering my whole story, as far as it related both to myself and to my
country: that he looked upon us as a sort of animals, to whose share,
by what accident he could not conjecture, some small pittance of reason
had fallen, whereof we made no other use, than by its assistance to
aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which
nature had not given us; that we disarmed ourselves of the fe.7 abilities
she had bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our origina!
wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to supply
them by our own inventions. That as to myself, it was manifest I had
neither the strength nor agility of a common Yahoo; that I walked
infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out a contrivance to make my
claws of no use or defence, and to remove the hair from my chin, which
was intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather. Lastly, thai 1
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS 2638

could neither run with speed, nor climb trees like my brethren,” as
he called them, “‘the Yahoes in his country.

“That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to
our gross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue; because reason
alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was therefore a
character we have no pretence to challenge, even from the account I had
given of my own people; although he manifestly perceived, that, in
order to favour them, I had concealed many particulars, and often said
the thing which was not.

““He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because he observed,
that as I agreed in every feature of my body with other Yahoos, except
where it was to my real disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and acti-
vity, the shortness of my claws, and some other particulars where nature
had no part: so from the representation I had given him of our lives,
our manners, and our actions, he found as near a resemblance in the dis-
position of our minds.” He said, ‘‘the Yahoos were known to hate one
another, more than they did any different species of animals; and the
reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes, which
all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun
to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that invention
conceal many of our deformities from each other, which would else be
hardly supportable. But he now found he had been mistaken, and that
the dissensions of those brutes in his country were owing to the same
cause with ours, as I had described them. For if,” said he, ‘ your throw
among five Yahoos as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will,
instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single, one
impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was usually em-
ployed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at
home were tied at a distance from each other; that if a cow died of age
or accident, before a Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own Yahoos,
those in the neighbourhood would come in herds to secure it, and then
would ensue such a battle as I had described, with terrible wounds made
by their claws on both sides, although they seldom were able to kill one
another, for want of such convenient instruments of death as we had in-
vented. At other times the like battles have been fought between the
Yahoos of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause; those of
one district watching all opportunities to surprise the next, before they
are prepared. But if they find their project has miscarried, they return
home, and, for want of enemies, engage in what I call a civil war among
themselves.

“That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones of
several colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond; and when part
264 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

of these stones is fixed in the carth, as it sometimes happens, they will
dig with their claws for whole days to get them out; then cary them
away, and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but still looking round
with great.caution, for fear their comrades should find out their treasure.”
My master said, “he could never discover the reason of this unnatural
appetite, or how these stones could be of any use toa Yahoo; but now
he believed it might proceed from the same principle of ayarice which
Thad ascribed to mankind. ‘That he had once, by way of experiment,
privately removed a heap of these stones from the place where one of his
Yahoos had buried it; whereupon the sordid animal, missing his trea-
sure, by his loud lamenting brought the whole herd to the place, there
miserably howled, then fell to tearing and biting the rest; began to pine
away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, fill he ordered a servant
privately to convey the stones into the same hole, and hide them as
before; which, when his Yafoo had found, he presently recovered his
spirits and good humour, but took care good to remove them toa better
hiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute.”

My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, “ that
n the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and most fre-
quent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual intoads of the neigh-



bouring Yahoos.
He said, “it was common, when two Yafoos discoyered such a stone
in a field, and were contending which of them should be the proprictor,
a third would take the advantage, and carry it away from them both ;”
which our master would needs contend had some kind of resemblance
with our suits at law; wherein I thought it for our credit not to un-
deceive him ; since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable
than many decrees among us: because the plaintiff and defendant there
lost nothing beside the stone they contended for: whereas our courts of
equity would never have dismissed the cause, while either of them had



anything left.

My master, continuing his discourse, said, “there was nothing that
rendered the Yahoos more odious, than their undistinguishing appetite to
devour everything that came in their way, whether herbs, roots, berries,
the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled together: and it was pe-
culiar in their temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by
rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, than much better food provided
for them at home. If their prey held out, they would eat till they were
ready to burst; after which nature had pointed out to them a certain
root that gave them a general evacuation.

«There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare
and difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought for with much eager-
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 265

ness, and would suck it with great delight; it produced in them the
same effects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes hug,



and sometimes tear one another; they would howl, and grin, and chatter
and reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud.”

I did indeed observe that the Yahoos were the only animals in this
country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much fewer than
horses have among us, and contracted not by any ill treatment they mect
with, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute. Neither
has their language any more than a general appellation for these mala-
dies, which is borrowed from the name of the beasts, and called hnea
yahoo, or Yahoo's evil ; and the cure prescribed is a mixture of their own
dung and urine, forcibly put down the Yahoo's throat. This I have
since often known to have been taken with success, and do here freely
recommend it to my countrymen, for the public good, as an admirable
specific against all diseases produced by repletion.

“ As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like,” my
master confessed, “he could find little or no resemblance between the
Yahoos of that country and those in ours. For he only meant to observe,
what parity there was in ournatures. He had heard, indeed, some curious
Houyhnhnms observe, that in most herds there was a sort of ruling Yahoo
(as among us there is generally some leading or principal stag in a park),
who are always more deformed in body, and mischievous in disposition,
than any of the rest. That this leader had usually a favourite, as like
himself as he could get, whose employment was to lick his master’s feet

34
266 A VOYAGE TO THE INOUYHNHNMS,

and posteriors, and drive the female Yahoos to his kennel ;* for which he
was now and then rewarded with a piece of ass’s flesh, This favourite is
hated by the whole herd, and therefore, to protect himself, keeps always
near the person of his leader. He usually continues in office till a worse
can be found; but the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at
the head of all the Yahoos in that district, young and old, male and
female, come in a body,} and discharge their excrements upon him from
head to foot. But how far this might be applicable at our courts, and
favourites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best de-
termine.”

I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased
human understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has
judgment enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in
the pack, without being ever-mistaken.

My master told me, ‘‘there were some qualities remarkable in the
Yahoos, which he had not observed me to mention, or at least very
slightly, in the accounts I had given of human kind.” He said, ‘ those
animals, like other brutes, had their females in common ; but in this they
differed, that the she Yahoo would admit the males while she was preg-
nant; and that the hes would quarrel and fight with the females, as
fiercely as with each other; both which practices were such degrees of
infamous brutality, as no other sensitive creature ever arrived at.

“ Another thing he wondered at in the Yahoos, was their strange dis-
position to nastiness and dirt; whereas there appears to be a natural
love of cleanliness in all other animals.” As to the two former accusa-
tions, I was glad to let them pass without any reply, because I had not a
word to offer upon them in defence of my own species, which otherwise I
certainly had done from my own inclinations. But I could have easily
vindicated human kind from the imputation of singularity upon the last
article, if there had been any swine in that country, (as, unluckily for me,
there were not,) which, although it may be a sweeter quadruped than a
Yahoo, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more cleanliness :
and so his honour himself must have owned if he had seen their filthy
way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing and sleeping in mud.

My master likewise mentioned another quality, which his servants had
discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable.
He said, “ a fancy would sometimes take a Yahoo to retire into a corner, to

* Flattery and pimping.—H.

+ This sentence is altogether ungrammatical: “ his successor,” is the only nomi-
native to the plural verb ‘‘come ;” it may be thus amended—“ but the very moment
he is discarded, all the Yahoos in that district, young and old, male and female, with
his successor at their head, come in a body,” &c.—S,




GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 267

lie down, and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near him,
although he were young and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor did
the servant imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedy
they found, was to set him to hard work, after which he would infallibly
come to himself.”’ To this I was silent out of partiality to my own kind:
yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of spleen, which only
seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich ; who if* they were forced
to undergo the same regimen, I would undertake for the cure.

His honour had further observed, “that a female Yahoo would often
stand behind a bank or bush, to gaze on the young males passing by,
and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces, at
which time it was observed that she had a most offensive smell; and
when any of the males advanced, would slowly retire, looking often back,
and with a counterfeit show of fear, run off into some convenient place,
where she knew the male would follow her

“ At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four
of her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, and grin,
and smell her all over; and then turn off with gestures, that seemed to
express contempt and disdain.” E



Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which
he had Grawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by

* Here the word “who,” is a nominative without reference to any verb after.
wards,—S,
268 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMs,

others ; however, I could not reflect without some amazement, and much
sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal,
should have place by instinct in womankind.

I expected every moment that my master would accuse the Yahoos of
those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common among us. But
Nature, it seems, has not been so expert a schoolmistress: and these
politer pleasures are entirely the productions of Art and Reason on our
side of the globe.





.
Nee



CHAPTER VIII.

THE AUTHOR RELATES SEVERAL PARTICULARS OF THE YAHOOS,
THE GREAT VIRTUES OF THE HOUYHNHNMS. THE EDUCATION
AND EXERCISE OF THEIR YOUTH, THEIR GENERAL ASSEMBLY.

s I ought to have understood human na-
ture much better than I supposed it pos-
sible for my master to do, so it was easy to
apply the character he gave of the Yahoos
to myself and my countrymen; and I
believed I could yet make further dis-
coveries, from my own observation. I
therefore often begged his honour to let
me go among the herds of Yahoos in the
neighbourhood ; to which he always very
per onely consented, being perfectly convinced that the hatred I bore
these brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and his
honour ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and
good natured, to be my guard; without whose protection I durst not
undertake such adventures, For I haye already told the reader how


278 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS,

much I was pestcred by these odious animals, upon my first arrival ; and
I afterwards failed very narrowly three or four times of falling into their
clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without my hanger.
And I have reason to believe they had some imagination that I was of
their own species, which I often assisted myself by stripping up my
sleeves, and showing my naked arms and breasts in their sight, when
my protector was with me. At which times they would approach as
near as they durst, and imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys,
but ever with great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with cap and
stockings is always persecuted by the wild ones, when he happens to be
got among them.

They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once
caught a young male of three years old, and endeayoured, by all marks
of tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a squalling, and
scratching, and biting with such violence, that I was forced to let it go;
and it was high time, for a whole troop of old ones came about us at the
noise, but finding the cub was safe (for away it ran), and my sorrel nag
being by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the young animal's
flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat between a weasel
and a fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot another circumstance
(and perhaps I might have the reader’s pardon if it were wholly omitted)
that while I held the odious vermin in my hands, it voided its filthy
excrements, of a ycllow liquid substance, all over my clothes; but by
good fortune there was a small brook hard by, where I washed myself as
clean as I could; although I durst not come into my master’s presence
until I were sufficiently aired.

By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the most unteach-
able of all animals: their capacities never reaching higher than to draw
or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect arises chiefly from a
perverse, restiff disposition. For they are cunning, malicious, treacherous,
and revengeful, They are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit,
and by consequence insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the
red-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the
rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength and activity.

The Houyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present use in huts not far from
the house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain fields, where they dig
up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and search about for carrion, or

sometimes catch weasels and luhimuhs (asort of wild rat), which they.

greedily devour. Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with their
nails on the side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves,
only the kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three
cubs.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 271

They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue long
under water, where they often take fish, which the females carry home



to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the reader will pardon
my relating an odd adventure.

Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the
weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river that
was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked,
and went down softly into the stream. It happened that a young female
Yahoo, standing behind a bank, saw the whole proceeding, and inflamed
by desire, as the nag and I conjectured, came running with all speed, and
leaped into the water, within five yards of the place where I bathed, I
was neyer in my life so terribly frightened. The nag was grazing at
some distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me after a most
fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came gal-
loping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the utmost
reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she stood gazing
and howling all the time I was putting on my clothes.

This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as well as
of mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny that I was
a real Yahoo in every limb and feature, since the females had a natural
propensity to me, as one of their own species; neither was the hair of
this brute of a red colour (which might have been some excuse for an
appetite a little irregular), but as black as a sloe, and her countenance
did not make an appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of her kind;
for I think she could not be above eleven years old.
272 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

Having lived three years in this country, the reader I suppose will
expect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account of the
manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed my principal
study to learn.

As these noble Houyhnknms are endowed by nature with a gencral
disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas of what is
evil in a rational creature; so their grand maxim is, to cultivate reason,
and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is reason among them in a
point problematical, as with us, where men can argue with plausibility
on both sides of the question; but strikes you with immediate con-
viction; as it must needs do, where it is not mingled, obscured, or
discoloured, by passion and interest. I remember it was with extreme
difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning of the
word opinion, or how a point could be disputable; because reason taught
us to affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our know-
ledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes,
and positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are evils unknown
among the Houyhnhnms. In the like manner, when I used to explain
to him our several systems of natural philosophy, he would laugh, “ that
a creature pretending to reason, should value itself upon the knowledge
of other people’s conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if it
were certain, could be of no use.” Wherein he agreed entirely with
the sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as
the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers. I have often
since reflected, what destruction such doctrine would make in the
libraries of Europe; and how many paths of fame would be then shut
up in the learned world. 7

Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the
Houyhnhnms ; and these not confined to particular objects, but universal
to the whole race. For a stranger from the remotest part is equally
treated with the nearest neighbour; and wherever he goes, looks upon
himself as at home. They preserve decency and civility in the highest
degrees, but are altogether ignorant of ccremony. They have no fond-
ness for their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating them
proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason. And I observed my
master to show the same affection to his neighbour's issue, that he had
for his own. ‘They will have it that nature teaches them to love the
whole species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons,
where there is a superior degree of virtue.

When the matron Houyhnhmns have produced one of each sex, they
no longer accompany with their consorts, except they lose one of their
issue by some casualty, which very seldom happens ; but in such a case


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 2713

they meet again; or when the like accident befalls a person whose wife
is past bearing, some other couple bestow on him one of their own colts,
and then go together again until the mother is pregnant. This caution
is necessary, to prevent the country from being overburdened with
numbers. But the race of inferior Hevyhnhnms bred up to be servants,
is not so strictly limited upon this article: these are allowed to produce
three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble families.

In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours as



will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength is
chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female; not upon the
account of love, but to preserve the race from degenerating; for where
a female happens to excel in strength, a consort is chosen, with regard
to comeliness.

Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements, haye no place in
their thoughts; or terms whereby to express them in their language.
The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because it is the deter-
mination of their parents and friends: it is what they see done every
day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary actions of a rea-
sonable being. But the violation of marriage, or any other unchastity,
was never heard of, and the married pair pass their lives with the same
friendship and mutual benevolence, that they bear to all others of the
same species who come in their way; without jealousy, fondness,
quarrelling, or discontent.

39
274 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNWMS,

In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, and
highly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a grain of
oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old: nor milk, but
very rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the morning, and
as many in the evening, which their parents likewise observe ; but the
servants are not allowed above half that time, and a great part of their
grass is brought home, which they eat at the most convenient hours,
when they can be best spared from work.

Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons
equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master
thought it monstrous inus, to give the females a different kind of
education from the males, except in some articles of domestic manage-
ment; whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our natives were good
for nothing but bringing children into the world: and to trust the care
of our children to such uscless animals, he said, was yet a greater
instance of brutality.

But the Houyhnhnms train up their youth to strength, speed, and
hardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down steep hills,
and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat, they
are ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or river. Four times
a year the youth of a certain district meet to show their proficiency in



running and leaping, and other feats of strength and agility; where the
victor is rewarded with a song in his or her praise. On this festival,
the servants drive a herd of Yahoos into the field, laden with hay, and
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 275

oats, and milk, for a repast to the Houyhninms, after which these
‘brutes are immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome to
the assembly.

Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative
council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty miles
from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here they inquire
into the state and condition of the several districts; whether they abound
or be deficient in hay, or oats, or cows, or Yahoos ; and wherever there
is any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately supplied by unani-
mous consent and contribution. Here likewise the regulation of children
is settled: as for instance, if a Houykninm has two males, he changes
one of them with another that has two females: and when a child has
been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it is deter-
mined what family in the district shall breed another to supply the loss.




CHAPTER IX.

A GRAND DEBATE AT THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS,
AND HOW IT WAS DETERMINED. THE LEARNING OF THE HOU-
YHNHNMS. THEIR BUILDINGS, THEIR MANNER OF BURIALS.
THE DEFECTIVENESS OF THEIR LANGUAGE,

ne of these grand assemblies was held in
my time, about three months before my
departure, whither my master went as
the representative of our district. In this
council was resumed their old debate,
and indeed the only debate that ever
happened in their country; whereof my
master, after his return, gave me a very
particular account,

The question to be debated was, “‘ Whether the Yahoos should be ex
terminated from the face of the earth?’ One of the members for the
affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and weight,
alleging, “that as the Yahoos were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 277

animals which nature ever produced, so they were the most restiff and
indocile, mischievous and malicious; they would privately suck the
teats of the Houyhnhnm’s cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down
their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and commit a
thousand other extravagancies.” He took notice of a general tradition
“that Yahoos had not been always in their country; but that, many ages
ago, two of these brutes appeared together upon a mountain; whether
produced by the heat of the sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from
the ooze and froth of the sea, was never known: that these Yahoos en-
gendered, and their brood, in a short time, grew so numerous as to over-
run and infest the whole nation ; that the Houyhnknms, to get rid of this
evil, made a general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole herd; and
destroying the elder every Houyhnhnm kept two young ones in a kennel,
and brought them to such a degree of tameness, as an animal so savage
by nature, can be capable of acquiring; using them for draught and
carriage: that there seemed to be much truth in this tradition, and that
those creatures could not be yl/nkniamshy (or aborigines of the land), be-
cause of the violent hatred the Houyhninms, as well as all other animals,
bore them, which, although their evil disposition sufficiently deserved,
could never have arrived at so high a degree, if they had been aborigines ;
or else they would have been long since rooted out; that the inhabitants,
tuking a fancy to use the service of the Yahoos, had yery imprudently





ra ie
Peart

ee





neglected to cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely animal,
easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive smell; strong
enough for labour, although they yield to the other in agility of body ;
278 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYNNHNMS.

and if their braying be no agreeable sound, it is far preferable to the
horrible howlings of the Yahoos.

Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when my
master proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof he had indeed
borrowed the hint from me. ‘‘ He approved of the tradition mentioned
by the honourable member who spoke before, and affirmed that the two
Yahoos said to be scen first among them, had been driven thither over
the sea; that coming to land, and being forsaken by their companions,
they retired to the mountains, and degenerated by degrees, became in-pro-
cess of much time more savage than those of their own speciesin the country
whence these two originals came. The reason of this assertion was, that
he had now in his possession a certain wonderful Yahoo (meaning my-
self), which most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen.
He then related to them how he first found me; that my body was all
covered with an artificial composure of the skins and hairs of other
animals; that I spoke in a language of my own, and had thoroughly
learned theirs; that [ had related to him the accidents which brought
me thither; that when he saw me without my covering I was an exact
Yahoo in every part, only a whiter colour, less hairy, and with shorter
claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in my
own and other countries, the Yahoos acted as the governing rational
animal, and held the Houyhnhnms in servitude ; that he observed in me
all the qualities of a Yahoo, only a little more civilized by some tincture
of reason, which, however, was in a degree as far inferior to the
Houyhnhnm race, as the Yahoos of their country were to me; that among
other things I mentioned a custom we had of castrating Houyhnhnms
when they were young, in order to render them tame; that the operation
was casy and safe; that it was no shame to learn wisdom from brutes,
as industry is taught by the ant, and building by the swallow (for so I
translate the word lynkannh, although it be a much larger fowl) ; that
this invention might be practised upon the younger Yuhoos here, which
besides rendering them tractable and fitter for use, would in an age
put an end to the whole species, without destroying life: that in the
mean time the Louyhnhnms should be exhorted to cultivate the breed of
asses, which, as they are in all respects more valuable brutes, so they
have this advantage, to be fit for service at five years old, which the
others are not til: twelve.”

This was all my master thought-fit to tell me at that time, of what
passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one par-
ticular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the un-
happy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and whence I
date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life.
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 279

The Houyhnhnms have no letters, and consequently their knowledge is
all traditional. But there happening few events of any moment among
a people so well united, naturally disposed to every virtue, wholly go-
verned by reason, and cut off from ail commerce with other nations ; the
historical part is casily preserved without burdening their memories. I
have already observed that they are subject to no diseases, and therefore
can have no need of physicians. However, they have excellent medi-
cines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental bruises and cuts in the
pastern or frog of the foot by sharp stones, as well as. other maims and
hurts in the several parts of the body.

They calculate the year by the revolutions of the sun and the moon,
but usc no subdivisions into weeks. ‘They are well enough acquainted
_ with the motions of those two luminaries, and understand the nature of
eclipses; and this is the utmost progress of their astronomy.

In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein
the justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as exactness of
their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very much
in both of these, and usually contain either some exalted notions of
friendship and benevolence, or the praises of those who were victors in
races and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very rude
and simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from
all-injuries of cold and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at forty
years old loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm; it grows
very straight, and being pointed like stakes, with a sharp stone (for the
Houyhninms know not the use of iron), they stick them erect in the
ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat straw, or some-
times wattles between them. The roof is made after the same manner,
and so are the doors.

The Houyhnhnm use the hollow part, between the pastern and the
hoof of the fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with greater
dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white mare
of our family thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose ) with
that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the work
which requires hands in the same manner. They have a kind of hard
flints, which, by grinding against other stones, they form into instruments,
that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With tools made of
these flints, they likewise cut their hay, and reap their oats, which there
grow naturally in several fields; the Yahoos draw home the sheaves in
carriages, and the servants tread them in certain covered huts to get out
the grain, which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthern
and wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun.

If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried
280 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNBNMS,

in the obscurest pk ces that can be found, their friends 2nd relations
expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure ; nor does the dying

n/t 3
Wi

nh 5 Bit ,
ey Al

rs

Mi
gs










person discover the least regret that he is leaving the world, any more
than if he were upon returning home from a visit to one of his neigh-
bours. I remember my master having once made an appointment with
a friend and his family to come to his house, upon some affair of impor-
tance: on the day fixed, the mistress and her two children came very
late ; she made two excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said,
happened that very morning to dAnuwnh, The word is strongly
expressive in their language, but not easily rendered into English;
it signifies, “to retire to his first mother.” Her excuse for not coming
sooner, was, that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a
good while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his
body should be laid; and I observed, she behaved herself at our house
as cheerfully as the rest: she died about three months after.

They live generally to seventy or seventy-five years, very seldom to
fourscore: some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual decay;
but without pain. During this time they are much visited by their friends,
because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease and satisfaction.
However, about ten days before their death, which they seldom fail in
computing, they return the visits that have been made them by those
who are nearest in the neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient
sledge drawn by Yahoos; which vehicle they use, not only upon this
GULLIVER’S, TRAVELS. 281

ocvasion, but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are
lamed by any accident ; and therefore when the dying Houyhnhnms return
those visits, they take a solemn leave of their friends, as if they were
going to some remote part of the country, where they designed to pass
the rest of their lives.

I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the Houyhnhams.
have no word in their language to express anything that is evil, except
what they borrow from the deformities or ill qualities of the Yahoos. Thus
they denote the folly of a servant, an omission of a child, a stone that
cuts their feet, a continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and the
like, by adding to each the epithetof Yahoo. For instance, hhum Yahoo.
whnaholm Yahoo, ynlkmndwiklma Yahoo, and an ill-contrived house
ynholmhnmrohiniw Yahoo.

I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and
virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time to publish
a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the reader
thither; and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own sad
catastrophe,




CHAPTER X.

THE AUTHOR'S ECONOMY, AND HAPPY 1) AMONG THT HOUY-
HNHNMS, HIS GREAT IMPROVEMENT IN VIRTUE BY CONYERSING
WITH THEM. THEIR CONVERSATIONS. HE AUTHOR HAs NoTICK
GIVEN HIM BY JUS MASTER, THAW HE MUST DEPARY FROM TF
COUNTRY, HE FALLS INTO A SWOON FOR GRIEF; BUT sUBMIT
HE CONTRIVES AND FINISIS A CANOE BY THE HELP OP A FE:
LOw-SERVANT, AND PUTS TO SHA AT A VENTURE.










itp settled my little economy to my own,
heart's content. My master had ordered
a room to be made for me, after their
manner, about six yards from the house:
the sides and floors of which T piastered
with clay, and covered with rush mats
of my own contriving: Thad beaten hemp-
which there grows wild, and made of it a
sort of ticking: this I filled with the
Fahoos' hairs,

















feathers of several birds J had taken with springs made of
and* were excellent food. I had worked two chairs with my knife, the



* It should be,—and, ‘which’ were excellent food. ‘This sentence is faulty in
other respects; but here, as well as in many other passages of these Voyages, the
‘GULIIVER'S TRAVETS. = . 988

sorrel] nag helping mein the grosser and more laborious purt. When
my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with the skins
of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the same size, called
nnuhnoh, the skin of which is covered with a fine down. Of these I
also made very tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes with wood, which
I cut from a tree, and fitted to the upper leather; and when ‘this was
worn out, I supplied it with the skins of Yehoos dried inthe sun. T
often got honey out of hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate
with my bread. No man could more. verify the truth of: these. two
maxims, that “Na‘ure is very easily satisfied ;” and, that ‘+ Necessity is
the mother of invention’ I enjoyed perfect health of body and tran-
quillity of mind; I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend,
nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of bribing;



flattering, or pimping; to procure the favour of any great man, or of hie
minion. I wanted no fence against fraud or oppression: here was

author has intentionally made use of inaccurate expressions and studied negligence,
in order to make the style more like that of a seafaring man, on which account they
have been passed over in silence, where such intention was obvious. °S. :
284 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNUNMS,

neither physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune;
no informer to watch my words and actions, or forge accusations against
me for hire: here were no gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets,
highwaymen, housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters,
politicians, wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers,
murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders, or followers, of party and
faction ; no encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples; no dun-
geons, taxes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no cheating shop-
keepers or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or affectation; no fops, bullies,
drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes; no ranting, lewd, expensive
wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no importunate, overbearing, quarrel-
some, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing companions; no
scoundrels raised from the dust upon the merit of their vices, or nobility
thrown into it on account of their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or
dancing-masters.

I had the favour of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms, who came
to visit or dine with my master; where his honour graciously suffered
me to wait in the room, and listen to their discourse. Both he and his
company would often descend to ask me questions, and receive my
answers. I had also sometimes the honour of attending my master in
his visits to others. I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a
question; and then I did it with inward regret, because it was a loss of
so much time for improving myself: but I was infinitely delighted with
the station of an humble auditor in such conversations, where nothing
passed but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant
words: where, asI have already said, the greatest decency was observed,
without the least degree of ceremony; where no person spoke without
being pleased himself, and pleasing his companions; where there was
no interruption, tediousness, heat, or difference of sentiments. They
have a notion, that when people are met together, a short silence does
much improve conversation; this I found to be true; for, during those
little intermissions of talk, new ideas would arise in their minds, which
very much enlivened the discourse. Their subjects are generally on
friendship and benevolence, on order and economy; sometimes upon the
visible operations of nature, or ancient traditions; upon the bounds and
limits of virtue ; upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon some determi-
nation to be taken at the next great assembly ; and often upon the various
excellences of poetry. I may add, without vanity, that my presence
often gave them sufficient matter for discourse, because it afforded my
master an occasion of letting his friends into the history of me and my
country, upon which they were all pleased to descant, in a manner not
very advantageous to human kind ; and for that reason I shall not repeat
QULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 283

what they said: only I may be allowed to observe, that his honour, to
my great admiration, appeared to understand the nature of Yahoos much
better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies, and dis-
covered many, which I had never mentioned to him, by only supposing
what qualities a Yahoo of their country, with a small proportion of
reason, might be capable of exerting; and concluded, with too much
probability, ‘‘ how vile as well as miserable such a creature must be.”

I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I had of any value, was
acquired by the lectures I had received from my master, and from hear-
ing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be prouder
to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest assembly in Europe.
I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed of the inhabitants; and
such a constellation of virtues, in such amiable persons, produced in me
the highest veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural awe,
which the Yahoos and all other animals beay towards them: but it grew
upon me by degrees, much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with
a respectful love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish
me from the rest of my species.

When thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the
human race in general, I considered them, as they really were, Yahoos
in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified
with the gift of speech; but making no other use of reason, than to im-
prove and multiply those vices, whereof their brethren in this country
had only the share that nature allotted them. When I happened to
behold the reflection of my own form in a lake or fountain, I turned
away my face in horror and detestation of myself; and could better
endure the sight of a common Yahoo, than of my own person. By
conversing with the Houyhnhnms, and looking upon them with delight,
I fell to imitate their gait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit;
and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, “ that I trot like a horse ;”
which, however I take for a great compliment: neither shall I disown,
that in speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and manners of the
Houyhnhnms, and hear myself ridiculed on that account, without the
least mortification.

In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to
be fully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a little earlier
than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance that he was in some
perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a
short silence, he told me “he did not know how I would take what he
was going to say: that in the last general assembly, when the affair of
the Yahoos was entered upon, the representatives had taken offence at
his keeping a Yahoo (meaning myself} in his family, more like a HHouwy-
286 A VOYAGE TO TUN TOUYHNENMS,

Anhnm than’a orute animal; that he was known frequently to converse
with me, as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my com-
pany; that such a practice was not agrecable to reason or nature, or a
thing ever heard of before among them; the assembly did therefore
exhort him cither to employ me like the rest of my species, or command
me to swim back to the place whence I came: that the first of these
expedients was utterly rejected by all the Houyhnhaums who had ever
seen me at his house or their own; for they alleged, that because 1 had
some rudiments of reason, added to the natural gravity of those animals,
it was to be feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and
mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops by night to
destroy the Houylnhnms’ cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous kind,
and averse from labour.”

My master added, ‘that he was daily pressed by the Heuyhnhnms of
the neighbourhood, to have the assembly's exhortation executed, which
he could not put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible
for me to'swim to another country; and therefore wished I would con-
trive some sort of vehicle resembling those I had described to him, that
might carry me on the sea; in which work I should have the assistance
of his own servants, as well as those of his neighbours.” He concluded,
“that, for his own part, he could have been content to keep me in his
service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured myself of some
bad habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior nature
was capable, to imitate the Houyhnhnms.”

I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general
assembly in this country, is expressed by the word Anhloayn, which
signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it: for they have no
conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but only advised
or exhorted; because no person can disobey reason, without giving up
his claim to be a rational creature,

Iwas struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master’s dis-
course ; and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I fell into
a swoon at his fect. When I came to myself, he told me, “ that he con-
eluded I had been dead ;” for these people are subject to no such imbe-
cilities of nature. I answered, in a faint voice, “ that death would have
been too great a happiness: that although I could not blame the assem-
bly’s exhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my weak and
corrupt judgment, I thought it might consist with reason to haye been less
rigorous: that I could not swim a league, and probably the nearest land

theirs might be distant above a hundred : that many materials, necessary
for making a small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this
country ; which, however, I would attempt, in obedience and gratitude
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, 27

to his honour, although I concluded the thing to be impossible, and
therefore looked on myself as already devoted to destruction: that the



certain prospect of an unnatural death was the least of my evils; for,
supposing I should escape with life by some strange adventure, how
could I think with temper of passing my days among Yahoos, and re-
lapsing into my old corruptions, for want of examples to lead and keep
me within the paths of virtue? that I knew too well upon what solid
reasons all the determinations of the wise Houyhninms were founded,
not to be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable Yahoo ; and there-
fore, after presenting him with my humble thanks for the offer of his
servant's assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a reasonable time
for so difficult a work, I told him I would endeavour to preserve a
wretched being; and if ever I returned to England, was not without
hopes of being useful to my own species, by celebrating the praises of
the renowned Houyhnhums, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of
mankind.”

My master, in a few words, made me a yery graciousreply ; allowed me
the space of two months to finish my boat: and ordered the sorrel nag,
my fellow-servant, (for so at this distance I may presume to call him),
to follow .my instructions ; because I told my master, “ that his help
would be sufficient, and I knew he had a tenderness for me.”

In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the coast
where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. I got
upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea, fancied I saw a
small island towards the north-east; I took out my pocket-glass, and
288 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNUNYS;

could then cleaziy distinguish it about five leagues off, as I computed :
but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue cloud: for as he had
no conception of any country beside his own, so he could not be as ex-
pert in distinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who so much conyerse*
in that element.

After I had discovered this island, I considered no further ; but re-
solved it should, if possible, be the first place of my banishment, leaving
the consequence to fortune.

I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a
copse at some distance, where I with my knife, and he witha sharp flint,
fastened very artificially after their manner to a wooden handle, cut
down several oak wattles, about the thickness of a walking-staff, and
some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble the reader with a particular
description of my own mechanics ; let it suffice to say, that in’six weeks’
time, with the help of the sorrel nag, wko performed the parts that re-



quired most labour, [ finished a sort of Indian canoe, but much larger,
covering it with the skins of Yahoos, well stitched together with hempen
threads of my own making. My sail was likewise composed of the skins
of the same animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the
older being too tough and thick: and I likewise provided myself with
four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls ;
and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other with
water. ;

* This is an uncommon use of the word “converse ; instead of the verb, the ad-

jective is always employed in this sense; as thus—'‘as we who are so conversant i
that element,”—S.
GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 283

T tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house, and then
corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with Yahoos’
tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and my freight ; and,
when if was as complete as I could possibly make it, I had it drawn ona
carriage very gently by Yahoos to the sea-side, under the conduct of the
sorrel nag and another servant.

When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took leave
of my master and lady and the whole family, my eyes flowing with tears,
and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his honour, out of curiosity,
and perhaps (if I may speak it without vanity) partly out of kindness,
was determined to see me in my canoe; and got several of his neigh-
bouring friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an hour
for the tide, and then observing the wind very fortunately bearing towards
the island to which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave
of my master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he
did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not ignorant
how much I have been censured for mentioning this last particular. De-
tractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so illustrious a person
should descend to give so great a mark of distinction to a creature so
inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten how apt some travellers are to
boast of extraordinary favours they haye received. But if these censurers
were better acquainted with the noble and courteous disposition of the
Houyhnhnms, they would soon change their opinion.

I paid my respects to the rest of the Houyhnhnms in his honours
company ; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from shore.






CHAPTER XI.

THE AUTHOR'S DANGEROUS VOYAGE. HE ARRIVES AT KEW HOL-
LAND, HOPING TO SETTLE THERE. IS WOUNDED WITH AN ARROW
BY ONE OF THE NATIVES. IS SEIZED AND CARRIED BY FORCE
INTO A PORTUGUESE SHIP. THE GREAT CIVILITIES OF THE
CAPTAIN. THE AUTHOR ARRIVES AT ENGLAND. :

BEGAN this desperate voyage on February
15th, 1714-15, at nine o’clock in the
morning. The wind was very favourable ;
however, I made use at first only of my
paddles; but considering I should be
weary, and that the wind might chop
about, I ventured to set up my little sail:
and thus, with the help of the tide, I
went at the rate of a league and a-half an
hour, as near as I could guess. My
master and his friends continued on the shore till I was almost out of
sight; and I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying




.
GULLIVER'S TEAVELS. 291

out, “ Hnuy illa nyha majah Yahoo; “Take care of thyself, gentle
Yahoo.”

My design was, if possible, to discover some small island uninhabited
yet sufficient by my labour to furnish me with the necessaries of life,
which I would have thought a greater happiness, than to be first
minister in the politest court of Europe; so horrible was the idea I
conceived of returning to live in the society, and under the government
of Yahoos. For in such a solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy
my own thoughts, and reflect with delight on the virtues of those
inimitable Houyhnhnms, without an opportunity of degenerating into the
vices and corruptions of my own species.

The reader may remember what I related, when my crew conspired
against me, and confined me in my cabin; how I continued there several
weeks without knowing what course we took; and when I was put
asliore in the long-boat, how the sailors told me with oaths, whether true
or false, “ that they knew not in what part of the world we were.” How-
ever, I did then believe us to be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape
of Good Hope, or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from
some general words I overheard among them, being as I supposed to the
south-cast in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although this
were little better than a conjecture, yet I resolved to. steer my course
eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New Holland, and
perhaps some such island as I desired lying westward of it. The wind
was full west, and by six in the evening I computed I had gone eastward
at least eightecn leagues; when I spied a very small island about half a
league off, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a rock, with oné
creck naturally arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my
canoe, and climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to
the east, extending from south to north. I lay all night im my canoe;
and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven hours to
the south-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me in the opinion
I have long entertained, that the maps and charts place this country at
least three degrees more at the east than it really is; which thought I
communicated many years ago to my worthy friend, Mr, Herman Moll,
and gave him my reasons for it, although he has rather chosen to follow
other authors.

I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed,
I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found some shell-fish
on the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear of
being discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding on
oysters and limpets, to save my own provision ; and I fortunately found
a brook of excellent water; which gave me great relief.
292 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty or
thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from me, ‘They
were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a fire, as I could dis-
cover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and gave notice to the rest ;
five of them advanced towards me, leaving the women and children at
the fire. I made what haste I could to the shore, and getting into my
canoe, shoved off; the savages, observing me retreat, ran after me; and
before I could get far enough into the sea, discharged an arrow, which
wounded me deeply on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the
mark to my grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and
paddling out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I made a
shift to suck the wound, and dress it as well as I could.

I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same landing-
place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle ; for the wind,
though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-west. As I was
looking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a sail to the north-north-
east, which appearing every minute more visible, I was in some doubt
whether I should wait for them or not; but at last my detestation of the
Yahoo race prevailed ; and turning my canoe, I sailed and paddled to-
wards the south, and got into the same creek whence I set out in the
morning, choosing rather to trust myself among these barbarians, than
live with European Yahoos. I drew up my canoe as close us I could to
the shore, and hid myself behind a stone by the little brook, which, as I
have already said, was excellent water.

The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long-
boat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place it seems was very
well known); but I did not observe it, till the boat was almost on shore;
and it was too late to seek another hiding-place. ‘The seamen at their
landing observed my canoe, and rummaging it all oyer, easily conjectured
that the owner could not be far off. Four of them, well armed, searched
every cranny and lurking-hole, till at last they found me flat on my face
behind the stone. They gazed awhile in admiration at my strange
uncouth dress; my coat made of skins, my wooden-soled shoes, and my
furred stockings; whence, however, they concluded, I was not a native
of the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid
me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that language very well,
and getting upon my feet, said, “I was a poor Vahoo banished from the
Houyhnhnms, and desired they would please to let me depart.” They
admired to hear me answer them in their own tongue, and saw by my
complexion I must be a European; but were at a loss to know what i
meant by Yahoo and Houyhnhnms ; and at the same time fell a laughing
at my strange tone in speaking, which resembled the neighing of a horse,
GULLIVER'S PRAVELS, 293

I trembled all the while betwixt fear and hatred. I again desired leave
to depart, and was gently moving to my canoe; but they laid hold of me,
desiring to know ‘what country I was of? whence I came?’ wiih



many other questions. I told them ‘I was born in England, whence I
came about five years ago, and then their country and ours were at peace.
I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an enemy, since I meant
them no harm ; but was a poor Yahoo secking some desolate place
where to pass the remainder of his unfortunate life.”

When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw anything
more unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a cow
should speak in England, or a Yahoo in Houyhnhnmland. 'The honest
Portuguese were equally amazed at my strange dress, and the odd
manner of delivering my words, which however they understood very
well. They spoke to me with great humanity, and said, “ they were
sure the captain would carry me gratis to Lisbon, whence I might
return to my own country; that two of the seamen would go back to
the ship, inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his
orders: in the mean time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to
fly, they would secure me by force.” I thought it best to comply with
294 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

their proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but [gave
them very little satisfaction, and they all conjectured that my misfortunes’
had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which went laden
with vessels of water, returned, with the captain’s command, to fetch me
on board. I fellon my knees to presesve my liberty; but all was in vain:
and the men, having tied me with cords, hvaved me into the boat,
whence I was taken to the ship, and thence to the captain's cabin.

His name was Pedro de Mendez: he was a very courteous and
generous person. He entreated me to give some account of myself, and
desired to know what I would eat or drink: said, ‘I should be used as
well as himself :” and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered
to find such civilities from a Yahoo. However, I remained silent and
sullen ; I was ready to faint at the very smell of him and his men. At
last I desired something to eat out of my own canoe; but he ordered
me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and then directed that I should
be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but
lay on the bed-clothes, and in half an hour stole out, when I thought the
crew was at dinner, and getting to the side of the ship, was going to
leap into the sea, and swim for my life, rather than continue among
Yahoos. But one of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the
captain, I was chained to my cabin.

After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason
for so desperate an attempt; assured me, “ he only meant to do me all
the service he was able; and spoke so very movingly, that at last I
descended to treat him like an animal which had some little portion of
reason. I gave hima very short relation of my voyage; of the con-
spiracy against me by my own men: of the country where they set me
on shore, and of my five years’ residence there: all which he looked
upon as if it were a dream or a vision: whereat I took great offence :
for Lhad quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar to Yahoos, in all
countries where they preside, and consequently, the disposition of
suspecting truth in others of their own species, I asked him, ‘‘ whether
it were the custom in his country to say the thing which was not?” I
assured him, ‘I had almost forgot what he meant by falsehood, and if I
had lived a thousand years in Houyhnhnmland, 1 should never have
heard alie from the meanest servant: that I was altogether indifferent
whether he believed me or not: but, however, in return for his favours,
I would give so much allowance to the corruption of his nature, as to
answer any objection he might please to make, and then he might easily
discover the truth.”

The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping
in some part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of my
GULLLYVER'S TRAVELS, 205

veracity. But he added,-‘‘ that since [ professed so inviolable an attach-
ment to truth, I must give him my word and honour to bear him com-
pany in this voyage, without attempting anything against my life; or else
he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon.” I gaye him
the promise he required ; but at the same time protested, “that I would
suffer the greatest hardships, rather than return to liye among Yahoos.”

Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude
to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest request, and
strove to conceal my antipathy egainst human kind, although it often
broke out; which he suffered to pass without observation. But the
greatest part of the day I confined myself to my cabin, to avoid sceing
any of the crew. ‘The captain had often entreated me to strip myself of
my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of clothes he had.
This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to coyer myself
with anything that had been on the back of a Yahoo, I only desired he
would lend me two clean shirts, which, having been washed since he
wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I changed
every second day, and washed them myself.

We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain
forced me to coyer myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble from
crowding wbout mo, I was conyoyed to his own house; and at my
carnest request he led me up to the highest room backward. I conjured
him “ to conceal from all persons what Thad told him of the Houy/n-
hums; because the least hint of such a story would not only draw
numbers of people to see me, but probably put me in danger of being
imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition.” The captain persuaded me to
accept a suit of clothes newly made ; but I would not suffer the tailor to
take my measure; however, Don Pedro being almost of my size, they
fitted me well enough. He accoutred me with other necessaries, all new,
which I aired for twenty-four hours before I would use them.

The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which were
suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so obliging,
added to very good human understanding, that I really began to tolerate his
company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the
back window. By degrees I was brought into another room, whence I
peeped into the street, but drew my head back in a fright, In a week's
time he seduced me down to the door. I found my terror gradually
lessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed to increase. I was at last
bold enough to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well
stopped with ruc, or sometimes with tobacco,

In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my do-
mestic affiirs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and conscience
296 A YOYAGR TO THE HOUYINHNMsS,

“that I ought to return to my native country, and live at home with ‘my
wife and children.”” He told me, ‘there was an English ship in the



port just ready to sail, and he would furnisn me with all things necessary.”
It would be tedious to repeat his arguments, and my contradictions. He
said, “it was altogether impossible to find such a solitary island as I de-
sired to live in; but I might command in my own house, and pass my
time in a manner as recluse as I pleased.”

I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the
24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was the
master I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and
lent me twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and embraced me at
parting, which I bore as well as I could. During this last voyage I had
no commerce with the master or any of his men: but pretending I was
sick, kept close in my cabin. On the fifth of December, 1715, we cast
anchor in the Downs, about nine in the morning, and at three in the
afternoon I got safe to my house at Redriff.

My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because
they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight of
GULIAVER'S VRAVELS. 297

them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt ; and the more,
by reflecting on the near alliance I had to them. For although, since
my unfortunate exile from the Houyhnhnms’ country, I had compelled my-
self to tolerate the sight of Yahoos, and to converse with Don Pedro de
Mendez, yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with the
virtues and ideas of those exalted Houyhnhnms. And when I began to
consider that, by copulating with one of the Yahoos species, I had become
a parent of more, it struck me with the utmost shame, confusion, and
horror.

As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and
kissed me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that odious
animal for so many years, I fell into'a swoon for almost an hour. At the
time I am writing, it is five years since my last return to England;
during the first year, I could not endure my wife or children in my pre-
sence; the very smell of them was intolerable ; much less could I suffer
them to eatin the same room. To this hour they dare not presume to
touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I ever able to
let one of them take me by the hand. The first money I laid out was to
buy two young stone-horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next
to them, the groom is my greatest fayourite ; for I feel my spirits revived
by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tole-
rably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They
are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me, and
friendship to each other.




CHAPTER XU.

THES AUTHOR'S VERACITY. HIS DESIGN IN PUBLISHING THIS WORK.
HIS CENSURE OF THOSE TRAVELLERS WHO SWERVE FROM TITK
TRUTH, THE AUTHOR CLEARS HIMSELF FROM ANY SINISTER
ENDS IN WRITING, AN OBJECTION ANSWERED. THE METHOD or
PLANTING COLONIES, HIS NATIVE COUNTRY COMMENDED. THE
RIGHT OF THE CROWN TO THOSE COUNTRIES DESCRIBED BY THE
AUTHOR, IS JUSTIFIED. THE DIFFICULTY oF CONQUERING ‘LITEM.
THE AUTHOR TAKES HIS LAST LEAVE OF THE READER; PROPOSES
HIS MANNER OF LIVING FOR THE FUTURE; GIVES GOOD ADVICE,
AND CONCLUDES,

nus, gentle reader, 1 have given thee a
faithful history of my travels for sixteen
years and above seven months: wherein I
have not been so studious of ornament as
of truth. I could, perhaps, like others,
have astonished thee with strange impro-
bable tales; but I rather choose to relate
plain matter of fact, in the simplest man-
ner and style ; because my principal design
emer was to inform, and not to amuse thee.
It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldom
visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions of


GULLIVER’S TRAVELS. 299

wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller's chief
aim should be to make men wiser and better, and improve their minds
by the bad, as well as good example, of what they deliver concerning
foreign places.

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, before
he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make
oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print was
absolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then the world would
no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some writers, to make their
works pass the better upon the public, impose the grossest falsities on
the unwary reader. I have peruscd several books of travels with
great delight in my younger days; but having since gone over most
parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts
from my own observation, it has given me a great disgust against this
part of reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind so
impudently abused. ‘Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased to
think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, I
imposed on myself as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I would
strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least
temptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures and
example of my noble master, and the other illustrious Houyhnhams
of whom I had so long the honour to be an humble hearer.

——Nee si miserum Fortuna Sinonem
Finxit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget.

T know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings,
which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent
except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise that
writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by the
weight and bulk of those who come last, and therefore lie uppermost.
And it is highly probable, that such travellers, who shall hereafter visit
the countries described in this work of mine, may, by detecting my errors
(if there be any), and adding many new discoveries of their own, justle
me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that
ever I was an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if
I wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I can-
not be altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues I have
mentioned in the glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his
own vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing animal
of his country? I shall say nothing of those remote nations where
Yahoos preside; among which the least corrupted are the Brobding-
nagians ; whose wise maxims in morality and government it would be
300 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.

our happiness to observe. But I forbear descanting further, and rather
leave the judicious reader to his own remarks and application.

I am not a little pleased, that this work of mine can possibly meet
with no censurers; for what objections can be made against a writer,
who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries,
where we have not the least interest, with respect either to trade or
negociations? I have carefully avoided every fault, with which common
writers of travels are often too justly chargrd. Besides, I meddle not
the least with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, or ill-will
against any man, or number of men whatsoever. - I write for the noblest
end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, without breach
of modesty, pretend to some superiority, from the advantages I received
by conversing so long among the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I
write without any view to profit or praise. / I never suffer a word to pass
that may look like refiection, or possibly give the least offence, even to
those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may with justice
pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless; against whom the
tribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers, Reflectors, Detectors,
Remarkers, will never be able to find matter for exercising their talents.

I confess, it was whispered to me, that I was bound in duty, as a
subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of state at
my first coming over; because whatever lands are discovered by a
subject, belong to the crown. But I doubt whether our conquests, in
the countries I treat of, would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez
over the naked Americans. The Lilliputians, I think, are hardly worth
the charge ofa fleet and army to reduce them; and I question whether it
might be prudent or safe to attempt the Brobdingnagians ; or whether an
English army would be much at their ease, with the Ilying Island over
their heads. The Houyhnhnms indeed appear not to be so well prepared
for war, a science to which they are perfect strangers, and especially
against missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be a minister
of state, I could never give my advice for invading them. Their prudence,
unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country,
would amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty
thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army, con-
founding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the warriors’
faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs; for they
would well deserve the character given to Augustus, Recalcitrat undique
tutus. But, instead of proposals for conquering that magnanimous -
nation, I rather wish they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a
sufficient number of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching
us the first principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit,
GULLIVER S TRAVELS. 301

fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names of
all which virtues are still retained among us in most languages, and are
to be met with in modern, as well as ancient authors; which I am able
to assert from my own small reading.

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his
majesty’s dominions by my discoveries. ‘lo say the truth, I had
conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of
princes upon those occasions. Jor instance, a crew of pirates are driven
by a storm they know not whither; at last a boy discovers land from the
topmast; they go on shore to rob and plunder; they see a harmless
people; are entertained with kindness; they give the country a new
name; they take formal possession of it for their king; they set up
arotten plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three
dozen of the natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample ;
return home and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion
acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first
opportunity; the natives driven out or destroyed ; their princes tortured
to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of inhumanity and
lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its inhabitants: and this
execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious an expedition, is a
modern colony, sent to conyert and civilize an idolatrous and barbarous
people.

But this description, I confess, docs by no means affect the British
nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom,
care, and justice in planting colonies: their liberal endowments for the
advancement of religion and learning; their choice of deyout and able
pastors to propagate Christianity; their caution in stocking their pro-
vinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this the mother
kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in supplying
the civil administration through all their colonies with officers of the
greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption ; and, to crown all, by
sending the most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other
views than the happiness of the people over whom they preside, and
the honour of the king their master.

But as those countries, which I have described, do not appear to have
any desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out, by
colonies; nor abound cither in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco; I did
humbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our
valour, or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns, think
fit to*be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be
lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries before
me. I mean if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a dispute
802 A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNINMS.

may arise concerning the two Yahoos, said to have been seen many years
ago upon a mountain in Houyhnhknmland.

But as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign’s name,
it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my affairs
then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and self-preservation,
have put it off to a better opportunity.

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised
against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my courteous
readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at
Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of virtue, which I learned
among the Houyhnhnms ; to instruct the Yahoos of my own family, as
far as I shall find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in a
glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight
of a human creature ; to lament the brutality of ZZouyhnhnms, in my own
country, but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of my
noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole Houyhnhnm race,
whom these of ours have the honour to resemble in all their lineaments,
however their intellectuals came to degenerate.

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the
farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost bre-
vity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a Yahoo con-
tinuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue,
lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late in
life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some time,
to suffer a neighbour Yahoo in my company, without the apprehensions
I am yet under of his teeth or his claws,

My reconcilement to the Yahoo kind in general might not be so diffi-
cult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only, which
nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the
sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, a
politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a suborner, an
attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to the due course of
things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both in
body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately breaks all the mea-
sures of my patience; neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how
such an animal, and such a vice, could tally together. The wise and
virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in all the excellencies that can adorn
a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their language ; which
has no terms to express anything that is evil, except those whereby they
describe the detestable qualities of their Yahoos ; among which they
were not able to distinguish this of pride, for want of thoroughly under-
standing human nature, as it shows itself in other countries where that
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 303

animal presides. But I, who had more experience, could plainly observe
some rudiments of it among the wild Yahoos.

But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the government of reason, are
no more proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be for not
not wanting a leg or an arm: which no man in his wits would boast of,
although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon
this subject, from the desire I have to make the society of an Mnglish
Yahoo by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here intreat
those, who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not
presume to come in my sight.


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must himself be more or less a poct—expressing by | paper. While the subjects are systematically
form aud colour that which the writer educes by | chosen from the best works of ancient and modern
words ; and to bring both art and literature, in the | artists, there is attached to each such attractive
most attractive guise, to the homes and firesides of | information upon its origin, style, history, or
the many, is the aim and object of the present } feeling, as may be necessary to enable the reader to
work, The engravings are of the first class, from | appreciate its peculiar excellence and value.
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spirited a manner this beautiful edition of Shakes- | embelished with wood engravings, executed in the
peare’s Works, which comes recommended to them } first style of art, and is printed on good paper,
not by one but by many attractions, There is | and inaclear type; and last, though not least, it
appended to each play a carefully written historical | is the cheapest edition of Shakespeare’s works that
aud analytical introduction, and just a suilicient | has yet been issued to the public,” . ;
quantity of critical, general, and explanatory notes; Weekly Tuaes,
MNRAVELLERS AND TRAVELLING. A Book for Everybody going Any-

where. By E. L. Buancnanrp, Lavisiily Illustrated by F. G, DeLamorre. ;
In stiffened wrapper, price Is.

*«Heads and Tales of Travellers and Travelling’ , laugh. Puns and jokes of all kinds, ‘from grave
is exactly one of those books that every one ought | to gay, from lively to severe,’ are throughout iW.
to read.” Open it where you will, you will be safe pages as “ plentiful as blackberries,’ ”
to find something to amuse you and make you |
'OHE ADVENTURES OF OLD DAN TUCKER AND HIS SON WAL

TER. A Tale of North Carolina, By C. H. Witey, Illustrated with beautiful Enyravings, by
Faux 0. C. Darusv- Demy 8vo, olvth, gilt edges, price 3s, 6d.


WILLOUGHBY &

CO’S CATALOGUE, .

IFE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST. Being a Cor-

rect and General History of our Glorious Redeemer, from his birth to his ascension into Heavens

with the lives of the Holy Apostles and Evangelists,

By the Rev, Joun FLuRtwoop, pp, Embellished

with splendid Engravings, in outline, after the old Masters, and reprinted, without abridgment, from the

best edition,

‘The high price at which editions of this work
have been published, has prevented many persons
of confined incomes from possessing it; the Pro-
prictors feel, therefore, that any apology would be
quite superfluous in extenuation of their present

ORKS OF JOSEPHUS.
of the Author, and numerous Engravings,

~

RICELESS PEARLS FOR ALL CIRISTIANS.

Demy 8yo, fancy cloth, gilt edges, price Ss.
undertaking, to place within the reach of even
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true Christian.”



Translated by W. Wuiston, a.m, with a Life

Crown 4to, price 8s.



Containing the Nati-

vity, The Baptism, The Teachings, The Miracles, The Transfiguration, The Crucifixion, and ‘The
Resurrection of Our Glorious Redeemer, with beautiful Engravings in outline,

“A very delightful Sunday book. Tt consists of
devout meditations on the grand subjects (of such
profound and perennial interest to all Christians),
which are mentioned above, interspersed with
pieces of sacred poetry, selected from the most

Demy 8vo, cloth, gilt edges, price 8s. 6d.

celebrated religious poetry of England and Americas °

the whole illustrated with very elegant line engrav-
ings, from pictures by some of the greatest masters,
ancient and modern.”

Herald of Peace,



FRABLES; Original and Selected. With an Introductory Dissertation .on the

Bussgy.

“To the lovers of Fables—that is to say, to every
one who has imagination and moral sense—this
publication ought to be a welcome und grateful
offering,”

Atlas.

“The engravings are superb, both as regards
their design and execution. The work is heautifully
got up, and is sold remarkably cheap—even for



History of Fable, aud comprising Biographical Notices of the most eminent Fabulists, by G. Moir
Embellished with aumerous Engravings by J. J. GRANDVILLE,

Demy 8vo, cloth, gilt back (386 pp.), price 63.

this age of cheap printing. We cordially recom.
mend it to our reajlers,” Satirist.
“The selection has been made with care and.
attention; it is characterised by a total absence of
everything gross.” Morning Advertiser.
“We can confidently recommend this work to
our readers, as one of the cheapest and best of its
class.” Court Gazelle.

THE SOLDIER'S PROGRESS: pourtrayed in Six Tahleaux, from designs
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Price One Shilling,

2 Also, uniform with THE SOLDIER'S PROGRESS,
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Peet teeta tees gett

MNHE SOLDIER'S PROGRESS: or, the Life of Groroz Power, By

Saran Symonps.

“There is nothing more terrible than a victory except a defeat.”
“This little volume is well-written, deeply interesting, neatly bound and illustrated,”
“It is on the whole a performance 4=!te creditable to the fair authoress.”

“A very cleverly-written story......The book will make you weep and moralise.”

The late Duke of Wellington.
Oritie.

Weekly Chronicle,
Era,

Tn cloth, gilt edges, with the Engravings coloured, price 3s. 6d, ; or handsomely bound, price 2s, 6d,

ARRAN

MVE LIVES AND ACTIONS OF THE MOST NOTED HIGHWAYMEN
STREEYT-ROBBERS, PIRATES, &. By Carrary Cuartes Jomnson.

Steel Engravings by “ Paz.”

“Notwithstanding the many experiments that
have been made, the many systeins that have
heen adopted, tried, and abasicoued, the theory of
crime, its prevention, and its punishment, yet
remains rough, rude, and incemplete, ‘To en-

fee

,
Illustrated with
Post Svo., cloth, gilt back, price 3s. 6d.

: able the opinions of the present day to be formed
} on that truest of all bases, the experience of the

past, no work has been admitted to be so valuable
, as that to which these lives aiford an intro-
' ductign,



LAUDIUS BOTIO: his Rambles and Surprising Adventures, bv the Author

of “Samuel Sowerby,” &c., with numerous illustrations on Stecl.

Bound in cloth, gilt back, price 4s,